JARED IS BACK!!! I The LoPriore Podcast #096

[Music] [Music] getting them bubbles whopping them up and swapping my ass Frack the front front to back I get in my crack cleaning I doing that [ __ ] I love her so much I'm doing it there yeah swatching my ass do my thing for my brothers and [ __ ] damn why three y'all in there that's my mother and [ __ ] you wanna save water making us clean and then come adults I was like I'm taking a bath taking a bath three boys in a bath three boys in a bath three boys in the bath three boys in a bath three boys in a bath three boys three boys in the bathroom three boys in a bath I got that water I got that soap bubbles some in the bottle some come on the roads I got my ducking I'm feeling lucky three boys in the bath this [ __ ] is monkey we like some suits leave me alone we Rising wrong we also born in Mama yelling keep the water in the tub we like a feeling we don't give a full three boys three boys three boys in the bath three boys in the bath three boys in the bath slippery boys in the bathrooms he boys in the bath yeah we in the bath we playing games jabber going on boys he boys saying crazy he was like what happened if I pull this drain dude it's gonna suck me down or go through the pipes come out on the other side of town this is what we deciding what we doing dog oh that's just how I live my life I'm thugging dog oh catch me in that fast that low priori suits pass doing that thing every night until we poop poop three boys in the bath bubbles three boys three boys in the bathroom three boys three boys three boys big boys three boys in the bath my sister next she wanna hurry damn I'm rolling around I'm shooting shots like Curry well I'm trying to take my time and [ __ ] but my mama flipping down she on mining [ __ ] damn my mama chill let me take my time Mama the soap getting lost it's kind of grime it got it all around to look at me shower head now we in the bathrooms three boys three boys three boys oh three boys take a bath together oh damn boys in the bass boys in the bad three boys in the past three boys in the baths three boys in the bathroom three boys in the bath three boys in the bath yeah dude boy's in a bath bro we did it nailed it absolutely [ __ ] crushed that three boys in the back why did Mom make us all take [ __ ] baths together um yeah it was uh two time consuming to uh all that water to bathe three separate dudes at once was that Mom and Dad's house that we lived in or did they did they pay a landlord or something that was the basement apartment of 1566. oh so that was that it certainly was Oh I thought that was a Pine Crest or whatever not pineapple across Hill no I thought Cross Hill we were all in that bath together Cross Hill the bathroom it was into the left and the toilet was at the edge that shot that we're in and that one is Us in the bath and the toilet is to the right you know if you well you know better than us you're really older yeah why I don't understand is that like a is that a poor thing is that a Hispanic thing like I'm sure everybody like [ __ ] like bathed with their younger siblings but you're like nine years older than us yeah yeah why'd you make you get in there to because I was the Lifeguard yeah I was making sure nobody but you were also you were also the the right age at the time where it was like it was just like three boys in a bath but but but though it is funny because Jared's laughing in the picture or Jared's like smiling in the picture I'm doing whatever and then you're you're up like waiting for the toy to play with next and like your little ass D is just out it's the same it's the same size it has not it's the same size let me let me let me at the same time it's the same size uh but I wanted to ask you though do you remember because we were so young back then were we hard to get in the bath I don't remember I mean boys go through their stages where they just refuse soap and water it's just a rebellion yeah um I don't remember I think I mean honestly looking at that picture I don't think anybody had to have their arm Twisted again we're having a [ __ ] blast it's good bonding time yeah I mean and amongst Brothers you know you get you're gonna every now and then probably I would assume based on our living and and bringing like up it was uh it was definitely a hot water thing it had to be right yeah it had to be like it had to be a money-saving yeah it was and it was a time and it kills uh I mean and you save time yeah and and because there's so many bodies in there you create like a a current yeah so you like bathing it's like a washroom yeah but I just if you really think but I love how dirty that water was though if you look at that picture it doesn't it's murky yeah yeah well the younger ones are probably we were probably more worried that you were gonna [ __ ] in it yeah well yeah that too and like the baby hands down I had the most filth on me going in there maybe yeah because you were younger you probably had like because like I said before you know how little kids they just get sticky and [ __ ] and they just have like they just have like concealed like [ __ ] uh uh a congealed like Ice uh fruit ice on their mouth yeah like the Cherry stuff and I always said like little kids could probably climb walls like Spiderman sticky yeah Gatorade lip yeah there's a Gatorade lips yeah I think I think now that it makes sense as as a parent and like you're trying to rush your kids to bed you get three in there you three birds one bath yeah right you get them out you save water you save time um and it's and you you probably just like it's less chaos all right well let me ask you a question yeah with your kids did you like when you were like yo I'm gonna take a shower so I'm just bring this little [ __ ] in there I did yeah you know when they were younger when they were you I'll tell you a funny story I don't know [ __ ] but uh once once they they once kids start getting getting grabby in the shower you're like all right this this is over yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah [Laughter] great they don't just grab things softly they grab them no they're pulling that [ __ ] up and I remember I remember like I I remember like looking first of all like bathing your kids is such a like it's such a it's such a sweet thing like thing a moment between like you know parent and child yeah it's very like before that they're in these little like you know these little seats that are like recline that you pay them in everybody's got like these tiny little baby tubs inventions but at some point it's like I'm in there showering and I have the baby and I'm holding them like it's normal but once a kid is like out of your grip and you're closing your eyes and washing your face you don't want to they're gonna start grabbing all this [ __ ] you gotta be like all right listen this we got to separate these these shower times now it's getting out of it so like what what age like do you think like it usually is like all right I would I would say it's so weird because nowadays it's just like oh you can't do that ever I would say I would say probably up to like a year or two old you know what I mean and then after that I think I think bath time for a kid is actually a pretty special time like let them have their fun yeah also you can't like it on the side just making sure they don't drown or like crack their head open you know what I mean I mean that's basically it I was gonna say I was like you can't just like throw a little baby in the [ __ ] tub and be like all right do your thing oh dude you have to be with a baby so you see that contraption that we have maybe in the tub when we're in that picture if I'm not mistaken there's that that ring that's in there that's for seeding a toddler or a small child that can't sit up there's a single picture with me it's like a it's like a floating device basically what it is is it's a ring with three legs and it's suction cups to the thing it's basically like a high chair kind of setup but for inside the tub yeah because plenty of times you're bathing a kid they're all slippery and you turn to like grab something the kid just down there like Jesus Christ you're baywatching trying to get the kid out do you ever like do you guys ever think like do you ever try to go back to your very first memory like ever like do you ever just like take the timeline down you're like what's the [ __ ] first thing you remember as a kid yeah Jared Do you have do you have one like how far back do you think I definitely do I want to say most of my most I was actually just talking about this we literally 48 hours ago yeah um I I would I want to say that my youngest memories as as a kid is being in the garden with grandpa um and also um being at Richter Park yeah at the park at PS 22. like when you were a kid kid when I was a kid not like high school no no no I'm talking like I can remember that time at five or six years old and then everything is kind of scattered about like it's funny and then you know once you start partying you're like I can't remember I mean five years of my life I can go back to so many like I go back to Danny uh burning his finger on the lamp that my that our mom had for like filming or something like and his [ __ ] dude yeah and then I did it and then I did it again with the car cigarette lighter oh yeah he did I remember that and you're gonna make rings yeah doing a McDonald's drive I remember Danny one time put his hand into a tin can um yeah yeah look there's a scarf right there and his finger you know oh Jesus you know you know it's like crazy listen you know when you you know when you kind of you you basically you you like you can open the top of it and then you leave it to where like a slab of it is still connected and then what you would do is after you emptied out you push the lid back in but if it's basically like a Chinese finger trap yeah if you put your finger in there you can't pull it out and Danny did that and cut his fingers yeah I I remember that dangerous I remember that um only because of like uh the trauma it caused like Mom and Dad yeah I remember their faces I don't remember the pain or anything but like I do I do yeah I do remember that because mom like you know Mom is mom lost her [ __ ] mind can you do mom right now oh my God oh my God [Music] do you remember Kathy you used to hold her breath yeah Kathy was trying to like train for the Marines she knew that it was going to be like a traumatic experience for anyone Kathy actually did it to where she would lose Consciousness yeah Kathy used to hold her breath like she was like a Cuba Gooding Junior in that [ __ ] diving movie Yes were they like challenges are they like challenging each other yeah you have to like open the mask oh the diver or whatever the [ __ ] Men of Honor it was called men of honors yeah Robert oh [ __ ] yeah it was accidentally it was the first DVD that anybody had ever bought me I think Alex Rosenstein bought me that that that uh DVD yeah I watched a movie like 50 times it was a very good movie I think um uh Gooding might have actually won an award for that movie or was nominated I think he won for Jerry Maguire yeah yeah break danced yeah like Robert De Niro call them like cookie yeah he called him cookie which I think was like a racial term for the times because then like when the courtroom he like can't walk yeah and Robert De Niro shows up yeah like his leg Yeah he like helps him walk because so he has to walk in this [ __ ] super weighted suit to get clear to like do diving oh so in the courtroom like Robert Robert De Niro shows up to like like Inspire him but he's like still racist but he had lost he's like yeah he's like walk to me cook it yeah yeah it's like it's like [ __ ] like in Gran Torino where he's like still a [ __ ] like he's still a racist [ __ ] but he's like I kind of like you though you goddamn Asian [Laughter] I remember me and John went to go see and we were like Jesus Christ like this is so [ __ ] racist yeah Gran Torino was an uncomfortable watch but it's but it's but it's I felt like he first off I felt like Clint Eastwood loved it doing it and second though it was it was like it was just so funny because the message was good but it was still like he's so racist in that movie but he's but it shows like he's still a good guy I guess but I've been me and John just left that movie like we got the message but that [ __ ] was racist as [ __ ] mad racist so Jared and you're prowess I mean we've all done this but what what do you find easier to change as a baby a boy or a girl um that's a good question I think I think I think there are more there are more ridges and edges you know what I mean on a girl yeah yeah that's true that's true there are more nooks and crannies no it's true though bro especially when they take like a big ass diarrhea dog you gotta get every credit and you have to you know and as a guy especially the age that I was I was like I didn't really have that much experience with maintenance in that area yeah it was just a stick yeah it was just yeah for me I was just like okay you know and a girl I was like all right but when you're changing it's like you want to be so gentle the thing the thing that's dangerous about changing boys is that they'll piss right in your [ __ ] face yeah and they're and they're like and it's coming out like oh I've done like dude it's yeah yeah I know you have is it because like a little baby we told that story last time a little baby pen is sensitive and it just squirts yeah I think I think what happened yeah that's part of it and I've heard doctors say that because of like the cold air like the shock they just pee you know what I mean or like more water but they're like it's it was the most annoying thing to change your your kid's diaper literally be like you know seal the deal on those little velcro tabs and all of a sudden they're just like yeah