jeremy + audrey roloff | couple things with shawn and andrew

what's up everybody welcome back to a couple things with shawn and andrew the podcast all about couples and the things that they go through don't like that at all hope you're having a great day today we sit down with jeremy and audrey roloff you may recognize the roll-offs from the reality tv show called little people big world since leaving that show they have gone on to do huge things including being new york best new york times best-selling author did i say that right yes new york times best-selling author of a book called the love letter life yes we talk a lot about their kind of um roller coaster of their relationship going from reality television to then social media to them becoming parents in the public eye we talk about all the different kind of job opportunities and their so-called work plate over the past few years they've they talk a lot about how they're actually slowing down right now because they got so overwhelmed with all of it and reprioritizing life yeah this is a really impressive couple i think we kind of have a similar kind of niche that we're in as far as what things we talk about on our podcast and youtube but i really respect these two we actually were able to join them on their podcast show called behind the scenes a couple months ago really enjoyed getting to know them and this was a great continuation of that also recently it is worth noting that they came out with a marriage journal which is quote unquote the best the world's best communication tool for marriage and it's designed to do once a week with your spouse and it's just a cool communication tool uh for husband and wife to do together yes um i think you guys are gonna like this podcast they have a lot of great insights and opinions and just tips and tricks for relationships that we even took away from and thought you know it would better our relationship before we jump into it please subscribe to the show and give it a rating on whatever platform you're listening and let's jump into this one with jeremy and audrey roloff [Music] jeremy audrey thank you so much for joining us today it's good to see your faces again oh yes what a pleasure thanks for having us i know you guys are on vacation so thanks for making the sacrifice yeah you guys know never really on vacation when you do podcasting and you're always kind of on vacation too yeah podcasting is one of those beautiful things you can kind of do it wherever so yeah it's pretty great wait so didn't you guys just take a break from your podcast we are yes we are officially this is the first week technically that we are in break mode so we're taking the summer off to that decision a lot a lot we've kind of been in this season a lot of our listeners know we've been in this season of just starting to choose and focus on specific things and we love the podcast but as you guys know it takes a lot of energy and we just we needed to reserve as much energy as possible to make some other decisions in our life right now and we just figured let's uh let's call it a season so we're not like quitting our podcasts we're just ending season four so we've done this we're in our fourth season and uh giving it at least the summer break so i really respect that i have been really thinking especially during the quarantine where like at first we were like oh my gosh we got to create all this content because people like need optimism and positivity and then i feel like about a month and a half into that i we hit rock bottom sean rock bottom well it's tough and it takes a toll on like my whenever we have a podcast interview or we're about to film content it's like oh my gosh like we gotta prepare and then it's like did i prepare enough oh did i miss this am i gonna like there's just it takes a lot of mental space it does and uh so i i respect that also in light of uh i don't know how you guys feel about this if you've thought about this but like rachel and dave hollis that whole situation of of them getting divorced and really totally sean and i they were doing a lot of things that sean and i wanted to do with the marriage conferences and and the books all about like having healthy relationships and what it's like working with your spouse and uh it really made me pause when when they hit their thing it's like hey uh i never want to touch that ever so what can we do to protect that so i respect your decision yeah yeah thank you guys that did come as a bit of a shock and i personally audrey and i have felt we felt this for a couple months now or really maybe a year we've been like holy smokes we got to start pumping the brakes and start evaluating because uh four years ago we quit the family television show an effort to do all this podcasting and online and write books and encourage and inspire and it's been nothing but fun but it's come at a at a cost for sure as everything does and so we're definitely evaluating right now and and we shut down always more which was a company it was based on audrey's you know life mantra always believing the more that it's within you from the verse ephesians 3 20 we shut we canceled our book contract and and just trying to lean back yeah lean back and slow down because it all it catches up really quickly and uh and it's so easy to paint pictures online and with what we with what we do and audre and i want us as you just said stay so far away from that we want to stay as true to us and as healthy as possible so saying no to some things was definitely a requirement for us right now i was going to ask we were looking at the uh you know the big news of you releasing or submitting the second manuscript but um shawn and i went through the phase of saying no not too long ago and in my mind i was like i'm saying no to these things or shutting the door to these things so i can open more doors and i realize that's the wrong menta like that's the wrong attack i just got to say no and just