- [Child's Voice] I'm blogging. I'm boring. I'm Colleen. - Hello. Happy June third. You guys, I tried to venture out today. Didn't go so hot. Oof, my hair is another level of insanity. I, no clothes fit me. It's just how it is right now. My biggest jeans, I'm
wearing my biggest jeans. I'll show you what I'm
dealing with right now, okay? They're unbuttoned right now but... This is what we've come to. I have to take this, and I have to put it in here. This is how I can have my pants. This is like a trick, that I've seen a lot of pregnant women do, so they can still wear their
favorite pants, whatever. These are not my favorite pants. These are just my biggest pants. And so I was like, I
really need new clothes. Nothing fits me. I'm feeling strange in my body. So we went to go find clothes and, didn't really have any luck. What I want is like cozy
like, rompers and overalls. Things with pockets I need pockets. I'm a mom. I can't not have pockets. Not, it has nothing to
do with being a mom. I'm a human being. I need pockets. And most of the like
cute dresses and things, that you can wear when you are pregnant, don't have pockets. Which is a big dilemma for me. Maternity pants, I hate. They're expensive and
they're usually ugly. And, I just don't like them. I don't like stuff on my tummy, like tight on my tummy. And how maternity pants are is like, they cut off like right here and then, all of this area, is this tight, stretchy like really tight material. And I hate that. Like I just don't like it. I don't want to buy maternity
clothes yet cause I'm like, I'm like too small for maternity clothes. But my body is like a, a new shape that I like don't know how to shop for. It's like, you spend
your whole life figuring out how to shop for your body. And like learning what
kind of pants look good on your body that you like. And like the clothes that
make you feel confident. And those clothes don't fit me right now. So I'm like, what do I do? Because the pants that I normally buy, the stores I usually buy my pants from, don't work on me because
where they fit on my waist, because I'm pregnant and my tummy's bigger than they don't fit my butt and my legs. So then they're like, just look huge on me but they fit my waist. So anyway. No one asked. I don't know why I told you that. But my point is that I
tried to venture out. I tried to go to a store. And I immediately got
anxious and I was like, I don't like being out at a store. So I left. And then I forced myself
to go into another store. I was like, Colleen, just go. I went to another store
and I found some like dresses that are stretchy
that I'll use probably later in my pregnancy journey. But I need clothes that I'm
comfortable wearing everyday like jeans, cute shirts, leggings things. And that's what I don't have. So any advice on where to shop? Will you guys be my stylist? Where's your shop? Where's your favorite places to shop? My body's growing so much. It's like so frustrating. Cause I can't really,
like whatever I buy is not going to fit me in two weeks. I don't know guys. But, I need to go film a brand deal. And then I'm getting
another IV drip today. Which is good cause I've been
feeling pretty yucky today. And yeah, that's that? I love you. I'll see you in a little bit. Guys, I didn't film anything else today. My face, I feel like... I'm asking the internet. I probably could Google
it or ask an actual doctor or my nurse that comes to my house. I just got the IV drip and she
fills me with so many fluids. And I feel like when she
leaves, my face gets bloated. Yesterday I was watching the
footage from yesterday and I felt like right after
I got the drip, IV drip, my face looked bloated. I feel like it looks rounder
today too than it did. Is that a thing or am
I just gaining weight? Which is fine, normal and healthy. So we went in the pool and
I had to film a brand deal. Oh my goodness. I am tired. Today I'm really, really,
really, really, really, really really, really exhausted. Like can't stop yawning. Can
barely keep my eyes open. The IV drip of fluids today was good. It just hydrated me. I mean, nothing too exciting. My nausea was so bad today that the nausea medicine didn't
even really help that much. Which kind of sucked. But I'm just surviving guys. Surviving the first trimester
of a twin pregnancy. So fun. I have nothing to report. So I'll talk to you guys later. Erik did my hair. So, there's that. The, I don't, this IV thing guys. Very grateful for it. It does make me feel better. But it takes so long. I don't have two hours to sit and let liquids drip into my veins. I don't know about this. I don't know how long it's gonna last. I think I might need to
call my doctor and be like, can I just do it on the
days where I feel like I'm literally gonna die? Cause it's a little too much for me. I did end up buying a
couple of dresses today. I don't know if I mentioned
that earlier or not. I bought a couple of
dresses for like whenever I feel the energy to wear clothes
that aren't this sweatshirt. Which will be never. So I'll never wear them. But Erik said I should
try them on and do a - [Erik] Fashion show. - A fashion show. (Erik cheering in the background) - Should I do a fashion show? Let's do a fashion show. - [Erik] I just did your
hair for the fashion show. - Um, it looked really good. Dress number one for all those
cocktail parties I go to. - [Erik] Question. Can I ask a question? - You can ask a question.
