I MOVED TO GEORGIA....long overdue Q&A

hey guys so many people over the years have told me that my intro makes me sound like I'm guilty of something like I'm like hey guys and funny enough that's usually the case I'm usually guilty of not posting it has been so long and I have so much to tell you guys that I don't even know where to start I wanted to make this video Q&A style but it's really informal the only reason I'm doing a Q&A I don't know why I'm putting it in quotes it is a Q&A but the only reason why I'm making it one is because I wanted to make sure that I answer every single thing you guys want to know about what's going on in my life right now it's been too [ __ ] long for me to just come on here and not answer every question you have so that's why I went on Instagram and I asked you guys to ask me anything and I got a lot of questions because surprise I moved to Georgia what the [ __ ] is my life honestly honestly honestly you know that tik-tok that it's like what's wrong with you what's wrong with you what's wrong with you what's wrong with you what's wrong with you that's my [ __ ] life my [ __ ] life bro but anyway I moved to Georgia there's so much that has changed and I just need to talk to you guys about it anyway let me just go on to my Instagram story that I posted like a [ __ ] week ago and see what questions you guys had because most of the stuff that I want to update you guys on like you already asked me so let's just do it that way I'm gonna start with the most asked question which is [ __ ] why the [ __ ] did you move to Georgia for those of you that have followed me for the entire time that I've been on the internet you're you're just over it at this point you're like okay the [ __ ] moves every year we get it but even then a lot of you are like but Georgia like what what and it's kind of a long story especially like it's a long story as to why I had to move during the pandemic like why I had to move right now I actually moved to Georgia on March 27th but basically the reason why I had to move was my lease was up in LA originally when we knew our lease was up we were looking for places in California we were like we're gonna stay in Los Angeles we love it here we had health insurance in California and it was so expensive because health insurance in general is expensive like out of pocket but not only was it expensive I could not find decent care for anything not a good gynecologist that took my insurance not a good speech therapist for no one I took our insurance when I couldn't find a good speech therapist for NOLA I lost my [ __ ] believe me I do realize that I'm going off on a tangent but it all circles back to why we moved to Joe I swear so just hang in there when we were in Miami for Christmas we stayed there for a whole month and we had one of my little brothers old therapist who's an occupational therapist coming to the house and doing therapy would know all while we were on vacation so that he didn't like fall off and he clicked with her like you cannot even imagine he started doing animal noises he started communicating I was like what the [ __ ] she did three sessions with him and he was progressing like crazy and then we went back to LA and he completely regressed so once that all started happening mind you this is still before all the crazy [ __ ] in the world that's happening right now started happening and I just started getting really frustrated with everything about California I mean I don't want to sound like a hater okay I feel like I hate on Miami sometimes because I have some issues mentally with Miami and I don't want to sound like someone who moves away from a place and then just hates on that place automatically you know what I'm saying but there was a lot of things that started making me think like why am I here and fun fact another tangent I already filmed this video and the reason why I'm doing it again is because I filmed it before I moved here and I think I may include some footage there was a part where I started talking about not being able to find a good speech therapist for Noah and I just started getting so sad I'll show you guys a clip now the fact that I found it in Miami is really heartbreaking for me just because I want the best for my son and I never want to feel like my decisions like being in Los Angeles is gonna affect him so as you can see I almost felt like guilty like I felt like what am i doing in a place that I'm so far away from family that is so expensive I just I didn't know I didn't know what the [ __ ] I was doing and I mean who really knows what they're doing but when it comes to your kid it just feels like you should [ __ ] know like you should [ __ ] know why you're somewhere or that place better benefit your child more than a benefit to you like I didn't want to just be in LA because I liked it there but at that point you know a couple months ago I wasn't enjoying LA I didn't have a babysitter my brother would watch the baby once a month once every two months for us to go on a date night and we never did [ __ ] I wouldn't even leave my house for eight days at a time okay like I just started living a life was like I never leave my house and we're paying so much money to not do [ __ ] back in the day when we lived in LA we were paying a lot of money but I was out of my house all the time I was experiencing things I was visiting friends I mean this time that I lived in LA I saw Lily like 4 times so that was the start of that realization but there was a lot that