there's something to be said about being content and happy with dude the internet just makes us it just shows you everything you're not everything you could do everyone you should be everywhere you could go it's just all of these anxious feelings and we're being bombard and then the news i mean that's a whole another element of the anxiety problem and it's like all day every day we're consuming a billion reasons of how we're less than yeah it's really a fascinating emotional problem a lot of our youth as we know is facing and we're facing the ones that are like in it you know and none of this is to say bad like we love what we do it's awesome i just feel like pacing ourselves we're 30 starting our family two kids i'm not 30 yet yeah we don't need to take over the world by 35 and that's something we kind of like really embraced in the last couple months and made some hard decisions so well i mean i don't want to you know linger on that topic too long but i feel like we could dive into this very deep because andrew and i have had a lot of conversations like this i feel like when you're within like when you're in this industry within entertainment or social media your job is to create so whether you're off work and you're not you know on your computer and you turn your cell phones off at five o'clock you never turn work off you can't as soon as you turn it off your career stops and it's such this over-consuming career where you're constantly trying to think of what image you're portraying what you're saying who you are when you go out to the grocery store because it goes with your brand and andrew and i have talked a lot about when it comes to a podcast what do we want to divulge what do we want to talk about because we're also putting ourselves on the line and we're being vulnerable and it's almost like marital therapy but yet there might still be open wounds like i didn't know we hit rock bottom um but i i do think i think it's a really complicated it's a complicated you know time and career to be in like you guys said you're taking a step back to have perspective on the priorities it's so easy to get lost that way and it's so easy to be like oh i want to take over the world by 35 i have to do more we have to make more we have to create more we have to what was if you don't mind us asking the turning point for you guys where you said we can't continue to do more we need to take a step back for us baby number one and then it doubled with baby number two i think that's a simple way to put it very simple but obviously i think like for us we made a lot of big commitments and we sort of were like let's dip our toes in all waters before we had kids and we had all the energy in the world and all the time in the world and we were very ambitious and we were like okay yeah let's let's sign the book contracts and start the ministries and start a podcast and start all these a clothing line and all these different things and kind of see which thing takes off or see which thing we decide that we want to be the most committed to the most passionate about or focus on and they all sort of not took off at the same time but took off in their own way and then we added a kid to that and we were like whoa we like committed to we didn't think that all these things were gonna it sounds weird but like work in the way that they did and we never intended to do all of them we just intended to kind of try and see like what we wanted to do the most and so we had to go through this process of like okay we started all these things sort of at the same time we need to slowly one by one decide which things need to go so that we can better focus on the things that we really feel like this is our sweet spot this is like what the lord's made us to do and this is the thing that we equally love and is going to give us the lifestyle that we want and the family dynamic that we want and so um i mean i think just having kids you guys know changes your perspective on so many things like that was a really big turning point but yeah it was kind of a gradua i feel like it was a little bit of a gradual process for us we just kept getting in bed at night and you just said it's so great uh you can't like the second you turn off your phone you turn off your career in some sense as far as what we're supposed to do which is create and we just kept getting in bed at night going like this is kind of working but i don't like it anymore and so that was we woke up like that maybe i don't know half a dozen times before we were like we this is supposed to create a lifestyle we wanted but now we're not living the lifestyle we wanted that we set out to do in the first place so something's gonna change so it's kind of that gradual realization for us and we're really excited for our next steps but saying no is andre as you just said is such it is an art so hard yeah i uh it's it's also just last thought on this in our line of work the time where you can say yes to the most amount of things and you have the most opportunities is when you have like have a massive life event like another child you know what i'm saying yeah and so we did that we launched our podcast a week after we had a kid because i thought it was a great idea and then being like you're blasting me today i was a week home from the hospital and he's like babe we gotta film a podcast and i was like what and then now in retrospect it's like no that's not the priority like that is not the priority and but it's great and it's probably working and it's fun but yeah there's the pros and cons anyway one thing we have in common jeremy i don't know if the girls could attest to this is we both look better with short hair so dude hey you had short hair last time we talked right yeah yeah yeah i had it by then i think like the day before is when we cut it dude yeah it was fun it was it was a good experiment but oh there's nothing there's nothing like getting out of the pool or waking up and