PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE
SHOW" JAKE GYLLENHAAL. ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU ♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK. >> NICE TO BE HERE. >> Stephen: HOW ARE YOU? >> I'M SO GREAT. HOW ARE YOU? >> Stephen: WE HAD SUCH A GOOD
TIME WITH YOU. YOU HELPED US OUT WITH OUR
MIDTERM ELECTIONS SPECIAL. >> DI. >> Stephen: OUR PRE-ELECTION
EVE. URE OPENING OF "A CHRISTMAS
CAROL." YOU PLAYED A STREET RAT VERY
WELL. >> THANK YOU. THANKS SO MUCH. >> Stephen: AND I PLAYED
EBENEZER SCROOGE, WHO DID NOT HAVE UNDERWEAR ON. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> YES, THAT WAS THE DAY I SAW
YOUR ENTIRE PENIS. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> Stephen: YOU KNOW, THEY SAY
YOU NEVER FORGET THAT DAY. >> THEY SAY THAT. >> Stephen: THEY SAY THAT. >> YES. >> Stephen: IT'S NOT A LONG
DAY. >> IT GOES--<i>
( LAUGHTER )</i> YEAH, IT WAS A SHORT DAY FOR ME. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
YEAH, YOU KNOW -- >> Stephen: THAT'S ALL WE HAVE
TIME FOR. >> GREAT. I DON'T KNOW, I WAS DEBATING
WHETHER I SHOULD COME BACK. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHETHER YOU SHOULD COME BACK TO
THE SHOW AT ALL? I THOUGHT WE HAD FUN WHEN YOU
WERE SHOOTING THE WHOLE-- >> I DON'T KNOW, I WAS TROLLING
AROUND THE INTERNET, AND I SAW JUST SOME STUFF I PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T HAVE SEEN. >> Stephen: THE INTERNET-- THE
INTERNET'S A WEIRD PLACE. >> YEAH, I DON'T KNOW-- JIM, YOU
CAN SHOW-- CAN YOU SHOW STEPHEN? >> Stephen: WE DO NOT RANK
GYLLENHAALS HERE. WE TREAT THEM ALL EQUALLY. BUT YOU'RE THE BETTER
GYLLENHAAL, AREN'T YOU? <i> ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )</i> >> WHAT? SORRY I WAS --
>> Stephen: WHAT? WELL, I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY--
>> THAT'S COOL. IT'S JUST SOMETHING YOU DON'T
SAY ON NATIONAL TV. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LIKE, IF I COULD GIVE ANY
POINTERS IT WAS -- >> Stephen: I WAS JUST TRYING
TO MAKE HER FEEL GOOD. >> THAT'S COOL. NO BIG DEAL. >> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, DON'T
BROADCAST THIS, YOU'RE OUR FAVORITE GYLLENHAAL. YOU ALWAYS WERE, BUT I WANTED
HER TO FEEL GOOD. I WANTED HER TO FEEL GOOD<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE. >> OKAY, THAT'S FINE. >> Stephen: YOU GUYS MUST BE
CLOSE. >> YES, WE'RE CLOSE. >> Stephen: ANY SIBLING
RIVALRY? >> NO. >> Stephen: NOT UNTIL NOW? YOU'RE WELCOME. IF I CAN DRIVE A WEDGE INTO A
FAMILY, WELL, THEN, MY WORK IS DONE HERE. >> NO, I APPRECIATE IT. SHE'S MY FAVORITE SIBLING, TOO. >> Stephen: OH, GOOD. DO YOU HAVE OTHERS? >> I DO, ACTUALLY, YEAH. >> Stephen: OH, WOW! >> YEAH. >> Stephen: WOW! >> I DO. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE OTHER
SIBLINGS? YOU JUST KICKED THEM TO THE
CURB? >> NO, HE'S YOUNG. I HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER. >> Stephen: OKAY, HE CAN TAKE
IT. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: HOW OLD IS HE,
LITTLE? >> HE'S FOUR. >> Stephen: HE LEGALLY CAN'T
WATCH THIS. >> GREAT. CUT TO HIM ON THIS COUCH, YOU'RE
YOU, BY THE WAY. >> Stephen: HE IS, BY THE WAY. YESTERDAY, SPEAKING OF THE
INTERNET, BECAUSE I-- I GO AROUND THE INTERNET, TOO. I'VE GOT THE INTERNET, YEAH. I HAVE IT NOW. THEY LET ME HAVE IT. YEAH. THE RESTRAINING ORDER IS OVER. >> THE SAME PEOPLE WHO YOU'VE
SHOWN YOUR ENTIRE PENIS TO? >> Stephen: THAT WAS JUST YOU. THAT WAS JUST YOU. >> OH OKAY. >> Stephen: THAT'S HOW YOU
KNOW I LIKE YOU MORE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )</i> THE INTERNET WENT A LITTLE CRAZY
