Is Troll 2 Really The WORST Movie Ever Made? - Talking About Tapes

hi everyone Tony from hack the movies here Troll 2 the worst movie ever it's the worst is it though is it really the worst movie ever that's what we're going to talk about today on this episode of talking about tapes tapes we're talk talk talking about tapes oh my God Ian how are you oh I am blessed that I am back at the hack the movie Set that's that's good it's so nice to see you again the last time I saw you was at your first wedding um I I hope you're enjoying your first marriage so far it is uh as they say uh I hate wife right in those Comics that I grew up reading what wife bad what Comics I know like in the funnies in the newspaper how like all the Boomer humor is I hate my wife and uh cell phone bad that's like every sic comth around that time too yeah well you know what they say first is the worst second is second will be the best much like troll too exactly perfect segue yes uh troll two very famous bad movie can I talk about troll one for a second of course have you ever seen troll one I haven't so look out of all the movies that feature someone named Harry Potter and fantasy creatures it's at the top of the list it's at the top of it's at the very top of the list you know even if I haven't seen it I'd agree with that uh yes it was directed by John Carl buer and now I have a reason to point this out he uh was an effects guy oo he actually did a lot of the effects for the carnosaur movies I got a carnosaur laser disc wow and I have a carnosaur 2 poster on the way it's not here oh okay I was like looking around for it a fan bought it for me uh he also directed Friday 13th part seven troll one is actually a fun movie it's a fun little fantasy movie it's not a horror movie There's Scary elements in it right it's got Sunny Bono in it oh he's one of the people in the apartment building it's got a very young Julia Louie dfus in it from Seinfeld uh but yes an Italian filmmaker or production company did Troll 2 which was called goblins uh but the Italians love to do this thing where if they like owned a movie or distribution right I forget what the legal thing around it was they would just say that a movie was a sequel to some other unrelated movie I mean so troll one sense troll one I guess sold pretty well it's a low budget movie must have made its money back and then they when they were making this they were like huh there's little monsters in this let's just call it Troll 2 exactly despite the fact it's entirely about goblins there's a lot of movies like this um I'll actually talk about two in a minute oh but yeah when what did you first see this movie so I first saw Troll 2 back when I was like 15 years ago when I was in Middle School okay uh was that my friend's house and we watched the documentary that it was uh that is about that movie best wor movie best worst movie um and I was like wow that movie looks really fun I want to go see that so my friend was like well I have the VHS I was like oh great let's pop it in watch it right now so we watched it that night I'm like this is the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life I was the perfect age I was like 13 years old it was excellent it was funny I I was happy I was sad roller coaster of emotions it was thrilling yeah uh speaking of VHS tape I love that like the kid on the box is not who's in the movie and then there's like a giant ogre thing in the background yeah it's like it's it's essentially the poster for the thing yeah pretty much pretty much just with a kid in like his pajamas in the front uh which again was very popular at that time to just speaking of which this [ __ ] dinosaur on the cover of this the one in the movie doesn't look quite like that the first time I saw it I don't know I I watching the documentary they kept mentioning that was on HBO a lot yeah I definitely probably saw it on cable I I enjoyed it I laughed at it but um I don't like watch this one as much as other people do as even though I'm like a guy who loves bad movies right again I have to point to the carnosaur thing again it that's three times in like five minutes the RO uh I I like bad movies and stuff and I actually enjoy this movie I watch it a bunch of times but like I'm not as into it as other people are and I think part of it is it's just not that bad for me it's actually kind of fun yeah it's not like like people call it the worst movie ever made and like I can definitely see where they're coming from with that however it is so much fun it's not bad you know I've been in worse movies than this The Dark Knight Rises no no no no that was one of the good ones please please please I mean you were the star but I was in thugs versus dinosaurs oo classic dinosaurs is way worse than this there might be a sequel by the way oh boy even more thugs less dinosaurs I hope just the thugs actually that would be a perfect compliment to troll 2 how there's trolls thugs versus dinosaurs but no dinosaurs um yeah uh so I don't have like I'm not as in that like I like more stuff like um Samurai cup like that is a movie that is bad from top to bottom like there's no other than it's fun to laugh at there's no like real redeeming quality and that like the film stock is different so the color grading is all off the wig and everything this movie is almost like too it's it's shot a little too confidently yeah it's like it's it's genuinely wellmade in terms of like its production aspects yeah there are things that stopped it from being really good yeah uh but um yeah let's figure out where this movie went wrong uh first note I have here is a woman wrote it oh all right remember to like share and subscribe Johann is gonna kill me oh my God so directed by claudo uh F Faso which is not what they show in the movie not no they so I really like fgo in the title uh I really like the director he's also made worst movies Bruno matai uh he used to go under different pseudonyms for American releases he's like Draco something in this at some point like Indie like theaters and video stores started catch on they're like nah I don't I'm not trusting that Guido and they're like oh no I'm uh Michael Sher like they just put like weird names in there so his wife wrote this and would you like to tell what where she came up with this idea my gosh so she got the idea for troll to extremely inspirational they were having a dinner party with their friends and as all of them became vegetarians every single one of them and the sons of [ __ ] ruined the dinner party by being vegetarians so they were like I need to express this in a film in cinema where the vegetarians are the bad guys and boom troll to I can't imagine being like I'm so angry at my friends I need to go to Utah and film a movie how dare they make conscious healthy life decisions on my watch without eating my pruto uh yeah so she wrote it uh claudo uh directed it he directed some other movies oh I've only ever seen this movie that he directed well well I mean he directed Texas Chainsaw masre 3 and by that I mean in Italy Texas Chainsaw is called uh don't open that door and they made a movie called night killer which I reviewed on cinem masker many moons ago which is worse than this film uh and they decided nly to call it don't open that door three as if it was a sequel to Texas chainsa and the only thing is like the guy has like a fleshy monster mask so close to leather face I guess I I guess not literally nothing else to do with it um and he also directed Terminator 2 wow no not that Terminator too he directed a movie called shocking dark which is actually ripoff of aliens if I'm remembering right even better but I think there are some cyborgs in it so they released it way before Terminator 2 came out in other countries it's called a Terminator too I mean it works for me I would have seen it instead of the James Cameron schlock yeah yeah exactly way better than James camon but yeah so he's done this a couple times before uh it's been a minute since I've seen shock and dark but yeah I did have to watch night killer for that uh review years ago night killer is so much worse than this it is so much worse than this this actually as dumb as the story is and we'll get into it oh yes you can somewhat kind of follow it there's a path and it's at least a little comprehensible that I understand the story of the EB and the flow and everything yeah I I understand I don't understand 100% but like afterwards I'm like okay that's how they got there they took a weird path to get there but you know when like they get from point A to point B scene to scene even though it's like edited a little choppily you still know what's going on they do get to point a from from point A to point B they zigzag a little night killer I don't know if there ever was a point B it just was a and it was a old thing okay uh so yeah they um they used all an entire Italian crew sent them to Utah to shoot this and that's where a lot of the problems come in with this cuz the it's excellent the filmmakers and the cast had could not communicate with each other cuzz they all had broken English uh but yeah uh let's let's talk about this wonderful film let's go through it I love it let's go through it I don't have a physical copy or else we would have read the tape sorry it's right here all right it opens up with the grandfather was it grandfather Seth Grandpa Seth yes Grandpa Seth and he's telling the stories of goblins attacking some guy named Peter yes you ever uh You Ever Seen The Princess Bride it's that but better it really is the Princess Bride like I I think that came out before this C May um or maybe Princess Bride ripped this off sometimes that happens sometimes I review like one of these shocky movies I'm like clearly they ripped that off and then I find out that the movie came out first oh but no uh Troll 2 came out in 1990 princess