[MUSIC PLAYING] JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
Hi, everyone, and welcome to the
IamRemarkable Week. I couldn't be happier to be
part of this amazing program. It's been an exciting week, and
we have another great session for you today. We will start with the fireside
chat and then have a Q&A at the end, so make sure
to be adding your questions throughout the conversation. My name is Joana,
pronouns are she/her, and I lead Google's LGBTQ+
employee resource group in Europe, Middle
East, and Africa, representing more than 1,000
Googlers across 25 countries. My day job is to
lead a team that gets Google ready for
regulations in our Trust and Safety organization. Today, I am delighted
to be speaking with Jessica Kellgren-Fozard,
a truly inspiring creator that is best known for
her YouTube channel on which she talks about
her life with disabilities and chronic illness in a
positive, uplifting way. Jessica has two rare genetic
conditions, HNPP and EDS, which affect her nerves
and connective tissues, leading to symptoms, including
deafness, chronic pain, muscle wastage, paralysis, fatigue,
and visual impairment. We have an interpreter
with us today-- Holly-- who will be translating
in real time for Jessica. Jessica lives with
her wife Claudia, their newborn son Rupert,
and two adorable fluffy dogs in Brighton. She is a notable figure
in the LGBTQ+ community, having been highly commended
as a rising star by "DIVA" magazine, listed in the 2021
"Guardian" Pride Power List, and winner for online influencer
of the 2021 British LGBT awards. Wow, that's remarkable. Welcome, Jessica. It's absolutely great
having you with us today, and thank you for joining. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Hi, Joana. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you also for
having me at a changed date, as well, since we had to
make some little adjustments, because I had a bit
of a health issue last week that's still ongoing. But we've managed to
turn things around. And also now I'm wearing
clothes for the first time in a week and a half,
which is absolutely lovely. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
No, absolutely. Thank you for making it despite
actually feeling that way. So really, really appreciate
you making the effort. OK, so let's start with what
makes you remarkable, which is what brings us here today. Can you tell us a little
bit about your story? JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Sure. So I was born with two
different genetic disabilities. I actually get one
from each parent, although at birth,
no one knew this. My parents weren't diagnosed
with their condition. They didn't know that
they carried these genes. No one, in fact, knew
this until the age of 17 when I was diagnosed after
paralyzing both of my arms during an exam, which I
realize sounds very remarkable. And you're like, my goodness. How could this not
have come up earlier? But I have a condition that
means the nerves in my body, the protective coating
around them have holes in it. And this means that the
nerves themselves, they don't have the protection. And should they be put
under any kind of pressure, they can either fray, which
means that they're already damaged long term,
which is unfortunately what happened with
things like my eye. So I can't see out
of my left eye, because the vision is damaged. The nerve there
doesn't work anymore, because the hole that protects
that section didn't work. Or the nerve can
swell through the gap in the protective
coating, and that can paralyze the nerve
further down, which can be for any length of time. So I live with the kind of
uncertainty of facing paralysis to any degree for
any length of time, and it can come
back to any degree. And I don't know
when that might be. So a week and a half
ago, for instance, I was unpacking a food
delivery from a grocery shop, putting it from the
crates into the bags. And I didn't stand
up enough while I was doing it-- injured my back. And in injuring
my back, my nerves decided to paralyze
my legs, so that's why I've spent the last
week and a half in bed. And I'm currently in a
motorized wheelchair, propped up with a lot of pillows. So that's how that
nerve system works. But as a child, no one
knew this about me. So I'd come to school
and be like, my hand just doesn't work today. It's really floppy, and
I can't make it work. And my teachers would
be like, no, you're just being ridiculous. That doesn't happen. No five-year-old has a hand
that just randomly doesn't work. You're just faking. You're making it up. And I'm like, I'm really not. This is very
inconvenient for me. You think it's annoying for you? I'm five. I want to go out and play. I have a floppy hand. It's bothering me more than you. Come on here. I'm not faking this. This is annoying. So I was constantly dealing
with things like this. I was constantly
injuring myself. I was dislocating fingers. I was having-- just
things where I'm like, I can't feel my
shins, for instance. Because when I crawled
on them as a baby, that stopped them from
being able to feel. And growing up, I thought
this was completely normal until the age of 17
when I got diagnosed. And they mapped my
skin and were like, let's find out which bits of
your skin you can actually feel and which bits you can't. And they were like, you
can't feel your shins. And I was like-- JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: Should I? JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
--you can feel your shins? That's a thing? Shins have failing? Oh my God, what? This is crazy. Oh my goodness, shocking. So there's a nerve
condition aspect. And then there's the connective
tissue disorder as well, which makes the nerve
