Iris After Hours - Episode 18 - Diane Venora

welcome to iris after hours casual conversations with inspirational speakers off the clock hi welcome back to iris after hours we are here in our new studio i am with my co-host nathan kotzer yes and we are so excited to introduce one of our heroes one of our mentors our amazing acting coach uh woman who has taken on the theatrical film theater acting world by storm over the last 38 years she is literally a sign in a wonder but that most incredible thing is she is a believer she is a follower of jesus a radical one yes and and amazing she is like a prophet as well she is a mother a grandmother and a healer like she has a really really great sense of of really seeing where people are at and bringing the presence of god to help healing and she is a very good friend of ours as well the one the only the immeasurably amazing dianne fenorah thank you guys i love you guys it's so good i'm so glad you're our friend as well that's an amazing person it's true everything i said is true that's true friend as well hyperbolic but thank you i love you guys i feel like honored to be your friend that you're my friends i do diane it has been an incredible journey your life because obviously you've shared with friends so we know a lot but we want to share with our whole podcast audience some of the amazing things that you've experienced and learned you're an artist in your own right um an amazing artist with with and i'd have to say there's an artist with so much integrity that you inspire both christie and i speak for christy here so much to to have that incredible like boldness that is like supercharged with humility at the same time i mean that is a crazy crazy mix to have those two things going on let's just open with that how do you do it diane like you are so bold so much integrity calling things as they are such a straight shooter and you've got this humility that is willing to say did i do something wrong did i offend you have i you know and that you come low constantly come low as a person as a mentor to to to you know lift others up around you and make sure everyone else around you is is doing well oh i've had to learn that right yeah um i the journey i i don't know i think i've always been kind of i've been a shy person as a child but i lived in a home that said do it faster make it happen so it kind of pushed me into a place that wasn't really normal for me if you didn't do it then you might get left out or you might not eat or you might not so you had to because you were one of six yeah it's faster speak it faster i haven't got time to listen to you which is great preparation by the way for television because you only have 30 seconds and can you get it done fast so i feel like my entire life of going really fast has prepared me for for for entertainment as far as humility that's something there's a paradox to humility i think for actors and performers um in the christian world if you are successful sometimes they say you're not humble or if you're bold they say you're arrogant or whatever and they mix it and sometimes forgive me but some people get a bit jealous right they don't say it so they cloak it in a christian christianese um a friend of mine who is a christian writer and went to nyu wrote a poem and she's published and she's also several masters degrees she wrote a poem called the paradox of humility because the church didn't understand someone like me and she talked about how all the world needs air and water how important they are but fire is important too and she said fire that can that can burn up you know exposing liars and child molesters and devour murderers and things like that that that sometimes you're the only love in a frozen room so she told me that i should stay who i was because i was in a church when i first got saved i tried to be like them it was like wearing somebody else's armor somebody else's outfit so being an actor i figured i could do that i could wear somebody else's costume until finally i i felt like i was dying i felt like i was truly dying inside in this in churchianity um i needed to get out but i didn't know how to get out churchianity yeah it was like churchy yeah and i remember looking out the window in new york and all my friends were were at the theater across the street for the tonys and i was felt locked up in a in a church where people didn't understand that i had to like eat it and and suffocate in order to be accepted in the community which i wanted very much to be accepted in because i had just received christ and um what did i do so that wasn't an easy transition no tell us that story how did it happen obviously there was a point where you made a decision as an adult but to receive christ yes well i was in a major car crash i was i was i've always had after going to juilliard i i had nothing but success because the school is so difficult to get into stay in i'm not saying yeah just for our listeners juilliard is probably probably the best acting school well it's it's one of i mean when i went there i felt it was like the golden age oh you went through with robin williams yeah and kelsey grammer and the great john houseman ran the school and we had phenomenal teachers and we had guest artists like whenever there'd be a play that came into into broadway we got to see it he always made us go we had the cheap seats but we went and um so richard burton taught us poetry and and anthony hopkins and and then we had a master class with the great uh pavarotti oh my goodness and arthur rubinstein and we had classes with uh john gielgud spoke to us and siobhan mckenna and the great zoe caldwell and vanessa redgrave gave us a whole thing on hamlet and um i remember her saying what is the definition of acting and everybody in the class was quoting stanislavski and i was in a very bad relationship and i kind of knew something and finally it was my turn i said well i think acting is meeting a crisis and dealing with it the reason why i said that because i couldn't i couldn't and then she went through the whole group and then she said the person who said acting is beating a crisis and dealing with it that's that's the answer and everyone kind of like said oh fedora and i was like no it's because i haven't figured out how to do that you know so so acting brought me face to face with things that i thought by acting i could avoid but instead acting brought me directly to confront to compete that you needed to confront through the play but you have to bring your you have to lend yourself to it so if i'm running away from life i'm not going to be a classical actor at the juilliard school there's no way after four years of that kind of training where they've been four years four years in the two years they take is away from you so they it's built the humility of great acting is that the play is always bigger than the actor so you are there to serve so to me as i got older i thought it reminds me of the kingdom of god come on really because you need you need discipline you need to be self-less wow you need to be curious about others you need to serve the play serve the actor serve the producer serve the director it's not all about you it's not about you in fact it's it's you are the least thing in it but what the greatest thing is the role that you are playing can you keep up with a great writer can you appreciate someone else's humanity without judgment you can't judge a role that's a big key you cannot can i judge you you can't judge the character you're playing at all so i'm looking forward exactly and then you have to find you everything is about love the greatest acting is through love love is the only creative force so if you make negative choices they won't say this in class but i'm piecing this together as i'm going on so you have no audiences so whatever you think you're good at they take it out that you become almost free open to to allow things to come to you then this brought me into a spiritual component if an actor spiritually is not open you can go through every kind of training every kind of technique but if something inside you is not good not healthy you could literally build a career on your problem you can build a career on your anger you can build a career your on your abuse and then as the years go by that stronghold gets bigger because hollywood brands you you're this kind of an actor and they give you the same but the same with the same now you have great actors like danny day lewis you have meryl streep who are not branded no they can go in other directions which tells me there's enormous health in that actor as well so i'm looking at all these different components so for me um the school because because my life came up in front of me and the school gave me a four-year scholarship and believed me somehow they cared about me somehow they thought i had something that they actually brought me to my first psychiatrist and they paid for it so that i could have well they really looked after each other something like that and juilliard does because it takes they only pick seven actress seven women per year is it rare to get a scholarship there i imagine i i think so yeah so if they pick seven in your class seven women how many graduated at the end only five right so there is a culling process over those four years yeah so the first two years they decide who's going to stay who's not going to stay by your third year they have the company then the company they support they will pay you they put you on tour um we went to brazil for three weeks we went to the bermuda festival we replaced jessica tandy and hume chrome crowman for uh because she was ill and we