Jocko Podcast 158 w/ Echo Charles: Evil Does Exist. "Panzram"

this is Jocko podcast number 158 with echo Charles and me Jacques will win like good evening echo good evening there was blood all over the floor and smoke in the air I heard shots fired outside but I wasn't quite sure who was shooting or what they were shooting at I moved down the hallway confirming that all the rooms had been cleared I soon found the source of the blood a wounded Iraqi civilian on whom I seal hospital corpsman a highly trained combat medic was working to apply medical care and that's just a short little opening from chapter 2 of the book the dichotomy leadership with that I wrote with my brother LAIV babban and in that chapter I go on to explain how during this operation in Fallujah Iraq we went on to detain multiple suspected terrorists that night and I don't go into much detail about that and I don't talk about the people that we captured we think I think we took I think we took about 13 people off target military-aged males we were probably looking for two or three we weren't couldn't figure out or confirm who they were so we brought all the military aged males off target and so we end up at this Detention Facility and we're turning these individuals over and I'm sitting there kind of just looking at him just sizing him up this is one of the earliest operations I had done in my life it was the first big operation I did in Iraq and so I'm sort of curious I guess for lack of a better word and I'm looking at the people that we had captured like I said I think there's 13 of them and just looking at him looking at their emotions that they were going through and some of them looked scared right in fact I would say the majority of them just looked scared just this is not good and this is a bad situation and you get that feeling like okay this guy's probably not bad we'll be released some of the guys looked mad which is understandable - you know someone comes into your house in the middle of night and and takes you and you can be mad about that if you can overcome the scared part right then of course these people have lived under saddam hussein so they'd been through some brutal stuff and for them to be not afraid was also an understandable thing some of the older gentlemen and then there was one guy though that he looked he looked different well at the look in his eyes it'll definitely wasn't scared but it wasn't even mad it was like beyond mad it was beyond angry it was beyond a fanatical look the look that he had in his eyes was evil look like an evil we could see evil there and I never will forget that that face and I would see that type of face again over the years especially in Iraq you go out and capture someone that was known for doing horrible things and you could tell you need grab five or six people and you'd say oh let me guess which one is the bad guy and it usually wasn't very hard to tell and then occasionally some of those bad guys would just look they looked completely evil they look like sadists they look like murderers they they had the face of evil you could see it in their eyes and I was watching a video recently of a young beautiful young girl blond hair kind of unkempt blond hair a little bit wild and she had a like a constant persistent smile sort of shining on her face she had young little innocent eyes that were filled with hope and I watched this video and she says in the video she says my name is Luiza I'm a young lady from Denmark and I have a burning desire to go out into the Arctic and she's going on kind of describing herself she says I'm very enthusiastic about the outdoors and outdoor activities I'm studying outdoor life in Norway for this same reason I'm trying to find my dream she says to go into the Arctic but sometimes I take some detours before I end up where I want and in the video she's got clips of her in various parts of the world on beaches and in jungles and she's clearly a traveler and then she says but I'm still working my way towards the north a dream that has been stuck in my head and I hope wish and pray that I can achieve my dream a dream of experiencing the feeling of kicking a dog sled through the big Arctic about feeling the ice crystals in my face and the view of an infinite white landscape I dream about learning and experiencing the Magnificent untamed Arctic and the video ends with her picking up snow in her hands and she blows it innocently into the camera lens and she's laughing blending the video fades but she was not able to fulfill her dream in fact she entered a nightmare and didn't return on December 17th 2018 that girl who made that video her name was Louisa Jesperson and her friend Marin uhland another beautiful young lady from Norway they were both brutally brutally murdered by a group of subhuman savages as they camped beside a hiking trail in Morocco and these despicable vile people and I use that term loosely these these savages that murdered these two girls actually recorded their disgusting acts and posted them online they attacked these girls they sawed through their throats with butcher knives while they were still alive while they were screaming while they were gasping for air while they were begging for mercy and while they were eventually gurgling in their own blood and then fell silent and one of the murderers put his foot on one of the girls heads to hold her neck in place while he finished the job of decapitating her and these subhumans pledged their allegiance to Isis then shouted it's Allah's will as they killed these innocent girls sick depraved vile creatures evil evil does exist here's a another example of evil I started doing time when I was 11 years old and have been doing practically nothing else since then what time I haven't been in jail I've spent either getting out or getting in again I have no desire whatever to reform myself my only desire is to reform people who try to reform me and I believe the only way to reform people is to kill him in my lifetime I have murdered 21 human beings I have committed thousands of burglaries robberies larceny x' arsons and last but not least I have committed sodomy on more than 1,000 male human beings for all of these things I am not the least bit sorry I have no conscience so that doesn't worry me I don't believe in man God nor devil I hate the whole damned human race including myself i preyed upon the weak the harmless and the unsuspecting this lesson i was taught by others might makes right carl panzram number three one six one four and that is the opening of a book called panzram Journal of a murderer carl panzram was evil he was institutionalized for most of his life in detention centers and prisons and whatever may have been good about him at one time or another was eventually suffocated then what was left was pure unmitigated hatred and malevolence and while he was going through one of his final stints in prison he made friends with a young prison guard by the name of Henry lesser and Henry lesser seemed like a very good positive person kind of had the ideal of reform and how people could be helped in his mind in Henry asked that panzram write the story of his life which which panzram did then the notes were saved saved and documented and there was additional information from various supporting sources surrounding other details of Pan's Rams life and all that was put together and turned into this book which though it is a very difficult read it's in my opinion worth reading to gather a better understanding of of human nature and specifically of the capacity for men to commit evil so again most of this that I'm gonna read from the book is his writing carl panzram is writing and here we go back to the book I was born June 28 1891 on a small farm in Minnesota my parents were of German descent hard-working ignorant and poor the rest of the family consisted of five brothers and one sister all of whom are dead except three of us brothers and our sister all of my family are as the average human beings are they are honest and hard-working people all except myself I have been a human animal ever since I was born when I was very young at five or six of age I was a thief and a liar and the older I got the meaner I got as fast as the older boys grew up they also pulled out one died they let this left me my sister one older brother and my mother my sister and I were sent to school during the days and as soon as we came home in the evenings we were put to work in the fields where my older brother and my mother were always at work from daylight until long after dark sometimes my portion of pay consisted of plenty of work and a sound beating every time I looked cockeyed or done anything that displeased anyone who was older and stronger and cape and able to catch me and kick me around whenever they felt like it and it seemed to me and still does now that everything was always right for the one who was the strongest and every single thing that I done was wrong everybody said so anyway but right or wrong I used to get plenty of abuse everybody thought it was all right to deceive me lie to me and kick me around whenever they felt like it and they felt like it pretty regular that is the way my life was lived until I was about 11 years old at about that time I began to suspect that there was something wrong about the treatment I was getting from the rest of the human race when I was about 11 years old I began to hear and see that there were other places in this world besides my own little corner of it I began to realize that there were other people who live nice easy lives and were not kicked around and worked to death I decided that I wanted to leave my miserable home before I left I looked around and figured that one of our neighbors who was rich and had a nice home full of nice things had he had too much and I had too little so one night I broke into his home and stole everything to that to my eyes had the most value those things were some apples some cake and a great big pistol eating the apples and cake and carrying the pistol under my coat I walked to the railroad yards where I caught a freight train going to the West where I intended to be a cowboy and shoot Indians but I must have had my wires crossed because I missed my connection somewhere instead of going out and seeing the world I was caught brought back home and beaten half to death and sent to jail from there and from there to the Minnesota State training school at Red Wing Minnesota right there and then I began to learn about man's inhumanity to man so he's off to a rough start and he was his father had left him and I didn't mention that part obviously I'm not reading every part of the book but his father left the family and then it was up to his mom sounds like he had the more than his share of the the rebellious streak that I think most kids have and then he shows up at this Minnesota Minnesota State training school back to the book when I first went to the Minnesota State trade State training school I was about 12 years old lively healthy and very mischievous innocent and ignorant the law immediately proceeded to educate me to be a good clean upright citizen and a credit to the human race they trained me all right in that training school during my two years I was trained by two different sets of people to have two different sets of morals the good people tried to train me to be good and the bad people did train me to be bad the method that the good people used in training was to beat goodness into me and all the badness me they done their best but their best wasn't good enough to accomplish what they set out to do the more they beat me and whipped me the more I hated them and their damn religion oh yes we had plenty of church and religion all right I used to be pretty ignorant and not able to read very well so I was always had a hard job learning my Sunday School lessons for failure to learn these lessons I was given a whipping during the first year I was there I used to get a beating every Saturday night and sometimes three or four more during the week force doing something I wasn't supposed to do or for not doing something I was supposed to do oh yes I had plenty of abuse they had various methods of punishing us for doing wrong and for teaching us to do right the most popular with them was to take us to the paint shop so-called because there they used to paint our bodies black and blue naturally I now love Jesus very much much yes I love him so damn much that I would like to crucify him all over again I was too dumb to learn anything in school so they took me out and put me to work all day washing dishes and waiting on tables in the officers dining room right there I began to get a little revenge on those who abused me when I served some food to the some of the officers I used to urinate in their soup coffee or tea and masturbate into their ice cream or dessert and then stand right beside them and watch them eat it they enjoyed it too because they told me so I wish they could read this now the next thing I tried to do was poison that mr. John Moore by putting rat poison in his writes rice pudding but they caught me beat me and put me out of the dining room about that time I began to try and figure out some way to punish those who punished me the only thing I could figure out was to burn down the building in which the paint shop was located this I did I got a long thick piece of heavy cotton string wrapped it around and around a long round stick and lit what end of it and hit it in the laundry near some oil soaked rags that night the whole place burned down at a cost of 100 over a hundred thousand dollars nice eh some of the boys who were cleverer than I finally put me wise to how I should perform if I ever wanted to get out of that joint they told me to act like I was a very good boy tell everybody I met how much I love Jesus and how I wanted to go home and be a good boy go to school and learn to be a preacher I done just as they suggested and I'm damned if it didn't work out just as slick as hot grease through a tinhorn I was called in before the parole board one day and there I told him all the lies in hot air I could and they gave me a parole and let me go home in that way I first found out how to use religion as a cloak of hypocrisy to cover up my rascality 'he's rough way to kick things off yeah but you almost like you know you talk about like evil you almost fuel it for him though oh you almost are on his side kind of like yeah I won't just beating you up your whole life making just grinding if I'm beating you up and then like yes you're getting it that's how you feel right now yeah well it's it's one of those things that's gonna be you know yeah you feel sympathetic for someone and then you as as that person moves through life first of all it's there's other people that I've been through worse things that turn out great and wonderful human beings and there's other people that go through less that turn out worse right so there's it's it's a I'm no psychologist but there's there's it's one of the things that's troubling about this yeah and as you as you hear what he goes through and what he turns into it's yeah it's it's definitely a challenge and you know at the end of the day in in my opinion like hey you're still responsible for your actions and hey we get it that you went through some hard things that doesn't give you an excuse to behave in an immoral way it just doesn't yeah doesn't I'm sure that you know like he you say now he's you know pissing in the soup and whatnot it I mean I'm it I'm assuming those of the people who were trying to correct them and you know I'm beating them down you know yeah half of the of the school where he was being training yeah so I think that's sort of why you're like kinda feeling for him because it's like oh yeah you're getting direct revenge on that kind of thing and you're of course you're angry kid yeah of course what you went through but then yeah once you start just taking it out like oh let me see you know some person I'm mad at them because their life is and then you kill them or something they and that's when you're gonna start to not feel for them yeah I'm sure yeah I think so too yeah I guess you do get that kind of feeling like oh these guys are beating you up Knight get a little revenge yeah you you could make a positive movie about that right you could make a positive story yeah I mean depending on where it goes from there so right now you're you're on his side yeah I'm back to the book after serving about two years there are as pronounced by the parole board to be a nice clean boy of good morals as pure as a lily and a credit to those in authority and then in the instruction where I had