How to Talk to Someone With Dementia

I do consider myself a dementia expert now what is an expert an expert is someone who knows what they know they have an idea of what they don't know but have an idea where to find it it certainly doesn't mean I know everything never ever ever but I can ask the right questions or try to ask the right questions my interest in memory loss has been around for quite a while but I really got involved in what I'm doing when I screwed everything up with my mom okay it's easy to teach this stuff but when you're actually doing it it's tougher than one would think I think it's easy to talk about it but when it's you that's dealing with it what I found the hardest thing for me to do was to not try to drag mom into my reality but go live where she was living in her understanding so because I messed everything up I then wrote a book and the book is really for families and it's about how can we have you capture the neat things to talk about with your loved one so that we don't maybe fall into some of the traps and we're gonna talk a little bit about the traps okay the first issue is really that memory loss in our country I believe is it an epidemic proportion and as I talk to you I'm not necessary I don't know about your own personal family members if they have dementia or not that's not important but I got a captive audience who know other people and so anybody that I can get on the team to help other people you know so I've got one more step for you and that's to maybe work with folks in your church or in your neighborhood or that kind of thing problem we've got is we look at dementia as the elephant I'd look at dementia as the elephant in the room it's absolutely at epidemic proportions in our country but because we can't fix it you remember in the old days when people had cancer we whispered remember that we'd call it the pixie we we were scared because we couldn't fix it well now we were laughing the other day you turn on the TV and we got ads for the drugs you can get if the chemos bothering you too much I mean you know it's changed drastically because cancer is even though it hits different areas it's a cell or cells that go goofy and so I can figure out what to do our problem with memory loss is there's not one reason there's over 100 so I can't identify now we call a lot of the memory loss we call it Alzheimer's and I'll tell you why there's no other built there was no other billing code so if a physician saw your loved one and there were some memory problems they tagged it Alzheimer's so they could get paid now they've got a new one called mild cognitive impairment so now they have to so you're gonna start to see more and more of that popping up and I'm not I'm not being negative of the physicians we don't know we just don't know and so I understand they need to be paid but what's happened is we've gotten kind of this skewed view that it's all Alzheimer's I don't really much care to be totally honest with you what the problem is unless you're a researcher now some of you are researchers that's a different story but very simplistically I fail there's three kinds of memories in are we each of a has this first one is what we call functional memories this is the reasoning this is the comprehension this is conscious this is the first kind that we see kind of decline for us alrighty this is how do I get from here to the grocery store in home this is how do I make the microwave work does that make sense it's those kind of how do i do the checkbook it's the comprehension cognition and those that's usually the first place where we'll see it you know one of the places I don't if I told you this I mean one of the places where I see I think which I like research I'd research at you research it if she likes research um is I think restaurants are one of the first places we can kind of get a clue maybe we've got a little problem because we're all sitting here we've all got our menu and I'm having some memory problems and so we're all sitting here and we're all leafing through the menus you guys have cracker barrels when they have it Bob Evans they have 50 thousand things on the menu TGI Fridays I mean they've got so many and so we're all sitting here and we're all sitting here and you're saying or she said she's gonna have what what and somebody turns to me and they said what are you gonna have and I go I don't know because it's I can't deal with it so I wait until one of you deciding I go I'll have that too now when I do that it's because I'll eat anything okay so and and I like to talk too much to take time to read the menu so if it's me that's that but I wonder I wonder question mark does that help us cuz that's this okay the second kind of memory is procedural automatics automatic memories these are there's really no conscious control this is eating driving and riding a bike anything I've learned to do I can continue to do the first one that leaves begins to move away is that comprehension one this is the second guy that kind of gets himself going and in case you have a friend who's dealing with probably the toughest issue when folks are still at home and that's driving okay I'll give you a little piece of advice when you're talking to someone who has memory loss and because of the cognitive problems the comprehension problems it's scary that they're driving anymore okay I'd be a little careful we never do we want to say to them you can't drive anymore because let's think through