- [Erik] Can I ask questions? - You can ask questions. Look at that tummy. - What, what are these? - This? You don't know what this is? - [Erik] I always see these things but I don't know what they are. No.
- This... - [Erik] We just ripped it off. - Yeah I rip them off. These... - [Erik] Let me rip the other one off. - Those are so you can hang
them because sometimes these like soft material, things like... - In other words they
slip off the hangers? - Uh huh. I just remembered from
my pregnancy with Flynn, that I was always looking
for dresses when I'd go to like events or just
like cute things, whatever. And it was so hard to find them. Oh Erik's just on the couch. It's so hard to find them
at like maternity stores and stuff that were cute. And I found that if you go to like cheap, cheap clothing stores,
they have all these like stretchy material dresses
that are kind of cute. It's kinda cute. Can I tell you that? I literally, it's... This store is called Q. And I literally in my mask walk, I'm walking past every
store that you've heard of. Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Forever 21. I'm walking past them
all and go, cueing on. (laughter) And that's what made me want to go in. Was it made me say... I
don't blame cueing on. - [Erik] I really like this. - Yeah. Right. It's like, how cute? It's probably 10 bucks. And it show, look at that bump, man. - [Erik] We need a walk. - A pregnant walk? - [Erik] No. That's your
pregnant runway walk? - Yeah, my pregnant walk. So it these little flowers or something. Are these flowers? Oh my
God, look at this tummy. - [Erik] I think they're fried eggs. - They do kind of look like fried eggs. And it's like ruched on the top. Is that what that's called? Ruching? I don't know. I'm going to put you
guys up a little higher. And I'm going to, model the next dress. I will... I promise you. You'll never see this dress again. It's a momo and I love it. And I'll tell you why I love it. It's flowy, it's comfortable, it has f-ing pockets. - [Erik] It's great. I like this one. - It's literally just a big shirt. But I'm not mad about it. And it'll like look cute
whenever my belly's all big. - [Erik] It's a good one.
- It's not tight anywhere. I literally feel like I'm naked. Like, - [Erik] It looks cozy. I wish I could, like,
I could run with this. - I'm living for her. I like this. Like I do wish it gave me more shape because it is just a big momo. But it's got pockets and pockets sold me. - [Erik] No it's great. - And it was probably
$10 and I'm not kidding Erik hates this one. He just gagged. Why did you gag lovey? - [Erik] I didn't gag. - You literally gagged. Okay. You can't see the whole thing. So, I mean it's ugly, but like... It's kind of like, this
could be cute, but not on me. Say your thoughts. - [Erik] Well would you
wear it with no bra? - Yes. - [Erik] Just braless? - Yeah, I'd wear it with no bra. Is that what you're laughing
at, that you can see my bra? - [Erik] No. - Are you 12? Oh I see your bra. Ow. (laughing together) - I'm glad that was painful for you love. But do we hate her? Who looks like this at 10 weeks? Who? - [Erik] Maybe people pregnant with twins? - I look six months pregnant. Love, that's wild. - [Erik] I think it's
the knot-tie gap thing that's throwing me. - Okay, you don't have to like it. It's not, it's not good. Okay. Whoa. This um... What are those paintings called
that you look at in therapy? - [Erik] Roshin.
- And they're like, what do you see? That's what it looks like to me. - [Erik] What do you see? - I see a uterus and an elephant. - [Erik] I see a construction site. - I see two legs. And this is what my
lady bits are gonna look like after the twins come out. - [Erik] Let's see your butt now. - What do you see? - [Erik] I see two seals
hugging and kissing. - Okay. Anyway, this is the next one. I can't really see anything. - [Erik] I like it. I like this one. - Oh I don't like this. I'll
never wear this one again. - [Erik] No. - Guaranteed I'll never wear this again. Promise you.
