Jake Harper, Boy Genius | Two and a Half Men

[Music] so dear what do you see anything you like I don't know it's venison dear what dear what deer d-e-e-r what w-h-a-t what's wrong with him [Music] [Laughter] Jake use your spoon can't I'll die you don't turn off that music you'll die anyway that's better you know he's still gonna be living here when he's like 30. my big fear is he'll still be in fifth grade no he's still watching TV hold on I'll check you hungry what are we having I don't know just tell me if you're hungry that depends on what we're having okay what do you want what do you got he's not hungry oh you were taking her home and coming right back you checked into a hotel no you're right driving that way is dangerous one pothole can change your life forever [Laughter] giggling you know what I mean okay okay look in the Honor Bar for some Gatorade or something hydration is the enemy all right have fun see you later I'm hungry what's for dinner what do you want you got steak's in the freezer I want chicken it's just wrong so very very long one two three four five six seven what are you doing masticating what don't worry it doesn't mean what you think what do you think I think you know okay I know what I know what do you know I know that you're supposed to masticate your food 20 times before you swallow yeah but uh what about the other thing what other thing the thing you thought I was thinking I'm sorry Dad you lost me morning morning isn't this your day off it is but I need to talk to Charlie well good luck they got home an hour ago had a bowl of chili threw up and went to bed because you didn't masticate enough [Laughter] this is cool yeah just one question is your Wendy Cho a voodoo priestess [Laughter] back you know there's something to be said for letting him make his own choices here oh that's a bunch of crap he's an idiot it if we let him he'd go to that party in a Viking helmet and a cape here we go don't even think about it it says I've got a little money but I'm not a corporate drone no it says I'm pushing 40 and I can't deal with it all right maybe the kid needs his own look Jake come here stand there let's try and visualize what your personal style might be maybe we should start with the haircut you know I think she called the other day what when what you want what'd you say um come on kids spill it nope no unresolved feelings there she wanted to talk to you but you weren't home I know that you chowder head what else did she say said what's now I said nothing much and she said house school I said it sucks then she said and that's too bad I said yeah I'm gonna kill him Ellen I swear to God I'm gonna kill him oh yeah she wants us to come see your dance next weekend it says she's performing this weekend oh I guess she has weekend you telling me this now Charlie Charlie calm down things does the kid have to handle eat poop tell me who called unless some guy named will has tickets who's Will oh no she said he'd call Will's gonna call you mean the tickets are at will call I don't know maybe it's your God his doorstopped it eats yeah do me a favor from now on when somebody calls write it down I did where on my homework okay where's your homework oh yeah my teacher called she wants to meet with you when I guess it was last week hot girl 12 o'clock where over there that would be nine o'clock oh it's slow actually 1205. 12 ish you want to straighten them out or should I go ahead take a swing Okay the reason guys say hot girl at like 12 o'clock or three o'clock is to specify a location using the clock face is kind of a map what if you have a digital watch first of all you're not going to meet any women if you wear a digital watch and second of all it doesn't matter the clock face is imaginary then how do you know what time you saw the girl girl and it's 12-0 6 . hey he likes girls and he can tell time I'm a happy Dad yours really yeah it looks great with the stash I've been feeling guilty because you called off your wedding to Mia so that I wouldn't have to move out but then when I did move out you didn't call her yeah so so you know why I think you didn't call her you didn't call her because the whole I don't want to throw my brother out on the street business was a very convenient and Noble excuse to get out of the marriage that's what you think huh yes that's what I think that's what you think you heard me that's what I think yeah well think again admit it Charlie I've been beating myself up buying you pie and hats for nothing there's pie there was Berta ate it and and why is he wearing your hat I gave it to him I bought this hat for you and I gave it to Jake you can't commit to anything can you it it just a hat it's not just a hat it's a symbol of what a okay it's just a hat but the point is you have nobody to blame for your miserable lonely existence but yourself and you can drink Gamble and hump all you want but one day you're gonna have to face that fact shrink Gamble and hump laughs

Channel: Warner Bros. TV

Views: 1,743,671

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Id: pJcBq6B1SVY

Length: 8min 12sec (492 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 31 2023