that I can still drive I can still do the procedural piece and the minute you tell me I can't do this I get fussy with you so what you what I recommend you say is I know you can still drive that's not even the question but you know what happened the other day I was out on for 10 and this car cut me off I had to make a split-second decision it was really scary and many times though I'm having a little trouble with those decisions too does that make sense the issue isn't the mechanical driving it's the comprehension kind of stuff and many times that works a little bit better then you can't drive anymore so I really think we need to like not say that because it's it's confrontational because I can I know how to use the brake I know how to I know but the problem my mom actually gotten problems with driving when the police found her driving down the wrong side of the road she was driving just fine she was in the wrong spot so so now those are two kinds of memories and the third kind of memory is this one this is unconscious it's absolute gut reaction it is cued by something else that's going on this one stays with us until about 12 and a half seconds before we finally say so long for now alrighty this is where we really can help as family members as caregivers so this is really the part that I talk about most now I know none of you have this but I can be honest I have this mm-hmm there are some people in my life that I don't like I can't remember why I don't like them all I know is when I see him I I don't like him it's the unconscious it's in here something happened somewhere and I'm going to sure wish I could figure out why I don't like them you know does that make sense so it's that actually that unconscious so this is where we can make the biggest biggest biggest impact and like I say this one stays with us forever okay why do we even care about this and this is exactly what you folks we're talking about in terms of the goals of this organization this group it's all about relationships it's all about sharing information it's all about getting us all on the same team and what I want to look at our family members the person themselves who is receiving the care and the staff I need all three of those components on the same wavelength on I want everybody to know for instance Linda and when everybody to know what's the deal with your pins because what a conversation starter what a great conversation started look how long we talked some cool things even with you losing it you know there's some it but that's one of the things that if all of us know that we are so ready to move forward one of the things that I talk about a lot is when with people with memory loss I don't know if I'm right or not but I kind of make this up have you ever driven down the road and you drove into a fog it was foggy in a nanosecond what happens you're going I did I slowed up somebody hit me from behind no if I go too fast I'll hit somebody wait a minute am I in the right lane no aim it did I pass my exit I mean 50 million thoughts real quickly go running through your mind and I don't know if this is true or not but I kind of think in my mind that having memory loss is like constantly living in that kind of a fog I can't quite see I can't quite understand what's around here so one of the most important things that we've been talking about and we'll continue to talk about this week is what can we as staff members do what can you as family members do family is easier for you but we need your help so we can do it is I want to be able to say let's pretend for a second I'm a staff member and I see Billy I see your PIN and I say to you tell me about that pin now you don't know me because we haven't really met but the first thought I hope that goes through Billy's your mind is she must know me I'm not totally alone here there's somebody that knows me because she asked me again about that pin and ask said she thought it was 60 some years old does that make sense it's the whole idea of being able by what I say to in our jargon today have her back have your back okay and so that's what we've been talking a lot about is what information do I need from families in order to have that component this is all real simplified but as my in my world I think the brain has two jobs number one is to make the best sense of what's going on that I can possibly make if this works for all of us this is not about dementia this is about us for instance have any of you ever tripped out in public and perhaps fallen down what was the first thing you said make the best sense this wasn't my fault and somebody says are you okay and you go oh yeah I'm fine you have two broken legs what the I with me because our brain wants us to stay in control think in terms of if I have dementia and have a little trouble with that control piece but I still want to be able to do that so sometimes we'll get answers the questions that don't quite seem to make a lot of sense but I'm trying my very best I mean this is all of this as best I can do to answer this question so that's one thing and then the second one is to keep us safe and I don't mean physically safe I mean emotionally safe I don't want to fail I don't want to say things and have you go that's not right I don't I don't know as it is okay and so those are the two things we talk about all the time you're not researchers so we're all set when we look at cognitive loss it's real simple real simple short-term memory loss I'm done