- [Erik] This one's a winner. It's a Henley dress. - What's that mean? - [Erik] Henley's are
the shirts that have like the three buttons. - There's the bump for ya. This is the dress. I'm an international super spy. What? - [Erik] All this in
tonight looks so pregnant. - This is what I'm saying. You know love, I've been wearing sweatshirts and hoodies 24/7. - [Erik] No but like tonight it's like... - It's crazy. - [Erik] It's like, oh here
we go, they're coming soon. - Like, please show me a photo of anyone 10 weeks pregnant that
looks this pregnant. - [Erik] No but I'm saying,
days ago you were saying, oh you had a little bump here. Now you look full on pregnant. - This is why I'm saying. It's weird. Like, is something wrong with me? Because the babies are down here. What is this? - [Erik] Is it like, just your body? - I think it's everything
like swelling and like, I don't know. I'm sure they'll tell
me and make fun of me. - [Erik] I like that one. I like this one. - You do? - [Erik] Yeah. - It doesn't have pockets
so it's kind of a loser. But it shows all my like creases, which I'm not a fan of, but it's fine. Oh my God, this literally
looks like two hands are holding my boobs and I'm not kidding. Um, they had a lot of
tie-dye dresses I guess. I think I'm going to hate her because, I'm confident since this was $10, the white part is see-through and there's no underwear you can wear with it, that you won't be able to see. - [Erik] You can see it now. - No pockets. - [Erik] See your whole anus. - But like with a cute
like, jacket or something. - [Erik] Careful.
- Like some funky boots. You know what I mean? - [Erik] It's great. - Like with a cute jacket. - [Erik] Little jackets. - Tell me in the comments below, what's your favorite of the
dresses I'll never wear? Because... - [Erik] I like that one. - But like, I used to
have like meet and greets, you know, like events, dinners, but like the biggest thing
was meet and greets. I wanted to wear like
dresses that showed my bump and shirts that showed my
bump in meet and greets. And now I just stay at home. So I just wear leggings
and sweatpants everyday. When will I ever wear these? I'm not going to wear these
sitting around the house. - [Erik] Why not? Are they not comfortable.
- Because I sit cross-legged. You'll see all the things. There's no pockets.
It's cold in the house. If we were going on a date, I'll wear one. What's your favorite?
Tell me in the comments. What's up kids? How you doing? Just singing musical theater. You know, someone asked me on
Twitter the other day, today? Was it today? Maybe it was
today. I don't remember. Someone asked me, is there
a song that I used to sing or listen to with Flynn
and it made him move when he was growing in my body? And the answer is, yes. There's a song from Light
in the Piazza called, Say it Somehow. It's a duet. And I love it. I think it's so freaking pretty. And I'll never forget. I was in my car alone driving to the mall, to get maternity clothes. Cause I was feeling gross
and like I wasn't in my body and I didn't fit in anything. And I just didn't feel like myself. And I was depressed. But I was so excited to meet my son who didn't even have a
name yet at that point. His name wasn't even Flynn yet. And I was singing that song in the car, like listening to the soundtrack. Because I listen to a lot
of Broadway soundtracks. And I was singing along, and
it's kind of like opera-y. So like have to, I was like
signing, like I was singing high and like vibrato-y and like
opera-y in the car alone because that's who I am. And he started just
moving like crazy in me. It'll make me cry because
I remember feeling like, oh this isn't just a baby moving. He like, he knows I'm singing. And he like, likes this song. Like I just could feel it. I just, any other songs I
listened to or any other time he ever moved, I never felt that way. But with that particular
song, I felt that way. Just the way he was moving. He'd never moved before. And I could tell it was like
when I was seeing the higher notes and I'm sure it was
just cause like my diaphragm like was pushing down on him or something. In my mind I made it up that
it was because of that song and the lyrics. It's a love duet between
these two people who don't speak the same language. And so it's called Say it Somehow. And it basically saying
like we're in love. It doesn't matter that
we don't really speak the same language. Like say it somehow, I will understand. I know you. So you don't have to speak English to me for me to understand that you love me. Say anything and I will
