'It's a catastrophic life changing event' - Barnaby Webber's parents speak out

well em and David thank you so much for speaking to us um we're at Somerset County cricet ground a place that Barney really loved um I just want to ask first of all how you've been over the last seven months yeah I can't believe it's seven months rubbish um words you prob can't say on camera but we've just it's been yeah dark difficult griev and um some moments of light I suppose um trying to find a way through um yeah you know here we are in a New Year it's that was hard wasn't it h 24 um I think you're going through a lot of first all the time and um and then of course we had Bar's birthday uh on the 11th which that was a hard day was a really hard that that must have been a really difficult one to that was the wor know what to do it the worst first for sure because we've had Charlie's birthday when he hit 16 which feels like a significant number doesn't it and then that was in September then obviously Christmas New Year your birthday yeah forgot my birthday I care then bar you know would have been 20 and that again feels you know wouldn't have been a teenager anymore and um yeah that was tough that was the worst one because I just I think because the passage of time because of the the process of the judicial system the rage and the anger um are building as well as the grief and the loss you survived the last seven months and in a way the legal part of this story the criminal justice part of the story has reached its conclusion and you touched on it there Emma the rage and anger you felt of course because of what happened to your son but also about the process over this last seven months should we start at the beginning when something like this happens to you you expect the wheels of Justice to start turning immediately for you to be involved in that for you to be supported because this has happened to you you and Barney are the victims in this em that wasn't the case yeah you didn't feel that that was the case no how did it unfold I I I feel now with hindsight that I was foolish to just trust in our legal system I hate to say that because I do feel let down and I've sense checked myself to make sure it's not an outlet for me um same with you and and I'm sure Grace's parents wouldn't mind me saying um the same with them to make sure that where we have got these grave concerns um that they're Justified and they're they're for for a valid reason rather than us just needing an outlet for our anger um what I don't dispute is obviously that you know the police caught him they've done their investigations um we were led to believe all of summer that it would be a murder charge for our son for the other two victims and then attempted murder for the other three victims it's a massive crime it's a massive heinous crime um and so our we we were ill prepared for being told and a fate to comple from the CPS being presented to us on the Friday before the pre-trial hearing so this is the very end of November that they were going to be accepting a dimin responsibility which meant manslaughter and I think that was the moment everything turned but I think the relevance is the is the date that I've given there it was the end of November nearly beginning of December before we had any inclination so there's so much to talk about support that victims and victim's families need there is some it's absolutely nowhere near enough I feel it's weighted completely the wrong way our justice system the resources but waited did in the perpetrator or defendant which whichever you know route it's not just us affected by this and I I do know anecdotally that lots of other families have been saying a very similar thing you know there it's a horrible Club to be in we're in this club where our lives have been shattered it's a a catastrophic life-changing event and how do you even begin to unpick and Find Your Way Forward especially when it's so high profile when you can't look at newspapers or the news for weeks because your son is on the front um and and horrible stories coming out about the the perpetrator and just viciousness and it's it's it's so difficult so I think I just trusted in that'll be done the criminal proceedings will be done and then we're going to have to start looking at what happened and what went wrong undoubtedly something would have gone wrong in the system for this monster to be out in society what what can we do and have a voice to help improve victims um of crime um and the big huge question I assumed that our voice might go toward his knife crime and and kind of I didn't expect for a second to be sat here saying I have such Grievous concerns and feel so let down by a judicial system in this country it didn't even start I don't know about you didn't click to me that it could ever be anything than a murder charge CES you feel that the police have let you down in terms of if somebody's entering a plea on diminished responsibility the evidence to support that you don't feel appeared until no we no we we didn't know details of um the offense details of the perpetrator and details of parts of the police investigation until we requested a meeting with the police and the CPS ourselves and the OM Ali Kumar's and that was the first week in December so again sort of stating how late all of this is and that arose because we were dissatisfied with what we were told in our meeting with the CPS with regards to the plea so they were hoping to satisfy us in that meeting that the decision had been the right one and we went that meeting hoping wanted to go okay fine so you are the experts I do trust in you after all yeah and we sat through 6 hours of the most extreme trauma you could possibly imagine as a parent having to watch a timeline from 7:30 p.m. on the 12th of June starting in s panras right the way through to 5:30 a.m. on the 13th of June with the arrest and um everything in between and we didn't watch moving CCTV but we did have to see some Stills we did ask and wanted to see some Stills not all um and from everything that we learned from that 6-hour meeting at the end of which I was physically sick it's the most trauma well it's not the most traumatic thing I've had to do but it's up there with top three um it it I think all four of us said