INVESTING Expert: How I Went From $0-$1M By 30! (Anyone Can Do THIS!) | Vivian Tu

people who are actually rich like you rich they're not concerned about impressing you interesting they do not worry about what you think about them our next guest who you might have seen on Tik Tok as your Rich BFF joining us now is CEO and founder of your Rich BFF Vivian 2 how can we be prepared for what's to come financially what can we do today to start being better prepared so that we are not as effective as we could be I think diversification is really important so that how much does money affect intimacy and relationships what have you witnessed personally but also what have you experienced from your research anybody who says money does not impact your relationship is a liar okay if true like physical intimacy is up there and money is right next to it why don't we put just as much time into maintaining the money piece as we do the physical intimacy piece for people that don't have money or feel like money is Out Of Reach for them is it possible for anyone to become wealthy or to become rich yeah I think anybody who wants to have have money anybody who wants to have richness can get there but welcome back everyone to the school of greatness very excited about our guest we have the inspiring Vivian 2 in the house who is a former Wall Street Trader Financial expert teacher coach podcaster and now author of Rich AF which is all about uh the winning money mindsets that will change your life Vivian thank you for being here thank you so much for me appreciate I'm so excited because money is something that a lot of people struggle with so many people struggle with it even when they have money it's almost like they're more afraid of it and they get more scarce they don't know how to manage it all these different things um I'm curious though for people that don't have money or feel like money is Out Of Reach for them is it possible for anyone to become wealthy or to become rich or is it only for a certain mindset or a certain demographic of people yeah I think anybody who wants to have money anybody body who wants to have richness can get there but it certainly is not as easy as everyone on the internet makes it seem it's not rah rah Amazon Drop Shipping rah rah wholesale real estate rah rah buy some life insurance and you're good to go like that's just not it um and I think a big conversation that like we don't talk about is like proximity right so like in my life now I have many rich friends and those rich friends provide me additional Rich opportunities so I got to go to the US Open On A banks dime because my fiance worked with a guy who is at an investment bank and he had four tickets took him his wife my fiance and myself those tickets are thousands of dollars like they're very very expensive I have friends who had incred an incredible accountant had you know great team in terms of financials for business and they were like you should talk to my team that's how I got hooked up with my business manager if you don't have that proximity to people who have money who've done it who played The Playbook how are you going to learn it because sure if you are a young person growing up low income and you want to make smart money decisions work very hard in school get good grades do the American dream thing and you go you get to Harvard okay you get to Harvard the rich kids still don't want to be friends with you why not because you can't afford to split the table at the club on Friday night wow you can't afford to pay for the dues for your finals club or whatever they call it like you don't have that money to get you there so I think the process of becoming wealthy and becoming rich and having money it's available to anyone but the trajectory and the time is very very different interesting so so proximity alone isn't enough is what I'm hearing you say because you could have the the grades or the skills and the proximity but if you don't have the money still then people may not what are you what are you saying so I'm saying that proximity makes it easier yes so if you grow up rich and your parents are you know very very tough and they're like we're not leaving a penny to you guys you still grew up around all of those rich people access contacts information exactly and you still got all those soft skills whereas someone whose parents are like I will leave you every dollar I have but they grow up lower middle class they don't have that proximity that you had growing up it's like a language you didn't get to hear the language see how things were done see how deals were talked about even if you weren't involved in doing the deals or paying for the things you witnessed and experienced it over a decade or two so on Wall Street we call them execution or knife and fork guys so execution guys are the technical ones they're like act the ones that are actually good at the job right and then you got knife and fork guys and the reason they're called knife and fork is because they know they have all of those elegances that if you don't grow up watching that day in day out you don't know they know that the littlest utensil is here and the biggest one comes in closer to your plate they know how to take the napkin and Fold It politely over their seat or like over their lap they know that the dessert spoon goes this way and they have those soft skills that are kind of like the tell of how you can kind of spot another rich person like I can smell the rich on someone based oh yeah but there's a lot of like fake Rich also isn't there t so can you smell rich and the fake rich what's the difference between people who are actually rich and those who are acting like they're rich people who are actually rich like you rich sorry guys that's good that's good they're not concerned about impressing you interesting they're they are I talk about this in my book they are apex predators they do not worry about what you think about them wow that the it is the guy that you see walking into a three Michelin star restaurant in a quiet normal looking outfit sweater vest situation eats his meal leaves a 50% tip because they can that's true wealth then you've got the wannabe wealth that goes to that same restaurant dripped out in a designer label is you know making a scene why isn't this water sparkling this is still I don't like that like just you know really really new to the experience and then we leaves at 10% wow that's interesting so do is there what are the other soft skills that you can tell between someone who's actually rich and someone who's faking it or trying to be rich or maybe has some money but they're trying to show it off too much so I would say that people who want to look rich brag about things look at my new bag look at my new car really rich people they don't brag they talk about experiences that they have so this is another experience and like one that I frankly couldn't really relate to when I first started in my career because I didn't come from that kind of money but when it was around vacation season and people were talking about going to Italy and the yachts and the not even the Yachts but everybody had a restaurant in Capri that you had to try everyone had their favorite place for gelato you know in Venice whatever like whatever it was you could tell that person had lived life in a way that someone who doesn't have that kind of access who doesn't have that kind of money doesn't have because they can't take the time off they don't have the money to go to those places and even if they did they would be doing things on the path versus stuff off the beaten path that lets them live like a local what would you say are a few practical things if people are like you know I'm just going of I don't have money for the next few months I don't have an emergency fund I don't have I've got debts still paying off if someone is financially sick and unwell and their Financial Health is unstable what are a few strategies they can do to either increase their income or get back to financial wholeness I would say something that people struggle with realizing is that these changes you'll have to make they're not permanent they're only temporary yes and you are going to be uncomfortable it's not going to be fun and I am very anti cut out the avocado toast don't buy the coffee rahah okay I am yeah but if you are in a truly a dark dark hole and there's no ladder to crawl out cut it out like you literally have to cut it out you have to make some temporary changes that are very uncomfortable and to your point like we focus so much on cutting out every single little discretionary cost do you know how hard it is to cut out $55,000 worth of expenses do you know how easy it is to ask for a $5,000 raise a $5,000 raise happens every single day like that is par for the course that's not anything special cutting out $5,000 you know how many coffees you have to cut out you know how many meals you can't go out to do you know how many friends you might lose in that process so again I think it's really really important to be asking for that raise and I mean 10 15% every single