you're just like by the way I love how I love how we're talking about this and Jared doesn't even have a son but I changed up but I changed you guys and like oh yeah yeah like babysitting and babysitting other people's kids and stuff I I would say cleaning a girl in a diaper changes way more intricate of a deal where it's like and and boys it was easier to babysit out of me and Danny who is easier to babysit out of you and Danny well you had like a Wandering stage where you would yeah what the hell why was I doing you would just go to an AWOL you're still like that a little bit Yeah like a [ __ ] Puerto Rican Lord of the Rings dude you would just go off and I remember dude you got out of the house and [ __ ] in a diaper and disappeared and this dude one of our neighbors was like this old like Portuguese dude or Italian dude I don't remember exactly where he was from yeah but it found you wandering like [ __ ] half a mile away from home and there's Barefoot yeah and there's a picture there's a picture of me in my undies and I'm just smiling and my shoulders look swole yeah yeah and the dude comes back and he's Furious this guy is like what the [ __ ] yeah what kind of people let their kids run around we were just like Mom was so embarrassed and I guess I he was like you know how you know you know not you not know how to watch kids yeah yeah he was so pissed and we were all so scared because I the crazy thing was that nobody knew you were gone yeah we didn't know you were gone until he brought you on my bare feet Justin under just uh just diapers just [ __ ] beelining down no Nepperhan Avenue now I think I was I was more mischievous you were brattier yeah you you were yeah you were you were less um you were more rebellious yeah I was a brat for sure but Michael was also high maintenance because everything scared Michael I remember the people you have to prep the night before you go to sleep you're like are the knives hidden yeah oh yeah you were afraid of Pee-wee Herman because he was a little terrified of people because that [ __ ] old Spanish [ __ ] that mom used to uh Evelyn or whatever whoever she made watches she [ __ ] made us she she made us watch [ __ ] Child's Play when we were like four yeah and I called Mom and I was screaming and it was traumatic and I was like yeah but then for some reason I wound up loving that movie though it's weird we were watching we were watching Child's Play one time so the Yankees were in the World Series playing the Padres in the year 2000 yeah and mom and dad went to Italy with Grandpa Grandma and Grandpa and Jared had to come watch us um in New Jersey Jersey yeah and we had we had we had we had a blast I scared yeah and Jared's like yeah I'm just like gonna go to the bathroom and I was like all right so I'm like watching this bro we're [ __ ] terrified this is when you watched like the TV was like only like 30 inches if that if that and you watched it like you're watching horror movies like you're in the movie yeah you would have to get close to the screen because you were the TV was Tiny yeah so we were just doing that it was like old Magnavox and I remember like we're just watching it and I'm mad scared and I just hear like and we're like we're like where is it yeah we thought it was we thought it was the door and then [ __ ] I hear it and I'm looking for it and I'll hear the knocking like and I look up and it's [ __ ] Jared up there pretending to be dead like you put like a dead face on he's like yeah yeah his hands your hands are on the glass like like Spider-Man yeah like all the tips of your fingers to hold on to the glass and it was like wasn't it I could have I'm probably being dramatic I thought it was like lightning there was yeah it was like an old like Twilight episode where like that thing's on the plane if I tried to climb up on a roof today I wouldn't be oh you're back with SNAP yeah how'd you even get up there like what was well there was I remember there was a porch through the kitchen living room area and I hopped up on the porch and then hopped up on the thing and climbed through I don't know where I came up with the idea but then and then mom caught me smoking herb at the Wawa and at the time I was still smoking like out of Bowls because it wouldn't smell as strong all right but I would sneak to the Wawa on the corner and smoke cigarettes just dress like a little [ __ ] hoodlum and just smoking dirt weed um I think Mom actually might have taken a hit of weed with me that night and then like and it spooked her because it was like really strong and I remember her being like pissed off and she was like oh my God are you serious like this is the strong and it was probably dirt if Mom smoked the herb that that we smoke now yeah forget it she would lose her mind all right so let me ask you a question about about weed right yeah would you take in its heyday an eighth of Sour Diesel over what you smoke now do you remember when Sour Diesel was like our diesel like an eighth over weed over like a pound an eighth of what they make now well my smoke tolerance today is is way lower than it's ever been also all right the weed that we were smoking like that it just wasn't very strong yes one's Diesel and Dro and Hayes started getting sold oh yeah we were getting a whole other level of high but the bags were super tiny yeah dude when I first started smoking bud you could spend 10 bucks and you would get like three L's out were you getting weed from back then when I first started chiefing yeah dude I was selling weed remember who'd you get it you still got you didn't like I was getting it from I was getting it from the desired dudes on the other side of town on the south side of Yonkers oh so you went to guys you didn't even know like that no no when I was if I was if I was probably getting high off of that but most of the time it was most of my older friends had it right and then I would just smoke with them I didn't start buying weed until until literally until I started selling it you know what I mean and and I was only selling I was only buying it to sell it and that was short-lived because I was just like scared to death dad found dime bags empty dime bags Columbia jacket yeah and I was literally asleep and woke up to Dad just [ __ ] strangling me he was so Furious yeah and I was but there was no weed in there it was just a bunch of empty dime bags mom came in my room I mean I think we said it on the podcast again but I gotta say it again mom came in the room late night and I was and I just [ __ ] had a do-rag on and I was playing many men and [ __ ] 50 and I was breaking my weed up on a 50 on a cover of 50 Cent magazine like just the most like wanting to be [ __ ] rap hip-hop culture Hood thing Malibu yeah Mom just comes in like oh and then leaves and comes back with a chair and puts it down in my room and shuts the door and goes get rid of that [ __ ] right now I'm gonna tell your dad and I was like yo I spent 200 on the [ __ ] yeah yeah I was like I was like I'm not getting I was like I'm gonna make my money back she goes get rid of it all but like next week yeah or I'm gonna [ __ ] it down mom was really cool with like bad like bad stuff yeah like she wouldn't go crazy like yo I had some friends parents growing up that were like OD crazy about [ __ ] oh yeah like really really bad like would like send them to like Utah and [ __ ] yeah in their business worried that everything was like demonic maybe kind of [ __ ] yeah and then like all these kids like when are doing just fine now you know but like that I remember it used to be like my I remember I used to do [ __ ] key bumps in the living room like while Mom and Dad were in the other room in 58 Main Street 58 main streets you just go and they were just coming and this was some reason like Dad we used to love to do this thing where he would come and just be like channel four yeah yeah so like our parents would come and just be like channel four days yeah I'm trying to get [ __ ] sneezed in here dude yeah what's going on yo Danny Danny channel four Jimmy Fallon I'm usually do it all the time she would yell she's like Danny 27. it's Shania Twain concert and my dad would be like all right dude you guys ever changed it put it on just to appease her yeah yeah and then it was like he's like I'm watching the Yankees our parents for a long period of time didn't watch TV together but they would watch the same channel in separate rooms yeah and Mama go and you could tell Dad was like like he would talk to you still but he was like scanning you though because he would stare at you yeah right and then look at him yeah he was definitely like this [ __ ] kid dude Dad it was the king of always knowing that I was hungry when I came home oh yeah and he'd be like he's like oh what are you what are you up to I was like I was hanging out you know so and he's dudes over he's like you hungry and I'm like yep yeah the most amazing like 1am oh did they stop caring like not caring but did they get a little bit cooler I think yes once I had Elizabeth once Elizabeth was born my dad was like I don't know what else to do with you you know what I mean like you're already living this adult lifestyle yeah Dad hated me being drunk he couldn't stand it he hated the cigarettes he hated all of us but he didn't he didn't really stress me about but there was something I remember he said to me once he's like ah he's like he's like getting drunk is worse he's like I never have to break up a fight between my two High friends don't mind my friend he just smoked a joint before he came in here he's normally like not like this yeah but if you were drunk he was like I would watch people's whole character change after one or two and he scans you yeah he doesn't know he doesn't know he's like doing it but like I see it in his [ __ ] eyes like he used to like I could tell he knew when I was because I'm being more friendly yeah but he would but then there were times he probably didn't know right but like he was good about not also getting in your face about it and not yeah and not that Dad was is dumb or anything but I don't think he he didn't really have like the education that Mom did because Mom partied a little bit Yeah Street education yeah like the street just that street knowledge of just being like being able to see it and call it you didn't mean mom was always better at that she's like you're high look at your eyes to this day yeah man you look how high you are my smoke I'm 42 years old I could be a grandfather any day yeah I mean like I mean hopefully Elizabeth would never do that to me but it could happen yeah I mean if you think about it I think I think Dad was my age when he became a grandfather when Elizabeth was born yeah he might have been isn't that [ __ ] weird yeah in 1997 dad was 40. that was 44. bro that's weird what are you 42 42 I'll be 43 in April they were like they were dealing dad 42 they were dealing with like us and moving different houses and [ __ ] and we're almost there we're [ __ ] still losers I don't know what's crazy is like once I went to therapy I I kind of realized like how much like that bouncing around like pissed me off yeah bouncing around meaning what going to different schools and different houses and [ __ ] yeah that was kind of weird because we had some awesome houses no the houses were great but it would just be weird like like we had a dad but like we didn't yeah you know well he was still commuting he was still commuting because grandma got sick so he had to be there Jared just was a kid that had a kid you know what I mean I had to become a girl he gave me the option and then he got an apartment and he was like I'm not [ __ ] going to live up there yeah I was so jealous of your life because you were younger yes and like [ __ ] cool but weak but hard I never realized you were seven years ahead of me but I was like I was like bro he just gets this him encounters get to like stay there and do whatever because how old were you when they were like all right we'll just trust them with the place with the with the kids with the apartment yeah you guys had your own apartment because we were living downstairs from Grandma and Grandpa at the time on Nepperhan and they were like uh grandma was keeping an eye on us Uncle Lewis was keeping an eye on us a lot because I had my pellet gun and I was on some [ __ ] sniper [ __ ] he came down and just took it one day he was just like enough of this [ __ ] why did you shoot it did you shoot I was busting I was like the [ __ ] I was terrorist with that [ __ ] thing you guys were here were you a Hastings sniper I was I was part of the Hastings sniper um yeah there was there was a trail yeah I was an affiliate they were different there were different occasions where the the location was always the same what the hell is that the Hastings sniper was what was me you could tell a story it's your story so the Hastings sniper was um was a was a an era of time where Alex Ben and I um just would snipe people going going down Villard from his windows and and a newspaper and like the Pennysaver or whatever the [ __ ] it is that that the Enterprise the Enterprise that little [ __ ] that little paper that circulated around around uh Hastings news was just like beware Hastings sniper Villard and there were different occasions but I think the occasion I think the actual occasion that was that was documented and put into the news was I don't think I was there for that one I think that was Ben and Alex but they were different times and we were just we were just young dudes with pellet guns Just acting up yeah and definitely a dangerous [ __ ] game but it was crazy I I yeah the pellet gun the squirrel population the bird population in my neighborhood like when I had that pellet gun it would like went it was cut in half dude you're crazy nobody was safe I was shooting out people's like bugs you remember the bug lamps