- [Noel] Morning. - After you.
- Thank you very much. So today I'm off to Howrah
Train Station here in Kalkota, to come and get a train
across the country. All right, so here's where the fun begins. This is Howrah Station in Kolkata, the new train station here, apparently, but I've got no idea where I need to go. I'm getting a train
today down to Bangalore. And so I've got no Scooby
Doo where I need to be. So I'm just gonna see if we
can find anything that helps us to figure out where I've gotta go . It's all kickin' off, the dogs of Kolkata. Havin' a bit of a scrap. Aww, look at, them puppies, look. Okay, this looks fun. So I don't actually have
a reservation on my ticket for which room I'm in on the train. So I've got to come to the sort
of board and figure it out. So this is gonna be fun, isn't it? Hey, I found me. There we are. Coach A1. And I've got a room to meself.
There we go, that's good. I'm gonna take a picture,
though, so I don't forget it. Now I've got no idea
where my coach is gonna be on the train, whether it's gonna be
this end or the other end. It's a really long platform. I'm imagining it's at the other end, 'cause on the sign my coach
was on the far left-hand side. So I dunno if that bears any relation to where the coach is
actually gonna be or not. But yeah, I'm gonna head down, I think, to the far end of the platform, 'cause there's loads of people up here, and there's not many people in my coach. So I'm imagining that the
quieter end of the platform might be where it is. Let's
go see if we can find it. This is so confusing. It looks like the trains comin'. Well, I thought it was other
end of the platform. You know it would be wrong, didn't you? It's right at the far
end of the platform now, behind the train carriage. So all the way down, back down we go. All right, I think this is me. H1. This is me, so let's head inside. Thank you. I think this is me. Oh, okay. Here we are. I mean, it's a little
sparse, but it's not bad. I mean, we've got, what we got? A mirror. We've got light switches and stuff here. Plugs and things, and
yeah, that's about it. Only a short hop today of 36 hours. So in my rush to get to
the station this morning to try and find my train, I've not eaten anything today, and trying to get across the station, never even thought to stop
somewhere and get some food because the train sort of came in, and now I'm realizing I've got 36 hours, and I don't know really what I'm gonna do. I've got loads of water, because I sort of brought 12
bottles of water from my room that hey left me, very
kindly, back at the hotel. So they were in me bag. There is an app that you can download that's just let me go
on and order some food that's gonna come to the
train at a later station. There's no food, I don't
think, on the train itself, but you go on this app, and then when you pull
into this certain station, they bring it to your room
or something, I think. I don't how it works. I've just gone on and
ordered meself a bit of food for later on for like four
o'clock this afternoon. So who knows if that's
actually going to turn up. So we'll find out when we
get to whatever station it is later in the journey. But in the meantime,
I'm just gonna sit here and drink me water, and yeah, hopefully in a few minutes we're gettin' on our way. Before we go much further, I just wanna say a big thanks to this week's video sponsor, BetterHelp. BetterHelp provides secure online therapy that can be done from
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things sorted in your head. I've got a long way to go yet, I know. Now then, let's get back to the video. So here we are then on
our way out of Kolkata on the Duronto Express, although, we're not very expressed at the moment. I imagine we will be
later on in the video, a little later on in the journey, rather. But yeah, here we go, leaving Kolkata. This feels so exotic. I've never been on a train in
this part of the world before. In fact, I've never been on a train outside of Europe and America, really. So, it's pretty cool, I have to say, to be on board this train
heading out of Kolkata in India for our journey today, which is gonna take us all
the way down to Bangalore. It's a flippin' long way. It's like most of the length of India, down towards the bottom of the
ice cream cone in Bangalore. It's about a 30-hour train
ride from here in Kolkata, for which I'm gonna be here in this, whatever, I think it's a
1AC, I think it's called. So it's like as good as it gets