came with that and one of the main things was like okay where the [ __ ] do I go now immediately my mind jumped to Miami because I was like okay that makes most sense I'm from there like I should just go live there and I have my mom there you know she could help me with a baby and it just kind of made sense but the thought of it made me really really really really really sad again I'm not [ __ ] hating on Miami I love Miami I love my friends in Miami I love the culture I love everything okay I just don't want to live there and I think it comes from like a lot of like things that I have in my head about my childhood or something when I'm in Miami I get really really depressed like what I'm there for a long period of time like if I'm living there so I got really sad at that idea not to mention the fact that my brother Joey who we lived with he lived with us in the house I knew he was gonna stay in LA because he performs in West Hollywood and it just makes sense for him right now you know like this is the place where he's gonna thrive the most but the thought of leaving him [ __ ] killed me murdered my heart and soul that was all in February and then in March the world [ __ ] exploded everything went to [ __ ] in the beginning of March we were looking for a place in Miami to stay and then we started shifting our attention to Georgia which you guys might find really random but is actually not that random my oldest brother so I have four brothers my oldest brother lives here in Georgia in the city that I live in now it honestly happened from one day to another we're just we were looking at places in Miami and then we were looking at places in Georgia and we decided okay the price is definitely right in Georgia [ __ ] that's for sure we can get a beautiful house with way more space for like a thousand dollars less than we're paying right now like you can't beat that we decided that we wanted to live here so we're looking at houses we still think we have quite a bit of time not a lot of time because our lease was up but we felt like we had a decent amount of time to get our [ __ ] together little did we know that was not the case everything started happening so quickly and before we knew it California went on lockdown this was at the point where we had plans I think our flight was for April what was it it was like the beginning of April that we have scheduled a flight to leave and before people come at me obviously I didn't want to fly okay at this time like who the [ __ ] wants to fly right now but I had no choice because we had to leave and not only did we have to leave my son cannot do a two three day drive to Georgia mind you we would have had to stay in hotels who God knows who's been in those rooms we would have had to touch gas pumps and minim restaurants and it would have been way more germy in my opinion than getting on a plane so we just took all the precautions we could with masks we brought alcohol we brought wipes we brought everything to sanitize the area around us and we were just like okay let's just try to [ __ ] book it and then once we get to Georgia will sell quarantine and then take it from there and that's what we did but we didn't leave from LAX we love from Ontario Airport which is like way less people it was a ghost town there was barely anybody on her flight it was basically the worst case scenario but it's something we have to do so anyway we had our flight scheduled for like early April I want to say and then the lockdown was announced and I started breaking down we had nothing packed none of our holes on the wall were patched everything was a [ __ ] mess and they announced a lockdown for California and my dumb ass thought that you couldn't leave the state like I thought that they were gonna put like gates or some [ __ ] I'm not that smart but I had a breakdown because I knew that I couldn't quarantine for months in LA because I had to be out because of my lease and not only that they started running out of everything for my son diapers they said they didn't have and they didn't know when they were gonna get we didn't have four weeks diapers in California thank God I was able to get it once off of Amazon before they sold out completely on Amazon I mean literally I don't know what I would have done they ran out of the food that no one eats and he's super picky I just broke down one day I was like they're running out of everything for Noah what the [ __ ] are we doing here they're locking down the state we need to get the [ __ ] out of here right now so that was when we made the very very crazy decision to be out of California in five days honestly I don't know how it even happened it was the most stressful week of my life and I don't even like to think about it honestly but that is basically what led to us moving to Georgia it was a mixture of we were gonna move here anyway but then we had to expedite it because things we knew that things were gonna get worse and our best-case scenario was getting into a place where we can just quarantine for months and months and months like now they're opening [ __ ] back up in Georgia I'm not [ __ ] going anywhere I'm staying in my house this is my little nest nobody [ __ ] come in here nobody touch me nobody talk to me that's how I always am period but especially right now and now we've just been in our house for over a month now we moved here on March 27th and we're just like staying home and doing what I think we should be doing right now that's basically what happened that's