- Hello Saddleback. Have I told you lately that I love you? You know, I wanna
encourage you to take out your message outline right now, 'cause this is gonna be
a very useful message that I know is gonna help you a lot. So pull out your message
notes wherever you are. Now, the reason I'm speaking
to you from the farm is because I'm doing
something this weekend that I hope every one of you will do before the end of the year, and it's this, I want you to plan a getaway
with your small group. We have, I don't know, thousands, 7,000 plus small groups
at Saddleback Church, plan a getaway with your small group on a day or a weekend,
just go away for a day, or if you can't go away for a weekend, plan something fun
together, plan a retreat. Believe me, after the
last nearly two years of limited fellowship due
to the COVID-19 pandemic, you need to plan a getaway
with your small group and have some serious
fellowship and some serious fun. That's why I'm modeling
it for you this weekend, so I'm away with my small group that we've been together almost 20 years. Now, for most of you, I
doubt that your schedule is as busy as mine is, and I don't want you to use busyness as an excuse for not getting away. So if you've got the desire to
do this with your small group and you make a commitment to do it, you'll figure out a way
to plan a fun getaway and a spiritual retreat
with your small group. That's by the doctor's orders this week. Now, this week I want us
to continue with part five of my series called strategies
for stressful times, specifically, we're gonna look at how Jesus personally handle stress. And I want you to see what I call Jesus' seven secrets of resilience. Now, maybe you've never thought about it, but the Bible says that
we are to look to Jesus as our model for enduring tough times. The Bible says we were to look to Jesus as our model for Him during tough times, we're to follow His example of resilience, and we're to follow His
example stress management, and the Bible says it this way, if you've got your notes there, right at the top of your
outline, Hebrews 12 says this, verses one to three out of
the New Living Translation. "Since we are surrounded "by such a crowd of witnesses
to this life of faith, "let us strip off every
weight that slows us down, "especially the sin that so
easily hinders our progress. "And let us run with endurance," Underline that. "Run with endurance the race
that God has set before us. "We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus." Do you see that? "We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, "on whom our faith depends
from start to finish. "Jesus was willing to die a
shameful death on the cross "because of the joy He knew
would be His afterwards. "And now He is seated in
the place of highest honor "beside God's throne in heaven. "Think about all He endured." That's what we're talking
about this weekend, resilience. "Think about all He endured "when sinful people did
such terrible things to Him, "so that you, so that you don't
become weary and give up." Now, what does that verse
and passage tell us? Nobody experienced greater
stress than Jesus Christ. He experienced enormous pressure, He was criticized constantly, He was misunderstood, there were constant demands on His life, He had little privacy,
and there were people who were trying constantly to kill Him. I doubt that's true of
you, but that's stress. And yet, when we look at
the life of Jesus Christ, we look at His ministry, we see that He walked and He lived with an amazing peacefulness. No matter how difficult
the situation became, He modeled a calmness and a resilience in the
face of outrageous demands. And this is why the Book
of Hebrews advises us to keep our eyes on Jesus. And that's what we're gonna do today, we're gonna watch His
example of endurance, we're gonna learn His
secrets of resilience. And today I'm going to unpack Jesus' seven secrets of resilience. And you're gonna need this, so I wanna encourage you to take notes. Now we learn these seven
secrets of resilience from Jesus' own words. Let's get started. The first secret of resilience, when you're under stress
is this, write this down, remember how much God loves me. That's the first antidote to stress. It's the first secret of resilience, it is the principle of compassion. Jesus had no doubt in His mind that God the Father loved Him. He talks about it over and
over and over and over. Just one verse on your
outline, John 10:17, "The Father loves me." "The Father loves me." Now, knowing and remembering that God loves you unconditionally, and God loves you extravagantly, and God loves you continuously, and He will never stop loving
you, that is the foundation, that's the first secret, the
foundation of a resilient life. As Paul says in the Book of Romans, "If God's for us, who can be against us." Okay? Who can be against us? We are resilient because we know that God will never stop loving us. Now, I know what you're thinking, that of course, God loves
