Hypochondriacs: I Told You I Was Ill! Therapy Retreat For Those With Health Anxiety

[Music] foreign [Music] a group of patients who believe they are seriously ill cancer I'm gonna get it HIV there could be some blood on my finger heart disease paralysis I am not making it up can a unique course of therapy convince them it's all in the mind there's got to be something wrong in there then shut my blood pressure and it was a bit high again Sarah's a hypochondriac constantly fears she's seriously ill [Music] it's an illness in its own right these days doctors prefer to call it health anxiety disorder I'll have a twinge and my whole self will focus on that pain and think it's a blood clot and even though I can laugh myself thinking subsidious not a blood clot I can carry on doing things but inside I'm just a trembling wreck thinking there's like a different voice it's like a split personality like something's in me saying yes it is and I'm so don't be silly hypochondriacs constantly seek reassurance husband Luke gets a familiar call on the way to work you're right are you okay I don't think I'm gonna pass out do you no okay so it's wrong no but it just feels really bad today don't worry about it you'll be okay mid-morning and Sarah's off to see her GP again sick lightheaded would have a brain tumor behind your eye hello sir [Music] she's had brain tumors tumors in her eye she's had a heart attack stroke she's had bowel cancer lung cancer stomach cancer Sarah the worried well are a costly problem for the Health Service taking up an estimated one in four visits to GPS I've had a lot of problems with my eyes again worst case scenario like a tumor by my eye or something 130 over 90. oh that's quite High isn't it no it's fine that will scare me now what but I'm saying that's a normal blood pressure normal upper limit normal and that you haven't got any other problems then I think you maybe have foreign blood pressure you know even though it's normal upper I know that that will be a can of worms and you know she'll be back again I know she'll be back next week yeah due to our blood pressure and just quite high and what's high but it was the highest side of normal what was that 130 over 90. that's all right I thought maybe that's a symptom what heart attack just go to bed early okay yeah so I don't think my eyes are anything to worry about them okay foreign [Music] is also desperate for treatment I'm getting anxious now looking at it her problems began when her father died of cancer now she's convinced she's got it too [Music] I thought I had thyroid cancer lung cancer I'm so scared what happened to dad is going to happen to me his body must have been absolutely filled with all these cancer cells so some of it must have got through to me and so it's just kind of like I think I'm just waiting all the time for it to happen so I may as well die if I'm gonna feel like this anyway I may as well have an illness do you know what I mean really scared inside I am now [Music] when I wake up in the morning I think about HIV and when I go to bed at night I'm thinking about HIV Kevin also needs therapy a blood transfusion has triggered an obsessive fear of the AIDS virus HIV Isles make sure I thoroughly rinse my toothbrush off in case my gums have bled because I don't want to get it on my wife's toothbrush or my daughters which is usually there had three negative AIDS tests but still fears he could infect his wife and child I give it a good rinse off just in case really I've got Cuts or anything on my finger just to make sure that I don't put any blood on there really to pass on to [Music] because there is that minute risk in my mind pretends to rule my thinking I'm scared what people would think that people wouldn't want anything to do with me that I would lose my family my job everything now I think I've got ovarian cancer something like that it's absolutely ridiculous but that's the latest one before leaving for treatment Laura's out for a drink with her long-suffering friends you know I'm worried that I've left it too late like if I have got cancer we feel like broken records because we're constantly telling her you haven't got this there's no amount of reassuring her that helps her there's got to be a reason for a tummy ache it's got to be a reason we just wanted to go out and have fun and not talk about cancer or you know dying or we just want to be normal it's hard I just want to feel normal but health anxiety can be cured with the right therapy [Music] Dr Florian ruths from Top London Psychiatric Hospital the mordsley is piloting a long weekend of treatment [Music] this is the start of a really interesting experiment we're bringing them together here in this place far away from the normal environment their comfort zone normally they're kind of near a hospital near their GPS near relatives and friends that they can seek reassurance with um and none of that will happen for them heart rate monitor the hypochondriacs will live together and undergo a series of challenging behavioral experiments I hope that they will find a way of getting back on track towards a normal life the fourth member of the group is Jane a more complex case for the psychiatrists five years ago she collapsed and ended up in a wheelchair half of me doesn't work and that's that