they're like the neon oh yeah yeah I was blasted dude I'll never I'll never forget this prank that we grew up with I think you guys know who I'm talking about yeah we're we're sitting at the 90s for Pelicans was crazy we're sitting outside and we're just listening to like like being around the world like the amazing [ __ ] sample and this kid just comes out puts the gun up to a bird in a [ __ ] branch that we were sitting at and just [ __ ] kills it right in front of us dude it was [ __ ] I I hated Pelican I thought they were so [ __ ] scary when I was I was scared of [ __ ] everything but Jared was a very good animal exterminator I remember seeing Jared one time we were we were walking down uh what was this what was the street Exterminating yeah he would just I don't know what it was his accuracy was another we were walking back from uh Jared friend uh friend Wally's house what's the name of that street oh my gosh I think I was there too all right so so we we were we went to the kid Wally had like every video game and like sometimes he would let us come over Truman Ave Truman Avenue so we're walking down Truman Avenue in Yonkers and there was this street light like that sometimes like it was a big street light yeah and like bats like they go to like sound and light or whatever they're just kind of like well the bugs would be around the lamp so they would go after the bugs yeah yeah so we're all walking home and Jared's like looking at it and then like kind of talking to us like sizing it up like while we're still talking to him like oh like yeah like Street Fighter was dope and he's like yeah yeah so I see him like go down and he picks up like this rock and he's like yo is that a is that a bat yeah he's like yeah he's like yo is that a bat and he's like looking at it and he like picks up a rock and I swear to God it was from like maybe 20 yards away so Jared just picks up this rock and he throws it like almost like overhand but like almost like side like yeah like whipped it yeah you whipped it and it was big though it was big it was a big rock but like it was like a throwable rod yeah yeah yeah I would say it was almost like the size of like uh it was smaller than like a coaster yeah it was smaller than a coaster yeah sure yeah and then I remember just being like Oh my God he's gonna throw this rock all right I'm just alone for a ride on release I remember seeing it leave his hand and in my mind everything everything slowed down like you know like you're like in a movie when it's like the big game and like they're throwing the touchdown pass like it just looks it looks good but you don't know how it's gonna end up right it's in slow motion that whole time was in slow mode and I remember the light exiting the dark and entering the light yeah of the street light yeah The Rock The Rock yeah just just traveling into the light and as the bats [ __ ] swung around the rock hit the back [ __ ] in the head and killed it and killed it yeah it was one of the most unbelievable Feats of athleticism I've ever seen bro it went right to the ground one rock one rock one throw yeah one shot one less point oh man and one opportunity to hit this [ __ ] bat when he hit it Square in the [ __ ] head and it fell to the ground like somebody shot it out of the sky like a skeet shooter yeah dude what about that time I threw that paper that piece of paper into the Corona bottle when we were shooting oh yeah we were we were [ __ ] we were at the bar one night and we were all [ __ ] hammered and everyone's like just loose and happy and we were playing [ __ ] darts and then and then I don't know what we I think no we were they set up a table for you to play uh beer pong and we were playing on the pool table and we're all [ __ ] hammered and it's like towards the end of the night and Jared and Jared just [ __ ] takes like a little [ __ ] piece of rolled up paper and he's just looking at the one Corona and I'm like and I just remember looking at him and go and I just go no shot and Jared just goes and Jared just got that that Jared grin and he just goes hey and [ __ ] throws it and it and this little piece of [ __ ] paper roll goes right into Corona nothing but long neck of a Corona bottle dude didn't even hit the rim just went [ __ ] like right inside right did everybody see it yeah and I think there was like there there were a couple people there and like uh yeah and I lost it yeah there's nothing more and he just like went inside he's like no [ __ ] way yeah everyone was like no dude it went it gracefully it was like it was like it was like magnetized I haven't even better Jared shot story so oh I know this one with your fingers no no that's another one too I'll tell that one too so we're we're so we're in the K we had a an apartment where there was a kitchen here and then you had to make a step and then you go up into like this living room so I was laying on the couch uh just chilling I was like uh just hanging out you know just like getting ready for the day I'm still in like my underwear and [ __ ] and Jared's in the kitchen and Jared flicks a Snapple cat a Snapple cap that's way bigger than this that was huge it bends around the corner it comes around the corner and hits me right in the tip of my penis and the thing is he can't even see me I can't even see he can't even see me and and it spun around the corner and hit me in the tip of my penis that was one of the most amazing shots hold up I have another one okay I have another one so Jared comes home with it that's probably [ __ ] high or whatever he's like out all night or whatever no he's just like when Jerry will come home at 11 30 he's usually plays they're like whatever so this is what it was yeah and he has a quarter in his hand and he's like playing with it and I was like what the [ __ ] is he doing he goes yo do me a favor and I was like okay he's got like real David Blaney on me he was like put your fingers together and I was like which one I was like doing this he was like no put your index finger and your thumb together like this I was like all right he goes I'm gonna throw this Penny between your fingers you know I'm gonna throw this quarter in between here's the quarter I said there's no [ __ ] way so he's a cro he's literally across the room with a quarter in his hand and look if you see the [ __ ] like look at look at the the landscape there it's very it's like no yeah he goes I'm gonna throw this into your fingers but don't catch it right just leave it yeah just like stay like that so I'm like all right so I'm looking I'm not even looking at him throw I'm looking at my fingers so I'm looking at my fingers and he throws and the quarter lands there stiff right in between perfect lands right there and I'm looking at it and two seconds before it was almost like with the bat with the bat I'm looking at my finger There's No Quarter in it I swear to God I blinked near a quartering how did you where was the most amazing thing no yeah it was a 58 he was sitting by the window in the living room and I was at the door and I was just like I'm gonna throw this quarter into your fingers and he was like no [ __ ] way no I licked it it literally Blended right in between oh my God it was the craziest thing I've ever seen holy [ __ ] oh man no no yo the one of the funniest best moments at 58 was when we were all living there and and we were doing it and the choking game came back with like full force oh my God and [ __ ] uh Chad was like Jared was like yo do me this is when Jared had his like curly hair long and everything and Jared's like in his lifeguard shorts and we go up and Danny was there I'm there and he's like you guys gotta catch me because we were we were small he's like you gotta catch me yeah it was the one that put him out so we we put it we put there we're holding Jared no he made both of us do it because we were because we were like smaller so he made both of us put them in there and do it and I'll just it was the funniest [ __ ] ever I was like you feeling it you feeling it and Jared just goes a house he just goes he just goes and he smacks his [ __ ] head in the night in the in the like uh the [ __ ] night table and just went yeah but after he just went house are you going to 58 Main Street tonight is that where you're sleeping um are you sleeping here no I I don't know I'm up in the air all right so no no so if you go to 58 Main Street we did it to Michael one time yeah you fell and put a hole in the wall he's started seizing and smashed his head over his wall and started seizing I remember I flipped out and I ran up to him and Grandma I was like Michael Michael yeah I slapped the [ __ ] out of it yeah I remember it I was like yo we're not playing in the living room right yeah dude you slid down the wall and smashed your head there's still a dent there like if you go there it has to be they never fixed that probably no they did because they renovated the whole thing after the fire yeah that's right yeah so that was a difference but I remember looking at her Jared like this I remember going [ __ ] Holy Spirit I was like yeah no you were like I was so scared like was that was that was that a seizure or was that yeah it was probably like my brain was probably fighting like in and outness like it was probably just like my brain was probably trying to grab what which one it was yo thank God for smartphones because kids we used to do oh dumb and [ __ ] yeah you get into digital trouble but that game became difficult somehow like listen I I didn't know isn't that weird how that happens yeah I didn't know if we're gonna do the podcast and I don't want to get off course at all but I I was watching I was just found out today and I'm behind obviously delayed that we ended up trading a Russian like Assassin for this Brittany yeah guns dealer right yeah yeah we got fleece guns dude let me tell you something and I hate best trait of her NBA career this just goes to show you how little they care about the WNBA they were like this is the worst train ever listen I've been mad at the Knicks for years to be like oh my God we signed this [ __ ] guy he's like 48 years old they literally traded one of the All-Stars of the WNBA for a [ __ ] Russian yeah it seems like a joke kind of it doesn't even seem like it's real I I was watching it I was watching it and I was like oh it's good she's coming home and then I started to get details on this [ __ ] guy that we traded and I was just like dude we didn't get any first round draft picks for it yeah we didn't get our future Russia like we didn't get [ __ ] yeah and I'm like what a shitty [ __ ] deal dude this is what we got back social media did that though social media yeah and like all I could think about when they were trading at the airport is she could beat the [ __ ] out of all these guys oh my god dude how tall is she she's a big she's a big girl yeah but it's so disturbing that that's what we were willing to give up um or give back to Russia yeah she was there for a vape pen I know yeah it's [ __ ] up but it reminds me of the scene of Saving Private Ryan where he lets the dude go down the stairs down the stairs and later on finds that dude stabbing his friend stabbing his friend or something like that it's just like bro we let that dude go you know what he's doing right now he's just plotting to do some other foul [ __ ] to America yeah dude because I'm telling you this we could have [ __ ] crazy my thing is the other thing too is if you're gonna give up this [ __ ] Russian mercenary who was like the they call him like the king of death they call them some crazy ass names that's what his nickname is something like the Menace of death some [ __ ] wild WNBA center it's like at point guard the king of death right that's pretty much starting at death so the craziest thing is is now we have so many people in America that are locked up for weed yeah yes yeah let them out there yeah if you're willing to trade a [ __ ] murdering murderer yeah you're right you're right but big time and uh it's in New York it's usually and it's minorities in New York is it's the worst yeah and charges that people end up going to [ __ ] jail for a ridiculous amount of time for bud is crazy and then they're they're they're they're in Rikers too with violent [ __ ] lifers like maximum security prisons and [ __ ] yeah and you go to prison and then you're in there and you have to live like your life in there because yo here's the thing that happens like yeah I've done so many deep Dives on prisons because I'm so afraid of going to prison you you have to join a gang do you do anything currently yeah is there anything currently going on in your life that could land you in prison thankfully not but being a mixed guy would suck because nobody wants you yeah it would be like damn it's just like my childhood you have to you have to mop up well we don't speak Spanish so they wouldn't let us in no we didn't really do they no we have to go with the Italians we would have to go with the Italians yeah with that too because they're Italian whoever's gonna take me I'm down yeah or we just start our own game yeah it's basically like that that'll work dodgeball when you're a kid yeah we'd have to all go to jail at once I'm like oh they lock my brother up I gotta go commit a felony so yeah he can't be in there by himself no because that's what they do bro I'll tell you that oh that's that's 100 they make you join a gang so now you go in there for this little ass [ __ ] ass charge right that you shouldn't even be doing jail time for anyway and then they make you go in there and then now you gotta you gotta put in work yeah there's another case catch another and now you're in Rikers forever because you [ __ ] got caught with weed we laugh about it but it's super [ __ ] common that you see young men especially going to prison for a small thing sometimes not even sometimes not even guilty of it they've