Industry but it's just Eric

blah blah blah blah blah i've never seen anyone put their iq on a cv before how many of these have you had nine for new york for here and skype why are you here then well it's not a very political answer but i think mediocrity is too well hidden by parents who hire private tutors i am here on my own every successful business is full of people who spent money nurturing unremarkable talent this is the closest thing to a meritocracy there is and i only ever want to be judged on the strength of my abilities and paid for it i guess i didn't realize that we recruited from suny binghamton to non-target you know how many mountains i'd have to move to get you to london for good [Music] you don't look sure how to navigate that see it down there look at the guy or gal next to you really look do you think you're better than that maybe you are but half of you won't be here in six months my first proper dinner was with philippe job you know hedge funds he's famous dozen of us had no boob pre-oath no group i had gastroenteritis threw up at the table shop said it was the first interesting thing to come out of my mouth all night it's only half true but he still called i still printed his business that's the bar don't let daria tell you it's just dinner i'll work on a pitch [Music] vellum that was capri dario said the melon mercer me went well monetized that [ __ ] she sent an email we don't hide behind emails get on the phone and ask for the [ __ ] order reese [ __ ] yourself mate do not forget how this feels right now you are a world killer now i see you thank you why is there a ring in your nose cattle so i know for a fact a lot of people are active on the street i want to know why the flows aren't coming our way well 80 percent of my guys are away making us or ibiza did the girls enjoy disneyland cost me three g's for my daughters to find out goofy's a moroccan kid with a tiny head hell is the line at space mountain especially if you're behind to make a wish all right let's uh let's convince some people to part with their money in the hope that they make more yes chef cause you always join us what's the deal with fenn marsh i haven't heard from phelan called twice daily couldn't get past a junior did you say you worked for me yes okay call everybody out [Music] you rounded 350 yeah why there are many aspects of this job that you'll learn by osmosis but horse whispering [ __ ] off client it's an art i'm giving you face time with the guy who gets us all paid go on take a swing [Music] okay 350. thank you i would have thought that if our relationship had gone south you'd have the grace to call instead of me finding out over lunch with one of your pms i told them in confidence well he told me in confidence look i'm hoping we're not ruining a friendship over miscommunication what do we call a friendship what why are you saying that i don't know maybe you think it's acceptable to call your wife that in front of your own friends but my wife did not appreciate it do you even remember what you said because i'd prefer not to repeat it i'll look for character and my friends are i look for character in my salesman or sales women what's really going on here why why are you talking to me like like we're in the great american novel my character you know my character i know you're meeting windham in fx so you you obviously don't want to relinquish the purepoint offering city msgs don't have our talent and windham i mean he's into soccer you want to spend the first two minutes of every transaction pretending to like it here here's where i'm serious when you're writing your next investor letter do you really want to be meditating on the fact that you missed a percentage point of returns because of your wife right you call me when you need persuading you call me when you need reassuring that's a friendship why waste your time building that intimacy again next next time our wives want dinner i'm gonna say i have a buck oh hillary good to see you we're vacating you catching spurs last night oh yes yes they ran riot sure did enjoy your meeting yeah i inherited two sub-optimal things from my father her spurs season ticket and flat feet grand slams yeah what did did he buy it or not i didn't there wasn't really enough time to get into not enough time you were in there 40 minutes so so why am i sending you into meetings respectfully eric i brought her into the meeting no i think she's really crazy oh bree's been my client for three years i know his needs with what he pays his needs are subordinate to mine again respectfully i have to disagree harper had the balls to work on something that was cogent and commercial enough to be put in front of clients we reward her that's the system and if you'd asked me about it i could have provided you with a list of more suitable clients i'd appreciate not being ambushed jesus christ you want to make md early and i still have to hold your [ __ ] hand that's not what i said i'm just saying a level of respect in the world what the [ __ ] were you doing taking fx in there with you she's a grat eric it was it was a favor can you tell me the yield you get out of that account versus the hours you put in because this isn't a [ __ ] social club i'm gonna spend time stroking these clueless [ __ ] chinless country club [ __ ] henry's i want to see it in dollars it's [ __ ] pathetic otherwise what's our number [Music] what is our desks budget for the year how does nobody know that [ __ ] number i go to bed with that number