I'm done I don't care what the cause is I don't care if it's you had a stroke I don't care if you got Alzheimer's I don't care the bottom line is you have short-term memory loss and I think the day it really hit me is I was speaking in North Dakota and I was keynoting and there was another keynoter and we both have books so we're sitting next to each other and we're signing books you know how that goes and he well he stills alive I'm sure Carl Mecklenburg if you're a football person he was with the Denver Broncos alrighty I don't like football I don't understand football but I love to talk and we're probably sitting as close as Irene and I are sitting and I want to say something to him but I can't think of anything intelligent to say and I look over he's got this big hugger ring okay a Super Bowl ring but I wasn't even sure that's what that was and I'm pretty uncomfortable so finally I said to him hey Carl I got an idea why don't we swap books he's got a book about how to be the best you you can be I got a book about how to talk to someone that has memory loss they're a little different so we signed the books and with tests and I'm still a little uncomfortable so I said to him what I know you don't need that book right now but you might have a grandma or a grandpa you know in your family this might be beneficial for you and I was looking down when I said that and he said my wife needs it now and I thought he was being funny so I looked over those are not funny eyes and I said Carl what do you mean and he said I've had five very serious concussions and I'm losing my memory and I'm scared to death who then I remembered that the week before I was there this was happening that jr. sale another football player had killed himself and so I said wasn't that sad last week about jr. and he said to me I'm not laughing because it's funny I'm laughing cause it was so ironic he said to me well you know he's a friend of mine and he said you want to know why I shot himself in the chest and not in the head and I thought you know this is getting way too deep for for I just said let's trade books I didn't want to get into this big conversation I said no I didn't he said he was also having memory loss and he wanted to save his brain for research that was like I did it yesterday was a day it doesn't make any difference whatever reduces blood flow of the brain can potentially result so that's why I can't fix it because I can't figure out which one of these problems it is so all I got to do is figure out we're just got to learn how to live with it successfully so short term memory loss there we're done now we got that here's the big thing I've told the staff this a million and twenty-seven times I've said please do not ask a person with short-term memory loss a short-term memory question it's not helpful at best and it's kind of mean at worst and we've been actually doing that with the staff you know I'll find somebody and kind of pick on them a little bit because here and you say well I got that I got that but let's talk about where we can get into trouble so fast and we really didn't mean to hi how are you that is a conversational comment and I but I bet if you asked me that you really didn't want to know about the fungus under my toenails did you were you interested in but no you weren't nobody seems to be I can't tell anybody about it but for someone with short-term memory loss it's a real question and I don't know the answer and many times as family members we say it because we're trying to make conversation and then we get they're trying their best they're trying their best to give me an answer that makes sense remember back to the brain thing so they'll say things like um I am well my bowels aren't working very well they'll come up with something I'm having a lot of pain maybe it's true and oftentimes it's not because I pulled it from someplace okay and then you as family members go oh my golly alright so unfortunately that question will help the person with dementia fail once then we say whichever breakfast I don't even remember it's only an hour going I don't remember it at all so I say to you they don't feed me I haven't had anything to eat for weeks and so juice family member hotfoot it over to management and go why aren't you feeding my mother and they say yes we are and you say no they're not and okay so these are the questions we really don't want to ask so though now we've had a little problem here twice my loved one has failed and then we say what'd you do yesterday and at that point I just kind of wish you'd go away because you're making me feel stupid and I'm not stupid I was a speaker I was a teacher I was a very successful home maker and I can't answer any of these very simple questions so it sounds easy it's tough well I find how am I going to get rid of these what am I going to talk about so let's look and see the next thing I want to say before we get to look and see is one of the hardest things for us is you need to learn to give them up excuse me what are you talking about I really don't mean that I say that to make sure every is a wake what I really mean is give up your expectations of them okay because they always did all the bills or they always did this or with my mom she was my go-to person I know you're gonna Irene you're gonna find this tough to believe but sometimes my mouth opens up and I say things to people to make them mad sometimes and so I would call mom and go guess what I've done and