I Pack Stuff To Visit In-Laws But BF Sneaks At Night & Checks My Suitcase... Today I Find Out Why

i 31 male and my girlfriend 25 have been dating for about two years my girlfriend has beautiful hair that seems a lot lower maintenance than most women i know she doesn't use all 100 different hair products nor does she blow dry it it honestly doesn't take long to style her hair or anything however she always insists on using this special towel to dry her hair she insists that she can't use any regular towel for her hair she gets mad if i use her hair towel as a regular towel too she says that the towel should only be used for her hair she even bought a couple of extra ones of these towels that she keeps in her drawer at my place she also takes the towel with her when she goes on vacation i usually don't mind it since the towel doesn't take up much space and it is better than listening to a hairdryer all the time but it's a bit weird because i don't know anyone else who has a towel just for their hair for thanksgiving we traveled to see my family before the trip i asked my girlfriend to leave her towel at home since we'd be staying at my parents house i didn't want my family to think she was weird or make fun of her since we planned to leave early in the morning girlfriend spent the night at my place i noticed that she packed the towel she kept at my place in her suitcase when she was asleep i took the towel out she didn't see the tower was gone until after we got to my parents house i thought it was okay and my girlfriend didn't seem mad at all during the whole trip however when we got back to my place my girlfriend got into her car and drove off without saying goodbye she texted me later saying she's mad at me because of that stupid towel and she needs some space i keep calling and texting her but she won't respond my friends think she's being overly dramatic but my girlfriend isn't that type of person so now i'm wondering if i messed up am i the idiot you are the idiot first of all it's not that unusual for a woman to have a hair drying towel regular towels are heavy and can be rough and using them to dry hair can cause the hair strands to break if you have long hair and want to keep it healthy using a smaller microfiber or cotton towel makes a big difference i'm sure the women in your family have at least heard of this and wouldn't find it odd but even if it were a super weird thing like a plush octopus that she feels the need to take with her wherever she goes or whatever it would have been crappy of you to take it out the suitcase without telling her that's not an appropriate way to behave in a relationship why would your family see her after a shower do you all shower together who cares if she has a hair towel you are the idiot because you decided you knew better and took her property out of her suitcase she was mature enough not to freak out during the trip that's why she drove away to gather her thoughts she will probably come to this exact conclusion any sane person would i brought a microfiber towel and wore a t-shirt on my head at my husband's dad's house over the holiday to dry my hair and keep my curls nicer do you know what my husband did kissed me giggled because i wasn't using my regular hair drying shirt and had to use a ponytail so i looked like a unicorn and told me i looked cute then went on with what he was doing so yeah this guy just showed her that whenever he doesn't get his way he will go behind her back to secure it this isn't about a towel it's about all future disagreements small or otherwise op why is this such a big deal to you that she uses a different kind of towel for her hair your family is not going to care lol would they even see her use it in most cases using a hair drying towel is something that happens in the bathroom or the bedroom before changing you took it out in the dead of night secretly because you knew that she wouldn't like it and you didn't stop to think that that was an idiot move pro tip if you have to do something in secrecy because you know it'll hurt or annoy the person you're doing it to you're being an idiot and it's a bad idea my dad wants to get a paternity test because he's now convinced i'm not his real daughter my mum ran away to another country with some guy when i was eight years old and lately my dad's become sure she was cheating on him long before that and i'm someone else's baby so he keeps talking about how paternity fraud is a big issue and he needs a paternity test to be sure he's not getting suckered into raising another man's kid i don't know why this is only coming up now and honestly it hurts my feelings that he's like i don't think you're really my kid i'm biased obviously but i don't think i'm a problematic kid i get good grades i don't drink or do drugs or smoke i don't talk back i do my chores so why does it feel like he's so desperate for me not to be his does he hate being my dad that much even though i'm pretty sure i am his real daughter because we look pretty similar i'm somewhat scared of what might happen if we found out i'm not like would he stop caring about me would he kick me out i have nowhere to go so even though he's entirely set on getting a test i'm refusing and he's mad about it i even told him i would consider doing it when i'm 18 i have two years left it's not that long to wait but apparently he needs it right now am i the idiot for refusing you are the idiot your dad wants to know if your mom was cheating on him he needs closure to the messy situation and to see if he's raising another man's child these are legitimate concerns for him this is not a reflection of you as a person you can't control his actions if he realizes you're not his daughter i don't think he hates being your dad i think he will hate being a dad to a child that isn't his there is a difference between the two get the test and move forward from there not the idiot it's sad to say but i fully believe your dad will throw you out if the paternity proves he is not your dad so i'd say sit down with him and talk about how it makes you feel that he's pushing for a paternity test to people saying but dad deserves to know no screw that noise dad had his chance eight years ago to test for paternity when he had reason to believe open might not be his instead he decided not to and continued