just been [ __ ] they've just been convicted of a crown they didn't do and because they have to survive in jail they end up becoming institutionalized and becoming a felon a lifelong criminal like in jail they didn't even commit most of their crimes out in [ __ ] in the street they did it in society they did it in jail yeah it's really [ __ ] common because they had to put in work yeah well God that's why I used to love watching Oz because I was like yo if I ever go to prison I'm just gonna do what they do in the show but but that show is so dramatic though like so dramatic so much butt [ __ ] in it and abuse you would wear that little like Mitten on it yeah that's the craziest thing that guy lived across the street from us uh yeah [ __ ] he videotaped me and my friends walking through his backyard once yeah [ __ ] weirdo his wife was like they're out there again Jake Jake he should have just dressed up as chilling her and came out or you guys would have [ __ ] [ __ ] yourself oh yeah because he was brutal in us you know I started watching um uh Orange is the New Black um it's an old show yeah the first season was good no the few seasons of it it was it got better once it stopped getting once it stopped being comical to me but it was basically the women version in like a comical kind of way right of us yeah I mean because some of it's pretty disturbing to us too dude you know how that shows the prison gets Anthrax yeah yeah yeah oh that's right and then and then they ship them all out like to like other places yeah Welcome to Oz look kind of dope though like with like the clear cells and [ __ ] I was like yo this is kind of fun yeah no that's right yeah it looked like like a Hannibal Lecter cells the fact that we watched that show as kids is really bad now yeah but Mom and Dad would try to keep us from watching The Simpsons though which makes no sense yeah Caitlyn used to be like that too you like no The Simpsons are like Devil shows yeah that show's hilarious yeah I remember just being like yo if I ever go to prison I'm going to PC and like I know a lot of like you've known way more people in prison than I have yeah I'm just I just know that if I I could do well in PC I say that now but now just being like I can't imagine what 23-1 is like yeah no you'd be surprised how how comfortable some jails actually would be for people that aren't violent criminals right but because you're not maxed out like when you're when you're in a Max prison bro you're in there with people that are never going home you know it's different you know yeah there's jail there's prison there's Max security there's [ __ ] underground jails and [ __ ] like based on whatever your [ __ ] crime was you you might not be in a population where you really have to worry you didn't mean just knowing I gotta stay there and how long you have to be there and then every day's like damn how am I gonna fight we watched us for a year we watch Oz and that scared us out of being like I'm never [ __ ] I'm never coming yeah bro I got a fat little skinny boy blood God knows God knows I should have they should if I'd gotten caught doing some of this [ __ ] not as nice as it used to be my ass but I still kind of feel like you know it would be it would be pretty fun to look at in jail yeah no my ass like my ass sucks I'm doing great man yeah you get [ __ ] I would get absolutely thrashed in jail I would get so slammed no because the thing is like yeah I'd be doing my own no bro like that sound is in the beginning it's a guy getting [ __ ] in his butt I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not gang affiliated never wanted to be never will yeah she's not going there bro I'm like yo I'd rather go crazy doing 23-1 to be out here you would be a great gang the guy though because you'd be scared to look at dude there was this dude this guy's a [ __ ] there was this dude that that we used there was this dude that for some reason uh used to cut he used to chill with us I remember we must have been about 16 17 years old he was he used to chill with us I don't remember how he became part of like our Circle whatever I think he was from Dyckman Washington Heights however this or whatever this dude ends up killing I guess was high on angel dust or something young dude probably like early 20s or whatever ends up getting like wired off of some [ __ ] kills his girlfriend and like some other base head friend that she had like shot him or stab him I don't know I don't know I think he may have shot him and then and then kept him in the bathtub and when the cops came together they um he was trying to explain out of a window whatever but he he tried to claim like insanity because apparently allegedly he was like cutting up the bodies and trying to eat them I don't know how accurate that is where was this that'll do it this was this happened in in like Washington Heights uh and the dude was young like we knew about crimes like people stabbing each other someone getting shot someone getting like you know Beat to Death it was that wasn't common but it was more common than what we were damn and and we and we saw we I think we went to see him in jail and he was just like bro don't ever come back here and see me again like I'm not I'm never going home I don't want to see you guys like I don't want visits I don't want any of this damn you went to see that guy he went to see the dude because I was gonna say I'm surprised you [ __ ] went too right you know we went to visit him because we were like this is our kind of like our little homie and he was he was a cool dude and even my two boys he was a cool he was a cool dude with us yeah yeah yeah and then clearly he was I had my two other friends that burn that building down and uh and a little kid ended up dying in it and uh one of the dudes just came home a few years ago um because he had written in a journal or diary that he didn't mean to do it or there was some evidence that his lawyer used to actually get him out but the other dude that was involved with them ended up killing like two people in prison and nobody knows where the [ __ ] he's at now apparently there's some story that he may have committed suicide oh still to this day to this day yeah yeah he's my age now but he's been in jail since he was like 17 18 years old yeah you don't want to ask you guys this actually reminded me of this Netflix is like all just True Crime [ __ ] like like Americans or just people like we love watching this one do you guys watch Dahmer yeah yeah yeah he wants to [ __ ] he's a very dumb or his glasses yeah I know he [ __ ] our Swagger [ __ ] Dorian I got on the Malcolm X's right now yeah those are the Malcolm X's Nori and them were making fun of me saying that I had the Dahmer glasses I just didn't [ __ ] dying lab I was like yo you didn't watch it it was good and they're all just like Hood dudes they're like hell no we ain't watch that [ __ ] what the [ __ ] we gonna look at that [ __ ] for yeah but bro it was interesting but it's like how many [ __ ] things do we like all of the top 10 on [ __ ] Netflix is like death it's a good rape death yeah kill yeah you guys on something yeah this is one of the my favorite things to watch on YouTube right now so I don't like uh dramatizations of like because they just get [ __ ] wrong well like reenactments yeah I hate that [ __ ] what I watch now is people that commit crimes their interrogations oh yeah them talking and their body language and how they pick up on them and [ __ ] yeah what is it actual footage of like yeah bro it's real it's real and uh like interrogation footage like I was watching one last night of this guy um this kid who killed his brother okay with a baseball bat damn is this foreshadowing me right now no no yeah he killed his don't hurt Michael he killed his brother with a baseball bat because he like ate more chocolates than he was supposed to and like that was like the last straw or whatever he loves chocolate and the kid was like the kid was like autistic yeah yeah so like interrogating somebody with autism's like mad hard because he's like they're so all over the world like the guy couldn't really pick up on like if he was lying or not he was like well he could be answering this just because he has autism the level of autism yeah like he was on the Spectrum like he was high functioning and [ __ ] but like you could tell he was like where's my mom like you know yeah like um register yeah he couldn't like um it's not that he's soulless but like almost like that's the one thing he's worrying about he's worried that he just killed his brother yeah he his autism made him have like no empathy yeah right so it was almost like a sociopath yeah so like they were talking about it and they almost thought that like yeah like this kid it's like gonna get off until they found like uh he tried to discard of uh blood on his pants yeah so they were like if you're smart enough yeah if you aren't enough to do that you know what you were doing yeah yeah that's crazy so what he did was is they found also the other thing was is they found one of their cats yeah with rope tied around yeah he was killing animals he was like doing a whole bunch of weird [ __ ] it's pretty common for people that that started murdering they start off with like animals yeah because the guy in the interview is like why was there rope around your cat's neck he was like I don't know yeah and then he was like and then later on they were like well listen man and then Jared was he like he was like the Kaiser so say was it was the autism really no no because he was legitimately legitimately diagnosed and then he didn't break down until his grandma who took care of them their dad killed himself like three years before that okay God so then she took them in and he killed him in his sleep with a baseball bat beat him to death with a baseball yeah yeah and then he threw he threw the bat over a [ __ ] yeah over a fence right and they found it and they were like yo this is your bat his window was open like he tried to like stage it like someone came in when you're dealing with somebody who's autistic you could be dealing with someone who has no capability of understanding what they're doing or you could be dealing with someone that's actually brilliant yeah you know what I mean and super calculated and and uh I don't know if they're he was all over the place I don't I don't think people with Autism are often um violent but they are but they know most they can be very aggressive most autistic people aren't yeah they're not right that's what but you could see him he's like why is that hole in the wall like he was just yeah yeah and focusing on other things and then they closed the door and he walks up to the hole in the wall and he's like why is that there yeah oh he's just like hey I'm about to go to jail for the rest of my life they're just like he's just like who painted who did the who's the interior decorator of this office he didn't he didn't cry until like his grandma came in and like hugged him yeah and then he left and then like he was eating like a [ __ ] croissant or something that's when he started to cry because then it became real yeah he's like they're gonna separate me from my nana yeah because they were like [ __ ] because they were like uh we're gonna go to your room is it okay if you go in your room and he's like yeah just like don't go on my computer and like like make fun of me because of my video games right can my Nana come with me to jail and they were like no and he's like and then um and I saw another one this guy worked for [ __ ] FedEx and he had like a My Little Pony like Obsession he was like 16. yeah and he [ __ ] went out went to his job at FedEx and like shot everybody dude wait what what is it what did he was he playing like My Little Pony song when he did it no he was just he was just weird oh just weird yeah he was just like weird and then I saw one of a of a couple who killed uh the mom of the of the guy the guy's Mom okay yeah and they tried her mother-in-law yeah they strangled her with rope dude and Jesus and then the girl is cold-blooded in there she goes I didn't like her yeah no I watch it I try to watch it a couple hours before I go yeah because you don't you don't want to be marinating in that when you're not to go to bed no I don't have night I've watched a lot of [ __ ] I'm like how how come I've never had I don't have any of those nightmares I always have nightmares about like ex-girlfriends it's so weird from like millions of years yeah no it is yeah those are my nightmares nowadays are like Health induced right like if I'm like having a heart attack and a nightmare yeah those are like my nightmares now like I don't have nightmares where like Michael Myers like chasing me around and [ __ ] yeah but like I have nightmares where I'm like oh my God like I'm legitimately gonna [ __ ] die here like I had a I had a nightmare like a month ago where I was in the hospital for like three weeks like learning how to walk again and [ __ ] that's crazy I got I got into like some kind of accident I don't know but I woke up in the hospital and everyone was like yo like you're gonna be okay bro like you're gonna walk again and [ __ ] and I was like yo what the [ __ ] and then I looked down at my legs and they were like starfish legs they were like selfish yeah like I had no feet and like your dream was literally like a three week long timeline while you were in there Rose it was a rehab assignment and that and then I wake up I've only been asleep for 25 minutes dude I've recently felt like three weeks yeah I've recently been falling asleep and within like the first 10 minutes of being asleep I'm already dreaming yeah yeah um is that deep sleep is that rem's I don't know I don't know how long well since I stopped drinking since I stopped drinking my dreams have gone [ __ ] absolutely off the walls like I feel