Jeff Goldblum on Facing Consequences, Telling Jokes, & Hairlines | Ext. Interview | DESUS & MERO

[Music] number one show late night nothing but illustrious guests and they keep leveling up miracles in the building tonight world class legendary thespian jeff goldblum ladies and gentlemen what i'm saying you're too kind it means no introduction but we're going to give them one anyway thank you so much for asking me here i'm really honored i respect your terrific thank you for accepting oh mike are you kidding it's a slam dunk and what is this where are we now in la bodega well i know that i know they've mocked this up and it's brilliant i kind of love love this nobody who else does this and who production designed this i mean who came up with is this your idea it's us in our staff our name of our podcast is bodega boys because it's like having a conversation with two random strangers in the bronx that don't know that much about topics but know a little bit of it and so you know conversations take place in the bronx and in bodega is this kind of uh is this a replica or an homage to some bronx particularly like everybody wrong this is like standard bodega you know nice little faux marble countertop right here you got your luge candies right here air fresheners you know dick pills yes the dick pills not that you need it because you know yeah i'm saying you're so funny uh thank you and do you get uh are these usable do you ever eat this the you know you know not the dick pills all the other stuff yeah like everything else thank you i get it i used to have a twinkie i used to have twinkies i liked twinkies when i was you know can you no longer eat a twinkie it's not you know it's not healthy it's not healthy i don't think it's healthy from what i gather i'm no expert from what i gathered no i'm on a particular regime what do you guys eat do you eat twinkies i eat cookies yeah i need twinkies i'm not gonna lie i got four kids so then when they don't eat stuff i end up eating it mm-hmm is that the case i you have four kids i have two kids how old are yours mine are i have two boys six and four ten eight six and four and where do you live now still in the bronze well you know we did what the uh most bronx people do is when you amass a certain amount of money you go to the store and people start asking you for money and then you move out of the neighborhood is that the gr the case well fan joe told me that joe told me also fat fat fragile fat joe yeah the rapper fat joe the rapper yes yes yes yes yes fat joe the rap no from lean back and all that good stuff but yeah that's what uh when you get a little cash in new york people like to move to jersey i'm still in new york though you know we out here you have kids i have a dog and a cat a dog and a cat a lot the duality of mine right you're either a dog person or a cat person he's both of them that's right i am the white and black cookie yeah he's the yeah yang isn't that interesting isn't that interesting i i i've had cats i currently have a dog and we did for this effort this uh world card jeff goldblum um show we did an episode on dogs i saw that in the rolling stone they were talking about that you found dogs to be super interesting was that what they were that was cool i think dogs are super interesting and through this episode even more interesting because we went mushing urban mushing we had a bunch of a bunch a gang of huskies and some some we met some people who had rigged up this jerry rigged this contraption right that allowed me to like you know bend her chariot some kind of thing like that anyway dogs is our first episode uh dance i'll bet you guys are dancers just a little bit do you guys sing or do music at all we can if you need us too yeah you know we're we're we're jacks of all trades you know what i'm saying well what did you do before you did this when you were first meeting we were talking about did you do acting do you do acting now do you do stand-up do you do any of that i could i could act uh whenever i got caught doing something illegal or no acting or no training like that we have regular ass jobs like what kind of jobs did you have well i had every possible job you can have in new york city yeah at one point i was an office worker but also i ran as a strip club you were running what doing what managing a strip club managing a strip club where where was that it was on the east side of new york no kidding it's not as much fun as it sounds like yeah you should there's a lot of spreadsheets and ordering toilet paper yeah it sounds glamorous it's not well i can well imagine oh you should write a book i want to hear about all your we did write a book number one times new york times bestseller that's right got a lot of darkness from the bronx you heard you know what i'm saying available now on paperbacks at the random house jeff goldblum he gave his campaign [Music] go jeff what's the name of the book i want to get i want to get it jesus and meryl present god level knowledge darts yes life lessons from the bronx you know what i'll send you a free copy i i'll pay for it but i want i can't i want it immediately wow and what you wrote it together