How To Let Go of Heartache with Buddy Owens

hi everybody everybody say hi buddy hi it's great to see you great to be with you you want to take out your message notes I want to talk today about how to let go of a heartache I'm actually going to talk about forgiveness if I could just put it into one word forgiveness is is a hard thing to talk about but sometimes we have to talk about hard things and this is one of them we going to talk about forgiveness today I want to tell you there's a there's a man by the name of Ramon Nevaeh's and Ramon Nevaeh's was the 19th century prime minister of Spain and he was not one of the nicer people in history so when when Ramon was lying on his deathbed they called for a priest came to give him his last rites this is true not all of my true stories are true but this one's true and the priest said the priest said Ramon does your excellency forgive all of your enemies and Ramon said I have no enemies father I've had them all shot and I think man it's good to be king you know wouldn't be fun to be Ramon just for one day it nothing permanent just kind of you know they could all come back but you know what I'm saying sometimes you just wish you could do something like that and I don't think that's what God has in mind for us when it comes to how we treat our enemies so we need to see what the Word of God says about how do we how do we treat our enemies what are we supposed to do so we're going to start by by looking in Matthew chapter 5 I'm going to look at the this passage it's here on the screen it's also in your notes but here's what Jesus said he said you have heard that it was said love your neighbor and hate your enemy but I tell you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be sons of your father in heaven he causes his Sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous if you love those who love you what reward will you get are not even the tax collectors doing that and if you greet only your brothers well what are you doing more than others you're not even pagans do that be perfect therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect I think these are some of the most difficult words that Jesus said they're difficult to do and I also find that they're difficult to understand everybody loves their friends but the way of the kingdom the way of Jesus the way of the Cross is that we're supposed to love our enemies too so what does Jesus mean when he says that how am I supposed to love people who only hurt me how am I supposed to love people that hate me people who only give me heartache and grief it's very important for us to understand first what Jesus is not saying in this passage there are four Greek words for love and I put these in your notes you can look at them when you get home but you'll see them here on the screen - four Greek words for love the first word is the word store game store Galib is family love it's parental love it's a love that a mom has for her kids or that kids have for dad or for brothers and sisters that's storge love family love the other word for love is eros love eros love is romantic or sexual love between a man and a woman why we where we get the word erotic the third kind of love is phileo love and phileo love is brotherly love it's the love that we have with our closest friends that's why Philadelphia is called the city of brotherly love comes from philia or phileo brotherly love but the fourth kind of love we find in Scripture is the word agape agape love and you may have heard people say well this is unconditional love this is the love that God has for us and it's true this is the kind of love God has for us but what kind of love is it well here's what agape means agape means unconquerable benevolent generosity and kindness invincible goodwill so agape love is the love that God has for us and it's the kind of love he wants us to have toward all people so when Jesus says love your enemies he's saying I want you to love them with agape love that's the word that he uses in this passage Jesus is not saying you have to love your enemies with storge love the way you love your mom your kids your family he's not saying that you need to love your enemies with phileo love like a best friend you're not saying you need to cuddle up with them in front of a fire and read a nice bedtime story that would be weird that would be awkward and you might wind up with more enemies and you started with if you try that or worse yet you might wind up with some friends of you weren't looking for so Jesus is not saying love them that way he's saying love them with agape love with benevolence with kindness with generosity and I love the fact that he's not even saying that you have to like your enemies not saying you have to like oh he's saying this is how you love them you show them love the way God shows love to everybody with kindness with compassion with generosity the love that we have for our dearest friends for our family members the actions of love the way we show love comes out of our feelings it's a natural outgrowth of our feelings our head or decisions follows our hearts the way we feel but agape love is the opposite it's backward in fact you might want to write this down agape love it doesn't start when your feelings agape love begins as an act of the will as an act of the will it's a decision that you make that I am going to be kind regardless of how I feel about that person I'm going to treat them with kindness I'm going to be gracious to them it's a mindset to be even-handed and to treat them with dignity to treat people with respect agape love does not spring from our emotions where the other kinds of love the head follows the heart with agape love your heart follows your head you make the decision first you deliberately decide I'm