played um uh because it's a british i mean it was a british colony so they they play you know god saved the queen before and they have a box for the royals you know and we did midsummer night's stream to a big success for us um our class who did you play you meet someone else i played hermia yeah robin williams played like how many fairies and and kelsey played the king and was he bottom roman williams no well no that he he he's funny no matter what he did a lot of we did a lot of mask work so he played like mustard seed crazy role characters so uh but anyway the bottom line was i felt that acting could be a religion and it bothered me because i didn't want to have that religion i was raised catholic i really loved god um tell us about that experience so like we're here at juilliard and we're leading up to your salvation can we just backtrack now we'll come back to that but just you're brought up a catholic what experiences did you have of god as a child well i i always i feel like if you call somebody a mystic i would be a mystic the mysteries of god i was always fascinated by the mysteries of god and to this day and then people would say to me why do you always wear black and i'd say well um i was raised in a school that that was the uniform of classical training but it also it suited me till i found out at going to bethel that black in one of our our classes black is the color of mystery oh the deep things of god the unknown things so i thought ah dressed appropriately then also because it keeps me calm also in a school like that um i just coached people from the central school of speech and drama that came in from london uh last week yes we were there at that workshop right and they were dressed they were in the lobby dressed exactly like like juilliard you know um but the church seems to put labels on things unfortunately and they'd say well you should wear other colors and so i wore red today hi i love it um that's the other color i do like but i wear black because i wear black everything because it calms me also at school it's because they want to see the actor the the what do you call it the gesture the shape they don't want to see clothes they want to see the performance yeah you know the the jet whatever that is that i call it the plastic of movement and and and mind so um when i received my first communion this is hard because uh we had had to confess our sins and i didn't have any that i knew of so i made them up because i was seven i thought i should make them up so i at least be uh this is when you were seven yeah so i said well i and you have to tell me times and i would say at least how many times and find the preschool excuse me don't you think that's a mortal sin i go oh okay i'm more tolson a mortal brother the venial sin and i went oh okay guess that's good anyway i just didn't know so i thought i want to please people so i come up with something i see always acting and then convincingly but when i came to the first communion i'll never forget it when the i believed in the trans whatever configuration of transitive statistics and so when i received it i'll never forget this as long as i live i felt the presence now i know the presence of god just i mean overwhelmingly like as if it like like as if it was like a i can't like a wave of just presence that then did this it took off of my shoulders a heavy weight that i'd been carrying almost for seven years i felt that something had come and removed from me all these heavy burdens that i didn't know i had but i knew that i now didn't have them it was a true experience of the presence of god so i felt that god not only knew who i was he loved me and i felt it in that moment so i love the church i mean i love the catholic church you were how old i was seven that was seven yeah wow i'll never forget it and i knew something changed yes and i've always been a child who i didn't sleep much as a child but i would always sit on a radiator and look out and pray and know that there was something beyond that star something beyond but i just wanted it to to to help me without knowing what it what i was asking you know so that child um is still with me i've had a lot of healing for her um and in bethel school of supernatural ministry that that that changed my life in a great way i've had a lot of healing a lot of things yeah that your journey of healing yeah obviously it's incredible how many processes you've gone through in your healing because the people that really inspired you because the bottom line is that i've always believed that freedom in here is more important than life itself and for me as a performer and as a creator the great artists that i've known with all of the best baby in their lives they have a freedom inside whether it's based on anger or genius or whatever but if i thought but even if that actor had total freedom spiritually what would he then be because what i was always aware of is that an actor can be trapped in the gift that he has because as the years go by he can't get away from whatever because whatever makes you famous in this town now everybody owns a piece of you you're branded agents managers uh club dates tours you put out an album they want you to tour with it for a year but maybe the artist already has two more albums but they and they slow it down and everybody takes a piece of you so you go in for it i remember what houston's saying it's not fun anymore oh whitney yeah it's not fun anymore or then it becomes like it's like it owns you so i was always aware of my freedom inside i don't want it to own me but it would own me if i get wrapped up in the money if i get wrapped up in the idolatry which it is and it's very easy to say i love a lot of christians saying oh i want to do this i go yeah but you've never tasted success at that level and if you do you better be dang sure yeah that you have nothing in common with that kind of ambition or need for approval or fame because it will take you out yeah like that if it's just gonna ask you about that you say you should have nothing nothing in common with the spirit of hollywood nothing accounts the spirit of babylon there's a spirit of assyria there's all these all these different idols the only person who addressed that i mean would be katie souza's ministry on kingdom of the sun breaking off idolatry i thought to myself i'm not gonna i don't have any idolatry so i went and took it anyway because i want freedom and i put it on my way to bethel and the first one i had second one i had them all nine hours later i'm only halfway through these seven seed these are going but me but when i got there suddenly i was cl there was a clarity wow and authority because she said if you have anything in common with the spirit of hollywood you'll have no authority in it wow so that really literally means if there's stuff inside of you that is unresolved wanting yeah it will play off like bad things or wanting the bad parts of success not even bad they could be they could be good parts the point is what at what price if you be one of your i mean one of the most famous people that you love and honor i bet some of my heroes and i meet them personally i go oh i wish i never met them because creatively i love their work personally i was so disappointed in who they were as people and suddenly my whole heart went like oh and then i saw what is the difference what is the disconnect how can you not be who you are now in this business you can't because you look at somebody wearing like michael jackson would wear sunglasses on the red carpet why it was the only way he could keep himself away from the the you know bonos are same that's what he says about where he works because because the press will come through separation they will say things to you that you want you want to go like this you're kidding me you didn't ask me that question and you just this thing rises up in you so you have to find a way to be so free that when you hear something you're not offended be unoffendable how to be completely free of idolatry how to be free and that way humor comes joy comes and you can turn it around i keep thinking of when ronald reagan was was what they were they were going after him about his age remember that this is like the debate of debates but jesus is before he was president yeah because he had lost he lost the first debate so they were talking about how old he was and so he had said something like this you know i really don't want this debate to be about age i mean i just want you to know that i actually can understand that my opponent's immaturity and lack of of of age i won't hold that against him it's like so he turns it because there was something in him that he was not offended by those things and a lot of people have that as a natural character trait i didn't i was raised with a lot of a lot of criticism a lot of judgment and when kids are raised in that kind of environment they become that and one thing you don't want is bitterness and one of my for my family criticism judgment when in doubt criticize condemn and judge that's our default position so god had to deal with that by healing all of that from me so that then the clarity of that and then suddenly um other parts are open because i can see a different role without coloring it that when i worked with an actor who everything she did was like every every line was like so bitter and i said um so i had to go in another way saying there the way so i had to record it so she could hear it do you hear how everything you do comes like yeah yeah i said that's that's spiritual that that's in your soul so we'll heal that and we'll change the way you you respond to the text so