year are you going to get it every year probably not but you get 7% great you get 8% great you got to ask yeah and you got to remind them pretty much for six months out of the year that you deserve that race and that you want money that you are Money Motivated because if you ask in December when everybody else is asking for money right you're at the back back of the list back the line you want to be on top of the pile when your boss starts thinking about who's getting a raise this year what can someone do who's an employee to be really smart and intentional about getting a race yeah how can they show their value their work ethic that they're getting the results that's going to increase Revenue in the business as opposed to just saying give me a 20% raise or a 10% raise because I deserve it yeah how do they enroll through actual results as opposed to I just want to raise yeah give it to me otherwise I'm not happy yeah so you remember those two guys on Wall Street you got the executioners and then you got the knife and fork guys so on the execution side make yourself a brag book so it's a literal folder a brag book a brag book razor seats promo pitch whatever you want to call it just make one it's a folder in your email and every time something good happens to you every time you get a pat on the back from another team member from your company put it forward it to that folder a client says wow you know you did such a great job whatever put it in that folder anything that good good that happens to you put in that folder because that way when you go and you have to write those really annoying self assessments you can go back and literally look through those emails and be like Oh remember that time I did that one thing and that thing and that thing and now you have quantifiable results that you can point to the second piece is the knife and fork piece there's a study and it shows that the smartest person is not the one that gets paid the most right they're like second most paid second or third most paid yeah you it being smart and being the best employee gets you to a certain point but the person that has paid the most is the person that is essentially Mr or Mrs Congeniality you need to be liked you need and not so much like you have to be agreeable and likable but like people have to think of you like you got to be top of mind you got to be top of mind and you have to be unfortunately popular around the office so that happens by not skipping the company happy hour that happens by joining your stupid wreck pickle ball league with your B like you know what I mean like you have to do those things if you really want that and I know people listening to this might think like well I have kids I I can't do the pickle ball league I can't uh go to the happy hour okay ask your boss to go to lunch once every three weeks make that time force that time do the water cooler thing cuz it might cause you 15 it might cost you 15 minutes of your day and it might cost you that 15 minutes of productivity I guarantee you nobody is going to miss that 15 minutes of your work product but they'll remember when you told that funny joke they'll remember that story you told about you know uh the one you know funny thing that happened that weekend because that is how people remember you it's not about like oh do you remember who closed that amazing deal last qut nobody says that right you know what I think about is like who is who is able to show up with just consistent good attitude energy and effort consistently who who creates the least amount of stress yes you know that I I don't want to think about the challenges and the stress that being brought to the team or to myself but that you're just consistent not that you can't have a challenging day or bad stuff happens but but just overall you got pretty good attitude yeah pretty good energy you're willing to show up and work hard consistently it's like all right cool you're going to get rewarded yeah um but go ahead no I was going to say it's also like doing an elevator test or a airport test when you're looking at a resume how many times has someone asked you about your past job experience in detail frankly not that many times you know what everybody beines to on my resume that they look at the very bottom and they're like interests activities and they're like oh I that's weird I see you were a literally that's weird um you were a cheerleader in college and I'm like yes and they're like really and I'm like yeah why don't I seem so fun and bubbly and like you know it's the same day that I'm wearing like all black and I look so like depressed or they'll look at the bottom of my resume and they're like interest mob movies was your favorite one and I'm like Good Fellas obviously and then we get into a 20-minute debate and I waste 20 minutes in our interview but you only now have 10 minutes to ask me technical questions and if I Ace those 10 minutes of questions instead of 30 minutes I now look like a genius cuz every question you asked me I got right and then even better like the fact that you and I now have something in common cuz you know that good Fellas is my favorite movie I know that the Godfather is your favorite movie so now we're friends yeah you're more likable yeah it sounds like people hire or they give raise or opportunities to people they like more is that what I'm hearing you say what was this study from do you remember this this likability study can't exactly remember it up but it'll literally be like the first Google search literally just be like you know smartest person doesn't get paid the most right it it's been shown time and time again it's not about being the smartest or the most technical it's about you want to have technical skills and be smart you got to be a B+ student with an A+ personality and that'll get you farther than being an A+ student with a B+ personality interesting it's more about personality than your technical skills is what it sounds like interesting yeah but you got to be competent as well yeah I mean you you can't have an A+ personality and just be like a D minus like like you're so bad at the job they don't want you around man I don't know how I got here then I was like bar barely past school you know um but it's interesting we were just talking about at this aventus last weekend and one of the speakers Venice van Edwards she's like a kind of like a behavioral scientist and studies people um and soft skills and all these different things and she was like being if you want to be interesting as a human being it's not about how much knowledge you know or how funny stories you tell or whatever your history it's about how interested you are in other people it's like your ability to listen and engage and ask more questions and when Fe people feel that you care about them and are interested in them they're going to be more interested in you and so it's it's kind of turning the tables around where you don't need to be that smart but you need to be present you need to be engaging you need to be able to have courage to ask those questions and look someone in the eyes and you know just have a good energy and I think that's part of it as well that'll take you a long way in a career so that's what I'm hearing you say around if you're wanting to increase your income is some practical things what about if you have a sick Financial Health um and you're just you're not sure where your money's at you're not sure where you're spending your money you're not sure how much debt you have you're you know buying three lattes a day or whatever it is and you're just like huh I really don't have an emergency fund I really don't have much savings I don't have any Investments and I'm in debt how can they get back to a healthy place what are practical steps they can do yeah this is my your Rich BFF strip method oh strip it up so if you want to be good with money you got to strip strip um so s stands for savings it's so important to get that emerc Mery fund first you break your leg something bad happens to you you you're going to need it and if you don't have it you're going to get worse into debt just start with emergency fund emergency fund I like you say six months three months if you are a Singleton who rents three to six months is totally fine if you got a family you got a mortgage the states are a little higher you probably want to be closer to 9 to 12 okay cool um T stands for total debt and I say total debt because people think about debt as this evil thing not all debt is created equal and debt with higher interest rates things like credit card debt when you're looking at a 22 to 25% interest rate is a lot dicer than something like federal student loan debt you might have like a 3% interest rate on that like those two do not compound at the same rate it's just math so what you do is you rank your debt from highest to lowest interest rate and you pay it down in that order you pay off the minimum balance of every single account on the higher one first so you pay off the minimum balance on everything okay gotcha but any money you have left over to pay down debt