prob came out in the 80s so never mind never mind uh so yeah they're attacking someone called Peter now usually in a monster movie the the rule is don't show your monster too early claudo Faso never learned that rule so where we see the trolls or the Goblins just r a suggestion it's not a rule one minute in we see it we see the Goblins running around they're barely animated faces they are latex masks with potato sacks the guy talk about how like they had to like tape the hand cuz their little hands could fill out the big gloves the gloves were too like big for them so they had to like tape them in so if you ever see like the closeup of like the Goblins when they're going like this they're so Wiggly because there's no like human hand in there it's literally just a latex going up and down uh he trips and a girl with obvious fake freckles comes over those were fake it might shock you but yes Ian those were in fact fake freckles uh but here here's an example of like this movie is not like it's almost a little too good cuz we see Josh the the little kid suddenly in the flashback which always makes me crack up it's weird they don't do that more often but I'm like okay that was a creative decision yeah and a clever edit yeah a l I've seen a lot of bad movies that don't get anywhere near as close to that good uh but he's right it is a goblin in Disguise and she's trying to feed him that weird green yeah and it's like they describe it as the most delicious and beautiful looking qu and it's like it's the goop from Power Rangers but it's green like from the power Nickelodeon slime yeah here you go he obviously gets eaten by the goblins and let's not forget when he's drinking it they make it a big deal to say that he did not break eye contact with the female in Disguise the whole time so you can see him struggling eat like soup whatever cuz she's like feeding it to him so he's just like arms down like um I do want to say I love Joshua's bedroom he's got that nice Batman 89 poster it's it's like they I I guess they didn't have Google really back then they like no they I don't know went to the newspaper people did in the 1900s I was wondering what the licensing with it because it's the Batman 89 then Superman and then he's got a poster of the Joker from The Killing Joke yeah and then he has like miscellaneous Sports yeah miscellaneous Sports and then disy shirts like Mickey Mouse shirts I'm like and this is an mg m movie they don't own any of this [ __ ] well I guess MGM had a good relationship with Disney yeah cuz they had Studios back the Warner Brother stuff I'm like man this must have been a nightmare to [ __ ] license all that [ __ ] I'm I'm sure that they didn't yeah I didn't I didn't have a Batman 89 poster growing up I was a few years older so I had the or a few years younger than this kid so I had Val Kilmer on my door for many many many many years many years I would shut my door and look at Val Kilmer in his weird bat nipple wasn't Clooney with the nipple Kilmer did it first people forget Kilmer had the did have the nipple yeah Joel schacher I mean Batman and Robin is the greatest movie of all time so strong disagree so did you did you see the flash yeah it flashed before my eyes but you must have liked the ending I didn't watch The Flash oh but I know the ending because I was I saw the scene that's the only scene you wanted to see car about only I was like let's go it's nipple time you were probably upset because they're like wait Michael Keaton that that means Batman Forever and Robin are no longer in Cannon with those films and then you must have been so thrilled I was worried for a moment you're like oh even better they're in their own separate Universe I started to cheer I started to cry anyway uh he has a really cool room is what I'm saying that looks like something that would have been my room as a kid yeah uh but yeah it turns out that his grandfather is a ghost yeah he's like the Grandpa's reading the story which they have amazing shots of The Grandfather's face yeah like Joshua asked the grandpa a question and I I can't mimic this on the the setup but you just see his head just like come in like this yeah just like the side of his head it's actually like really well shot a creative shot I've seen a lot of movies that are just wide shots on tripods blank flat and they shoot all the scenes there and then God what was that movie I watched at VHS vest this your winter Beast that was [ __ ] awful yeah but he like he's telling the story and then the mom comes in yes Diana and it's like I was just talking to Grandpa and they peer over to the rocking chair and no one is there oo why is he a ghost who's to say he died he did die but like why is he visiting them why does he know so much about Goblins the whole thing uh so the mom she has like crazy eyes this whole film oh yeah does she blink at all I feel like she does I'm sure she does but it feels like she doesn't it feels like she doesn't she just looks like surprised and start she looks like a goblin who's trying to be a human and not knowing how to pull it off and we couldn't figure out what was up with this lady in the documentary like there's she was never really clear like cuz like it seems like she's a little bit of a shot in with her mom taking care of her and I get having to take care of your mom like especially when they're elderly but she seems like she had something weird on top of that yeah there was like definitely something going on yeah cuz in the in the documentary when they tried to get her to come to like one of the screening she's like I can't go my neighbors keep me up with horrible noises yeah and they never like Cy andure they ask what the noises and then she's just you're just standing there like and I'm like I felt I feel bad this lady she didn't act much from what I saw on IMDb I don't know I mean she probably acted I think it was just this from from what I saw or at least that's the only credit yeah the only credit I saw on letter box yeah but then she mentions how she had an agent up until like a few years before the documentary and the documentary at this point is like 15 years old yeah so like who knows what's going on right now yeah uh yeah something was up with that lady but even looking back at this and like her facial expressions I'm like something's up yeah I don't know what it is something's up with that lady uh but yeah then she sees her daughter Holly working out oh I love any scene with the daughter yeah uh mainly for her anunciation of every single word is so succinct like it has to end very punctually yeah so if it ends in a t it's t if it ends in a d it's D like it's specific say is she the one who says she leaves this off her resume yes yes she doesn't put troll to on her resume when she asks you know what smart um she's only ever been in Mormon movies oh I looked it up well she had a career that's good has still going still going uh good for her um yeah so she's working out uh and then we meet the star of the show oh my gosh George Hardy as the father Michael he's the best he's so good and that like genuinely he's having fun with this which I appreciate and the documentary like they really show you like this guy is like the documentary is essentially about him it really is it really is about him it's directed by the sun actor but it's mostly about the dad actor Dr George Hardy everyone loves him in that town uh he's like a local star outside of the film he was a beloved a dentist in Alabama yeah and this is just something he did yeah he uh cuz I remember in he was talking about when he got the part he was doing dentistry in Utah at the time yeah they he saw an ad in the paper for a movie extra specifically an extra so he's like yeah it'd be fun let's go do it it so he goes do it and boom he is the lead character dad like he's like like arguably the second biggest star in the whole movie out beside the sun now that's how I felt in thugs versus dinosaurs when I agreed to do it I thought I was going to be like a minor character because I didn't read the script and then it turns out they show up to shoot and they give me the schedule and I'm like oh my God I'm the third lead character so talented they were like yeah didn't you read the script that I went no you're high school kid I didn't even bother but I guess it's a little mean you know I talked to the director of thugs versus dinosaurs recently and he was just like you know at the time we thought you were being mean to us and whatnot but looking back yeah you knew what you were talking a little right I'm like guys you don't have to waste time on this shot it doesn't matter anyway yeah he's the star of this movie oh yeah he's excellent every delivery is perfect yeah his like Southern accent which does not blend in with anybody else in the whole movie is so good why is he Southern is it just that's just where he's from it's just a normal voice like all of them are just doing their normal voice except for the daughter cuz I definitely directed to not do that yeah um she they're doing their normal voices so it's like Clash of accents but they're also reading dialogue written by someone who is English kind of Yeah by an Italian who didn't really understand English and I they apparently said like we wanted to try to changed the dialogue a little bit Yeah cuz they were like no don't change anything no this is how an American Girl acts this is how Americans act we should know reminds you of Tommy weo when when you hear stories of the room he's like no we making PE American movie and they're like what this is in the same vein as that in terms of like a foreign director trying to make an American movie I feel like there's like a whole in that time period like the late ' 80s to the early 2000s like this happened a lot in terms of its styling uh but yeah the family is going to I don't understand what the