on Indian Railways, really. So yeah, looking forward to
this journey an awful lot. It's gonna be so cool. So the man's just been
round with me paper bag. I think it's linen and stuff for the bed that I'm gonna sleep on
the upstairs bed, I think, and sit on that downstairs bed. You normally end up sharing
rooms on this train, but I've booked, done what I usually do, 'cause I'm not very
sociable, believe it or not, and I've booked myself two tickets so I can get both the upper and
lower deck in the same room. And they thankfully allocated
me in the same room as meself, so that's good. So I'm gonna be sleeping on
the upstairs one, I think. So, yeah, got me linens, which I'll make me bed later on with. Yeah, so excited. These Indian trains, man, I've just wanted to ride
on one for so, so long. I've just heard so many
awesome things about them and seen so many videos on them. Read books and stories and tales of people traveling across India on the
trains, and I'm here doing it. It's just so cool. Well, this is a good sign. The man's just been round and
given me a bottle of water. So, it's nice. It can go with me other 12 bottles. So if nothing else I'll
be hydrated on this train. But yeah, it's a good sign that they're bringing
water around at least. 'Cause that gives me a hint
that they may actually have something around a little
later on to eat, but yeah. - It smell good, sir. It
smell good, it smell good. - Okay, all right, thank you.
- Thank you. - All right, thank you, sir. I have no idea what that's about. A man just come in and
sprayed something in me room. I don't know what it is. It smells like toilet
cleaner, if I don't mind. Some sort of disinfectant
or something, I imagine, but . It's so weird. They've just literally brought me this mango punch drink through, and as the guy was handing it me he had another guy taking a photo of him handing me the drink. I don't know whether I'm some sort of celebrity on these vlogs. It's quite funny, but yeah, very strange, okay. I've been given my, ceremoniously given my mango punch, and it's all been recorded
for posterity on his phone. So . So there is food on board. They've just come and asked me if I want egg curry or chicken curry. So I'm having a chicken
curry for my lunch. Yes, we do get fed. I was having a brief panic there, thinking I was gonna be very
hungry when I got to Bangalore, but it looks like I won't be, not necessarily anyway. All right, so just over an hour after departure from Kolkata, and this has turned up. Don't know what it is. He said soup, but I don't... I'm not entirely sure. We'll see. Looks interesting, anyway. So the rest of me soup has turned up. It wasn't... Must be just hot water in it, 'cause I've got a little
packet now of tomato chatpata, basically cup of soup. So I'll just have that. See what it's like. And that's quite nice. It's like cream of tomato. A cup of soup you get cream of tomato. It's quite nice. Oh we're pulling into our
first station stop as well. Just over an hour since we left Kolkata. And now we're in... Where are we? Kharagpur. So just pulling into Kharagpur
Station, Kharagpur Junction. I think we're stopping here. I'm not sure. We're going very slowly
through the station. Although we are going a long
way through the station, to say I'm right at the
back of the train, but yeah, we'll figure it out in a minute, I think. We're still rolling through Kharagpur Junction Train Station. This station's so long. It feels like we're speeding up again. Maybe we're not stoppin' in the Kharagpur. The train stations here,
they're just incredibly long. That's insane. We were just going through that station for a good five minutes,
just crawling through . But hey, we are continuing, I think. We're not stopping there. I don't even know if it does stop anywhere on the way down to Bangalore. I'm not sure. We'll find out. At some point, we've
gotta stop at some point, presumably, a 30-hour run for the driver is gonna be not much fun, is it? So yeah. Anyway, let's carry on. All right, so here's what
you've been waiting for on the Indian sleeper train. It's time for the Noel Philips Loo Review. All right, so, okay. This is interesting. That's literally the
train line underneath us. Yeah, we got a sink. We got ourselves a little sink. And yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Well, it's a good job I don't
need to do a number two. That's literally the