going to treat them in a kind way and then over time you find that your heart begins to follow your head so you don't have to decide to love your best friend that just comes naturally but agape love the love of God is the power to love people who are unlovable who are unlovely it's the power that enables you to love people who hate you people who are unkind and hurtful to you people who only bring you heartache and grief and that kind of love is only available through Jesus Christ through the power of the Spirit of Christ living in you so you say well okay I follow Jesus and I want to do what he says but how do I do that on a practical level how can I love people who are unkind how do I love them with this agape kind of love well you can begin by praying for them that's right pray for them pray for your enemies pray for the people who are mean to you now I'm not saying pray that they get a flat tire and drive off a cliff you don't pray from that way pray for God to bless them pray for God to give grace to them pray for God to forgive them if there's something broken in their life think about why are they treating me this way ask God to heal whatever it is that's in their life that's causing them to be this way toward me or maybe even toward other people but pray for those people in fact Jesus says this in Luke 628 he says bless those who curse you bless them and pray for those who mistreat you you see prayer is the forerunner of love you cannot hate a man in God's presence you can't hate a man in God's presence pray for that person bring them before the law and when you pray for your enemy two things can happen one is that God can answer your prayer and change that person but the second thing that can happen and actually is more likely to happen is that God will answer your prayer by changing you he'll begin to give you his heart for that person in fact that's a good way to pray say Lord you know what's going on in this relationship you know how I feel about this person and I'm asking you to give me your heart for them and as you pray that way sincerely and consistently God will give you his heart for that person that doesn't mean that you have to like them it doesn't mean you have to hang out with them but it does mean that you treat people the way God wants you to treat them with goodwill and with decency and truly hoping for God's best for them now it's important to understand that when Jesus gives us his teaching he is not giving us command about pacifism he is not making a statement an anti-war statement that's not what he is talking about in this passage the whole counsel of God tells us that the role of government is to protect people and to defend justice but Jesus is talking here about personal relationships see it's actually easier to go around and say hey I'm a pacifist well that's fine but let me ask you a question how's your relationship with your next-door neighbor you can say I'm all about peace and love and no war I hate war there should be no war and I agree there should be no war but that is not going to happen until Jesus comes back so in the meantime what he's saying is great you can say there should be no war that's great be all about peace and love but I got a question for you how's your relationship with the in-laws how are you getting along without rat in the cubicle next to you at work how's that working out for you that's what he's talking about he's talking about a personal life in which bitterness and revenge and unforgiveness play no role in our relationships with the people around us he's talking about personal relationships and that's what makes this so hard because you can say you love an enemy overseas that you've never seen before but do you love the enemy that's next door to you do you love the enemy that's across town or down the hall at the office how do you love those people you see if we treat our enemies the way they treat us well then we're no better than they are somebody once said if you wrestle with a pig in the mud both of you are going to get dirty but only one of you is going to enjoy it so don't get in the mud with the pig take the high road treat them with kindness treat them with agape love treat them with generosity and goodwill look at what the Bible says in Romans chapter 12 it says if your enemy is hungry feed him and if he is thirsty give him something to drink in doing this you will heap burning coals on his head do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good I love you says if your enemy is thirsty give them something to drink so here's an idea if you got an enemy at work somebody who's being mean to you somebody's working against you and always giving you a hard time here's an idea offer to buy them a cup of coffee on your next Starbucks run I'll blow their mind and you pay for it ok and don't put anything in it on the way back to the office offer to buy him a cup of coffee say hey you want some coffee I'm making a run they'll be staggered or offer to buy he says if they're hungry give them something to eat offer to buy him a sandwich you know next time you run down to the deli hey can I get you anything we're going out for a minute I'll bring it back for you I got it I'll pay for it he says when you do that it's like heaping burning coals on that person's head they won't know what to make of that they may tell you no it doesn't matter offered to do it offer to give him something to drink offer to give them something to eat as the Bible says overcome evil with good don't get in the mud with the pig be kind be generous Jesus says in this passage he says you need to love your enemies why he says so that you may be sons of your father in heaven now he's not talking about salvation what he's talking about is character he's saying you want to be