exchange program is so can you explain that to me from my understanding is since the son Joshua is seeing the dead Grandpa a lot they want to get away on like a retreat cuz the doctor specifically said that the grandpa is what what do they say like a figment of my subconscious or something something like that I do like I do like again they're Italians trying to do American and like they don't know how to simplify things but he's like I had imaginary friend when I was a kid and then she goes yes but it wasn't your dead grandfather like like letting us know too much information yeah it's saying it's so matter of fact yeah when I was a kid I had an imaginary Playmate too but it wasn't your dead grandfather but what were we talking about I love oh yeah why they're doing the ex why they're doing the exchange so the the son is uh seeing the dead Grandpa and they want get away from the hustle and bustle of the city to try to like help him out with this so they do a monthong vacation which wild the dad got a month off of work cuz he clearly works cuz he's on the phone taking care of some business like going to the office yeah like crazy that he got a a whole four weeks off approved wild to me um but lamenting of the Millennials um but they do that swap so like they can get a taste of how we used to live a century ago specifically they say how we used to live a century ago as if Farmers haven't evolved since or don't exist anymore yeah it's like well no there's there's Farmers now if you go to a farm now it's not going to be like a farm a hundred years ago yeah they have like technology irrigation systems and all this stuff it's they got that Monsanto seed everywhere it's not like they're like like Russian like peasants yeah no one's attaching like hes to like oxin and what yeah they they're not clear I'm not a farmer yeah that's hose to oxen it's my band's name uh but yeah and I guess that family is going to live in the city yeah they're like they're going to get a taste of the convenience and Technology of the 1990s as if they don't like go into town they don't have like a phone or and like when I first heard that I'm like oh they like I guess they're like the Amish no but they're not they're not they're not uh but yeah the town is called neog neog we'll get there well we're already there the movie will get there correct we are way ahead of the movie as soon as you hear that name you're like you're like like no it's a little suspect but uh Holly's boyfriend Elliot oh New York Times best-selling author that is true I saw that that that was pretty impressive in the end of the documentary they have like the uh the traditional like this is where they are now type thing and they get to him I forget his name sorry ellot oh wait wait wait hold on I got the name I got the name it's like Jerry something Elliot is Jason Wright Jason Wright and it's like Jason Wright is a New York Times bestselling author and I was like no [ __ ] what what are his books did you look up his books no were they Mormon books maybe they were not Mormon books but he got to number six well that's good that's good okay so he scares Elliott yeah which I actually like this scene yeah cuz it's kind it's genuinely tense M like he hears the knocking at the window the kid and he slowly starts to walk the music we'll get to the music at some point the music is good um but it is a little creepy it's a little slow building he gets to the window and he pulls it over and he just sees the boyfriend Elliot face peered on the glass and they just scream and he falls down it is amazing and that's part of the reason why this movie isn't so bad yeah and it's a good setup for the ending scene the very ending cuz again something happens in that house uh but yeah he goes upstairs and he sneaks into Holly's room oh this is there's so many quotable lines in this there really is uh she hits him in the balls and he says release your instincts in the bathroom are you nuts he trying to turn me into a homo now Ian I'm not gay although it would solve a lot of my problems would it though past and present yes it would have I feel like I I I feel like I would have had a lot more fun I would have been less dressed probably be in better shape the gays do rule the world or I could be in worse shape and that would work out and make me more appealing I don't know I feel like you'd be what they call a bear that's true now here's the thing I always thought like you know you're just boring that way as as Lady Gaga says uh but here I'm learning that if you get punched hard enough in the balls you become gay this movie is teaching me so much things so many yeah I I didn't know these things next time Joey CES on the show I'm GNA ask if he's ever had any crotch injuries that would explain but that is like what an older Italian person would probably be like especially in like the height of the AIDS epidemic 1990s when we were a little less accepting uh and then the daughter's line is so good after it yeah which was toned down they show in the script it was like a little bit more graphic what you described yeah what did she say something she says if if my father catches you here he's going to what like cut your nuts off and eat them yeah something like that uh but yeah her whole thing is like I want you to come to Neil bog with me and my family yeah cuz the he's good for nothing he only hangs out with his friends yes which is a huge sticking point for Holly because Tony I don't know if you knew this as Holly eloquent eloquently describes okay if you hang out with with just your friends all the time yeah you'll be a virgin for the rest of your life which I know is was a huge fear of yours it was it was and I hung out with that girlfriend and I that fixed one problem but it created a created a whole lot of looking back should have just hung out with my Bros not done anything that is uh essentially the Holly and Elliot plot of the whole movie is Elliot needs to pick between the boys yes or her yeah and he he can't pick he has trou picking one or the other yeah and he's like oh they're not here right now and then as soon as he says that here comes the boys why doesn't he just give them a break once in a while that is a little weird hanging out with the homies man I don't know what to tell you may maybe maybe he when he's like you going to turn me into homo that was him being like Oh no I'm already gay but I don't know how to bring it up I'll make it seem like she did it well I have to bring up you because I'm gay it's because you hit me in the ball and then and then he's like I promise I'm done with the boys they're gone they're out of my life life it's all about you girl and she's like really great be here by 9:00 a.m. and then another genuinely good edit yes finally yes it's too clever and good cuz it's it's just her face happy yeah and then it cuts to her they're in the car going to nilbog and she is distraught the acting minimal yeah but the concept is there yeah and we get it and it was fun and she's crying and then again they then they try to overe explain it it's like no we know he didn't show up we got it yeah could have wait another 15 minutes and then then they're fighting and everybody's sad and then Tiana with her bug eyes looks right in the camera goes Joshua why did you sing that song that I like so much could you please sing it Mom do I have to I don't feel like singing and the song like just do it the song that she likes so much is row R row your boat now this might shock you Ian but there's a worst movie with row R row your boat in it I that's Manos the hands of Fate now that movie is I have seen that that is genuinely bad marily merily merily merily that also has a it's just interesting that both movies have a family singing row row row your boat and they end up in a weird house in a Roy area although that Manos I think it was the desert it's uh what like George Lucas says like poetry it's like poetry everything Rhymes do you think George Lucas watched both those movies and then when he was playing the prequels I think so he's like I learned a lesson from Manos the great Italian director of Troll 2 claudo fras they go on this R your boat for at least 30 seconds yeah like it's not quick and they by the way hold on one second I'm looking at a copy and a cutout for Star Trek 5 which is also a terrible movie that also has a roro row your Bo if you're writing a movie do not include row R row your boat we have a three strike program that's three bad movies that used it get it out it's definitely the uh the only public domain choice they made this entire film wanted them to S Madonna Like no like we're already trying to license Michael Keaton and Mickey Mouse could you just use a public domain song please oh yeah and then while they're driving they see Elliott went early with his boys to Neil bog yeah and they're like they like are in an RV yeah that was weird Road triping the nail Boog but also I skipped ahead cuz I forgot about the nightmare scene oh which again is a little too good for they have the dramatic lighting and stuff uh but yeah Josh wakes up and he's like his family's making fun of him and he's turning into a plant and turns turns out it's the goblins and then he wakes up and he is genuinely really sweaty yes yes he is like soaked a lot of people are sweaty in this it must have been hot in Utah man must have been hot in Utah uh but then he sees ghost grandpa with a side like don't go yeah there's like a a guy on the side of the road and he looks out the window oh my God it's Grandpa Seth I have to throw up and then he just runs and starts talking in their mind they he's just talking to the air well he he he runs out and he goes to talk to grandpa Seth like what are you doing here Grandpa Seth yeah he's like you have to turn back there's an evil air here and he's like what do you mean and he doesn't