but doctors can't find anything wrong with her legs who is that person who's a general practitioner to say that it's all in my head when they don't even really know me they don't know anything about me has your GP said that to you yes oh yes and I've changed doctors now husband Ian is now her full-time carer it's it just sort of changed everything changed overnight just all happened so quick like you see on Little Britain the character in the wheelchair jump out and sort of why not be like I know she couldn't do anything like that there's just no way I don't think it's all in her mind I think some it's actually gone in our back Jane started therapy at her local hospital but progress is slow have you considered that there could be a psychological factor in your condition I'm not mental there's nothing wrong with me there's nothing wrong with my brain it's just my body my back yes and my legs they suddenly wouldn't work lift stuck pins all the way up my legs but it still doesn't explain your your parenthesis is that right yeah no do you think that Jane will walk again I would like to think that there is a possibility of this but it's very difficult to say at the stage but I think counts in Dane's favor is that she's motivated and she's a lady that is able to engage in therapy if they say to me it's all in my head I personally think staff them because I feel that there's nothing wrong with me [Music] a group of patients who've used up hundreds of hours of GPS time I think it's going to be very very tough for them will therapy deliver the Cure they so desperately need I just think there's a lump there under my plan a group of hypochondriacs have come to this remote country house for a long weekend of intense therapy the psychiatrist is Dr Florian Ruth's a consultant at London's maudsley Hospital [Music] yes pains in here and got heart attack and die takes a pie or something yeah iron tablet you should see me trying to get them in me ah I was convinced I was going to have a panic attack it's horrible now Laura is first in for therapy I just want a doctor to feel that lump there and tell me that that's normal Dr Ruth's will try and challenge her beliefs about her body and cancer I've been getting like pressure in the top of my head something's wrong with me something I don't know two more or something like I do I do sort of think when I got the pressure in my head have I had a stroke through the night is that normal now I've got these twinges in my glands that's one issue but it keeps taking me back to the ovarian cancer thing that maybe this is secondary to that the doctor said to me if there was anything seriously wrong you would really know it and what happened to the pain ever since you have been feeling reassured about it it's gone what's the explanation of the fact that the pain went after the doctor reassured you I think that my mind just makes the pain happen I want the pain to be there and so my mind is making the pain be there and I don't know how but then when my dad was sick he didn't show any sign that he was in pain that you would never have thought he had cancer to the extent that he had it and you know like I say fit and healthy one week to being told you had two months to live the next I just can't get my head around that how are you feeling now with regards to anxiety anxious okay I'm gonna have a panic attack I'm not near a hospital well let's see if we can sort of get through the next few few minutes foreign s now Laura can't accept that her symptoms are caused by anxiety [Music] I just feel bloody awful can't have a panic attack I cannot have one [Music] terrible really what do you say oh the usual which is the big p word bang Jane's psychiatrist from home Dr Lars Hansen will take charge of her therapy if it's too heavy I sort of just say I need five minutes I'm going outside I'm here for it to be happy because I've got to face My Demons all of you I said no way we're gonna get better right how are you doing how are you doing hurting hurting I am yeah and get ready well I'm not sure what I'm doing but we'll find a way through it I'm sure I have not been attending enough children's parties lately Jane stopped walking five years ago Johansson hopes this might change if she overcomes feelings of anger and low self-esteem [Music] the process with balloon therapy can I show you the sofa over here it's full of balloons can you see that yep yeah and what that illustrates is that that all of us we have automatic negative thoughts can you read that aloud for me people do not believe me is that a negative thought that you have yeah yeah I think so can you help me with a few more I'll never walk again that's right do you sometimes feel that it's that is hopeless yeah foreign I think it is possible that she feels so anxious and stressed lets you somehow expresses this through physical symptoms cognitive therapy this it's just condensed common sense if you hold on to the PIN they you now empowered yourself to pop these automatic negative thoughts I am hopeless is that right try to find some counter Arguments for that I'm not totally hope thanks very much for that you're certainly not why not well because I'm a mother yeah I'm a wife and I try to do my best absolutely very strong arguments well done give it what it deserves give