actually our conclusion from today is the complete opposite of I think what you were hoping and we don't no we don't believe it I think our question is we don't refute he's mentally ill we don't refute the past history what we do refute is the assessment of whether he was capable of making decisions on that night stroke morning and from the evidence that we were presented with a court have been presented with but it's not a trial it's just a hearing he was capable he had a ruck sack full of weapons he had those with him from the very beginning he hid in the shadows for 10 minutes before he attacked our children and the attack is so brutal I don't know how now I know the details I'm ever going to cut over that um he found his brother about 15 or 20 minutes after he had murdered Grayson Barney and told his brother to get the family out of the country because they weren't going to see him for a long time and when his brother said what are you going to do and he said I've already done it and then proceeds to the secure unit where he tries to break in and then has uh he he meets the night Warden who comes out to investigate what's going on they have about five minutes talk together um he doesn't murder him on his mission to kill that he's been told to do apparently um he goes back once the warden's gone to get an iron bar out of his ruck sack of weapons and tried to smash the window four times couldn't get in so then packs up calmly walks away across to where Ian is attacks Ian takes a van and then the arrested as documented stops at red lights slows down for Speed bumps I cannot see how for such a protracted period of Time how that's proven psychosis that he wasn't capable of making decisions that's our question we've been told by many people and we've got lots of I said lots of sort of different different angles around us and they've all said it doesn't end it doesn't end with the trial it doesn't end with sentencing the things can change I me the coroner hasn't as far as I understand has they haven't been involved properly yet so you know well they have obviously but they not they haven't done their inquest that will happen that can cause that can cause things to change I guess we just have to wait and see what happens a big part for any family going through something like this a hearing a sentencing if it goes to a trial is your impact statement your chance to not speak through lawyers but to say in your own words to the man who carried out the attacks on your child exactly what this has done to you as a family what is it that you wanted to make clear in that statement yeah I think it's for me it was it's the destruction it's it's the I mean it's the senselessness of what he's done but it's the destruction he's caused to not only our family to myself Emma and and and Charlie but to The Wider family to the Friends he's caused and that's just our side he's caused this huge ripple effect he's damaged people's lives forever he's effectively sentenced us to a life of of this through no fault of our own certainly no fault of barnab Grace orans um and and and the three other victim it's just he has he he's he's done something that is unforgivable and to me I want him to know that and he needs to know that that it isn't something and I'm not just as a father of course I'm never going to forgive him how could you and how could any I challenge anyone that said they could forgive you you cannot but I don't think I don't think the public would forgive him because I think once you actually hear what he's done and how he's done it it's just like no it's unforgivable this isn't just a you know to me it's not like a pub braw that's gone wrong it's it's it's premeditated he's thought about it you know at any point he could have stopped I want him to know that I don't believe him I don't believe the stuff that's coming out of his mouth now he's he's manipulative he's a liar he's done it in the past he's doing it now but now he's just a murderer but that yeah I think it's it's about not giving him too much power I mean I I address part of my Victim Impact statement to him because it's important and relevant to do that but what he's done is I I open with Barney didn't lose his life in Nottingham because it was stolen it was taken from him and it's it's the taking of a life he had a right to life he had a right to a future and what's happened is it's impacted everybody's future but it's taken in his future um and I have no capacity to forgive and I do hope that one day he feels true remorse for what he's done because that will be crippling for him and probably his family as well but it's it's about the loss for us from him being taken and that that's what mine was focused on and the one of the hardest things as a parent was um Char who's 16 having to having not being at at the hearing um which you feel is is appropriate but he wanted to have his voice heard and that's entirely appropriate so he had to record his victim impact statement for the murder of his brother the brutal senseless murder of his brother and watching him struggle and to do that was so painful and makes you so angry cuz it's that that's been impacted it's his future too he's got a future and we'll give him the best future he could possibly have but it will be a different one than the one we planned how you you never sto grieving no you learn to live with it and when a loved one is stolen from you I won't say lose because in your circumstances you're quite right he was stolen from you what does that look like dayto day how do you include Barney as part of your family because you are a family his room is still pretty much as it was when he left um so we've we we we cons just we don't want it to turn to a shrine for him because otherwise that's going to be a Perpetual thing that's going to just bring us down but we've left it as it is at the moment and and I mean person put the light on every night yeah the lights on you know initially we shut the door which you know for yeah and then we both we all well I think Charlie wanted the door shut and then we we both discussed it we didn't want it shut and then we said look you need to let Barney back into our life again so we have to open that door um and he's he's loved it so I catch him quite often going and sitting in