why we're here hello I am a Georgian now I really like it here honestly it's very calm my neighborhood is so cute there's so much nature here I mean I don't want to sound dramatic but literally the air is different like I feel like I can take a deep breath and it just feels so much different than LA is that really weird I mean I know it's very polluted over there but like I've never been around this much nature and it's so beautiful the schools in this area are great which is something I'm obviously happy about for Noah and before I moved here I checked the speech therapy centers and the reasonably-priced amazing reviews I cannot wait to get Noah back into speech therapy and everything that I know he needs but right now I'm not gonna risk his life or life or anybody's life by taking him but yeah I'm happy honestly for now you know me oh hi stranger my mind let me move on to the next question because I just went on her so [ __ ] long but it was a long story I couldn't help it okay the next most asked question was like where the [ __ ] have you been [ __ ] like seriously where the [ __ ] have you been and there was even people that asked that kind of in the form of like what do you do like how do you make money you don't post like I get it listen I get it I feel like I've said this a million times but maybe people don't know or maybe you think that I do that like part time but I'm a video editor so that's what I'm doing mostly like most of the time I'll get maybe a day or two off during the week but the rest of the time I'm just editing all [ __ ] day and that's honestly why so much time passes and I don't even realize it like I realize I haven't posted but it passes so fast because I'm just working working working working I'm like [ __ ] I haven't [ __ ] post it and the thing is too is like filming for me is no problem okay I'm sitting in front of a camera I get an easy job no problemo but then the editing part comes in okay I have to edit this video obviously for it to come to your screen right now and the only problem with that is that I've been looking at a [ __ ] screen editing videos for like a million hours this entire week and the last thing I want to do is look at my stupid face and hear my stupid voice and edit it it's like a masseuse okay you know a masseuse goes to work your massage and all day every day love this was the career I chose great time wonderful but then you go home and your husband says hey can I get a massage my back [ __ ] hurts and you're like literally go eat a dick that's how I feel when I said time to edit I'm just like [ __ ] you you stupid [ __ ] the stupid [ __ ] being myself my face my stupid face that I have to look at not to mention okay I have problems I definitely definitely have some problems and while I'm editing I'm telling myself you are so dumb you're not funny everybody's gonna hate this video and then what happens I added it and then when it's ready to go up I have a [ __ ] panic attack like literally a panic attack when you're watching this right now right now I'm having a panic attack I just freaked out and I'm like this is the video this is the one this is the one that everybody says [ __ ] you Jesse I'm unsubscribing and I don't know why I'm like that I cannot even tell you how many videos I've sat down I have filmed and I just never post because I'm like you dumb [ __ ] nobody cares it's fun being me it's basically what I'm trying to say so yeah I hope that explains why I've been gone but I do have to say there is never a moment that I don't post and I don't feel like [ __ ] about it did that sentence make sense you know what I mean like there's never a time where I go a long period without posting and I feel fine and I'm like a [ __ ] it yeah I don't need a post I always feel anxious I always feel like [ __ ] I really really really want a post and then I have the whole battle inside me it's just a [ __ ] journey but this this is something I will do forever even when nobody's watching I don't think I'll ever be able to stop posting videos it's something that I just feel connected to like I feel like I have to do it I know that sounds stupid because I never [ __ ] post so you would think that I wouldn't care about posting but I genuinely do and when I do it makes me feel so good and I feel so connected to you guys it's a really big struggle that I have internally but it's something that I definitely want to conquer like eventually I think I've run out of ideas too and then I start feeling really low about that and I'm like what the [ __ ] do I even post and then I ask you guys you're like post anything and I'm like that doesn't help and it's just a journey it's just the horrible treacherous horrendous unfortunate journey that I'm on so anyway yeah that's why I've been gone I hope that explains that let's move on to the next question okay so some people are asking about Gabby and listen let this be the last time I address any of this but to answer the most asked questions no she did not reach out to me we have not spoken at all since my video we have not made any contact and I did not expect that at all from her like I didn't expect her to respond to me privately especially because I made it public like I came out publicly so I did not expect like a private anything no private conversation whatever and as far as the conclusion of all of that like the conclusion of where everything stands honestly for me that video was my conclusion and I do not regret posting it I had the worst anxiety I have