this idea what it just says the puppet foreign that won't stop it coming back will it I think you can try and then we'll talk about it afterwards to try and see what it will do pop it good well done beautiful let's take another one are you ready people do not believe me is that your problem or is it very important that's their problem really probably Plum well done free to go goodbye foreign [Music] thinks she's having a heart attack [Applause] anxiety about breathing has made her hyperventilate what do you think is going on now do you think you're stuck in breathing I don't know I just can't get my breath I just feel like I'm gonna pass it and I just feel scared so is it that you're suffering from a serious illness or you're juicing I don't know what it's like okay How likely is it that you're just suddenly gonna have a heart attack when you're just in the middle of a panic at half well I think you can breathe heavily but nothing bad is going to happen it's not a setback I think it's a step ahead that you're able to experience a panic attack without thinking that you're going to have a heart attack yeah do you know what I mean it was a silly there's nothing silly about um finding something out about yourself this is the cemetery of negative thoughts that we've got here what does that make you think I've got so much pent up stuff that I could just go Wallop I just feel like just oh you know ripping something to Pieces Just uh but it's not so unusual if you had all those so all those things it wouldn't build up a lot of frustration wouldn't it and I think you're dealing with it in a really really healthy way now and I'm serious I really think you are this is an investment in your future what you're doing right now after her panic attack Dr Ruth's is challenging Sarah's beliefs about breathing okay so that was 35 seconds so you can't suffocate yourself no you can't self-code yourself and the body will automatically take over what do you notice after a while after about 30 seconds it probably just took a breath you can rely on the fat the body will actually breathe when it needs to breathe have you collapsed before no after seeing her father collapse during his illness Laura's developed a fear of fainting I think it's the thought of people started rushing around if I collapsed in the thought of having an ambulance phone like my dad it was too late for him nothing could be down and I think I'm scared like with if I fainted it means there's going to be an ambulance possible blood test I'm scared of having blood tests I really would like you to find out what happens when somebody collapses what do you mean Well we'd like somebody to collapse what no you don't yes no you don't yes we Laura is off to a local supermarket to experience what really happens if someone faints in a public place [Music] Dr Ruth's will pretend to pass out at the Delhi counter my heart is racing like anything and I thought we was going to do it then I just imagine everyone to just stop what they're doing and rush over those all right yeah Florian Florian Florian someone's coming up today [Music] but that bloke just carrying on with this shopping when I Collapse what did You observe how people reacted that one person looked at you as they walked past they just walked past how many people can actually phoned an ambulance I got pains in my chest how do you explain that I don't know have I induced a heart attack on You by collapsing yesterday how strong we believe that you're having a heart attack now I don't believe in having a heart attack but then the pains I start to think are the Pain's still there no they're going now okay good good excellent but part of my problem is I've lost my trust in doctors I won't believe what they're telling me and I think it is because of like I tell my dad there's nothing wrong just seeing what my dad went through I'm just so scared so scared and just knowing every part of death and just going round and round in my head foreign [Music] Kevin's first therapy session will take place in a public toilet intrigued to know what's what's going to happen really [Music] his fear of the AIDS virus means he's terrified of Blood let's just put it a bit of here and then kind of and Dr Ruth's has planted some fake blood on the toilet and based foreign [Music] what's it worth fear that might happen if it's something that's worse what would would that something be getting infected with HIV okay perhapsing with both hands for then just just touch the lock as well yeah Kevin's encouraged to face up to his fear by wiping his hands around the bloodstained toilet oh okay yeah please yeah we'll just clear down anyway there was something that looked like blood Earth I strongly believe now that you may be infected with HIV I can still see I've got something red on my finger what does that mean um I want to wipe it off I really want to get it off with my hand yeah and what do you think it may mean if you've got it may mean that there could be some blood on my finger yeah I want to get off yeah so if you could perhaps yeah yeah I just really want to get it off my finger really so could you just stay with stay with it for a moment yeah you stay with it for a moment just let it dry perhaps just let it dry off how are you feeling in your in your body and yeah thanks