How to Overcome Trauma

psychological trauma can be defined as a negative event so overwhelming that we cannot properly understand process or move on from it but and this is the devilish aspect of it nor can we properly remember it or reflect upon its nature and its effects on us it is lodged within us but remains hidden from us making its presence known only via symptoms and pains altering our sense of reality without alerting us to its devilish subterranean operations unsurprisingly a lot of psychological trauma happens in childhood children are especially vulnerable to being traumatized because they are congenitally unable to understand themselves or the world very well and have to rely to an uncommon degree on parents who are frequently less than mature patient or balanced a child may for example be traumatized by a parent who through no particular fault of their own becomes heavily depressed shortly after childbirth or a child may be traumatized through exposure to a parent's Titanic rage or violence oh because the widest category of psychological trauma is also the most innocuous a child may be traumatized by what psychologists term neglect which might mean that at a critical age between 0 & 5 and especially in the first 18 months it was not properly cherished soothed comforted and to use a large but valuable word loved the leading symptom of having been traumatized is fear traumatized people are above anything else scared they're scared of getting close to others of being abandoned of being humiliated and disgraced a falling ill probably of sexes of traveling of their bodies of parties of key bits of their minds and in the broad sense of the world the legacy of having been traumatized is dread an unnameable forgotten unconscious memory of terror and fear projected outwards into the future as the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott wisely observed the catastrophe that the traumatized fear will happen has already happened that is why in order to find out the gist of what might have occurred to us long ago we should ask ourselves not so much about the past we won't directly be able to remember it anyway but about what we're afraid will happen to us going forward our apprehension holds the best clues as to our history crucially and surprisingly it can take a very long while before traumatized people even realize they are such a thing a leading consequence of trauma is to have no active memory of what was traumatic and therefore no sense of how distorted one's picture of reality actually now is traumatized people don't go around thinking that they are unnaturally scared but they just think that everything is very terrifying they don't notice their appallingly low sense of self-worth they just assume that everyone is likely to mock and dislike them they don't realize how uncomfortable intimacy is they merely report not being happy in this or that relationship in other words trauma color's our view of reality but at the same time prevents us from noticing the extent to which we are peering at life through a highly distorted lens only with a lot of time luck self reflection and perhaps the odd breakdown do traumatized people come to a position where they start to notice that the way they think of the world isn't necessarily the way it actually is it's a vast step towards mental well-being to be able to be usefully suspicious of one's first impulses and to begin to observe how much fear and self-hatred one is bringing to situations that don't truly warrant them processing trauma usually works best when we can hook up our own malfunctioning and distorted brain to another more clear sighted one and contest our readings of reality against those of say a wise friend or a psychotherapist we stand to recognize that perhaps to our great surprise we are not inherently disgusting maybe not everyone hates us maybe everything isn't headed for disaster perhaps we're not in line for a horrific punishment and crucially if we do suffer reversals maybe we could find our way out of them because we are and this can come as a bit of a revelation we are now adults not a nine month old infant who underwent something that altered their mind for decades overcoming trauma is the work of years but the beginning of the end starts with a very small step coming to realize that we might actually be traumatized and so that the world may not be the dark fearful overwhelming and dreadful place we have come to assume it must be our resilience cards are designed to help us become tougher in the face of adversity to learn more follow the link on screen now you

Channel: The School of Life

Views: 343,181

Rating: 4.9493508 out of 5

Keywords: the school of life, schooloflife, education, relationships, alain de botton, philosophy, talk, self, improvement, big questions, love, wellness, mindfullness, psychology, how, to, hack, trauma, PTSD, how to overcome depression, how to overcome anxiety, how to overcome fear, anxiety, fear, bad things, bad memories, PL-SELF, mental health, mental health recovery, how to overcome trauma, 如何克服创伤, Cómo superar el trauma, कैसे करें ट्रामा पर काबू, childhood trauma

Id: CHm2gTkNQxc

Length: 5min 37sec (337 seconds)

Published: Wed May 29 2019

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