I Just Want To Spend Money and Struggle With Budgeting!

[Music] david is in albuquerque hi david welcome to the ramsey show hey dave thanks so much for taking my call sure what's up so my fiance and i we've both been blessed uh parents that espouse the same principles that you teach every day um both of our parents grew up because my dad would say uh didn't make enough money to be poor and so when we grew up we grew up very frugal so now that my fiance and i have graduated college and don't have any student loans or anything like that we know what works but emotionally we sort of have this itch to get some of the things that some of the finer things that we didn't have growing up so we know what to do mentally but our our emotions are kind of you know bringing us to the mercedes-benz website and looking at brand new cars so what's your advice as far as getting uh ourselves to motivate each other to stay focused on that same path that our parents were on how old are you guys uh i'm 30 and my fiance is 25. when you're getting married september 18th congratulations that's wonderful thank you well um the bible says where there is no vision the people perish would you agree with me that spending money that you don't have and get yourself deeply in debt so that you're broke would be a dumb idea absolutely okay so to have a vision to not do that would be a smart idea so we need a vision for how we want our lives to look and then is the act are the actions that we're taking congruent with how we want our life to look and so buying a car you can't afford on payments is not going to give you the life that you desire so what steps what things are do i avoid and what things do i do that gives me the life that i want that's a vision does that make sense and so you know let me let me kind of paint it out in other words you say okay we're 30 uh and 25 when you're 40 i want to be an everyday baby steps millionaire i want to have x number of dollars in my 401k i want to be able to go on some nice trips i want to be able to buy uh pay for dinner at a nice restaurant uh and i want to have an emergency fund in place and i don't want to have any debt if you lay those things out and say that's my 10-year goal then when you get ready to do something you say is this adding to the goal or taking away from the goal right but if you just wander around in our society you will end up buying crap you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you don't really like if you don't have a plan right right and again it's more of an emotional thing because again you know what both of our parents are doing very well and we see the fruits of that but again you know we just we just feel sort of this urge to get there a little bit quicker than we know it's going to take adults devise a plan and follow it children do what feels good yeah and you've mentioned the word emotional twice and and so what dave's trying to help you see is big picture see your mom and dad struggled mightily you said yourself when you grew up they had nothing and you asked about motivation what dave just laid out for you david i want to make sure you caught what he said okay you got to have a vision for a future and that'll take care of the motivation so he was he was describing your where and your why where do you want to end up why do you want to end up there that's what he's laying out for you when you get clear on that then the motivation to sacrifice to withhold what do you make is there how much do you make uh combined we make about 140 000. okay goodness yeah okay so if you had an emergency fund and you had no debt and you were buying your home you don't know 15-year fix and you were paying it off and you were saving towards retirement and you wanted to spend 250 to go out to eat one night you could do that easily in a really nice nice restaurant couldn't you yes sir okay so i'm not prescribing that you have no life i'm prescribing you have a life of intentionality not impulse and so if you act like a child you're going to act like most people and operate on impulse but sharon and i do all kinds of really nice things david and it's not because i make a lot of money although i do it's because i make a lot of money and every one of those dollars has a freaking assignment sometimes the assignment is generosity sometimes the assignment is dave wants to have some fun or sharon wants to have some fun sometimes the assignment is uh future investing uh and but every you know it's all just on a plan and uh you know you can have a wonderful life meanwhile building a wonderful life yeah but again dave the key word you just said there was plan you got a plan that informs the name on every dollar and people want to know oh i can't get motivated i can't get motivated well let me tell you something you're not motivated because you don't have a very clear goal a clear direction motive motive motive is the root word there you gotta really lock in on that so what's that desired future when you both get really clear on that then we can go oh okay i know i really want a new mercedes but that's not going to get me where i want to go and so you're motivated to sacrifice you're motivated to be when i get there i'll buy a new mercedes yes but that's right there is the key point yeah i mean but right now i don't need to even be on the website because it just disturbs my brain that's another good point dave if i stare at you know website you don't need to go to bars right but i don't need to be looking at 5 million homes all day long because if i do i'll start to develop an appetite for that but i can't do it not not today so that next book you might there you go you know but that's a really good point so hey rachel's new book know yourself know your money talks about talks about your family that you grew up in and how it affects these decisions and you kind of mentioned that a little bit i'm going to send you a copy of that and we have a fabulous know yourself money assessment for couples and you guys i'm going to give you one of those as well i'm going to sign you up for that and uh you guys take that as part of your pre-marriage counseling it'll print out this fabulous thing showing everything your fiance thinks about money the way they're going at this and the way you're going at it and i think it'll add a lot of value to this discussion for you because i think what's happening is is that about the time one of you uh is being wise and mature the other one's not and then you swap places and uh you gotta both get on the plan and just go look wisdom and maturity does not mean no fun yeah it means higher quality fun it's a really good point i'm wondering dave if this sweet young couple they watch their parents struggle and sacrifice and now they're good but he said something in the conversation he said we want to get there faster i wonder if there's a little bit of fear that oh i don't want to live it out as long as my mama did we want to get there we want to do better than mom and dad i wonder if that's driving some of this yeah you see that with young people with this you blink you're there isn't that the truth you blink you're there it's not it's you're going to have plenty and you know and all along yeah at different stages with different incomes and different net worths and different levels of investing and different levels of generosity sharon and i have had the ability to enjoy money all along yeah but you don't you know if you're making fifty thousand dollars he's making 140 000 you don't go buy a uh a 12 million dollar house you know and so there's no sense on being on the website there's no sense watching the tv shows about 12 million dollar housing isn't doing good no it doesn't doing good it's it's counterproductive to what your goal is now you may be in a place someday that you have a house like that but not right now yeah this is the ramsey show

Channel: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Views: 102,102

Keywords: the dave ramsey show, budget money debt cash, real estate, insurance, how to make money, dave ramsey, save, credit card, compound interest, buying house, buy, snowball

Id: gonjQzhAm8o

Length: 8min 28sec (508 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 21 2021