there and talking to Barney he put some weird like sweets out on Barney's desk what they called oh I don't know bought he bought some horrible sweets but apparently they were Barney's favorite he liked them so he bought and gave them to put them on Charlie's B's desk and yeah just it's yeah I can't I would ask any anyone to if people say can't imagine your pain a good a good example is you you walk past your child's bedroom when it's empty and however they've left it that's the way it's always going to be and that's tough the shoes in the same position that you know it's just it's it's all the things you told him off for when he was here say clean your room you're not leaving it because you don't want to you don't want anything touched and there are reminders everywhere where we are today I keep the king out of the window CU I keep thinking of was here for his I remember him drinking FY much in his sixth form ball over there sat over there with the t20s on the few times I came and well your your regular seats your season tickets the seats that you had David are just over your shoulder there just up over behind yeah you know I had some lovely stories and some pictures sent to me of um Barney's chair and every uh game every T20 game that was on um he was there would buy him a pint and they put a picture of him on there and and and I think they put a shirt on there as well I think it was a shirt over guys have given us a sign shirt which is at home on his page yeah yeah we got we came to the game that we against actually against Nots so the Nottingham players signed a shirt they yeah yeah the Cricket Club Cricket Club have been fantastic they've been really helpful wonder if the amount of stuff like Bishop's whole Cricket um club which is his home team didn't play for Su set um they they did a fundraising day back in the summer and they raised enough money to make I can send you a photograph it's called Barney's Bar it's this little mobile not little actually it's quite big it's beautifully done with this amazing like Barney's Bar and it all lights up NE sign sounds like something he'd have loved well actually one of his friends one of his friends said to me he said you know that webs would have like his ego would have been out of control with all of this and you know you know I think it probably would have been probably would have the irony is the person that would love this the most is the one that isn't here for it all but you know we're we're doing what we can for him and I think I'd say I think most parents probably would in our position but it's not easy to to be here and speaking but show it to him what does the future look like for you without him and I know that's a really difficult question and it's day by day but I think inadvertently you speak on behalf of so many families who have had loved ones stolen from them in circumstances like this you never think it's going to happen to you no no no I with that family you know you have that sort of that family that that happened to that tragedy the wrong place at the wrong time I mean it's just you know they they those kids did nothing wrong they were just walking home they were less than 5 minutes from being safe none of them did and this monster hid in the shadows and so so it's it's it's you know there I suppose if there's an accident or an illness as as cruel and as tragic as it is you can somehow quantify what happened whereas this is so senseless and so cruel um that it's I think we're still processing that but you you said you know the word future and there is a future and you know it's a I don't want to use the new normal because it sounds cliche but it's you have to One Foot In Front of the other get to the end of the day all those adages true because because you do and something that I wrote in my my eulogy for him was that and it's true it feels feels like in a world of Darkness if you imagine a night sky this is what I said back then then then you look up and you occasionally see if you look hard enough on a really dark night you can see the stars and you can see more and more the harder you look and that's how I in my head creatively think about our future coming forward it there'll be more and more and more light and then the dorm will come back and one day we won't be all right we won't be brilliant but we'll we'll be able to have a future yeah absolutely everyone invested in this story that doesn't know you as a family feels like they know Barney from his pictures from the wonderful things you and countless others have said about him yeah how do you want people to remember him you don't want people to remember him as a victim but as a person as a person that had a bright future ahead of them yeah what do you want people to remember about your son I I think I want them to remember him as Barnaby Weber Barney Weber either all it's fine and you you asked earlier about how the strength to try and speak speaking Notting him and I I I know where that strength came from I remember the moment I was thinking what am I going to say I need to say something in the in the in the city hall thingy and I thought I don't want him to be a victim I don't want it to be as you hear all the time you know they lit up a room and they this this and of course that's true he did but he was also stubborn difficult muish when he wanted to be as well but he was genuine and amazing and I think I want people to know that he the person he he was and that beautiful smile and you know it just yeah and if out of this tragedy we can evoke some positive change then that's that's not going to heal us or bring him back but it's something

Channel: Sky News

Views: 27,140

Keywords: SKY NEWS, SKY, NEWS, NOTTINGHAM, POLICE, NOTTINGHAMSHIRE, MURDERS, STABBINGS, STAB, VALDO CALOCANE, BARNABY WEBBER, GRACE O'MALLEY-KUMAR, IAN COATES, STUDENTS, NOTTINGHAM UNIVERSITY, UNIVERSITY, UNI, CARETAKER, CITY, MIDLANDS, EAST MIDLANDS, UK, CRIME, LEGAL, LAW, DIMINISHED RESPONSIBILITY, CROWN COURT, MENTAL HEALTH, KILLER, KNIFE ATTACKS, KNIFE CRIME, KARIM KHALIL, LAWYER, BARRISTER, JUSTICE TURNER, JUDGE, ARREST, WARRANT, CRIMINAL, sentence, judge, hospital order, family, emma webber, david webber

Id: ekowb1oEku0

Length: 19min 45sec (1185 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 29 2024