condition worse, so it's much worse
than it would be if I just had the nerve issue. If I just had the
nerve issue, I'd probably have just like
numb fingers occasionally. But unfortunately, with
the muscle condition, I dislocate a lot. And therefore, the
dislocation a lot means that the nerve
issue is worse. And it also affects my
internal organs, so I have, I think, postural orthostatic
tachycardia syndrome, which is really fun to say. So if I say-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] --if anyone's really ever nosy. I get this thing a lot
because of the way I dress. I'm like, here I am in my
pretty, frilly pink summer dress, coming out of
the disabled toilets. And maybe I'm not
using a mobility aid that's super visual, so I'm
just like flouncing out. And there's some busybody
out there like, excuse me. That was the disabled toilet. It's only for disabled people. And I just pull this
out of my back pocket and go, well, actually, I
have hereditary neuropathy with liability to pressure
palsy, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, with postural orthostatic
tachycardia syndrome. So I am disabled. Because it just sounds
excellent, doesn't it? It's brilliant,
just a lot of words. It's wonderful to say. But yeah-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] --coping with all this. Sorry? JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
I was saying, I'm sure nobody says
anything after that. Yeah. OK. So with that,
actually, it helps us going to the next question,
which is how has your deafness, your disabilities in
general, maybe even your identity if you want
to touch on that point, shape you and shape
who you are today? So you told us a bit
about the background, and I would love to
understand how does that impact your life nowadays. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Yeah, so growing up I was in this very odd position
of knowing things about myself but constantly being
told that I was wrong and that I was incorrect, even
though they were things that I innately knew about myself. So I knew that there was
something wrong with my body. I knew it was different
to other peoples. I knew that I couldn't run
like other children could, that I was injured a
lot more than them. I knew that I liked girls. I knew that when all my friends
were like, oh my God, that boy, isn't me amazing? Oh my God, I love him. And I was like, no,
no, absolutely not. No. But have you seen
Rogue from the X-Men? I die. Isn't she beautiful? And my friends
were like, no, no. So I knew I was gay. I knew that was a thing. I was like, yep, that's me. I've decided completely. And people from the
outside were like, you can't know this about yourself. You're too young. You're too young. That's not possible. But I was really, really
sure about myself, and I think it just gave
me a lot of confidence in a lot of other ways. And it's a funny
kind of misconception almost, because it could
have made me feel very, very bad about myself. And I almost went two ways. There was the thinking
of, I am alone in this. There is no one else
out there like me, because I didn't see anyone
else out there like me. I desperately wanted to be a
"Blue Peter" presenter growing up, which if you don't know,
is a kid's TV show in England. The presenters are amazing. They get to do all this
fun stuff, like dress up in historical costumes. And they make cool
little art projects that always somehow involve the
inner tube of a toilet paper roll and have lots
of fun doing that. And they interview fun people
like elephants for some reason. Why not? And they'll go and visit
some interesting old castle. And for some reason, they also
then go jump out of a plane or go and hike up a mountain. And my dream was always to be
a presenter on this program. And I was like, yes,
all of these things I know that I can do,
except for I don't think I can hike up a mountain. I don't think my body
will allow that to happen. And therefore, does that mean
I can't be a "Blue Peter" presenter? And I would look
around on television and see these people having such
fun, having such a good time, and want desperately
to be like them. But think, I don't think
I can, because I haven't seen anyone else who's like me. And even nowadays,
there's a statistic that only 0.06% of people we
see in adverts on UK television have a disability, and yet
a 1/5 of the population has a disability. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
That's crazy. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: It's
completely unsurprising, right, that you'd think, how on
Earth could I ever be on TV? How could I ever share my story? How could I ever work in the
media, do these fun things? JOANA LIBANO
MONTEIRO: And that's where YouTube comes in, right? Because you have I think
almost 900,000 subscribers, more than 76 million views. Yes, I checked yesterday. That's impressive. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Yeah, yeah, round me up. Go on. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: Yeah. It's quite remarkable. How did it all start? And how did you even think
about YouTube as an alternative? Because, to your
point, mainstream would have been hard. And so I would
love to understand how that clicked for you. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Sure. So, again, growing
up, this was the thing I really wanted to do. And I felt like it was
absolutely impossible, and I just couldn't do it. But, again, I'm a really
determined person, and I think it comes from
that childhood of being told no about things that
I knew were absolutely 100% correct about myself,
from having to go to school and being told-- I went to a Church of