raising her as his child be she his child or not the boat for this has long set sail you wouldn't adopt a child raise them for 16 years and then one day go nah this isn't biologically mine so i don't want it anymore so why is it okay in this scenario yep if dad said something like you will always be my daughter no matter what i could say otherwise and that he wants to know the truth but he told opie that he doesn't want to be suckered into raising another man's child so he could kick her out or something even if opie is her dad's biological dad it is still an extremely crappy thing to do he basically told her that he wouldn't hesitate to kick her out if she wasn't his and didn't value her as a person or their connection op your mom is the idiot you're not wrong and your feelings of being hurt and sad are completely valid however i don't think it's unfair of him to want this test i know plenty of comments say that biology doesn't matter but your dad has already suffered a tremendous betrayal from your mom no you shouldn't be punished for it but i can't imagine trying to cope with that and just not knowing it sounds like the not knowing has gotten to him and he isn't thinking rationally but instead he's being fueled by pain and anger five days ago my brother called me to let me know we had a pretty bad storm coming asked me to drive up to help him patch up some stuff he has livestock and didn't want to risk them getting injured my wife said she and our two little sons would stay at home and avoid getting stuck during the storm three days ago she called to let me know she and the boys were sick i asked if she wanted me to come back early my brother could have dealt with the rest on his own she said no and so i stayed unfortunately the storm hit pretty bad and i didn't get home until last night i got in and my oldest non-verbal autistic was clingy i didn't think much of it he's always like this when he's sick youngest was sleeping this morning he gets up and is clinging to me which he doesn't usually do lets me know he's hungry so i make breakfast and they both finish it the oldest signs more and the youngest agrees at this point i'm concerned getting our oldest dewey is usually a struggle and it's worse when he's sick so i get them more as asked but ask my youngest what's going on he tells me mama is sick too i asked about it she confirmed she was too sick to make their food so they mainly had been living on whatever the boys could grab for themselves the lower cupboards are filled with little snacks gummies crisps the like which is all they had for three days we were running low anyway so who knows when the snacks ran out we had none left i checked i got mad i told her she couldn't let our kids live on junk just because she didn't want to get up and make food she says she was too sick i say she should have called for help she has a sister less than 10 minutes away her parents are around the corner from us my parents are 30 minutes in a car but i know they would have driven down there's absolutely no reason to let them go hungry on top of the fact that i offered to come home and look after the boys so she could rest up she's claiming i'm insensitive i don't know how sick she's been etc her older sister came over to help but mainly to call me an abusive husband she was essentially saying that if i cared that much i should have taken the boys to my brothers with me which i was going to but my wife asked to stay at home with them her parents are also siding with her saying that a few days without meals is hardly neglect my parents are disgusted with their behaviour but have told me to let it rest until she and the boys are better i don't know if i'm being irrational or not but i feel like if food was going amiss what else was she neglecting brushing their teeth our oldest isn't potty trained was he leaving him wet for hours on end i get she's sick and wasn't thinking straight i feel a little bad as she seems worse this afternoon but my kids deserve better am i the idiot here not the idiot parenting does not have sick leave if she's so ill that she can't handle making her children food she needs to let you know to come home or ask a friend or relative to help out leaving two little kids to fend for themselves is not acceptable it's neglectful especially with online ordering and contactless delivery it's super easy nowadays to get some takeout what the actual heck this is nowhere near okay basically you've got a wife you can't trust to care for your kids or ensure they're cared for when it's not convenient for her and in-laws that try to blame you for their daughters and sisters neglect i don't know how to advise you about this except to say that leaving your kids alone with your wife or her family is no longer an option for you he said they had a stocked fridge and there were fresh fruits bread and cheese on the counter but out of reach of the children she had the energy to walk back and forth to the bathroom and somehow had a stash of empty water bottles and chocolate cakes wrappers from the kid's stash by the time he got back yeah no this was neglect to the grossest extent now here's the issue what do you want to do moving forward i 36 female work at a company with around 30 employees basically everyone working here knows each other i've been working there for eight years the longest of any employees who are not the company's founders i live a ways away from the company office for about five years now i've worked remotely and only came into the office when i had to attend meetings in person or meet new employees when global issue here everyone started working remotely recently though most people have been working back in the office this is just not possible for me because i cannot reasonably travel there every day if i have to go to a meeting for a day i have to go there the day before or wake up insanely early in addition i live four hours away in the early spring of 2020 we hired a woman named sue i haven't talked to her much because i haven't been to the office since we hired her but she seemed perfectly friendly when i did interact with her i have my own home office set up i usually work with at least one of my cats in there sometimes with them on the desk most people know them as i've had one for the entire time i've been at the job they've