she did the work and she's working now wow so i'm just saying that all acting did for me was i love humanity actors are geniuses at observing humanity without judgment looking at someone's life and saying what if i put your shoes on even someone like hitler if you got to play him what could you possibly love about him wow that's amazing and if there's nothing you can love about him then don't play him because there's something in his mind where he was right he was right he was to me like we could call he was demon-possessed but but you look at the etymology a child like manson a child like hitler who was abused severely by a father and all of the the russian dictators all came from catholic families they had god you know and that's why they turned around and said religion is the opiate of the people because god was was a farce and they were like beat up in the name of yeah treated terribly right and so you see that um nikki cruz what would um cross in the switchblade did you ever meet me cruz i i met him i met him he was at church he was in new york yeah but he he was that kid who was raised by warlocks and witches and hit with hangers and and locked up in a closet and he turned into this that's from those famous book run baby run and the cross of the swedish player right so you have to see what what happened to those kids the terrorists have taken these young kids all those little soldiers those child soldiers and they rape them and sodomize them and wound them and then they become these terrorists so so we see the result of such evil yeah how do we love that how do we how do we pray for that because these kids have been tormented so um all this to say is that it led me on the path to ask questions of humanity because if i'm going to be an interpreter of it i have to be free enough so i haven't got my own cloudiness to observe it without judgment right so that's why i have a hard time with the politics in acting now because it has it has forgiven me but it has reduced the text of great work yes by political correctness i've got a blanket on top of it yeah it's like so everything gets small i love epic i love the great parts i love shakespeare and chekhov and shawn and and and you've fought against that in some of the roles that you've taken on i know sometimes the directors come up to you and said do it like this and you've just well depends it depends i mean when i work with great directors i'm quiet yeah i just go mm-hmm but if i work with directors that are either being pushed by a committee say i'm not good with committees my television for me is always telling challenge well because five people tell you how to play a scene but meanwhile there's one way to play the scene for me based on understanding the text i can go in different directions but if you say say it like this now remember i had no healing then so i just went well i can say it like that for you this is dull is watching paint dry but i can do that for you oh my god i always say actors never do what i did however i succeeded in it because it was me but you'll get away with that but i didn't care about money i didn't care about whether they hired or fired me why because there was something in me as an artist that knew it's like a musician i listened to prince talk sometimes they go and he goes it's your integrity that's what he goes integrity this is where i want to produce it but you can't produce it you well all right i'll listen to you and then in the end he goes no my way is better because he knew why because the artist is a lonely person he works on his craft he works on his music he works if he's a writer he's working out he learns but he it's his words it comes through his his brain and his heart and his heartbeat and his cells and he puts it out there yes it's inspiring so so it it's not to say it's perfect because you we want to submit ourselves to greater people but when someone comes in who's flagrantly like takes it down 10 notches i had a choice and i have done i've said okay let it go but but if it's if it's about the main character thrust that i'm playing the guest star i fought for it and won because i didn't care i said it i said look this is what it's going to be for me i understand what you're saying i said but um because this character is so cliched if we don't let this part come in like it just did then it's not really quite interesting and you did hire me you did hire me if you hired someone else i can understand that but since i'm here this is what i see and i'd like to do it if you don't want to do it now i understand then we will just cut it and they're like all right we'll do it next and then they they said to each other oh now she's mad and and now i'll have to be here forever i didn't know they said that that's why i came in sat down one take in out done and they felt like because so when you're trained in the theater you only get one take yeah so you're actually a producer's dream come on because a lot of the actors who have not taken acting training in theater and have been on the boards and doing repertory and playing great parts they can cost a producer thousands and hundreds of thousands of dollars just because i don't have to do it again it's a professionalism and when i was on movie sets i mean people would say to me like the wardrobe would say are you from the theater i say yes i knew it i said well why because all your clothes are completely picked up they're all hung up your jewelry is in the right boxes your shoes are in the right thing and your laundry is in the right bag i go well doesn't everybody do that and the man looked at me and said armani on the floor armani on the floor prada shoes where are they no all i can say is thank god for the theater and people like you i said oh you're welcome thank you juliar so discipline yeah and i think that in the in the in the in our god is love so you came out of juilliard sorry to cut you off heading back to your encounter with god in the car accident and by the way we're going to do several of these podcasts with you because we cannot fit your incredible story oh we can listen to you so so we get we so we can take our time here um but what happens you lea you graduate from juilliard you have your first job in the three sisters in 1978 which is like 38 years ago your first professional gig remember it completely come on so what happened in your journey from 1978 to when did you meet when did you really have that encounter with god i didn't meet god until 1986. 86 wow um because i just so what happened in those eight years see well i just got job job job job i was doing really well but i was so miserable inside i i made bad choices in my life i had a lot of negativity a lot of self-destruction got involved in drugs um you got married i got married um your finest director he was a young director of photography at the time but a genius absolute genius always married genius and you married the man um but i love i love talent um and he was just a phenomenal human being um and you had maja your daughter they had that was now that was odd because i was in a in a in a movie with bob fosse and then um i found out that i was pregnant and i thought how good that's great and then i thought and then bob fosse said what do you mean he said well we've waited two years to fight cast this role and i said i know but i'm having a baby now and he was like well we'll put the baby into the script so they put the baby in this crowd and i thought but this is wearing a bikini by the pool and then all of a sudden my christian my catholic came up like i don't think that's right i don't think one should do that so i said i don't think i want to be in this anymore. and he goes what what do you mean well anyway so i i walked out of it because there was there's some pornography elements in in in the film and i didn't want to be part of it there was something from that little girl who received communion back when she was seven see so all i know is that god god what he what he when you say yes to him i don't care where you are how you are what religion you say yes he's still there because i had this funny feeling like the need to protect my child wow in the womb so i went i'm not doing that and bob fosse was so mad i go no i'm not doing this and so i left he was very upset he was very suspicious superstitious so he and there were a lot of things that happened on that set um one of the young kids who played young fosse was killed in a crash in connecticut and then the producer who was part of our production team he died of a heart attack and he kept saying how's diane's baby did giant have her baby they go yes she did he goes oh good i'm glad that happened you know stuff like that wow and um i have no regrets about that that's amazing i was working with great great people and and then having a child and i remember putting my daughter in a in a little sack auditioning for wolfen and it was michael wadley who had won the academy award for um woodstock and he had long hair he was a harvard dropout he was really kind of like cool you know and i went in there after some really wonderful actresses and i had no one take care of my daughter so i just put her over on a table and i did my audition and it was like postpartum and he said i hired you out the spot i thought how cool was that a baby in the sack because he's because he was a hippie so he hired me because i had the baby in the saddle but i may not have been worthy of that role he goes oh no no i just love that whole whole thing so you never know how you get hired that's great that's great that was wolfen yeah and i remember because i met lindsey krauss afterwards lindsay had