England primary school, and they were quite keen
on telling us about when we were older and had husbands. And I was like, I
think you'll find-- no. But I'm older and have a
wife, which, by the way, is still very traditional of me. But here we are. I do have a wife. We do have a child,
so did go down a very traditional pathway. Slightly off-center but
still very traditional. And I was just very determined. I decided that this was
what I was going to do, even though I knew it was
going to be quite hard. And I have a lot of family
who work in media, in the film and TV areas, but
none of them were, to be fair, that supportive
of the idea of me doing it, because they knew
how hard it was. And they all said,
well, you've got to start from the bottom up. You start as a runner,
and it's really difficult. You start from the intern, and
you're getting people coffee and running around. And it's the tough jobs that
you're up till midnight. And, Jessica, you fall
over after standing up for half an hour. It probably isn't
the thing for you. It's not really
going to end well. And when I injured
my arms at 17-- say injured. So I was sitting in an exam,
and I leant on my arm for 20 minutes whilst I was writing. And in doing that, I
got a crick in my neck. I'd also been on
crutches for six months a few months prior
to this, which had made the muscles in
my neck a bit unstable. And then the leaning on
my arm, during this exam, was I guess the straw that broke
the camel's back, literally. And by that evening, my
hand had started to go numb. The numbness had spread
all the way up my arm. I woke up the next morning. My arm was completely paralyzed
all the way up to the shoulder. Being a teenager, I
it was quite funny, for some reason, because
I didn't know that there was anything wrong with me. And I thought that this would
just get better in a few hours. What a funny dead arm that
I'd apparently slept on. My friend came over. We lined up a number
of items for me to attempt to pick
up and then drop. My mother was not pleased
that we were doing this on her kitchen table-- dropping like buckets
of sugar everywhere. But, hey, you teenagers are
going to teenage, I guess. We did raisins as well. The dog was there, like,
this is great, guys. Keep going. Why not? Drop everything. Drop those biscuits. Go for it. Yes. And then the next
morning, my other arm wasn't working either. We were like, oh. Ooo, might be time to
go to the hospital. Gosh. And at hospital, I
did a whole barrage of tests thinking that this was
going to be meningitis, a brain tumor. Could be any kind of
very disturbing thing. And actually found that it was
this genetic thing I have-- hereditary neuropathy with
liability to pressure palsies-- and told me that probably
my arms would come back, but they didn't know
when it would be. And it was a year and
a half until they did. But during that time,
obviously I was having exams. I got to where I wouldn't
be able to do my exams, because I couldn't write. I wouldn't be able to
continue to take my classes. My entire school education
was completely messed up. I'd also had a test
in the hospital, and they were checking to see
whether I had a brain tumor or anything-- a lumbar
puncture that takes the fluid from your spine. And it unfortunately went wrong. And they tried to take a tiny
bit of spinal fluid using a needle in my spine. And-- so sorry, should
give a needle warning before I talk about needles. I always do that. I'm like, here's a
warning, but afterwards. Sorry. And unfortunately, what happened
was the spinal fluid leaked out through the hole, because
it's supposed to close up as soon as the needle comes out. But unfortunately it
didn't, and it bled out. And my father took me
home, because it was a Friday when I'd had it done. And I'd been in the
hospital for a few weeks, and I'd been going
home every weekend. And I had this test
done on a Friday. He took me home for the weekend. And unfortunately, by
the time I got back to the hospital on Monday,
most of my spinal fluid had bled out. And it hadn't been
picked up on that I'd been getting progressively
iller, and iller, and iller. I wasn't able to lift my head. And because I'd lost
so much spinal fluid, I essentially wasn't
able to sit upright at all without dehydrating
my brain, which is incredibly dangerous
because it can kill you. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: Wow. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: And
I suffered some brain damage from the dehydration
in my brain. And so every time I did sit
up, I would vomit, pass out, slump back. And I had to spend a long time--
it was two years all in all-- on bed rest, lying down. I also had to be in a dark
room, because any light hurt me. I couldn't have sound, because
the tiniest sound hurt me. Fortunately, I was, at this
point, losing my hearing, so that was good. That was working in
my favor fortunately. Even touch, the tiniest-- I remember being in my hospital
bed and someone pressing gently their fingertips to the
end of this hospital bed. And it sent shock waves
of pain through my head. And just the extreme pain that
I was in for about two years with this was exceptional. It was definitely the worst-- the hardest time in my life. And as I was going through
it, I was just thinking like, is this it? Is my life over
at the age of 17? This feels a little premature. I feel like there's perhaps more
I should have done with my life here. I think I've got more to do. I think I've got more to say. Definitely other things I'd
like to try in the world. "Blue Peter," call me. And I kept myself entertained
by creating little television shows in my head. I would play myself
episodes every week. I spaced them out, so I