Jesus, He's His Son, but did you know that Jesus said the same thing about you too? Yeah, in John 15:9-10,
it says this, Jesus says, "Just as the Father has loved
me, so have I loved you. "Now remain in my love, and
if you obey my commands, "you will remain in my love." That I've talked to you many, many times, about how much God loves you because it is really the basis
of your personal security. If you're not convinced
that God always loves you, that He loves you
unconditionally, completely, instantly, continuously, that
He never stops loving you, that you can't make Him stop loving you, if you don't really have this foundation of God's unconditional love in your life, you're gonna be easy pray for the disapproval of other people, you're gonna be a people pleaser. And how much does God love you? Well, look there on your
outline, 1 John 3:1 says this, "How great, how great is
the love of the Father "that He's lavished on us "that we should be called
the children of God." And that is what we are. So the first key to resilience
is to build the baseline that God will never stop loving me. Jesus knew it, you need to know it. Number two, the second key that
we see in the life of Jesus and you need this for your
stress resistance is this, remember who I am. Don't just remember that God
loves you unconditionally, remember who I am, This is the principle of identification. Now, why is this important? 'cause if you're not
sure who you really are, you're gonna be whipped around
and manipulated and molded by the pressures and the problems in the other people around you. When you have a confused identity, when you have an unclear identity, when you don't really know who you are, it makes you more prone to stress. Why? Because our culture will
try to fit you in it's mold, it's gonna make you into
what it wants you to be. And until you settle this issue, first, God loves me unconditionally, second, I know who I
am, I'm a child of God, you're gonna be prone to stress. Now we know that Jesus
never had any doubts about His identity, He
knew exactly who He was. In fact, 18 times in Scripture, He publicly defines Himself 18 times. These are famous statements called, the I am statements of Jesus. The I am statements of Jesus. I've listed just a few of
them there on your outline, Mark 14, John 8, John 14, John 6, many different places, Jesus says, "I am," and then He fills it in. "I am the light of the world. "I am the Son of God. "I am the way, I am the
truth, I am the life. "I am the bread of life." Over and over He defines Himself, He knew exactly who He was. Why is this helpful in handling stress? Well, in John 8:18, Jesus
says, in other words, "I testify to my own behalf." I don't need other people
to tell me who I am, I know who I am. I don't depend on the opinions
of others to validate myself. Do you do that? If you depend on the opinions of others to validate yourself, you are prone to stress, and you certainly aren't
resilient to chronic stress. The fact is, if you
don't know who you are, other people will decide it for you, they'll force you into a
mold, they'll create stress. You'll end up pretending,
you'll end up faking it, you'll end up wearing a mask, you'll end up trying to be a man or woman that you're
not really who you are, you're who everybody else wants you to be. And that's called stress. Stress happens when you try
to be something you're not. Doesn't matter if it's for
the sake of your parents, or the sake of your boss,
or the sake of your spouse, or the sake of your boyfriend, doesn't matter who you're doing it for, you're gonna be pressured
and you're gonna be stressed and you're not gonna be resilient. Now you say, well, of course Jesus knew He
was the light of the world. Of course He knew that, but did you know that Jesus
said the same thing about you? He said the exact, He said, "I'm the light of the world." But in Matthew 5:13-16, Jesus says this, "You are the light of the world." He says, "You are the salt of the earth, "and you are the light of the
world, don't hide your light." Do you realize how
special God says you are? There's nobody in the
world exactly like you. When God made you, He broke the mold. Just like God doesn't make
two snowflakes the same, God doesn't make clones of people. Even identical twins are different in thousands of different ways. There will never be in
the history of humankind someone like you at all. You're unique, and you need to know that God
loves you unconditionally, and you need to know who you are. Now, identity, this issue of identity, this is the second principle,
the principle of identity, when you don't know your identity,
it increases your stress, and it comes out two different
ways, comparing and copying, comparing copy. Comparing, when you say, well, I'm gonna compare
myself to everybody else. God says, don't do that. And copying others, we
all began as originals, but we end up as carbon
copies of other people. God does not want copies of anybody, God does not want clones, that's why He only created one of you, God wants you to be you. And when you get to heaven,