train tracks down there. That's incredible, what? Unbelievable. Anyway, yeah. I've gotta be careful with
what I eat on this train. That's all I'm gonna say. That was the Noel Philips Loo Review. So the state of those toilets is part of the reason why I'm not taking me shoes off, really. I'm keepin' me trainers on for for the most part on this journey. 'Cause I don't fancy him
walkin' around knowin' what's all over the floor in them toilets, and what I've potentially
been standing in, ew. And what other people
have been standing in. But nevermind. It's all part of the fun, isn't it, of travelin' on Indian Railways. So I'm gonna deeply sanitize my hands now, I think, and yeah, enjoy the scenery out of the window. All right, me lunch just turned up. Intriguing. Well, should we see what we
got, then in our little meal? Think I'm gonna open it
for you so you can see. So that must be the chicken
curry, which smells very tasty. Don't know what that is. So I'll give it a go. Give anything a go once, me. And then rice. I know what rice is. I'm not that uncultured. I know what rice is. So let's open me cutlery. By my cutlery, I mean a spoon. See what it taste like. Mmm, that's not bad. That's not a bad curry. Let's try this, whatever
this thing is here. It's very like a soup. It's not bad. It's better than you get on
East Midlands trains anyway, a pack of crisps and a
drink if you're lucky, in first class. It's better than that, isn't it? Now as much as when I booked this train, I kind of realized it
was an overnight trip. Didn't really think much about
the scale of this journey, but put it this way, we've been travelin' now for
four hours out of Kolkata. I've got quite a numb backside
from sittin' on this seat, so I'm gonna lay down in a minute, but look in four hours
this is how far we've come. We've literally come from
Kolkata, which is here, to there. And we're heading to
Bangalore, which is here. We've done that little bit there. And we've got all this way to go yet. Such a long journey, isn't it? And the scenery, though, is
quite nice out the window. Lots of little villages and towns and seeing people just livin' their lives in these little towns. It's so cool. Flying through people's little towns, getting a glimpse into
people's sort of lives, really, in this part of the
world. It's quite nice. It's a glimpse you don't get to see when you're in a plane flying over
at 30 something thousand feet. Much nicer this way, isn't it? And a little more relaxed. So guy's just come into
my room and asked if he can plug his phone in and
charge it, and it keeps ringin'. Oh I hope he gets it back soon. I can't have that going off all night. So then six hours after we left Kolkata, we are now finally actually arriving at our first station stop. This is a place called Bhubaneswar. Never heard of it before now, I'm afraid, but it's a little town, little city, sort of six hours,
obviously, out of Kolkata, on the way down to Bangalore. And it's about the, one of the biggest stations
that we've seen yet, actually. So that's probably why we stop here. I'm not sure how long we're
here for in Bhubaneswar, but hopefully not too
long we'll be on our way carrying on into the night. All right, so leaving Bhubaneswar behind. I think this was the station where I ordered my food to come to, which clearly hasn't turned up, but there's not so much of an issue, because it seems that we get
food on the train anyway. So yeah, nevermind. So yeah, off we go again. Flipping, heck, some of
these trains, look at 'em. How many people are crammed on there? Look. There's me complaining about
how sparse this room is, but look how many people
are crammed on that train. Geez, it's like a cattle
carriage, isn't it? Wow. I think this is actually
not too bad actually. I'm gonna stop complainin', I think . All right, so as we
pull out of Bhubaneswar, matey boy's come and got
his phone, so that's good. That's not ringin' anymore. And we've got a snack. Sandwich. Masala Murmura Sev. That must be like Bombay mix or something. And then something else snacky. Something hot and snacky. Should we try? And something that may
have come out of the toilet at the end of the carriage. I don't know. We'll have to figure that one out. Rescued from the tracks or something, but we'll try that in a moment, but what did we try first? Let's have a look. Let's try what's in paper bag first. It's like a sweet snack, that does. I'll have that in a moment. and then a bag of crisps, and yeah, that's all right. It's not bad, considering