you wrote it together how'd you do that and what it's about what's it about what's it what is it literally life lessons from the bronx it's just like what we've learned before we got on tv like one thing like a journey that's what i wanted to know that's what i was saying there's a chapter about drugs there's a chapter about like relationships there's a chapter about jail and like incarceration you said you were you acted when you got did something illegal i want to hear what you're talking about and what about jail and and oh about like for jail is like example of like if you have to go to like central booking for the weekend we just tell you how like to pass the time you probably grab a sandwich on your intake and use it as a pillow because you're gonna be there for a while what sandwich makes the best pillow uh probably a peanut butter sandwich but you wanna get like two or three of those squishy like a feather pillow you see the vision yeah and then here's the other thing to pass the time if you take the bread off the peanut butter and you go like this it sticks to the roof of the cell and you just wait cause you got nothing else to do there's no tv and you just wait for it to fall yeah very entertaining i may do that anyway yeah that sounds like a lot of fun as a graffiti kid i would just like carve my name into like the wall you know what i'm saying yeah you were a graffiti kid as you can see wait a minute wait a minute i am i still need to my eyes are still wide as sausage yeah i right there oh wait a second wait a second today's special you're today's special yeah it's special yeah you wrote that yes sir that's really good wow double tapping extra sloppy yeah baby i don't know what that is listen actually this is a good food i love to talk about food look listen it's similar to a little food it requires use of your mouth um oh wait a minute i'm getting the idea yeah yeah double toppy extra sloppy what do you think that means two out you know double yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay i think i know oh yeah well you know kind of like lily in the trent but like you know a little more your meat is the spaghetti yeah like that kind of oh i get extra slavia i think i know what you're talking about yeah well congratulations on everything wow then fantastic there are a couple of chapters i want to read immediately that book it's it's a game changer it's it's a game it's a game changer i don't believe that you have not received double tapping in your entire career jeff goldblum never seen it received it or received it but on the receiving end i i i i i can't answer and that's why you have had such a long career when situations like this arise you will say you know what i'm a professional i'm a professional you go i play my cards close to my vest that's a smart man he's holding a royal double topping flush [Laughter] very good very very good okay well i better well i i don't want to ask what a turkey hero is no no i can only imagine that that's actually just a turkey oh it's our hero okay okay never mind then hollywood's wild hollywood's wild man you know what i mean everything hollywood's wild i'm gonna come out of the book pretty soon okay we get it bro we understand hollywood now we know how to play things close to the chest now yeah we got a publicist a couple months ago oh you did that's not a flex how's that going how's it going great because also because we've had regular jobs not that not too long ago now we know that you have to there's a fine balance yes and you can't just go and say whatever you want if you want to continue working ah especially in today's landscape right um don't you agree is it true for you or you guys are free-wheeling guys and right but still there are uh areas oh yes well you know what it is we're aware that you can say whatever you want but there are consequences yes and people don't want to deal with the consequences isn't that interesting also when you uh come from a marginalized community yes sir you uh your jokes tend to be punching up you know what i'm saying as opposed to punching down yes yeah i feel like that's kind of what we do and then you also punch up yes and you also have to remember just because you are from marginalized community and you're now on tv you have more money you know so you're not necessarily still of that community so you have to watch what you say how you say it because in your mind you're like yo i'm just one of y'all and other people was like yo you have no idea about my struggle you don't know what i'm dealing with so for you to talk on this you don't really have that perspective to do that wow that must be uh provocative and interesting and challenging to have things coming at you from all directions it makes you better it makes you actually makes you it sharpens you because it's like you know it's like if you're practicing football right yes and you're just running up the field nobody's trying to touch you right as opposed to having a coach just bumping you and hitting you with the little tackle dummies and stuff yeah you know it slows you off and you center yourself and you are become a master exactly i like what