like even my dreams are just like yo we don't know what we're doing yeah because it's just like it's just random [ __ ] I'll just be like [ __ ] a girl and then all of a sudden she's just like is a dolphin yeah like it's just like it's like my dreams are like like something broke in The Matrix and now everything's just like [ __ ] up and mad and weird dude I tell Daniel all the time I had a dream once I was kissing this girl I went to school with and I got up and I was like and then it was my friend Seth and then I went back down and kissed him again I came back up and came up and it was dead you're just dead and dad was just like this just smiling back at me it's so weird because it's it's not gay right it's a dream you know like that's what I tell people like in dreams like one of all right I'm not gonna say his name but one of our friends texted me once in our in our friend group chat and was like yo like Danny I just I like I have to tell you something oh so yeah so I was like all right can you side text me yeah and I was like all right what's up he's like yo he's like I just had a dream like where I was walking down like this dark alley and I [ __ ] you no yeah and you were just getting like raped in your ass Jesus Christ yeah bro this dude had a dream where he was walking down an alley and some dude was just raping my ass was there anything bad going on scared no but I [ __ ] scared me bro I was like yo just so you know he was like what are you doing tomorrow you want to come over he's just like no I was like yo that's one of the creepiest dreams and I was like I was the guy crazy dreams what's the guy that's the guy yeah where's the guy I've had the best dreams are like when you're like holding when you're really good friends with Like Rappers and [ __ ] like I used to have dreams where like Biggie Smalls was like my best friend yeah yeah I love I hate dreams like that I get so sad I'm like damn he doesn't know me yeah I've had like an idle dream I think I was like the round that yeah I've had like Idol jeans like I think I was like Michael Jordan was just like uh teaching me ball or something when I was a kid and I was like hell yeah I'm gonna be I'm gonna be so good and I woke up and I'm like I'm a [ __ ] loser I suck at this the worst no one loves it the worst dreams are the ones where you have money oh and you wake up and yeah yo I've had dreams where I've won the lotto in my dream and all my money was in like my top draw of my dresser and I remember getting up the next day and being like yo I'm gonna go buy some fly [ __ ] and open it up ain't nothing but socks in that [ __ ] and being like so wow and closing that [ __ ] so [ __ ] disappointed and I was like God damn that dream really took me do you have a dream uh do you have a dream that you remember forever like from when you were a kid oh yeah um yes not from when I was a kid but from about 10 years ago what was it oh man even oh is it [ __ ] if it's [ __ ] up it was it was it it was too much do you want me to tell mine first you would think if you want to tell it it's not about yeah yeah all right so I this is the one dream that was like funny that will stick with me for very scary dream and it was so vivid yeah so this is a so we used to live over there on Main Street when we used to live over there and um we used to have like all those units so I have a dream where I walk into the unit uh into the building and I'm opening all the doors and there's a different person from our family and they're crying but like they but like they're not answering me I'm like yo are you crying you know and then like I go on the other one it's like uh it was like Daniel and Jonathan were crying in a room together then I go over there it was like Aunt Rose was like crying and [ __ ] yeah and then like uh like as I'm getting like up the stairs I'm going into all the rooms and like there's a different member of our family crying right and then in the last room which is the living room of our apartment it's empty there's no furniture there's nothing yeah it's just a [ __ ] milk crate and it's Dad dressed in a tuxedo playing the trumpet that's so [ __ ] weird that is [ __ ] creepy I don't know why that like that's so vividly thought out and weird yeah it was so weird I just put that in there how long ago did you have that dream maybe 20 years ago really and you could just see it clearly yeah I remember I remember it was the summer going into my freshman year in a high school were you scared in the dream when you saw Dad yeah bro because nobody could hear no one was answering me and dad was in a full like Orchestra tuxedo playing the trumpet on top of on a milk crate in the living room in the living room that's [ __ ] weird yeah I think I might have told that story about this dream before like maybe on the basement yard but yeah but that's a scary yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] with me for Mad long so this is probably a funny question could you hear what this the trumpet in your dream I could hear that I could hear the trumpet in my dream I could hear it but I just remember like people like sobbing uncontrolled you ever had a dream that you wake up from and then go back to sleep and it continues yeah you've ever had those yeah yeah I thought I was I always thought it was the weirdest thing to I'm like it was like almost like I hit pause on the dream and got up and started like a drank like down like a bottle of water or something and went back to bed and that [ __ ] literally was just like I laid back down I closed my eyes I hit [ __ ] play and that [ __ ] just started playing almost exactly from where the the spot was every once in a while I'll have dreams where I'll like I'll have panic attacks while I'm dreaming I'll have panic attacks while I'm asleep and and I'll wake up in the middle of a panic attack that [ __ ] I've had dreams where I called them I call them Lobster Thomas streams because like I'll go to bed I'll go to bed I'll go to bed and it'll be like the moon colliding with the Earth and [ __ ] yeah and like planets and like I had this wondering once I was at the top of a skyscraper and I was just like No And like the in a planet was just coming towards and there were tornadoes everywhere and I think it has to deal with just like me just being a scared [ __ ] of like weird ass like natural disasters or something like the worst is when I have dreams when I'm really good at something that I want to be good at like I had a very Vivid dream where I was an amazing skateboarder okay I think you're gonna say amazing at six oh no yeah well that's that's definitely in my dreams definitely that's definitely yeah yeah you love skateboarding though for like you were better than I was yeah dude I was I was pretty good but did you skate when was that James jersey yeah yeah because the reason I skated so much it was because like I kind of had friends but like I was looking for a way to like get friendly with other kids so I was like yo if I skateboarding is a good way to do and I was like if I could do like an ollie or like a pop shove it yeah you know what I mean and like hang out like that's when I was like able to like make some friends I would love to pick up games just how we get hurt the influence of all the [ __ ] white kids we were near was also really taking a toll um because we were just like we oh we were out there we're like cky2k [ __ ] Bam Margera just like damn did it like trying to do tricks I Danny we we had that once we had that camera Danny I was just making Danny slap the [ __ ] out of me I was crashing bikes on purpose damn it was like jumping off roofs and [ __ ] yeah yeah that's what happened while we were out in Jersey so we will so we took up like skating for a while and Danny was like better than I was but like I we both tried but we always mom always got us like you know mamas we were like we want this skateboard that he has and she would come back with like some [ __ ] 1980s California wide board yeah and everyone was like you guys are [ __ ] loser like what was that movie like dogs or something that's like dogs of uh valley town or no no Bros of Dogtown yeah yeah yeah Lords Lords of dogs yeah like should we get us like [ __ ] pool ripping [ __ ] thing a vivid dream that I have sometimes too is is I'll be in full football gear walking down the hill to play Walking Down the ramp yeah and that's awesome and then it ends though I never play yeah who's the yellow guy out of Bert and Ernie he's Bert uh I had a dream that I was I had the in where you are dream and I went downstairs with Mom and Dad to sleep next to them because I was I was younger and I was afraid of whatever and uh and uh Bert was coming up as the doll but moving like cheers like this Jesus and his eyes were red and he was like like making weird ass [ __ ] noises and his eyes got lasery and the oh the other dream I had I tell people this all the time is [ __ ] Caitlyn because we were always hanging out with her at the time I had a dream that I went upstairs and Caitlyn was in her room in the dark just going like this like like just moving and I couldn't see her and I was like I was like Kika like went to get her and she [ __ ] turned around and her eyes were coming out of her [ __ ] head and she just goes wanna Snapple because we used to always go upstairs and drink Snapples and their juice because he had a juice wraps yeah I never told you guys that dream no and I don't think so yeah that's right let me do these ads if anyone has to use the bathroom go for it um but uh our first our first ad is our friends over at policy genius you're gonna need a policy genius after you hear these These Dreams uh listen everybody knows the younger you are when you get life insurance the better rate you're gonna get that's just how it is the older you get you get a little more you know bumps and bruises you know a little couple of things you know that might make it hard for you to get a good policy so it's never too early to get life 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good man it's um a [ __ ] damn [ __ ] yeah dude you can't help it out there it's just like damn dude like I [ __ ] tedious bro [ __ ] albinos me and Danny match our shirts I know [ __ ] you guys are pasty do you want to know why I like getting a tan it makes my teeth look whiter too yeah yeah I just bought it for the first time in my life an electric toothbrush a sonic care or whatever [ __ ] dude it's it's it's effective yeah my teeth still look like they're made out of butter but it's getting it's getting better yeah I'm going to get like my teeth done wait no I have uh I have Sibling Tag questions right now okay okay yeah yeah Miami's Miami's been good I took off a good amount of work uh a good amount of time from work to uh just deal with some personal stuff um and kind of just stayed away from the scene um but but you know Miami's always good too man it's you can't you have to you have to do it in doses though you know it's very easy to run out of gas in Miami and it's like Miami can be all consuming yeah I don't party like I used to so I'm not using anything to help me get through those party those party you know binges yeah yeah um so uh but it's I mean Miami's dope I've got none I've got another kiss and it's it's home when's the last time you went to 11. the last time I went to 11 was about I want to say about a month ago I want to yeah I want to say about a month ago but I went to 11 at like six in the morning damn yeah it's crazy that's rough I know what the [ __ ] am I thinking but it's kind of lit though the food's good I get I never eat I can't eat while strippers are around me it bothers me it's like really yeah it's like mixing you think they're like they're clitorisk flakes or phones if you don't want to get like buffalo sauce on their clitoris like vagina skins I guess I guess because I guess it's like because you don't look cool while you're crushing like a wing and you're just like yeah you're like yo as soon as I'm doing these these [ __ ] people oh you like want to look yeah yeah you're like um no I go I have my few drinks and I get and I get out of there I I because you end up spending a ton of bread oh yeah dude here's the thing about strip club too that's kind of crazy that I learned uh and 11 is not a strip club with strippers it's classy it's different it's different classy's generous yeah it's not like a place near an airport strippers yeah it's cool it's classy and they have like four DJs at once and [ __ ] right so not to mention you get there at 4 30 in the morning all of a sudden it's like [ __ ] Rick Ross is performing yeah yeah I mean it's and you're sitting like 10 feet away from it yeah oh it's that popping huh yeah you can't dislike 11. and I've been fortunate you would love it dude yeah and and I love it I'm single now yes come through it's it's fortunate maybe we should do my bachelor party down there if Florida should yeah you should and then we'll go we'll go to 11. there's there's no greater City I mean better than Vegas in my opinion um yeah to do it right now everybody's in Miami bro like every show every rapper every [ __ ] artist like that's where you're gonna find it you get a you get away what I would like to do is I would like to schedule where I do a show there that weekend and then just and then uh do my bachelor dude and I'll get the boat yeah we'll go out on the yacht sounds good turn up yeah so yeah uh shout out to Miami 305 represent Collins uh 305 is where is where I I do most of my my uh trooping around and work but have you ever met Pitbull I haven't damn dude I haven't that's the one that's the one Miami uh ballet statues anywhere no he's a icon though Miami loves him but I feel like I've met 20 [ __ ] thousand different dudes that look like people who want to be Pitbull so I guess probably they probably are yeah so how long you been living there