you put towards the highest interest rate the highest first yes even if it's got uh even if I don't know even if it's got the least amount or the most amount of debt it doesn't matter matter does not matter Some people prefer the snowball which is you ranking from smallest to largest balance it's great positive reinforce cuz you're starting you you're able to clear accounts faster uhh but you pay more interest right and I'm and Aries I'm like really impatient so psychologically you might be like Oh I'm getting things done faster but you're not but you might be still be paying more in interest later correct and we're talking about someone who does not have the money to afford that interest all right so we got to go fastest got it okay total debt that's the team total debt um R stands for retirement um I know you know especially my my audience so many people are young and they're like they're not thinking about it's 40 years away it's 30 years away it's like here it will be here before you know it and again uh now I do know where this study come from uh Credit Karma did a survey and over a quarter of people over the age of 59 have not a dollar save for a Time come on not a dollar over 59 no 25% don't have anything 27% is the act 7% wow not a dollar why is that why do people wait so long to have you know zero retirement I think on one hand in part it's education it's that thought of like I'll be young forever two I will say many many of those people are likely in lower paying jobs they are you know not offered employer sponsored retirement plans they don't know to create their own individual one and I think things happen throughout the years yeah so like maybe you were really responsible about putting away money for retirement if you get sick right what do you like you can't not get treated like that's you know it's it's hard sure life happens yeah um but it is important to think about retirement now and this is my favorite part because I love tax bennies tax bennies bennies being benefits okay you know tax benefits um saving for retirement investing for retirement you can get tax benefits that's true in a 401k a Roth 401k and an IRA a Roth IRA at one point whether the money go is going in or coming out at one point you don't have to pay taxes right and you can do that legally the government wants you to do that that's how it's written in the tax code to incentivize you to do it so take advantage don't pay those taxes make sure you are saving for retirement and not paying your taxes because it's legal and I think I moving on from retirement is the part that everybody misses everybody puts their cash into those retirement accounts into their brokerage accounts and they're like doing a great job I'm done that's it but uh no no no investing is not putting cash into those accounts it's actually buying stuff with that money and people forget to do this all the time and and buying stuff with the retirement money or with separate money no with that money so like say you have a Roth IRA and you put five ,000 into that Roth IRA I know people who have put that money into their Roth IRA for years and they never allocated those dollars anywhere that just sat in a cash fund and it didn't grow and people will make comments when I make content about Roth iray or 401ks and they're like well I don't know what you're doing but my money hasn't grown I'm like did you invest it and they were like yeah I put it in the Roth IRA and I'm like no no no no no did you go and buy index funds did you go and buy a mutual fund did you put your money into a Target day retirement fund did you do with that money with that money interesting um the metaphor I talk about in my book is going to the grocery store so you go to the grocery store which is The Brokerage and you have your cash in your purse and you walk in Imagine just taking a lap around the grocery store and then going home and being like why is there no food in my fridge that's what people do you actually have to go and buy you know your fruits and your veggies and a couple snacks for yourself you have to buy those things if you want them in your house but most people aren't aware of that huh no it's the one of the biggest mistakes I see over and over again so invest your money is the I and P stands for my favorite part you got to plan you do not get to have your happily ever after you don't get to ride off into the sunset if you don't have a plan you got a plan for your party what type of plan should they be making what's a good idea of making a plan I think it's so important to sit down whether it's by yourself or with your significant other and talk about what does our happily ever look like are you and I retired in Naples Florida or are we retired in Naples Italy cuz the cuz the numbers for those two don't look the same um you know do we help our kids pay for you know their private education at a college or are we saying take out loans do we want to have a pet how many cars do we want to have how many vacations a year are we taking are when we you know get married are your parents moving into our house do we you have to build a separate little you know in-law suite for them that all costs money and if you don't know what that looks like for you how are you going to back your way into that number interesting yeah so creating that plan speaking of um that was great I loved all this about you know getting clear on your financial health and uh making more but I want to ask you about intimacy relationships money and power let's do it and you've been you know in a relationship for six seven years engaged for a year but you also saw people probably go through different types of power dynamics and relationships in New York City on Wall Street and people with lots of money yeah when you were either dating before this the the guys on the floor who had been married and divorced I'm sure you heard some crazy stories of people and I'm sure and I'm sure the divorce rate is higher on Wall Street than just like Middle America I don't know suburbs I don't know I don't know if I would say that really yeah maybe they just keep together but they have like separate wies who knows yeah three families like on billions or oh my gosh I just going to say dollar bill yeah exactly um but how much does money affect intimacy and relationships when one person has more than the other when both have a lot when both have a little what have you witnessed and personally but also what have you experience from your research yeah um anybody who says money does not impact your relationship is a liar okay it is truly every year they do some somebody does a study it's money and sex money and sex one and two one and two they go back and forth between who's number one who's number two but like those are the top two reasons always and imagine if true like physical intimacy is up there and money is right next to it why don't we put just as much time into maintaining the money piece as we do the physical intimacy piece um making a relationship or marriage work you mean correct and I think maybe this is just a phenomenon that I have witnessed and I will say this from like a heteronormative relationship standpoint but like we have a lot of guy friends who make a lot of money and you are one of two dudes okay you either want a partner truly and like I know some of these guys like their wives girlfriends whatever are like the coolest most inspirational like they just have the coolest job or they always have something really exciting to talk about like a passion project they're working on they they're just like so cool and they're so SM good human beings like really nice they do something like they just have a lot to bring they're always the person who's like oh yeah like I brought a snack for you I'm like why do you have a snack for me but it's like they're just cool thoughtful partners then there are other people who want a more I would say with wives it's more of like a traditional marriage uhuh someone who stays at home who takes care of the home and there's nothing wrong with that when you choose these routes I think it has a lot to do with having been conditioned into thinking that you need to be the provider and I will say I think there are a lot of men out there that would not be able to handle having a significant other or a you know a woman significant other who makes more money than them really 100% cuz I think it would be emasculating for some men who are not confident in their own masculinity yeah and they're able their ability to provide in other ways that are not monetary so do you think when a woman makes more than a man in a relationship that it eventually will fail no it's possible that it works out yes I do I really do um but you have to talk about that for sure like I make more than my significant other and I asked him I was like does it make you uncomfortable that you know I make more than you because For the First years of our relationship he made way more money than I did really yeah he's always made more money than I did until I started your Rich BFF and he answered in a really really thoughtful