understand what you mean because I just can tell
you love me, I can feel it. And so, I'm gonna cry. So anyway, I remember feeling like, I don't know who this person is. I don't know who is growing in my body. I don't know anything
about this little boy. I don't know what he looks like. I don't know what kind of
person he's going to be. I don't even know his name. But like, we are connecting
and like talking. And I... I'm so stupid, I'm going to cry. But I could tell. Like, oh he loves me and I love him and I don't even know him yet. And so that song has a whole
different meaning for me. It's like how I communicated
with Flynn to let him know to like, say it somehow. Roll around in there. Punch me in the gut. Like punch me in the ribs,
kick one out of place. Kick my pelvic bone and shatter it. Go for it kid. Like if that's your way
to tell me you love me, I will take it. So that's the song that
means a lot to me from Flynn. And I would sing it a lot
to him when he was born too. After he was born, it would
help him fall asleep and stuff. And I sang it the other
day in the car, and I wept. Because I was like, oh, now
I'm singing it to my twins. I don't know. It just meant a lot to me. So anyway, that made me think like, oh I want to go and sing Waitress songs. Cause I haven't sung a Waitress song since I've been pregnant. I haven't even listened to the
soundtrack, that I can think of, since I've been
pregnant this time around. And I sang it a lot when
I was pregnant with Flynn and I sing it a lot to
Flynn after he was born. And then obviously I was
in the show on Broadway. And so I was like, I wonder
if these show would have a whole new meaning to me now
that I've done it on Broadway. Now that Flynn's older and now
that I'm pregnant with twins. So I'm going to try to
sing Everything Changes. Which is a song that onstage
every night, on Broadway. I know I don't deserve it. I agree. I would sob because the
lyrics are just so, so good. If you've ever had a kid. If you've never had a kid but, especially like that feeling when
you first meet your kid. The lyrics are just like, oh. So it just made me sob
every night on stage. I would just cry as she sung
it to her little doll baby. ♪ I was lost, for you to find ♪ ♪ Now I'm yours, and you are mine ♪ ♪ Two tiny ♪ - Hmmm. ♪ Four tiny hands, two pairs of eyes ♪ ♪ An unsung melody is mine ♪ ♪ For safekeeping ♪ ♪ And I will guard, with my life ♪ ♪ And hang the moon for it to shine ♪ ♪ On you both sleeping ♪ ♪ What I thought was so permanent fades ♪ ♪ And I swear I'll remember to say ♪ ♪ We were both born today ♪ ♪ We were all born today ♪ (nervous giggle) ♪ Oh and it's true ♪ ♪ What did I ♪ - I'm gonna make me cry. ♪ What did I do ♪ ♪ To deserve you ♪ - I'm gonna cry. I'm so pregnant. Oh God. Oh. ♪ Thank God ♪ ♪ For you ♪ Oh, that song is just so good you guys. I'm having two of those, not just one. It's not two tiny hands
and a pair of eyes. It's four tiny hands
and two pairs of eyes. That is crazy. You know, every day, every
time I upload a video, I get so many comments that say like, I still can't believe she's having twins. And honestly, same. Like it does not feel real at all. Like it does not feel real at all. Like every time I go get an ultrasound and I see them, I'm like,
oh, I'm still having twins? That's still a thing? That wasn't a dream? Like it just, it feels like a dream. It doesn't feel real. And every time I ask mothers of twins, tell me in the comments
please I'd love to hear from you moms of twins. Where are my moms of twins? Every time I've asked. Like I have a couple mom
friends who had twins in the past. And they've said that like they didn't believe that
their whole pregnancy. They were just like, what? It's like shocking. And then you have them
and you're like, oh yeah this is how it's supposed to be. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow morning I'm starting
off the day with the IV. We're trying it different
tomorrow where it's not in the middle of the day. It's the first thing when I wake up. I'm going to sit on my couch
for two hours when I wake up. Getting dripped full of fluids. With a big old needle stuck in my veins. That's the only part I don't like. I wish they could just
like make me swallow it. Don't put it in a vein. I don't want things in my veins. I have so many other holes to choose from. Like why a vein? I don't like that. I'm going to go. Goodnight. (upbeat theme song plays)