she go that's okay honey you like people I mean she really was my backup and so I'd call her it made it made no sense anymore she couldn't even comprehend why what I was trying to tell her so tough for me okay so first I need to give up those expectations but that gives me some room to put in some stuff like what are their strengths one of the things I asked family groups if where were a bunch of us we can certainly do it here with us with our group what are their strengths and sometimes the loss of memory is so devastating that we forget they're still in there somewhere and what are their strengths and so I'll say to family members and to staff what are their strengths one of their biggest strengths is we were playing around with it is long-term memory I'm still in here come find me as is the subtitle of this their long-term memory is solid got to tell you this Irene let's assume I have memory loss and Irene called me up yesterday morning and she said I'm gonna come over and get you about 10 o'clock let's go to breakfast well heck I'll eat anywhere you know that's how I am and so I said ok fine and I took that piece of information I have two drawers I have a short-term memory jar and I have a long-term memory door I put that right here in the short-term memory door there's only one problem my short-term memory drawer has no bottom ok this one's got a good bottom all right so I put it in there and the days over and this morning she shows up at 10 o'clock I'm still in my pajamas and she goes well why you're not ready to go and I saw I certainly wish you to call me if you'd have told me that we were going to go out I'd have been ready and she says yes I did and then we have a little argument because I go no you didn't ok because I don't remember it so we don't want to do that part but anyway so she says to me ok just go ahead and get ready I'll just wait right here let's go so we go out to breakfast and we're sitting there and I love to talk there's nothing in that drawer over there so I look over here and I pull up the story about the what I had in my lunchbox the first day when I went to kindergarten and I start to explain to her that mom always put ketchup on my bologna sandwiches and sometimes that ketchup soak the bread and she's going I don't get this she couldn't remember that I called her less than 24 hours ago and now she's talking about a bologna sandwich with ketchup on it that's right because that in my long-term drawer and that bottom is solid so as staff members what we are dying to get is what's in this long-term memory drawer that we can use here to engage them and to be able to say to the men by our words I got your back I know you okay arm strength long-term memory is a big one what about humor big strength but we need to know we as staff members what what are they thinks funny what it you know guys like jokes women like stories music what are their favorite songs I can hum along if I can get the tune to the favorite song and I don't have to be able to sing the whole thing I can sing a couple verses on or a couple lines I'm all set to go but again what does that say to the person you know me you know me or you wouldn't been singing that you are my sunshine thing is we're singing there okay if they have a spiritual base that stuff is hardwired that is absolutely hardwired I've done a lot of work with falls mitigation and one of the easiest falls interventions is a Bible well only if their spiritual they're not if they're an atheist don't give him a Bible that doesn't work but if they're a spiritual person what did we learn about the care and feeding of Bibles when we were kids don't let that thing fall on the floor so if I want Irene to not be jumping up until I can get over to her a simple task of putting a Bible on her lap when she's ready to get up she's going to pick it up and go and now I can get there and now I can work with her I know you say Oh silly but it works like a child and I'm playing to old memories okay songs verses Bible verses poems that have a spiritual base for for folks that have a spiritual being it's very comforting but again I don't know that unless you can tell us mom loved my mother-in-law loved that footprints okay love that and unless you got into her house and saw the footprint posters and that posters but pictures and stuff I'd have never known that but Wow I mean all you gonna do is bring that up and she just beamed she just loved it and those are the strengths that we can utilize as staff members but we kind of have you help us okay those are the big the big strengths and do we play to him we've got to play to him and many times as family members were so distraught by what's missing we forget there's still a lot of stuff still there and we we can make their life as we have left enjoyable what do I say don't say you've seen this little guy before what do I say not to say number one is no but I could be wrong who here likes to be told no just tell me which is raise your hand we'll be all set to fly look at you no I'm not gonna say that to you I'll tell you that right now yeah no nobody wants to be told no and so what we say many times is when they give us information to try to answer one of our shirt to remember questions we go no now you remember and we didn't weren't trying to be mean but you told me I was wrong and not wrong and if you've ever made the mistake I'll raise my hand if you ever made the mistake you get in like a big big trouble because the