ever had in my life the week that I posted that video I wanted to throw up every day I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat I was on another level of anxiety because that is so not what I do like that is so not what I feel comfortable with I don't confront a waiter if someone spits in my [ __ ] food if I see them spend my [ __ ] food I want to say nothing I have issues with confrontation so that was like a huge deal for me but I think what most people don't realize like I feel like a lot of people questioned my intentions when I made that video and that's fine I tried to explain it I feel like I did in the video but like basically that was my boiling point that was not me trying to get Klout I mean [ __ ] I never posed how many times not have to say that I don't care about Klout I don't care about anything like that like I literally didn't know what else to do it had been years of things piling up on each other and me not standing up for myself in a way that I felt justified myself like that gave me what I deserve which is to stand in my [ __ ] place and be like no this is the how you treat me so that was not an isolated incident that I was like ooh let me take it to the Internet see what happens no that was the last piece of turd on the pile of [ __ ] that had been piling up for years so yeah that video was the conclusion that's it no more I don't know how she feels about it cuz like I said we haven't spoken but it's none of my business to know how she feels I did not do that video for her I did that video for myself and to set a clear boundary on how to treat me and how not to treat me and what I will tolerate and what I will not tolerate and I feel like that's something that people should feel more comfortable and themselves doing not everybody obviously has to do it on a public domain that's my last resort that was after many years of trying to solve things privately and getting just stepped all over and I was like okay never again and I think it worked you know I feel like the situation is diffused as much as it can be but anyway you know that chapters closed there's really no reason I need to ever bring this topic up on my channel again and that's the answer to those questions a lot of people are asking if we want to have more kids and the answer is yes I would like to have more kids and so would not seem we actually wanted to have more kids now but with everything going on in the world we've decided to delay that indefinitely until we both feel it's an appropriate time to have another baby if there is another appropriate time we're perfectly happy with Noah of course but yeah I can't even lie Noah's getting so [ __ ] big he's turning 3 in August can you believe that and there's something about watching your kid get older that makes you want to pop out another one I feel like it didn't update you guys specifically on Noah's speech and I don't know I get a little nervous I'm not gonna lie when I posted a life slash baby update like a million years ago where I basically announced that Noah was having issues with his speech I got some pretty horrendous comments and for a while I decided that I was not gonna share Noah with you guys anymore and it really hurt me to do that like I feel like there's so many of you the majority of you like love him and feel like oh my god we were here when you announced you were pregnant and it's this whole thing where you do feel this like love for him which is amazing and beautiful and I love that but there's something about when people talk [ __ ] about your kid where you're just like you're never gonna [ __ ] and see his face again [ __ ] just don't [ __ ] talk about my kid like that but anyway okay so here's the thing a lot of people suggested in our video that Noah had autism multiple therapists and doctors told me he's not autistic he's developmentally is typical his speech is just delayed he's turning 3 like I said so he's doing all the normal toddler things which is sometimes very irritating and very difficult and he communicates with us in his own way you know he does sign for more more and he imitates us to a certain extent like now he started instead of saying come come like he'll go like when he's like trying to get us to grab his hand and come with him he also will grab his shoes and take him to you and be like oh and try to like stay out but he doesn't really know how so he tries his best but he's really really great with nonverbal communication you know taking you to exactly what he wants the reason why I started sharing Noah again and why I wanted to talk about him in this you know update is because I realized that 99.999% of you guys are amazing and you love him and you want him to progress and you want to see him grow and you want like I love that so you know what but the people who want to tell me some [ __ ] it's still gonna hurt I may go off on a couple people I'm only human but I'm not gonna allow that to stop me from sharing him with people who genuinely love him and I've been here since he wasn't my [ __ ] belly and let me add to that that a lot of you guys had amazing suggestions and I don't want it to sound like I won't take advice for my son like a lot of you guys gave me really good advice that I took to heart especially for people who have kids with speech delays and [ __ ] like I'm always open to learning from people I don't want it to come off wrong what I said so anyway that's the update on Noah I feel like I filled you in on everything we're all doing