Jerry Seinfeld | Duke's 2024 Commencement Address

thank you oh my God what a beautiful day what a beautiful class we love you guys I am here today at the gracious invitation of President price and the Duke Board of Trustees because after spending four years at what is considered one of the finest institutions of higher education in the world they apparently feel that perhaps some light entertainment will get you all to the final realization you know I think I've really had enough of this place let's bring in a comedian let's bring the sophistication and erudition of the Duke experience down a couple notches and I thought maybe that does make sense maybe the thinking was what we really want is to just get these kids the hell out of here what would give them that last final push because what you might not be fully aware of is that the entire time you have been at this wonderful University we have been meeting and talking to other kids that we would like to replace you with not because we weren't happy with you not at all you have been great it's just you know we want them to see what's out there I don't want to say exactly how many kids we talk to it's roughly this many and we met a lot of wonderful kids a lot was there a time when we were thrilled to have you come here to learn grow and flourish of course there was that time has passed we do offer graduate programs in a number of different disciplines if you and your parents want to stall your ultimate uselessness for a few more years I can't imagine how sick you are of hearing about following your passion I say the hell with passion find something you can do that would be great if you try something and it doesn't work that's okay too most things do not work most things are not good you know this already from your short lives you leave the house you come back how was pie and hard [Applause] it was okay that's why everyone tries so hard to get in here Duke actually is really good the school is the square handicap button that opens the Broadhead doors to your life unless it's those heavy wooden doors at the West Union those will kill you let go of this idea that you have to find this one great thing that is my passion my great Passion with your shirt torn open and your heaving PEC muscles it's embarrassing just be willing to do your work as hard as you can with the ability you have we don't need the heavy breathing and the outstretched arm from your passion it makes co-workers uncomfortable in the cubicle next to you find Fascination Fascination is way better than passion it's not so sweaty I will give you my three real keys to life no jokes in this part okay they are number one bust your ass number two pay attention number three fall in love number one you obviously already know whatever you're doing I don't care if it's your job your hobby a relationship getting a reservation at M Sushi make an effort just pure stupid no real idea what I'm doing here effort effort always yields a positive value even if the outcome of the effort is absolute failure of the desired result this is a rule of life just swing the bat and pre is not a bad approach to a lot of things number two pay attention if you're in a small submersible that looks like a giant kazoo and going to visit the Titanic seven miles down at the bottom of the ocean and the captain of the vessel is using a Game Boy Controller pay attention to that what are you checking out down there oh I see what happened this ship sank now I understand why it never made it into Port if the fish where you are have eyes like Shelly Duval and a Bendy straw with a work light hanging off their head you do not belong there if the fish are going I can't see a goddamn thing you won't either number three fall in love it's easy to fall in love with people I suggest falling in love with anything and everything every chance you get fall in love with your coffee your sneakers your blue zone parking space I've had a lot of fun in life falling in love with stupid meaningless physical objects the object I love the most is the clear Barrel big pen $129 for a box of 10 I can fall in love with a car turn signal switch that has a nice feel to it a pizza crust that collapses with just the right amount of pressure I have truly spent my life focusing on the smallest things imaginable completely oblivious to all the big issues of living find something where you love the good parts and don't mind the bad parts too much the torture you're comfortable with this is the golden path to victory in life work exercise relationships they all have a solid component of pure torture and they are all 1,00% worth it privilege is a word that has taken quite a beating lately privilege today seems to be the worst thing you can have I would like to take a moment to defend it again a lot of you were thinking I can't believe they invited this guy too late I say use your privilege I grew up a Jewish boy from New York that is a privilege if you want to be a [Applause] comedian thanks if I messed up a funny story around my relatives they would go that's not how you tell that joke the prostitut is has to be behind the drapes when the wife comes in you went to Duke that is an unbelievable privilege I now have an honorary doctorate of Humane letters degree from Duke University and if I can figure out a way to use that I will I haven't figured anything out yet I think it's pretty much as useful in real life as this outfit I'm wearing but so what I'll take it my point is we're embarrassed about things we should be proud of and proud of things we should be embarrassed about when I was writing my TV series thanks what a crowd so on my staff in the 90s we had a lot of Harvard guys they were fantastic but I could never understand why these guys were so embarrassed about being from Harvard they would never talk about it they would never mention it I'm not talking about Harvard now I'm talking about the way it used to be you're never going to believe this Harvard used to be a great place to go to school now it's Duke you didn't fake your fabulous education you earned it be proud of it don't just drop it on people right before you serve in pickle ball okay Duke 24 coming at you but if it comes up if someone asks don't say it looking down stubbing your toe in the dirt when someone asks where'd you go to school you say I went to Duke watch them take that uncomfortable hard swallow AI on the other hand is the most embarrassing thing we've ever invented in Mankind's time on earth oh so you can't do the work is that what you're telling me you can't figure it out this seems to be the justification of AI I couldn't do it this is something to be embarrassed about the ad campaign for chat GPT should be the opposite of Nike you just can't do it making fake brains