auditioned for it lindsey was married to david mam at the time so we're at david mamet's house because david was doing he wrote the screenplay for the verdict and andre was the director of photography on that film yeah so we're all at their house and there's lindsey going yes i know you got that part i went what part she said wolf and i said oh you were up for it she goes yes and i knew she was a better actress than i was i thought i don't know why you got it i said i don't either said that to you i i loved your last play what would you say meanwhile her husband's there and you know david's like oh man you know whatever but it was fun but it's fun meet a lot of good people a lot of great people we got the thing is holding on to who you are knowing who is when i was in chris valentin's class knowing who you are and whose you are that is it identity because every part's about identity who am i where am i what am i doing so for me because i didn't know who i was i could lend myself to a role and and go go into that without ever having to deal with diane but then so so i was at sozo this is amazing i've had all these different personalities they don't want to say anything and so also because they're also oh shabar oh you know what you talk about acting you know when a kid isn't in trouble or kid is abused he'll find all kinds of alters in order to take care of that one person so we we celebrate that family however they have to go because sometimes they rise up and they do bad things hmm yes wow my husband would say i don't know who i'm coming home to today i go but isn't it marvelous one wife 14 women yeah so you weren't doing real good and tell us about what happened we had what happened with this car accident like i i you were getting success in the world success in your career nobody would ever know nobody would ever know because honestly that's why i have great respect i have great respect for people who are successful and they're in at people magazine what is underneath it doesn't matter what people say because i grew up in a world that you don't tell anyone your business right you keep your business to yourself you don't air your laundry out in public so for me to be as open as i am is a very big switch so i would never tell anyone how i was feeling about anything um i was playing masha in the seagull uh in new york with michael christopher who had just won the pulitzer um and the toady award for the shadow box i love michael christopher this is on broadway he was on broadway yeah so i so i was in a play with with um joanne woodward who was paul newman's wife yes and she won academy awards and she was incredible actress at meisner all they're all meister actors and they also taught at mizer and lee strasberg and i was so she played um the mother my aunt and then boyd gaines another great tony award-winning actor also juilliard he played trap love it was a great cast and i played masha and for me it's a pivotal role because i've always seen the role played i never liked masha i thought i've seen great people play it and never understood the role i thought i want to go back and see you too i want to say i said dang it so i do all my research and everything and and and the director says i i don't know what you're doing i see he goes i liked your rehearsal yesterday we i thought it was very funny i go i know but that was yesterday and today i'm trying to find the other side of it i'm very scared he said i said well don't be scared i'm scared too i can't be scared for both of us i said don't worry sir at the end of by opening night i'll i'll have it and he was like his eyes i this poor man this is on broadway isn't it no no this was this was in new york this was upstate this was it at in um woodstock we did it we did it for summer with fordham fordham um the head of fordham university great guy larry sacharov brilliant director and so from this it would either move right because it had all these people and i got a i got a really good job out of it but when i was up there bosh it was a very difficult role because i had learned from andre serbon when i did vania in new york with f murray abraham and the great joe chaiken who is the father of the living theater and um and franny conroy from school and we're doing an and andre from romania who's like the bunderkind at the time he would say i hate your acting it's he used some expletives he says you and his yale and he mentioned merrell and sigourney said he called it this blank acting it's like museum like a museum piece you could sneeze and the dust flies off your terrible performances well i didn't understand what he was saying because i was right out of school you know and he said i want i want you to pretend you are the dying swan i want you to run i want you to clap down get up turn around three times and fall and then raise your arms and say you're lying i said okay so i was i failed in that production um so the next one that i did he said acting check off you americans you're so psychological and it you you the play is a tragic comedy it's between laughter and tears it's called a comedy you have to fight it like you're you're doing burlesque i said burlesque because i looked at burlesque on a tightrope you could go this way or that way i i liked what he said i couldn't figure it out but i i knew he was right so it's the museum of modern art and we watched the russian uh a russian film of vanya and saw how the russians do it then we saw how the british do it and there's something else so when i got to do maja i got it i knew what he meant he said your technique your voice you have all of that your hair the way you move he said now 1904 is now it has to bring it into the now so um i was doing all this research and work and at one time i was in the middle of rehearsal and because she's a character who said marsha why do you always wear black she said i i am in mourning for my life i'm unhappy and i thought hmm i saw pamela paint my joy she's brilliant and funny there's something not burlesque about that so how to push the envelope how to take a scene as high as it's going to go until you fall off the mountain before you fall off and kill yourself bring it back just a little bit and as low as the valley will hold you and before you go to hell bring it back just a little bit and between two polar zones you have a great performance i learned that from albert finney and i learned that it's julian finney because that was on wolfen yeah because he was he told me he said i'm nursing my daughter and he goes you know the americans they're so well i don't mean to be rude but you talk about naturalism you talk about everything being real well it's hogwash he said i call american actors lithium performers there's no highs and no lows it's a flat line and you call it natural but it isn't it's fake and i agreed with him and they told me about playing hamlet for peter hall and i said i had no idea but i played hannah how many years later but at that time he said oh you haven't played him yeah he said when i got to the to the i got to the part where polonius is behind the curtain i had this overwhelming feeling to take the rapier and to slash the curtains and peter hall said what are you doing alby that's how i go no no no it's dead for a duck it dead one thrust in one thrust out that's the way it's done that's the way it's always will be done and that's the way you will do it i said so what did you do he said i did it as he told me i went oh i took that away until i got to that place and hamlet and i found he was right but for me when they said how do you want him to die because mr papp said the same thing peter hall said but my fight director from england said how do you want him to die i said i want to feel him die at my arms and i want to come into the closet scene without a rapier because that actress knows what i'm going to do and i have to surprise her i don't want her to know what i'm going to do he said well how about a long dagger in the inside of your boot i said yes and someone's when you played that yeah someone joe papp said what i said you're the first woman to ever play hamlet first american woman to play first american woman friendship's on it sarah bernhardt did it even like alien did it um but i'm the first american to do it and so when i did that so i walked into this thing because i'm a woman playing this role before the gay movement came out and everything and when i came in and she she went hamlet now i father much offended i went my father much offended go go and all of a sudden i grabbed that thing from the inside of my boot throw it right up into her into her juggling and she went i went that's it that's the response i wanted yes and also and then grabbing the curtain and going over and over and over and over and feeling this man die so when she says what hast thou done i say nay i know not and it's true he doesn't know because it's almost like it's almost like an ejaculation it's like and there's the line what a rash and bloody deed is this because there's something about rashness that i've never seen hamlet thinks it's obviously he thinks it's the king yeah because he doesn't he can't kill his father so all these marvelous things and and um because when you own them that's why you can't tell certain artists when they you do the work alone so after rehearsal from 10 am to seven oh ten to six everybody left the theater i came back at seven by myself and worked till midnight until they threw me out of that theater because i had to find out what it really was gosh that is dedication you've had a full day of rehearsal yes and you come back by yourself until they threw me out oh my gosh