you're saying yes we need something to i've experienced things in my life that have enhanced my focus and urgency and uh especially things that include a fear factor uh it can be uh an asset and an ally my acting teacher sandy meisner if you ever heard him a long time ago i studied with him one of the things he said early on was where there's struggle there's life that's what we're talking about where there's struggle there's life yes give yourself something to do give yourself if i'm pretending a scene with you if i need to get through to you for some meaningful reason that i really want badly badly need badly must have uh and it's difficult to get and you're keeping me from getting it i might the odds are against me you cannot have it right something like that you can't you can't have that you can't have this jeff jeff you can't have it you want this you can't have this you're very good very good and now i will i will struggle or wheedle or seduce or uh plead or something you know who knows what i'll do or find some creative way to and that's what can make it alive and any story you know that's worth listening to or any football game or any sports struggle it's when this team has little chance of getting into the end zone but for them you're rooting for them and how much do you want it how much do they want it uh you know or like any boxing match so hey you guys are fantastic oh my god the time is i'm not even aware the cameras are on the time is passing and it's uh you guys are so interesting so wow so the book of course your history which i'll get from that book you know which i'm very interested in and you're ready to do all but we know what we actually we used to uh before cover we traveled and we did uh we did live comedy and when we do it we have no pre-written jokes we just get up there and freestyle the whole thing for like two hours you didn't do what we just get up there freestyle jokes for two hours in front of you you do for two hours two hours and unpre unscripted i is like this interview right just walling yeah really i love i love that you know there's many approaches to that you know jerry seinfeld there are people who do things where where they go we need to craft this joke where it's exactly right but then there's another thing i kind of do something like this because i play these jazz gigs are we on so anyway i play these they're just talking about how they do and i want to hear more about these these comedy things that you do and just extemporized for hours at a time you killed it we did a five borough tour did the show in every borough new york right sold out show with the apollo [ __ ] you know what i'm saying that was big for us for your kids yeah the headline the apollo and like sell it out yeah in minutes fantastic that was very big because they knew you from the podcast already and from the vice shows we have a our fan base called the bodega hive they are the most loyal and they are strong fan base they're probably going to murder us but hey go down you know go down why they think why would they murder you because they want us they probably just like i want to cut off parts of our bodies yeah like wear our faces as a mask oh god really yeah you've been there come on bro you know well i know some out there somewhere in the gold bloom hive there's somebody that wants to like wear your ear yeah yeah oh i've seen the tweets bro i see the trees they love you they love you so they love some jeff well they're like for that age he looks that good come on he's aging like wine it's not fair oh i don't know i lost my hand look at him also i don't know why we're doing like old italian hair yeah show the hair shoulder hair you guys look great now that's fantastic well but that's what to do if you have did you have some receding uh issues i had a it was like 2008 recession up here yeah so how'd you keep it though because you got the nice queef yeah well i'm not fooling with it this is you know for a while i did for some misguided reason for a while i tried to make it a little darker bad idea no this is the way it is this is as is i have a wonderful fella scott who does who tries to make it stop scott arrange it in a in a good way there's another scott oh no i was just saying shout out to you guys oh yeah hi scott yeah hi scott uh so he arranges it nicely but um but uh no no this is the way it is so uh i'm okay but for for anybody who's having a little you know lost no you look fantastic that's the way to in my humble opinion that's the way to go you you know you you you know you do what you're doing and look at that fine fine thing there and look how good you look do you have something uh interesting going struggling so that's fantastic i usually don't wear hats outside really they're bored why why are you guys why is there a reason because i'm very you know what let me explain this to you a lot of people don't understand this we've always worn hats on all of our shows telling people we are afraid or ashamed of our hairlines it's not that we're greasy yeah so if we don't have hats the light reflects on our heads and we look like bagels yeah yeah it's like a pumpernickel bagel and like an