really explain it yeah but they're going to nail Boog uh what could be a nebug goblins maybe potentially and then they they back up their like van they're like Joshua what are you doing and it's just a different guy at her random stranger yeah cuz they they come in and they're like where's all the people and the dad is like well this is a farming Community they they're in bed by this time of night it's sunny as yeah it's like literally it is like no midday it like 2:00 in the afternoon he's like everybody's sleeping at this time of night we should just go over to the house and they go and then it peers onto the General Store yeah they're all just like and then they meet the family who are just being real creepy they're just standing on their porch like like I get that they're goblins but you've been around humans enough can you at least pretend to be human to pull this off but I love that he's like we have a refrigerator and a TV and a microwave and they're just getting in the truck leaving but then the one throws the message to Josh they throw like a baseball that yeah it's like eat so we can eat you it's like dude don't give away your plan like your Tal the kid also tell your parents that they the son threw this baseball to you yeah in green writing says they're going to eat us I don't think the parents would have believed him they were like oh it's just some Contra fun or something yeah but country Hospitality which they come in and they see a bunch of green food and they're like well that's some country Hospitality this looks so delicious we better just eat everything right now eat it right now and like they're about to eat they take a long time right before they eat and then the the kid's like this is gonna turn them into a goblin yeah he just knows or this GNA turn him into Goblin food right yes turn him the goblin food and then grandpa shows up the grandpa shows up outside yeah it's like in the window and he's like Grandpa what are you doing here he's like you got to tell them to stop and he's like I don't know how to do it he's like all right you have 30 seconds somehow Grandpa can stop time he's like magic yes and by stop time I mean the actor struggle to stay still they're like I was thinking about this uh I watched the movie with uh Johanna uh you know my my wife uh I had to do w wow I had to do it at least once uh and she was like why didn't they just take a picture like a freeze frame yeah like I the editing is like pretty good they could have like edited the kid in the shot with the family but it's funny CU better this I don't know when what order these are airing in but we shot uh review for X2 and there's that scene where everyone kind of freezes they got like actual like mimes or something this movie they didn't have a mind budget the best is the dad he was smart yeah cuz like he's like holding the glass and looking down and like I'm like great I can't see your eyes if you blink however you see the water in the cup moving I wonder if we can do it hold let's let's try it let's try it my eye got dry I couldn't do it I couldn't do it don't hire me for that role I guess you'll never work with claudo yeah so chosh comes up with a plan I must do it I must do it even though he could just like grab the food while it's frozen like throw it in the trash or like outside or on the ground or anything it's steady he Peas on it they don't show the pee they do another cut again a clever comedic cut of them scraping the food out out it looks the same and then the dad is pulling him upstairs talking about Hospitality you do not piss on Hospitality it's you can't piss on Hospitality I want allow it which is like the most famous line from this yeah and he picks him up like he's like a WWE wrestler it's like you see these signs and it's their name on the doors where they're sleeping yeah Hospitality I guess cuz it was hospitable that they put those signs they like gave them food and like here's the rooms you're sleeping in and then he takes the belt and like oh is he going to whip him yeah and the kid's like what are you going to do to me dad like he's legitimately going to beat this child he's like the the mom does say don't beat him don't hit him so he tightens the belt by one Loop to prevent hunger pains I bet your mom and sister are going to have to do the same like what never heard that before and then we get some deep father lore cuz he's like yeah just you want to go on this hung hunger strike all right I'll join you but just remember I actually went hungry as a kid like he was like a really poor child this is written by Italians I love to bring that up that's true I didn't have anything okay we got it cool uh it was it was interesting the first 500 times you told us so yeah uh most bizarre thing in the world uh but I also like the terrifying Goblin photos in that room yeah like that one I think it's like a photo of like a St statue that one's actually really cool looking yeah did they make that specifically for the movie I don't know cuz it didn't explain that in the documentary and everything like I wonder if those just pictures from some like artist thing used yeah they commissioned some local Utah in to like or no it was probably like in a magazine or something and then they just like blew it up or something but it's genuinely cool yeah they were actually really creepy looking um the Bros are in the woods watching a weird eight movie with which a few years back like James from cinamas he found what that movie was oh he did I've always wondered what that was I forgot to watch the video I watched it when it came out and I retain no information but there is a video that explains what this movie where the ape touching the rock is from uh but they're loving it but they're like where are all the ladies Elliot promised us girls yeah and then uh what's his name uh Arnold oh the kid with the glasses yes yeah he's like I'm gonna go outside and have some fresh air and he starts smoking yeah and then he sees a lady running in the woods what luck and he's like hey stop and she has a huge like Head Start like she is easily like a few hundred feet if not more ahead of them well he's a track runner I guess he is a man if this is what powers you get from hanging out with the boys I need to hang out with the boys a lot more but also he's a smoker so I don't know how much it was the 90s smoking is good for you he catches up with her and she's like I'm running from monsters and then we see the Goblins surround them and he tries to moot he tries to negotiate with he like intimidate them like yeah back off Buster and he like pushes the one on the shoulder and yeah he calls them dwarfs which is very offensive and I would have let that slide but then he does the white power sign I'm like wow like right in front of aess end racist how dare you they take shelter in a spooky house oh but you're forgetting what happens to Arnold so the the the Goblins the monsters the dwarves whatever they all look at each other like who is this guy and who does he think he is so the one like Olympic Javelin Chucks the CHS it and they're probably like as far as we are from each other probably could have just went like this instead of that but it's the shot of like the spear soaring through the sky and it gets him right in the pit you know the perfect spot where like can just hold it yes perfect yeah it gets him there uh then they run to then they run into to what looks like a church but it's actually a spooky house clearly like a stage inside with really fake scenery that they got from some other prop Warehouse it all together like oh let's put like a beakers and smoke and make this really look like a creepy cabin in the woods now I assume she's the lead Goblin she's the queen they say it later okay good good so there is a higher Archy here they say they well and when we get to the part I'll point it out but they do say that she is the Queen the Goblins say that yeah the one yeah I I know it's seen this so yeah it's uh Credence Leonor Gil good RP R to that actress uh yeah she's very creepy looking she has dirty teeth and she is overacting like crazy bro she's kind of hot she gets hotter toward the end I don't know man you like your more with the fake teeth and the cracked lips and the I I put some Vaseline on that all day God Dam that should be your uh theme costume next year for hallowe Johanna can be and can be a goblin thank you sorry Goblin I'm so sorry that I called the goblin a troll movie troll too exactly um but she she definitely overacting but golly is she not the most fun part of this whole movie she is having a lot of fun with this Stu taking it to to the heart and I love that uh but yeah she gives them like a potion yeah this will heal your injuries yeah cuz there's no hospital Neil B we take care of things ourselves and it goes it like Zooms in on like a cauldron with like a skull and crossbones above it no I think it was a skull with like a candle coming out of it like like a creepy like Frankenstein ass imagery yeah so uh the girl starts to die and she becomes plant food for the trolls and Arnold can't stop it cuz he's Frozen and the best part about her dying is she this house has two levels there's two floors to it they're on the bottom floor when they do this she's like starting to die like and she goes around up the steps over the railing the whole time and then she dies I'm like wow that's a really inefficient way to turn someone into food and then Arnold realizes he's Frozen he can't move this I would say is probably the most famous line theall movie yeah if you look up Troll 2 on YouTube yeah this is like the first thing you see outside of the actual movie they're eating her and then they're going to eat me oh my God I do like cuz later on he's got like Tree Park all over him and the director said like he made him put the mouth piece on to shut him up