person will come will lash out because I don't I know I'm not wrong the other thing not to say is do you remember whoa this one's a toughy particularly if on the Fryman on the front end of my memory loss journey I know I'm having trouble remembering and when you say do you remember you don't have to get anymore words out my blood pressure goes up my pulse goes up and I can't even hear what the rest of the thing you said because I was so afraid I'd fail the question so actually the name on my book as I was thinking but what I say is I can say the same thing but instead of saying do you remember the time we went to the store and got where was I where was I was in Canada in Canada they sell orange ice cream with a licorice licorice strip through it I forgot its name tiger they call it tiger ice cream I can't find it anywhere they only make it in Canada it's good if you like licorice anyway um and so if I were going to talk with my husband and we were had been there I would say to him do you remember that time we went to Camden got the tiger ice cream by the time I got done with you remember he wasn't listening anymore okay I can say the same thing like this I was thinking that we'd visited in Canada once and got something called Tiger ice cream you see it's the same story but the front end is just a little different when I say do you remember it puts all the responsibility on him when I say I was thinking it's my story and he can go I don't remember that or yes I do and nobody loses face as we say so now I say don't do this and don't do this I know for heaven sakes what are we gonna do and this is where we really are needing your help what we need to learn about the residents is some things that are wonderful conversation starters starting with what do they like to see simple stuff maybe I love a gray sky with just that glitter of Sun coming through maybe I love flower petals to see them does that make sense real simple stuff many times they say to families let's say that you know me and you know that I grew up with a Labrador Retriever and I love my Labrador Retriever and you we know his name was Harley and we've got all that but you come in to talk to me today and rather than saying a short-term memory thing you could say to me on the way in here this morning saw somebody walk in a beautiful black lab you didn't see someone walk in a beautiful black lab but to me that's cool and I'll go I used to have a lab and the conversation or start or I'll go oh that's nice and we move on to something else because that didn't trigger for me because we're like we're all human beings one day it'll work the next day it doesn't work so good you know I like I like that Tiger ice cream but I don't want it every meal so we need several of these so I can try a few okay so what do they like to see and the more you can tell us we can say the same thing we can say the same thing saw a beautiful lab somebody was walking him on the street today I didn't see the lab either okay but I want this person to know I they're back I know one okay what do they like to smell smells are extremely who was it who was it that got enticed into eatin mmm-hmm it's you okay got enticed into eating because of the smells of breakfast this morning and we do things like popcorn or make bread anything that will take me back what are we doing we're going back to long-term memory what does that smell mean if you know me you will know that I can't tolerate roses I don't like roses I think they smell like dirty feet okay oh they're pretty enough if you put them over there but if you want to really be nice to me buy me a carnation a lot less expensive they hooked every good thing in my life confirmation you know all the different things that happened to me I love the smell of carnations and I'm it's cheaper to be nice to me okay what do they like to taste and we got to be a little careful with this one if you say to me what do you want to eat I will tell you I want rye bread with a great big slab of Bermuda onion and Limburger cheese love the Limburger cheese salt and pepper gotta have salt and pepper um there's only one problem most nursing homes most facilities most restaurants don't have it okay and you say to yourself well that won't be a problem she won't remember that I'll remember isn't that interesting we don't understand how it works but I thought when you asked me I got so excited about the Limburger cheese they never brought it to me okay so what we need to say is would you like sausage or bacon give me a choice and if I'm having a little trouble you know this sausage is really good today and help me but don't take my ability to make decisions away okay what do they like to touch is their favorite blanket is there a favorite piece of clothing we wear what we wear because we like the way it feels we like the way we think we look in it okay so what are we in each one of these are phenomenal tools as conversation starters hey I don't know if it's okay with it can I just this I just look can I touch your shirt Wow love that feel are you with me hook in hook in hook in don't ask though short your memory questions and what do they like to hear and that SPECT is it a joke is it a song is it what you know do I like that this morning we walked out on the patio at zero dark thirty after we were finished teaching and Irene said listen to the birds it was beautiful and they were all chirping and waking up okay I love that sound I just love it so we sat out