onion bagel sitting next to each other and it's hard to edit there's glare the cameraman can't see it's a big thing yeah you got to put powder on our heads it's a whole it's a whole thing to do so it's easier to wear hats i don't know i'm sure they could accommodate anything i'm sure the head is fine so we're trying to come in under budget jeff yes okay we just did an audit we're going to be giving you uh a bill of sell you a bill of goods i think you're i i would say and i'll tell you this now that you've brought it up and i don't know whether my makeup fella scott would agree but all my professional life you get in front of the camera and there's all these products uh anti-shine which is what you're talking about and oh but and don't let him shine i tell you cause i'm about griez i think i'm greasy too i'm i mean he's greasy you're in the greasy but i tell you this i think it's a fallacy i have never once in my whole life and i'm vain i can be vain i've never seen a photograph of myself or a see an an image from a movie where i said it's fine except too greasy too too greasy too shiny yeah i think it's a fallacy i think they're selling these anti-shine things i think they've got this forget it as greasy as we've known it is i have i have four sisters so like i know about t-zones and [ __ ] like that so like no it's a real thing it is i think i used to have to walk around with it's uh what's this blotting blotting paper lighting sheets they've given me that too yeah if i'm not there here take the paper i threw that away yeah i rolled the uh you could roll up you could also roll weed in it i say shine away shine away but you're jumping like who's moving i'll check you you know what i'm saying i think i think if you can't change my t-rex and you're and you look greasy it fits also you should be greasy if you're getting chased by a t-rex right you know what i mean hey wait till you see that i think you're gonna like those also i mean how who do we talk to about being in the next jurassic park we could do that like yo a dinosaur oh [ __ ] yo that's a raptor yo you're the dinosaur's got out mirrors oh yo they got out of the electric cage oh my god a t-rex oh yo that's a velociraptor they've lost the velocity is high perfect all right we have that footage i say just send that footage did you send it uh i i think we've got to go to the set let's go to the video we could be cut into this movie that's coming out this summer that's what i'd vote for i i like it very much maybe like they were like why is there a bodega in jurassic park let's go with it it was a weird smash cut tube i don't understand i like it i think i think it's gonna fit right in a good idea good idea oh this interview was legendary and then chaotic at the same time oh i like it well you must have interviewed you you've interviewed everybody under the sun but listen but um but um i like to think of uh lyrics to songs we were talking about shine what's that oh you know this old jazz standard this will be your shining hour come and happy and bright this will be your shining hour look that up oh everybody sings that i like that i think that could be our theme song when we go out on the all right let's sing it again this will be your shining hour [Music] [Applause] i just got the wrap it up sign because apparently we're having too much fun really we really honestly we're running out of space on the camera but this is digital now but after a legendary interview like that listen the bodega everyone that comes to the bodega is an illustrious guest you are one of our most illustrious guests jeff you get a neon sign it can oh this yes i love you so much you deserve it i love you so much come on man you're a religion i'm so happy to be here thank you this is unforgettable this goes in my treasure box oh of memories and experiences oh it really does let's seal it what would you like your neon sign to say it could be a phrase it could be a name it could be whatever you want it to be my brother [Music] is there anything else let me see i may see ah you know whether it's sort of yeah how about uh double top yeah well i don't know about that wow shine let's find shine yes yes yes okay there we go okay sorry ladies and gentlemen yo welcome to the jesus marrow youtube channel that's right you know what i'm saying like subscribe you know what i mean that's right we got a lot of digital content in here to keep you up in between our shows so be sure to like subscribe and 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Channel: DESUS & MERO

Views: 190,235

Keywords: Bodega, Bodega Boys, Bodega Hive, Bronx, Late Night, Mero, TV, comedy, coronavirus, covid-19, desus & mero, desus and mero, desusnice, podcast, politics, quarantine, social distance, talk show, thekidmero, trends, tv talk show, sundays, Jeff Goldblum Interview, Jeff Goldblum Desus and Mero, Jeff Goldblum Desus and Mero interview, Jeff Goldblum DM Interview, Jeff Goldblum Job Experience, Double Toppy, Facing consequences, Hairlines, Male grooming, Jeff Goldblum Candid Interview, Jeff Goldblum

Id: ZpigYv8aUXs

Length: 20min 33sec (1233 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 19 2021