just knowing i can go i can cruise about anything but dude and you you had like those frodo baggins curls too like the whole thing man unmanageable that's i didn't see it but now i look back it's funny because i always thought in the moment like i'm gonna look back on this and think something but now yeah this is like the cover of our book what was i doing andrew has looked back on some pictures with his long hair and he's like why didn't you make me cut my hair and i'm like well i tried for like three years because one thing wanted oh you wanted it i did i love the curls and i i was really sad i would have cut mine if it wasn't for i loved the curls but i also just like everything i like change you know yeah like i feel like you know he had his hair long for three or four years three or four years a long time three three and a half years and i feel like it was just kind of like time you know but i loved i like i don't know i can swing both ways it was the point at which i saw like a little reseeding hairline and then you like you walk down the street and you see like an old dude with the ponytail that's like super it's when you start yeah when you start like a lot of people that don't do it really well or you should start this device is this me it's just me maybe i'm going to walk around yeah and i was like bib yeah yeah yeah it is yeah it is i have to say i haven't this is my favorite when you laugh like that and you've done that three times oh thank you for i i haven't made her laugh like that in okay yeah i don't know how many months yeah okay so i am curious how did you guys meet we have to take it back yeah take it back well we met on a blind date before church essentially it was a black yeah it was a blind date before church we had mutual friends that uh one grew up with jeremy and one group with me and they started dating uh his one of his best friends that he grew up with transferred to my high school and started dating one of my best friends so they were my friends and they were like you guys would be perfect together and neither of us were really looking to date neither of us had ever been on a blind date before we both almost bailed last minute jeremy showed up at my door i answered the door soaking wet and covered in mud in my running buns and sports rocks i just got back from like an eight mile run i was running early and jared was like who the heck is this girl i hope this is her sister and it wasn't but we had our first date it was not like love at first sight we were definitely interested in each other but it wasn't like it was interest at first sight for sure like i was i was totally intrigued like who in the world i should probably know more about her wait i have some questions first can we yeah as a girl like the logistics of this i started sweating at the idea that he showed up early enough that you had just gotten out of the shower listen no no i wasn't i didn't shower i didn't get out of the shower i got back from the hotel how did we how did we pull this off she hadn't even showered yet and that happened early were you six five years of marriage and that hasn't always i'm always running late literally just getting out of the shower and i'm like babe kids are loaded cars on but anyways yeah no i had literally just i mean he could have answered the door no one could have been there my family was all out of town and i had like literally just gotten back and i i literally answered the door and i was like hey i'm not ready yeah like go inside make yourself at home i'm gonna go get ready and then i just like left him in my parents kitchen so i walk to the kitchen yeah make yourself at home yeah literally i'm walking around the kitchen like what in the world um 100 by myself blind date the whole thing was just not but then our friends met us so it was like a double blind date so they made it last yeah yeah and then we had the blind date it's actually one of my favorite stories in the book because we obviously tell the whole the whole meat and it's a it's a laugh i read it still and i'm like man babe that was a funny meat but yeah yeah so it was a little it was a we kept i kept out i mean really i was i just that was my i started pursuing her and i was kind of my you know it was her that what am i saying audrey was not into me is what i'm saying that's not true i wasn't not into jeremy but i wasn't really like in a place in my life where i was like trying to find i like kind of over spiritualized dating a little bit and i like put a lot of pressure on the next person that i dated and i was like this next person is going to be my spouse yeah and so i just had like this like really stubborn like kind of prideful attitude and hence jeremy pursuing me for two years we were friends before i even was like i kind of like you and then we finally started dating after two years of friendship and then we did three years long distance yeah and graduated college and got married the month after i feel like a lot of people over spiritualize dating yeah yeah especially if you get over that it's great we learned through it i don't think we really got it like during it it was a problem for me not so much for jeremy but like into our dating relationship was definitely a thing for me yeah i think a lot of its perspective yeah i think yeah we do talk about that exact concept actually but in our book but i think a lot of it is perspective and what i mean by that is you know the over spiritualization of dating is we should take it somewhat seriously and we should be somewhat careful and critical and not go you know but also you have to like meet people know people and the difficulties of it and the dangers i think specifically in a sexual based culture has totally outweighed the risks so a lot of people in the christian circle are looking at the risks and then taking the act of going on a date so serious because we see this huge pile of risks involved and that's something i see at least just