we had a big lunch. It's quite nice that we have
a snack in the end as well. It's quite nice. So, let's get this eaten. Now, I don't know what's in this sandwich. Doesn't look the most appetizing. Here to go. Mmm. all right, thanks. What else we got? Let's have a look. Let's try me Bombay mix, whatever it is. Never make packets easy to open in India. I've noticed that. If you just wanna have a packet, it's like it's been welded together. Jesus. How you supposed to get into them? I tell you what, I'm peckish, but I dunno if I'm this hungry. I can't get into them. Try me one of these instead. Mmm. That's quite nice. It's like a pastry thing. Trying to work out if
it's sweet or savory. I dunno, give me a minute. It's kind of savory. Curried something. It's all right. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yes. Finally got into me Bombay mix. Quite nice. It's like rice. It is rice. It says rice on it. That's cool. Oh, look at that view out there. Hang on, hang on. Look at the sunset. The crisps aren't bad. I have to say compared
to the delicious curry I got given me at lunchtime, this is, it's not meeting up to those standards, unfortunately. So, nevermind. Won't do me any harm. We are, yeah, sun just setting. I'm gonna sit and enjoy
the sunset, I think. And they've just brought me a cup of tea I'm gonna get in a few minutes. So yeah. You know it's moments like these, when I'm on these trips, and I'm just sittin' here lookin' out over the
sunset over eastern India on an incredible train that's taken us through some of the most
beautiful parts of India, and I'm just saying,
lookin' out the window, thinking how fortunate I
am that I get to do this. This is just incredible. Thank you so much to
every single one of you who watches the videos. Honestly, could not do
this without any of you. It just, the fact that I can do this and come and travel around and
show you guys what it's like traveling on these trains and experiencin' these beautiful, beautiful
sunsets like this and beautiful scenes like we've had today. Just incredible. As rough as it is. As tough as this train is. As rickety as it is . It is still an incredible experience. And I'm so very grateful
that I get to do this. So thank you, everybody. I'm gonna start settling down in a minute. So just locked me door here, and pull the curtain across, 'cause you just feel a
little bit like a zoo. I've had several loads of kids comin' up and start wavin' at me through the window, which is quite nice, very friendly, but I don't always want that while I'm tryin' to get to sleep . Anyway, shut the blind anyway. Just gonna enjoy the last few moments of daylight down here, I think, and then I'll go up and get in bed. - [Man] Sir. - Hi, on the table, please. Thank you. It's late at night now. I've never been to prison in my life, but I've seen enough
prison TV shows and stuff about how it all works, and like how the prisoners get, just hear that haunting
sound of the guards coming down the aisle,
bangin' on every door, waking them up, and that's kind of what
it's like on this train, if I'm honest. Every time I've been trying to nod off, I mean, it's like 11 o'clock at night now, every time I've been trying to nod off, every now and then you
can hear the tip tapping of trying to get in your door, and they're getting closer and closer, and eventually they start
tapping on your door, and you're like, oh god, here we go. And if you don't answer, they just start hammering
harder and banging, and at one point this
guy, on the last time, was trying to kick the
door in, trying to get in, and I'm like, what's goin' on? So eventually get outta bed, crawl down to the bottom
bunk to let them in, and they just wanted to mop my floor, or empty the bin or somethin'. And then it just, then it all happens again
for some other reason. And just now they've just come around, for some reason they've just come around at this time of night to
bring me my prison meal, which they've sort of popped down there. But goodness, me, honestly, it's like so late at night now. It's too late to eat. I just wanna sleep. I just... I just don't get it. Just, the door's locked. Just accept that the door's locked, but rant's over. Well, good mornin' from
somewhere in India. I'm not sure where, let me check. I'll have to look on my little map. See where we are. But it's sort of time, what time is it? Half seven in the morning now. So we've been on this train now for, gosh, about 21 hours? And we've got about nine hours
