Jesus‼️🤣 Christians React to George Carlin — Religion is Bullshit | WOW🤣

we're gonna perpetrate cuz history April be dancin Hatake we knew who was more doing at the top you made the same hey what's going on guys and welcome back I'm back and we are all the other fire family and if you're not already with the elephant family I'm gonna need for you to hit that subscribe button make there ya go [Music] I'm still dealing with a little bit of a headache but I'm good I guess so today we are checking out some more comedy oh yeah guys you see that little red box below the video with the little white writing in it that says subscribe guys I need y'all to hit that like I really need y'all to hit that a lot of y'all you know watch the drinks and don't hit it and he trying to hit that bang bang and look below this video you'll see other ways were support the channel we got merged we got pure bronze we got these other things alright guys without further ado we bout to check out some George Carlin the name there's the name of the react reaction song the name of his bit is called religion is bull sugar honey iced tea I had back in the day but I nothing that I can remember only because in my demographic people running alongside him were you know black comedians that I pay attention to so I didn't really um seek out any of his stuff but a lot of people in like bill birnes section when we checked our bill Berg who was awesome and on Instagram and they hit me up saying I should check out some George Carlin if I like bill burr so that's what we're gonna do so yeah let me know what y'all think without further ado but in the bullshit Department in the bullshit Department a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman cuz I got to tell you the truth folks I got to tell you the truth when it comes to bullshit big-time major-league bullshit you have to stand in awe in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims religion no contest no religion religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told think about it religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day and the invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do and if you do any of these ten things he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish the way he breaks it down I can't wait for it I can't wait you okay I'm fine I thought he was gonna take this in a different direction when he was like there's a lot of crap surrounding religion there's a lot of crap surrounding like what happens in the church I believe that but I'm talking about like the full system of like God we don't have to take this in a different direction for me to be able to be of these 10 things he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever till the end of time but he Jew [Applause] he loves you and he needs money he always needs money he's all-powerful all-perfect all-knowing and all-wise somehow just can't handle money religion takes in billions of dollars they pay no taxes and they always need a little more now you talk about a good bullshit story holy shit [Applause] but I want you to know I want you to know something this is sincere I want you to know when it comes to believing in God I really tried I really really tried I tried to believe that there is a God who created each of us in his own image and likeness loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things I really tried to believe that but I got to tell you the longer you live the more you look around the more you realize something is fucked up something is wrong here war disease death destruction hunger filth poverty torture crime corruption and the Ice Capades something is definitely wrong this is not good work if this is the best God can do I am NOT impressed results like these do not belong in the resume of a Supreme Being this is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude just between you and me in between you and me in any decently run universe this guy would have been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago you know what and you know what he's making a lot of sense he's making a lot of sense only because religion is supposed to be faith-based its supposed to be covered all in one scripture which is Hebrews 11:1 that says faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen so even if there's a whole bunch of stuff that's BS in front of you the whole subject of the matter what religion is that you believe that the faith is big as long as you got faith in this being that's not here is you're gonna get everything that he tells you you can have and that's the hustle that's that's the hustle I'm telling you we are from that that's how that's our thing but he's making a lot of sense I'm sorry I'm listening to this objectively so I'm hearing exactly what he's saying yeah I mean for somebody who you know doesn't understand or like didn't grow up and in still doesn't I mean I don't have to go up in it to believe but after you know taking in everything that comes with like that religious aspect and believing in God and all the other stuff it's understandable how you could see it I guess from this perspective I'm trying to be I because I firmly believe looking at these results that if there is a God it has to be a man no woman could or whatever cut things up like this if there is a God if there is I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent and maybe just maybe doesn't give a shit doesn't give a shit which I admire in a person and which would explain a lot of these bad results so rather than be just another mindless religious robot mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit I decided to look around for something else to worship something I could really count on and immediately I thought of the Sun happened like that overnight I became a Sun worshipper well not overnight you can't see the Sun at night the next morning I became a Sun worshipper several reasons first of all I can see the Sun okay unlike some other gods I could mention I can actually see the Sun I'm big on that if I can see something I don't know kind of helps the credibility along you know so every day I can see the Sun as it gives me everything