God isn't gonna say, why weren't you more like Moses? The point is, you must be comfortable, become
comfortable with being you. You must accept your strengths and you must accept your
limitations and your weaknesses. You must accept the truth about you. When you do that, this second principle, the principle of I know who I am, you'll have a lot less stress, all right? Now here's the third secret of resilience that we learn from looking
to Jesus as our model, I know that God loves me, I know who I am, here's the third thing, know
who I'm trying to please, know who I'm trying to please. In other words, know
who you're living for. Now, this is the principle of motivation, you need to know what is
your deepest motivation. If you don't know that, if
you haven't figured it out, you are prone to get stressed. What motivates you every day? You see, mixed motivation are
a third great cause of stress. Jesus said, "No man can serve two masters." There's third cause of stress
is trying to please everybody. The truth is you can't. You get crowd A pleased,
crowd B ticks off, get kissed, ticked of. If in the bath time you get crowd B happy, crowd A is upset again. Did you know that even God
can't please everybody? Somebody's praying for it to rain, and somebody's praying for it
to be sunny on the same day, somebody's praying for some team to win, and others playing for
another team to win, or this guy to get elected, and somebody else's
praying for somebody else. You know, as a pastor, I have learned that for 42 years I'm always
disappointing somebody. Why? Because everybody has
different expectations, okay? They have different expectations. The Bible says the fear of man is a trap. It will capture you, it
will cause you to stumble. That's why Jesus says in John 5:30, "I'm not trying to do what I want, "but only what my Father
who sent me wants." I know who I'm trying to please. Now, if you're not trying to
please God, in all likelihood, you're trying to please a bunch of people. It's a whole lot easier to say, I'm just gonna focus on pleasing God and let the chips fall where they may. Because if you please God,
it'll always be the right thing. If you don't please God and
you're trying to please others, you just get stressed out
with what this person wants, that person wants. This was the third reason Jesus
was so stressed resistant, He was only trying to please one person. Notice there on your outline, John 8:29, "I always do those things
that are pleasing to Him." And if you're pleasing God,
it's always the right thing. It also simplifies your life 'cause I don't have to worry about am I pleasing everybody else,
I'm just trying to please God. Jesus never let approval over that matter rejection control Him. He lived for an audience of one. As I mentioned earlier, Luke 16:13, "No man can serve two masters." You can't please multiple audiences. He focused only on pleasing God. Now this is what you need to do if you wanna be resistant to stress and if you wanna be resilient
when you get knocked down, Galatians 1:10, Paul says, "I'm not trying to be a people pleaser!" This is Paul. "I'm not trying to be a people pleaser! "No, I'm only trying to please God. "If I were still trying to
please people,' he says, "I wouldn't be Christ servant." I love that in the New Living Translation. One of the biggest myths that will make you miserable is this, I must be loved by everybody
in order to be happy. That's just not true. You don't need other people's
approval to be happy. But lemme ask you, right now, whose approval are you depending on for your happiness? Who are you still trying to please? Somebody been trying to
please unpleasable parent and they've been dead for a while. You know, we love to blame
other people for our stress. I have to do this, I must
do this, I can't do that. The truth is, nobody's
holding a gun to your head. You're not a victim, you are
as free as you choose to be. Nobody can pressure you
without your permission. That's why the third
secret of resilience is know who you're trying to please. Jesus said, I know who
I'm trying to please, I'm only trying to please my Father, I'm not worried about anybody else. That's why we're looking
at Him as our model. Now here's the fourth
thing that Jesus did, here's the fourth secret of resilience and resistance to stress. I need to not only know God loves me, I need to not only know
who I'm trying to please, I need to not only know
that God has called me, that's the fourth thing,
I know my calling. If you wanna be resistant to stress, you need to get alone with God
until you know your calling. I must know exactly and believe exactly what God has called me to do with my life. Now this is the principle
of vocation, vocation, and until you clarify this and it becomes crystal clear in your mind, you're gonna be more prone
to getting stressed out. But when you know what
God's called you to do, you know what God has called you to do, you also know what God
has called you not to do. In other words, when you're