cuz he kept complaining he he was in that like that makeup for like 14 hours he said like standing in a pot they like they drilled into his personal shoe I know I know so he would stay in it well the one actor I'm just going to call him yellow shirt when he shows up cuz I forgot his name cuz there's a whole thing where he lost his yellow or the studio the the filmmakers lost the yellow shirt and made him buy a new one yeah you can you can see the original yellow shirt that he wears has like a logo on like the chest and then it switches like in the middle of the scene it's just a straight up yellow shirt that he probably got at like a Walmart now something similar happened in thugs versus dinosaurs I lost my orange Hawaiian shirt oh man and I was like [ __ ] what are we going to do I had a purple Hawaiian shirt but I'm like this isn't going to match and then I remember the scene that we were shooting just happened to have a wizard oo and and I was like don't worry I'll fix the plot hole here and he goes I am a wizard and then my character goes he is a wizard I met him a few years ago he put a spell on me that makes my Hawaiian shirt blue sometimes like now and see there's magic in this movie what's her name Credence could to been like and also I'm going to change anyone who's wearing a yellow shirt into a different yellow shirt that that would not have been out of place you know it's you know it's also reminded me of kung pal oh Ander the fish yeah where it's clearly two scenes they cut together with the guy wore different outies and he just goes I am a magician you have red clothes and now your clothes are [Laughter] black oh I love that movie that movie is so good see if you have a wardrobe thing just make sure there's magic in your movie and then you're good fixes everything anyway and then we see Holly dancing and she gets a visit from the Father the grandfather the dance is fantastic the the finger thing I don't think I can do it like hands aren't flexible enough but she yeah that she does that they definitely were like this is totally part of American teenage girl well they probably watch like workout routine what you call they probably watch Friday the 13th Part 5 where it has the girl doing like the dance and that they probably watch some like jazzer size Tes so yeah he shows up there and they're doing the thing where they want him to be a floating ahead so they shot him with like a black shirt on a black backdrop but every time they do this effect you kind of see the shirt see it too and I'm like okay I get the concept and it's a little I get what you were trying to do there it didn't work out quite the way you wanted to but they at least KN had the idea of how to do it it's it's a little charming and you know it could have been the post production whoever edited yeah did that chemical composite probably like screwed up maybe it what yeah it's we need to go in and we need to restore this film that's the next project addal effects we're going to do a special edition troll too we're going to add more add more goblins add more goblets um so yeah she uh scares he she gets scared of him yeah and he's like I saw him Grandpa's Seth yeah and then Josh is like I'll switch rooms with you and she's like really yeah you're the best little brother they call each other little brother and big sister a lot they need to remind you I never called my sister that granted I'm I have a twin sister yeah so like I'm not going to call her thanks a lot twin sister I don't do that I call her by her a government name who's older me wow you so you could say little 50 seconds 50 seconds they matter my nieces are starting to fight oh it's the best know they went they they were really good with sharing almost too good with sharing cuz I remember my sister I'm like something's up here there there's going to be a hard shift eventually sure enough I now getting videos of them hitting each other fighting over a toy I'm like oh it's beginning that's good I mean because they're twins right yeah yeah not identical but yeah well same yeah good for her um but that just happens yeah you're the same age so you like grow the same so my favorite is the videos I getos yeah my my sister will send me videos where they're they're doing something and they stop and they make the same motion at the same same time and it creeps all of us out I I I have done that with my sister so yeah like twin telepathy sorry uh shattering the wall it's total crap yeah but there are some like weird mimy things that we you're literally around that person your entire life you'll probably share mannerisms but it's funny like they'll both be crawling and then they'll both think to stop and then sit up and then look over like ah don't do that like you need your next horror movie right there oh we're counting down on days where their hair is long enough that we do the sh twins like we're like really waiting for that that's going a good day back to this that's enough twin talk so yeah he basically tells them to leave again uh and then yellow shirt guy goes to town cuz they have no food yeah they were like did anybody bring supplies yeah they're like no and I have no money I take it from the group fund and he's like which they have all right uh and then he goes outside he's going to go get ready to get some food and stuff and then he he stretches for for a solid minute yeah they make sure to get the stretching in he speeduns that every single stretch though yeah he's like he's like like like 3 seconds each and he's like all right time to run to town I like you guys have a RV couldn't you drive into town yeah why couldn't they just drive into town uh but yeah the sheriff picks him up yeah and he's like yeah we'll take you to town by the way eat this he's like you hungry yeah here and it's like it's the green stuff yeah in between bread no one ever thinks to go what's this green stuff he's like oh okay thanks and I I got it trust police officers um obviously I do it all the time clearly I was just like oh I wasn't speeding but I'll take your word for it officer so he just starts eating and like oh this is really good which is a theme apparently the green goop is like Gordon ramsy es delectable yes and the family are also upset that there's not enough food at the house uh which I my head Cannon is because Josh urinated all food that he's on this like fake hunger strike that the dad's like forcing them not to eat anything yeah well there's just no food in the house the mom points it out and all the milk is like spoiled it's nilbog milk it's nilbog milk and uh we're going to learn more about that cuz yellow shirt Guy meets the owner of the General Store who literally a crazy person by his own admition yeah in the documentary they like they find him yeah and they go to his house and he's just like talking about himself and what he was doing at the time and very casually drops yeah I was in the mental institution when my agent called me about this movie I'm like hold up rewind for a moment yeah I'm like can you can you talk he does talk a little bit he doesn't say exactly what the problems were yeah uh but he's just like yeah so that I went and did that and never watched it he never watched it it took him like he said 20 years to watch it until the documentary came out is when he watched it Fan event he said he wanted to kill the actor playing Joshua yeah CU he was like it's an annoying kid which by the way he the director of that documentary so imagine so the kid like sit I'm guessing he's just like I don't think I don't think he knows I'm that kid we're just gonna my name is Jim like just making up a name my name is Michael yeah and he's like I really wanted to kill him and then you find out that he was like in and out of institution like oh he might have like actually like I was like I kind of was a little fearful for this boy yeah and it was funny when he's just like I didn't realize I'd look so creepy in the movie it's like you didn't realize and he was like I wasn't acting yeah he keeps saying he wasn't acting which good for him seeing the documentary I believe it a th% he should have been the preacher he he's a more the preacher is like the most forgettable of the main bad guys been a way better preacher yeah um so he's like he's he's just like we're vegetarians here yeah he's like coffee we don't have coffee it's the devil's Dr dev's drink what what he ask for bacon yeah and then that's what he goes uh but then he gives them the the Neil bog milk rich in special nutrients I love that he leaves the store clearly starting to Die the guy just comes up and goes your friend said meet him in the house that looks like a church it's a mile that way he's like okay and goes like okay thank you like preg GPS like no no paper map Insight yeah well they're constantly like oh it's down the road it's a few miles that way I'm like can I get more instructions few miles down the road like if you told me like so and so was like 3 miles that way I'm like okay but like what street do I turn on to get to it yeah um yeah so the the dad and son go into town and oh my God what a shock Neil bog is Goblin backwards oh my god oh yeah you said that wrong oh my God that's the only way you can say I love I love like the thought process that it's just Goblin spelled backwards like they couldn't have thought of anything like I know like America town or like Main Street or any generic USA sounding like know weird farmer town the sign on the door said be back in 80 minutes yeah for the sermon but it's just like yeah but if I get there I don't know when the 80 minutes started you should be like be back at this time like how they have like the like retail stores they have the sign yeah that they like move the clock like yeah we'll be back we'll be back in 80 minutes I get there be like is 80 minutes now is that start 20 minutes ago 30 