was very harsh with myself. So I played one
episode on a Monday, and I'd be like, oh, got
to wait till next Monday for the next episode. I couldn't watch actual TV,
because that hurt too much, but I could play TV in my brain. So got to make it
up as we go along. So I did that instead. So I made up this
little life that I was going to have in
the future and what it was going to look like. And I just remember
thinking, I can't be alone. I can't be the only person
who's going through this. I can't be the only person
who's living a life like this. I didn't know anyone
else who was disabled. I didn't know anyone else who
was living in a similar way to me. I kept thinking, if
I get through this, if I get to the
other end, I've got to turn around, and
help other people, and pull them through it, too. Because I didn't see anything. I didn't get any media of
how I could get through this. And people would give me
books, like special stories of people who became disabled. And they're all
like super worthy. They were awful. They were terrible. My God, there was like, oh
God, some girl who'd had got some virus, and then
she became disabled. And, oh, tragedy. Oh God, no, goodness. But a boy still went
to a dance with her. He was so sweet. Oh, he held her hand. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. He held her hand. That's all she gets now. She's in a wheelchair. She gets the boy
that holds her hand. Delightful. So this is rubbish,
absolutely atrocious. I'm not having this. So I decided I was going
to create something new. If I got through this, if I was
going to get to the other side, I was going to create
something new, something representational, something
that could actually be inspiring to actual
disabled people. Not something inspiring for
non-disabled people that's supposed to make
non-disabled people feel good about their
lives, something for people who are struggling. And, granted, it
doesn't have to be people who are struggling with
a disability related thing. It could just be people who are
struggling with something else. But just something that's there
to say, yeah, life is hard, but also there can
be so much fun in it. There can be so much beauty
within that struggle. So yeah, I got through that
bed rest, thank goodness. And I was like, I'm
going to make it through. I'm going to get through this. And I decided to
try out university. That was hard. I was like, I'm
going to do this. Maybe this will help me
skip that whole runner job in the film industry. And then through that, I started
my university's first ever television society. It was like an online
TV society where I made very little videos. So I taught myself
to video edit, and I did the presenting,
and the editing, and came up with the stories. I basically just
made YouTube videos but on the
university's platform. I was like, yeah,
this is really fun. My God, this is amazing. And then through that got head
hunted by a local TV station. They were like, hey,
come work for us. It'll be really great. We're not going to pay you,
but it would be really great. You'll be working for us. We'll totally take your money. But it'll be really great. Do it. Yeah. So I went to go
work for them, and I found that it was
not the easiest thing to work for someone
else when you have a body that doesn't work for you. It just does its own thing. Because I can't control my
body myself, so how on Earth am I going to control it
around someone else's schedule? Doesn't necessarily do that. And if they tell
me that I can only film on Wednesdays
between 9:00 and 11:00, I can't promise that
my body is going to be capable of doing
that on Wednesdays between 9:00 and 11:00. However, when I had
the freedom before and I was doing my own
videos, I could film whenever my body felt like filming. And I could edit when
I had to be lying down, because I can edit on my
laptop, and it's just on my lap. And I could come up
with creative ideas whenever I felt like I could. And that flexibility
was amazing. I started running myself into
the ground and getting iller, and iller, and iller, and iller. And at this point-- this is the up
point in the story. Don't worry, we've got there. We've got there. I had just met my
amazing fiancé, who had just become my wife. And she was like,
hey, tell you what. We just got married. How about I give you six
months and fully support you, and you just don't do that job
anymore and become a YouTuber? And I'll give you six months. You just try this YouTube
thing, see how it goes, work around your
body, your schedule. And if it works
out for you, great. And if it doesn't, we'll see. And fortunately, it
did, and we've never discussed the alternative. She's never told me
what I would have had to do if it hadn't worked out. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
That's impressive. It's so inspiring just
to hear your story. Thank you for sharing. And I hope others understand
the options they have and the flexibility. Sometimes, it's
not easy, though. It's hard. So I guess this is
IamRemarkable Week, and we are reflecting about how
we can challenge modesty norms, how we can boost
people's confidence. And you're certainly the
epitome of confidence. So what's one piece of advice
that you would give people in the audience to boost
their confidence today? JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: I
think the best piece of advice, when it comes to confidence,
is just that you know yourself. Even if you feel like
you don't, you do. You know yourself better
than anyone else does. So even if you feel like
you've got to take a moment, you've got to think
about yourself, you know what you need. You know what you like. So if someone is trying to work
you to do something that you don't want to do, if they're