recently and really just because i mean i mean everything is just so sexualized mm-hmm it's like i mean i even i even have a friend who is in the dating world and she does the same thing someone will ask her out she's like oh i can't like he's not i know he's not the one i'm like she just over hypes it so much and like there's nothing wrong with going and meeting a human being yeah totally like no strings attached yeah we're forgetting how to do that though yeah but i i think i think as long as you're going to meet another human being with the expectation that you're just going to meet another human being and like it's not for like oh let me go hook up with this rando for friendship which i feel like it's kind of a mixed bag it's like that's kind of the expectation is hey we're going to hook up because whatever it's fun but it's it's it's just way more actually enjoyable if if it's like i like coffee dates freaking that was my jam back in the day that was your job wow okay i do feel like though if more people set the expectation of going to meet another human being they would end up in relationships yeah because if you go in thinking oh this is going to be my husband someday or something i mean yeah i would i'd have a heart attack too many people are looking for a husband and wife they're not looking for a friend and we all know friends are the foundation of relationship so if you're if you go out looking for a friend pressure's off and you might find yourself with a husband or wife that you're best friends with i know it might sound a little like okay but seriously we're going we won't go coffee dates because we're like they're not husband or wife material it's like well first you have no idea why you insta stalked them for a quick second go hang out for a minute and see what comes of it then you might find yourself in love and again that goes back to the classic you can't choose who you fall in love with but you can spend who you can choose who you spend time with audrey says that a lot and i think it's so true right all right audrey true or false i want you to answer this question first and jeremy you answer it yeah uh a male and female can platonically be friends in general yeah for sure yeah uh okay wait how can i refine that to i don't need to get the answers i don't think that i don't i know it kind of happens um i think yeah so we actually we also talk about this in our book just because it's relevant to our own story in our own dating relationship um so it's something that we've shared vulnerably in our book but um i think it's just something that you have to be careful with like i have a lot of guy friends and to be honest like my personality i tend to almost like connect with guys better than girls sometimes and same that's like a thing for me um and then herman has a lot of girlfriends too and we and even in marriage and dating all the way through but i think what gets tricky is when you just don't have any sort of boundaries for those types of relationships and not to specify it to like me having relationships with my male friends but like also boundaries for me with my female friends like if i'm spending more time with my girlfriends than i am with jer or jerry's you know sacrificing date night every week to go play poker with his friends like there needs to be boundaries on those relationships too so i think like what it really comes down to is just like boundaries in general for your relationships outside of your own marriage to in order to protect and prioritize your most important relationship which is your marriage yeah i like that a lot i like that too sean i do have to say that you are looking particularly radiant today i had to really elaborate that um it's glossier babe thank you i just started using it i love it um they make skin care makeup body care fragrance products they're all about using the best ingredients and techniques to create products inspired by real routines tell me more well i start with glossier's invisible shield spf i've been using it literally every day for the past four weeks and i don't have any breakouts it smells amazing it goes on awesome it goes great under makeup which is great it's super lightweight water gel texture goes completely clear it goes on completely clear and feels like a serum it has spf 35 for truly transparent sun protection you can wear every single day it sounds like a sunscreen for people who hate wearing sunscreen uh it is which is everyone and for everyday makeup glossiest eye color set is my go-to they have this sky wash eye color which is just beautiful if you guys always i mean you guys do always ask what color palettes i use from day to day that's it i use their pro tip liner their lash like mascara together in one set so you have everything you need for an easy everyday eye look they're also all long wearing good for your skin ingredients so let your natural shine through long wearing does that just mean long wearing just stays on for a while that just means it lasts all day which is what every girl loves these products are so thoughtfully designed easy to use and they really work because glossier believes beauty starts with the skin first and makeup comes second which is i mean it's just brilliant that's how it should be get this glowy dewy look for yourself by visiting glossier dot com forward slash podcast forward slash espan plus all new customers will get 10 off their first order on glossier.com forward slash podcast forward slash east fam certain exclusions do apply that's glossier g-l-o-s-s-i-e-r dot com slash podcast slash e-spam all right so you know how competitive shawn and i are we're always looking for new games i'm always looking for new ways and new things to beat sean uh yes and with all of our free time at home and in the car lately because we've been going back and forth between um indiana and andrew's family's house we've been loving best fiends that's friends without the r we've told