I need heat like food flowers in the park reflections on the lake the makasian skin cancer but hey at least there are no crucifixions and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us Sun worship is fairly simple there's no mystery no miracles no pageantry no one asked for money there are no songs to learn and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing and the better the best thing about the Sun it never tells me I'm unworthy doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved hadn't said an unkind word treats me fine so I worship the Sun but I don't pray to the Sun no why I wouldn't presume on our friendship it's not polite well often thought people treat God rather rudely don't you asking you know trillions and trillions of prayers every day asking and pleading and begging for favors do this give me that I need a new car want a better job and most of this praying takes place on Sunday his day off and it's no way to treat a friend but people do pray and they pray for a lot of different things you know your sister needs an operation on her crotch your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall but most of all you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store the one with the eye patch yep what foot do you pray for that I think you'd have to and I say fine pray for anything you want pray for anything but what about the Divine Plan remember that the Divine Plan long time ago God made a divine plan gave it a lot of thought decided it was a good plan put it into practice and for billions and billions of years the divine plan has been doing just fine now you come along and pray for something well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's divine plan what do you want him to do change is plan just for you doesn't it seem a little arrogant it's a divine plan what's the use of being God if every rundown schmuck with a $2.00 prayer book can come along and fuck up your plan and here's something else another problem you might have suppose your prayers aren't answered what do you say well it's God's will thy will be done fine but if it's God's will and he's gonna do what he wants to anyway why the fuck bother praying in the first place see my a big waste of time to me could just skip the praying part and go right to his will it's all very confusing so to get around a lot of this I decided to worship the Sun but as I said I don't pray to the Sun you know who I pray to Joe Pesci Joe Pesci Joe Pesci two reasons first of all I think he's a good actor okay to me that dude's second he looks like a guy who can get things done Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around does he fuck around in fact in fact Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with for years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog Joe Pesci straighten that cocksucker out with one visit it's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat so I've been praying to Joe for about a year now and I noticed something I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci are being answered at about the same 50% rate half the time the same way that's the same way people test out religions think about it okay today I'm gonna go to seventh-day adventists tomorrow go to our Methodist tamam go to apostolic Episcopal Church you know I mean it's like I mean I Baptist Catholic you know everybody okay I'm down with being a Christian I'ma be Muslim now everybody is testing things out so he's doing the same thing look Joe Pesci Joe Pesci is my guy you're testing it out and like the confines of like religion you're bouncing around to different denominations that's understandable this is bouncing from I guess religion so putting some type of faith in a human being this is like a very we perspective which is not like bad huh this is it Faro because a lot of people go to church put all of their face in the pastor who was a man and that's what I'm that like when he was saying religion is bullcrap I thought you didn't talk about the church because there are lots of problems in the church but I never heard it from I guess this perspective so it's it's interesting I'm not gonna say like it's wrong get some weight like I want half the time I don't same as God 50/50 same as the four-leaf clover in the horseshoe the wishing well and the rabbit's foot same is the Mojo man same as the boudu lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goats testicles it's all the same 50/50 so just pick your superstitions sit back make a wish and enjoy yourself and for those of you who look to the Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities I might suggest a couple of other stories for you you might want to look at the Three Little Pigs that's a good one that's a nice happy ending I'm sure you'll like that then there's Little Red Riding Hood although it does have that x-rated part where the big bad wolf actually eats the grandmother but I didn't care for it by the way and finally I've often always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty the Potter like the best all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again that's because there is no Humpty Dumpty and there is no god none not one no God never was in fact I'm gonna I'm gonna put it this way if there is a god if there is a God may strike this audience day everybody's okay pay up I'll raise the stakes I'll raise the stakes a little bit if there is a God then he strike me dead see nothing happen uh wait a little cramp in my leg and my balls hurt plus I'm blind good luck oh now I'm okay again must have been Joe Pesci god bless Joe Pesci thank you all very much special that was busy already know what I'm the title isn't everything it's gonna be amazing I want to know what y'all think about this in the comments below and if you haven't subscribed already please hit the damn subscribe button on your way out to dough once again i'm there and we are all the elephant family we'll see y'all in the next one piece'

Channel: LFR FAMILY

Views: 625,249

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Id: XtQvMNUZhnI

Length: 17min 26sec (1046 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 01 2020