been sent to be reformed yes sure I was reformed all right damn good and reformed too when I got out of there I knew all about Jesus in the Bible so much so that I knew it was all a lot of hot air but that wasn't all I knew I had been taught by Christians how to be a hypocrite and I had learned about stealing lying hating burning and killing from the treatment I received while there and the lessons I learned from it I had fully decided when I left there just how I would live my life I made up my mind that I would rob burn destroy and kill everywhere I went and everybody as long as I lived that's the way I was reformed in the Minnesota state training school that's the reason why so that's a little bit more that that's that's where you have something in his put in his personality right there's something there's plenty of people that went to this school that didn't go do what he did he made that something snapped yeah where he decided that he was just gonna make his life a life of it's making people suffer going on back to the book I did not want to learn these lessons but I found out that it isn't what one wants in this world that one gets force and might make right perhaps things shouldn't be that way but that's the way they are I learned to look with suspicion and hatred on everybody as the years went on that persisted in my mind that persisted that idea persisted in my mind above all others I figured that if I were strong enough and clever enough to impose my will on others I was right I still believe that to this day so this is just this twisted yeah it's really it doesn't take long for him they get pretty twisted in like there's a lesson here of there's a lesson that he talks about if I found out that it isn't in the what one wants in the world that one gets like that's actually an important lesson like you don't always get what you want but then taking that to say hey if I'm strong enough and I can force my will on things then I'll get what I want more often yeah and in that he did say clever enough - yeah which kind of it's weird cuz like a real low super low level of that still goes on I think with with a lot of people hold little doubt about it you know with justification and you know how like you know you you'll justify things in your head you know be like uh you know and when you do something bad you do something you know is unfair even that kind of low-level stuff like it's not hurting nobody for sure but it's like maybe not fair or something like that and you just justify in your head and you know like some people they're clever like they're smart yeah so they can justify their justifications are way more legit seeming cuz they're real smart they can just you know yeah it's kind of like what Lloyd you see the lawyers do in the movie yeah you paint someone to be like someone like what the you kind of take things out of context and put other things in context that not supposed to be their kind of thing and yeah you just kind of paint this picture in your own mind why what you're doing is right and of course in other people's mind too you know and you're clever you FDNY yeah you you're justifying it yourself and he's well he's not even talking about that he doesn't need to justify yourself he's doing what he's doing to to get what he wants yeah and his use of being clever isn't to justify to himself his use of being clever is just to outwit people and take advantage of them yeah be a con man beyond a con man and he gets so he's in and out of prison and he goes back into prison he gets out of prison he goes back into prison here at this point he broke out of prison and he hooks up with a guy named Jimmy Benson back to the book he showed me how to work the stick-up racket and how to rob the poor boxes in churches I in turn taught him how to set fire to a church after we robbed it we got very busy on that robbing and burning a church regular every chance we got when we got tired of riding a train because this is their their uh you know hitching on these trains when we got tired of riding on a train we used to open up the journal boxes take out the greasy waste packing and throw in some sand or gravel into it they wouldn't get far with that car so they get done riding a train and they just destroy it they real they ruined the gear boxes just general destruction of everything continues in and out of prison one time he's drunk and here's a guy talking about the army and ends up enlisting in the army back to the book I was only in the army a month or two when I got three years in US military prison at Fort Leavenworth Kansas I had the job of swinging an 18 pound hammer in the rock quarry most of my bit my number was 1874 and my name was carl panzram there I done 37 months I done plenty of work and I had plenty of punishment and the only good part of it was that they didn't try to hammer anymore religion into me at this time of my life I was about 20 years old six foot tall and weighed about a hundred and ninety pound of concentrated hell fired man inspired meanness I was strong as two or three average men I had to be to be able to withstand some of the punishments and labor that I went through during my three years in the US military prison one of my tasks and punishments while there was to be shackled to a 50-pound iron ball for six months during that time I wore the ball and chain day and night slept with it and worked with it on my work was in the rock quarry and that was three miles from the prison the gang of about 300 convicts and 40 screws used to march out in the morning and back at night the other men had to carry nothing except themselves but my part was to load my iron ball an 18 pound hammer a pick and shovel and a six-foot iron crowbar all into a wheelbarrow and marched behind the line of cons out to the quarry and worked there for eight and a half hours in the hot Kansas Sun busting big rocks but all that treatment did one good thing for me the worst food was and the harder they worked me the stronger I got was gonna say holy so he got a good work out already big and you think yeah he's 6 feet 190 pounds back in what is it 1900 or whatever easing yokes dude and he's doing all this hardcore physical labor and yeah he's turning into a very scary dude back to the book I was discharged from prison in 1910 by the way can you imagine you're in the Army for a couple months and you get put in the Leavenworth for three years I was the spirit of meanness personified I had not at this time God saw that I hated myself I only hated everybody else before I left there I sung on the same old song and gave him the same line about how I sure love Jesus and what a nice young man I was and how much good I it had done me to be sent to that prison I don't know if they believed me or not but they all said they did anyway they all declared that I was pure as a lily and free from sin again there's so a bunch of travel and there's a bunch of cuz they did he's a constant criminal Andy there's another thing we realized back in this day and the reason he named he said Oh at this time I was carl panzram is because he changes his name a bunch because that's what just what you would do back then if you were a criminal and there's no electronic tracking system there's no phone numbers no cell phone there's not even fault like phones in everyone's houses so you can get away with murder you know white literally and he does but he he's maybe not the best criminal as well because he gets caught a lot you know for robbing and stealing and part of it's because he has like a doesn't care a yeah so he gets put he gets arrested a different time he gets put into a chain gang and he eventually breaks away from escapes the chain gang and then he goes continuing skipping trains and ends up with an Indian guy and they worked together as a little team and they robbed a guy and here we go back to the book the Indian tied him up first he took off his belt pulled his pants down to below his knees and tied his legs together then he tied his hands behind his back then he tied his hands to his feet pulled together then he stuffed a sock in his mouth and tied a handkerchief tight over that and then tied him to a tree he was then ready to leave him and walk away but I wasn't through yet I figured while I had such a good chance as that I would commit a little sodomy on him this I proceeded to do and he mentions at one point that he hooked up with a girl and got some kind of VD and then he was like oh girls knotted they're dirty and so that's why he goes after guys now back to the book it at night while I was riding for the freight trains I was always on the lookout for something to shoot or trying to stick up the hobos that I met on the trains I looked him all over and whenever I met one who wasn't too rusty looking I would make him raise his hands and drop his pants I wasn't very particular either I rode them old and young tall and short white and black it made no difference to me some months later I was pinched at Chinook Montana for burglary I quick took a plea of guilty and got one year at the state prison at Deer Lodge Montana when I got there I met my old partner Jimmy Benson who was doing 10 years for robbery I stayed there about eight months and escaped he's also good at escaping he escapes all these things all the time a week later I was arrested in Three Forks Montana for burglary under the name of Jeff Rhodes I pleaded guilty and got a year and was sent back to Deer Lodge where I was at once brought to court and given one year for my escape under the name Jeff Davis out of these three sentences I served 23 months in that prison there was only work for a few men and I wasn't one of those all the cells were for two men in each cell each man could choose his own cellmates and get a new one anytime he wanted I used to want a new one pretty regular at that place and time I got to be an experienced wolf I knew her more about sodomy than old boy Oscar Wilde ever thought of knowing I would start in the morning with sodomy work as hard as as hard at it as I could all day and sometimes half the night I was so busy committing sodomy that I didn't have time left to serve Jesus as I had been taught to in those reform schools he gets out of that prison as soon as I got to Oregon and gets put in another prison I got to as soon as I got to Oregon state prison I was in more trouble I swore I would never do the seven years and defied the warden and all his officers to make me gets put in solitary confinement here we go in solitary confinement there are coolers and coolers some are bad and some are worse none are good some are cold and wet some are hot and dry some you freeze and others you roast and sweat in all you are hungry and thirsty and filthy and dirty in some you stay a day others a week and there have been times when I have been in the cooler a month or more bread and water isn't very nourishing and neither does it generate clean thinking in a person's mind the milk of human kindness generally curdles and turns into sour under such conditions the more cooler you get the more heat and hate there is in your heart in every joint I was ever in there was always some form of torture that was on tap I usually got my share of every kind there was I've had them all at one time or another and then he goes on through a bunch of different torture that they would use on these prisoners from like straightjacket type things there's something called the snorting pole which is a post about twelve feet long you get basically tied to it you get whipped back to the book when the lash begins to take away little bits of hide and the blood begins to run then the sucker begins to jerk and Yelp and snort that's why it's called the snorting Pole when a man is let down after being whipped he has blood on his back and murder in his heart that's that's all about the snorting Pole there's the bat in the paddle there's here's this thing the restraint machine the restraint machine barefooted standing on a cold damp concrete floor backed up to an iron bar door hands behind cuffed to the door a large belt under my arms around my chest pulled tight to the door standing in that position for four hours then let down for one hour to eat my bread and water than four hours more than to bed which was aboard no blankets in the morning bread and water and then for hours more and so on for a stretch of anywhere from 5 to 14 days that was the limit that's your restraint machine if you were okay I know you're claustrophobic right sure yeah I mean you are yeah but sometimes I don't think I'm claustrophobic but sometimes I want to move a limb right you don't I'm saying oh yeah and for instance you're on a plane and you're it's all tight in Economy see up against the bulkhead mm-hmm and there's like it's tight yeah you know that part of the plane towards the back where the the the the bulkhead kind of curves in so you're even losing a little bit more space yeah and you just want to move yeah you know but you can't because the seat belt light just went on oh yeah yes now imagine doing four hours like that for 14 days four hours twice a day for 14 days yes that's yeah that's actually real harsh so there's like to wait and to Sam cuz claustrophobia usually is like you know Ellie you go in an elevator and you feel it that kind you know I don't I don't have it like that but yeah maybe a little bit more sensitive to those kind of side controller phobia well you know I used to yes but this is more what it is to put accurately dial you healed me yeah actually what it was was like he just I just got in better shape that's all because like it wasn't it was the idea that if I'm like tired and I won't be able to get out of here like I'm stuck here forever I'm gonna die here that's the feeling you get but when I wasn't tired of my god no I can cruise down here I just don't know I just felt like it was better the last time we rolled didn't you have a little issue down there no are you sure yes I I don't remember having any issue recently like year it's been years but that's the feeling is what it is so but here's the when I got an MRI on my arm you tapped to something the other day that's not a tapping offense I forget what it was it was your that that forum on my throat remember yeah it was yeah like I couldn't it was too like you did it too hard for me to have the time to figure out okay I can turn this way or what it to relieve the pain you did it like too fast I did it with like a little extra to make a little yeah it wasn't like a strike or nothing like that but yeah it was like I would have got my throat would have got injured if I wouldn't like more time thanks for that by the way I had MRI on my oh my cell on that tube yeah so which is fine if you're just in a comfortable position it can be when you open your eyes and you look how freaky this tube is like inches in front of your face and you're in there yeah I can kind of jam me out but you just close your eyes and be like oh that'll be it's a constant always a big deal in in the SEAL Teams especially we're gonna do cause you had to lock out of the sub submarine chambers which isn't in the old days it was a submarine chamber that wasn't built for seals to lock out of it was built for an escape hatch if there's an emergency on the submarine lockout you're underwater on a submarine yeah and you go into a little chamber and then once you're in the little chamber it fills with water equalized with the outside and then the door opens up and you guys won't know that's that's called a lockout chamber and we used to do that and they're still we still do it but like it's a little bit more of a specialized group that does that now but it used to just be a general thing for a good four if you and the Dames you do that and I mean definitely cuz you're in there with equipment so long a while let me take a lot of time to get a whole seal squad out like what more like what's a while you be in that little chamber for probably 15 minutes at a time but here's the thing you're in there there's two major situations going on number one you're not just in there you're in there with like one or two other guys yeah but you're also doing with equipment yeah bags of weapons waterproof weapons you actually have your boats in there and they're bit so it's all tightened yeah and here's here's what really picked up so the water starts to fill it starts to fill up yes and then as it's filling up it gets to a point where you got to keep it equalized and you're using these little pressure valves one you you basically crank a valve that pushes air into the chamber oh and so that pushes the water down if you're not good then you're gonna mess up the pressure and you know