I Told My Girlfriend To DUMP Her Daughter Somewhere Else If She Wants To Live With Me & She DID IT

people what's your biggest relationship deal breaker i 33 mail live in a very wealthy county near the east coast with a fantastic school system and safety net it wouldn't surprise me at all if someone were to guess it my home is just a normal house it's not going to be featured on tv or a magazine however it's valued well over a million simply because of the location i inherited this home from my parents who left it to me along with two other homes that i rent out i do not work i understand that is a privilege my girlfriend is 31 and is taking classes for a nursing degree she currently works as a cna if you don't know a cna is a very tough job but doesn't make much money at all she works and studies hard we've been together for four years i do love her very much my girlfriend has a daughter the issue is the daughter hates me at least once a day there would be a snide remark on how her mom works but i don't and i'm just lazy she mocks me whenever i have an opinion that's different from hers she talks about me to her grandparents dad and friends who get back to their parents because i make her mom work and i'm lazy it's always something this past fall she began acting out in physical ways she broke two windows in the house deflated the tyres on my car and my bike cracked my switch screen and the last straw was letting my dog loose in the neighborhood resulting in him being caught by animal control yes he was fine but that isn't okay at all in my book i told girlfriend that her daughter had to go if i lost her as well then so be it she's a mom first and her daughter isn't coming around even with therapy girlfriend asks for more time and she would make it work and explained she couldn't leave her job in school as it would push a degree further away i told her daughter had to go no more discussion here's where i'm lost daughter asked girlfriend if her grandparents could take her in until she's done with school everyone was good with this daughter was very happy vocally with this until school started because her grandparents live two hours away in a very poor school district again some can probably guess the location where we live and she's getting bullied really bad she told her mom that it's because of colour and it's gotten physical twice but most of it is really bad verbal bullying she can't go to the local park to walk or she comes home in tears from what i understand daughter has started asking to come back here after winter break and her mom thinks that was the kick she needed to be respectful i refused i don't want to hear anymore life is peaceful and i'm not being attacked anymore and i'm living the life i want without judgment she could have killed my dog am i wrong for not allowing her daughter to move back in i think i could be the idiot because her new home life sounds to be very bad and unsafe i probably get heat over this but you are not the idiot the idea in this story is your girlfriend who chose you over her own daughter i can't call you wrong for not wanting to house a child that's not yours she is not your responsibility and you told her mother that you no longer wanted the responsibility your girlfriend on the other hand should have done a better job to either have you two get along or find a new place for her and her daughter in the spirit of honesty i would have taken in more responsibility but her dad is still in the picture and i was told by both nicely to be honest that parenting isn't my job honestly it more sounds like she is trying to better their life by the post number she had her daughter really young probably years of struggle now she's trying to earn a degree she lives with op so living expenses aren't as bad and she can juggle her life if she's uprooted that is either going to stop altogether or take much much longer frankly i wouldn't be surprised if as soon as she graduates and lands a decent job she dumps opi he isn't an idiot for not wanting so many issues but i really don't see that relationship lasting unless she is a terrible person i can't believe i'm saying this but you are not the idiot based solely on the presence of a pet you're right she could have killed your dog so opie you are not wrong however given she is a young girl and you say you love your girlfriend you could give her a chance set super strict boundaries on her living circumstances have a zero tolerance policy on infractions and require family counselling which would include you and the dad if her dad says no to your involvement then okay no problem and it's a no-go lastly your girlfriend is an awful parent she's broken no child and does not take responsibility real responsibility looks like taking soul responsibility this poor young lady's predicament is 100 not your fault and you likely have zero real impact on her future the person who is responsible is making this about living arrangements which it is not think about what kind of mother she would be if you had children together she shouldn't be getting a pass from you i 24 female was recently promoted to the newly created position of chief of staff at my fiance's company my duties mainly revolve around making sure my fiance schedule and company priorities are in order and helping make sure company operations run smoothly before i was chief of staff i was an associate and then a vp among the associates there has been a culture of covering for each other so nobody gets in trouble with the bosses for example if somebody is running late for work others will make sure they can get caught up when they come in and that person is expected to reciprocate the favor when the reverse happens the same thing is expected when somebody isn't doing so well on a project other associates fix the mistakes so nobody gets in trouble however when i got promoted i felt like i was ghosted from that culture of collaboration i stopped getting invited to go out and people have made snide comments about me having shorter hours than them and from the perspective of my new role i saw that the fact that they seem to keep a lot from the executives and myself makes it hard for us to understand the specific things particular employees need to work on melanie 44 female is a single mom she's popular at work but despite being friendly to everybody she is also part of the group of associates who ice me out making my job harder i was also pretty sure she was rushing in late upon talking to my fiance he confided in me that one of his other managers have written her up two times for being slightly under 10 minutes late and the explanation always had something to do with her co-parenting issues he said i can always tell him if she gives me any trouble the other day i caught melanie