Best Friend Invites Me & My Husband For Friends Dinner At Her House & Everything Was Well Till She..

i female37 and my husband 42 attended my friend becky's 36th annual barbecue last weekend becky and i have been close friends since college i met my husband shortly after graduating and while he and becky have never been very close such as hanging out without me they've always been friendly we've all hung out together on numerous occasions unfortunately becky recently lost her husband due to a medical issue and we've all been devastated this year becky texted me the day before her event and told me that she was making this year's occasion a child-free one and that meant i couldn't bring my three-year-old and that she understood if i couldn't make it i bit my tongue to be respectful and thanked her for letting me know and told her i indeed wouldn't be able to make it she responded by saying she was looking forward to seeing my husband at dinner though i saw no issue with this and sent her a thumbs up the following day was the day of becky's event and my mother-in-law luckily agreed to babysit our toddler so we thanked mother-in-law and headed over to becky's with food gifts and no children in tow as we walked in becky greeted my husband with a hug and an excited hello and then me with a sort of surprise look on her face she didn't say much to me and went into her living room with everybody else i went to put down the food on the counter while she introduced everybody to my husband and referred to him as dear my husband told me this later in the evening then i walked into the room and she gave me no mind since she was deep in conversation with a friend of hers sometime into the party becky and my husband were both standing at the patio door and she had her arm around his waist he spotted and looked at me with a help me glare so i made my way over thinking she'd had one too many i kissed him as he separated from her grasp becky looked at the both of us and then back at the others at the party with a shocked expression and then ran back into the house crying she ran into the bedroom and locked the door and screamed at me to leave through the door i tried asking her numerous times what had upset her and why she wanted us to leave she refused to answer me and just kept crying so we left and on the way out received some pretty dirty looks from the other party-goers later i received texts from several mutual friends who scolded me for pda and how becky was so upset that i had made her party look tacky and that i was rubbing it in her face that she was a widow i was so shocked in her to hear this and mentioned that every other couple at the event was also being relatively affectionate despite my husband and i not being the ones to show pda i had given him a side hug and a peck kiss and that was all anyways i'm at a loss at what i should do i feel like i hurt a close friend but i'm not sure how and what i can do to fix it reddit help am i the idiot not the idiot i mean it's so apparent she was sitting on the husband she's probably embarrassed and humiliated opie should text her a fake apology i'm sorry he got upset but you see husband signaled me to come to kiss him because he felt trapped by you clinging to him then right off the friendship because it's already over and anyone who comments about pda should get an i had no idea about the pda rule since becky was being so physically affectionate with my husband my first thought was that she led the other partygoers to believe op's husband was a new man otherwise i can't see why everyone else would have looked to op confused and angry after they kissed also the fact that she had to introduce husband indicates to me that this might not be the usual group they hang out with since otherwise everyone would have found it weird that she was hanging off someone else's husband maybe i'm way off but the whole thing seems fishy to me op firstly it sounds like becky needs some help i don't think you did anything wrong and her reaction is blown out of proportion but your husband needs to stand up to her behavior also all i read is becky did this and becky did that your husband cannon should stand up and remove himself from an uncomfortable situation that sounds like victim blaming the husband spends all night being harassed surrounded by wife's friends who are there to indulge becky and it's his fault somehow opie it sounds like your friend wants your man she sounds like she was trying to get your husband there without you by telling you no children last minute grief does weird things i could be wrong and this was an intense grief overload moment and she may calm down and want to talk to you later but still you are not the idiot i 21 female i'm the third of seven children i have five brothers and a sister because there are so many of us our parents let us know they could only afford for four of us to pursue higher education however my older brothers started working out of high school and my sister is planning to get a ged so this wasn't a problem until recently when my youngest sibling told us he wanted to become a doctor obviously my parents don't have enough left in his college fund for that two of my brothers 20 and 18 and i are already in college they borrowed some money and even got my older brothers to chip in a bit but they still don't have even close to enough so they told me they couldn't pay for my remaining time in college and asked me to drop out they said that they would be able to save up enough in the next three years with that money i only have two years left before graduation and i don't want to be without a degree amid a global issue so i said no i'm already paying for part of my tuition fees with the money i make from my part-time job so i also have no savings whatsoever my parents got really upset and asked why i couldn't just make one small sacrifice for my brother's future they said there would be no difference since an arts degree is just as good as no degree and my brother is a straight a student so he'll do well as a doctor i feel bad about rejecting them since i know their