there and had some coffee and did some talking okay and those are the things that I'll remember when I leave here that make life worth living okay now you're gonna say to me I'm not stupid I understand those are all the senses and that's actually what it is that's how we interact with the world and so as family members you can really help us gather some of that data so we're ready to roll okay you doing okay okay good already because what I want and what I've said to the staff all day Laurel week-long so far is our job the staff members is to help people every day feel useful and successful and when I say to you can you tell me about where the heck did you get the Limburger okay I can feel successful because I'll explain to you where we get the Limburger you there's a place in Wisconsin and there's one store in Toledo that sells it so I go in and I buy it's that creamy and I don't like the other kind I buy four containers of Limburger because I don't want the store stop carrying it so I have all these things in one burger my frigerator okay so it's simple it's not difficult stuff but if you have these and what I say to people is before you call up before you stop over get your make a list someplace by my book see that's a subliminal you didn't know here that um all my book is is really a workbook to capture this information get yourself two or three stories that you want to talk about no more than three you come in and we try one it doesn't work we tried to it doesn't work we try through you hook on let's roll let's talk about this you try three and it doesn't work you know what you we need to go to the restroom or you need go get a cup of coffee already one of the things we're talking about with the facility is there is a phenomenal couple really good test that will tell you what's left how where is their memory it's interesting that we do enough tests to choke a horse on every other condition you know whether it's pancreas or whether it's lungs or whether it's heart and when we get to dementia we kind of look at it like a switch they got it they don't it's just like everything else there's a there's a progression and we've not spent as much time as I think we should determining where are they and then how do we bolster that which is what we do with everything else if we find how your hearts working then we're going to give you meds and bolster that well this isn't meds but this is support make me feel useful and successful and my I can get that as the progression as slow as I can get it I can't stop it and I can't make it go away but I can help okay so those are those now here's a few more things you're getting all kinds of jobs we're gonna ask you to help us with all kinds of stuff and that's stories I want you to be able to say here's and I'm really into pictures and so I would say to the families what's this and then they said to me this is a picture of dad loved this because the Air Force flew over and they were making candle if you can see it it's the letters USA in planes okay okay and all I need to say have yeah do you I was going to say you worked with the military don't shoot for something you said that made me think of that where is that it is it really well am i good yeah wish I'd have known that ahead of time tell me where it is again Randolph okay it's Randolph Air Force Base okay well thank you I never knew where I just found that picture somewhere if I've stolen and I shouldn't have don't tell him I got it okay alright I don't know I love this one because this I can say to my sister hey I was thinking about that little neighbor girl we had look just like her dog pictures are wonderful long-term memory reminders and if we can get fun ones how about this one mom I was thinking about that you told me we need to be able to get a shoe shoes for a dollar 77 a pair okay no amazing pretty pretty pretty pretty nice-looking shoes actually not so bad one of the ladies we did some some books and one of them lady one of the lady's stories I think I use it all the time Irene so tired here and I've told everybody but I love it she was working and she came home from work one day and her husband was making tuna patties but they wouldn't stick together and he's all Madden was trying to smush him and they won't work she went out to the garage to see what the heck was going on and she found the container it was cat food he grabbed the wrong container okay but all you need to say to her is I was thinking you like tuna patties and she starts to laugh and then she'll tell you the story useful successful and she's very successful because she made me laugh all rightie stories so these are the kinds of things that if we get rolling as I'm hoping we will get rolling those are the kinds of questions you might be being asked to help with because these are things there's no way we a staff could ever ever know now this is my own personal belief and I think I like to tell families don't say goodbye okay now that's me goodbye to me is to final like goodbye I like love you see you later and already um and four sighs oh I didn't tell you this for some people get something in your head that makes logical sense remember back to the job of the brain making sense so I say make some logical comment as to why you would be leaving I've got to stop and pay their light bill I've got something I need to do because otherwise you say goodbye and they go don't leave and then you get into a kind of an uncomfortable how do we how do we