again just sort of mine goes a little and crazy what's your worst fear that might have happened now that I may have got HIV positive blood on my finger yeah okay do you want me to do that okay yeah I don't want to oh yeah okay [Music] I really would like to wash my hands properly yeah [Music] an hour later Kevin finally gets to wash his hands foreign [Music] debriefing the group today for the first time they were all saying I think I'm suffering from anxiety rather than saying I suffer from AIDS or rather than saying I suffer from a heart attack or I've got cancer they said I think my problem is anxiety and obviously that needs a bit of support and needs a bit of reaffirming over the next few days but if they could hold on to that that would be absolutely amazing but tomorrow anxiety levels will be pushed up even further [Music] day two and Laura is struggling to move forward [Music] she's still looking for reassurance that she hasn't got cancer can you check my grand slave place your opinion I've got lymph node cancer if I had the crystal ball and x-ray View and I would be able to answer that question but I can't we could go through a dictionary of of illnesses and you could ask me every single illness well the next one was do you think I've got ovarian cancer same answer would be apply you wouldn't know the answer yourself what would the odds of somebody my age having it you know the answer yourself I don't know the answer is it one and three this is just reassurance seeking my two worries I know I'm gonna get it we've all got uncertainty in our lives that something terrible may happen tomorrow but I feel like it's always happening to me well it never happens to anybody else everybody else lives 220 before they die no no okay but I want 100 certainty you 100 certainty that you won't get cancer and I can't give you that in a way I just want to sit off someone to look into a crystal ball and tell me that I'm going to be fine for the rest of my life and I'll die we're happy and old and no cancer so in order to have that third too that's not going to happen you're already paying with your life [Music] okay Jay what's your fear you you would have to do to bring your anxiety the group is starting to challenge Jane about her disability just not being able to get somewhere that I wanted situation that you can't do something because yeah I can't run walk I do not think back with you if there's a slim chance like obviously um Lars thinks there's a slim chance that you could be able to walk again if you get past anxiety and maybe just maybe there's that slim chance or the doctors the Specialists have told me that's that's it no they haven't quite said that as far as I've understood so they don't know what it is no yeah that's why I went to a second but see this is trouble I'm confused myself that that slight bit of confusion I think it also entails there's some hope you've never had a definitive you cannot possibly walk again have you you've never had that go in right the last not that you can't walk is that they don't know why I can really convince myself that I'm I've got a blood clot I've got I've got lung cancer so if I can convince myself that I am not making it up we don't think you are you know it's not my head we're making it up it's like people say to me pull yourself together yeah you're taking that the wrong way it's not this in your head we're not saying you're mad we're just saying that it's mind is so clever and it makes me so angry that my mind can make me think of having dying and everything but I don't think you're at the point where you can accept that the minds could even trick you um [Music] come on sorry I didn't mean to make you cry please I there's nothing I could do about my legs that's the way I am can't people just leave me alone I think that you do need some help to move forward but just the fact that you're here and engaging in therapy I think is gonna be awesome excited lots I'm tired of it time for an exercise session the next challenge for Sarah so what's your prediction what's going to happen I'm I feel really shaky I'm gonna not be able to breathe and pass out or really hyperventilate Sarah believes that pushing up her heart rate could trigger heart failure she hasn't exercised for five years getting a bit hard now it's hurting me a bit nine I can do this I can do this it's not scary yeah you're addicted at 120 you would go you would call out I haven't run for years 7.1 kilometers an hour I'm really amazed I run I haven't run for years do you have any chest pain no [Laughter] thank you oh my God I'm not frightened to look at it now you know I'm a handsome man ghost very handsome yeah thank you for your inspiration Dr Hansen is preparing another unusual experiment to try and boost Jane's self-esteem this time her therapy will have a circus theme [Music] can you see what this is it's a clown outfit isn't it I would like you to put this on at some stage this afternoon and you and I will go down to ledbury which is a small town joking and you will go up and down the High Street the idea is really is if you can cope with this a lot of a lot of the thoughts that you have about what other people think about you they'll be put more into the background it's horrible but God so much [Music] it makes us stronger