last one of my younger brothers who are in college to drop out but i don't intend on giving up halfway through my studies am i the idiot here not the idiots your straight a brother can get scholarships to help pay for undergrad last time i checked med school was close to two hundred thousand dollars your parents not helping with your undergrad so they can save won't be enough and seriously your parents said they'd pay for four out of seven so why not divide up the fund equally pay some for all or none for all op do not buy their crap that you need to drop out that's a complete waste of your first two years of school and you shouldn't stop now i'm sorry you find yourself in this situation if finances are a serious issue you may need to take out some loans to cover the last few years also are there scholarships in your discipline you can apply for i'd like to see the statistics about how many kids who say they want to become a doctor follow through there's every chance in the world your brother waltzes into organic chemistry his second year says screw this and switches to something else when that happens how would you feel if you drop out on his behalf this isn't a small sacrifice you'd be making it's a huge sacrifice and completely unfair of them to ask it also reeks of subtle misogyny did they ask your two brothers who are in college to drop out or only you because this low key sounds like they think you have the slightest chance at a future even with a college degree so they're asking you to drop out instead of them update thank you for all the comments giving suggestions on other funding options i asked my brothers who are in college and apparently my parents have gone to both of them and been rejected so i'm pretty sure they're going to pull support for me now however i'm looking into the scholarships and grants i'm eligible for also since many people have been curious i'm pursuing an architecture degree which i have pretty high hopes for regarding employability i have a teen daughter who's a massive anime fan at the beginning of october she asked me if i could take her to see it saying she would pay for her ticket i told her to remind me so when opening night came on the friday before halloween she asked if we could still go i told her no because it was cold and rainy i told her we could go on halloween when halloween came around we would see if my other three kids wanted to go to the preserve for trick-or-treating that night she didn't take it that well i told her that it had just come out and we could see it next saturday day but it turned out that i had an overnight shift i had to work that night so i told her we could go on sunday so sunday came around and she was excited because it was finally time for her to see her but i didn't get as much sleep the night before so i told her we could go on thursday since she was off that day she kept asking me when we were going but i told her i would take her but her sister didn't want to go on the weekend her sister hates anime almost a month has passed and my daughter is angry with me she's stopped smiling and stays in a room most of the time and doesn't even talk to me anymore i told my daughters that i was going to the movies to see a movie with a friend and my daughter looked devastated she asked when i was going to take her to the movies i told her i didn't know and with that ask went to her room for the night the next night i checked on her and i saw her lying on her bed on her phone in pitch black darkness i told her to get over herself and get out of bed the look she gave me made me feel guilty am i the idiot you are the idiot following other things you've made clear that are more important than your promise to her your other children's preferences mildly inconvenient weather being a bit tired your own movies and fun you've told her where she stands she's now quite reasonably re-evaluating how important your relationship will be in the immediate future when she becomes an adult when you're old and in the nursing home i hope she doesn't visit because it's raining out i agree you are the idiot and you even made her feel like her feelings aren't valid by telling her to get over it because her feeling upset is making you feel uncomfortable she was even responsible enough to say she would pay her ticket which means she's saved her money and hasn't just been blowing it you can't break your word as a parent unless something that is out of everyone's control happens like illnesses because you've just modeled that your word means nothing and that it's okay not to be held accountable for your actions she isn't upset about the movie she's upset that her parent is a liar and it's a great thing that you did this instead of stressing herself out over making you happy you just showed her not to waste a time with you ever again it'll hurt her now but she'll be happy without you in a few years she could have easily asked to see that movie with her friends but she wanted to share it with you let that sink in i 28 mail scheduled a garage appointment last week on a weekday to have my car's original suspension installed and changed to winter tires i use the garage in my home town and i work in the city about 45 minutes away since my girlfriend 24 works from her apartment we don't live together i told her i would be taking her car on the evening before the garage appointment i dropped my car off of the garage after work have my girlfriend come and pick me up drop her back off at her apartment and then i go home we live around seven minutes from each other her car had around three quarters of the tank left a petrol so the next hour drive the 45 minutes to work sit in traffic on the way back for around 1 hour 30-45 minutes and head to the garage to pay since the garage closes at 5 p.m and it was already 4 45 pm at that point after i pick up my girlfriend and drive back to the garage to get my car as i'm walking away my girlfriend pulls me aside and mentions how i've left her with less than a quarter of petrol and that she assumed that i would at least fill it to where it was i told her i didn't