you about it before you can play anytime literally anywhere because you don't even need internet connection to play that's something i can't believe you just glossed over the fact that i say i beat you and everything knew what i just did but it is a seriously challenging game so there's all these puzzles to solve and characters to collect and they update the game monthly with new levels and events so it pretty much never gets old so if you're not playing best fiends yet you should be because it's hours of fun you can enjoy anytime so you guys saw the family vlog last weekend uh we went up and visited my family and we got some of them hooked as well i know don't worry i'm still i'm still the family champ i don't know about that anyways something i really love about it is just like the bright colors and the design it's just it's really like aesthetically pleasing yeah i mean if you're playing a game you might as well have nice colors to go with i know and then one of my other favorite things is collecting tons of characters and strategically having to use them for each level i find myself playing while i'm waiting for coffee to brew in the morning or even if i'm taking nasho best fiends has thousands of levels already with new levels events and characters added every single month it's hours of fun right at your fingertips and you can even play offline with over 100 million downloads and tons of five star reviews best fiends is a must play download best teens free on the apple app store or google play that's friends without the r best fiends also we will link all this in the description down below so you can check it out that way as well i love challenging myself to a fun puzzle each day and i encourage all of you to try it too and share your progress with us on social media you can spend as much or as little time as you like in the game and uh yeah it's just a unique and exciting puzzle game unlike any other puzzle game out there you guys have mentioned your book a couple of times the book is for those listening a love letter life uh i would love for you guys to talk about that but i do have to say we were watching the trailer for the book you guys are on i don't know where what beach that was shot at oh dude oh yeah that's oregon coast really beautiful it's like 40 minutes from where we live yeah yeah the origins you guys have never visited it's a coast it's a coast so it's like oregon sucks don't move here it's beautiful you guys are just laughing the whole time audrey's hanging out the side of a freaking moving vehicle she's in you remember that shot i was like oh my gosh this is her brother her brother shot that he's an incredible filmmaker but um yeah back to we'll get in the book in a second but the back to the you know platonic relationship thing i think aj and i really are heart behind even telling that whole story in our book we spent an entire chapter kind of really trying to address the topic because we noticed that so many people when they get on the other side of fidelity or they get on the other side of problems in their relationship or they're falling out of love 90 plus percent i want to say 99 but just to be conservative 90 percent plus of them don't really know how it happened it's just like how did i end up yeah you know accidental seemingly insignificant choices built a friendship or built up decisions over the course of years and then you find yourself in in an affair in problems or being closer friends and con and just you find yourself growing away from your spouse because that's what you've chosen in the micro moments year after year after year after year so our heart was just to say like hey if you're not consciously aware that you fall in love with those you spend the most time with like there's nothing there's no uh obligation to stay in love with your spouse there's no obligation there's no like require like your heart doesn't just choose your spouse your decisions do and so we were just trying to say like hey the insignificant decisions that you make do add up over time and nobody sets out to intentionally have an affair it's an accident it's not an accident it's a choice but because of all the small little micro choices you make that that add up to it sorry for the little soapbox but i feel like that's an important it's an important point to get across because that was our heart behind it it's just to say like hey be friends with whoever you want but like also just think about it like just think about who you're spending all your time with and whatnot and what it could end up you know to be i want to be 55 with my best friend here love and life because i've me we've guarded our relationship and we've put boundaries and our kids are all and grandkids and all the stuff like we have this vision for what we want to create and so we're going to try to be as intentional as possible without being religious about it you know so that's our heart behind that but man i like that a lot uh i've been feeling that a lot with i mean having a kid changes a ton but especially within a with within a marriage where you just have less energy generally and so when sean and i get into a conflict there's always like that one moment where i'm either gonna be all right we're gonna work through this in a healthy way or uh part of me wants to say no you don't like you don't have the energy for this don't do it and like it is such a battle every single time to make myself realize that if i don't have this healthy conflict it's a little wedge that i'm putting in our relationship so like again they're healthy conflicts but like they need to be had and i need to respect shawn and hey andrew i didn't like how you did that i can either be like all right well let's talk about it or not not right now babe i don't i don't want to i don't have the energy so yeah who's the person that like wants to talk about the conflict and process it through and who's the one that's like i need to i always