minutes ago well the dad has the right idea yeah takes a little nap read a book about vegetables and fall as asleep it's a cookbook a vegetable cookbook and he takes a little napi and this and Joshua let's not forget has a skateboard cuz you know the 9s 1990 skateboarding he likes to [Laughter] skateboard sorry I love Derek oh I didn't think you would get that reference oh [ __ ] Clover I know my name is Jerry I like theate boy I heard your last I remember watching Derek comedy around the same time I watched troll to for the first time and I like Donald Glover was a regular yeah and I remember the most crazy thing was like oh my God it's Bobby Mahan that's how I felt like I knew them from Derek comedy when I started seeing them in big things like ah so then uh back at home Credence gives the mom and sister a bunch of food yeah she she like just goes in the house yeah just walks right into the house like in the house like hey I'm here your daughter is delicious and the mom's like delicious what do you mean like you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble no trouble really I mean she's appetizing like that doesn't make it better cuz the daughter's like I'm going for a walk all right see you so Josh sneaks into the church and his [ __ ] skateboard is making too much noise but he's spying on the town looking at the sermon yes and they're all like we hate meat and and and this goes on for way too long yes it's really like cuz he's they're talking about like the rotting carcasses and excrement and I'm like we get we get it we get it you guys are vegan shut up about it which well I guess is is correct this is what happens this is what happens with vegans apologize to any vegan viewer out there I don't unsubscribe if [Laughter] you're just going to see the subscriber count just like oh this is a fun little dip it's all overnight it's all gone like and why' don't you make me review this [ __ ] movie okay uh but he's he's spying on them yeah and everything and he puts a skateboard down wheels down I'm like kid come on put it with the with the deck down with the tape come on but whatever it's a movie he's a child I get it they're dumb um he goes over to like a little cutout to like really peer at him and he keeps moving this board to get a better view oh no this board dis Lodge is the skateboard and it rolls down and they notice him they find him and they kidnap him and they try to with the most terrifying part of this whole thing like the kids just he's like sitting there and he tries to move and then you just see the preacher's hand just like go up through the thing and just grab grab him in the face that's a really well done there's another really good scare later on yeah that one I think is the genuine best scare of the whole movie yeah just cuz like of how unexpected I thought it would was I wouldn't I didn't expect it to be that matter of fact like that blunt I thought he would like run and they would jump out instead catch him but it was just instant and then it cuts really fast to really like Hammer like the impact of that yeah so they're trying to give him the plant food to make him into a plant like put ice cream Nob ice cream yeah they yeah the dad interrupts and now they're all human again it's like we were just trying to give him ice cream yeah and the kids like no they're goblins they're evil and he keeps like saying that and they're like we were just trying to feed him yeah they're just being very nice and this is the first time the dad's like okay maybe something is wrong something's something is up [Applause] here but she's going to talk to uh Elliot yeah the the ultimatum yes me or the boys I think he picks her or no he doesn't have time oh he does eventually he tries to like he's like what do you mean they're my friends he tries to like say he can do both yeah and it's like it's either me or the boys mhm and the one dude who's still in the the RV yeah is like where you going he's like I'm picking her picking Holly and I like that the dad says I don't talk to anyone who arrives late and upsets their girlfriends I would never talk to this Dad apparently cuz I'm late a lot I'm upset a lot of girlfriends so yellow shirt finds Arnold um and he's trying to help him but he's too sick and I love this scene where he takes the mouth off he's like you got to wield me out wheel he has no like like fear in his voice yeah he's like I need you to get me out of here he like what do you mean drag the pot and get me out of here he like okay takes him like two feet he's he's like out of breath cuz he's literally dying yeah and then uh Credence comes back in and she chainsaws poor Arnold she's like this is how we handle this but you won't feel any pain just a little tickle and it does tickle cuz he starts laughing as he's being chainsawed Little Flower and I guess he dies cuz we never see him again he was turned into that milkshake apparently he was the milkshake I just got you know what that would make sense I mean that was how I interpreted those line of dial all like that green food or former people that they transform maybe some of them are I don't know I guess uh it has like what is it Stonehenge magic the Stonehenge ruin is where the stone God it's so hard to say back in October we reviewed the original Halloween 3 season of the witch that also had Stonehenge magic poetry I don't know if you ever seen that one but uh I've only seen the ones with Michael Myers I know that one does not haveen yeah well he's on TV he's on a TV but yeah it's robots and Stonehenge magic and witches yeah or warlocks more appropriately anyway poetry man it's poetry com back this one did come before Halloween 3 I think no no Halloween 3 was before this was that in the ' 80s yeah early ' 80s right after Halloween 2 oh it was and then and then there was like a 9-year break between Halloween movies it was needed the family returns home and everyone's throwing a party for them the whole town and it's the same song Loop over and over again a little food they prepared a whole feast and they're all like dancing and they're CL in you can definitely tell they did not have music playing during the filming cuz the Clapping is off it is offbeat you know what's weird I'm thinking about this movie now cuz there's like a weird kind of scene sort ofili this have you seen the last Paranormal Activity movie I've never seen any Paranormal Activity movie I'm what they call a [ __ ] the last one has nothing to do with the other ones what's the point it's also not found footage I will be doing a worse Paranormal Activity movie episode but that movie is also about going to a weird town with weird people and they have like this weird party thing and is everything ripping off Troll 2 man troll much like Zack Snider Troll 2 is the blueprint for everything stack saak Snider was the blueprint for how to make a failed uh multi or Universe share Cinematic Universe is what I meant to say he's about to do it again with the Netflix movie people like Rebel Moon's going to be great it's like no one talks about Army of the dead or it's spin-off this is the next failed franchise no they're just uh they saw how much money that the SN Cup made for Justice League so they're like we're just going to release a bad movie and then make it good hopefully this is my favorite scary scene Josh runs to his room and tries to call his grandfather and you think you're going to see him again but it's Credence instead I'm like okay that actually got me that was pretty good that was a good one cuz you're not you're just expecting him because he's talked to his grandfather like five million times yeah like through the through the mirror and everything yeah and then it's there's like a lightning bolt which usually is the queue for the grandpa to show up yes I saw like the theme with that yeah you see the lightning bolt but it's her in the window and the and the mirror shatters and out comes a goblin yes uh but don't worry ghost Grandpa who can now interact with physical objects brings an Axe and cuts her arm off which it's hilarious cuz you can definitely tell it's fake like a fake hand they cut it off and you can you can see the blood wasn't spurting so I definit think somebody had to like all right the Claudia was like all right do you go pump of the pump of the Box you see them like squirt out of the hand I will say though the effect of the goblin doing the verse Photography in the mirror that's pretty good hard cutting to clear I'm like that was actually a really good edit and effect that's what we're saying this movie is not the worst movie it's bad F I'm thinking laier ways you could have done that just like a weird flash effect and she's already there that when they like they took the footage of the shattering they reversed it and to her back in I was like that's really smart and then when it goes back to her cuz she's in the church using the Stonehenge magic yes and you see her hand is like chopped off I'm like wow that's good for this movie yeah again there were lazier ways to do this and they chose not to and she gets a new hand with the stone hand magic brand new hand um puts it in with I that's a clever way to do it and then she asked for like the powers to be more powerful yeah why didn't she just do that from the start she was overconfident didn't think she needed it yeah the nine-year-old kid and the Ghost of a grandpa the uh grandfather tries to get Josh to help start a fire this is so hilarious the preacher stops it cuz he's like before we even get to the preacher okay cuz Joshua's like what do we do GR PA it's like let's really start a party and he has a [ __ ] Molotov cocktail it's like how did he make that on Earth or did he bring that from is that from is that from the great beyond this like like The Holy Hand Grenade but it's a Molotov cocktail speaking of all that so they try to light