trying to make you agree to something, if it doesn't
feel right for you, don't. And you can always
adapt things in a way that does work for you. And you'll be actually
really surprised how flexible people can be if
you're just open and honest about what does work for you. I think it is truly great
how amazingly open people can be once we start opening
up to each other. I think once we
have the confidence to bear our souls a little
bit with other people, people are willing to bear
their own souls with us as well. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: I
absolutely agree with you. And who in your life has
inspired you to be this way or to have that
awareness of yourself and then confidence in yourself? Who or what-- maybe it was
a situation, or a community, or a person. It doesn't have to
be just a person. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Well, I think the most inspiring
person in my life was my grandmother, who was
a children's nurse in Boston at the outbreak of
the Second World II. And decided that she
was going to sign up to become a nurse in the
Army, and came over, and then met my grandfather across
an operating room table. He was a sergeant
with the British army. He was actually
Swedish, but he was a surgeon in the British army. And they met across an
operating room theater-- table-- on some battlefield
in the middle of France. And she was like, hey, you
seem absolutely amazing. You also appear dedicated
to saving people's lives. He was like, yes, I am. I am dedicated to
saving people's lives, making the world a better place. She was like, fabulous. Me too. Do you want to get married? And he was like, yeah, let's. And three weeks to
the day they met, they went ahead and did
that in the middle of a war, despite the fact it was
actually illegal for American servicewomen to get married. So they did it in
secret illegally in the middle of the war. And then didn't see
each other for years, because, again, there
was a war going on, and they were actually
in different armies, got posted to different places. She's fabulous, by God. So she got posted
all around Europe, where she was busy
saving people's lives and one day was
patching someone up. And he said, oh, nurse,
nurse, you're so amazing. You're so gentle. You're so wonderful. Tell me your name. Tell me your name. Please, please. I know I'm dying. I just want to know the name
of this wonderful nurse who's saving my life. And so she decided to give him
her married name rather than the actual name that she
should have given him, which was her American name. So she was like, oh,
I'm Nurse Kellgren. And he was like, I knew it. So funny, I just saw
a Doctor Kellgren. She was like, you did? Where? That's my husband. I haven't seen him in years. Where is he? And so he told her, and she
was like, well, I'm off. Let's go. And told her
commanding officer-- was like, look, I should've
told you this before, but I got married two years ago. And yeah, I know it was
illegal, but it's legal now. And I know it was secret, but
I've got to go find my husband. Can I go? So she got in the
back of a lorry, got smuggled across occupied
Europe, found my grandfather. They were reunited, celebrated
together at the end of the war, as that happened, came
to England together, had a lot of children, and
were together for 60 years. And she completely made
this entirely new life, because she was like, yeah, I'm
dedicating my life to service of people and saving lives. And she created
this family that-- so many of my family
have gone into medicine and care greatly about saving
people, making the world a better place, and are
really inspired by her and by my grandfather as well. But they were just amazing,
inspirational people who thought that,
while we're here, it's our job, our duty to
help as many people as we can I suppose. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
I guess you do it now with your own
means, and it's incredible to see how YouTube
and other social networks also hopefully help you
get the message through. What are some of the most
inspiring experiences you have gotten from
getting yourself out there? Because essentially,
you're exposing your own vulnerabilities. How does that bring out
the best, or not, in people that you interact with? JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Yeah, I think so often we hear about how
social media, as a whole, the internet is
a negative thing. That's a topic of discussion
that comes up very often. And I think it's always from
people who aren't seeing just how amazingly, wonderfully
representative and diverse new media is compared
to old media. If we're looking at
YouTube, if we're looking at YouTube's
top creators in terms of who people
really love and cherish and who's risen up
there, it's amazing. It's people who
wouldn't really have had a chance if they
were being on the more gatekeeping old media,
like film and television. And that's really beautiful, and
that's really wonderful to see. And I always say to
people when they ask me about creating a
YouTube channel-- they're always
like, I don't think there's anyone would
be interested in me. I really want to make
a YouTube channel, and I really want
to share my passion, but I don't think that
there's anyone who would care. And I'm like, I thought that
there wouldn't be anyone who would be interested
in the intersection, the niche of
disability and LGBTQ+. I was like, that's
a tiny niche, when I started my YouTube channel. And then come to find
out down the road, 1/3 of people who identify
as LGBTQ+ have a disability, and 1/5 of the
population, as a whole, have a disability
or chronic illness. It's a massive, massive