it's called losing the bubble because there's a bubble of air that you're just sitting there breathing yeah if you don't equalize the pressure well then that bubble just keeps going up and then you lose the bubble the bubble is gone which i think is where the that's what I always thought losing the bubble you've heard that term right no okay but someone says oh he's losing the bubble you've never heard that before no well we would say it and I've heard it I've heard a civilian say it too so I'm pretty sure that yeah I think that's where it came from he's like oh you're losing the bubble and I've been in the chamber when someone lost the bubble yeah and I remember I was telling the guy I was like hey you're losing the bubble you're losing the bubble he wasn't about getting them underwater and then you gotta find you gotta find the octopus which is the the regulator of which you have you have air tanks just in there like compressed air tanks like scuba tanks that are strapped to the wall just in case someone loses the bubble and whether you gotta find they got a cam light on or red chem-lights then you just dig deep I'm gonna grab the red come let you find your thing you start breathing and you find the valve and you crank it and then the bubble comes back but yeah yeah you if you're claustrophobic in that situation it's gonna be problematic big time yeah huge yeah cuz it's just lately expression on your face at this time tells me that you would not how big was it how BIG's the chambers see it's smaller than the the area that you and I are sitting right now yeah yeah so my MRI for my bicep I had to go like this like my hand up in the air well you know I'm laying down so it's not up in the but like so you're not laying laying regular one hand is up okay and for 15 minutes in that little teeny tiny tube so like how you're saying I could lay on my bed like that they sedate you or anything huh you just dump it nah yeah this is not a few MRIs in my time but I just relax I went in there yeah I didn't lose the bubble like you do right no no the thing is I did well here's the thing so this is what I really admitted to myself okay I have like a little sensitivity to it um see he's like okay you got to put your arm up cuz it you know and you can't move so I'm thinking man I can just lay it on my bed like this all day I'll sleep like that you know but why am i super like nervous about this so I go in and he's putting me in and I feel my heart just start being real fast I can't full-on mmm I call man but but I mentally pushed through it like the kind after like not am even a minute but maybe like 30 45 seconds I'm like uh you know heck you watch guys cave diving like what do you mean no yes yeah I mean caves yeah yeah we're done underwater but it's an underwater cave yeah and you're diving yeah that can get a little tight yeah so and that we on Kauai this is a place called the Blue Room and it's that and here's the thing so it's basically a cave you walk up this mountain maybe like I don't know 50 50 yards maybe up a mountain you go into anything oh no no the mountain is you okay you just walk up 50 hours then there's a key that's where the cave is and you go in the cave and depending on you know how much it rained or whatever there's a little lake in the cave it's really cool we saw us go at the back of the cave is a little teeny tiny hole teeny tiny oh if the water is too high and it covers that hole it's still a hole but it's not you got to go underwater so at the end of that it basically that hole is a hallway that you swim through you can't touch the bottom it's like you should swim through this little hallway and it goes and it curves this is maybe maybe 20 20 yards Dave and not 20 that's that's me you know maybe 10 mm-hmm mm-hmm in the dark though and the only light is this glowing bright blue light that the water creates from the Sun that shines in the water and kind of reflects up it's really it's really nice but yeah if you have an issue with that especially if the one gets another side what are you it's a big room in now that is open to the light the light from the water lights up the room so it's like it's yeah it's really really that's why you kind of go cuz it's really awesome the thing is there's nothing to hold on to you're treading water in that room so it's like the wrong room is deep water yeah you can touch it's a huge lake in there you know so you can't touch the bottom at all and um but if the water level is high enough where that cave or the the hallway we'll call it it's like this you know where you can just barely do it gets like oh this is kind of nerve-wracking for sure but sometimes it's real knowing it's cool you just swim through but if it's like your first time or you have a little bit of claustrophobia even in water like that you'll it'll Jam you up for sure but I never had a problem with Talan mmm it's that it's what you said when you know you can't move yeah but if you know you can't move also you can just stay there too weird it's like a psychological thing you know yeah well yeah yeah I get that everyone's on the plane to the restraint machine so I guess that would be really effective against some people that have a little claustrophobia or this is American the thing is though okay let's say all these methods are bad right let's say all these methods of reform are bad I feel good about saying that yes okay and then you say okay if I was in that situation I would do everything I could to get out of the scenario where like okay I got arrested and I got put in the restraint machine and I got the the beat with the paddle and I got all those things happen we guess so it you know what I'm gonna do is try and stay clean a little bit right get on then maybe get on a little bit of a path a better path yes yeah it didn't work that all no at all he didn't care yeah well it kind of makes sense that like when What did he say went after the snorting Pole or whatever like oh you just fill out your back yeah you mind oh yeah that seems like because even the classics will be a thing on the on the what's that called the restraint situation for hours every like every session all day you know like perhaps after a while you're like you're gonna get used to that or you're gonna go so nuts that you're just gonna faint or sudden or something like that either way there's a part of your mind I would think I don't know it's just what it feels like listening to it I feel like I would just be so nuts at the end like oh like oh I want to care about that restraint thing I just care about like murdering garrison or something I could see how that could go yeah I mean I guess we could go that way I'll probably try not to go there anymore but that's just yeah so maybe as a reformed or if you cross the line and you make someone snap now you're no longer being productive no this is true with your kids then maybe you haven't experienced this yet but you can go like push your kids to a point where they don't care yeah I'll take this away I'll take this away and then all this and they go I don't care take it they throw their tour you know the toilet is you're threatening they throw it at you yeah hey KITT remember The Breakfast Club remember that movie I do okay remember the part that guy John bender what was his real I forget that does anybody know I'm just trying to play bender is this me guy is what scare the bad guy the bad kid okay yeah and he's really in his leg come he's okay did Barry Manilow raid here or did you betrayed Barry Manilow's wardrobe and he's like I'll give you the answer to that next Saturday saying like you got another detention your next Saturday I mean then he says something else he goes then you get another Saturday and he's like well I'm free to sorry you know he did that he's like I don't care yeah and then he's holding up the horn in two months bender I got two months so yes you can't push it too far and obviously from a leadership perspective we'll just go for a little leadership perspective here there are things you can do to the people that work for you where they won't care anymore yeah and now you now you you're done and you have you lost control of you you've lost control over so don't do that he talks about this electric electric shock do they called the hummingbird first an ordinary steel bathtub with in which four or five inches of ice cold water the victim is laid down in there and chained hand and foot then the chief torturer enters the scene he is dressed in ordinary clothes and and has only a rubber slicker and a pair of rubber gloves on his hands in his hands he holds a common sponge the sponge is connected to electric battery by wires the switch is turned on and the torturer advances on the victim he first begins on the soles of the feet by gently rubbing the charged sponge there and then gradually working his way up to the body and to the head to the sensations of to the victim or that there seems to be millions of red-hot needles sticking into him the agony is intense two or three minutes and the victim is ready for the grave or the madhouse yet there is not a single mark or bruise on his whole body a physician stands beside this is sick the physician stands beside the victim and every few seconds feels the pulse and examines him when he judges that the victim is exactly on the verge of madness or death he gives the signal to switch off the current then the victim is thrown into a cell where he's left for a few days or weeks that's weird the sponge how they put the sponge there yeah like unli thil weapon one you got he got uh Riggs with that yeah yeah remember buddy yes that's what it made me think of when he had this but the sponges in the shower I'll tie it up like that he keeps like it's like him again we have those sponges I wonder what that that's about though the sponge it conducts electricity because it was over water water conducts yeah the direct mark it's just heating you with like a big shock pillow of shock continues on he gets eventually gets out of that prison and any actually broke out of that prison and then he's now he's just on like full crime mode I don't even know what goes beyond crime mode but just full stealing raping murdering swindling he steals enough money he works on a bunch of different boats and eventually steals enough money to buy a yacht so yeah yeah and I don't know what how big the yacht was but it wasn't small and here we go back to the on my yacht I had quarters for five people but I was alone for a while then I figured it would be a good plan to hire a few sailors to work for me get them out on my yacht get them drunk commit sodomy on them rob them and kill them this I'd done every day or two I would get plenty of blues booze by robbing other yachts there the barber too was one of them I robbed her a dozen or so others around there I was hittin the booze pretty hard myself at that time every day or two I would go to New York and hang around 25th Street and size up the sailors whenever I saw a couple who were about my size and seemed to have money I would hire them to work on my yacht I would always promise a big pay and easy work what they got was something else I would take them and their clothes and gear out to my yacht at City Island there we would go and wine and dine and when we when they were drunk enough I would go to bed or they would go to bed when they were asleep out to get my 45 colt automatic army pistol this I stole from mr. Taft's house and blow their brains out then it would take out a rope and tie a rock on them and put them into my rowboat rowboat rode them out in the main channel about one mile and drop him overboard they are there yet ten of them I worked that racket for about three weeks eventually gets on another ship loses that kind of gets people are suspect he goes gets on a ship to Europe from Europe he goes to Africa in Africa he buys a girl I paid a big price for her I bought her from her mother and father for about $8 an American money the reason I paid such a big price for hers book was because she was a virgin yeah so she said she was about 11 or 12 years old I took her to my Shack the first night and took her back to her father's and Shack the next I demanded my money back because they had deceived me by saying the girl was a virgin I didn't get my money back but they gave me another younger girl this girl was about eight years old I took her to my Shack and maybe she was a virgin but it didn't look like it to me I took her back and quit looking for any more virgins I looked for a boy I found one he was our table waiter i educated him into the art of sodomy as practiced by civilized people but he was only a savage and didn't appreciate the benefits of civilization he told my boss and the boss man fired me quick but before he did I licked the hell out of him the boy eleven or twelve came bumming another boy about eleven or twelve came bumming around he was looking for something he found it too I took him out to a gravel pit about a quarter mile from the main camp of the Sinclair Oil Company I left him there but first I committed sodomy on him and then killed him his brains were coming out of his ears when I left him and he will never be any deader he is still there he ends up murdering another six people in Africa on a boat he like chartered a canoe and then kills everyone in it and then signs on to a ship that's heading back to New York that was the summer of 1922 he arrives back in America back to the book in Salem Massachusetts I murdered an 11 or 12 year old boy by beating his brains out with a rock I tried a little sodomy on him first I left him laying there with his brains coming out of his ears went down towards New York robbing and hell-raising as I came in January or February of 1923 I got a job as a watchman at 220 Yonkers Avenue Yonkers New York while there I met a young boy of 14 or 15 whose name was George and who's homeless and was and is in Yonkers I started to teach him the fine art of sodomy but he had but I found he had been taught about it all and he liked it fine I kept him with me and until I left that job of my in April of 1923 the kid George got scared and I let him go home to Yonkers when he got there he told the police all he knew about me which wasn't much but it was enough for the cops to come looking for me they caught me in my yacht at Nyak they took me boat and all my plunder to Yonkers jail there charged me with sodomy burglary robbery and trying to break Jail they're in and out again a few did he gets out a few days later and went to New Haven where I killed another boy I committed a little more sodomy on him and then tied his belt around his neck and strangled him and picked him up where he was when he was dead and threw his body over behind some bushes eventually he does his time he gets trial for the sodomy burglary and robbery pleads guilty and immediately given the limit of the law five years at once I was sent to Sing Sing and then from Sing Sing he gets sent to another person called Dannemora which is a notorious notorious prison says in the book of all the prisons Dana Mora was the one and only this designed specifically to punish and so now this gets really interesting because he's in this really bad prison - then there's a description that's not from him that's just part of the book part of the information in the book talking about Dana Morra and how bad it is there and then he's done all this heinous I mean just heinous acts that he should be killed for over and over again and here he is going back to the book I attempted to escape I failed in my attempt but in doing so I fell about 30 feet to a concrete walk breaking both my ankles both my legs fracturing my spine and rupturing myself in this condition I was carried to the prison hospital where I lay for five days and was carried out and dumped into a cell without any medical or surgical attention whatever my broken bones will not set my ankles and legs were not put into a cast in fact nothing was done except give me a bottle of liniment which I would have done which would have done no good if I had been able to rub it on myself the doctor never came near me and no one else was allowed to do anything from me in that condition I was left for eight months at the end of the time the bones had knitted together so I could stagger around on a pair of crutches so it's like he's complaining about his maltreatment right I got injured and they didn't take care of it's like hey bro yeah you don't get any good treatment at the end of 14 months of constant agony I was taken to the hospital where I was operated on for my rupture and one of my testicles was cut out five days after my operation I tried to see if my sexual