is risky Frankenstein Stein proved that he was so dumb he thought a monster needed a sport jacket it's not a wine tasting we're terrorizing villagers no one's going to tell you I'm sorry Mr Stein it's jackets only this evening what I like is we're smart enough to invent AI dumb enough to need it and still so stupid we can't figure out if we did the right thing making work easier this is the problem so obsessed with getting to the answer completing the project producing a result which are all valid things but not where the richness of The Human Experience lies the only two things you ever need to pay attention to in life are work and love things that are self-justified in the experience and who cares about the result stop rushing to what you perceive as some valuable end point learn to enjoy the exper expenditure of energy that may or may not be on the correct path now if you have been at this amazing place for four years and still have no idea what you like what you're interested in or what you want to do in life you are the luckiest ones here those of you that think you know what you want to do are very likely wrong and perhaps even overestimating your ability to do it you have convinced yourself that you know who you are and what's going on in the world you don't know either the less secure and confident you feel in the direction the more surprises and excitement you will have in store that's good so the better the job you've done in finding a path for yourself the more boring and predictable your life is going to be if you're sitting here today completely confused feeling lost a drift and totally abandoned you might even be a j I say congratulations you win the Duke commencement ceremonies of 2024 you are about to go on a hell of a ride about work you know how they always say nobody ever looks back on their life and wishes they spent more time at the office well why why don't they guess what depends on the job if you took a stupid job that you find out you hate and you don't leave that's your fault don't blame work work is wonderful I definitely will not be looking back on my life wishing I work less if that's not how you feel at work quit on your lunch break disappear make people go what happened to that guy I don't know he said he was getting something to eat never came back the one thing I know about this gang here you are all worker bees and I mean that as the highest compliment I love bees beautiful amazing elegant Society I made a cartoon movie about bees you may have watched as a child if any of you felt slightly uncomfortable about the sexual undertones in the relationship between Barry the bee and Vanessa the florist who saves his life I would like to apologize for that now I may not have calibrated that perfectly but I would not change it and this is probably the biggest point I would like to make to you here today regarding humor I'm going to try and reach across a couple Generations here to tell you the most important thing I am confident that I know about life I'm 70 I'm done you are just starting I only want to help you the slightly uncomfortable feeling of awkward humor is okay it's not something you need to fix I totally admire the Ambitions of your generation to create a more just and inclusive Society I think it is also wonderful that you care so much about not hurting other people's feelings in the million and one ways we all do that every second of every day it's lovely to want to fix those things but all caps but what I need to tell you as a comedian do not lose your sense of humor you can have no idea at this point in your life how much you are going to need it to get through not enough of life makes sense for you to be able to survive it without humor and I know all of you here are going to use all of your brains and muscle and soul to improve the world and I know you're going to do a bang up job and when you're done as I am now I bet the world because of you will be a much better place but it will still not make a whole hell of a lot of sense it'll be a better different but still pretty insane mess and it is worth the sacrifice of an occasional discomfort to have some laughs don't lose that even if it's at the cost of occasional hard feelings it's okay you got to laugh that is the one thing at the end of your life you will not wish you did less of humor is the most powerful most survival essential quality you will ever have or need to navigate through the Human Experience the other thing I see going on that throws a lot of people thank you I was hoping you'd like that part the other thing I see going on that throws a lot of people people off these days is thinking I've got to make as much money as I can I personally believe the real game is I want to have the coolest job when I started out as a comedian I did not think I was funny I thought I'm a little funny maybe I wouldn't have to be that funny I just have to be funny enough to feed one person and I could do that with a loaf of Wonderbread and a jar of peanut butter a loaf of bread and some peanut butter that was my actual plan that's how you think when you do not have a Duke education I just wanted to have this super cool job and cool is a word not easily defined it's really just whatever you think is cool so just go for what you think is the coolest money will be made eventually somehow try not to think about it so much I see this messing people up a lot put it to the side a little don't think about having think about becoming having is fine but focus on becoming that is where it's at and I know you're not really even listening to this speech and that's okay I wouldn't either you're graduating you're thinking about yourself or timing your mobile order from the yala truck that's all cool but the one thing I really do care about communicating to you is don't lose your humor forget the rest forget your education your degree your privilege all of you here would do fantastically well without any of it all of you here without question are the best of the best just don't lose your your humor it's not an accessory it's your Stanley Cup water bottle on the brutal long hike of life and humor is not just for the stress relief or even just the simple fun of laughing but for the true perspective of the silliness of all humans and all existence that's why you don't want to lose it try to enjoy some of the dumbness of it all that's the best life advice I can give you I wish you luck I wish you love thanks for the phony degree in the ridiculous outfit go get him Duke class of 24 throw the Hat up let's get out of here congratulations [Applause]

Channel: Duke University

Views: 888,640

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Id: 76QV2SrSqgo

Length: 16min 52sec (1012 seconds)

Published: Sun May 12 2024