so only because i worked with a very director i i i loved and honored and you can't yeah you can't if you're good i learned it's a big lesson i learned instead of telling him or talking about a role just show him if he otherwise he said i can out theorize hamlet with you because he's done it he's done it with every iconoclastic actor you can name and he knows all the lines so i said okay so i have to come into rehearsal knowing what i want to do and then when he says to do something i'll say uh yes could i just show you something he'd say yes and when i would show him with that commitment he goes you know i've never seen it done that way but i believe you you can do it wow but the only way to get there for me to come back was to work it so so when a musician works his licks and then someone says do this i think the musician knows more i think you can you can finesse it and you can you can agree on some things but there's some things an artist has to say this is it and they have to trust you because usually you win every time i've done that we have one against what they've said or against their their thing um so what happened in in the the seagull when you're playing mache that was when the car accident yes because i was i was on an edge because i i lost my teeth in the middle of rehearsal i lost your teeth yeah i i did something and my caps flew out and i had nothing but those little stumps so what happened was diane went like oh i was so embarrassed i went that's it that's who she is what a marvelous find interesting except music accept everything deny nothing oh my god this is fantastic then i saw a whole different point of view so i i brought that into it so then and then she she takes snuff and they say she's gonna drink do you want me to go is it over no no no because because she takes snuffing i went why does anyone take snuff it could be cocaine like today is the 80s maybe filling up the emptiness in her life like i've tried to do all those years [ __ ] the emptiness yeah drugs drinking there's a line that says she'll have a few before lunch i never understood that she leaves and she goes um my foot's asleep must be time for lunch my foot's asleep and she leaves and then the doctor says she'll have a few before lunch i said i feel what ah how to build that in i had to build that in so that when i actually left people that's right so what did i find by that thing inside i knew that i was obsessed with this man and then all the imagery of hamlet and ophelia so i became i'm ophelia i'm the greatest actress in this entire play meaning it's a play about theater people opera dance and the sequel is all about the theater so i said so my first line is i'm coming onto the stage and there's a curtain it's all the stanislav slovsky's work i always go back to the greats ellen terry all the ones who've done things before with stanislavski said about the play i do all my research and find what i can use to become greater so i touched the curtain was velvet i thought as i touch this curtain i'm getting strength to be the actress i really want to be that nobody knows in this in this world that i live in he goes masha why do you always wear black and suddenly i was medea in my head so i went ah i can't do it here changes himself i i mean i was in my mind i was callous in the last act right i am in mourning of all my life and then he went like this and i'm unhappy so i was like i'm unhappy you want some i was like and everybody burst out laughing i went that's what andre serbon meant on the edge go that far and that far and then now suddenly it had all those so i could take it as high as i wanted to and then drop it down and and boyd was um very much an actress actress from julia and say oh that monster she drives me crazy i never believed him so i watched what he did in the beginning and um i figured there were medicine bottles for the the doctor for his valerian drops so i stole one of the medicines in bottles because they look like little you know like little corks in them and i put water in it like it would be vodka and i put it in my pocket so what he was having his i actually took mine out and toasted him so we could see laying in something that she's drinking because when i worked on bird we talked about um charlie parker's medicine they feel good yeah so his heroine is his medicine so this is her medicine so i was drinking that so that so then so we laid all that in um so when it came time to i mean it just once the imagination is free in the actor he can find within the play remember joann woodward saying to me i have no idea what you're doing on the stage but i do believe every every word of it i went well that's good because she would say to me so when so boyd was he opened up a book and he took out his so i said hmm so the ophelia element i went out into the floor and i put ferns in his book i put daisies in his where his handkerchief was and i put little pieces of flowers every time he opened his book i didn't tell him if i'm supposed to do that but i did tell him in this one rehearsal and this thing fell out he kept going on and the next thing fell out and then he walked a sweat off his head and he had him uh he had a daisy smack at his forehead and then he went masha i tried to make christ i went yes that's exactly right that's incredible so that's what so my point is remember i could conflict yeah so i found a way to deal with conflict so all of that i was in that mode i was unhappy it was in the middle of a divorce and i used to do my marriage and finally it failed and you know it was very crazy yeah she was five she was a certain five and i was driving cars really fast at night so i saw the principle of rebellion i saw i drove my car really fast at night because i figured after 11 o'clock 12 o'clock in that area nobody was around so i took that car 70 miles an hour on hairpin turns where it said 20 mile an hour zones and i would just do it with my hair going like this thing oh i'm free and free yeah well the setup was great because one night after opening night i dropped off four apprentices and i said i'm going i went back to my my apartment and i heard a voice this is the first time i ever heard my voice the voice of god no the other voice i went like this you don't want to go there i don't yeah look it's so dark in there yeah it is and your daughter's with with her father and he's with that girl yeah and you're all alone yeah now watch this it was like poor you this self-pity i never really self-pity was a spirit and it was real and it just stroked my body oh and i partnered with it now watch this i went but i'm really tired i really what if you go back to the to the restaurant you can get more kudos from people and i said yeah but it closes in half an hour but you can get there in 15 minutes you've been on these roads before now watch this thought and i went okay and i heard like a click i actually heard this click what the heck was that i backed the car out and went 20 40 60 70. i get to the top of a hill i'm in the middle of the road because it's only a lane and a half and there are headlights this is 1 30 in the morning there's one the headlights right in my face and there's no place to go anyway and out of my mouth i went jesus now i remember you call in the name of jesus you will be saved and i wasn't a curse i went jesus and went flipped right off that cliff i i was airborne i had no i had no seatbelt on and all of a sudden see i can't explain this to anyone because it's fuzzy with me so you didn't hit the other car no i i missed it by doing this i would have killed those people because i was going so fast and they didn't have a chance so i went off like this and i said jesus in the air i saw i saw hell i saw i saw darkness it was so dark i thought i don't want to die i don't want to die i'd always been a little bit in love with death but actors be careful always been a little bit in love with the other dark side the zoo and now there it was and i went i don't want to die i don't want to die and i don't remember anything else but i remember before i landed i saw an arm like hand from here to here like a specter of an arm go like this as i was propelled out of the car and it stopped me at the windshield i smacked the windshield and the car i don't know how it it finally stopped and i had lost the new caps blood i'm on the other side i'm on the passenger side in the back seat pinned my head to that windshield but i didn't go through it i would have gone through it the car was totaled and i remember going how am i going to get out of this and all those teeth could cost me more money and then i hear the cops and when the cops came they said is he dead is he dead cars cars totally can't get i don't see any movement i see blood i don't see any movement is he announcing there's movement on the passenger side are you all right who is it i don't know i can't tell are you all right and i didn't say anything they go so they crowbarred the car open and then they took me out and they said i have you been drinking i said yes and they go uh were you wearing a seat belt i said no i'm like death no yeah though so anyway you walk a straight line of course i can't walk i can do anything and then they they said we have to take you to the hospital because you're really in bad shape i said no because with publicity i could i said no so they asked me three times they're really kind you're doing the play yeah but they didn't know this so also they said no no no and finally they handcuffed me read me my rights put me in the back of the squad car and now i'm going to jail so now i'm sitting there thinking how the heck did i get here and i hear a