now two years December 28th will be two years and yeah yeah okay all right yeah nothing [ __ ] time flight I remember I picked it I went and saw your apartment for you I just saw yeah I just signed another year for that apartment it's gone up just a few hundred bucks it's not crazy yeah I wish but it's uh but it's a good place to save money Miami's so expensive right now homie like if what's your what's your rent if you don't mind me asking it's under two grand God I would suck someone's [ __ ] dude I hear you that's [ __ ] amazing but I don't have anything but I don't have any of the amenities like my neighborhood's not bad by any means like but I don't live like lavishly right no but you live so close to South Beach though oh it's it's a 15 minute ride it's six miles away on my motorcycle I get there in 15 20 minutes dude South Beach kind of sucked when I was there last time though it was yeah you were there during covet I was there the last time last time I came but no South South Beach was lit when I was in the Versace Mansion yeah I dude I have I'm so lucky that I have so many connects that I've met through my through my job where it's like I don't wait on any lines I go to any club that's the only way that's the only way to do Miami they're like comp in a bottle for me these owners that's the only way yeah nice people especially to do it it's like 11 bro they show us so much love yeah bro like literally I've gone into 11 and I'm not like bragging or anything but they've been like welcome you know like our lady of Rocco or Carbone like good to have you guys here I'm looking at the screen like holy [ __ ] but they're so cool with us that it's like I don't take advantage of it but every now and then if I call and I'm just like yo I want to pull up and I just want to come like a few friends I don't want to do anything crazy they're like yo we got you table yo we got you two bottles that's the only way to do the girls over and I'm just like holy [ __ ] it makes me look like the man yeah like two like like three of my homegirls from New York came down and they were celebrating one of the girls birthdays and I linked them with my girl they went to the club and blah blah blah and they're doing their thing and and after that we go out to the club and we're going from like Club to Club to club and these girls are like bro did we spend any money tonight and I'm like I hope you tip somebody because that's all you got to do yeah she's like dude she said how much do you think A Night Like This would have cost us if we had come out of pocket I said well we probably would have spent like two weeks Miami gives Miami girls get drinks on a regular like dudes don't get free drinks especially with Miami Miami gives hope to like an old guy who thinks he can't party anymore uh let me tell you something and those dudes will party you on the table last time my girl's kind of the plug she's got the plug down there like we you know I do the restaurant thing she does the club thing so wherever we go they're usually taking great care of us what's your girl's name again Tatiana I was just saying last night tati is such a sexy name Tatiana is a [ __ ] sexy sexy yeah so she could hook 11 up for the bathroom I can yeah but she could do she oh yeah no no I'm not going to name drop her Club because like but but like her Club is like probably one of the tougher clubs to get inside so we'll go there oh bro she would love to meet you guys like all right we're gonna kick it we're gonna kick it this weekend yeah that's cool great she's great she's great company I have uh I mean I'm not gonna do all them but I have 200 Sibling Tag questions for us [ __ ] and we're gonna see which one is you know which one we are these coming in no oh you just had these on Deck that'd be cool gotcha um all right first one is who is noise who's the noisiest you you I am yes really yeah what what I thought you guys don't shut up no no wait who's the noisiest like in a house to live with yeah me I'm gonna say you you Dan for real yeah I mean we're all kind of noisy yeah but you stream like videos guitars it's like tourettes I might be the noisiest because I bring the most people with me like Jared would respond to me in the other room was I actually liked it it was funny all right it's been me yeah I would say that you're the loudest for sure okay but not obnoxious no no no but like you're just the loudest who is the most sensitive Danny is sensitive in a way where he's like where he's like offended by something you're sensitive in a way where you have a short fuse for things where you're just like I don't want to [ __ ] I don't yeah I'm like a mixture of both because I do especially nowadays in my 40s bro yeah dude I'm watching you're a very high school commercial I start [ __ ] crying yeah you are very patient mess you are very usually a lot of people be like yo Jared is so easy going man I'm very depends on who who I'm around yeah I would say I'm very sensitive to the fact like I'm I'm very dramatic right like if you wrong me I'll never talk I've never talk to you yeah you get that from Dad Dad is like that yeah yeah so like I'm sensitive to like but I'll get sensitive over something that like probably could have been handled with a conversation yeah but I'm just like we've got better we've gotten better um yeah I think I think I gotten a little better I think you've got to be I'm not forgiving I think you've gotten a lot better who's uh who's the better Dan who's the best dancer Michael yeah let's get it kidding yeah yeah uh who's the laziest me really I think I could beat you on that one no no you've been very active because you're you're a bit OCD with like cleaning and you're organized yeah I'm not talking about like work ethic I'm talking about life I'm a pig Danny would come out of the bathroom bro I'm like I'm a [ __ ] pig Danny would walk to the bathroom and there'd be one sock another sock undies drawers wife beater all this other [ __ ] come out can we get done a shower you come in the room be like yo it's good and just drop it down yeah yeah so like you've always been kind of Tidy I've always found you yeah yeah I got it from Mom yeah I would say like I'm not like when it comes to this stuff and like creative stuff on it I'm on it yeah I love being creative especially lately especially lately yeah for sure like I'm I'm crushing I can't be mad like but like for me it's day-to-day stuff like like I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] lazy I'm lazy bro if if it's not like gonna help my career and like do like because when I wake up in the morning I'm like yeah all right so how do I make the show better how do I make myself better and how do I make my life better well if you push toward you're not lazy with your relationship though no no no no I go high it seems like you go hard every time you're in once yeah that's why you're the best I think he's pretty he seems like he's got it together as far as like planning stuff for his lady yeah and doing things that are thoughtful and you know women love that [ __ ] yeah I'm good at that stuff but but I think the thing that drives Selena the most nuts is that I could be cleaner yeah right like I'll take like my pills out of like the pill uh like uh like behind the mirror and I'll leave them on the sink like instead of like just putting them back right right right if you know what I mean like and you think about it you're like I'm not gonna put those yeah you want to know what kind of contemplate replace putting them back and you're like nope I think I'm so far gone that I don't even think that I'm so forgetful I'm a very forgetful person gotcha like uh I'll be like oh my God like yo I really just didn't do that and like it's almost like I don't give a [ __ ] which is no and I know that it's real because back in the day I used to be like yo is he [ __ ] with me because like you wouldn't you would be like what and I was like yo is this kid serious I just said like a whole thing but I it I could tell after a while I was like it's 100 Danny's just like his his brain's just on something else at the time yeah I'm always like honestly you know when I wake up it's like all right I'm gonna make sure like my dogs are good so I could do whatever it is I want to do these get so all right we gotta keep going though because these get so good yeah uh not to interrupt no no no no no who's better at who's the best at keeping a secret foreign because I have secrets I've told him that have gotten back to you really and funny yeah and vice versa really yeah yeah can you can you can you really yeah I kind of find myself to be a good secret no no no I don't really think it's you probably told a secret so I'll tell you who's not the best oh my God forget it get out tell us what I mean wait this is what I mean by that in in that certain situation I feel like amongst Brothers it's not really a secret no I agree maybe I transferred that message out of concern yeah yeah it was transferred out of concern yeah so I was just like okay all right so like I didn't take it like oh like you ratted on me I was like just kind of like looking out for me yeah right I mean like yeah it's really I mean I thought you were gonna you're keeping it had a friend that murdered two people and chopped up their faces and ate it yeah I'll tell you this um I'm really good at keeping the secrets that need to be kept secret right me too because it's like a moral thing yeah yeah like if you like if you came to me and told me like yo what's up like yo I'ma go here but like don't tell like them I went here yeah I'll just be like now you just asked me to lie for you yeah yeah you know like I'm not gonna do that I mean you know what I mean for you I'll do it right right like I'm not gonna feel good about it because now now I'm now I'm in it with you right right now yeah now I'm a coach now I'm an accessory yeah I'm an accessory and a co-defendant at this point so like I've always thought to myself if you ever have a secret that you because Secrets burn you up and you really want to tell somebody yes it's like when you have a Christmas gift for somebody you're just like you want to know what I got you yeah you want to open it before Christmas yeah you you the best way to do that is just pick one person that you could tell that to because you know if it gets out you know who it was that yeah that that letter but you know what I mean but I've told secrets that I've been told secrets that I'll never even talk about again yeah right like someone told me that secret and I've never even spoken about yeah you're just like yeah do you guys have secrets that you still have never told anybody um yeah yes I do but nothing like it's nothing that would be like oh damn but like no it's more like for me personal things no for me it's like more like embarrassing things well I think yeah like like moments like I've had when you were a kid yeah you know when I was a kid yeah mostly when I was a kid yeah I think for me those any of those those type of Secrets is just like the one other entity that needs to know is the higher power also not everything not everything needs to be known yes all right who likes sharing their clothes shoes and food more I think I think you've gotten better you've gone so 100 like literally tonight literally tonight yeah I've gone I've gone out of my way to hide [ __ ] from you [ __ ] vultures yeah when you were [ __ ] kids and you found dude hearing a new [ __ ] set of sneakers a jacket a hat no matter what honestly okay this is with honestly I understand now I can put all these respects I was playing with Finance I was playing basketball at the at [ __ ] at the field in this town one of the greatest days and I just see the Y Isuzu pull up and I'm like yo I'm [ __ ] I don't know what it is the Giants hat dude he was playing like Big Pun or something he [ __ ] put the car and break came down while I'm in the middle basketball I'm like yo what's good you're like what's good what's good what you did to my [ __ ] G beans or like your shoes I scuffed his shoes beat the [ __ ] out of me in front of everybody and then let's never went back in the same condition and you and you were wearing his hat at the moment yeah San Francisco Giants hat I'll never forget it because it was one of the greatest days but I get it though because he worked Jared worked so hard to get the things that he did about like his givenches whatever the [ __ ] it was so and I would just go in there and just snatch that [ __ ] but the best thing about it is that later on I would see like a picture on like Facebook somewhere and I'm like you [ __ ] right I would see you wearing it you like I didn't have it I'm like yeah you [ __ ] did see I was but I should have been easier going with that stuff but like you said it's just like yeah and then I ruined it dude and we were and it's not you didn't like you didn't like beat me to the point you were like I just wanted you just [ __ ] me up yeah yeah I was like look what you did to my [ __ ] I didn't get it as a kid but I get it now my thing was is it once I once I started doing better in life it's like I'll never let you guys like have like a whack pair of shoes on yeah yeah yeah you guys represent me you got so bad I did this [ __ ] make me look I did don't make me lose one day I did this on purpose one day I was at uh I was at Burlington Coat Factory I'll go yo I'm gonna buy these terrible shoes that are like running shoes for like 20 and uh I was on Mom and Dad's couch my my legs crossed like this and I said I said uh I said you competent or are you shopping or not copping it's like Danny Danny goes yo bro please take those off I'll give you whatever you want when you're little when you're the little brother it's more of like you guys should give me everything yeah but then when you get older it's like you understand like yeah you just want to make