organs were still in good order I got caught trying to commit sodomy on another prisoner for that I was thrown out of the hospital and dumped into a cell where I suffered more agony for many months always in pain never a civil answer from anyone always a smaller a curse or a lying hypocritical promise which was never kept crawling around like a snake with a broken back seething with hatred and a lust for revenge five years of my life of the kind the last two years and four months confined in isolation with nothing to do except brood upon what I fought the wrong what I thought was the wrongs that had been done to me not allowed to receive letters or visits from friends when the prison inspectors came to investigate conditions and complaints they were told I was a degenerate that I suffered from delusions that I was insane so they would pay no attention to me or anything that I or anyone else ever complained of this went on for all of my five years and the more they misused me the more I was filled with the spirit of hatred and revenge I was so full of hate that there was no room in me for such feelings as love pity kindness or honor or decency I hated everyone I saw again it's a guy that is he only sees the pain that's been caused to him but apparently doesn't see any of the pain that he's causing anybody else yeah zero empathy yeah zero doesn't it sort of could it seem or could it happen like this with him where you know when he's young he gets beat down mm-hmm obviously not showing much affection mmm that's the assumption obviously but beat down so now he has this hatred so now he inflicts pain on quote-unquote others right because of the hatred he has or whatever so it's kind of like him kind of what getting even for sure lack of a better term so he gets even and then he gets punished for that right obviously because he can't commit crimes like that so he gets punished so now he thinks it's uneven now hey you know yeah it's just the feast not like yes so now he's like oh now that now me being punished for what I did by the way but me being punished is giving me even more hate now I got it you know seek vengeance for that then he does it then of course he gets it and he just keeps doing it so it's like this cycle well there's another cycle here and the cycle is he's blaming everyone else for the situation that he's oh yeah that's all you know I mean every and at a certain point sure let's let's blame that first State Penitentiary that he was in when he was a kid the state school let's put some blame on them okay but you got out of that you had another opportunity to get on the right path and then what do you do you just blame blame blame blame blame and the more you're blaming other people do you put yourself into a downward spiral that he's never gonna get out of obviously yeah and now he's blaming he blames the whole human race I mean let's it's it's real easy just to sort of he only writes about it for three sentences but like oh oh and New Haven I raped and murdered an 11 year old boy yeah like no you don't get any mercy now and you can't blame anyone else for doing that that's no one else's fault you did that yeah but in his mind the overs like you know like when you hate let's say you flicked your friend on the head joking around right you flick them on the head okay then your friends like to be interesting okay that's kind of heart you know so so he'd like flick - yes going super hard you're like hey I didn't flick you and they hit that hard so you smack them you know and it turns into this big fight and who's to blame right yeah both guys feel like hey I flicked y'all just joking you didn't have to flick me that hard the other guy's like why'd you flick me the first but you know kind of thing so and I'm not saying that that's what happened but in his mind that's probably what it feels like oh for sure that's what it feels like for sure that's what it feels like and we all can feel like that at one time or another we think oh it's this person's fault it's that person's fault yeah it's my parents it's the school system it's the whatever it's society yeah right it's society it's every other human being like that's where he's at right now he hated everyone I saw yeah that's where he's at it's like he's the victim and he's the victim and you just just listen - I mean it's so clear when he's talking about all these medical problems that he he's the victim you know he's the victim whereas if he would have just swapped his attitude early on and said okay what about what's happening right now even the first why did he hit why did he get sent to the State Penitentiary Orson state school system because he stole a gun ran away but it ripped it ripped off a family of their stuff like oh if you do that you go to prison but he didn't see that this is fault that wasn't his fault he did that because he was living in a bad home you know like okay at some point you have to take ownership of what's going on in your world yeah and you can't just continually blame other people if you do eventually you know who's at fault everyone in the world but you yeah sure so let's not get there I'll tell you what there's a pretty good transition for when I joined the Navy that's one thing I've talked about how when I joined the Navy it's like a clean slate you don't mean like it doesn't matter what you did and that was a really positive thing for me because all of a sudden and it's a very cause and effect when you're going through like Navy boot camp or in any kind of boot camp any kind of military indoctrination if you don't do what you're supposed to do you get punished for it if you do what you're supposed to do you either a don't get punished at a minimum or you get some type of reward and it's all set up that way purposely but it's very easy it was very easy for me to comprehend as an 18 year old kid going oh if I if I do this right I will be rewarded if I do this wrong I will be punished this is on me and then what you written the next thing that they build on top of that is if I let my team do something wrong we will all get punished if we do things correctly we will receive at a minimum no punishment and possibly some type of reward it was very easy for me to assemble those pieces in my young brain and let's face it when you're 18 years old I mean my brain wasn't all that develops right I mean right like physiologically speaking the the main like what is it the male frontal cortex isn't fully formed until they're like 25 right didn't you tell me that yes yeah so there you go so there I was 18 and I yet was able to figure out okay wait a second if I do this it's on me if I get punished it's my fault if our team gets punished and and again that's a that's a little jump there to kind of bring you through that little phase of like okay we get now you're responsible for you you understand that and once you understand that's like okay now you're responsible for your team mm-hm and some people don't make that transition some people you know it within the team mm-hmm oh it wasn't my fault it was Jimmy's fault yeah right and as you stay in the military longer or as you go in any work force eventually you realize okay if we don't or if I don't work as a team we're all gonna get punished yeah so I needed help the team he's not learning any of this that help is awful back to the book my whole mind was bent on figuring out ways to annoy and punish my enemies and everybody was my enemy I had no friends that was the frame of mind I was in when my five years was up and I was turned loose to go anywhere I wanted to go my intention was to rob rape and kill everybody I could anybody and everybody then he goes through these long kind of plans of putting bombs in inside tunnels and how do we get a gas mask nice Beach Boys and gasps and he was gonna steal so much money and then with this with this bunch of money that he was gonna get from robbing all these people and in this plot that he has with that he says with unlimited funds in my hands I then intended to steal millions of dollars and killed millions of people this I intended to do by starting a war between England and the USA sounds fantastic all right but I'm positive he could have done me he goes through his whole plot of how he was gonna make that happen he was gonna bomb a British ship that was you know like here peacefully bomb it and make it look like America did it what win diplomatic relationships were already strained that was his plan I used to spend all my time figuring out how I could murder the most people with the least harm and expense to myself and I finally thought of a way to kill off the whole town men women children and even cats and dogs and he goes through another big plan about using arsenic and dead hogs and put him in the water spot he goes through like detailed plants now this was some interesting his perception of what it was like he's back in jail again and I forget what for this time but for all this crap that he's doing all the time all these crimes he's committing back to the book the underworld code is very simple it is never squeal don't be a stool pigeon a rat or an informer all crooks want everybody else to believe that they are square cops are the same they all wish everybody else to think they act from principle they're always telling everyone they meet about how much principle they have it is against their principle to do this or that the queer part of it is that they not only want others to believe this but they believe it themselves but the real truth of the matter is that they deceive themselves and mistake policy for principle when crooks are square with anyone it is because it is for their own interest to be so it is good policy when it ceases to be in their own interest to square with another one then it becomes time to change their tactics and they aren't slowing doing it either it makes no difference to them who they snitch on no matter if they have been loyal to each other through a whole lifetime as partners and friends no matter if they send their friends to prison or to hell by way of rope or chair that cuts no ice they are looking out for their own precious skins and this is a guy also that doesn't trust anybody yeah so and that's actually what he said I mean certainly that's there's you can't say that about it you can say that about a lot of people but there's all kinds of criminals that never give up the never never given what's his name's never rat on anybody else and they get the book thrown at them and they take it back to the book every child has this is interesting every child has some criminal tendencies it is your place to correct those traits and teach them the right way to live while they are young and their minds are forming then when they do the reach the age of reason and action it will be quite natural for them to live clean up right honourable lives in that way you will stop crime at its source before it begins as a child a child is very easily led any child if properly taught will live the way he is taught to live all criminals are merely overgrown children it is in your hands to make us or break us we by our own efforts our failures in life simply because we don't know any better we don't know how to live decent upright lives hereditary heredity has very little to do with the shaping of our lives the main causes of why we are what we are is because of our improper teaching lack of knowledge and our environment every man's philosophy is colored by his environment if you don't want us to rob rape and murder you then it is your place to see that the mental and moral misfits are properly taught a sufficient amount of useful and sensible knowledge to put their proper to and put into the proper environment where they can be best fitted to exist in life so there you go the nature-nurture argument panzram all all nurture it's all how you're raised hmm he goes on I was born a normal human being my parents were ignorant and through their improper teachings and improper environment I was gradually led into the wrong way of living little by little from brat bad to worse I was sent to reform school at age 11 from that day to this all of my life has been lived among moral and mental misfits all my associates all my surroundings the atmosphere of deceit treachery brutality degeneracy hypocrisy and everything that is bad and nothing that is good it is unnatural that I should have absorbed these things and I have become what I am today a treacherous degenerate brutal savage human devoid of all decent feeling absolutely without conscience moral pity sympathy principle or any single good trait why am i what I am I'll tell you why I did not make myself what I am others had the making of me everyone else's fault and I am NOT in the power to control it right I mean at this point he recognizes what he is but he doesn't make any effort to reform himself yeah yeah it's kind of those two like even with extreme ownership right when you're working with a team when you say it's easy to blame others and especially when it is their fault at certain times it's like their fault that this happened that happened it's like a philosophy right it's like an approach it's a certain approach where you say okay you know whatever it's their fault that this happened or whatever it's really hard to come up with a situation when you're a leader of a team and it's the team's fault yeah I haven't been able to come up with one lately yeah yeah so and to say it's maybe you can no I don't see what I'm saying is it is well okay we'll go with this guy against a guy on Twitter yeah he said hey man why you even all this hate to the machine-gunners shooting outside their field of fire because I use that example a lot yeah hey the machine gunner shoots up outside his field of fire yeah that's the machine gunners fault right no and I said to him hey man I don't hate machine gunners I hate the officers to blame the machine gunner when machine-gunner doesn't know where you're supposed to be shooting yeah that thought machine gunners fault yeah that's your fault boss yeah so so continue on about the situation so I this is like a typical little thing that I'll hear from people looks like wow you know sometimes I take ownership yeah that's what you think you're wrong okay yeah okay yeah I dig it but not and because because right now I'm not saying about whose fault it is and that's not that's not the point I'm trying to make it's more that he's right it is because of them like they or the way his parents raised him did cause him to be like this it caused him to be like this didn't cause him to be hit like it didn't like his parents raising him didn't umph make him you know sodomized that kid or whatever he didn't they didn't make him do it but their raid the way they raised him caused him just cause an effect straight-up caused him to be like that I'm gonna I'm cold now it's his fault yes it's his fault that he's doing all these things you know cuz you can just not you can not do it that's possible to just not do it that day or at all whatever so yeah as far as fault and blaming yes okay you're going Sam Harris free will on me well the thing is I mean I guess what I'm saying is like if you don't go and lack of free will yeah lack of free will no well not necessarily and I'm just basically isolating the blaming part of it and then the cause and effect part of it you know kind of thing because in that case he's he's right like there what he's saying is correct as long as he's not saying and it's their fault and it's not my fault I'm not you know he is saying that I'm yes okay so push that aside he's right and I'll make myself what I am others had the making of me to everyone else's fault you got I'm like yeah that's that's no but go caused an effect on them here's my point here's my point because this is not this is a gray area right from the gray area here's the problem if he looks at it if he only lens that he looks at it through is this is everyone else's fault and he's not to blame then guess what he's not gonna make any changes if he had a little bit if he just looked at the situation and said you know what all these things happened but some of this is cause of me some of this is because the actions that I've taken and I can now change my behavior so I don't stay in this mode of operating right now that's the difference and he never makes that change he never makes that that different he never sees it that way the only thing he sees is that it's everyone else's fault and when you this is the thing he goes you can see it gradually increases he's he's going from like oh I just hate this teachers and and I just hate the the wardens and eventually he hates everybody because