part of the population. It's actually the
largest minority-- people who have disabilities. It's hugely underserved. And it's wonderful
that nowadays we are seeing people across
social media platforms, and especially across
places like YouTube-- Which I think
YouTube's wonderful, because it allows us to really
form the connections that we're seeing, that we wouldn't really
be getting on television. Because we're actually
able to leave a comment and inspire our creators to make
a video responding to something that we've asked
them to talk about, that really connects
to us as an audience. We're essentially
commissioning the television we want to see rather than just
being fed what, from the top down, they think
we should watch. And that's amazing. And then on the
other hand, I also love looking in my
comments and seeing people that I know have been watching
my videos for years, and years, and years and have
made really strong, really passionate friendships-- and even some relationships. I'm not going to
take full credit. I just put them together. I didn't light the
romantic spark, but I got them in the same room. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
That is incredible. That is absolutely incredible. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Yeah,
I just love things like that. Absolutely love to see it. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: And how
do you keep the creativity up? It's crazy how you continue
to create new videos, and all of them are more
inspiring than the other. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Oh my goodness. Yeah, people love
asking that question. "How do you get
ideas for videos?" I have an issue
with that actually in that I have too many ideas. I use Google Calendar, which
is my favorite resource ever, so props to the creator
of Google Calendar. I use it as my daily
to-do list, calendar tool. It's not just Google Calendar. It's not just to be used
as a calendar, guys. You should also use
it as your to-do list. It's really excellent for that. So I have different slices
within my calendar which is like, filming, writing,
editing, to-do, what to do today, all of that. It's all in there. It's perfect. But I also have one
that is just videos. And then I can easily
drag and drop them around. So whenever I have
a new video idea, I just create a new
calendar thing for it, and I put the video idea
as the name of the event. And then in the
notes, I'll write down what I think the video
is going to be about. And I might be inspired off of
a conversation with a friend, might be from an article I read,
might be from another video that I watched,
an Instagram post, might just be
randomly from a walk. Ideas, they come to me, a lot. I think I've got
200, at the moment, in that Google Calendar. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: Wow. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: I
have to keep dragging down as we approach the day. JOANA LIBANO
MONTEIRO: Well, that's great, because we realize that
you need the pipeline for us to continue to be
able to watch you. So I'm glad you have 200 plus,
and I hope the pipeline doesn't go dry anytime soon. OK. So let's give the
audience the chance to ask some questions as well. We have a question
from Ines Kovako. "What are the best ways that
those in the LGBTQ+ community can support each other?" JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Great question. Really good question. I think that the best way that
we can support each other, as a community, is being
vocal and educating ourselves on the parts of the community
that we are not part of. So I have a series on my channel
that does historical profiles. So I'll look at different people
through history who were part of either the LGBTQ+
community or had a disability, just covering the people that
we didn't talk about in history class-- or the people that we did
talk about in history class but the parts of their lives
that we didn't talk about. That type of thing. And one thing that I'm really
trying to do with that is also inject and therefore learn more
about the parts of the LGBTQ+ acronym that I'm not a part of
and therefore learn more about, and spread awareness of,
and share support for. Because I think it's
really important to be vocal not just on day of. So if it's Bisexual
Awareness Day, it's great to be like, yeah,
it's Bisexual Awareness Day. Woo! Let's post that flag. But what about every
other day of the year? Let's talk about bisexual pride. Let's talk about
bisexuals on other days. Let's support them every
other day of the year as well. So being vocal and
supportive and making sure that we have got
all of the knowledge up here, that we've got all
the education so that when we are in a position
where someone else starts spouting something. And we're like, oh, hm,
hm, hm-mm-mm-mm--mm. That's misinformation
right there. No, no, no, no. Let me come and hit you
with a correct fact. That's wrong. That's the stuff that we need. We need people who've
got their facts right. We need people who can stand
up and say the right thing. Or it's also totally
OK if you don't feel all right in
that situation, if you're putting
yourself at harm. Please don't put yourself at
harm to stand up for something. But also, go ahead
and do it online. Go for it. Go for it. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
I really, really like that, because
essentially, the way for us to support each other is to
actually educate ourselves first and then
support others better. I really like that. So second question of the
day, question from Monica-- "First things first,
I love your channel. It brought me so much
joy during this pandemic. You talked about the flexibility