people you people that you like love I just love I just love making people happy yeah I love making people happy and not to the point where it's like I'm not good you know I'm smart about it I'm smarter about it for sure but that's why Danny is hands down more generous with fashion and style and clothes and sneakers and things like that I've left Danny's house with like a [ __ ] truckload of [ __ ] yeah and because he's just trying to like dump [ __ ] out too because he's had so much success I did when you showed me your sneaker collection and the I forgot where you were living at the time where we had that little patio that the dogs would go out and I Danny opened his closet and I swear to God it was literally just a closet of sneakers and I was like bro all hate dude all all gas like all dope pairs but like but like repeat sneakers too so he'd have extra Pairs and he'd be like yo this is like eight and a half this [ __ ] doesn't fit me you want to take these and I would leave Danny's house and have to get like a separate Uber for the [ __ ] yeah yeah I mean I would kick it back to you too you know what I mean give that [ __ ] to Mike I think I I get I've given Jared like resale I probably like one time like two thousand dollars worth of sneakers easily like he's like yeezy's like yeah wave Runners and you know they last with me too like I don't dog my [ __ ] out I'm not cleaning my [ __ ] that's more than that you guys I definitely tell you guys how to do that yeah I've had to keep your Air Force Ones from creasing and all that good that was always me I was like bro you want these sneakers to last yeah you got to get it very crispy with yourself you got to get three of them OxiClean and now it's the magic erasers that [ __ ] will clean I wanted all the [ __ ] Jared had back in the day Jared had Nietzsche he had [ __ ] Givenchy even more no more more you had like Mama get us in each year you had a lot of Puma Paco jeans [ __ ] Jordans PCG boots and [ __ ] all right yeah yeah who um who has who has the weirdest habits uh me probably I feel like we don't really know I was gonna say I was gonna say Michael Mike has the weirdest habits in terms of like yeah like how it looks to the rest of the Earth yeah to the world but like I have so much I have some like weird habits like in terms he's more finicky yeah he's very finicky and like that yeah well well just like the way he does it I don't like that there don't put that there yeah okay this is this I'll move that over you like you touch this and Danny will come back and be like yeah this is like slide it back to where it was yeah like if something doesn't sound the right way I'm like all right like uh let's do this again let's do that again I I'm more of uh a perfectionist when it comes to like like creative stuff but I tried not to be because I feel like that's like annoying like right that's an annoying personality but part of being creative for you is your livelihood too so you have to be spot on yeah you're not like anal about it okay this one this one I want to show our brotherly connections for this okay go okay sorry I don't mean to see like I'm rushing them I want to get them out no no no no no no but I would say that you're you have weird habits yeah I agree um all right we're not gonna say who yet I'm gonna ask the question and then on the count of three we're all gonna point to the person even if it's you you point to yourself okay okay all right so I'm gonna ask the question first then wait yeah three and then we're gonna point out yeah after I'm done counting we'll point to them yeah all right so I'm gonna close my eyes too okay okay yeah Danny will close his eyes for this one all right who sings in the shower one two three there was a song that you used to sing all the time in the shower it's how I knew who was in the shower uh I think it was Luther Vandross what which one yeah I don't know why that's funny not even just everywhere everywhere everywhere enough the stairs I used to sing that [ __ ] like a [ __ ] I used to sing that I used to sing a lot of like Christian music in the shower too but I used to sing um uh this one Jamie Foxx she was like Mary Mary Quite Contrary how does your garden grow I used to sing that [ __ ] all the time yeah and then I used to sing uh there was a doctor I can't remember the song used to sing in there all the time mom used to used to come in there and she's like you should take lessons you got on your Doobie Brothers [ __ ] a lot too in the shower yeah Doobie Brothers a lot in the shower uh what's his name McDonald no I've got it I used to do a lot of that I used to do a lot of that [ __ ] it mostly was uh I would I would like go through Pockets like I remember I just saying like John Legend's like first album yeah three minutes this is this is I can't it's gonna come to me like when I'm back on when I'm on the plane on my way back to [ __ ] Miami I'm like that's the song yeah it might have been R Kelly it might have been Kells yeah all right I have a question it's probably I Wish by R Kelly I just sing that one a lot I have a question for Jared because me and Danny would both fit fit uh the same answer okay what does me and Danny's favorite video video game of all time Metal Gear Solid yeah he knows he knows that game was good for its time wasn't it and it's aged so [ __ ] well I think they're they're remaking yours for a while before that though was Final Fantasy Yeah final fantasies any vet was the master of gifts yeah on Christmas and he said bought me my first pair of Jordans dude sixes the ones that have the holes in the tongue yeah are those sixes yes yes and I love Mom and Dad and I get it they had five kids they had to pay for way other shits too like she didn't have any kids she had like a dope ass job advertising or something Uncle Joe used to trick off and like and break down was Uncle Joe good uncle Joe's yeah Uncle Joe yeah Joe used to go for it yeah yeah um okay and then I think we could we could do one more yeah keep going all right let's do it people want to hear I know all right let's get let's get let's get juicy with it who's the most intelligent um not me I don't think I am either I think I think we're intelligent in different ways Jared's got more experience with certain things I think Jared is those books smart I think if if we were to be given a test right now if we were on Jeopardy yeah I feel like I'm I feel like I might even I feel like I would I would I would carry the team yeah if we were on Wheel of Fortune honestly the most intelligent out of all of us is dead yeah yeah our dad is a plethora of random knowledge time with Dad it was probably Jared so I have to say Jared he's like a savant you're like remembers everything dude he'd be in the kitchen like fixing something like under the [ __ ] sink and Jeopardy would be playing like in the like two rooms away yeah and he would and he'd like who was Henry the eighth and and and and like literally [ __ ] was like who was Henry the eighth and I'm like dude and would go on yeah yeah to the point where it's like almost kind of scary yeah like bro how do you remember this [ __ ] he goes honestly I don't even remember where I it was like Slumdog it's like how do you remember and even have these stories of how he acquired he read a lot Dad read a lot he studied he he was just like he watched the [ __ ] dad's probably watching is there any other human being I've ever met in my life um so so I would say I would my vote would be if if they handed us a Scholastic test right now I would say Jared would probably do the best okay I appreciate that I yeah um I don't know but if it was Wheel of Fortune I'm smoking everybody dude you were great at Wheel of Fortune I remember one time we were watching Wheel of Fortune and I swear to God it was like it was like a thing right it was the subject and the [ __ ] one letter goes up it's like boom it's like yo can I get a [ __ ] n and this is like is there any ends if Anna gets out there he's like no place like home yo Danny goes lemon meringue pie and [ __ ] nailed it yeah I used to yeah one letter it was funny it was lemon meringue Pine I remember looking at him yeah no it was nice I used to be nice too [ __ ] yeah Danny was definitely good at it who was the most immature me yeah I would agree with that I don't know what do you know what's funny you know what's funny I might say me you think so yeah because I've done a lot of immature [ __ ] in my life and I've been a repeat offender of those things and I would say that you guys were more mature so creepy then you and you guys stayed away from those things but you did have me as an example like I ain't gonna do it like this [ __ ] clown no we got everything we got I always wanted I always wanted to be like you who's the most immature I literally wanted to be you when I was younger I was like I want to be that Goofy and that fun because you see inspiration to be funny because you are still and we're always funny and always carried like a group of people yeah with that entertainment so it's like I was like who's he getting this from and then I would watch you watching Martin and then I was like I'm gonna watch you know what's crazy that's like all my physical shaking but again I guess because Danny's baby brother like you would always kind of be like well they're the least mature because they're the youngest yeah but I wouldn't say it was because of his behavior I would have to call that on me because but I really kind of aimed that just at like relationships really otherwise like in the rest of my life I'm not immature at all you know what I mean it's like no I would say I would say even until now even till now I'm probably the most immature but you could own that tag like I said you're the you're you're baby boy out of the three yeah you know what I mean so you're gonna be the least mature in certain ways yeah all right um nicknames that we've all had for each other growing up uh oh I could I mean we'll start you guys throw some at me and then we'll throw some at Dan and throw some of Jared let me guange because you're born on March 15th and that was the Ides of March and you used to rock a Caesar cut yeah yeah my collops Michael Ops yeah yeah um Dooney oh yeah for Danny's Dooney Dooney D nice be nice be nice yeah D nice um um Stacks Stacks yeah good ones Jared is Jared's Jarhead Jarhead yeah Johnny Johnny Johnny J yeah um yeah I didn't really have a lot Uncle Joe was the king of Nick Jonas yeah he was so good at driving yeah Jarhead was the big one Jared it was a really really yeah it wasn't really I used to get mad about it when I was a kid yeah um all right Kathy still calls me Jarhead yeah okay well we'll kind of do kind of a giant this is actually um um this is actually a good one this is not really a question this is just to end it off yeah okay so favorite moment favorite memory with uh one another it's all together yes all three oh where we were all together yeah memories that you guys have of all three that was uh your one of your favorite moments uh one of my one if you guys go first I have to I have to I have to kind of run down the archives for this one yeah I have a couple there's one [ __ ] when that comes to mys I remember after Christmas Jared took Michael and I to this place called Dragon's Den on Cross County yeah so like we would get all our Christmas money and video games and so and then like our parents would never want to take us like the day after Christmas to get video games the [ __ ] so Jared was like yeah I'll take you guys day after Christmas in the morning we'll go to Dragon's Den and so he used to take us to get uh our video games the day after Christmas the ones whatever we didn't get and we got money for it for Christmas that was one of them uh when Elizabeth was born yeah that's another one yeah that's another really big like Vivid one I have for my childhood yeah they tried to stop me yeah I remember no one in the room yeah dude yeah you were like I don't know how how old were you when business was born yeah you're like you're like you can't go in there [ __ ] yeah I'm that baby's Uncle I'm [ __ ] going in yeah all right bro yeah yeah they did and then I thought they had to because I remember Jared came down to uh uh to the he was in like the full garb and we went to like the lunchroom or whatever it was St John's yeah I think it might have been yeah so we're like Biz yeah Biz was born in Columbia press Columbia in the Bronx so we're all married comes down he's got the scrubs on and everything yeah and we're in the Pavilion or whatever and and uh he's 17 right yeah he was like yeah he was like 16. Snapple for me yeah that was a guess so I opened it for him but he didn't realize that I opened it and he went to shake it and he flew all over the floor I was like yo I opened it like Chris I thought you're gonna say he [ __ ] fling the thing of your dick again no no no that's why I struck back later on another one uh if you guys have yours you can come in I mean I have like a time I would say I would say my favorite was either playing uh the dark game with Jared when we were all together Jerry used to do dark aim for us or when um the pool would close and Mom and Dad would leave and Jared would let us stay and it was like you and me and me and Danny just trying to touch Every Girl's tits oh yeah it was there because we were just but they loved us they loved me and Danny because Jared be like nah he's my little Bros yeah there was some like 18 year old girl that would kiss me on the lips every day there oh yeah I think I know who you're talking about yeah and I was like all right we were just a little it might have been it was like one of the one of the like uh concessions yeah yeah a green shirt they were like super cute I remember yeah she was man cute Jared just used to like Jared just used to like mac for us a little bit and be like damn I was