>> Jesse: HISTORY IS IMPORTANT. PRECEDENT IS IMPORTANT. AMERICA'S INSTITUTIONS ARE IMPORTANT. WE NEED TO STUDY THESE THINGS. WE NEED TO RESPECT THEM. THEY ARE SYMBOL ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO REMIND US OF THE MEN WHO MADE THIS COUNTRY GREAT IT. DRIVES ME CRAZY WHEN YOUNG LIBS TEAR DOWN THINGS LIKE THAT. THERE IS NO BETTER SYMBOL FOR AMERICAN EXCELLENCE THAN THE WHITE HOUSE. GEORGE WASHINGTON WANTED THE PLACE WHERE THE LEADERS OF THE FREE WORLD COULD LIVE, WORK AND PRESIDE OVER THE FREE COUNTRY. NOW, A LOT HAS HAPPENED. THE BRITISH BURNED IT DOWN. IT WAS REBUILT AND EXPANDED. BUT THROUGH ALL OF THAT, EVERY PRESIDENT WHO LIVED IN THE WHITE HOUSE RESPECTED IT. THEY UNDERSTOOD ITS IMPORTANCE AND HOW SACRED IT WAS. UNTIL NOW. REMEMBER WHEN OBAMA KICKED HIS FEET UP ON THE RESOLUTE DESK? I DIDN'T GO CRAZY. WHEN HE WORE A TAN SUIT, I DIDN'T GO NUTS. OBAMA EVEN INVITED SNOOP TO THE WHITE HOUSE WHO LIT ONE UP IN THE BATHROOM. >> BOOM, NEXT THING I DO IS PULL THAT THING OUT OF MY SOCK. I HEARD SOMEBODY COMING. [LAUGHTER] PUT HIM OUT REAL QUICK AND GOT ON BACK TO THE PARTY. >> Jesse: NOW SNOOP WASN'T THE FIRST. WILLIE NELSON WENT ON THE WHITE HOUSE ROOF AND SMOKED WITH JIMMY CARTER'S SON IN THE 1970s. >> WHEN WILLIE NELSON WROTE HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY HE CONFESSED THAT HE SMOKED POT IN THE WHITE HOUSE ONE NIGHT WHEN HE WAS SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH ME. AND HE SAID THAT HIS COMPANION SHARED THE POT WITH HIM WAS ONE OF THE SERVANTS AT THE WHITE HOUSE. THAT IS NOT EXACTLY TRUE. IT ACTUALLY WAS ONE OF MY SONS. >> Jesse: BILL CLINTON PICKED UP WHERE JFK LEFT OFF. LET'S JUST SAY TOOK SOME RISKS IN THE PEOPLE'S HOUSE. >> I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN. >> >> Jesse: BUT AT LEAST CLINTON KEPT THINGS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. WE KNOW JOE BIDEN LIKED TO SKINNY DIP IN FRONT OF THE SECRET SERVICE AGENTS WHEN HE WAS V.P. THIS WEEKEND JOE BIDEN LET IT ALL HANG OUT ON THE SOUTH LAWN. HE THREW A BIG GAY PRIDE PARTY AT THE WHITE HOUSE AND THEY FREED THE NIP. >> WELCOME TO THE WHITE HOUSE. >> THANK YOU. >> HAPPY PRIDE MONTH. >> HAPPY PRIDE YEAR. HAPPY PRIDE LIFE. >> CAN WE TAKE A LITTLE VIDEO? HI, MR. PRESIDENT. >> HI, HOW ARE YOU. >> IT IS A HONOR TRANS RIGHTS AND HUMAN RIGHTS. [LAUGHTER] >> ARE WE TOPLESS AT THE WHITE HOUSE? >> Jesse: OH, SO THEY BASICALLY OPENED HUNTER'S LAPTOP ON THE SOUTH LAWN. BUT THAT WASN'T ONE OF HUNTER'S FRIENDS. THE FLASHER IS JOE'S FRIEND. ROSE MONTOYA AND THE FLASHER SHATTERS. THAT'S RIGHT. THE FLASHER IS TRANS. IF YOU ARE TRANS YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. IF YOU SHATTER, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO PROBLEM. NOW, IF THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN ON ANY WHITE HOUSE, I MEAN, MY MONEY WOULD HAVE BEEN ON THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE BUT, NO. THE TRANS FLASHER HAPPENED ON BIDEN'S WATCH. WHO PUT TOGETHER THE GUEST LIST? WAS THE SAME PEOPLE WE FLEW OUT OF AFGHANISTAN? NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS THERE ARE CERTAIN PLACES YOU JUST DON'T FMLA CHURCH, SCHOOL, FUNERALS, PROBABLY THE WHITE HOUSE. WOMEN CAN'T FLASH AT THE WHITE HOUSE. MEN CAN'T MOON AT THE WHITE HOUSE. BUT IF YOU ARE TRANS, ANYTHING GOES. AND NOT ONLY THAT, BIDEN CALLED THE TRANS FLASHER A HERO. >> WE ALL TALK ABOUT COURAGE. WELL, I SEE MORE COURAGE IN THIS LAWN THAN I HAVE SEEN AT ANY TIME IN THE RECENT PAST. YOU ARE SOME OF THE BRAVEST, MOST INSPIRING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN. [CHEERS] >> AND I HAVE KNOWN A LOT OF GOOD FOLKS. >> Jesse: BIDEN KNOWS NAVY SEALS, POLICE OFFICERS, AND HUNTER'S CLEANING LADY. BUT A GUY WHO GOT BREAST IMPLANTS IS THE BRAVEST PERSON HE EVER MET? I GOT BACK SURGERY LAST YEAR? NOBODY CALLED ME BRAVE. CHILDREN STEP OVER NEEDLES TO GO SCHOOL IN SAN FRANCISCO, THEY WALK THROUGH GUNFIRE ON THE SOUTH SIDE, THEY'RE NOT THE BRAVEST? BIDEN'S INSPIRED BY THE TRANS FLASHER? DOES THE TRANS FLASH EVERYWHERE REGRET EXPOSING HIMSELF TO CHILDREN AT THE WHITE HOUSE? >> FIRST OF ALL, GOING TOPLESS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. IS LEGAL. AND I FULLY SUPPORT THE MOVEMENT AND FREEING THE NIPPLES. I DECIDED TO JOIN THEM AND COVER MY NIPPLES JUST TO PLAY IT SAFE. BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE FULLY FREE IN MYSELF. I HAD ZERO INTENTION OF TRYING TO BE VULGAR OR BE PROFANE IN ANY WAY. I WAS SIMPLY LIVING IN JOY. >> Jesse: TRANS FLASHER IT'S FINE. THERE'S NO RULES IN THIS ADMINISTRATION. THERE IS NO BORDER AND NO DEBT LIMIT AND NITTANY LIONFLATION. THE TRANS FLASHERREPRESENTS DEC. >> WHAT IS ON THE BALLOT HERE IS THE CHARACTER OF THIS COUNTRY. DECENCY, HONOR, RESPECT. >> Jesse: MAN BOOBS AT THE WHITE HOUSE. NOW, WHEN TRUMP BOUGHT McDONALD'S AND BURGER CLING FOR THE CLEMSON FOOTBALL TEAMMENT MEDIA COVERED IT LIKE CRAZY THE MEDIA CALLED HIS TRASH. THE TRANS FLASHER ISN'T TRASHY? WHEN MELANIA PUT RED CHRISTMAS TREES UP IN THE WHITE HOUSE THE LEFT CALLED IT CREEPY. THE TRANS FLASHER ISN'T CREEPY? NOW IMAGINE IF ONE OF TRUMP'S GUESTS GOT NAKED ON THE LAWN. KID ROCK MIND AMERICA THEY WOULD STILL TALK ABOUT IT. ONLY TRANS FLASHINGERS CAN MOON. THE BIDEN WHITE HOUSE SAID THE TRANS FLASHER IS NO LONGER ALLOWED BACK AT THE WHITE HOUSE. FINALLY JOE BIDEN DREW THE LINE SOMEWHERE. EXCEPT THE TRANS FLASHER IS ALLOWED IN YOUR KID'S KINDERGARTEN CLASS AND IN ANY UNDERAGE DRAG BRUNCH IN THE COUNTRY. APPARENTLY THE WHITE HOUSE NOW HAS STANDARDS YOUR KID'S