way and he was like no why wouldn't I want you to make more money so that we can do the things we want to do faster and I can retire earlier and I'm like okay sick easy and he's like but on top of that like you you can't make your partner feel bad that's the part that's really messed up I think like regardless of if you know the guy makes more the girl makes more the where you'll see issues is where the partner who makes more leans on that money to replace actual emotional investment in the relationship so like then mowing your partner $200 because you can't make that date that's trying to buy affection instead of being like I am so sorry and then the next day sending roses you're spending money you're still getting a gift you're saying sorry but it's not so transactional and gross and then on the women's side it's like making your partner feel bad that like well I earn this money so like you know why are you going out golfing like I don't think money should be like held over anybody's head regardless of who you are in a relationship or if just you know between friends because that's going to negatively impact relationships no matter what right I've heard this you tell me if I'm you know off on this but I've heard that extremely successful you know it's called boss girls or whatever boss women who are you know running their own business CEOs making money you know leading the way building a inspiring things and also extremely attractive women don't get approached by men as much for some reason that's what I've heard I don't know if that's accurate or not but that's what I've heard it's like if you're making a lot of money as a woman or if you're extremely attractive physically guys are intimidated this is what I've heard why do you think men are intimidated by extremely successful financial success within women or physically attractive women a fear of inadequacy obviously I mean I don't mean to say like obviously you think about that um but like I think when you see someone that you think is too good for you whether it be through looks through money through anything um you would say I'd rather quit before I try wow for that fear of rejection like it's such a fact because we have a friend who is just 10 out of 10 smoke show she's never the one that people want to talk to at the bar really she's oh my God never nobody ever talks to her she's like in the corner because everybody thinks that she will be mean to them in fact this this reject them or this girl is like A+ personality just like so beautiful like I can only say good things but no one ever approaches her because they think that she will instantaneously think she's too good for them whereas like if we're keeping it real there are certainly girls who are not as conventionally attractive as this one friend but guys feel very compelled they're like well this girl and I are probably in the same league and she seems fun I'll give this one a go oh and that is just so much more approachable because they think that it's essentially like saying no to yourself or like applying for a job that you think you're unqualified for like people are quitting before they try wow interesting do you think it's harder for men to approach you know a smoke show of a woman I guess uh aesthetically versus someone who's making more money than to them them or is it harder to approach someone making more money than then I think it's harder to approach someone who's visually attractive because it's hard to instantaneously judge being like that woman makes more money than me right I think there's also a lot of mental gymnastics that can go into it um I I know what people say about me on the internet I see the comments people are like so daddy's money like it's not like I made it right like it's my money I invested it or oh she's a trust fun baby or you know did she win the lotto or like what H like no one ever just wants to believe that you earned your money or that you deserve it they always want to make some excuse for themselves so that they can sleep at night because if they look at someone like me who has made it themselves with certain privileges that I will not deny but who was able to do it yeah and they in their 29 old life have not been able to do it yeah it they feel shortcomings mhm you know it sounds like I wonder what your fiance if you met now right as opposed to meting six years ago when he had more money than you and then the dynamic has shifted I wonder if it's harder for a guy to meet a woman who has more money than them in this moment versus okay we've kind of grown up in a in a sense and now oh she's just crushing it now that's exciting it's probably a different Dynamic I would I would think than it's like okay you're making twice as much as me yeah what is it going to take for a man to be emotionally spiritually uh you know prepared to connect with a woman for the first time that's making a lot more than them what do they need to do in order to be comfortable and is that you know dynamic something that you've seen work in relationships that's such a good question because if I'm being honest I don't know if my fiance and I if we met now would be together really yeah holy moly I don't know if he's gonna like that I said that but I think I'm I'm taking into account a bunch of other things right like how busy my schedule is how I am living in a gazillion different places I'm only in one place every single week um but you have history but if you were meeting now it' be different right well I think about like I was talking to him because I was talking to some other Creator friends I was like I don't know how I would date now like I don't know who would even possibly be cool with the lifestyle I have right we have history like you knew me back when I was swinging from the chandeliers in my early 20s like which probably makes him even more desirable for you cuz he knew you before you had cuz he liked me when I was just little all me with my roach infested apartment he was helping me move out like right he liked me then exactly when you know I was at my worst and now that you know I've Struck it big like he's the first person I want to call when something happens and when I go on vacation and we are just you know watching a movie on the iPad every night like that's my happy ever after like you get to have that moment and you're like we did this together that's cool um I have seen relationships where the woman makes significantly more work I think for men you have to ascribe value in yourself that isn't tied to a dollar sign so what do you bring to the table aside from just an income cuz for so long you know this traditional sense of like bread winner you know back in our grandparents parents days it made sense because you could survive off of a single income right and you know your wife would be at home making you dinners La D now more and more people have to be in dual income homes and for some men when they see women who are making a ton of money like if they can't hold up their end of the bargain they feel lesser than but if a man can really do and you have to do a lot of soul searching to do this is like I am able to bring to the table love and compassion and care and and I take care of the home I have an incredible relationship with my children I am able to support my wife in a way that you know if I was working full-time maybe I wouldn't or you know even if you are working full-time like I still support my wife um I am the person who does all of the planning who manages XYZ in the house like you have to find Value in other places or yeah I think of like the little things that I value that my partner does like he knows how crazy busy I am so he'll be like I have picked the location of our next vacation I'm like all right tell me where we're going and he does all the research and he's like we're going to take this flight to this thing we're going to you know make this transfer this is the hotel we're going to stay out and I'm like cool love it done right like I don't want have to think about it twice but he loves doing that that's cool and and he's also contributing financially it's not that he doesn't have any money in any other reality he would be the bread winner he makes a ton of money right I own my own company right so it's a different ball game it's a different ball game do you think women can truly respect men if they are making a lot more than them meeting and kind of dating at that point when they're already making more not kind of building up and making more eventually but do you think women can truly respect the man they're with if they make a lot more than them I'd like to think so I I hesitated for too long didn't I you like to think so but I I don't know I me just from the experience of like the research you've done the industry you're in around money the financial world the the people you know do the women truly respect them you know can you or is it always a little something underneath a surface it's like okay he adds value in a lots of other ways but I'm providing financially for this life do you feel like the woman can truly respect