we owe our clients nothing we have no fiduciary responsibility we're advisors we are facilitators first and foremost we can't [ __ ] facilitate nothing yeah sorry you should [ __ ] know that guys it's payroll's tomorrow can we make sure we're not taking lunch off the desk please the labor market somehow contrives to give us eight years of trump i don't know what i'll do probably nothing happy birthday happy birthday to you happy birthday happy birthday [Applause] i can't look at a birthday candle without thinking about robert herrick nobody knows who that is you coming right you can't go to the drive harbor you can't represent us like this in this condition it was a chance to represent the firm in front of sarah remember this place is bigger than one desk i mean i want to that's on tomorrow and please take a shower right he's so bearish people like us born at the bottom where would you put our percentage chance of ever making that top quintile it's about three percent that's intimidating we intimidate people here why is that because hunger is not a birthright your qualifications don't have to be a problem for you because they don't have to be a problem for me you understand what i'm saying what was the final p l 200k no no it was a 140k loss profit 200k profit i executed for you pre-close nicole at malin mercer let's help a spreadsheet what did you do i want to watch your niece perform shakespeare you just coined jargon for good client service i would have never known but there are generally two times to tell me when you [ __ ] up the moment it's [ __ ] or the moment it's unfucked clear clear that was the thing with newman he knew from day one he could trust me so i trusted him he wasn't big on compliments but i heard him compliment me once what did he say that little chinks a born salesman oh eric towel pro skater two surface great what do you think you're doing why am i getting incoming about a grad executing with my clients pandaria were off the desk did i tell you you could do that did i tell you you could do that check the p l both trays made money did i tell you that you can do that [Music] debrief now i heard whispers at the off-site sarah wants me gone to daria tell you that what you think you've just done to move the dial on their [ __ ] agenda do you think either of them would protect you like i have brought you over here i told you i couldn't be more grateful what do you think your gratitude's worth to me if you can't keep your [ __ ] word i was the only one willing to ignore your non-target background pull you out of wherever and give you the success that might let's say excuse your personality the massive [ __ ] chip on your shoulder you see how i carefully elided the fact that you're also a [ __ ] liar or is that how you sustain the delusion that you actually belong [Music] and here [Applause] last night where's the mickey d's you come in blasted past nine you buy mcdonald's for the team you know that greg you don't look like you've been home you've been brassica see he's got that brassy look you know i didn't have him as a brass sound but he's definitely been brassy arps yes pass me the thing the script what [Music] no that's everything don't be shy this is for an audience right what an audience not an exit by gregory's [Music] i've had ramen i've had chili salt squid bok choy and gyoza because i no longer have a job because it's a comedy this is work in progress eric's obviously hey is is this job not good enough for you you seem to have forgotten how lucky you are to be here or maybe you've been bred to sleep walk into this place through your life it must be nice you know what time it is it's time to wake the [ __ ] up wake up wake up hey greg i know i know a guy high up at fox where's uh this is candace albright i get to meet you fine candace is my wife i won't leave you two alone or she's gonna try to recruit you what do you do i work at google yeah okay don't hide behind your modesty honey everybody knows you're an ambitious [ __ ] i work high up at google eric talks about you at home which means he must like you yeah i bring you home with me harper i heard he compensated you very well what the [ __ ] that's between me and a harper well why did you tell me that uh because i couldn't help it i'm proud i'm proud of her oh don't talk to her too much you'll begin to wonder why she's with me why am i with you [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] does he treat you this badly she knows it's playful hey daria hey guys wow you look gorgeous hey what will we say what are you doing guys what's going on what did you get hold on look i got your favorite stuff what's going on here ah you're gonna get it you're gonna get it you're gonna get the tickle monster you're gonna get the ticker boxer ouch put your phone away thanks for bringing me home did film really forgive you why because i was very contrite what did you actually say to his wife or in front of his wife whatever i have no [ __ ] idea i i have no [ __ ] idea you

Channel: genesisofthevoid

Views: 145,709

Rating: 4.9185591 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: 9ckrYnS2Rvc

Length: 19min 56sec (1196 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 30 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/onestrats]

'why is there a ring on your nose? You a cattle?' lmao

[u/___this_guy]

Great show, great compilation... need to rewatch this

[u/subvertet]

He's such a great actor.

[u/Wizzleskim]

This guy made the show great for me