voice say you got here after 19 years of hating your father and you spiraled all the way down to this place was 17 years and i went oh my gosh this is terrible officer what's the worst thing that can happen to me we'll spend 24 hours in jail that's the law in new york state and you'll be arraigned in court in a few hours and uh and then we'll find out from the judge what the rest of it will be i say i said i don't believe in praying i don't believe in god i said i don't believe in god so it's really inconvenient to pray yeah but if there was a god have mercy on me knowing the speech from the merchant of venice they only end about the word mercy quality of mercy is not strange it dropped as a general that's all i knew so i said mercy and then i said am i i said one our father from my catholic school and i meant it the lord's prayer yeah i had mercy on me and that was it then i get into the court fingerprinted arraigned and they brought out at 2 30 in the morning the director the producers the executive producer to identify me shame oh my god i am ashamed about 2 30 in the morning almost three so it was three o'clock in the morning i got them out of bed yep because they didn't know i had no papers on me so they brought them i couldn't even look at them and they had they had a what do you call a prosecuting attorney where they dug you in the middle of the night and he's there and they're going after me mothers against drunk drivers and how crazy i am and all this other stuff and the two arresting officers are on my side then all of a sudden the judge comes in bailiff says i'll rise and comes this judge and she's like judge judy the great judge dude in new york i mean like all right sit down and she goes like this she goes she goes don't worry about waking me up my husband is having an open heart surgery in arizona this morning so i was up and i'm thinking about him now what happened to you and out of my mouth remember i said nothing i went oh i want i want i'm just very sad and this voice said don't tell anybody how you feel that's right don't tell me how i feel just suck it up girl wow so i did and then she goes okay so this is what we got da da da da da she reads all this stuff i must oh 30 grand whatever and she goes how do you plead i said guilty and she went okay then she goes on to all these things and the guy goes after all these things i can't look at any of those people and then in the middle of it all she goes wait a minute it says here that you have a kid i said yeah she goes you and she was so i'm in contempt for me you you have a kid you got to be kidding me what is it i said it's a girl how old is it i said five she said you have a five-year-old kid unbelievable that you would allow anything to happen to you uh she said don't you find it highly selfish self-centered and self-consumed that you would allow anything to happen to you to jeopardize that child's future i said well no you're i don't think about her at all because i didn't want my daughter okay when she said that i said that she got so mad she took that gavel and she screamed and she went obviously you don't and she smacked this thing and it felt like that and when it felt like that the inside of me went oh thank god someone said stop because i had been running all those years and didn't realize until that moment the inner inner speed and then she went on and on and on and in the middle of all of that like two hours later she stops and just on second thought miss venara i'm not going to put you in jail when she said that there was an audible gas from the from the police officers they went and meanwhile that guy the prosecutor jumps up and goes your honor excuse me this woman is guilty she is this she's crazy she's and i'm going like this but yeah he's right i've listened to him and so she got so mad she goes counselor take a seat i'm the judge on this side of the bench and when you grow up to be me you can call the shots set out and then she's turned to me like like without further ado and she goes now miss menard i'm not going to put you in jail do you know why i said no i don't know why get this it's because i saw you in that play the other night oh what oh my gosh she saw you play masha and you were so good in it i'd like you to be in it again tonight i just realized that if i put you in jail you won't make it watch the line no this is not right you won't make your half hour call now will you and i'm going like and i heard mercy number one different voice and i was sober by that so i was like so by the time they brought me home in the executive i lost my license for like forever and i'd have to go to rehab might pay all the debts and be and get myself a lawyer because i was going to need one so i called this lawyer i told him i was guilty and and you know it first it was like but anyway the bottom line was um wow i went home you experienced the mercy of god yeah i i got home and i went what does that mercy mean i heard mercy so i went to my dictionary like i always do and it said mercy from the french to receive a blessing one does not deserve i thought well i don't deserve a blessing at all uh-oh blessing god god blessing forget it forget oh no slam the book there's no god i'm not dealing with god at all wow so i went and i called my husband and he was with a very famous person and he she says don't let her call you here so i told him what happened i almost died he started to laugh and he said i've had a lot of accidents don't call me anymore click so then i call my agent oh okay call my agent william morris and she picked up the phone and she said how much money do you mean i said about 30 000. she said well fedex it overnight because you're good for the money so they sent the money and then meanwhile i sat there and i couldn't sleep because so i went to sleep my ribs i had hurt my ribs and i wouldn't i kept ptsd i kept going back over oh i i go in the car yeah the cars go and i wake up because i'm gonna have to smash gonna smash into it and i started shaking like this i'm sweating i go i gotta talk to somebody i'll never forget i had to talk to somebody i i i don't believe in god but somebody saved my life tonight i don't know who you are but let me just tell you about me i'm a failure i said nobody knows it though because i make money and i get jobs but i'm a failure i failed as a child because i don't love my parents i don't love my husband i don't love my child and if you're a god of some kind you already know that because people love me i know they love me but their walls are too thick and too high too hard to climb and nothing goes in and nothing goes out there's nothing i can do about it that's just the way it is i don't trust nobody i ain't going to church i hate church why they're all phony fake they all wear perfume it gives me a headache and i don't want to go any place like that i won't go to na i won't go to aaa because i'm too vain i'm too selfish i'm too proud to be in a group because i'm special so if you're a god here's the deal you gotta be more real than what i know is real i have lived by the gospel that i can live with who i want eat what i want sleep with who i want go where i want and i'm free and i went like this oh am i kidding look at me i'm choking to death on the change of this freedom because i'd always be now i believe i could i could i could take drugs like it doesn't but it almost means i can't get out of it now i'm in trap so if you're a god you gotta be more real than this and i enlisted depression sex suicide hunger fear hatred bitterness i listed those are real to me so if you're gonna be a guy you might be more real than that wow i'm gonna ask you to heal me on drugs and alcohol because i can't get out of it if you do that i'll follow you the rest of my life and say no to the other guy that was it went to sleep got my teeth fixed oh they put rubber teeth in went to the theater that night and nobody said a word and i was still a mess but when i got to this one place when you write your book to goren don't say best wishes to masha i went to i said right to masha who doesn't know who she is or why she's alive and the audience went oh and then nina comes in and i looked at like like as your keys are backed off and a pause and i went you are not an actress you are quitting now you are not an actress it cannot cost you your life that's how deep i was it can't cost you your life that's how great it was to me because so then i realized i was healed of drugs and alcohol that night because i went to the same parties same coke same drugs and i never seemed to get to it huh must be oversight then i'd go no never got to it now the months are going by i never got to find my friend are you going to come to the club with us i go you know i'm like diane you haven't gone out with us at all what's wrong with you i go what's wrong with me i don't have to wow i don't have to go well click i lost my friends and then it began god began to shift the way i saw things even the parts i was playing wow yeah i wanted you to comment on the shift in your career from that point because one of the things that's so inspiring about you is you've been so unwavering in your faith right after i accepted jesus i got every single movie on witchcraft uh angel heart you had to say no to a lot of things witches of eastwick which michael christopher wrote the part for me oh that's the one and then ended up playing it but i went the devil was jack nichols i went suddenly i was like i threw the thing out and how many years later god let me play jack nicholson's daughter oh wow so he comes he comes back around was it difficult to say no to the number of films no it wasn't no