sure of your calling, you know what your business, but you also know what's
none of your business. And that simplifies life too. Jesus knew exactly what
He was called to do. Here's the fourth thing,
in John 8:14, He says, "I know where I came from
and I know where I'm going." To me that sounds like
a purpose driven life. "I know where I came from
and I know where I'm going." He lived a purpose driven life. If you were to look up the
word drive in the dictionary, it means to guide or to
control or to direct. When you drive a car, you guide, control,
direct it down the street. When you drive a nail with a hammer, you guide, control, direct
the nail into the wood. When you drive a golf ball, hopefully, you guide, control,
direct it down the fairway. Every life is driven by something. Some people are driven by guilt, some people are driven by fear, some people are driven by
the pressure of others. You're going to be guided through life by either pressure or purpose. Lemme say that again. You will be guided through life by either pressures or purpose. And that's why this is, know your calling, know your purpose. We have a whole series of classes on this at Saddleback Church. And when you know your purpose, then you determine what's important, the purpose or some
people's idea for your life. But what am I saying to you this weekend? That the direction of your
life, it's your choice, okay? As I said, nobody's
holding a gun to your head, and by clarifying your
calling and go, you know what? God shaped me in a
certain way, that means, whatever you're shaped to do
is what you should be doing. But when you know your shape and you know what God's called you, then you can avoid the tyranny
age (mumbles) are the agent. And until you clarify your calling, you're gonna be controlled by others. How many times have you already
learned that God loves you and everybody else has
a plan for your life? (laughs) James 1:8 says this, "A person who has doubts "is thinking about two different
things at the same time, "they can't make up their
mind about anything." The Bible says, you're wishy-washy when your purpose isn't clear, when your calling isn't clear. And that's why Paul says in Ephesians 4:1, "I urge you to live a life worthy "of the calling you have received." Everybody has a calling, not just missionaries or
pastors or church leaders, everybody has a calling. Some are called to be pharmacist, some are called to be accountants, some are called to be a school teacher, some are called to be cab drivers. Each day you need to ask, am
I moving toward my purpose? And that leads me to the
fifth principle of resilience that we learn from looking
to Jesus as our model. And here's what Jesus did, number five, focus on what matters most,
focus on what matters most. Now this is the principle
of concentration. We've talked about, you know, motivation, and we've talked about, you
know, the compassion of God, this is the principle of concentration. And what I mean by this is when you know where you're
headed and you focus, then you're not distracted
by less important things. It's a matter of priorities. You know what matters most in life and you focus on those things. As I said, everybody has
a plan for your life. You know what I've discovered? That if Satan can't get you to do wrong, he'll just wear you out
with too many good things. Yeah, yeah. There are a lot of good
things you shouldn't do. Did you know that? Jesus was a master of concentration, He was a master of focusing His life, He focused His life like a laser and He refused to be distracted. Lemme show you some verses, Luke 9:51, here's an example of this principle. "As the time drew near
for His return to heaven, "Jesus moved steadily onward "toward Jerusalem with an iron will." That's the Living Bible. What does that mean? He had a goal, He knew what His goal was, He knew He was going to die in Jerusalem, He's persistent, He's
determined, He's focused. He focuses, He's clarified His priorities. Paul's the same way, Paul says, "This one thing I do." Paul didn't say, these
40 things I dabble in. That's what we do, we dabble in 40 things. This one thing I do. If you want your life to count, if you want your life to have impact, focus is the name of the game. You know, you have incredible
spiritual potential, but the barrier is often, you haven't really settled
what's most important. Now I don't really have time to serve God. I would rethink that one. Okay, I would rethink that knowing that one day you're gonna stand before God and He's gonna say, what did you do with what you were given? You know, some guys gave
that same excuse to Jesus, Lord, let me first go do something