these kind of things I I just I don't know I just feel sick [Music] I think her mind is is probably making the symptoms stronger and increasing the weakness in her legs that's my best guess [Music] do you have some sense of achievement now yeah I did it that was really good thing you've done well well done too really good [Music] Laura's state of mind has gone from bad to worse [Music] I'm not convinced it's just the migraine oh my God she's now worried she's got a brain tumor I was Laura she's just got a migraine there's nothing wrong with you know she's just got a migraine she was a bit sick trouble is Laura's too scared to take medication she's got the fear of death if she takes a paracetamol because she fears that although you know millions and millions of people take paracetamol every day she will be the person that develops this one allergic reaction that happens every 10 years High grain and not a brain tumor or something if I had x-ray vision then you know make a comment about that but I can't oh hey I cannot put it in my mouth so [ __ ] annoyed I can't put it in my mouth oh my head I'm gonna tell her I think I'm going to die Kevin's irrational fear of the AIDS virus means he's scared of homosexuals so Dr Ruth has brought him to a gay Pub [Music] one bit scared about him what's behind those curtains the The increased possibility that there may be HIV positive people in there yeah yeah um and you know I'm if uh you know I might touch something or how would you rate your own anxiety levels at this moment of time very high really knows like I made it Kevin fears he could contract the virus by being in the same room as a gay man um please that's great thanks very much it's very kind how would you feel about going to the barn perhaps ordering some more stuff there might be something I touch that someone else has touched that whether may be bleeding or have something on their hands or this is the closest Kevin's ever been to a real live gay man [Music] how Dr ruths wants him to touch the barman's hand I just want to say thank you for letting us do this in here and appreciate your cooperation okay his hand felt a little wet damp when I shook his hand so that's bothering me a lot yeah actually yeah I really would quite like to look at my house what would be your Worth to fear then there's blood on my hand bringing in your rational mind going through the exercise that we went through today I think he's going to take us out for a long walk that's too nice [Music] three and Laura's stop worrying about brain tumors [Music] time to push anxiety levels even higher with a specially designed field trip so what we suggest we could do we we need some some insects are you checking we'll meet some insects I'm not going I can't I can't touch insects I knew you would you say that that's why I was so scared I could think you'd find my nightmare when you have and I don't want to go [Music] so the position would be that you'll be betting what else would be my throat would close up as well attack you you said I can't I can't do that what would other people do in in your position they would go they were good bees but what's the difference between you and and other people but they could recognize it but I can't I don't want to go to bees are you all right with bees at this moment of time 98 I think inside yeah of 100 so that the really maximum anxiety yeah and what do you think will happen if you get stung my throat will close out I have a shock and I'll die oh my God don't worry I'm adored looks this is really really close too do you think it would go a bit closer I don't that's great oh my God so I just wanted to ask you how are you feeling there it's gone down to about 17 now it's going down to about 70. how do you explain that because I'm I'm riding the things and we've persuade you to hold it but will you do it that it's not too long so you're ready to take off okay well that doesn't make you feel proud I'm doing it yes very very good can you take it all right you got it yeah [Laughter] well done as the day progresses the grief at the heart of Laura's problem is finally starting to reveal itself I do blame myself for my dad dying I've always thought stress is the main cause of cancer and I caused my Dad's stress as a teenager and that might have been what triggered his cancer I was there when he died and he just breathed out his last breath and went I just shouted Dad no no he's going he's gone that's it he's gone foreign for seven years he's gone [Music] oh [Music] take it away from him I couldn't and I think that's why I've just um I think I I do just sort of try to imagine how awful it was for my dad I just remember when they took him in and all the like me my mum and my sister and my granddad were there and they he was coming around from having a stroke and they were doing all the tests on him right in front of us and I think that's what why I'm so scared of having blood tests and scans and things done because that was the day when they did a scan on his brain and found two brain tumors I didn't realize this before but I can see it now why have I tried to take on all his pain well that's a good question I don't think I've got the answer for that and the question is are you motivated are you willing to continue to take on that pain or you just