left to run into Bangalore. Right at this moment in time, according to the old rail
map, we are sort of here, near a town of Visakhpatnam, on the east coast of India, coasting down the Bay
of Bengal, effectively, towards Bangalore. And we're due into Bangalore
at four o'clock this afternoon. I did get some sleep. They eventually stopped
coming through to my room quite late last night. Although I think someone's
come in overnight, because there's food been left for me. Dunno when that's from. I ended up just leavin'
my door unlocked all night because I was gettin' fed
with them, keep banging on it, to get me out of bed to come and open up. So I ended up just
leaving the door unlocked. So no idea how many times they
came in overnight after that. But every time they
were coming in as well, they were taking photos. Everybody wants pictures,
and it was all right. It was quite funny at first, but now at one point last night, three of them came in
wanting a selfie together, which was just not very comfortable when I'm sort of trying to get to bed and trying to get to sleep, but they don't seem to kind of respect that you might wanna get
to sleep, so I don't know. Nevermind. Don't know if we're gonna get, well hopefully we get
some food this morning, some breakfast or something fresh. 'Cause I don't fancy last
night's curry for tea . Unfortunately. But yeah, not long now. Nine hours left to run. And to be honest, I
can't wait to get there. I mean, even in this room it's been a chore on the
train, I have to say. I can't imagine what it's gonna be like in one of the other carriages as well. And it's just, the other thing is it's
so uncomfortable as well, because it'll be alright
bouncing along for a bit, but every now and then
it jerks really badly to the point where you think you're gonna get thrown out of bed. It's really bad, but I don't know, just different sort of junctions and things we was
crossing over, I suppose, that's makin' us do that, but nevermind. It's nine hours to run anyway, and I can't wait to get there. Thank you. Do you fancy getting
your hands on my socks? New ones, that is. You can buy those and much
more exclusive Noel merch all over on my merch
store at noelphilips.com. The link's on the screen now. So another meal, another photo shoot. I've got me Corn Flakes. I know what Corn Flakes are . SO, I'm gonna eat me Corn Flakes. I don't know what else we got in here. Oh, cold toast. I don't know what's in this thing. Looks like some sort of omelet. A mango punch. All right, for some reason
hot milk on Corn Flakes. Mmm. I'm not sure. It's all right, I suppose. You're just not used to having hot milk on Corn Flakes, though. That's a bit unusual for
my taste, but it's okay. It's okay. So the train manager
of the Duronto Express has just come into my room
in a very strange exchange, and he's like, "Oh yes, welcome
aboard the Duronto Express." I've been on for over 24 hours now, but welcome aboard anyway. And how am I enjoying it? Has the food been okay and everything. I'm like, it's been okay. I'm doing my typical kind of, "Yeah, it's not too bad, not too bad." And he's like, "Can you send a tweet "to Indian Railways and say,
'Thank you for the service.'" And I'm like, really? I mean, I don't do Twitter
anyway, as you know, but he wants me to write
a tweet to Indian Railways to say thank you for the
fantastic service on board. So, I don't have to Twitter, so I can't. There we go . That's my answer to that, but yeah, it's a little bit
random interaction there. But nevermind. We've got five hours left. Five more hours. We did it, we've done like 25 hours now. We can do another five. Surely we can do another five hours, and we're on the last stretch, I think between sort of
Chennai and Bangalore now. Cruising across India. And I just can't wait
to get off this train, let's be honest. All right, me last meal. Or me last meal on this train anyway. Hopefully, me last meal on this train, as I'm looking forward... I have to be honest, I'm loving
Indian food, I really am. I've eaten nothin' but
curry since I've been here, which is amazing. I'm a big fan of curry. I do like me curries. And I've had 'em all over, in
Delhi, and Bengali curries, and down here on the train as well. But you know what? I just, I'm so looking forward to actually getting to eat
like a KFC or something or some sort of bit more westernized. I know, it makes me
sound really uncultured. You can't come to India and