YESTERDAY BECAUSE-- >> THEY SAW YOUR-- SORRY. >> Stephen: THEY-- YOU
REVEALED IN THE NEW "SPIDER-MAN" MOVIE TRAILER, "SPIDER-MAN"--
WHAT'S IT CALLED, FAR FROM HOME, LONG FROM HOME? >> "FAR FROM HOME." >> Stephen: "LONG FROM HOME." I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. DOES THE TITLE MATTER? WHAT MATTERS IS THEY SAW YOU
REVEALED MYSTEYIO. LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT, MAN. GOD KNOWS WHAT THAT SUIT DOES. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: HOW LONG-- WHY HAS
IT TAKEN YOU SO LONG TO GET INTO THE SUPER HERO GAME? WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU IN
SPANDEX FOR YEARS. >> I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO, AND
THIS WAS-- THIS WAS THE SHOT, YOU KNOW. >> Stephen: MYSTERIO HE'S A
VILLAIN. >> WELL... >> Stephen: IN THE COMIC BOOKS
HE'S A VILLAIN. >> UH-HUH. >> Stephen: I KNOW YOU CAN'T
TELL ME ANYTHING. I KNOW YOU CAN'T TELL ME
ANYTHING, BUT TELL ME THIS. YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF GREAT,
QUIRKY, SMALLER, ART HOUSE FILMS. IS IT DIFFERENT TO BE IN M.C.U.,
WHEN IT'S THE BIGGEST MOVIES IN THE WORLD. THE BUDGETS ARE ENORMOUS. BETTER TRAILER? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? >> NO, I MEAN, YEAH, I MEAN, IT
IS. YEAH, PEOPLE TEND TO CONSIDER ME
I GUESS-- I GUESS THE MOVIES I MAKE ARE A LITTLE WEIRD, YEAH. >> Stephen: SOMETIMES. SOMETIMES. I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE WEIRD. >> YEAH, I KNOW, IT IS
DIFFERENT. AND IT'S REALLY FUN. IT WAS REALLY FUN. I THINK, LIKE, I WAS LOOKING FOR
A ROLE IN A SPACE LIKE THAT, THAT FELT LIKE I COULD DO
SOMETHING WITH IT. AND DISOMETHING WITH IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD I DID WITH
IT, BUT I DID SOMETHING WITH IT. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
AND IT'S VERY EXCITING, SO YEAH... >> Stephen: IT'S A LOT OF LIKE
ACTING WITH PING PONG BALLS AND THINGS LIKE THAT? BIG GREEN ROOMS. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. LIKE, YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY FLY,
UNLESS-- >> OH, I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT WE
WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. >> Stephen: OKAY. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> YEAH, THERE IS SORT OF. BUT THERE'S ACTUALLY A LOT OF--
IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE-- ONE OF THE MOVIES, A SMALLER SIZED
MOVIE WHEN YOU'RE ACTING-- THE ACTORS IN MOVIES ARE GREAT. THERE WAS A GREAT CAST IN THIS
MOVIE, AND THE DIRECTOR, JOHN WATTS, IS FANTASTIC, AND HE
REALLY MAKES THIS SPACE WHERE YOU CAN TRY THINGS OUT AND PLAY
AROUND AND IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE JUST AN AWE TOM TON. >> Stephen: IS THAT ONE OF
YOUR CHARACTER CHOICES. >> JUST WAIT, JUST WAIT, JUST
WAIT. >> Stephen: YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN
UP ON OFFBEAT ROLES. I SAW, AGAIN, ON THE INTERNET, I
SAW A TRAILER FOR-- IT'S CALLED "VELVET BUZZSAW," OKAY. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: THAT'S A GREAT
NAME. SOMEWHAT A REFERENCE TO
SOMETHING CALLED A BUZZSAW? >> A VELVET BUZZSAW? >> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS NICE. I THINK THAT'S WHAT JON'S JACKET
IS MADE OF. THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL HIM IN THE
JAZZ WORLD. "PLEASE WELCOME THE VELVET
BUZZSAW." PLUst BUT OF BUT YOU PLAY AN
ART CRITIC. >> YES. >> Stephen: THE OPENING LINE
OF THE TRAILER IS SO FANTASTIC. WHAT IS IT, A CRITIQUE-- WHAT IS
IT? >> I FIND CRITIQUE SO LIMITING
AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. >> Stephen: THAT'S AN AMAZING
LINE TO HAVE IN A MOVIE JUST TO THROW THAT LINE LIKE A ROCKET AT
A CRITIC'S HEAD. >> HE SAYS-- HE SAYS, "I FIND
CRITIQUE LIMITING AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO
SOMETHING LONG FORM, BEYOND OPINION," IS WHAT HE SAYS. AND THEN IT GOES ON AND ON AND
ON AND ON. IT'S ACTUALLY A BIG, LONG
SPEECH. YEAH, IT IS NICE TO PLAY A
CRITIC. >> Stephen: YOUR CHARACTER
IS-- HE SEEMS-- HE'S WEARING ARTIE GLASSES AND A TURTLENECK? >> NOT A TURTLENECK. IT IS BUTTONED UP. >> Stephen: HE LOOKS A LITTLE
LIKE SPROCKETS. >> YES. >> Stephen: A PRETENTIOUS
CHARACTER? >> YES, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
THAT. >> Stephen: DID THAT COME
NATURALLY TO YOU? >> YES. >> Stephen: BECAUSE I'M
NATURALLY PRETENTIOUS. THAT'S WHY I DON'T PRONOUNCE THE
"T" ON THE END OF COLBERT. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT MY NAME. THE NAME IS COAL-BERT. I PRETENSIONED IT OFF AT THE END
THERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF, LIKE, DEEP
CRITIQUE OF YOUR WORK? HAVE YOU EVER READ A CRITICISM
OF YOUR WORK AND GONE LIKE, "THAT IS BEAUTIFULLY COMPLEX,
AND NOT AT ALL WHAT MY INTENTION WAS?"
>> OH, LIKE A POSITIVE COMMENT. >> Stephen: OR EVEN A DEEP OR
DECONSTRUCTIVE LIKE, "GYLLENHAAL IS ATTEMPTING A..." NOPE. >> YEAR, BY THE WAY, I DO LIKE
THIS-- THE PRETENSION THAT SOMETIMES CRITICS WILL, LIKE,
PUT ON TO YOUR WORK, YOU KNOW, AS A CHOICE, WHEN REALLY YOU HAD
NO OTHER CHOICE THAT DAY, AND YOU JUST CHOSE THOSE SOCKS
BECAUSE THEY WERE THE ONLY ONES LEFT, YOU KNOW. BUT SOMEHOW, IT'S BECOME YOUR
CHARACTER. >> Stephen: YES. >> YES. >> Stephen: YES. YOUR CHARACTER. >> I DO REMEMBER READING--
THERE'S A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT, AND THERE WAS --
>> Stephen: WHAT MOVIE? >> IT'S A MOVIE CALLED
"WILDLIFE." IT WAS A MOVIE I--<i>
( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> Stephen: I WAS THERE
IMMEDIATELY. >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: I WAS RIGHT THERE! >> AND THERE WAS-- THERE WAS A
REVIEW THAT SOMEBODY SENT ME THEY THOUGHT WAS REALLY FUNNY,
ACTUALLY. IT SAID-- IT SAID, "CARRIE
MULLIGAN MESMERIZES IN THIS MOVIE. JAKE GYLLENHALL, NOT SO MUCH." <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
AND I FELT THAT PRETENTIOUS. I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY
PRETENTIOUS. >> Stephen: AND YOU WENT,
"THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR. I'M GOING TO LET HERMES MERRIZE
ME. NOT SO MUCH." WE HAVE TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL
BREAK BUT WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE JAKE GYLLENHALL,
EVERYBODY.
It's also funny that, at the time, Stephen and the crowd have no idea why he's reacting like that.
Goddamn that's pretty funny. I thought it was hilarious how, as if to silence the people whining about Thanos just being another CGI villain in a mo-cap suit, they literally put the next villain in a mo-cap suit.
Poor guy. He almost pulled a Tom Holland.
Colbert knew.
He always knows.
I think it was a different ping-pong joke he was alluding too...
"I thought you were talking about something else..."
For me at least, there was no twist in FFH considering I grew up reading Spider-Man comics, with quite a few of them featuring Mysterio
You can briefly see Jake look for the Disney Sniper about to fire.
That's incredible! That look like "Hmmmmmm, you think?" And then he says "Oh I thought you were talking about something else" WOW, what a good thing to remember!
Happy cake day, OP!