because i was terrified i have fear of god yeah i thought i want like this hmm couldn't get that job before now suddenly i'm getting all these jobs i wonder what that's about huh i'm no different an actor i don't trust that say no my agents were going like what's wrong with you i go um i just i'm a feminist and i don't want to play anything where women are treated badly or pissed on or this or that i want women to feel free and dignified well good but let us know wait before them getting a bad reputation of saying no at the last minute okay i will but this is how it began and this is where the word of god i never had not read the bible and the word of god is alive and real and god will speak his word to you well you have never read it here's the example i go to a backers audition i have no money my husband's gone i'm without funds because i had to have a lawyer yet and i have a 500 gig for a backers audition for a broadway show so i didn't read it i'm at the dentist i figured i was just going to go there do it do the rehearsal and get the money and split i'm at the thing i think i'll read it that i read and it is so foul it is so dark and then i go i said god but this is you i'm going to do this i'm a professional i'm not going to back out the last minute if you want me out of this then you get me out of this because there's no way i'm going out of this so i get down there and then the writer goes what did you think the spinner i go oh i love your play i said it's so wonderful but it's totally against women and and completely against god but don't worry i'm just going through something i'll be fine go to the go to the stage manager i go sir uh is there any way you can replace me he goes oh i'm just asking about feeling very well i've been going through something but it's just it'll pass but if you if you could i would appreciate it but if not it's all right he goes okay well no no problem so now we do it we get to the reading every time something bad follow happens i can't control myself i'm going to say and the mother i i've lost my mind i can't control myself anyway we finished the thing and the actor's like what that and then i hear the stage manager go we found a replacement for miss fenora i was like god it's like goodbye everybody i'm sorry i'll be all right i'm just having i'm going through something this little you know little thing just a little life change and here's at the end i get into a cab i'm so excited and then i sit there going like this the guy who's driving is a sikh and i go what did i just do i just gave up 500 i mean when i was like living like prostitution and and drug addiction i was cool i was rich and now i got this god and i'm poor and i'm crazy no i'm really crazy i'm crazy i'm sober i'm crazy oh cry and the man goes late to you all right you all right ladies no i'm not all right at all i just i can't believe i just all of a sudden i heard that voice this voice why are you crying cause i just gave up then it went like this why are you crying today is not a day of sadness diane today is a day of victory remember when you honor me i honor you and i went whoa i was so calm i went oh okay years later when i was with david wilkerson's ministry and i had given up my career and i got sued for custody after i had done everything god told me dude i was so mad at god i said what happened i cried and yelled and i went sorry i yelled at you god forgive me and help me because they were coming after me after i gave up millions of dollars okay so i go i go to bed the phone rings it's david wilkerson i did not really know and he goes hello this is pastor dave i went yes uh i heard about your situation with this meeting a lawyer and you know we're inner city people and we we have we have i said i know like these churches are going to help you you know my eyes are going like this and then he goes because he goes like this and i remember throwing the bible and saying it's supposed to help yes you know and he goes so um i actually spoke i i'm never usually in the office but i was here so i called a few people i called a few people and i called a husband and wife on our board of directors who owned 50 corporations throughout the world among them and he named some very heavy heavy-duty things he said and they uh worked with you and your daughter on the jim henson thing that we had done for for christian audiences i was an acting coach there i said yes he goes well they've been praying for the last few months and you've been on their hearts in their prayer time and they feel to tell i told them what your situation was they said well they have 50 lawyers that work for them from dubawa's in plympton in new york and they will get you the best diversity because they are in new york city and they'll pay your bill i am now silent and he goes are you there i said yes he said you gave up a lucrative career a few years ago i said yes i did sir he goes now remember this god's heart is for children in the book of samuel it says remember when you honor him he honors you i said what what what did you say where'd you get that i was from the bible you're kidding wow he goes this is they're gonna this is a free gift from god from the heart of god through the people of god who believe that true religion is caring for widows and orphans under which having you come you may never have to pay it back diane but keep your ears eyes open you may be required of you one day and of course it has been and this is so exciting so three months later i get the best lawyer in new york for custody who happens to be de niro's lawyer sinatra's lawyer mia farrow's lawyer who actually won the case against woody allen oh my gosh by asking one question who's your son's pediatrician and what's his favorite toy she was a killer this woman scared the deaf so anyway 250 000 in cash later i had my daughter that is god so the word of god came to me i never read it he spoke he is the word made flesh he's it he is the word and when you're inca he will speak himself to you wow wow [Music] oh my gosh diane that's unbelievable i really can you talk to us about by trade you're in entertainment you're an acting coach now which by the way i can't even describe having acting class with diane it's probably unlike any christina anything in l.a i imagine um but you're such a radical minister and you don't leave that out of class and you bring that all of that in can you talk about that how you bring in everything you learn you've learned along the way into teaching this next generation how it's all the same in class i feel like it people are being trained in excellence in their craft yet they're also being released and freed up emotionally spiritually and that that's i think the move of god because i i never had any designs to teach ever no um because you're an artist because my daughter would always say well you're you're not you're a born teacher you you always you care about young people and i'd be in shows in new york and there'd be a young actress who was playing ophelia with some terrible director and i would take her aside and i'd say you know what he just said to you all of it's all that's a lie your instincts are right trust it i've played all these parts i'm telling you something you trusted she got bad reviews this one girl and we had bad review new york times nobody calls you so i called her and she's a very famous actress now you would know her and i said to her okay you got that out of the way tonight you play it the way you play it and she did and she was great wow because i can't stand hell so what i'm saying to you is that i was at bethel and um i'm in class with uh valentin talking about you know govern government and uh the who the what the mission who what's your mission what's your vision i said i have no mission i have no vision and everybody around me has got all these plans we're all going to hollywood i go oh great go come on i'd love to see you guys go there okay so you went how old were you wait when you went to do the ministry school 2011 12 13. wow okay so i'm there and i'm like one of the oldest people there and i love all the kids and stuff and and then i i just felt like i didn't go to the tran i went to the transformation center for uh because i wanted to be in inner healing and then um the people from the uh the acting division of the uh artist area said why aren't you in our class i said because i've done this my whole life i want to find something new so i feel that when i looked at my hands what do you have so valentin would say what's in your hands and i go nothing's in my hands because i i have a very good pension from screen actors guild and i thought i could retire at bethel work at the writing school of the arts and and help them to have a really great program so i i did work with them and it's like i'm going to stay here and hide out mm-hmm so you have to go back to hollywood i said i can't go back to hollywood i can't go back to hollywood because i have too much yeah i had too much pain yes thank you so much so that's when i met katie souza saying the reason you have to get rid of that pain to go back to hollywood mm-hmm so i said okay so sure enough i was coming to you i was going to come and teach a workshop yeah and i ended up being ill i lost my voice i couldn't get out of bed the day before i'm coming i said what the heck is this so i called patricia king's ministry talked to marcelo who's her assistant and she said you got to talk to katie i said i don't know katie personally she said i'll have her call you so kate went on facetime with me and we found the root of a lot of this stuff and um she said you have my kingdom of the son i said