want to talk about it i want to like be a dead horse i want to make sure it's solved it's never coming up again we love each other we're going to like cry it out we're going to laugh it out it's going to go on way too long but i want to talk about it the only way that's you oh one thousand percent i one of the things i have to tell myself and under a bushel don't ever talk about it [Laughter] jeremy we joke like jeremy blinks forgiveness he's like done over it forgiving you means i never have to think about it again done he doesn't wanna like i know that like deep down like that's the best thing that's not gonna be good later so i have to like pry it out of them but then also like on the flip side like when we do have a conflict i may i don't invite jeremy into the conversation i demand the conversation so i'm like we're having this conversation and i think this is one thing that's been like really really helpful for us with that in our own specific marriage is our marriage journal because every week we have a time that's like we've invited each other to this time where like we're not emotionally charged it's outside of the moment of conflict and we have an opportunity to address things that maybe we didn't have the time to fully resolve during the week because of jeremy's personality or because of just life and kids and i know i know that every week there's a set aside time where i'm going to engage in where he has to engage yeah but it's but i'm choosing to do it too like i'm going to give because i love audrey i am not good at this i don't want to do it but i will do it because i know healthy relationships on the other side yeah so the marriage journal yeah for conflict resolutions really been huge for us but you know do you guys have any tips on one thing sean and i are terrible at is all right we have the conflict like the issues we've addressed it we've discussed it how the heck do we land the plane and like get back to watching netflix or making the meal you know what i'm saying like yeah we always just like it's always a crash like there's and then there's hugs and then it's like okay let's continue watching netflix yeah yeah yeah i don't know man if you guys know yeah like we yeah we aj and i we have totally different styles of um of resolving and landing the plane i would say yeah i think that's that's the hard part of relationships i mean summed up right there is you have two separate people two separate styles two separate hearts ways of communicating things that anger you things that frustrate you things that you love trying to live together so it's i mean there's no perfect way to do any of it it's messy and rough but if you fight your way through it it's beautiful yeah totally and i think that's like a really good perspective because you know that's i mean that's the whole idea is my way isn't right her way isn't right i need to become you know less of me and less of her as far as like a selfish desire like me in my way and the collision of the two is uh is kind of the whole idea but okay so big question you guys have been together during a tv show where your lives have been shown to the world you put your lives out there on social media you talk about it on a podcast you have had babies you have done long distance you have written books together you've done pretty much all of it what are what's the the takeaway of all of it what's the big like relationship advice you have summed up through all of your experiences so far and if that's not hard enough you can only use one single word [Laughter] [Music] i put that on you guys on our broadcast didn't i got okay like what's one thing we've learned about our own marriage throughout that or just either oh that's like lofty um that is lofty that's a huge question i why you guys think i just think it's really important because you guys have lived yeah i feel like within one relationship if someone has to overcome long distance they've overcome this massive obstacle within you know their marriage or dating you guys have gone through a lot of it having a relationship on a reality tv show is very difficult yeah having a relationship on a podcast on social media having babies getting married writing a book all of it is speaking of babies do you hear the little guy i know he's i can hear it i think one this is just a thought this is what is the most fresh on my brain so i'll just share it i don't know if it's answering the question right but i think one thing that journalists talk about is like we that all that life that we've lived has presented a lot of opportunities for making decisions and i think how you make decisions as a couple is important and like how you make decisions together and we've just like through the years of even our friendship relationship and our dating relationship like i feel like we've been presented with a lot of decisions like just it seems like our friends joke about it like we're always making some massive decisions like whether it's stop something or to start something or to to do something or to move or to whatever jeremy's hair yeah like they're they're and i just feel like there's something about like making big decisions together because it's not just been like me making my own decisions jeremy making his own decisions like all those things that you just listed were decisions ultimately that we need together to either pursue a thing or stop a thing and i think like chase a dream i think that those just ultimately the process of making that decision has brought us closer together and there's been conflict that's come through the making of the decision but like we've learned how to make decisions together like we've gotten better at our process for making decisions over the years and it's become something that has been less conflict-inducing more like unity yeah building in our relationship um and it's i don't know i feel like it's just been a way that's allowed us to see our dreams as together