else before I follow you. And that phrase, let me first, that's always the problem, me first. You can't say, Lord, let me first, Lord and me first are contradictory. Jesus said in Luke 9:62, "Anyone who lets himself be distracted "from the work that I had plan for him," God has planned a work for you to do. "Anyone who lets them be distracted "from the work I plan for him "is not fit for the kingdom of God." The older I get, the more I realize selection is the name of the game. Lots of opportunities, lots of option, but the key to effectiveness is selection. 1 Corinthians 10:23 says this, "We're free to do anything, "but not all things are helpful, not all things are profitable, "not all things are
wholesome or constructive "to your character and
your spiritual life." I love that, the way it's brought out in
the Amplified Translation. What is he saying? Some things aren't necessarily wrong, they're just not necessary. That's one of the keys to resilience, it's one of the keys to stress resistance. And here's the sixth secret of resilience that we learn from looking
to Jesus as our model, this is a big one, number six,
spend time alone with God. Now this secret of resilience and this secret of stress resistance may be the secret that you do the least, spending enough time alone with God, and yet is absolutely essential to building a resilient spirit
in managing chronic stress. It is the principle of meditation. You know, prayer is a
great stress reliever. It's a decompression
chamber, it's cathartic, is one of the ways to unload your burdens. The Bible says in Luke 22:39, "It was Jesus' habit." Notice this on your outline. "It was Jesus' habit to go to
the Mount of Olives to pray, "and His disciples followed Him." Circle the word habit. How do you develop a habit? Well, a habit is something
you develop through practice and through reputation. It's not a habit unless you
do it over and over and over. It was His habit to go
to the Mount of Olives. He would leave the city of Jerusalem, go across the valley to the
Mount of Olives and pray there. Now, this next verse says, "In the morning while it was still dark, "Jesus got up, left the house, "and went off to a solitary
place, where He prayed." Do you have any time
like that in your life? You need quiet times to renew,
to reflect, to recharge. I wanna challenge you on
this principle of resilience, study that Jesus was convinced of the fact that no matter how busy He was, He took time to get
alone with God and pray. In Luke 5:15-16, we have a
good example of it, it says, "News about Jesus spread even more, "and crowds came to hear Him to be healed, "but Jesus often slipped away
to be alone so He could pray." Now circle the word often,
often means frequently. If Jesus felt the need to
frequently leave the crowd and get alone with God,
how much do we need that? You know, I would say as a pastor, the larger Saddleback gets, the more I find myself
personally seeking solitude. It was the famous
philosopher Pascal who said, most of our problems,
man's problems come from our inability to sit still. Psalm 46 says, "Be still and know that I'm God." Sit down and shut up. Would you agree that noise is a stress? Well, lemme give you a suggestion, start your morning with
God instead of your phone, instead of TV, instead of radio, set your mood with the good news. Colossians 2:7 says, "Plant your roots in Christ." Do that every morning. "Plant your roots in Christ "and let Him be the
foundation for your life." Now there's one more secret of resilience that we learn from looking
to Jesus as our model, and it's this, number seven, it's what I'm doing this weekend, get a small group for support. Get a small group for support. You know, the first thing Jesus did when He started His ministry? He formed a small group. You see, you were never intended to handle stress by yourself. If I were to ask you to
complete this sentence, if you want a job done right? You typically say, do it yourself. That's the motto of a
perfectionist headed for burnout. If you want a job done
right, do it yourself. You can't do every job by yourself. Now, if anybody had a right to say, if you want a job done
right, do it yourself, if anybody had a right to
say that, it was Jesus. And even Jesus knew the power of having small group for support. And in Mark 3:14, it says, "He chose twelve." That was His small group. "Designated them apostles
that they might be with Him." That's the point for small group. He gathered a small group
before starting His ministry. You know, so much of our
stress friends is self-imposed. We get uptight when we
think it all depends on us. It doesn't. God hasn't called you to be the general manager of the universe. Here at Saddleback Church, this church outgrew me
decades ago, decades ago, I could never do it all by myself. From the very start my goal
was to give the ministry away, even preaching and that's why
I have other guest preachers 'cause I think you need to hear God's word from more than just one voice. God never meant for the church to be a one man superstar show, even Jesus needed a
small group for support. You remember that when He went to the garden of Gethsemane before the cross, in Matthew 26:38, Jesus
said to His disciples, "My soul is over overwhelmed with sorrow "to the point of death." That's severe stress. And here's His antidote. "Stay here and keep watch with me." Even Jesus needed people to pray with Him, even Jesus needed the