it's everyone else's fault yeah even people he doesn't even know because they're a member of the human race he hates them yeah that's why personal responsibility so important to teach the kids yes sir it's so important to teach the kids and that's one thing I think I learned I mean obviously I got some of it from my parents but it was really crystal clear in when I came when I came in the military because it's black and white that the gray area is gone when you go through some kind of military indoctrination the gray area is gone you mess this up it's your fault you're gonna get punished for it mmm we still get guys right that oh for sure drill sergeant is writing me or what or you know Billy should have done this Jones should have done that it's like okay but it doesn't matter okay the man back to the book I have only a little knowledge but I have as much intelligence as the average person and I know I was taught wrong I could have been taught properly and if I had been I sure feel I would have led a far different life than I have done you are to blame more so than I just straight up you he's talking to us talking to general human the race of human beings that's my belief if you are going to go on teaching others as you have taught me then you suffer the same as I here we go he is at this point on trial and this is from like it I think this is one of the ones from a newspaper clipping or a report but it's another part this is so this isn't pants Rams Journal this is some of the additional information back to the book on the stand pan Rams eyes slid toward the table where his pistol and burglar tools lay prosecutor Collins whispered to an assistant who hurried over and removed the exhibits to a safer place the arms of the witness chair disappeared under pans Rams huge hands as he faced the jury ignoring everyone else in the courtroom you people got me here charged with housebreaking and larceny on guilty I broke in and I stole what I didn't steal I smashed if the owner to come home I would have knocked his brains out panzram eyes took on this strange depth as he watched the jury there's something else you ought to know while you were trying me here I was trying all of you to I found you guilty some of you I've executed if I live I'll execute some more of you I hate the whole human race he said evenly a juror gasped pans Rams round heads suddenly swung toward the prosecutor who looked alert and suspicious you think I'm playing crazy don't you I'm not I know right from wrong no delusions I don't hear anything you don't hear my conscience doesn't bother me I have no conscience I believe the whole human race should be exterminated I'll do my best to do to do it every chance I get the courtroom was now numb as panzram turned to the jurors once more now I've done my duty you do yours so he gets a long prison sentence and when he gets into prison he actually kills a one of the civilian workers there in prison like a guy that just was a like a maintenance guy who runs the laundry and he's has a beef and kills him and this is where we started this is one of the letter so I talked about the guy Henry lesser who was a guard in one of the prisons he was in who formed a relationship with her and he actually says a couple of times that this is the only guy that like didn't try and take some from I think it the whole thing started off a game like a dollar to buy cigarettes or whatever and no one according to him no one had ever done anything nice for her panzram in his whole life and this this guard was the first guy to do it so he develops a relationship with him and so they go they write letters back and forth and here's the excerpt of one of those many letters back to the book the real truth of the matter is that I haven't the least desire to reform very much the reverse of that is true I would not reform if the front gate was open right now and I was and if I was given a million dollars when I stepped out I have no desire to do good or to be good I'm just as mean now as I can be and the only reason I am no worse is because I lack the power and the proper opportunity for meanness if I had the power and the opportunities then I would soon show you what real meanness was you overlooked the fact that the law and a great many people have been trying their damnedest for 25 years to reform me I am tired of having people try to reform me what I want to do is reform them and I think the best way to reform him is to put him out of their misery it took me 36 years to be like I am now then how do you figure that I could if I wanted to change from black to white in the twinkling of an eye another letter same theme I have no desire to reform under such conditions this would be required of me the way the laws of this country are today I do not care to live any longer if I must live in prison I would far rather die and go to hell if that's where people like me go after death I've very thoroughly considered this matter and I assure you now what I say is the truth I have confessed 21 different cold-blooded premeditated murders hundreds of cases of cases of arson burglaries robberies rapes and other crimes the law has by this time looked him up and verified the truth of my various confessions my philosophy of life is such that very few people ever get and is so deeply ingrained and burned into me that I don't believe I could ever change my beliefs the things I have done to others the things I have had done to me by others and the things I have done to them can never be forgotten or forgiven either by me or others I can't forget and I won't forgive I couldn't if I wanted to the law is in the same fix my belief is that the life without liberty is not worth having if the law won't kill me I shall kill myself I fully realized that I am not fit to live among people in a civilized community I have no desire to do so if I had any choice in living any longer the only way I would consent to do so would be to get clear out and away from all civilized people I am so set in my ways that I cannot adapt myself to the ways of other people so that the only way for me to do would be to live by myself without any human companionship whatever he actually describes this island that he kind of spent a little time on when he was down in South America then he said send me there if you wanted to send me somewhere goes back so now he'd killed that other guy wonky the civilian now he's going to trial for that murder and this is a newspaper report of that trial back to the book the Commission heard the hard-boiled giant tell of the fun which he received in killing a man and there isn't a man in this room I wouldn't kill the cruel visage Steele eyed man told the Commission I'm mad plenty mad right now I don't believe there's any good in any man I'd like to have the opportunity to go away gain power and brains and then I'd like to kill off the rest of the world the convict said dr. Perry asked the giant if he believed himself better than the rest of mankind he'll know was the reply I've checked up on myself lately and I know that I'm probably worse than the rest of you I have no desire to live if you would hang me my troubles would be over and I would be better off but don't you fear Hellfire a member of the Commission inquired you haven't been able to prove to me that there is such a thing panzram answered the man boasted in court of killing 21 persons and vowed that when his parents were his parents living he would kill them quote for bringing me into the world there are two things in this world that count as powerful money and knowledge if I could get enough money I would buy brains because brains are for sale I could get a brainy chemist and I would have them prepare me a lot of poison gas and germs with these I would be able to exterminate a great mass of human beings then I would kill myself society should build a great monument because I have never propagated my kind so that's what his little excerpt before his trial was like this you know he was done I mean he just did not care back to the book and this is the book itself the court convened again the next morning and the judge having been given no alternative by the hard rural jury looked down at the defendant and pronounced him guilty with no mention of life saving phrase without capital punishment panzram had nothing to say concerning the sentence Hopkins then ordered that he be remanded with to the care of the warden at the federal penitentiary penitentiary at leavenworth they're to be confined until the fifth day of September when between the hours of 6 and 9 o'clock in the morning you shall be taken to some suitable place within the confines of the penitentiary and hanged by the neck until dead the judge then announced the 90-day interval to allow for any bill of objection and appeal before the defense attorney could speak panzram said swiftly I don't want any attorney to file for a new trial or appeal anything I am satisfied with the verdict so while he's now on death row there's a like a delegation of people that are against capital punishment and they start fighting to get him off death row hmm and he writes them a letter here's a little part of that letter on February 1st 1929 I began serving this sentence at the US Penitentiary at Leavenworth Kansas on June 20th 1929 I murdered one man a civilian employee of the prison by the name of warnky and at the same time in place I also attempted to murder a dozen other men both guards and convicts the only reason I did not kill them was also because I couldn't catch them if I give if I'm given another trial or if the death sentence should be commuted to life in prison and either in penitentiary or an insane asylum it will be against my will and then he goes on to try to explain to them because he doesn't want them to think that he's crazy because if he's crazy then he's not he's gonna get it's you know insane asylum or you know reason of its and back to the book I shall try and convince you that I'm quite sane at this time I am at this time 38 years old a big powerful man strong in both body and mind my physical fitness is not as good as it one once was but my mental facilities are unimpaired in anyway I've never used drugs of any kind or any type I am I am and always have been a very moderate drinker of liquor practically a total abstainer I've never taken any disease of any kind which would have the tendency to weaken my intellect I have never been addicted to any habits of sexual excessive of any kind over which I didn't have complete control of myself I choose to die here and now by being hanged by the neck until I'm dead I prefer that I die that way and if I have a soul and if that soul should burn in hell for a million years still I prefer that to a lingering agonizing death in some prison dungeon or a padded cell in a madhouse I do not believe that being hanged by the neck until dead is a barbaric or inhuman punishment I look forward to to it as a real pleasure and a big relief for me and not feel bad or unhappy about it in any way every day since I received that sentence I felt pretty good I feel good right now and I believe that when my last hour comes I will dance out of my dungeon and onto the scaffold with a smile on my face and happiness in my heart another reason why I believe this sentence should be carried out is because I believe it is justice and I am quite sincere when I say that this is the first and only time in my life of battling with the law that I ever did get justice from the law one other thing I am going to tell you before I stop this letter and that is this the only thanks that you or your kind will ever get from me for your efforts on my behalf is that I wish you all had one neck and that I had my hands on it I would sure put you out of your misery just the same as I have done with numbers of other people I have no desire whatever to reform myself my only desires to reform people who try to reform me and I believe that the only way to do reform to people is to kill him my motto is rape Amal Rob Amal and kill them all I am very truly yours carl panzram another letter I think it was the next to the last letter that he wrote to lessor Henry luster he says I had no choice about coming into this world in nearly thirty nearly all of my 38 years and it have had very little to say and do about how I should live my life people have driven me into doing everything I have ever done now the time has come when I refuse to be driven any further so again I've just done I've only done what I've done because of what other people have done to me mm-hmm that's not on me zero responsibility everything I've ever done is because of other people ever ever it's a slippery slope that you just tried to step on up a couple minutes ago yes it is actually in he's thinking about it aren't you yeah and but I'm not wrong because I'm not talking about the blame I'm talking about cause and effect but here's the thing though cause and effect it's kind of like it's easy to start blaming you know you caused this I'm saying technically split hairs but technically there's a difference my point is if you have the Addison's I mean I work with people all the time and this is the the most important transition that people make in their brain is whether you're a business leader whether you're talking about your personal life whether you're talking about the family whatever you're talking about the transition that you make from doing what you're saying right now which is like well it's actually their fault if that's in the back of your mind okay if that's in the back of your mind like okay the problem is it grows I mean the problem is you use that the problem is next thing you know it's not just that their fault it's this that's their fault and it's the other thing that's their fault and it's my team's fault and they say and I it's not my fault yeah yeah the I mean just to be clear though I'm not saying the fault part of it the fault fault and the blaming that part of it literally has nothing to do with it are you saying cause and effect they're two different things there's look but put it this way okay and I said but kind of say this as a joke where I don't know let's say I did something right and then I'd be like well it's not my fault it's you know my parents fault for having me oh but it's their fault they're actually it's a grant my grandparents fault for having them oh no it's the you know my great-grand you know you start just blaming every little factor that contributed to this result every little factor good who's it so basically to kind of break that apart it's like yeah if my parents didn't have me this wouldn't happen it's true it's true but the thing is you can't just start point blame as far as the signing blame goes I'm not assigning blame if I'm saying hey this is a factor or whatever as unless I'm doing it as a joke you see them saying okay so it's like okay so if one you do cross the line to start assigning blame mm-hmm that's when you can't be like okay it's everything else do you got to blame yourself but it let's say you're not assigning blame you're just maybe analyzing it from an objective perspective soon saying you can identify all kinds of causes all kinds of causes seem soon and they're probably true okay but not having anything to do with causing play or or assigning blame or saying whose fault it is seems a jerk okay it's just a another example of how like you are we whatever when I talk to you a lot of them sometimes all you will take a scenario and I'll just sort of marvel at different working parts of this scenario like oh isn't it interesting how this is this and this is this but you could do this and look at it this way too even though it has nothing to do with me you know and it has nothing do you think kind of actions to be taken or nothing like it's essentially just analyzing the scenario and being interested in it versus you you always look at the scenario like okay yeah cool that's cool you analyze it but what do you do you know your attitude is real real take action kind of kind of approach so I think that's where I think that's where we're getting some some misfires soon same you think that it's like I want to base some action to be taken upon the way I'm looking at it when it requires no action it's just the way to sort of look at it you know but if you want to take action like okay so who do we blame that's that's the beginning of taking action in a way who do we blame what do we gotta fix who do we gotta fix whatever to move forward to fix the situation to you know whatever rectify it then you gotta be like okay I gotta identify the problem that I can change and then yeah in that case then yeah that problems gonna be