it the preacher comes in and grabs her from them and the preacher could see the grandfather and suddenly we're getting like deep lore with this mythical world he's like you from the shadow realm I banish you back to hell and his eye his eyes change a little bit his eyes change color but I like that the kids's just like are you really going to H yeah that's his big concern like are you really he goes no and I'm like okay yeah obviously but then he throws in this thing he's like but I'm going to do something that I learned from someone who was there and he shoots lightning I'm like you just chat with people in hell and you're in heaven or I'm sorry the shadow realm yeah the shadow like this will be a deep cut for your audience it's like he's in like Yu-Gi-Oh he shoots a lightning bolt and the preacher is on fire suddenly he's wearing gloves I don't know what that's about but yeah he's on fire it's not it's certainly not a flame [ __ ] and suit or anything and I like this part in the documentary so the dad comes out and grabs the fire hydrant oh or the fire signature the grandpa has a fire extinguisher the whole time while the kid is holding the molotov cocktail could be the other way so when he's like the grandpa is dying again for the third time yes he puts it on the ground so it's just like there yeah oh but I like the documentary where like uh what's his face is talking to claudo he's like how did I know it was there and he's like don't worry about it just do the line and they're in the I love it in the documentary that they're like recreating the scenes but the director is like really like trying to make it like he's making another movie I know he's like these actors are dogs do it again run the line and it's like this movie at the time was like 18 years old when he's doing this I don't know if they're going to remember the exact words they put out the preacher but oh my gosh he's a Troll he's a goblin sorry Goblin sorry he's a goblin um and and they're not like they're not freaked out really no they look a little bit more confused than anything all the other towns people are like you yeah you killed him we're going to do you're next we're going to do this to you yeah so they all slowly back into the house well like the Goblins could kill them at any time there's like 15 of them but they want to turn them into plant food instead which is why they're not killing them right away they do say and this is like a very minor line that if they kill them when they're people the blood will mix with the meat and spoil it right right which I don't know why they called it blood mixed with the meat when they're vegetarians but can Itali um by the way uh Credence she now has nice teeth and cleavage and is genuinely hot yes yes Johanna kept like Johanna was playing video games when I was watching this movie she comes down at that part and she's like oh yes I'm at the hot part I'm like what um so yeah the the the family's back in the house and they're like how we going to talk to grandpa do a seance and Josh was like you're a genius and then is this when it cuts to the RV part before now it cuts the RV yes good cuz this I think this is my favorite part of the whole movie just because of how ridiculous it is this feels like it was added in I feel like they remember they had an extra character and didn't know what do yeah so they had to like figure something out so he's watching the TV and then it turns into Credence outside the RV with an ear of corn with an ear of corn being sexy and it turns out she's actually there and he's like what kind of show is this he's like it's is no show I'm not a program I'm real so they he opens the door she comes in she's like do you want to eat this corn he's like but I like popcorn she's like great we'll heat it up and then she goes to make out with him however in true uh respecting of the Lord fashion yeah she leaves room for Jesus by putting the ear of corn in between him and her so they're making out but they're eating the corn instead yeah so they they were they were going to turn up the heat to make it into popcorn and and today you would digitally have the ear of corn shooting off popcorn uh but they didn't know how to do that they they were committed to practical effects so off screen it's just popcorn being thrown onto them and like to me when I first saw this movie yeah I was like oh this is like a dream sequence cuz it's so out of place feels like a Freddy Krueger sort of thing like it seems like he's like dreaming this and then he wakes up covered in popcorn does he die I don't the last you see of that kid yeah I don't even think he died I think that girl was just really into him and covered him in popcorn for later he wakes up with the popcorn literally he's like buried in popcorn in the RV bed and he like spits it out and he says some stupid line I just don't remember but that's the last we see him yeah uh so the grandpa shows up during the Seance and they they do the Seance where the hell did they get all these candles that's a good question that's a really good question like all these just on the table mind you how did they learn how to do a seance I don't know what the rules are for that you have to say something I feel like the kid would know Joshua would know cuz he's talked to the dead Grandpa a true true so I feel like he would know what's going on cuz he's clearly leading the Seance yeah so they're they're doing the Seance and everything they're like you have to concentrate harder and they're just they're holding they're like holding hands so they it's like the power thing and then a bright light appears and this is my favorite part cuz there was a continuity error oh what is it so the bright light appears and the dad goes like this to Shield his eyes from the light and I'm like bro you just broke this Seance this is the worst movie ever made how could you leave such a glaring I I know it eats me to this D I'm glad I can share it with the world yep that's it worst movie ever made okay like share and subscribe the second time we've done that uh but Joshua the Seance is successful however the grandpa does not appear instead Joshua flops over yeah on the table lifeless body then he turns into a [Music] goblin which I think they maybe did like some body switching thing they don't they don't really explain that too well which I like whatever there's a seance in this troll movie that's about goblins yes I'm not going to question this uh but they also learned that they have 10 minutes to destroy a Magic Stone yeah Joshua wakes up in the church yes the first time he's ever been there and he's like looking around like what do I do and the grandpa shows up he's like hey we have 10 minutes to destroy the stone and this time I'll be gone for good yes I'll be gone for good I'll never see you again and then back at the house the Goblins have like cornered the family yeah and they're about to kill them but then the queen she like starts to yell cuz they're like in the the church and they're like we need help but it's weird I think we see her in the rear the rear view mirror of the um the the RV yeah but I think we see a guy like legs and like wearing jeans behind her I think it's like a crew member or something there is another one where the town's supposed to be soty and then the car's driving by the background the cars drive by then there's one where if you look in the mirror of like the story you just see a guy loading up his truck in the similar vein when the dad and the son go to the town and it's like they're all at the sarmon when Joshua is skateboarding away yeah in the very back you see like a like a Pontiac Cruiser like driving in the corner like it's like just someone that lives there so yeah the queen calls the Goblins yeah and they're like they speak English yes in Goblin form Our Queen is calling us yes and is this the only time they speak the only time they talk clearly move it's clearly they whoever was in the suit yeah just has their mouth yeah right here like our Queen calls us um and then they just van away so yeah they want uh Josh to eat the food yeah they're like how because the the grandfathers disappeared wasn't strong enough the way that they stop them yeah is they touch the stone yes and that's how they win that's what the grandpa tells Joshua yeah touch the stone and that's the only way to destroy it but then it doesn't work right away but then Joshua when he's being surrounded by the Goblins who want him to eat the food he's like no I'm going to have cuz his grandfather gave him a special he's like you can only open this when it's time which all right cryptic bro but that's fine know why this was time but yeah he pulls out he's like a double decker baloney sandwich that is way more than a double decker there's like 10 pieces of baloney on this thing it is massive and the Goblins are like a you know vegetarians they hate meat right yes yes uh but yeah then the family comes in they touch the stone and it's don't you see the way to defeat the Goblins is with the power of goodness and we're all good uh like the daughter said the dad was going to eat her boyfriend's nuts the boyfriend is always late clearly uh hates all men cuz he chose a female over them yes um the the dad fighting off hunger pains I don't know how good that is the mom I don't know those eyes don't look good to me those eyes are crazy yeah they all have the power of goodness yes the grandmother should be like you need a loving family so find anyone else just find anyone else yeah the family doesn't like the kid this whole movie uh but yeah they stop the goblins and they go home this is the best cuz I love that they like pull up to they pull up to the their actual house yeah and it's all of them in the the van not the RV the RV doesn't exist anymore yeah they're in the van they're in the van and the dad's like I have to