support of a small group when He was in a crisis. Why don't we accept
help from other people? There's a couple reasons,
insecurity and pride. And it is insecurity,
it's our own insecurity and our own pride that we
don't accept help from others, so we stay stressed out. The fact is, there are people who are in this church
family waiting to help you, waiting to support you,
waiting to encourage you, waiting to assist you if you'll just be humble enough to ask. Here's the secret, join a small group. If Jesus needed one, you need one. And the fact is, stress is
increasing in our culture, so you have to take these
seven intentional steps to counteract it. It's not gonna go away, your life isn't gonna get
less stressful by accident, it only is gonna get less
stressful, more manageable, and you're gonna have greater resilience if you choose to do these seven
things that Jesus modeled. Now, I wanna close by
reading again the passage that we started with in Hebrews 12:1-3, listen to it again in
light of the seven things that I gave you as a model from Jesus. Here's what Hebrews 12 says. "Since we are surrounded "by such a huge crowd of
witnesses to the life of faith, "let us strip off every
weight that slows us down, "especially the sin that so
easily hinders our progress. "And let us run with endurance." You've needed that the
last 18 to 20 months. "Run with endurance the race
that God has set before us. "We do this," He's gonna give us the answer. "We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, "from start to finish. "Jesus was willing to die a
shameful death on the cross "because of the joy He knew
would be His afterwards. "Now He's seated at the
place of highest honor, "besides God's throne in heaven." Then it says this, "Think about all He endured." When you're thinking you're
going through a tough time, think about all what Jesus endured. "When sinful people did
such terrible things to Him, "so that you don't become
weary and give up." You know, I remember many years ago, this is gonna date me
when the long awaited fourth installment of Schwarzenegger Terminator
movie series came out. The fourth of the Terminator movies was called Terminator Salvation. And I remember reading an online review of this many years ago and
the review said this, quote, "In Terminator Salvation, "most of humanity has been wiped out "by a nuclear holocaust, "a grownup John Connors is
fighting with the resistance, "his adult life is
certainly purpose-driven." Now that caught my attention,
this is a movie review. "His adult life is
certainly purpose-driven, "and this rebel with a cause "has the weight of the
world on his shoulders." You've heard that phrase,
I'm sure many times, we hear that phrase used when people are under intense stress, they had the weight of the
world on their shoulders. But you know, friends, the truth is, only one
person in all of history has ever carried the
full weight of the world on His shoulders, is Jesus. So in closing, I need to
mention one more stress reliever that Jesus didn't need
because He was the Son of God. What's the seventh or the
eighth stress reliever? You need a Savior. You need far more than the
model of Jesus, you need that, but you need Jesus Himself in your life. You need His presence in your life, you need His power in your life, you need His pardon for your sins, you need His peace in your life, you need His salvation. We've looked at this verse
before in this series, Matthew 11:28-29, "Jesus said, "'Come to me, all of you who are weary "and carry heavy burdens,
and I'll give you rest. "Take my yoke on you, and lemme teach you, "'cause I'm humble and gentle, "and you will find rest for your souls." You know what that verse is? It's salvation, this is salvation. Are you stressed out? Don't give up, look up because
Jesus offers still stands, come to me. The single greatest source of
stress in your life is this, trying to live your life apart from a daily connection to Christ, God is God and you're not. And when I'm disconnected from Christ or when you're disconnected for Christ, it causes all kinds of problems, fear, guilt, worry, loneliness. Come back to Christ today,
give Him your stress. He's aware of the load
you're carrying and He says, I'll carry it with you. Let's bow our heads. Heavenly Father, thank you
for not only being a model for stress relief, a
mentor for stress relief, but for being the answer to our stress, we need a Savior. If you've never opened
your life to Christ, say, Jesus Christ come into my life right now, I need a Savior, I need your power. Just say that. I need your power, I need your presence, I need your pardon for all
the things I've done wrong, and I need your peace in
my heart and in my mind, I open my life to your love, I need to not just practice your model, but I need to have a
relationship with you, please save me. In Jesus name. Amen. God bless you everybody, we'll be talking to you next week, have a great weekend.