yourself it's the best way and if it's not then you're not gonna solve anything yeah I'm just gonna sit around blame people yeah what does that make sense maybe I don't recommend it yeah yeah and again even that was saying I don't recommend it that's like it's super indicative of just like yeah you don't recommend that as a problem-solving technique that's it that's it take action approach right there I'm saying it's kind of like if we came to a stoplight and then this stoplights red I'm like wow isn't that red stoplight super nice like it's a beautiful color red and you're gonna be like yeah like but it means to stop so we're stopped I'm like no I know but isn't it kind of beautiful then it turns green Wow isn't that a beautiful green light and you're like yeah but it's it means to go I'm gonna cool but it's a pretty nice shade of green soon same see I'm saying it's like two different perspectives yeah and then of course you'd roll through the green light you know I'd go get after all right well leave that one at that all right obviously the attempts to save carl panzram worse and here's how his life ends according to this book at Leavenworth the lights of the isolation had burned into a pale gray dawn on September 5th when panzram heard the distant distant rattle of footsteps it was not quite six o'clock guard Maillard went over to the steel door leading to an outer corridor and peered through the small barred window warden White's voice was heard and the guard turned a brass key in the lock the door swung open white entered the isolation at the head of the procession of some twenty persons including guards and newspaper reporters immediately behind the warden was marshal McKeever McKeever and the tall government hangman carrying the leather harness over one arm white stopped in front of panzram cell the spectators pressed themselves discreetly against the opposite wall as panzram faced them searching through the wire mesh with his hostile eyes he saw two men in clerical garb on the fringes of the crowd and at once began to roar at white are there any Bible backed cocksuckers in here I thought you might change your mind white apologized these gentlemen came a long way to offer you comfort get him out shouted panzram I don't mind being hanged but I don't need any Bible back to Hippocrates around me run him out warden or you'll have one hell of a time getting me out of this cell every man I get a hand on is going to the hospital white new panzram was within a condemned man's traditional rights regarding witnesses of his own execution the disappointed clergyman were escorted out all right panzram said let's get going what are we stalling for white motioned the guards and news men to proceed to the exercise yard as bollard opened panzram cell panzram helped his escorts faster the fasten the their corset anything you want to say ask the hangman fumbling with a strap panzram snapped impatiently yes hurried up you Hoosier bastard I could hang a dozen men while you're fooling around in the yard the newsmen took hurried notes the scaffold looked strange and somehow unexpected do glistened on the boards that had the raw temporary look of a structure erected for a County Fair in less than a minute the back door of the isolation opened and panzram was emerged between Ballard and the hangman panzram was almost running ahead half dragging the taller his taller escorts white and the marshal hurried behind trailed by officers trying to look dignified as they ran in the confusion the spectators parted into two lines as they procession as the procession raised pell mell in their direction pans Rams face was rigid and looked straight ahead his eyes fixed on the Rope only at the foot of the stairs that he seemed to notice the transfixed onlookers he paused looked slowly around and spat twice then his face was forward again everyone's nostrils inhaled the sweet smell of new oak and hemp and everyone's eyes followed him up the 13 steps which he felt with his feet he hurried up the gallows as toward the gate pulling Ballard and the hangman with him reporters who had witnessed this event were surprised by its swiftness and their accounts were in conflict as to the time and exact detail there was uncertainty as to whether panzram and been able to spit on the executioner as he had promised he would the reporters notebooks Hyde hung limp during the swift adjustment of the rope the exploding sound of the opening doors and the swift downward stroke of the body later they recalled the mist which had settled on the yard and the indistinct figures of guards watching from a tower on the wall the prison had been quiet the first Bell was not yet scheduled to ring for an hour reporters had left the same way they came in and were relieved to find themselves outside the walls records of official entry regarding the death of carl panzram are brief dr. Justin K fuller one of the two doctors Intendant stepped forward and to the stretch body underneath the gallows placed a stethoscope gently on the chest and palpitated the neck later he dictated his report to a prison clerk medical certificate of death carl panzram i hereby certify that i examine the body of carl panzram in accordance with the directions of the Surgeon General of the US Public Health Service and Attorney General at u.s. penitentiary Leavenworth Kansas on September 5th 1930 and pronounced him dead at 6:18 a.m. I found the cause of death to be dislocation cervical vertebra strangulation legal execution and so ended the life of carl panzram on September 5th 1930 and while panzram died evil as we see certainly did not die with him it still walks among us today and as we've been going back and forth on obviously panzram did not get many benefits in life but that does not excuse his actions and we are responsible for what we do we are responsible for our lives and if someone's had horrible things happen to them if they've seen horrible things if they've done horrible things it's still important that you don't become those horrible things that you don't propagate those horrible things instead be the hero be the savior that absorbs those things those horrible things and passes on good and you do that you do that by treating people with respect and being just kind to other human beings and it's it's one of those things that I thought about this one character this this Henry lesser this guard is the first person that that panzram ever thought did something nice to him and who knows if that had happened earlier maybe it could have been a teacher at the state school me that's what tips someone towards the good you know are you that person can you be that person that sways someone from doing evil to doing good simply through some sympathetic words some compassionate gesture think about that might be that person I might be that person we might be that person that sets the good example by being nice by being kind and here's the dichotomy at the same time you gotta be strong enough to stand up to people that think might makes right you got to be strong enough to face the malevolent force of evil and you have to recognize that that force is everywhere that that satanic force that is waiting to prey on the weak then if we don't fight it then that force is gonna win so we cannot stand down and I think that's all I've got for tonight kind of a rough one yes it when you think about it this is like this is pretty psycho like pretty psychotic same way so you know evil for sure but I don't know if it was just the way he it is the it is I do know it's the way he presented it was like it wasn't like is tragic is I don't know the other stuff that well then I've heard let me take a part of it he wrote it and he became humanized in your head so you were listening to him talk yeah and you were sympathizing with him and you were understanding the harshness that he went through and you were completely detached and not you didn't humanize any of the victims at all right yes that's what it was opposite of the beginning when I'm talking about this beautiful girl Louisa yes and what she went you know you understood her go watch some of the videos of that girl yes like of like just such a nice person yeah like just like an angel and that's what you relate to so as a as a person yourself as a human being yourself it's very easy for you to get for you to humanize someone right to view to you listen to carl panzram you see what he's been through he's telling it from his perspective and all these time eleven-year-old boy you don't know anything about that boy right just some arbitrary arbitrary thing doesn't even barely exist it's a word boy that's all it is but it's not yeah it's not yeah a little kid yeah that's a little kid you know that's exactly it that's exactly what it was you're going through his struggles and sure he's not putting off yeah and you know he's talking about his anger and everyone in your life okay bang that's you know he's he's a mad guy and sure I'm not you know I'm not siding with him but it's it's more like you're just getting it from his perspective you know then he dies and you're like well you deserved it yeah yeah but if yeah if they told that the whole story of like I don't know any one of the any one of those victims be like dang man this is heavy it's dark and he's sort of like he didn't go into any kind of graphic detail you just be like good I commuted sodomy in fact I was like bro how are you even doing that you're just I just sorta committed tried to commit so I do you do that you know you just hey come here let me commit sodomy on you I mean I don't know that's not like 200 pound dude against an eleven-year-old boy yeah but even like the you know his inmates or whatever their everyone who's just yeah and the point is there he just sort of delft well he's preying on the weak he says all the time he's just picking a guy that's 132 pounds yeah but yeah just 200 pounds yeah six feet 200 yeah you know he was I don't know what the what the deal is but like where I grew up in New England the houses like the ceilings are lower and the doors are smaller because people were smaller yeah back in the day and this is a hundred years ago but or whatever ninety years ago but a people a little bit smaller you know so him at six-foot 190 is kind of like a yoked dude yeah plus with all that you know years of hard labor going in an 18 pound hammer yeah you know you were strong yeah but he just sort of breezes over it though you know there's no graphic details just sorta yeah I just committed some bad crimes yes so that's why it's always good to think about the perspective of the other people yeah it's crazy man it's crazy but you know and yeah he could have he should have he should have chose the path that's what he should have done okay you said yeah you said that well more important I think because you're gonna have some people out there they're gonna choose the wrong path they're not they're not gonna go they're not gonna go in a good direction and that's why it's important to be prepared mentally and physically to stand up and face that man it's true you got to speaking of which yeah take some jujitsu I'll tell you right now you take from jujitsu you really decrease the probability of any one yeah attempting sodomy on yes that is a big help reduce yes you know Oh anyway what that means is we're doing jiu-jitsu regardless of our par what we're trying to defend ourselves from jiu-jitsu versus evil that's what I'm saying yes it helps if you yes you need all your tools to fight against evil yeah big ten there's evil in the world confirmed yeah fully live evil in the world right now he's crazy everyone small I'll flash it'll flash in my mind how the valuable jujitsu is like if someone said hey you can you can never go to the beach ever again or you can never do to you to affair again saying oh you you might have some issues no I just think that's funny how like the two biggest things you can put on the best beach in jiu-jitsu just say you got to give up one yeah the beach isn't even on my list I mean other than it go surfing but we're just going to the beach for you as a thing for me it's not really a thing yeah yeah well put it this way like I probably could I trade al I'd give up a lot to keep jiu-jitsu if it was in yeah here's something ready if you know some jiu-jitsu if you know some jiu-jitsu if you know more jiu-jitsu than most other people around you that's a real beneficial thing yeah it can you and it's funny because if you don't know anything you're little bit ignorant in fact you're a lot ignorant and you don't even know what you don't know and so you're sitting in your you're walking across a parking lot right and it's ten o'clock at night when someone comes to bother you and you think in your mind like I'll just do this and this and you don't know anything it's a complete it's a complete hole in your game and the game of life is what I'm talking about it gave me life yeah if it is if you know jiu-jitsu and you're walking across the ten o'clock at night and someone's gonna give you a problem you actually know what to do yeah and and the person that doesn't know anything they're so far just behind it's crazy I remember in college where and I knew how to do a rear naked choke and like you know just from watching you'll see one yeah never trained at actual jiu-jitsu class but I remember in college I got into this like fight right and we ended up not fighting fighting but you know the kind that we started to fight right and but it was nothing you know it was it a friend no okay music was it a known person or just a total random yeah it was like at a party scenario no I didn't know um and you know whatever it doesn't matter what how you got broken up whatever when we continued you know our lives but right now I'm thinking back to like how much I didn't know like what was I even thinking like what was I gonna do this sort of throw punches you know or something like this like what like even when you do get in a fight and you don't really know any especially you need you just do this like men you just sort of it's sort of a crapshoot really mmm compared to if you know jujitsu it's not a crapshoot it's like oh I'm gonna user decide to do whatever I want kind of thing to this person if you want to if you don't train jiu-jitsu and you want to know what it's like picture anything that you actually know how to do like shoot a basketball mmm or play basketball you know and picture someone that never played before playing against you you know that's what's gonna happen yeah if you don't know anything or like say you go find someone if you ever can find someone who doesn't know how to ride a bike or skateboard yes not who knows how to write its keeper but a bike and say hey let's race to the end of the block on this bike and that person doesn't even know how to write they've never been on a bike yeah they have zero chance of it's like that anyway sure so train some jiu-jitsu train some take some classes Brad just go ahead and go learn how to ride that bike right you right now right now in America you can change it to in so many different places it's amazing yeah it is very amazing there's amazing places to train jiu-jitsu so go train some jiu-jitsu yeah and when you do so you want to do key and nogi so when you get Aggie what gear do we get we all know you don't already or Jinky mm-hmm go to origin me.com they got rest guards on there as well joggers as well sure it's supplements supplements of course and that's a good one to wear and I took your advice you know okay remember I told you like oh yeah I didn't take joint warfare for like days and you're like what why not cuz I just don't know I forgot or whatever you do here's the thing I admitted something to myself sometimes when I didn't back then and when I didn't take it it's not that I forgot it's just that I'd be like I'll take one tomorrow or something like them literally I was literally too lazy to just go in the pantry right here not by the way like three four feet away yeah get it open it put it in your routine now yes and this is how I put it into my routine I was like there's no way I'm gonna be able to accept the fact that I'm too lazy to spend literally 20 seconds literally and you know and take some pills yeah it's like no way I can accept that you're glad I'm not trapped in your brain I'm kind of an I guess a little bit for at least two hours a week I'm a little bit after your bread well you're the one who's correcting it because I'm like no way cuz you're like dude just do it in your routine and you make it sound so easy cuz it doesn't feel that easy but then I'm thinking like wait it is that easy really I'm just not allowing