really good we're really happy here I feel like Noah know was obsessed with nature he's obsessed with water first and then nature second like dirt and grass and [ __ ] and he just loves it here so it makes me really happy I mean literally in LA my dog had to [ __ ] on mulch okay there was not even grass outside it was just mulch and here there's grass everywhere there's trees everywhere you could smell it so yeah that's the update I feel like I've been getting weird really fast someone said they miss old drunk Jessie [ __ ] she is still [ __ ] here I got a case of white cloth in the fridge and I'm not afraid to use them I actually do want to get drunk with you guys soon I want to sit down and just get [ __ ] up I didn't think of an idea obviously an excuse to film but I really just want to like drink and sit down and do an old-style video with you guys I know I have some story times up my sleeve I just have to sit down and think about them because [ __ ] does happen in my life okay crazy [ __ ] happens in my life I guess I'm just out of the loop now like back in the day once thing what happened my brain would go straight to like okay sit down and film it like right now but I've been out of that mindset for so long that [ __ ] happens now and I'm just like whoa that was crazy so I'm gonna sit down and like write [ __ ] down for like story times but also I just want to get [ __ ] up with you guys on camera because old drunk Jessie she's here I just don't film her there are a lot of things that changed about me when I had a kid but honestly not that many things once I had a kid and once you just grow up in general there's a lot of responsibilities and growing up that you have to do but like deep down inside and for the most part I'm still the same person I've always been I don't want you guys to think like I'm gone I'm right here okay will you ever make a podcast I'd love to listen well thank you very much please do not tell my husband that because he has been trying to nag me to do a podcast with him forever and I'm like babe nobody wants to hear us on a podcast is all we're gonna do is [ __ ] fight me and the scene when we get on any topic we don't feel the same way about it we're always like no you're wrong no sorry you're wrong and I'm like why the [ __ ] will we do a podcast where we're just telling each other you're wrong but my husband is dying to do a podcast I feel like maybe one day we'll do it when I can get my [ __ ] together if no one gets into day care like eventually we'll have so much more time to do things like yeah it's only a couple hours a day but when you have a kid like a couple hours without your kid is like a long time you feel like you can do anything and so maybe in the future we'll do a podcast I just feel like well the folks gonna listen to me Masum talking [ __ ] I live in Georgia can we be friends yes anybody who lives in Georgia as soon as this quarantine is over hit me up I need friends I am lonely please I'm serious I'm not I'm not joking sometimes I get tweets and they're like I wish we could be friends and I'm like [ __ ] we could be friends what's the problem I don't know how many people know this I feel like I mention it in a couple videos but one of my best friends Leslie we met at a meet-up because she came to meet me and I was like yo you're kind of low-key cool and she was like you got a nokie cool too and then we became best friends so anybody who wants to be friends yes let's be friends when quarantine is over I'm down what are your thoughts on tick-tock I okay I was the biggest [ __ ] tick-tock hater and then I down and I got super addicted to it and then it took a long time for me to actually make a tick-tock because I was like no I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna give in there's no way I'm gonna do tick-tock because the crowd ontic talk to me reminds me a lot of vine like the comments that people get can sometimes be really really hurtful like vine was and not gonna lie I do carry some trauma from all the hate that I endured on buying like all the comments that I had to get for so long and how many people just [ __ ] despise me on that app like I carry a lot of that with me so I was really nervous to get on tik-tok but honestly I love it I think it is the most addicting like setup even more than buying I feel like I can scroll for hours and hours and hours and hours and not even know what the [ __ ] happened I don't know I love it I [ __ ] love tick-tock and unfortunately I am addicted ok so I feel like I've been talking for a long time and I'm still scrolling on the questions and I don't see anything new a lot of the questions are already the ones that I answered so if you have any other questions feel free to ask them in the comments and I will answer as many as I can but yeah I feel like I accomplished the main goal of this video which was just like I don't know just to let you guys know what's going on in my life and to just feel connected to you guys again because I really really [ __ ] missed you thank you guys so much for clicking on this video for giving me chance after chance after chance after chance thank you so much for watching please subscribe if you haven't and I will see you very very very very soon bye

Channel: JessiSmiles

Views: 457,776

Keywords: vine, vines, funny vines, best vines, vine app, jessi smiles, funny vine videos, funny videos, jessi smiles move, q&a, life update

Id: X3nGuQNFJ8U

Length: 22min 10sec (1330 seconds)

Published: Sun May 10 2020