would you like to give up some of that I want to give it up and enjoy my life feel normal because I know my dad wouldn't want me to be feeling like this now suffering six years on from it [Music] I hope that he breathe It's the final day of therapy Kevin must now confront his ultimate fear Tom who is gay and HIV positive the big one but as bad as it could be really I suppose without you know sharing intimate relations with somebody while sharing a needle or something you know it's about as bad as it gets I don't know how I'm gonna react to how I'm gonna be I suppose there's a new one way to find out isn't it okay [Music] come in have a seat over here thank you [Music] perfect so we've we've got Kevin here he's still you know has gotten very very powerful beliefs about how absolutely devastating it would be if he ever got infected what's your experience of you know being infected with it 21 years when I was diagnosed in 86 it literally was a death sentence again it gave me two years and now you know since the combination drugs came out in 96 it's very much live the rest of your life as per normal you were worried about cuddling family well yeah it's just you know just I don't know the guilt that I would feel if you know I was killing my little girl and somehow I you know infected her with something else I feel awful this is the first time you've been in a room where the virus is in that room but you know unless I had bleeding hands and shook your bleeding hands yes um it's just not a risk it's not a risk yeah [Music] thank you very much for coming here and um thank you very much Tom pleasure thank you yeah thank you I'm so amazed that you're you know you've heard completed that so I've gone a bit funny now just started shaking this home but I did want to because I feel such a lovely man and I know there's no there's no risk or anything you're playing a lot of my theories out of the water yet again he did it himself he just forwarded he came forward and did it himself and I think I was very brave he took up the spirit of facing his demons facing his worst fears himself Jane will return home in her wheelchair but Dr Hansen is still confident about her future [Music] do you think she'll ever get out of that chair [Music] if indeed it is the mind that's playing a trick I think there is a possibility but I think it will be difficult because there's so much of identity that's bound up in being in the wheelchair but maybe just maybe I can't say it yet because I've only just started with dealing with myself so that was a big milestone in itself so who knows I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow so Lars still believes he'll get out of the chair he can believe what he likes [Music] I hope you pray it's done something Laura has made progress but issues around her father's death will need a lot more work she thinks she's a responsible for his death and you know we're trying to do some work around reframing that for her and explaining to her it's not responsible for otherwise death at all um but I think it brought out a lot of issues perhaps also unresolved grief reaction that she hasn't dealt with so I think she will definitely need further therapy but a long weekend of treatment has brought about big changes for Sarah what have you found out about three Assurance seeking it doesn't work it's very annoying who's it annoying for the other people you look so chilled I mean that's really worked for me I was saying you asked me how anxious I am it's the lowest I've been for months this is the best outcome she could possibly have you know but really finding out none of her fears are actually sort of based in reality that excessive fears that are often brought on by anxiety itself something's clicked on and off for 20 years I'm not live for about 20 years it has been me running from my anxiety you're just popping up in different forms and it will change that sounds really corny but it will change my quality of life if I can accept anxiety you know I know yeah no and I'm so happy since returning home Kevin has stopped obsessing about HIV Jane is continuing with therapy Sarah has stopped visiting the doctors [Music] and three months later Laura has finally made an important step forward it was just knowing too much about health and I suppose because I knew every stage of death and it was just overloading my brain with just so many thoughts and worries and I've stopped going on the internet and it's the best thing I've ever done I do feel bad in a way to say I'm letting my dad go but it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop loving him I've accepted that he's died I've accepted that he's gone I don't need to think about him all the time I've moved on [Music] foreign [Music]

Channel: Only Human

Views: 11,796

Keywords: Dr Florian Ruths, Maudsley Hospital, behavioral therapy, facing fears, fear management, inner strength development, medical phobia, medical reassurance, mental health, mental health awareness, mental health empowerment, obsessive fear, psychological growth, psychological healing, reclaiming health, remote therapy, self-care journey, terminal illness fear, therapeutic exercises, wellness empowerment

Id: ArTjr2Mq33E

Length: 48min 2sec (2882 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 20 2022