it so you put it by your toothbrush or whatever no I keep it on the bench Ebro 15 seconds oh but you just do it just do it yeah dude yeah very little extra anyway check join warfare krill oil these the ones that I've been talking about that are in my routine every single day mm-hmm joint all situations discipline which if you don't know we have a new flavor of discipline out it's called Tropic Thunder yep I got mine and look what let's let's be real and let's be honest what what it is you know his pina colada but I couldn't have something out there called betta colada come on man wait Tropic Thunder isn't that a movie yeah yeah late baboon's favorite movie of all time no actually I don't but it's right up there they've quotes that movie a lot I'll tell you right I haven't seen it you haven't seen Tropic Thunder definitely I know what movie I did Phil I think Robert Downey jr. right yeah but the most important character and there's Tom Cruise's character he's really really funny less anyways so we couldn't call it in clear conscious we couldn't call it Pina Colada that's just wrong right yeah not happening it's an alcoholic beverage we're not doing it it's kind of a kind of a fufu is that good word kind of love fufu I do you ever been to an Italian restaurant or like where they where it's real it's real nice it's too nice like they don't have like hey can I just get some chicken parmesan over here and when they bring you some food it's really small like name yeah in a different language but you know they put extras on the name you know you know fresh cloth from the appellation blah blah blah in the title you know it's like that kind yeah but there's never very much food the longer the title the less food you're gonna get yeah probably that's that's a good rule so couldn't go Pina Colada to foo-foo we went Tropic Thunder for Life Babb and you get his tropic thunder on it's pretty fun and then don't forget about Moke reg additional protein additional protein and slash dessert yeah because it will fulfill your desert desire yeah well you get done with the ribeye steak so what's the game like when you you know when you're going to when you lift weights to illicit games right you have to have a syringe with a Z you gotta eat what certain amount of protein yeah it's like 0.7 or 0.6 yeah or just one gram yeah but here's actually what I learned with the one gram any protein like any macro they eat too much of and get to turn to fat and protein proteins think it's turns to sugar first from what I understand so you can't eat too much protein is I usually much to protein if you're going like 2 grams per body weight per pound of body what about 9 grams per byte per pound of body I think that's fine so here's a good way to do it so in the morning I make an omelet right with egg whites mm-hmm and there's good protein clean whatever some of the best but when you kind of if you're starting to which I kind of started to measure these things or keep track of okay how many cam I really so realize it's not that much protein in a regular size even a double size egg white omelet with no cheese in it so boom you make your egg white omelet mom train going on the side make your milkshake boom perfect all milkshake perfect amount of protein just what I'm saying if in fact you're into you know getting stronger and what not yep and on top of that we got warrior kid milk which is basically gonna take over all milk drinks for children in the very short period of time because everyone wants their kid to be healthy yeah the kid wants to be healthy and strong and the kid wants something that tastes absolutely amazing so there you go warrior kid milk yeah remember like back in the day what was the Hawaiian Punch or was that only in Hawaii called Hawaiian Punch tasted like hey are English muffins over English muffins aren't in England it's not a British thing yeah just like french fries aren't and friends all right they call them like pommes frites something else French anyway you know what I'm saying you used to drink the Hawaiian Punch when your little mouth already tasted pretty good yeah well this is super strong yeah but you can't be giving your kids that like now with the knowledge that yeah it's like a nothing really it's chilled child abuse yeah and it's not just that these regular chocolate milk what is that it's just corn syrup in milk yeah that's all it is and chocolate yeah and chocolate and sugar but we get kid warrior kid mole guess what you're making them stronger smarter faster better and it is good and it tastes delicious because kids don't want to drink something that tastes like crap no they don't drink something tasty so yeah where your kid milk all that stuff that we just talked about is that origin main calm if you want to support that's a good stuff American made throw that in there like it's a no big deal yeah go watch some of the videos of of looms being remade good also if you want to represent while on the path jock with a store it's called Jocko store so you go to chuckles store calm was wreaking it shirts and whatnot discipline sure rash guards plenty yes other rash guards on there truckers hats or flex fats there whatever one you want I like the flip flex it I'm putting I'm gonna put a bunch of new stuff on there a bunch 2019 it's 2019 by the way Happy New Year yeah brother yeah thanks is it funny like you I felt like you felt kind uncomfortable telling me happy yeah kind of like it is to like sentimental hey Happy New Year we all work to do let's go focus alright new year new gear new me you know got it I think anyway oh yeah I'm gonna put a bunch of new stuff there for this year okay cool you can also get chocolate white tea that comes in either a regular tea form like I'm drinking with tea bags or the can form like echoes drinking with the can and the good thing about it is it's the only beverage in history or world that's guaranteed a hundred percent to give you an eight thousand pound deadlift that's eight thousand pounds don't forget to subscribe to this podcast click Subscribe it's so annoying okay just skip this part the warrior kid podcast that one you should check out if you don't check out the warrior kid podcast or whether you have kids or not check it out lots of good lessons and from Uncle Jake so do that and then don't forget about your war your kids soap and it's not soap for warrior kids it's soap made by a warrior kid Aiden who's got his own business and I wish Oakes ranch calm what's that like earth made birds made what the soap well he gets like goats I give you you want you want to know the source layer of yours oh yeah there you go it look locally sourced yeah it's not local technique where you are but nonetheless mean in America that's true ok so YouTube you can also subscribe to the YouTube channel which is the Jocko podcast YouTube channel and our since you're putting all this new stuff on the store you're gonna put some new videos up at some point in the you know America history America yes sure yes I am thank you okay I knew you were just telling me about one yeah you've done this before will you tell me about a video and I never see it for four months well because like what and this one could be one of those cuz it like I'm gonna be like pushing it you know remember the warpath one yeah you know I pushed it in the music and okay should I make a bunch of things crumbling down is that gonna be dumb let's go we're gonna find but in the process of doing that sometimes I'm like this is kind of dumb so I gotta change it so I'm gonna see I wish it just out of fun but yeah okay I'm gonna try how about that more more videos and also we got psychological warfare which we have failed we were going to get out that for the new year we did not accomplish that so that's not good but we will work on it and the current one is available psychological warfare on iTunes Google Play mp3 platforms of all kinds where you can get little messages will call from me tracks about how to overcome a particular weakness that you might be dealing with in the moment I've thought about this with psychological warfare sometimes like when the weakness creeps in we don't like want to fight the weakness it's liked it yeah yeah like we're like it's almost like okay this is me you might not be able to relate because you get mad when you feel like weakness sometimes weakness will like creep in and I'll look forward to not lift you know or like okay so there's this burger place all right I'm gonna say which one and to go to this burger place a certain burger you can get that's like off the program you can't oh okay it's not a diet burger yeah so what I you know when you're like oh should I just stick to the program but I'm really in the mood for this burger right and the weakness creeps in takes hold and then you made the decision all right hey I'm gonna slip on the diet right now I'm back on the plan I'm black I'm back on the program tomorrow but I'm gonna slip right now when you make that decision in your head you feel good like oh I don't want to change my mind cuz I was so looking forward to the burger zoom saying so it's like one of those things where the reason sometimes people won't list or actually this has never happened to me but I'm imagining the pee if someone doesn't want to listen to psychological warfare it that's why because it's like they secretly they don't they accept it and it's like you know and they accept the weakness yeah this again reminds me that I'm glad I'm not trapped inside your head for more than two hours it's a daily strong nonetheless like a lot cheaper it's a good one it helps yeah it helps you got a brain you got to accept the hell you have to do is press play yeah that's the point you gotta good that's what you have to press play you got it there's a little psychological part that you have to accept the fact that you're gonna you're gonna get a spot it's like in the gym right when you need a spot in the gym you don't put on some light weight you know you get a few up regular weight on you don't need a spot and cool but you gotta make the decision to put the heavy weight on there and then you gotta make the decision to go find someone to spot you that part is hard for people that's what I think that's what anything but once you get the spot and got the spot right you're nearing no danger of getting buried underneath that that man seems saying check that's what psychological warfare is can we get it on what Amazon music and iTunes Apple music you know wherever they sell mp3s that's where you get them like that Corvettes good one very good on also vary up your workout men get some more workout stuff from on it calm go on it calm slash Jocko that's Rica they've got some good stuff on their ropes battle ropes maces clubs kettlebells of course the best kettlebells I mean I'm the best I've ever used I haven't used that many but I don't even want to try out any other ones because they're the best in my opinion and yeah a lot of good stuff on there a lot of good tips on there as well and information you know on it calms my chuckle good spot also got some books miking the Dragons is out it's live and we should not ever run out of it again I printed a lot more so if you want miking the Dragons for you for your kids for your neighbor kids for your library for your school order Mike in the Dragons it is a story that will teach your kids and all children that read it how to stand up and face their fears it's so cool to see all the pictures yeah people post of like oh yeah I got my keys but you know for Christmas and stuff like that also a lot of kids you know this is my kids favorite book you know this is now my kids favorite book that's pretty cool so super stoked if you haven't read it check it out miking the Dragons you can get her on amazon also weigh the warrior kid and weigh the warrior kid to Mark's mission and good news I had a deadline of finishing way the warrior kid 3 by New Year's Day guess when I finished it this morning yeah New Year's Day I had to go and finish it before I worked out because I was at my deadline guess what prioritize so your deadline my dad okay yeah my deadline to finish the book good so yeah so that'll be coming out but right now get get way the warrior kid and way they work it to Mark's mission those are both out discipline equals freedom Field Manual I know a lot of folks grab that for Christmas appreciate it appreciate most that you're spreading the word to people that you know a little gift give someone the gift of discipline that's what I'm talking about if you want the the audio version it's not on audible it's on Amazon music iTunes Google Play and other mp3 platforms of course we have extreme ownership which was recently made some kind of chart for the audiobook life life babban and I read in the audiobook well me and the Texas Batman I'm reading the audiobook and we also read the audiobook for the follow-up to that book which is called the dichotomy leadership which I kicked off today with a tiny little excerpt that's the follow on book and I think yeah some people think it's better interesting it makes sense that it is because now we've written more books and a little more experience to learn more so find out for yourself dichotomy a leadership that one's available you also got national enfant that's our leadership consultancy we solve problems through leadership that's what we do if you need help with the leadership at your organization and if you have any kind of issue whatever kind of issue you have it's a leadership problem it's not a problem of HR it's a leadership problem it's not a problem then the finance department it's a it's a leadership problem it's not an operational problem it's a leadership problem the problem that you have in your organization is a leadership problem if you need help with that go - loan fraud front comm for details also we got the muster the muster is now live we got Chicago we got Denver we got Sydney if you want to come to the muster Leadership Conference extreme ownership calm all of the musters have sold out and all the musters will sell out so if you want to come get there early I think there's maybe a ticket or two left for the live podcasts that we are recording January 9th in New York City if you want to come to that try and jump on and buy a ticket real quick because it's real close to sold out look forward to seeing they're also EF online so we just launched this what this is this is an online interactive leadership training source it's myself and the rest of the Echelon front training team put this together want to be able to reach more people some of you know this kind of spawned from organizations that we work with where they have tens of thousands or even in some cases hundreds of thousands of employees and they wants to train everybody on the fundamental principles of combat leadership obviously with our six or seven instructors we can't do that and so we had to figure out a way a way to scale the educational process and so what we did is we went to virtual and so we put this together and once we made it we said well listen we made it we're making it direct-to-consumer as well so if you want to check that out you can go to EF online.com EF online comm and speaking of EF EF overwatch this is where we are connecting proven leaders proven combat leaders from the spec ops community and from combat aviation with companies in the civilian sector that knee these experienced leaders to step up and lead their organization so EF over watch.com is where you can get involved with that whether you're someone that's looking for talent you can click on talent seeker or whether you're someone of that that's looking for career click on career seeker and fill those out we are standing by to help you and if you want to cruise with us kind of hard we can be found and communicated with on the interwebs on Twitter on Instagram and on the fish ah echo is at Echo Charles and I am at Jocko Willie can finally thanks to all our military personnel out there thank you for standing up and taking the fight to the enemy and to our folks at uniform in uniform here at home including police and law enforcement and firefighters and paramedics and EMTs and the correctional officers and Border Patrol and all the first responders thank you for standing up to evil here at home and to Louisa Jess Pearson and Marin Yulin who were murdered in Morocco we will remember you and to the despicable savages that took your lives we will remember you too then we'll remember those like you and we will never surrender to the evil that you bring into the world we will stand up we will be strong and we will win and until next time this is echo and Jocko how