swing by the office and take care of some business like you just got back from almost dying yeah you're going to go to work God this company better give you a raise cuz you are committed you came into work on your four-week vacation early I doubt it's been a month mainly cuz they also haven't eaten so it's only could at most have been like three days yes and I mean it the town was close enough to drive to also yeah um and then the the boy friend is like I got to go home Holly goes with them yes the mom and Joshua stay behind so it's just them she eats an apple and then Joshua hears Joshua hears Whispering yeah which is creepy and then he he can't call Grandpa Seth anymore because he's in the shadow realm so he he goes downstairs MH like just to follow the the sounds of the whisper and then all of a sudden a baseball oh my god oh no the rolling down the stairs and this baseball has to be massive B on a softball it's like a sof but it's also a way too big of a sofball cuz like there's a lot of words on this yeah because it's like yummy Mommy is so delicious yeah like one how do they fit this on a regulation siiz baseball there's no way no no shot yeah why do they keep giving him hints and tips uh to their plan scary right I guess maybe maybe they're like they're like he beat us before we're going to get him but there he goes in and the Goblins have turned his mother into a a mannequin a mannequin with huge boobs uh you do see n and they're just eating her and then they're going to eat him oh my God they do offer some to Joshua which I thought was a very nice gesture that was pretty nice some that is the other time they speak English like do you want some Joshua and then the movie's done and then it ends look it's not a great film but it's not great but I feel like if you had an American rewrite the script yeah okay if there was less of a language barrier between the crew and the cast if he did better with job with the casting not just casting anyone and if the effects were even on par with troll one yeah this would still be a very silly movie but it would have been like a perfectly okay movie there's definitely a structure there yes that you can tell they had an idea and a vision they definitely had like a path that they wanted to follow and they did as best as they could yeah and it's coherent cuz I've seen really bad movies I saw this movie last year called 420 Massacre okay which is about I thought it was going to be about killer uh cannabis okay incorrect it's about a guy that grows it that kills people ah bait and switch I hate the movie it's it's genuinely really bad it's not funny hold on a goblin must have affected that camera and now I'm noticing I don't have as much head room as before cuz the goblin must have also bumped into the tripod well I think uh one second there we go now I have head room oh my god there must be there must be like a wizard nearby some magic to fix the continuity I feel so weird um yeah so the movie is look not good but okay again I've I've also seen more garbage films uh and it and it's fun like yeah you don't go into this movie like you you you see it and you don't even go in expecting a good horror movie you don't expect anything good but I have fun with it it's it's my it's my favorite bad movie yeah and I can see why it would be someone's favorite bad movie I as someone who's like always grown up a Mystery Science Theater it's going to be impossible for me to pick like what is my favorite bad movie right uh but yeah no this one's still it if you want to ease someone into watching so bad at so good movies this is a good one to do this this is a good start cuz it's like it's it's fun there's definitely a structure if you want to start with like those really bad cheesy horror movies I would say this is probably like the like the 101 course that you would give to people it's not even the worst goblins movie I've seen hobgoblins which was terrible that was a Mystery Science Theater episode and then the director around like 2009 or something I think he made a hobgoblins 2 maybe he saw the best worst movie which 2009 watch it's actually worse than the first one because now he's trying to be like self-aware like bad that's what I hate about stuff like that too like this movie wasn't trying to be bad yeah it was trying to be a genuinely really good movie which is why I think it has so much heart which is a big thing about the documentary the documentary States how all of the people that worked on the movie and all the moving Parts they come together yeah it's bad it's not a good movie but you can tell there was passion behind it you can tell that the people that made it had fun except the director he seems miserable he does he seems really annoyed when you say it's a bad movie he seems really orary there's a part in the documentary where he's like yeah they laugh at the parts that are funny but they also laugh at the serious parts and I don't understand but yeah he again he has worst films I've seen his worst films yeah this this is if if you have friends who don't really know horror movies they don't really know like the be movies The Mystery Science Theater s movies this is a really good introduction to those yes CU you can start him off like hey it's all downhill from here I do love when uh what you called Hardy says in the documentary the guy said uh some a friend told him he started watching it and he went turn it off it gets worse uh but yeah it was fun to revisit this one now have you seen either troll three there's a third one I know I was reading about the movie in preparation for this episode and on Wikipedia yeah which the most trusted Source in New Right obviously um it says that he's like working on troll three and they say that in the documentary too yeah but then it never happened and then it just never happened no he's working on troll two part two oh troll well that's troll three it's close enough well here's the thing there are two troll threes uh so you have there's more you have two options you have two options okay you could watch a movie that is in actually in the atour franchise which is like a con the Barbarian type character and from what I read I've definitely I've seen both of these but from what I read uh the movie is either called aour 3 or aour 4 so I guess they were doing a lot of atour movies and retitling them oh no and the reason they call it troll three even though it's a sword in sorcery movie is because A's like little monster friend is wearing a troll two mask oh my God but he's like a character who talks like this troll too yeah a mask from this movie which is why they decided in some areas to call it troll three the other troll three I guess it's fine the other troll three is a movie again has several titles either creepers crawlers and then contamination. 7 it's about killer Vines toxic waste gets into the ground and that makes like Vines and Roots evil okay I guess I can see where this would be called troll three if it's in relation to this I suppose I don't in some areas they called it troll three I don't know why well it's it's if it if killer vegetarians is troll too just cut out the vegetarians and go right to the killer plants yeah so again the Italian to then and actually I'm starting to think uh the zombie franchise so in Italy Dawn of the Dead the original Dawn of the Dead was released as zombie yeah then then there was a zombie 2 which all everyone here just calls zombie but in Italy it was zombie to yeah but then they just started making sequels that had nothing to do with zombie like just they just started slapping the name zombie on movies and I think claudo did like Zombie 3 and zombie 4 so it's just a they have a proud tradition over there of just not caring about copyright laws and just putting fake titles on things they were like hey it's this made money yeah we'll just call it that that will help what movie did good there recently troll we're going to call this troll too yeah uh this movie's this movie is great I enjoy it it's fun it's fun not again not that bad but it is a really good time uh let us know what you think do you think this is the worst movie ever made or do you share our correct opinion also can you let me know if the monitor is now blocking my face on the wide cam since I went all the way down yeah I'm actually the new Star I think I'm good you're but I guess that's a a future you problem to see in post only that Goblin hadn't kicked the goddamn cat the darn magic users I unfortunately I lent my ston hedge Rock to a friend curs I don't know how to get to fix it all right yeah uh where can we find you Ian uh I don't know have a social media yeah I'm on X X his ex is going to give it to you okay rip uh it's true God I forgot about that oh f a lot of death in this one it's a really sad episode morbid and yet for reasons un known I'm giggling a lot I don't know why but humans cope with humor that's how it was like a goblin didn't give me anything before the shoot but yeah uh I'm I'm I'm on like the artist formerly known as Twitter I'm on Instagram Adam does that [ __ ] joke that's funny all right not the guy that hates minus one yeah it's the guy who he's a bozo what a what a wrong opinion I can't believe all the Godzilla podcasts mine had to be associated with the one is the the guy that hates the Godzilla movie that everybody likes I'm like this is the worst subscribe to Cilla or watch the live episodes to know what we're talking about uh but yeah that's it from us goodbye take care remember to like comment and subscribe check out our other videos and patreon page

Channel: Hack The Movies

Views: 20,161

Keywords: troll 2, troll 2 review, troll 2 movie review, troll movie review, troll 2 hack the movies, troll 2 talking about tapes

Id: GVA9Svm2Tk8

Length: 85min 7sec (5107 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 22 2024