that man I do because I've seen enough examples of it okay I you know know quite a few women who make more than there significant my mom made more than my dad MH um and but that wasn't that was after a period of time it wasn't like they met and she's making a lot more oh in the beginning right when they're like in their 20s you see what I'm saying it's like they grew they grew up and I'm not 100% sure I know that since immigrating to the US my mom had an easier time learning the language than my dad did so she's always made more money got um I know you know all of my women Creator friends all make more than their significant others I mean take Margo Robbie for an example her husband was um I think like a producer or part of like the crew on one of her shoots and they met he ended up just being like someone she jelled with so hard and now they're married right and I think it works I do think like you can like I think Society ties so much of human value and respect to the dollar value next to your name and it doesn't have to be that way right that's great um I want to ask you about where you think the world is going or with money over the next you know year or two oh good okay there's been a lot of changes over the last few years with the with the financial world with interest rates with real estate with people losing jobs with you know whoever knows what's happening how can we be prepared prepared for what's to come financially whether it's incredible financially or it's a a nightmare financially what can we do today to start being better prepared so that we are not as affected as we could be I think diversification is really important so that's making sure that you have that emergency fund making sure that there's money you are investing in the stock market through index funds that are all Diversified you're not just buying like one stock and being like that's it like roll the DI yeah like it's not like that um you want to be really Diversified you want to be buying some bonds you want to be buying you know equities you want to consider maybe investing in real estate maybe that's buying you know an actual physical property or just investing in funds or something like that um I also think that like there is a disconnect right now from like a mindset perspective of a lot of people and not to get on this like raw raw Soap Box again but so many people now aspire to a life that frankly they will never be within their means wow and I say that and I I know it's harsh but keeping up with the Joneses has become Keeping Up with the Kardashians because you have it all on your phone you can see this immense amount of wealth that like in any other reality like before our you know our parents time our grandparents time you were never able to see it right like people have always had Yachts but now you see a yacht like every other day you're like part for the course like this is great whatever like I should have a yacht too and so you've got people spending money like it's going out of style to keep up and it doesn't make sense I know people who only take black cars I make seven figures a year and I am ready to get into the Toyota Camry that picks me up yeah like it's crazy to me that there is just again this almost like desire to like fake it till you make it of like you know this this trend of like dulu like delusional like yes in some ways it's great because you want to apply for jobs that you're unqualified for you want to do things that are outside of your comfort zone but like that can also put you in a really precarious situation very quickly right it seems like there I see these clips on like Tik Tok and different places of you know an interviewer asking like random women in their 20s like okay what type of man do you want to be with and how much do you think he's supposed to have and they're like he should be making $400,000 a year and he should be make and he should be six foot tall he should this otherwise I won't date him and they're like okay the percentage of people who are 30 years old that are making $100,000 a year is so slim and then you're talking about 300,000 millionaire it's so slim and then they're like 6'2 you're like you got four people I know right like I can list the four and they're also like what what are you going to contribute to this relationship well I'm just going to you know show up and just I'm being hot yeah I'm just going to be hot and there's kind of this delusion like you talk about where I'm going to get the richest guy they're gon to give me everything I want at all times whenever I want it and they're going to like that in what world exactly in what world and it's just um it is a little delusional what do you think is going to happen over these next few years years as people's beliefs and philosophy around what they think they're deserving when they don't get it after a few years what do you think is going to happen as the financial World continues to evolve and shift and break down or build up in certain ways I think there's going to be a real painful like come to Jesus moment really yeah because to your point unfortunately I'm saying this as a woman I really have thought about this very deeply women who bring nothing more to the table than their good looks have a depreciating asset man women don't want to hear that I know they don't want to hear that I don't want to say that but it's true it is true you need to be able to bring something else whether that's your own money for you you made it you spend it it's yours you need to take care of yourself sure if if you want like let me tell you I'm a I'm a rich woman I'm going to be marrying a very rich man we're going to be rich together I love that love that for me but I love that for me I love that for me but like you have a depreciating asset right cuz you are the hottest you will ever be in your 20s right maybe in your 30s because the 30s are the new 20s I telling myself that because I'm 29 40 comes 50 comes there's a there's always there's always a younger hotter girl and that guy on that Tik Tok video Who's Making $400,000 a year who's over 6'2 you know whatever and is 30 years old he's going to date the best that he can in that dating pool and eventually it won't be you anymore wow you need to protect yourself and I see this all the time because I get DMS really from people who are like I was married to my husband for 20 years he just just left me for some you know little young thing I don't have a dollar to my name I don't know the passwords to any of our accounts what do I do and that breaks my heart it breaks my heart because you have to rebuild you have to start from kind of scratch ideally you know you have to get divorc you have to get go through coure get get money but like you got to start from scratch which is why I always tell people have your own money especially for women wow sure you can you know if you want to go after the richest guy ask him to buy you everything under the sun great you better still be working that job you better keep your own money you got to take care of yourself yeah cuz one day they may not be there but you never wake up and your job doesn't love you back or your money doesn't love you back it's important to take care of yourself yeah and that's also why I'm a huge proponent of getting a prup I just going to ask ask you this I was going to ask you this why should women want a preum as much as men want to preum because even if you don't sign one you get one but the government gets to rate it and I don't trust the government as far as I can throw them interesting you have a prenup whether you write it or not and that is what everybody has to remember okay creating a prenup I get it it's not the sexiest thing and it but it doesn't have to be a you know horror movie situation where when you get divorced one person is Rich and one person is left destitute a prup is truly just an agreement when you and your significant other are in a good place to hash out the details now like no one says the negative stuff that they say about prenups about car insurance why do you buy car insurance cuz you might get in a crash right but no one wants to get in a crash it may not be your fault it may not be your fault but when 50% of marriages are ending in divorce and you're not getting Insurance that's insane that is insane that's true so I think getting a prup getting it in writing like hey if I am a you know more traditional role if I am in the home you are the breadwinner if we do get divorced I need to be compensated for those 10 years that I was not working because that cost money and I need to be Tak care of that's okay to say yeah wow there's value in adding to the home 100% what do you think someone should say what's how's how can someone start the conversation of hey I think we should get a pren nump yeah what should that conversation look like so it's the least amount of stress and can be actually enjoyable yeah to to address and talk about yeah so I think it's very hard if your First Financial conversation with your significant other is I want to bring up because it you know it's it's a little