get apart well the funniest story of the whole world I think I was doing some work in Hawaii well somebody had to do it and I volunteered okay and there was an ombudsman his name's John and um I did all this stuff and he was working with a group of Social Work students so he called me one day and he said okay I want to get together I want to get a teleconference with you we've looked over your DVDs we've looked at your stuff and I want to talk with these students about it I said okay fine he said we'll call it'll be noon here it's six o'clock in Ohio I said all right so we call and we're talking and you've already figured this out I love to talk and sometimes I talk too much and so I'm talking and I'm talking and I'm talking and finally John said Oh Diana I said Joe he said I'm I'm so sorry but we do need to cut this short he said I've got to get to the store and get some kitty litter before the store closes and I went oh John I'm sorry I and I said John it's noon where you are anyway yep he said but I listened didn't I I bought it hook line and sinker and I said to him you don't even have a cat he said nope I don't actually okay but it was a logical reason why we would have to stop this conversation okay and it truly works now I got a good idea caveat we'll all this work 100% of time uh no we're all human beings and so you know but if I can if I can change one percent 10 percent 20 percent of our interactions and be able to walk away smiling I think it's worth it okay now this is for you folks you got to do your homework and you've got to capture those good comments and I'll tell you why because if you don't capture what they'd like to see smell taste touch and hearing the stories that make them happy I'm again I will guarantee you your mouth will open up just like mine did and I'll ask a short-term memory question cuz that's how we talk the story on me the friend of mine had memory loss her husband had come over and we were talking and 4:30 he leaves 6:30 at night my husband and some friends went to a restaurant as we're walking in she and her husband are walking out I did not realize I was gonna see her I know all kinds of stuff about her she's a real she was in real estate she loved dogs we had a lot of things we could have talked about I wasn't ready and so this one right here said hey what you have to eat and I wish I had a video camera her eyes glazed over she turned around and she grabbed her husband's arm and I'm going on Diana I should have had a v-8 and I stopped it so I tapped her on the shoulder and I said I hear they have great food here and she starts to turn back and I said she goes yes I've heard that and her I start to getting a little more less foggy and I said I am so hungry she took my hand and she patted it and she said well you better get in there so you don't starve to death and I said oh thank you so much we all just we all make mistakes with it you've got to be ready and so when I talk about homework I really do mean and that's what I've been telling with staff we need to talk with the families we need to learn this stuff now I need to practice it I need to be able to walk in while we're doing bathing while we're getting dressed and say I was thinking you used to be a quilter does that make sense it's that kind of that's how we work it all together you guys are the most important people and you've already said it you can teach other families better than anybody else because Lorelai as you said it's it's somebody who's lived it can go I'll tell you I'll tell you the piece of that okay so important but that's why I want to be able to get to you because I'd like you to share this information also to really make it work better for all of us now let's talk for just a moment about you we don't know what causes we as we say we got ten ten hundred things that cause memory loss we don't know how to stop it we don't know how to fix it we do know a couple things we know that at least it won't hurt you physical exercise as well as mental exercises using your brains as much as you can possibly use them and then the interesting thing any of you do Lumosity by any chance it's an omelet I can't remember what college it is it's some college that's doing all kinds of research on memory and they have computer games I love they have computer games but they're taking all the results how are you feeling today what's going on okay and trying to figure out do any of these help some our flexibility in thinking some are speed some math summer and their point is don't like if you do Sudoku don't just do that every day every day every day use a different hunk of your brain then use a different honking your brain and then use a different huh well it fix it can't hurt can't hurt okay so don't try to or don't not do some of these things because we're not sure if it'll work it's worth a shot because here's our key you guys are the key for your loved ones because what we're trying to get to is in addition in with that useful and successful we want everyone to have a calm contented day and we have to really truly lean on you guys to help us get to that all right well listen these guys are really working hard so questions thoughts comments that come into your brain please please PLEASE ask

Channel: mmlearn.org

Views: 2,226,012

Rating: 4.8153973 out of 5

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Id: ilickabmjww

Length: 40min 25sec (2425 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 28 2018