gotten in the camera a few times but never have been a disruption to the meeting usually if i notice they're in the camera i move them out of the way a few days ago i was in a meeting with sue and a few other people one of my cats was rubbing her head against my computer monitor and was visible in the camera and someone asked if it was my cat i held her up to the camera and then we went on with our meeting sue seemed a little annoyed but didn't say anything after the meeting though sue sent me a message through the software we use she said i would appreciate it if you didn't let your cat in the office as this is a professional space the rest of us can't bring our animals to work and neither should you this is a workplace not a zoo the company's founders have no problem with it and one of them was actually in the meeting and didn't say anything so i thought sue was out of line especially since she's the second newest employee but whenever i've talked to her she's been passive aggressive about it even if we're talking about something different am i the idiot not the idiot but you may have to get in front of this with your boss pronto bring up that you received a complaint about your cat and wanted to check in to ensure your boss was still okay with your working situation sue sounds like the type of co-worker who finds a target to throw under the bus to either advance herself or just because she's a pill i think sue is allergic to cats and is worried she'll start sneezing when she sees one i wrote this as a joke but now i'm thinking it's true honestly sue is jealous that opie gets to be around their cat all day while she has to be in the office and thinks it's unfair that opie gets special treatment but that's not obese fault is sue higher ranked than you in the company if not i kindly let her know that your cats have been in the background for some time now it's rare when they're disruptive on camera and you don't appreciate her telling you how the company culture should be when she's been there less than anyone if she's high ranked than you say all that more diplomatically lol my husband 30 and i 30 female volunteered to host this year's thanksgiving he misses his family and he loves this holiday so we work to make it happen usually everyone meets at his parents home six hours from us for thanksgiving but they're not comfortable hosting right now so we invited them to our place we offered to host they accepted a non-mother-in-law's suggestion we also invited husbands siblings older sis husband and kid said yes younger bro 28 male and sister-in-law 27 female first said no but later changed their mind and said they'd come last week i forwarded them out planned menu and that's when things got weird sister-in-law is vegetarian maybe her husband too i don't know so i sent the menu to ensure there is food they can eat it's a basic thanksgiving menu so everything but the turkey and gravy is vegetarian mashed potatoes corn pudding green beans etc and i added stuffed mushrooms and veggie cream soup brother-in-law said it's fine but later emailed again asking where we buy vegetables i said it depends trader joe's instacart stop and shop and then i got a weird email from sister-in-law about how grocery stores are evil and we should all buy from local farms with 10 links to organic farms in our state i ignored the email when she emailed again later following up i said we'll look into it i politely waved her off all week she spammed the family chats with articles about unethical practices in grocery stores rats mold whatever i don't care to be honest about her drama not about unethical practices i know the food industry is problematic but i operate within the constraints of my time and budget so i muted the chat she must have caught on because two days ago mother-in-law gently told me sister-in-law can't eat vegetables from stop and shop and is very worried about thanksgiving i said i'd get whole foods but sister-in-law emailed another list of farms instead i ignored her again so this morning i woke up to a message in the family chat about how she and brother-in-law just want to make sure their dietary restrictions aren't too much of a problem if i'm too busy to respond to their concerns they don't want to impose and don't have to come so i said we'll have many vegetarian dishes but i can't control the provenance of the vegetables and they're welcome to bring a dish or two with farm vegetables if they want now sister-in-law is mad because i'm making her cook her food and doesn't want to come watch me crying so many tears about that mother-in-law told my husband i should apologize and my other brother-in-law and sister-in-law also think i should apologize to keep the peace my husband isn't mad at me but i can see this is making him sad and i don't want that i kind of feel like an idiot for not apologizing and keeping the peace but i'm also opposed to giving him because dictating where i can buy my groceries seems so unreasonable am i the idiot full disclosure vegetable provenance made me giggle who is to say they will stop at just vegetables is your cookware ethically sourced are you planning on purifying yourself in holy water before cooking not the idiot let's hope they make good on their threat and stay home it sounds like the only way you'd enjoy your thanksgiving not the idiot can you imagine being invited to dinner somewhere and demanding the host only serve free-range chicken and raised by patagonian nuns stand your ground tell veggie's sister-in-law this is the menu you are free to bring something different if you don't feel comfortable with what we're serving the purpose of the holiday is for the family to be together we'd like you to be there but understand if you choose not to attend yup send her the recipes so she has the correct amounts and that date that you plan to start cooking i'm sure the local farms will make it so easy to deliver these vegetables for a fee otherwise she can stay home ridiculous is right was she expecting you to send her the receipt for the ingredients as proof of where you purchase them jesus what a nutty sister-in-law you have [Music]

Channel: XO

Views: 100,069

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil

Id: wKwteeJN-CQ

Length: 18min 14sec (1094 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 30 2021