YouTube gives you to work when your body is able to work. How do you give
yourself permission to rest and take care of
yourself when you need to? The culture of busy
and productivity is so hard to escape." JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Oh,
this is a great question. Oh, wow. Yes, I will admit my personality
isn't great at resting, as you can tell. Here I am propped
up with my pillows. I don't tend to
enjoy doing nothing. I like to be doing something. That's how I rest. So I discovered--
not discovered, but-- like I discovered it, I
found it under a rock. "The Sims 4"-- excellent,
an excellent game. Fabulous, fabulous. That is how I rest. So for those of
you who don't know, "The Sims 4" is a
life simulator where you can make little people do
things, be productive for you. So I lie down, and rest my body,
and essentially rest myself, regain my spoons by making
a little pixelated version of myself do things. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
That is fantastic. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
I should see a therapist about that. I realize that it's not
probably very healthy. Now that I'm saying it out
loud, it sounds terrible. But yes, find a thing that you
can do that makes you feel-- if you're one of
those people that needs to feel like
you're doing something-- makes you feel like
you're doing something. Maybe it's threading beads. Maybe it's coloring in. Maybe it's embroidery. Something that's very
small, very calm activity, so you are actually
resting as much as you are physically able to rest. But you're still doing it
just a little bit at a time, little thing. And then at the end of it,
you're like, ah, look, a thing. I was productive. But you weren't really. You were resting. Shh. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
That's fascinating. I don't think I have played
"Sims" in like 10 years now, but I do play other games. So I can see how that could
be a very interesting one to go back to. Question from Alessandra-- "Jessica, love your story,
love your resilience. I know film and
TV, as an industry, are challenging to break
into to say the least. It's so great to
see how you managed to make it your own path. If you wouldn't
have found your path in YouTube and content
creation, what else would you have loved to do?" I guess this is the
plan B from before. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Ooo. Well, obviously be a "Blue
Peter" presenter, obviously. But if they wouldn't
have had me, the other thing that I
would really love to do-- and would still love to do
actually and hopefully will get to do at some point-- is write books. I really would love to
write books for children, both the under sixes,
but also young adults. I want to write a book
series about our dogs and how they live
in a little family. And it has two moms,
and also include some disability in there. And just make books that are-- I think because when
I became disabled and I got given these
books about disability, and they were so depressing,
and awful, and very much that kind of book
of the week vibe, where it's just
about this one issue. And there's just no joy in it. There's no happiness. It's just to make people
who do not have disabilities understand disabled
people, but there's nothing about how you can be
disabled but also have fun. You can be disabled but
also have love in your life. You can be disabled
but also do whatever you want to do with your life. There is the books that I'd
like to write, just the idea that you can live your
life and be happy. That's what I'm going to write. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: I cannot
wait for those books to come out. And in that context
of the books, there's a question from Mariana. "Thank you, Jessica, for
being such an inspiration and sharing your story. As a fellow mom, I
would like to know how best you are planning to
educate Rupert on disabilities. Any recommendations for
me to talk to my daughters about this and maybe
any other books that are more inspirational
and positive than the ones we traditionally would have?" JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Hmm. Yeah. OK. Oh wait, sorry. Can you repeat that question? Are we on question one? JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
I will say again. I will also repeat that,
"You're an inspiration and thank you for
sharing your story. But as a fellow
mom, I would like to know how best you
are planning to educate Rupert on disabilities. And any recommendations for
me to talk to my daughters about it?" JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD:
Oh, sorry. I think I got too deep into
thinking about my answer there. And then I was like-- right. Yeah, so first thing is
that I have a lot of friends who have disabilities. So that's obviously one
way that Rupert's life will be opened to disabilities
is that there will be people in
his life around him who have disabilities. And we're going to be very open
and discuss those with him. I think that one thing I found
quite difficult growing up was that people tended to
assume that I understood things, because they had just been
in my life the whole time. And I think this happens
with children a lot, the way that people assume
you understand the relationships between
people because they've always been there. So obviously you
understand which cousin belongs to which
aunt, because you've always known them, right? And I was like,
well, no, I don't. I have seven aunts,
and I have 19 cousins. How the hell am I supposed to
remember which goes with which? I don't know. Also, they look quite
similar to be honest. I needed a refresher
course occasionally. So Claudia and I were