like yo like she's kissed me on the lips she's kind of fired um I remember some some of my favorite ones were like when I would get cars when I would get new cars and I would come and put you guys in the cars with me yeah and we would just cruise around Yonkers yeah incredibly incredibly like heavy expletive [ __ ] music yeah oh you know what also was fun I remember as when when I when we used to when I used to have like those like battle royale's with you guys yeah make us fight each other yeah we would wrestle like on the bed and [ __ ] like that like those memories were my fondness I think as kids you know like where I you know you're annoyed by your little brothers but you're also having a lot of fun with them right and uh yeah like those those days remember when we lived across Hill there was that park there was that open field across the street yeah we threw a boomerang around we would throw the boomerang like taking you guys over there and doing all that [ __ ] like that [ __ ] was fun for me because I did like bringing you guys out with me because girls loved you you guys were both two cute little [ __ ] but it was but it always made me feel like you know like super big brother because at that point at 16 I was what you were nine nine years right and that which means you were seven yeah so you guys were like babies and at 16 I was already living like grown man [ __ ] yeah you were I remember thinking like he's I was like damn he's doing so much [ __ ] yeah I was like this is [ __ ] like whenever you were at home yeah but if I bring both of you guys to see to see Wallace that was just you went to the studio yeah you took me once yeah he was dead it took me once but Wallace was passed away at the time and then another one uh was Jared's 21st birthday at the legion at the American Legion oh yeah where Dad did The Keg Stand yeah that was tight that was really good that was the first American Legion party ever I had a t-shirt with my ID on it yeah yeah I was just going to clubs like just pulling up my God all right cool I'll take it that was that was a great one um Mike you have any yeah what do you got yeah I did I did those other two but um uh I would say another great one of us all together was in Jersey Jersey was my was my most favorite because we would go swimming in the beach and Jared taught us Jared taught us how to dive underneath the waves right before they come and [ __ ] yeah so you don't get [ __ ] up a lot of good memories and like I remember I still every time I do that I'm like uh Jared taught me how to like dive underneath like hey go to the bottom of the wave as it's coming yeah Jared got me my lifeguard license that's right a couple times yeah a couple times yeah I was uh but those yeah those batteries became such a good swimmer dude I have so much trouble remembering some of these things but there are some moments because it takes a minute you gotta like yeah it's like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind you gotta like find it you gotta go in there and find it yeah watching Danny play football was [ __ ] ultimate yeah that was great because because he was so surprised he was it was just surprising to me because I didn't know he was so good I was busy getting high and like not going to games I'm telling you I went to like one or two but then I remember he did some crazy [ __ ] at the game I was at and then he showed me video one night because Danny was like yo you want to like see some of the [ __ ] I did and I was like yeah unreal [ __ ] you wanna see a video that amazing yeah I remember I remember like a few games where I would go I think you're wearing number seven at the time yeah you're seven and you were 25 right yeah 7 25 34 anything that added up to seven I wore got you yes so you were seven and I had a yellow T-shirt with the seven and said little priori on the back and uh and Danny just like busted loose and you were running towards the your your end zone was towards was the street that runs behind Reynolds uh that that that street that leads you to the pool Calumet no that no is it Calumet I guess it's part of it but it's like that dirty chained Road oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah any Harry Street scary Street scary Street and you were running your end zone was that way uh and I was on the track and Danny busted loose and well I was on the bleachers and I was and I'm and you know from from certain bird's eye view you watch the whole opening you're like oh [ __ ] if he hits this hole dude yeah he's good he's [ __ ] going and he got through it and I remember just in stride with you I'm just running down the side of the [ __ ] field on the track and I'm like go go go go and we literally like Danny got a lead on me after a while I was faster than me but he got into the end zone but that moment like I was so like [ __ ] impressed but yeah it was [ __ ] good you were so good it was just like I didn't I was like damn I didn't know he was like right I was like this kid might actually like go to probably go to like college and do this putting moves on [ __ ] he wasn't he wasn't just like brute strength he was just like he was a stylistic runner he was just getting better and it was like everybody was talking about it too then Barry Sanders it's set in more when everyone else was talking about like yo have you seen your brother and I was like not like yo Danny's nasty yeah I was like what the [ __ ] like nobody yeah and then the whole team being like like you were like a secret weapon almost yeah yeah secret weapon but you were like a weapon yeah there's always more of us whatever um I touched more Blunts and I did balls back then that's why um [ __ ] what's in another one uh another one that's kind of funny uh uh was or when probably when Dad choked Jared that time because because it was hilarious that was dad's go-to movie like he didn't really he didn't really he choked the [ __ ] out of you because you were older he choked me once I don't think I ever got a choke he clamped our heads together and stuff yeah yeah that was hilarious [ __ ] Hulk Hogan that was funny the coconut we drew we put that we that poor man bro we brought him to the edge so many times so many times that'll be all right it's just outnumbered he's just three little yeah just three little bastards doing wild terrible things breaking [ __ ] sneaking out making Were You There Were You There When church was born Mike it's uh Sarah Lawrence I don't remember yeah I really don't in new row I don't I think it was really high most of that time honestly um shawna's wedding was fun yes uh Kiana's wedding was the one of the best times guys drunk right [ __ ] hammered that's how I found out about gin and tonics I scored three touchdowns in the first half and yeah dad made me leave yeah and I was like yeah the [ __ ] and then Danny and Daniel were just going around as like this couple just like just just [ __ ] being hilarious dude drunk I have to see my girlfriend was there at the time I was hammered down I just gotta have that footage and then oh and I caught the I caught the [ __ ] the garter belt yeah and I put it on some hot chick that I don't remember who that was and I I did like a I was like going like this on her it's like thrusting and [ __ ] and everyone was laughing [ __ ] freaking on it yeah but then I remember doing that that it was so good and then ever and then watching the video Danny and Daniel are hilarious like in there like they're both hammered hammered hammered hammered and then uncle Dom drove us home [ __ ] bumping like Big Pun oh yeah yeah yeah he used it all time dude I've been playing Carlos Santana Santana album with the uh I used to like go into the to the I remember not vividly but I remember going to him with the uh the block parties that they used to throw down at Dante's Deli on upper hand oh yeah oh yeah yeah like one of the most pictures of view is as a kid with like the Nike flip up hat that's at one of those oh is that at one of those yeah that's it yeah that's a [ __ ] awesome to have those candy cigarettes that like if you blew in yeah the fart bombs definitely can't sell that now they were like a timer yeah you could just squeeze them and then you throw them and yeah there's basically baking soda and like vinegar and a little [ __ ] yeah they were a little yeah they were little [ __ ] grenades yeah little [ __ ] grenades and some of them would take a while they would they were like Duds almost you were thinking you get close and it just blows up in your face yeah oh yeah that's right yeah it didn't go off and then it would blow off yeah those were a big thing for a while yeah dude I almost want to look those up and see uh like what were they called those stink bombs yeah do you ever see that guy Mark Rober that makes those uh uh like those packages that get stolen but he puts like oh yeah there's like [ __ ] bombs and like glitter bombs yeah yeah it's like keep the trains your filthy animals yeah that dude was so tired of getting his [ __ ] [ __ ] stolen off the porch yep bomb bags and it had like there was those and then the fart one the stinky ones yeah that's so funny bags no bomb bags smelled bro there it is fart the fart bags yeah we gotta buy those dude we gotta buy I'm gonna buy far I think they're still they still sell them they're called for anyone else that's watching fart bags yeah this thing remember these bombs were the the little glass vials that you would break and experience oh yeah those are terrible you throw them in the in the ice cream and what you're doing is it has that little pouch inside and it was like the baking soda and when you ruptured it react with the other [ __ ] and then it would blow up dude genius this is like some [ __ ] that's like this was a 90s thing I would imagine right most yeah 80s 90s [ __ ] yeah what do you what are you doing for the holidays me I'll probably be working I'm going back to work we'll do some just sorry ass service there um and then holidays meaning like Christmas and New Year's I'll probably be at work for both and then after party wherever it is that uh that my lady's like hey this is where we should go I'll just leave it up to her if she decides okay she'll be she'll be at work too and she works late hours so you know I'll probably end up at like her spot [ __ ] I heard that what are you guys doing uh I'm going to a cabin Upstate there you are Selena's family I guess it's my family now yeah it is yeah he's just saying that I don't know I don't know what I'm doing I might go to Mom and Dad's oh yeah yeah I have to go get fitted for my wedding band soon wedding band damn it's happening it's happening it's happening it's happening trying to book flights for all of that so you know planning like what other part of Europe I'll visit a good uh that's the best part good buddy of mine please for uh into Milan and he's just like bro come and [ __ ] hang out with us with Milan bro like and just make it happen I was like for sure yeah dude what yeah you're [ __ ] legendary yeah he's cool as [ __ ] like super laid back dude so Messi's coming to Miami that's the word that's the word a lot of shit's happening in Miami F1 is 10 years okay yes yeah he's gonna play uh uh into Miami enter Miami they play in Fort Lauderdale that's good that's a that's a ringer situation yeah he's gonna [ __ ] see if F1 is there for another 10 years like this [ __ ] is gonna be chaos Miami's Just Gonna Keep who else is a nasty football player soccer player that's like David Beckham came over years ago oh yeah that's right yeah he's part owner of inter Miami yeah now he is yeah he's a sweetheart nicest [ __ ] guy in the world yeah that's that's nice very very nice he seems cool yeah super chill kids are really you ever have like Ronaldo in there no no I haven't and I know he's a dude that is often in Miami yeah I would have thought no I don't get a lot of footballers in there um and if you do it's like again I don't watch enough soccer to even know who the [ __ ] no I'm the same way I know a bunch of people that I met through work that I ended up being like Oh you what do you what do you do they're like oh I play soccer and I'm like and all of my Italian kids and all the Haitians they're going nuts I'm like I have no [ __ ] clue they love that [ __ ] I'm American bro they go so hard um I think we can wrap this one up yeah yeah two hours two hours why not let's uh let's get into this miscellaneous miscellaneous it's a lot of fun always pleasure having Jared on the show thank you it's always a pleasure to be here it's fun I hope I never disappoint no no never yeah no no no no I I often feel like I'm out of my league with you guys because you guys have just gradually gotten funnier and funnier and funnier and so naturally good at what you do here where I'm just like I hope I don't know I hope I don't ruin episode four even if that was the case you're the Cornerstone yeah Ryan Blake the real pachu Puerto Rican Pikachu turbo chubs Ally big booty dicks camera boats Carmen Julia Fisher Louis Dreyfus Jackson Corbin damn that's dub John kaminskas Joseph Arsenault Linden from accounting Max The Walrus uh Meg Bellis welcome back Meg Natasha Vega Neely Thomas p-a-t-n radar Taylor Ricardo Reyes and tit bass uh just making an announcement uh on patreon I will be releasing my set from Caroline comedy special super congratulations on I'm so proud of you bro everybody everybody that talks about going to it is just I mean it's impressive work man I'm proud of you thank you brother more to come a lot of time you got to come do some time in the next show so do five minutes on the count of three Bros one two three peace guys go find yourself that's sexy

Channel: The LoPriore Podcast

Views: 22,146

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Id: -FRB6e9wlSc

Length: 112min 58sec (6778 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 13 2022