After breaking up, she would go round telling people things about me... Making me look worse and worse in the eyes of others... Girls who want to talk on the phone every day. Girls who want to talk on the phone all night are a real pain. Hey guys this is Cathy Cat on Ask Japanese. Today we are on the streets of Tokyo to ask questions to Japanese boys for you. This topic is gonna be: What do Japanese boys struggle with, when dating girls here in Japan. Let's go and find out. If you are new to our channel, don't forget to subscribe to more videos from Japan And let's go and Ask Japanese boys... What's hard for boys when you're dating girls in Japan? Girls being jealous. Is there a story you can tell us? A story?
- "Where are you going? Who with?" Yeah I get that a lot. In college I would just talk with a girl, right? Nothing important, but she would still ask "What did you talk about?" I get that. "Why did you talk about that with HER?"
- Yeah I get that. Suffocating relationships. What is suffocating to you? My ex forbid me to hang out with any other people. I got that a lot. What did she do? After I hung out with someone else, she would totally ignore me. So you could not even hang out with another boy? I spend time with another girl, and that girl meant nothing to me. Even girls that my ex got along with, I was not allowed to hang out with. 3 people would also be not good? Honestly, that one was bad for her too. After I hung out with others, she did completely blank me. Problems I got? After going out, and splitting up... My ex tried to use the breakup to make me look bad to everyone around. I wished she had not done that. We were already broken up, what for? I wished she had just left me alone. We were already separated right? She caused me a lot of trouble afterwards. That was hard. After breaking up, she would go round telling people things about me... Making me look worse and worse in the eyes of others... Bad mouthing you.
- Yes. I thought that was pretty scary. We boys have to do all the planing. The plan for a date?
- She will say "Let's go somewhere." But the whole planning of it, boys have to do in Japan. So if you decide to go to the beach, you need to find the restaurant, the beach, cafe and all? I feel like it's that way. What do you want to happen instead? I want girls to tell me which places they want to go to. Then I will take her there. That's a lot easier for me. I find it hard to take her to all the places she wants to go to. First of all.. I don't want to take her to places that she will not enjoy... If I show her to places she might dislike, she might think differently of me. Deciding that is such a pain. There are many girls who take anniversaries too seriously. I don't remember all that stuff. We don't have to celebrate this every month! Have you failed at an anniversary before? I celebrated it a week too early. Whoops, I got the wrong date. Isn't one week earlier better than one week too late? Oh I see. What anniversary was it? I think it was our half year anniversary. Girls who are super needy. Girls that you constantly have to contact. Girls who want to talk on the phone every day. Girls that have to be called EVERY day. Aaah. Girls who ask about all details, when you hang out with others. Getting asked "Who are you going out with?" is something I hate. "Who? When? When do you come home?" Uuuurrrgh. Too much. When staying in touch, what is the right amount of contacting? Once a day or when there is a reason for it. That's enough. Sometimes there are couples, who constantly text each other, right? I can't really imagine that. That's a bit much.
- A bit too much. It's enough! Getting a "Good Morning" message at 9:00 ... replying and then getting a message at 15:00... "nice weather today" is good enough. When Japanese girls get angry, they STAY angry for a long time. How long are they angry for? Depends on her emotions. I want to sleep over it and end it on the next morning. But my girlfriend stays angry for another day or two. Girls who want to talk on the phone all night are a pain. They want to talk for a long time. That's a real pain. Talking many hours on the phone in the middle of the night. I sometimes am expected to talk with her until the morning. Talking until sunrise?
- Yes. I think that happens a lot with Japanese girls... We boys make a difference between a cute girl and a girl we wanna go out with. And that's where we struggle. What's the problem there then? Wanting to go out with a girl is different right? It's not that easy to fall for someone. I think that's the same for boys and girls... I struggle to fall for a girl. Do you also get friend zoned sometimes? She means that you get too much treated like a friend... Those girls will always be friends to me. I will also feel that I can not become more than friends with my girl friends. Because otherwise we can't return to our friendship. Many girls prefer to just be friends. Exactly... Girls having too many expectations is a real pain! I will give them gifts for anniversaries but still... But having to celebrate an anniversary every time is a pain. Presents too. I want to do that and have fun doing it. I don't want it to be like an obligation. If girls expect too much, I will have a lot of pressure. You have to celebrate anniversaries every month? They want to do that, and that troubles you? I think giving something is alright but... But keeping up a high quality is difficult... I can't do something huge every time. I don't want her to expect that EVERY month. The thing that troubles me... when going somewhere, girls will expect me to decide everything for them. When I ask them what they wanna do they will say "anything is fine." That's a real problem for me. Whatever I tried, she was really unimpressed by it. I could not find the right thing for her. She left the whole planning and all to me. That was a real pain. I look like this, but I meet many girls as friends first. But they don't see me in a romantic way. You get friend-zoned. Yes I do. We become good friends only. Even if I wanted to date that girl. But the girls will not feel about me like that at all. Those were our questions. Thank you. So problems that Japanese boys have when dating Japanese girls here in Japan. Did you take notes? The one thing, and I think you get that in your country too, is getting friend zoned. Before it happens! So that's a big issue there. Big thing, if you actually go out, you have to completely arrange the dates We have had this in a couple of videos before if you watched them. The girls expect the guys to take care of everything. If they say "We are doing a date on Saturday" the guy has to plan the places, the restaurants, book it all in advance. He has to have everything planned and prepped in advance. Big expectations there from the girls. The girls generally just want to tag along. I have seen that quite a lot. It surprises me a lot, because I generally think that any relationship should be, EVERY relationship should be kind of equal. So you talk about, both of you, what you'd like to do. Instead of one person having to do all of the effort to keep the other person happy. That's just my personal opinion. I'd like to find out about you, what you think about that. The guys have to do all of that. The problem is, during that, when you going out there is a lot of jealousy and also neediness is a big issue. Might be the same in your country, is having a girlfriend that is too jealous Who won't allow you to hang out with any female member EVER again. Or one who is like constantly "Call me Call me" Even in the middle of the night and all of that. Yeah neediness. When it's over, girls will maybe badmouth guys, will put themselves in the victim role... and talk really bad about him... and try to lower his status amongst all of her friends. So these are just some of the issues that Japanese boys have when they date Japanese girls. So how is it in your country? What issues do boys have when they date girls? I think girls and guys you both can leave us comments about that. I am sure you can. I am looking forward to reading that, down below, drop us a comment. Looking forward to reading them. Also, check out each other's comments. And give each other a like. Be nice to each other in the comments section! If you are new to our channel don't forget to subscribe, so you find out more stuff about Japan. If you have been with us for a while, don't forget to give us a big like and I am looking forward to your comment. Hope you have a great day and I catch you soon on Ask Japanese! (the studio lights turn off)