yeah she said you listen to us and you sure did she said so can the seven cd soak in that look at isaiah 34 56 and put it on a loop all night call me in the morning i had my voice in the morning wow so i came so she said you have nothing in common so she told me to sew into financially so i sewed seven scholarships she said two i sowed seven to counteract the generations of horse thieves that were both my family so whatever so we had to counteract that and then i got there and as soon as i got there i was sick again so then this was amazing then i was so worried because that friday night so my assistant was with me and called katie she called me back she said look i've just prayed the lord has given me permission raphael the angel raphael is with me right here can i send him to you i said yes and i said yes fire came all the way all over my body he said you have your worship on you okay god has no time to do is going to do a supernatural healing of you and the inside you're just going to listen to worship and let let the angel of healing do what he's got to do i said okay so i closed my eye they had three hours i closed my eyes and listened to worship and i don't know where i was i hear you have to get ready to go i went get ready to go i just i just closed my eyes no it was three hours i always went like that and i not only had my voice i had all my energy back and i was never the same so i and you've been teaching ever since yes yes oh gosh diane now you've got to go and pick up your granddaughter now goodbye you're beautiful grandpa what time is it in real life it's it's we've got five minutes okay we're fine so we've got we've got four questions now just to put it right there are you at rest put me at rest and all that listeners arrest we will be doing we're picking up where we left off here we'll be doing several more podcasts with you can i get the first one yes you got the first one what's your favorite movie oh on the waterfront what on the waterfront yes i don't know that oh my gosh it's on it's on amazon you can watch it on amazon prime i can't believe i've never heard of this it's amazing i i had never watched you until diane said that and i well unbelievable okay really good and there's a the priest and it's really cool too what's his name the prince carl molden carl molden yes wow i'm very intrigued yeah you'll love it what else now diane um uh you have the second question i think i forgot what the second question is um if you were to pursue any other profession what would it be i think i know the answer to this but i don't know if i had the talent yeah if you could be any anything i i would be musician um i was gonna say or dancer but oh definitely a dancer yeah yeah yes if i if yes i probably would both i would take i didn't think about it yeah i would have been i would have been a professional dancer that would have been my my dream as a kid um today it would be musician such that is if you had another option it would be another article yes mastering the other ones through and through absolutely yeah and probably you know rock guitar come on take some lessons with brock what else what do you have a favorite sound it hasn't been created yet yeah it's coming wow it hasn't been created yet um i could i i feel i can feel some of it but i can't i can't say it can't say it and this is the last question and this is the big one when it's all over everything's said and done and you're standing there before god what do you want to hear him say about dianne fenora he's going to go like this i can't believe you made it come on in yes perfect we can't believe you're with us here yeah such a gift to us diane venora it's such an honor yeah and we love you and we're definitely doing more podcasts with you and yes i feel like we haven't even touched on everything yeah just scroll down i'm i'm i'm of the i'm of the other generation so i have a lot to to bring but i also stay current i don't believe in being somebody from there it's bringing the old into the new come on like david with the ark or the covenant bring old into the new and i want the kids to have the new order but they have to know the old order and all the great artists know whose ceiling is your floor what did you learn before to get you where you are today i met a young animator this past weekend who said oh i don't need to know anything anybody else did i said unfortunate that's unfortunate that's good so this is just historical and all the great artists i mean michael jackson any of them they they studied the greats to become greater in every division i mean all all the great musicians i know they know everything about everything art painting design whatever as well as music and opera and conducting and you know the classics yeah that's why we're bringing classics into our class but we did yes yes i do have one more question it's probably a bit of a big question but if we could sum it up a little bit what do you feel like god's heart is for hollywood right now knowing him i think god's heart is i i can't say it in a word i i feel it in a sound but i feel like god is saying come up come it's almost like it's like remember remember me remember i don't know how to say it because it all sounds cliched so it's not even that it's like uh i don't know what god's heart is for hollywood everyone asks those questions but but for me it's like when people there are artists who who will never tell you they know god but they know god god is in their lives and he's speaking to them where it gets funky is when you mix the holy with the unholy and and you can get a lot of cool stuff out of that all i'm saying is not not being a purist in that way but the kingdom is creativity and heaven is constantly creating yeah and the people who really listen when i hear someone like prince say well how'd you get that music oh god gave it to me i'm listening and i heard it now you have the human spirit you have the you have the satanic spirit you have the you have the holy spirit what's influencing you everything influences you so i just say i believe that god is god is creativity he is art apple came from god mickey mouse came from god um certain sounds that these great come from god and and or or or can be twisted um so all i know is i think that god wants us who know him to make him known and he wants us to father a nation without religion but with the excellence the power the creativity the out of the box unbelievable what's the word original never before seen heard or done stuff that only he can he can reveal to those he trusts and those who are listening and he's called many that you will never know and they are already creating they're already doing it whatever they call it they call it but i can see god no matter what the name is i can see god yeah and i go what can i learn from you there lord it doesn't have a name or a code doesn't have a religion or but i can that's god what can and i can take from that and then and profit nicely and then hope that the cr the christian world doesn't what's the word put a cover on things so that's why the freedom of the church has to be and god is calling the church for more diversity he's calling the church to break out of a lot of things because the church becomes its own code it becomes its own monolith its own monument instead of where is god going where are you going god where's the spirit going let's go with you wow and it takes in all of these people who because we need to humble ourselves for the spirit yeah we need to humble ourselves and serve others who have already gotten the thing from god and how to serve them and help them in places where they don't know him yeah so we come alongside so i don't think i've answered the question but i just feel like there's a hugeness and i don't feel like we've codified it i don't think the church has got you know the skinny on it and i think it's we it's it's the world what is god saying to us in his color design architecture there are people who are who are so lost and so brilliant and so i think it's that's when god will interject you or that other kid into into that place with that big king and help you to speak prophetically to the thing that's causing that great guy to kill himself on cocaine even though he's his genius and speak to that part that he can be released into his total design [Music] wow amen thank you well that's iris after hours hope you enjoyed it this is not the last we've seen with diane we will be back with more podcasts with diane yes we hope you're inspired do yourself a favor and re-watch like all her movies yes they're incredible he was just remastered yes that was released in 4k very soon she teaches classes at la it's amazing and we're so inspired to know her we hope you've been inspired transformation artists transformation artists.org if you want more information you want to do some classes yes if you have any comments right any comments yes if you have comments leave them in the comment section under our youtube channel and until next time ciao this podcast is presented by iris global for more information or to support the work of iris global please visit us online at irisglobal.org you

Channel: Iris Global

Views: 9,598

Rating: 4.75 out of 5

Keywords: iris after hours, iris after hours podcast, iris global, iris global ministries, iris global africa, Heidi Baker, Rolland Baker, Nathan Kotzur, Crystalyn Human, iris missions, iris missionaries, stop for the one, iris ministries, christian missionary, christian missions, missionary NGO, missions NGO, free, encouraging, testimony

Id: w6uBBep_JEQ

Length: 81min 11sec (4871 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 31 2017