dicey it's it's it's a little hurtful but if you are even in that vague stage of potentially proposing potentially getting married to somebody you should have already been talking about money because the very first document that you and your partner signed probably isn't a marriage license it's your first Lea wow and you guys had to talk about how to split that rent didn't you y you guys have to talk about who's paying for What on vacation it's true you guys talk about who pays for the groceries who you know who's paying the electric bill who's paying the Wi-Fi who's doing all that you're living together probably most most couples live together before they get you know more government involved at least in America yeah in America I would say but you want to be having a financial check-in with your significant other pretty regularly wow I would say how does that look like for you you know with your fiance what's we we like check in like every couple days yeah um for different things so it's hey uh do we make sure to set aside that money because we're going on vacation um and we want to make sure that when the deposit hits we have it it's set great um and that's fun right talking about that money because you're excited to go on vacation and when you're having these conversations regularly they desensitize it's less scary it's less scary because you've already talked about it it's not anxious anymore exactly if we've already talked about how you have student debt and I'm still cool marrying you and we've talked about how I have credit card debt and you're still cool marrying me like Co it's it's less scary when you talk about money to get married what was the when did you first talk about prenup in your relationship talk about prup or have you not talked about it yet no we have no we have we already know what the exact terms of our prup are going to be um was that early in the relationship was that after the engagement before he got engage before the engagement you know I think it was really when your rich BFF started to take off we had already been together for years so we both kind of you know the writing was on the wall like it wasn't so much of an if as so much of a when um and I was like hey can we like talk about something and he was like he was like uh okay what's up very ominous and I was like oh I just wanted to say like you know I'd like to get a prenup like when we get married and I will say I think he was a little taken aback wow and I was like just hear me out okay this is actually in your benefit and he was like all right B spin spin the LIE go ahead and I was like no seriously because is he older or younger or he's like a year and a half older so we're roughly um the first five years of our relationship he made more money than me right and as such he has been incredibly good and Incredibly fair to me in that generous and he very generous he always paid more rent than I did it was not a 50-50 split when we would go on vacation it was not a 50-50 split he would pay for all of our meals out I rarely paid for stuff like that right activities movies correct you know he paid for all of it because he made more money right and all of the money that I did not spend I had been saving and investing and when we bought our home together when we put in our down payment I put in six figures more than he did wow and I was like in our prenup I wanted to say that we are 5050 Partners in this house we are 5050 Partners on every dollar both of us are taking into this relationship and if anything were to happen we would split every dollar in every account 5050 except I want a full carve out of my business you can't touch it you can't make decisions on on it you get no equity because if my ex-husband had an equity stake in my company could ruin it there is not a single agent there's not a single manager not a single company that would touch it with a 10 poll do you know how hard it would be to make business decisions with someone who hates you so hard so when I explained it to him that way he was like okay that actually makes a lot of sense he was like sure I've helped you you know the phone to film a couple videos but like you built this on your own that's your thing all the income that your business will have generated during the time that we're married during the time before we were married you know it's 50/50 it's all 5050 on both of your incomes both of our incomes you know um any money that he brings in I have 50% of it and it's great because it's almost a true up moment for all those years that he spent paying for dinner that he spent paying for the locations and you know I would like to think of when I put in more money to the house that had kind of gotten us to even but now we are continuing to be 50-50 partners and I think about it this way people ask me this all the time they're like but you make a lot more money like that's not going to be 50/50 like you would have been better off had you kept separate bank accounts and I'm like yeah but if I didn't have this job if ID continued with my regular job and I was making great money he would still be making more than me and he would never ever give me less than 50 so I don't want to give him less than 50 W that's pretty cool yeah and also it's for him like if in five years he wants to go and take a risk and start a business and what if it takes off and he's making more then you're both still contributing the income 50/50 and it sounds like you wouldn't have his business either then yeah or who knows maybe we'd have to get that carv we have to get in exactly so that's interesting I like that and he took it well yeah he did do you think men take it better if a woman proposes a prenup then if a man proposes to a woman hey I want to have a prenup like how can a man approach it and to their girlfriend or fiance of like hey I want to have a prenuptial agreement yeah what do you think they can do to lessen the blow yeah I think every prup is unique because you get to dictate the terms yes if a man is saying to someone who is also you know bringing a lot to the table or makes their own money or you know kind of decided they want a traditional relationship whatever like we want to have a predom I think there's a way to posture and position it and be like we are doing this for the benefit of our marriage not for the benefit of me and it actually has to be the case the terms can't be a crazy you know ridiculous like if we get divorced I get 95 you get F yeah it can't be that because in that case they should be offended by their prenut right I think what we see is outrage on a lot of reality TV is frankly let's just call a spade a spade certain people dating other people for their money and nothing else being offended when asked for a prenup right when it's like why would you be entitled to that money can I fully trust you yeah yeah I I don't think they should be getting married anyway frankly um so I think you know if a prenup is coming from the right place it's cool if it's coming from the WR place in a place that you're like I need to protect myself I'm really scared about this person why are you Maring them yeah it's something that you know especially because you guys met when you were in your young 20s it sounds like um you know I just turned 40 uh this year you don't look a day over 25 you yeah right um my my girlfriend she's you know same age and she's had a very successful career on her own for the last 20 years I've had my business which by the way that doesn't surprise me why that you would choose someone like that I felt like I needed a true partner you know that was that's what I said right yeah I felt like I needed a true partner that was resourceful on her own you know and if she ends up making more than me I'm like cool make it make it you know that's we're doing well then you know and uh I want her to thrive I want her to make as much money as she can so it's like the fact that she's been resourceful for 20 years of building her career she really started her career when she was like 16 um and the acting world so I'm like awesome and I remember saying like listen you know early early in dating I was like you know how do you feel about money in relationship and we were talking about like what marriage would look like early on as our as us dating like okay do you want to be married do you want to have kids we're having those questions and I go listen like what's your thoughts on like you know what if we didn't work out and we were married she's like listen your money is yours she said this to me early on she was like your business your money is yours I'm not dating you or or wanting to be in a committed relationship with you long term or married because if it doesn't work out I want your business and it gave me a lot of Peace like emotional mental peace being like Oh my money is mine so and her money is hers like I'm not trying to like take her IP for the last 20 years either it's like I don't want your you your life's work yeah if we don't work out and so gave me a lot of Peace early on in the relationship to talk about those things you know we