A good disguise is hard to find. I mean that both literally
and metaphorically. (suspenseful instrumental music) MI6 agents often wear disguises to escape life threatening situations. Today I'm going to be
trained by an MI6 agent on how to wear a practical disguise. Apparently, sneaking around
the city wearing a couch is both impractical and
something a (bleeping) would do. Now, I've become a love seat. (dramatic instrumental music) What experience do you have working for the British government? 25 years in the British Army, five of which were in
the Special Air Service, and 18 years in Manchester's
Secret Intelligence Service. Your book says that you've been arrested. You are clearly not in jail right now. WTF? I was arrested for murder, which I was subsequently
clear of, and released. I was arrested for diamond
smuggling in Sierra Leone, which I have not been cleared of. I managed to escape from Sierra Leone. What does an MI6 agent do? I was trained in a number of skills. I was a very well-trained
helicopter pilot, unarmed combat, trained free-fall parachutist, infiltration and exfiltration into hostile territory, embark, disembark from submarines. Surveillance, anti-surveillance, and counter-surveillance. Improvise disguises. Not long-term disguises, but be able to change your disguise very quickly, so we could lose a surveillance team. So, now I'm going to ask you a favor. I need your help disappearing. Will you take me under
your wing and train me and treat me like a son and
give me all of your skills, so that I can escape
a private investigator who's following me? It's not gonna be easy, but we'll certainly give it our best shot. For today's challenge I'm
going to learn lessons from this MI6 agent and try using them to escape a private investigator. I'm going to follow your
strategy suggestions. If your strategy is successful, and I do a great job of listening to you and wearing a disguise, I would like you to write
a letter of recommendation for me to work at MI6. OK. If your strategy does not
work, I will punish you. I will make you write a 30 second song in a musical genre you do not like and then we will record a music video of you performing it. There's only one genre I hate. Country and western. Is it too slow for you? No, it's just the pathetic lyrics involved. (eerie atmospheric music) What do you think my
chances of success are? 90% that you're gonna succeed. I think I'm 100% going to succeed. OK, nothing better. Let's go for it. Great. OK.
Thank you. For the next two hours, the MI6 agent will take me under his wing and train me. I know everyone hates
school, so I won't bore you with two hours of me learning (bleeping). Instead, I'll show you a
three second training montage. What you're wearing. We just turn. Yep, too much color. I wish high school was only
three seconds of learning. Am I right? No one is in the room with me. In all honesty, I'll show
the relevant highlights of my MI6 training later,
when it's necessary. Right now it's time to meet
the private investigator I'm challenging today. How many years have to been
a private investigator? I've been a private investigator
for nearly 20 years now. What does a private investigator do? A private investigator can do many things. I specialize in surveillance. When people ask you
what your profession is, do you say, I'm a sneaky boy? No. Now I'm going to challenge you. (eerie atmospheric music) Very intense. I'm going to give you
30 minutes to follow me. At the end of those 30
minutes, if you see me, you can touch me and I
will fall to the ground. OK. If at the end of these
30 minutes, you win, I will give you my respect. I don't need your respect. If I win this challenge, I will punish you by making you watch me
eat a bowl of cereal. What kind of cereal? Cinnamon Toast Crunch, baby. Oh. Ken, I wish you the best of luck. Thank you. - [Mike Voiceover] Here are the
rules for today's challenge. Mike has 30 minutes to escape from the private investigator. Mike cannot run away
or enter any vehicles. After 30 minutes, Mike will stand still. If the investigator
touches him, Mike loses and he will shatter like ice. (dramatic orchestral music) The challenge begins in three, two, one. (suspenseful orchestral music) Once the timer begins, I follow the MI6 agent's
instructions perfectly. Never look down, because he will then know that you're up to something. - [Mike Voiceover] If
someone following me sees that I know someone is following me, they might speed up
plans to choke me dead. It's best to assume that
everyone is following you and go about your business
like it's a normal day. What I'm trying to do is just give him enough space,
where he's comfortable, but yet also uncomfortable as well. He's crossing the street, walking normal like no signs of letting on to me. I could see Mike, but I don't think he could see me. He's got the green light, so I'm gonna go. - [Mike Voiceover] I march
up a long flight of stairs, and enter a building
with unique architecture. So I've already lost sight of Mike. I feel what I need to do now is make sure I can get around. What have I entered? This building happens to be my alma mater, Emerson College. I emailed school officials two days ago with an urgent request
to use their bathrooms. They must have thought I was
another one of those kids who graduate college and