talking about this, and we thought that,
with him, we can't just think that he is going
to, by the process of osmosis, somehow
understand everything we know. We can't just
think, oh, it's OK. Because we have this level of
understanding ourselves about LGBTQ+ history, because we have
this level of understanding about disabilities,
what we should say, the correct way to
address people, things, the correct way you should
talk about mobility aids. That we should just think
that, yes, he'll definitely understand how to talk about
that, we shouldn't say that. We shouldn't think that. What we should be
doing is having open and honest discussions
and conversations with him about them. Now, currently he's
only three months old. But yeah, I have actually
had a conversation with him about why I'm
lying in bed right now and why I'm not able to help him
as much as I normally would do. And I've said, I'm really sorry. I wish I could be doing a
nappy change for you right now, but I can't. Because unfortunately,
I've injured my back, and that led to
some semi paralysis. Now, semi paralysis means-- because, yes, I know,
he's three months old. But, hey, why not? Maybe it'll sink in. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: Starting
early is important, so why not? Why not start early
in that area as well? We have a bit more than five
minutes and many questions. So for the final
ones, what I will do is we'll go through them fast so
that we can tackle all of them hopefully. So question from Lauren Jones-- "I'd love to find
more disabled creators as it's so underrepresented
in traditional media. Can you or anyone recommend
any disabled creators?" JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Yes. Yes. OK. That is an excellent question. Let's just throw some
good ones out there, although I am so sorry. This isn't going to be a highly
curated good list, because I'm throwing them out there. People who are amazing-- Little Pine Needle, who
makes wonderful garments. Really love. Talks about different sewing
techniques on YouTube, really interesting. Is currently making
a bra on Instagram. And I'm like, oh, I'm intrigued. I've never thought of hand
sewing my own bra before. And now I'm like, oh, wow. Also uses a mobility aid,
has some really cool videos about that. Annie Elainey--
really excellent. I think is Annie Segarra on
Instagram, might be wrong. But I think it's Annie
Elainey on YouTube. Does really amazing work in
the Latinx side of YouTube, as well as disability YouTube,
and also LGBTQ+ YouTube. Brilliant. Stevie Boebi, who has
just started talking more about her ADHD, which she was
diagnosed with as a really small child, actually
at the age of two, but hasn't talked about
openly online since recently. So that's really interesting. And is talking more
about her diagnosis. That's great. Oh my God. I don't want to use up
all the time talking about amazing people. But yeah, check those three out. I'll do a follow
post on Instagram. I should do that. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
That's a great idea. That's a great idea for
others to also access folks with disability. Question from Mikhail-- "Hey, Jessica, you once said
in your video about Quakerism-- that you avoid
arguing with people. So I would just
want to know how you are able to avoid getting
angry when people disagree or disregard things, like your
sexual identity or, in general, disrespect your opinion?" JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Yeah. Yeah. It's true. I do indeed avoid
arguing with people. I never argue with
people, because I feel that it brings nothing
to any situation to get angry. Yeah, I'm of the mindset
that a negative emotion brings nothing but
negativity to myself and doesn't ever
win me anything. So if I'm trying to
have a reasoned debate-- I know, I hate the idea that we
have to be rational, and calm, and so like nice-- I'll call it ladylike-- to ever win a
discussion with someone. But unfortunately, that's
kind of how the world works. So I don't ever raise
my voice or tell someone that their opinion is
stupid, because that's not going to help anything. However, I try very hard
to dismantle their argument and very politely and
helpfully show them where they may be
possibly incorrect. Because from past
experience, I've learned that people
really only change their mind when they
feel like they're changing their own mind. Unfortunate. You can show people
videos, which I think is a really great way. People like to watch videos. And then feel like
they found the video, and then it changed their mind. Not that the video changed
their mind but that they were able to change their
own mind from the inside. Not that you did it
by sending it to them, they did it themselves. I think it's always
very useful to know that you can do it that way. Send them lots of
articles, and then they can make up their own mind. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO:
Why not win an argument through deconstructing
the other side? If the world were to
follow your advice, we would have certainly
way less conflict. Just saying, maybe
listen to Jessica. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: It
would take forever, though, just to be clear. It would take forever. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: True. True. That's true. But we could at least start. We don't have more
time, but, Jessica, it has been a true honor
speaking with you today. Big, big thank you
for taking the time and for sharing with us
your incredible journey. And to everyone
in the audience, I hope you felt as
inspired as I did. Thank you so much, Jessica. JESSICA KELLGREN-FOZARD: Thank
you so much for having me. JOANA LIBANO MONTEIRO: Bye. [MUSIC PLAYING]