didn't say okay we're going to have a preum and all these things but we were just talking about money early on which makes it a little less stressful yeah I think that's helpful to have these conversations I love this approach to prump um I've got about 10 15 more minutes I want to talk to you to be mindful of time I feel like I can talk another two hours on this stuff um but I wanted to ask you about the the job market right now and it seems like a lot of people are getting laid off you know these Mass layoffs at big companies and there's uncertainty financially with where the economy is going like we already talked about what do you think people can do to set themselves up for success or protect themselves at their current company to make ensure that they're not one of those Mass layoffs either in the near future or sometime in the future afterwards and how can they start to predict if they might be someone who is going to get laid off yeah so you want to make yourself essentially Irreplaceable and the way to do that is to make yourself a key point of failure so this is something that like like big consulting firms go and find really key points of failure it's it's something like um the one it guy who has all the passwords ah or the one social media manager who is the only person who knows where the analytics folder is like you want to be that right you want to make sure that they this business cannot operate without you so what if a business is already smart enough they're like okay we have backups for everything we have processes in order what if they've already got most businesses are so I think it's finding a way to make yourself indispensable by still being a key point of failure in that like oh I am on the sales team I'm the number one gal I'm the number one guy if they lost me they would lose 25% of the year's Revenue MH cuz guess what they're not you're not gone you're never going to be gone like they they will hold on to you till the very end if you're bringing in money and revenue and growth you are hard to replace hard to replace hard to replace then there's other people who have jobs that are considered cost center so like you cost the business money and in some situations it's very much necessary right like maybe the person who fixes everybody's computers does not create revenue for the business but if the one it guy gets fired like we're screwed like my my laptop blows up how do I get a new laptop I don't know you know top sales out the Wi-Fi yeah the top salesperson cannot log in what happens like it completely creates a point of failure so you want to make sure that you can be that person be the go-to guy be the go-to G go-to gal and creating that indispensable nature is how you provide yourself job security MH being the best at what you do really like I think we also need to just be honest I ask I ask everybody to ask for a raise every single year but you need to lean back and really ask yourself do I deserve this am I actually working hard am I actually producing good work because a lot of people aren't they're not they're not yeah like they're coasting if you're cutting out of work at 300 p.m. every day and you were doing the bare minimum like you're going to be on the chopping block you should know that and why do people expect to get big raises or big you know pay increases by just doing the bare minimum why do you think people think they deserve a 10% raise for just doing the job minimum well in recent years because of how the job Market's been it's been a employees Market meaning there was always another company that was willing to hire like there was this massive covid boom actually where it was the great resignation people were leaving jobs left right and Center because they could get paid more somewhere else and now you think it's going to go back the other way right now it's doing this it's coming it's coming back in and you have to be good at your job let me be clear again those A+ A+ employees they're still leaving jobs they're still going to new places they're still getting paid and they always will be cuz if you're really good there will always be some somewhere and somebody who wants you mhm but for people who are doing the bare minimum it's harder to hide now because when things at the top and you know the bottom line revenue is not so frothy they have to trim fat and if you're doing the bare minimum you're going to be the first on the chopping block yeah so I think it's important about making your self indispensible and actually doing good work right but in terms of like prepping for a layoff again I think it's important to have that emergency fund um I've made content about this but just you know check those warn notices every so often basically if you just Google your state and War notice warn W RN warn notice a warn notice warn act um it is basically any Corporation with over a certain number of employees needs to give notice when they're doing a mass layoff oh lots of companies try and skirt this by getting rid of like an a slightly odd number below the threshold or you know giving just enough time whatever but just check I think it's important just to have an eye out you're like oh wow okay like a lot of companies in the hotel and Hospitality space are laying off a bunch of employees my employer is not on this list but I might be soon who knows yeah what skill should employees be developing throughout the year or years at um you know a career or multiple careers what what can they develop to make themselves more indispensable besides just like okay I'm doing the job and I'm showing up and doing it but should I be taking classes should I be learning public speaking should I be some other skills learning to make myself more desirable at the current job or on another place yeah um I think every job being good at your technical skills is great but you want to have transferable skills and these are the soft skills bring it the the is it what is it tell me just again it goes back to those fork and knife skills you want to be able to have a conversation with just about anyone you want to be able to make someone feel special and I feel so lucky because after my stint on Wall Street I went and worked at a media company in strategy sales and let me tell you sales that is another Beast because you eat what you kill yeah and I got some sales training that you know my company obviously paid thousands and thousands of dollars for and I don't remember any of it except for one thing w i i FM so you guess what that means w i f oh two I FM FM I was thinking what if something but I'm not sure okay so you got the W what what in it for me ah yeah so we always know what we want what's in it for us but what's in it for me for for the other person why do they need to help you do that thing and this is how I always get what I want I no no think about it I always think at the other end of the table what's in it for that person yeah like it's like the prenup it's a what was in it for your what's for um what's in it for you know I'll talk about you I know that you have you know a very very successful podcast but what's in it for you interviewing me you want a lot of people to listen to this you want to get those you know chartable numbers up you want to be up the ranks you want a big social Splash you want all of these things and I position myself in a certain way to make those things happen if I go to the car dealership I'm like okay it's the end of the month it's the end of October I'm going to go I'm going to ask for the floor forms I'm going to do all of these things but I'm like but what's it for that guy that guy's getting a commission because it's the end of the month and they need to make their number they want to hit their quota they want to get the kicker and they get paid upon delivery so I'm going to go four days before the end of the month and I'm going to have to buy you know and as his car on the lot but I think about what's in it for them that's cool when I'm at a gate and my flight's been delayed and I'm mad and I'm angry I'm like this gay agent wants to kill me she does not like me she doesn't want to help me what can I say that is going to make her want to help me so maybe it's hey I know you've got a crazy crowd control thing happening going on when do you think we are going to have an answer if not I would like to just rebook my flight that way I can get out of your hair and then they're like oh okay this person has already thought through Solutions I can just ABC pick one for them whichever one that I think is going to make the most based on what I think the plane's going to arrive to the gate versus what's going on no gate agent wants to answer that question because it's always bad news you're always going to be mad I know so think about what's in it for me what's in it for them man I'm excited about this Rich AF the winning money mindset that will change your life make sure you guys get a a few copies of this uh give them to your friends um if you want to learn how to really maximize your earnings to get more out of your current job your career if you want