red-handed coming into work over five minutes late one of the other associates tried to tell me that melanie had finished her part of the work and that none of them had even started their day yet they begged me not to tell on her for something that small after considering what everybody said i still decided to tell my fiance i asked if i could give insight and he said he always loves hearing what i have to say i said that melanie has not been making my job any easier and that her tardiness is probably setting a bad example i suggested that she be let go and my fiance said he'd think about it i come in two days later and hear melanie was fired earlier in the day i asked my fiance if i should feel bad about this and he said absolutely not however when i walked to my office i saw many people glaring at me during the day i overheard one tell a recent hire to watch out for me the next day another employee said she'd been there for 16 years but she never moved up or got long lunches referring to mine even though i'm also running errands for the company am i the idiot i caught melanie doing something wrong and spoke my mind on it i also hope this can be a start to new associates that don't feel the need to ice managers out lmao 24 year old with no experience gets a promotion because she sleeps with the owner destroys morale and asks if she's the idiot honey no matter the judgment your fiance's company is going to crash soon you are the idiot notice she doesn't say how old her boyfriend is not only that but she was an associate what does that mean my money is on a low level position then a vp and then moved into the newly created position of chief of staff that's quite the series of promotions for a 24 year old i'm going to bet the company is privately owned by the fiancee and opie is well on her way to being a trophy wife for a 50 year old man god this whole situation sounds too toxic lol so you are a glorified secretary you do realize that undue promotions breed distrust among the employees especially if there were more experienced people around it also doesn't help your case that you're engaged to your boss being the employee's so you have more power than you realize and you utilized it brazenly and got her fired no wonder when someone was fired for being five minutes late there's tension in the office yeah no you just made sure everyone will keep icing you out you are the idiot you are so wrong oh my god she was over five minutes late what do you people do at work that is so totally critical that being a few minutes late is a firing offense the corporate culture of covering for and supporting each other sure isn't being continued by you at first i felt bad for you that you were being iced out but after this pettiness it makes me go hmm the co-workers advice to each other to watch out for you sounds like a good idea just remember what you put out is exactly what you're gonna get back you may be in a lofty position now but it's funny how things can change in the blink of an eye i 43 male met a woman 34 online several months ago we began talking and really hit it off she's a really pretty woman but she does have a slight flaw to her physical appearance she has a bad case of tmj which makes it so that when she gives a big smile one side of her mouth curls up into a huge grin while the other side basically stays still every selfie we've taken together has her looking like this while i absolutely accept that this is just a condition she has i wish she could do what she can to make it less noticeable we've recently started talking about becoming engaged both of our sets of parents are ecstatic since they both apparently thought the grandkids weren't happening from either of us but when the subject of engagement photos came up i told her that she should not smile quite so broadly so as to let her true natural beauty shine through she got really really angry at this and said that the curled up lip on one side is her natural beauty since it's her she said that she isn't even sure if marrying me is a good idea i'm the youngest of four kids in my family and the only boy my father 71 when he heard about this told me that it was no wonder that none of my relationships have worked out through all these years and that i need to apologize to her and beg her forgiveness my mother 67 said that i should have been nicer but that she understands i know all of this sounds bad but i just really want her to be at her best that's not for my sake but for hers you are the idiot and a liar your girlfriend isn't uncomfortable with her smile it actually sounds like she likes it you are the one who is embarrassed what would be best for her sake is if she didn't marry you because you put perfect photos ahead of her happiness you are not wrong and most likely will be single again real soon fingers crossed imagine if they get married she gets pregnant doesn't lose the baby weight fast enough for his liking and he has to remind her to get slimmer quickly because for her sake she should want to look skinnier in photos i totally missed the hope he was 43 totally read this post expecting him to be 18 or 19. i wouldn't say this kind of stupidity is acceptable in a younger man but it's definitely more common hopi is old enough to know better i hope the girlfriend kicks him to the curb if he hasn't learned common decency by his age he isn't going to the dad was the best part about this story it suddenly dawned on him why his son didn't have much success with relationships before i for one am also curious if op did something to offend others in the past i 23 lost my dad to cancer cancer is a horrible disease my dad was and still is very important to me he had such a great impact on my life he was a single parent he raised me and my brother by himself never remarried never complained not even once i'm a medical student and i'm looking forward to doing my own research on this topic lung cancer and i want to help others using my knowledge and also my skills he inspired me to be in this field and i'm determined on doing all i can to achieve this goal we had him cremated my brother made a necklace of his ashes and gave me one too it's all i have of him and it gives me comfort it's an angel-shaped necklace my fiance and i have been together for three years he knew my dad was there for him before he passed away my fiance has been very supportive and sympathetic but ever since i got the necklace he'd started making comments and giving his opinion even though this makes me uncomfortable he'd say that we should have had a burial service instead of cremation that my dad had the right to have a final resting place he said he didn't think that wearing a necklace with my dad's ashes is a good idea because he thought that it was disrespectful but i don't