Channel: Jocko Podcast

Views: 61,960

Keywords: Discipline, freedom, military, extreme ownership, leadership, advice, jocko willink, echelon front, navy seal, jocko podcast, excerpt, echo charles, leader, lead, win, convict, railroad, hobo, panzram

Id: pILRCfi0LiU

Length: 138min 6sec (8286 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 02 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Trombley7]

This was a rough one.

[u/ajsimz]

I still have no idea where Echo was going with the cause and effect vs assignment of blame around the 95-98 minute mark. If anyone can concisely summarise what he was saying, that would be rad.

[u/27phoenix]

Damn.

[u/volsurf]

Absolutely brutal.

[u/Killing__Time_]

Damn. Is this one rough? I almost started listening to it but I have to admit I got scared.

[u/sawdust47]

Where did direct download of mp3 file go? On ep 157

http://jockopodcast.com/2018/12/26/157-when-to-play-the-game-when-to-break-the-rules-ultimatums-making-co-workers-shape-up-coping-with-loss/

you can download the mp3. On this episode, those download links are not there. Hope this is just a coding error...

[u/Davinci451]

I don't think I could finish this one, its making me sick to my stomach. Yes its good to know evil exists but I don't think its mentally healthy to get so familiar with it.

[u/BillyBattsShinebox]

A truly disgusting person, but wow, what a horrible life that guy led. Even though he was a piece of shit towards everybody, it's shocking that not a single person ever did a nice thing for him until he was a grown man in prison (the guard who gave him a dollar for some cigarettes). I really doubt myself/the vast majority of people would turn out nearly as bad as he did if we grew up in his shoes, but I bet most of us would be a hell of a lot worse people than we are now.