then moan about the food, and I'm not, 'cause the food here is
absolutely delicious, and it's amazing curries, but after four days of
eatin' nothing but curry, I'm starting to want
something that's not curry. So yeah, we'll have to see
when we get to Bangalore later what there is, but for
now, it's more curry. Oh, and it looks like a
spicy one today, you know. They only give you a spoon
to eat it with as well, which is interesting. That's something I've noticed. That's that soup stuff, isn't it? Yeah. I'm not a fan of that. They
only give you a spoon to eat it, which is great for the sort
of the sauce aspect of it, but what about the meat. I won't work with those. What about the meat? You can't cut chicken with a knife, and then also you've got
dahl to eat afterwards. So you can't... You've then gotta wipe you spoon down to eat your dahl with your spoon. And then, well, let's see
how spicy this curry is. This... Jesus Christ, this is bloody spicy. Got me water at the ready. Ooh. It's lovely, but very spicy. Ooh. It's makin' me eyes water. I've had more people showing up asking me for tips in the last 10 minutes then I think I've had throughout the whole of
my time here in India. I've had the guy who brings the food. I've had the train attendant. Even had the cleaner around
with his mop in his hand and a load of money in his
other hand wanting a tip. I'm expecting the driver
to come around in a minute, to be honest, when asking for his... Now I appear to have
gained an extra cleaner in addition to the other one
who also as a mate as well, and they've both been in and
just swept my room and now they've had a tip and all. So I dunno, I think
half of Indian Railways are on this train at the
minute wanting tips . So we're literally in Bangalore now, but we've still got now until
we arrive at the train station and it's only sort of five, six miles away from where we are now, on the edge of Bangalore, and it's still gonna take us an hour to get into the train station. So yeah, wow. So we've been stopped
on this sort of curve, probably about a mile and
a half from the station. We've been sat here now
for about 10 minutes. The train isn't supposed to arrive for like another half an hour, and the people, they're just
sort of getting off the train and just walking across
the tracks and just going. That's funny, isn't it? They'd never get over this back at home. All of those people with
suitcases down there have gotten off a little
bit further up there and gone under the bridge as well . So good job there's no other
trains comin', isn't it? Wow. All right, we're here. All right, goodbye, Duronto Express and goodbye stinky toilets. We're here in Bangalore. Bangalore. Goodness me, this is chaos around here. I'm gonna go wait down here, I think. See if me Uber comes. Oh, there he is. Is that him? That might be
him there, a Suzuki Swift. Let's go and see. Hello. As always a massive
thank you to my Patreons for helping to make these videos possible. You can join them at the
link on the screen now for access to my WhatsApp group, live Zoom calls with
me, and much, much more. Thank you. All right, thank you. Made it to me hotel. Let's open these curtains. That was an eventful journey, wasn't it? On the old Duronto Express
Indian sleeper train. Yeah, I dunno whether
I'm gonna be in a rush to do that again. Although, I might have
another one comin' up later on in this trip for
you somewhere else in India, but we'll find out hopefully that one might be a bit nicer
than the one I was on. But anyway, we're here at
the Taj Hotel in Bangalore for a couple of nights. A few bits and pieces to do down here. In the meantime, while I'm off to go and get myself a shower, because I feel absolutely
disgusting after that. So I hope you've enjoyed this video. Let me know what you thought of it down in the comments below as always. And let me know what you
thought to the Duronto Express, and would you come and
ride a train in India or would you just take
the more sensible option and fly or somethin'? But let me know down in the comments. In the meantime, anyway, I'm off. I'll see you on the next one. Bye for now.
Really didn’t look brutal at all. Looked pretty damn comfortable if you ask me. Shit goes on the track in the U.K. as well. Toilets looked fine. Good food brought to you, clean sheets, AC, gently rocked to sleep by a slow moving train…it’s bliss man.
God forbid you get some curry residue in your dal. Lick your spoon?