dreams and like through the process of making decisions that align with those dreams and like align with the vision that we have for the future i don't know just a thought now i love there's some deep thoughts right there audrey crush that gave i was like trying to play off like that's good babe yeah she wrapped it up next question no um i would just i would go off of that and say oh you know one thing audrey and i are are i would say good at and we try to encourage i say that humbly but something i think that the lord's just given us is the ability to dream together really well i have my own dreams audrey has her own dreams but we have like our two or three we have our two like big goals as 100 percent collective asp you know we both aspire to those two our two main goals and um that has allowed us to filter process and make decisions really collaboratively because we're chasing the same thing you steer where your eyes are audrey stay where you stare you steer where you stare audrey and i are staring at the same goal we're gonna can we're gonna constantly be growing bumping into each other on our way to that goal there's nothing about our two main goals that are gonna drive us apart because we want the same thing out of our life because it's our life not my life not her life i think dreaming together as a couple is something not a lot of people think about they think oh like i want maybe like a happy family or you think i'm giving up my dream for your dream or you're giving up your dream from my dream but like some one person's dream has to bend and you got to come up with something to chase for together because you you steer where you stare and uh i think that's something that's that's you know helped us kind of do what we've done and um yeah so take that it's just been important to us i think it's been important for us and maybe it's not important but now i mean now though we're standing you know we've known each other for 10 years we're now standing 10 years because we we when we first met something we bonded on is a dream was a dream together so we've literally been dreaming 10 years and now we're seeing like holy smokes because we were chasing the same thing like look at all the things we've been able to do and accomplish like what an what an incredible story so far and we're really excited to write the rest of it but is it a finite dream that you guys first bonded over and are still chasing or is it like a ambiguous like that's a good question yeah you don't have to answer what the dream is if you don't want to but yeah one of the big two is is to own property and raise our family on a farm that's what we that's what we want to do so a lot of our decisions year one since year one a lot of our decisions have been does this first of all honor our relationship with the lord does it honor our relationship together and three does it get us closer to that goal that dream and two years a year ago when we were realizing like this is too much how do we say no to things that became a serious way we would start to say no to things no to opportunities and filter out what we're really doing and realize like we don't need to achieve this dream now we might achieve it in a few years and that's okay if it's slower if we're healthier on the road to it yeah i love that i've had it just you made me think of a couple things one i remember being like 20 years old and looking up at like a like some of my mentors and be like oh my god i can't believe they know that much or have these many connections or have built all this stuff yeah i need to i need to do what they're doing and be where they are right now yeah dude and then it's like no no like it comes with time you're freaking 30 years old i'm 28 like the farm will come you know yeah totally and then the second thing is in regards to marriage i've been thinking about why why are couples sometimes able to make it through like you know living in a trailer together like a tiny apartment and they don't have anything and they're living on a small budget but then they get divorced when the husband sells his billion dollar company or whatever and i was thinking it was like i wonder if part of it is because the the the dream is there like oh like someday we're going to be living in a house like there to be driving a car like that and and when they when they're both actively chasing that it's good like it's a bonding experience and they're both on the same page but then once it's once they're there you kind of reflect on what it took to get there as far as time and and decisions and the groups of people that you you're now surrounded with who may or may not be healthy and it's like just always dude it's always you got to keep it in check you always just got to be asking yourself like is this in line with what my priorities are which totally yeah you guys are setting a standard for keeping priorities um in order and keeping your family and stuff in front of work which is awesome yeah i'm sure we'll have conversations tonight about what we need to say no to now which is finn thank you that's encouraging and you know back to what what you guys kind of briefly mentioned before i think that the dave and rachel hollis um situation as unfortunate as it is should be a serious wake-up call to a lot of us in this space so absolutely well this it's been a deep this has been like a deeper conversation this is what they're not like biggest we're always deemed like the two series guys we're just too serious believe it or not we're like we can't we're trying to keep it somewhat above you are you kidding or not uh it's it's harder for us to like well we joke about this our friends joke with us about this like the goofy i i guess sometimes you are more sometimes i am yeah in certain elements but like when you're having a conversation like we go deep i'm 100 like i was always the guy where it's like ed you don't want to talk to andrew if you're looking for like a