have the time to stop at the gas station before paying at the garage since they closed she mentions that i could have gone after before picking her up at this point i'm annoyed because i want to go home after working all day so i tell her i'll fill it up during the weekend when she comes over over the weekend i paid for breakfast as i usually do on sunday i mentioned that i would go and put petrol in my own car and she asked about filling hers up i told her that i wouldn't be filling hers up since i'd paid for breakfast over the weekend she points out that she also paid for her supper on friday she bought ingredients and maybe the cheesecake i asked for i told her we take turns paying and me paying for her breakfast was also me paying for her petrol she then brought up that this was the second time in a row that i hadn't filled the petrol in her car after taking it for work and that she wouldn't be allowing me to take a car anymore when mine is in the garage i laughed in her face and told her i would transfer the ten dollars for the petrol if she was going to be so petty i didn't transfer her any money or put any petrol in her car it ended up costing her 70 dollars to fill her tank she did ask for the ten dollars from me but i told her if she asked again she would be paying for herself at the dinner date i planned this weekend she says i'm an idiot that doesn't fulfill his promises i told her that i didn't promise her anything you are the idiot fuel is expensive it's basic respect to refill the fuel if you borrow someone's vehicle but everything you've typed here is monstrous you don't sound like you have any respect or affection for your partner at all you told her you were taking her car under what authority i hope you stick to your gun so she dumps you sooner rather than later who cares if you paid for breakfast that has absolutely nothing to do with you owing her money for petrol she paid for dinner and the ingredients for cheesecake which was taken together certainly cost more than breakfast the cheapest meal of the day what a lame excuse to steal from her i bought you breakfast you used her gas you replaced the gas try not to be so much of an idiot you are the idiot 100 it seems like you don't like having a girlfriend you like having someone to control the language in your post is terrifying i told her i'd be taking her car i told her i didn't have time to stop i laughed in her face seriously you're a good parent's worst nightmare for their child question opie if your girlfriend switched roles with you and she took your car refuse to fill it back up then pay for something else you both enjoy doing together and saying there's your gas money babe quit asking how would you feel i know you wouldn't take it as easy as your girlfriend has from the way you sound this screams entitlement and i really hope you change your ways before it's too late my brother has been living in a different country because of his work for the past five years his workplace has this contract system they give you a three-year contract and you cannot leave the country during those three years he told me a few weeks ago that he'd be coming to meet with our parents and me he'd be staying at our parents place for two weeks before he would leave again i live in a different state so i'd have to go to my parents home by bus to meet up with my brother my wife is five months pregnant when i told her about my brother coming she said that i couldn't see him because she was pregnant and wanted to spend my birthday with me i suggested i go after my birthday but she said no to that as well she suggested i go before my birthday and come back to spend time with her on my birthday however that would mean i'd only have one day including travel my birthday is on the day my brother is coming back home traveling alone takes about eight hours one way i requested she try to adjust for just a week and that shouldn't be difficult because we already have a full-time housekeeper a driver to take her places and her mom stays with us to help my wife my wife refused and said that i could meet my brother the next time he comes home but that would be three years later when his contract is over again i got mad and said that she was selfish and didn't think she loved me or cared for me she started crying and her mom said that i should be gentle with my wife i just left the house and my wife called me asking me to come home and not leave the house while angry because emotional driving leads to accidents i told her that it's not like she cares about my happiness and requested she leave me alone for a while after about an hour when i came back home she said that i was being a brat by throwing a tantrum over meeting my brother am i the idiot not the idiot wow your wife is being super controlling birthdays will come and go but you may not get to see your brother ever again so go make some new memories with them i could understand if your wife was close to giving birth but she's not i feel sorry for you if this is any indication of how your marriage is not the idiot i understand pregnancy hormones are a thing but this is ridiculous you haven't seen your brother for three years and you live with your wife whom you see every single day she's being extremely unreasonable i don't see why she can't let you leave for a week if her mom and the housekeeper can help with tasks around the house while she's pregnant because op's wife only cares about herself and only cares about him being there to take care of her needs and wants on top of that from what she said about the emotional driving i have a feeling she has an unreasonable fear of the world outside of the house and either thinks the opie could be killed in an accident at any moment or that he will leave her if she lets him out of her sight for too long she gets that from being stuck on her mummy's tit still and from her mom babying her still [Music] you

Channel: XO

Views: 119,404

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil

Id: aoLglg_34x0

Length: 16min 42sec (1002 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 29 2021