see how he told me to only wear it at home then he told me to take it off after 7 pm for no reason one he says i should keep it in the closet and only wear it at the church we argued about it for days he said that having a necklace will only hold me back and keep me from moving on he asked how come i'm a medical student and believe in spiritual stuff that aren't logical he came home with a necklace that he said he wanted me to have even though there was no occasion he said he just wanted me to wear it as a symbol of our relationship last night while i was making dinner he saw my dad's necklace and asked why i was wearing it instead of the one he bought me i called him ridiculous because this necklace is way more important since it had my dad's ashes he argued that he already told me he was uncomfortable he didn't with it and that he spent x money to get me that stunning necklace that i kept in the closet i had enough of it and i went into my room he then asked me if i'll get a necklace with his ashes if he dies since clearly this is my mentality he said he had no problem with me wearing the necklace but he couldn't help feeling like he was being second to my dad whenever he sees it he said he couldn't help feeling this way i refused to take it off after this and went to stay with my brother so far he hasn't called and i felt awful about it this man is jealous of your dead father and treating him like he's your ex run a bit hypocritical for him to say you're being illogical and attaching spiritual meanings to things when that's exactly what he's doing real unclear how this is all a threat to your relationship except that he's making it one i'd reconsider this engagement he's got control issues stay with your bro for a while you are not wrong here once he locked down op with an engagement ring be glad he didn't wait to go full bore horrible controlling person after you got pregnant opie this is the single best scenario of him showing his true colors before you got further legally entangled or had a kid with him run while you can and use your experience for not letting the next dude manipulate you like this one is trying to what you are not the idiot i was expecting him to ask you to not wear it while you were intimate with him because yeah that would be uncomfortable but he seems to be making up arbitrary rules if he can't see the difference between our so relationship and a parental relationship maybe he's not the guy for you or anyone you are not the idiot it's bizarre that your fiance is comparing himself to your dead father the way he's treating that necklace you'd think it was made from your deceased's ex-husband's ashes not your father's personally without being able to understand why the necklace bothers him so much there's no way i would stop wearing it just because he wants you to and it sounds like he's unable to articulate why it bothers him so much other than it just does he's your fiance so presume you guys are pretty serious about your relationship i would recommend going to couples counselling to see if a third party professional can help bridge this gap somehow i male 33 have been with my fiancee female32 for six years in total she's a doctor and has been working at the local hospital for three years after moving from another town we'd argue sometimes over different matters but nothing major or too serious until now now i'm not the type that calls every other hour whenever she's away or anything i give her space and i respect her privacy i never really try to even ask her how a day at work was because she likes to keep work and personal life separate understandably so but things have changed i noticed there was this guy who'd been a patient under her care who always gets brought up for example she'd have his number and call him outside of work i was surprised when i heard her talking about him to a close female friend of hers and when i asked she told me patient confidentiality so i shouldn't ask who this guy is i basically knew nothing about him other than he receives treatment under her care that's it i tried to let it go and thought nothing of it but i couldn't ignore her interest in this particular patient after she started contacting him during late times at night for long periods i just confronted her and she lashed out saying i was trying to get involved in her job and trying to control her i ended up reporting her anonymously after she behaved like this and i did my best to not make her feel i had anything to do with it but she came home and yelled at me telling me that i was behind the issue she had at work and that the hospital officials have spoken with her and got the patient involved as well after they received a complaint against her she somehow knew and yelled at me for wanting to ruin her career by being petty she refused to sit down and talk packed her things and left she told me to not try to contact her because she wanted to rethink being with someone who has no regard for her hard work i tried to explain to her but she keeps lashing out at me i felt absolutely terrible but her reaction wasn't fair to me at least she didn't even think how her behavior was affecting me and kept calling me petty info i was able to determine exactly which patient she was talking to her friend about by talking to her friend otherwise i wouldn't have felt strongly that something was going on her friend told me that my fiance mentions this patient a lot and talks about him in details she gets so defensive whenever i try to have a conversation with her about this issue and make sure i get zero answers also whenever she's on the phone with him she'd walk out and stay gone for a long time then stays quiet afterwards honestly at this point it's pretty obvious and i feel so bad that she's behaving like this now after six years i've never seen her acts like this ever i have an awful feeling and i just can't take it you are the idiot i notice you don't say what kind of doctor she is either way you reported her anonymously which means you already knew you were being wrong and you just didn't want to commit to your nonsense doesn't matter you're still an idiot you are the idiot it sounds to me like you reported her out of jealousy it's not clear here that she was acting unprofessionally or breaking patient confidentiality hipaa calling a patient outside of work and talking about a patient if she's not sharing protected information is not grounds for her being reported it sounds like you were insecure and instead of trying again to have a mature conversation with her or giving her an ultimatum etc you took it out on her career [Music] you

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Id: NGX0b-srXBo

Length: 19min 57sec (1197 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 23 2020