lighthearted you know yeah you get stuck talking to him for five hours and by the end of it you'll be questioning everything just you're like i need therapy um but you guys are awesome it's great to talk to you guys again please if you haven't yet go purchase their book right and their marriage journal yeah i love your i love your journal we're just looking at it before this we're we're ordering we've already ordered we'll send you guys one we'd love to but yeah the marriage journal just real quick for those that don't know is just it's really a communication tool you can talk about the week ahead you just go through six simple questions but it covers a lot of the bases and it's just a way to connect communicate and grow in love with your spouse and we have thousands of people are doing it now and it's been a phenomenal tool for communication so that's just the marriage journal.com that's super cool we'll link that down below are you ending the conversation i feel like i mean i feel like we could talk to them for hours but it has already been 45 minutes and yeah yeah guys and the the whole the timing of podcasts would you do do guess is is such a funny thing because and i are always like we always keep talking i was like okay well then that's 80 30 knowing it'll be 45 but like could probably go longer but does our audience want that what is it and again it's like seven decisions you only have so many seriously right like you only have so many brain calories a day to spend this is why all i wear is white and black shirts i read essentialism by greg mcgowan and mcgowan i don't know have you read that yeah super good book after that book i was like i'm not wasting another calorie the rest of my life on deciding what to wear we have enough decisions to make and uh and like i just laid off seven decisions in the silly podcast so uh well we're we do the same thing because we're always in the middle of interviews and we're trying to like gauge each other's body language of like oh i could still i could still ask more questions but is it is it time to wrap it i don't know but seriously you guys are awesome we're going to do like a series together where we just talk about marital therapy yeah over the summer now that it'd keep us fresh they just shut down their pockets you can't you can't throw them into another suit you're saying no to things over here yeah i think that's the next thing right yeah what's up dude my bad bro i just cut you off how many times oh yeah we had rachel and harold earl's on the show about a fly fishing trip which yeah dude it is incredible we could throw a trip together generally because anyone titled his life but i'm like where's the girl trip happening because i feel like there's all these rad guy trips but i want to go fly fishing there's so many guy trips let jeremy talk i cut him off too many times well i was just gonna that trip got cancelled which is a bummer because of all the covid stuff but hopefully next year it'll get picked back up um oh one thing i was going to say gary vee you know he's another one of those guys where it's like okay you say a lot of good stuff but if you listen to him for two weeks you pretty much know everything he has to say but uh he says one thing he says there's a lot of stuff he says i'm also like i don't think so but like the whole hustle mentality i mean like the hall is like they really adopted that hustle mentality and hustle leads to hurt no two ways about it um because it's unregulated if you adopt the hustle mentality you're unregulating the design for rest we're designed to rest it's how we enjoy pace and so if you're not resting how can you enjoy the speed of oh we got a baby here cameo what's up dude that's something garyvee said or one thing garyvee says that i do enjoy is he he's always harping on the journey you gotta really enjoy it back to what you were saying earlier andrew the journey is like because like the farm sure like we would love to have a farm one day but if that's the ultimate goal then what you said earlier was so good once we achieve it it's like you know well then now what it can't be like the goal it just has to be a goal for you know for the relationship but i think that's just an important point to make because you know it's the same thing that happens with a lot of marriages with like kids they make kids the goal and then when it becomes the glue of the relationship then when the kids move out so does the relationship moves out and they're stuck going who the heck are you and well i think the goal just has to be aligned to a deeper purpose like the goal can't just the goal like it has your goal has to have a purpose so like your goal might be to have kids for what purpose your goal might be to buy a farm but what's the purpose like for what why you know and those are the like is it to honor god is it to protect and build your relationship and be or see is it to achieve the goal which if the goal had achieved it should support the first two you know but now we're getting all crazy this is welcome to the second half of today's podcast hey broken into two parts i appreciate you guys taking time out of your vacation and join us today i really enjoyed this conversation we'll link all the stuff down below the marriage journal link uh the love letter life and all your social media but i hope to talk to you guys soon appreciate the time yeah always [Music] you

Channel: FamilyMade Media

Views: 69,059

Keywords: Podcasts, Youtube, shawn johnson birth, shawn johnson baby, shawn johnson, andrew east, couple things, shawn and andrew, the east family, pregnancy, podcasts, embarrassing, couples, relationship, media, bachelor, baby, laugh, podcast, funny, confessions, love, parenting, activities, fun, interview, movie, music, quarantine, cause, platform, blogger, vlog, roloff, jeremy and audrey roloff, family

Id: yZMLCgr5gKg

Length: 50min 33sec (3033 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 29 2020