to understand and the difference between savings accounts investing all these different things the the the the technical side of things here as well if you want to learn more Tax Strategies legal loopholes it's all in here make sure to check it out you've also got an amazing podcast um that I want people to check out as well we'll have all these things linked up that's called net worth and chill net worth and chill you've got your Rich BFF uh you got so many different things your social media is great I love seeing your content online your Tik Tok Instagram we'll have all that Linked UP what can we what else can we do to be of service to you today besides get a copy of the book check out your content all the things yeah um so you can get a pre-order copy of Rich AF um at rich. me yes I made the URL manifestation um and you can find me on social as your Rich BFF but if there is one favor that you can do for me that I would so so appreciate is just talk to your friends about money M I love that because we've been told for so long that it's taboo and tacky and you are doing nobody any favors except for big all corporations when you keep that information hidden abut when you hold that shame let me tell you when you talk to your friend about money and they make more than you they don't suddenly make less for having told you but you now know and you can go and ask your boss for more so please please talk to your friends about money that's beautiful I think that earlier you can speak about money and make it more of a common practice as just having a conversation over coffee and just relaxing it will be less stressful yeah in the future it doesn't have to be an icky topic it doesn't have to be I love that um viian this is powerful I've got two final questions for you this is a a question I ask everyone towards the end it's called the three truths MH hypothetical question and scenario imagine you get to live as long as you want but it's your last day so you live as long as you want in this life okay but we're at the last day of your your life okay can be UND something years old 200 has my body deteriorated you're still in perfect health you know yeah you still look great you know okay great you're Filthy Rich you've accomplished everything you want to accomplish you've got a beautiful life family everything you want it's happened but it's the last day and you've got to take all of your work with you to the next place so the book is gone this interview is gone everything you've ever created for whatever reason it's gone but you get to leave behind three lessons with the world and this is all we have to remember you bu I call it three truths what would be that for you wow okay wasn't prepared for that one that is an excellent question I would say the first always buy them the chicken parm and this has to you know there's a little bit of an explanation behind this I love chicken par it's incredible okay so the first there's amazing chicken parm here in la oh really amazing chicken BM yeah um the first guy I worked for on Wall Street my boss's boss was this super Italian guy like just the most Italian Italian man you've ever seen and he told me one day he was like Viv you always got to buy them the chicken parm and I'm like sir I'm lactose intolerant what are you talking about I'm like I don't even eat cheese um but what he meant by that was every so often out of just the random kindness of his heart he would buy a bunch of chicken pars arms and he would dish him out to the people on our team and then you know the guys on it the guys in the back office the guys in the middle office and you know he must be spending like almost $1,000 on chicken parm and he meant by like just treat people with kindness not because you know you have to but because you want to and then when he ever had an issue those people came running to his desk yeah if multiple people were having is shoes they only ran to his desk because he had genuinely treated them with kindness when it didn't serve him when it was just a random Wednesday he would be like oh how how's your kids like little league game going and like took a genuine interest in people until your point of being interesting and asking questions just being kind I think that's really important that's cool okay that's the first one that's a good one um I would say if you are a woman um just know yourself and know your worth I think we compete a lot with other women because we have that scarcity mindset and we think that another person's success is our downfall and that you know if you're number one on the podcast charts it means I'm not number one okay but there's always room for more people to succeed like there's enough white space for all of us to get there for all of us to have what we want and get what we need and I think it took me a very long time to learn that I would always be like if that girl has XYZ I can't have it like I need to do this it was just like so unhealthy so I think it's more of like knowing yourself knowing your worth and not being unnecessarily competitive I think there's a little healthy competition in everything but don't let it be to the detriment of you know your mental health or like anything in your life and then you know just I think the third one is don't kill the Golden Goose um you have that on your shoes yeah oh my God no don't what kind of shoes I'm wearing no it says Golden Goose yeah it does so not sponsored by the Golden Goose shoe brand but um I would like to be uh the the old Fable is that and I'm sure you've heard it right go ahead say Okay um a his wife they have this goose and every single day this Goose lays a golden egg and they're like oh my gosh like a little nugget of gold they're like this so weird out the other geese are doing this but like this gold is amazing like we now have this little pellet of gold I wish we had more and so every day they get a little egg of gold and they're like oh it's not you know happening fast enough we should kill the goose and that way the inside of the goose will be entirely gold we'll be able to get it all at once and we'll sell it so they slaughter this goose and the inside of the goose is a regular Goose body and there is not a single piece of gold and I think this is a bigger metaphor of like life of us always wanting the next big thing wanting more but like I am a big big like this is a problem I have um I currently have the life that I prayed for a couple months ago MH and sometimes I don't get to enjoy it sometimes I'm not even enjoying it and that's sad I think we need to not kill the Golden Goose enjoy those little nuggets of gold that we get every single day and it's okay to want to work for more and strive for more but don't ruin a good thing just because you're always trying to like hit the next Milestone they'll come but you could you know completely lose this entire Journey if you don't take a second to stop them roses and stop and smell the roses yeah that's beautiful I love those are probably the most unique three truths I've heard I like that uh before I ask the final question Vivian I want to acknowledge you for your your realness I love this conversation I love connecting too honest I hope I love it I think it's amazing so I'm I'm you know I'm I'm excited to connect with you and to share this message and hopefully connect more and Havey back on and learn more about your stuff so I acknowledge you for um for sharing this in your authentic way I think they're thank you I think seeing people like you you know with the history and the background you have be as honest and real as you are is really inspiring so I really acknowledge you for showing up authentic to you and not trying to fit in some mold of I don't know some type of financial expert that you might think of so I'm really I'm really glad that you're doing it your way and teaching it your way and I think it's really inspiring um final question what's your definition of greatness I would say greatness is being so in your own lane so far ahead you don't even know you're running a race um and I think that comes with having your own value system understanding your own definition of success not being worried about what other people think and say of you doing what you love and really striving every single day to live in a way that little you would be proud of I've had many Journeys about what will fulfill me and what the money's for but ultimately it's just one variable out of what I would call the three variables your wealth your health and your time like how do I allocate those resources right over my over my life to get the most fulfilling life and so I I think

Channel: Lewis Howes

Views: 949,248

Keywords: Lewis Howes, Lewis Howes interview, school of greatness, self help, self improvement, self development, personal development, success habits, success, wealth, motivation, inspiration, inspirational video, motivational video, success principles, millionaire success habits, how to become successful, success motivation

Id: fUtDU0U7Zqw

Length: 77min 48sec (4668 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 27 2023