then can't find toilets. Thankfully, the Emerson security guards let me in to their private restrooms. I start taking my clothes off in preparation for my disguise. If you look closely, you can see that my arms and legs have no hair on them. The night before this
challenge, I spent two hours shaving myself. Did I want silky smooth skin so I would finally feel sexy for once in my life? No sir-ee. The reason I did this is going to be revealed to you eventually. Be patient and grab a licorice. - [Ken] Hey guys. Could we get access to the third floor? Okay. - [Mike Voiceover] As I change
into my top secret disguise, I can't help but remember
what the MI6 agent taught me about speed. The art of disguise for
avoiding surveillance is that it's got to be done quickly. Maximum, five minutes. - [Mike Voiceover] Five minutes
should be plenty of time to change my appearance, right? Wrong. Since I was a teenager, I've had extremely sensitive skin. I'm not the Lebron James
of shaving my face, and by that, I mean I
accidentally cut myself shaving all the (bleeping) time. So now that I know security's watching us, I know he's not in the
building like screwing around. So that really only
leads him to one option, was he slipped out while I was on the other side of the stairs, and he slipped out the elevator, or he waited for me to walk around. If I do terrible razor work and leave blood dripping down my face, the private investigator
will spot me immediately. My sensitive skin could be my downfall in escaping this private investigator, as well as why I never had
a girlfriend until recently. Seven minutes in and I'm
only about 74% done shaving. There's a lot more steps to my disguise, so I have to abandon the shave. I can't waste more time. I'll never look as smooth as Pitbull. The singer, not the dog breed. The surveillant will be
focusing on your colors, your size, your general shape, your demeanor and your gait. So, you change as much
of that as possible. (dramatic instrumental music) (moves into suspenseful piano music) All my thoughts lead me to believe that chances are he is in here. I put on a lovely dress
and look at the time. My transformation has taken
more than 10 minutes now. This is (bleeping) embarrassing. I don't want to disappoint
the MI6 agent today like I disappointed
everyone else in my life. The MI6 agent suggested I disguise myself as a pregnant woman. (charging orchestral music) Before I leave the building, I remember another lesson from the MI6 agent. Change your gait as you're walking along. - [Mike Voiceover] The MI6
agent suggested I alter my normal walk for a
drastically different gait. I showed him a special skill I learned back in high school. I call this the crab walk
and he calls me an idiot. Then he teaches me a more
realistic walking style I should use. Right, left, right. That's the way. Pretending to be
pregnant, and even harder, happy, I start climbing down the stairs of the building. It's time to see if the
private investigator spots me. (suspenseful instrumental music) Will the investigator believe I'm a real happy go lucky pregnant woman? Will he see my pathetic shaving job, rip my dress off and tackle me? Will he get jealous of
how good I look and decide to get pregnant himself? One glaring mistake I made while rushing to put this disguise on is that I forgot to zip up the back of my dress. My bra straps and lower back are exposed, like I'm a flirty, pregnant
stripper named Diamonds. So, I'm about two blocks
away from where we started. (moves into dramatic electronic music) Victory belongs to Mike. Because I'm not a
monster, I decide to show the private investigator how I escaped. (upbeat rock music) Ken, you can look at me. (laughing) I was a pregnant woman. I wasn't really paying attention to the woman crossing the street. I won, so I'm going to punish you by making you watch me eat cereal. (cereal crunching) This is a good box. I decided to do a little
pre workup of my own. Instead of watching you for the half hour to two hours, I watched you for 12 hours. I've got you heading
out to a little lunch. Was this on Saturday? - [Ken] It was Saturday. - [Mike] You followed me (mumbling). You went into the market. I really couldn't figure
out what you bought, 'cause I was a couple steps behind you. Wow. I call the MI6 agent who trained me to tell him the wonderful news. Your plan worked perfectly. Oh, well done my son. I told you we could do it. To Mr. Alexander Junder, CMG, MI6 Headquarters, London, England. Dear Alex, recommendation for employment. My good friend Mike Carrier. The next time you see me, I might be working for
the British government. Oh, and one more thing. The MI6 agent gave me permission to release the song he wrote. I hope you enjoy his music video. Okay, so this is a little song that my poppy told me when I was no higher than
the raccoons (bleeping). ♪ Met a girl, she was a beauty ♪ ♪ And she came from Tennessee ♪ ♪ Stole my heart when she laid beside me ♪ ♪ She gave to me an STD ♪ ♪ 15 years we've been together ♪ ♪ Plowed the fields ♪ ♪ And battled with our foes ♪ ♪ You're leaving now,
and all I'm left with ♪ ♪ 14 kids, one leg and a busted nose ♪ ♪ Billy Joe, I love your body ♪ ♪ Tattooed skin from head to toe ♪ ♪ The works of Shakespeare
cross your backside ♪ ♪ And I'll be left with nothing ♪ ♪ To read if you should go ♪ ♪ Yee-haw ♪