like your father in heaven well then do this you want to be like God this is what God is like love your enemies so that you can be like your father in heaven he's not talking about about how to go to heaven he's talking about how to live your life all your here on earth that there needs to be a family resemblance you hear people say like father like son or like father like daughter it needs to be this family resemblance there's a family reputation to uphold the family of God he's saying you want to be like your father well then love other people the way your father the way God does and how does he love them he loves them with agape love God's love that is impartial that's generous and gracious to everybody God loves people who break his laws God is loving toward people who break his heart look at this passage it's on the screen here psalm 145 the Bible says the eyes of all look to you and you give them their food at the proper time you open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing the Lord has righteous in all his ways and loving look at this tour all that he has made he's loving with agape love toward everybody and this is the kind of love that he's asking us to have with decency dignity mercy kindness where we take the high room so that people can look at you knowing the hardship knowing the struggle you might be having with somebody else they can look and you go what is different about you what why are you so kind why is it I never hear you say anything negative about that person I got to tell you a story I've never told haven't told in any other services I just I just thought of it when I was preparing praying about about this morning but I want to brag on Rick because he's not here okay I'm gonna brag on Rick if you've been around Saddleback any length of time you know that Rick has a lot of people that say a lot of mean stuff about him horrible lies about him I've known this guy well I've worked with him for 12 years I've known him for 20 years and I can tell you that in all of my years of being with Rick and hanging out with Rick and hearing about these stories I have never one time heard him say anything ugly about those people he's never done it yeah because he doesn't want to get in the mud he talks about him with kindness he talks about him with compassion he understands what Jesus said you love your enemies with agape love you love your enemies the way God loves them and then Jesus finishes this little passage with something I think is even more difficult to get a hold of look here on the screen this is how he finished the passage he says after he says to love your enemies he says so be perfect be perfect therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect and I'm thinking I hang on a second here you just told me to do something I can't do love my enemies and now you're telling me to be perfect well that's impossible why would you say a thing like that to me how am I supposed to be perfect well again we have to look at the context in which Jesus says this context is everything when Jesus says be perfect he's not talking about moral perfection he's not saying be sinless and never do anything wrong that's not what he's saying here he knows we know that we cannot make ourselves perfect in that way then I'll never do anything wrong again that kind of perfection that kind of sinlessness only comes from God it's his gift of grace through Jesus Christ God knows that we can't earn our way into that or work our way into perfection that kind of perfection that only comes from God that's not what Jesus is talking about so what does he mean well the word perfect when he says be perfect it's here on the screen the Greek word perfect is a word telling us telling us and it means total complete and mature notice it doesn't mean sinless it doesn't mean goody two-shoes it means total complete and mature it's a word that's used to describe a grown up so in this context of this statement be perfect the context is when he's teaching about relationships loving your enemy with agape love he's saying be perfect in agape love be complete be mature in agape love he says love them the way your father loves him and how does the father love him well we see it in Jesus himself because Jesus loved sinners while they were sinning against him he prayed for sinners while they sinned against him he gave up his life for sinners while they were sinning against him that's the way of Jesus because that's the way of the Father and he wants that to be our way too so in this passage when he says be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect here's what he's saying in fact you might write this down he's saying when it comes to your relationships grow up when it comes to your relationships you need to grow up face it with maturity show people integrity in your speech and your lifestyle be a person who is kind be a person who is always consistent in generosity and benevolence and goodwill not just toward your friends but toward the people who hate you the people who harm you that you never say anything bad about them or to them you take that high road well in essence what Jesus is saying is when it comes to your relationships you need to be like my dad now what about friendships what about the friends who hurt us or family members who hurt us oftentimes they can be more difficult to forgive because they have the ability to hurt us so much deeper a friend or family member can hurt us much more than a stranger or an enemy and certainly more repeatedly because we're in relationship with them how are we supposed to forgive those people when they hurt us well Jesus talks about that too look at what he says here in Matthew 18 he says if your brother sins against you so now he's talking about someone in relationship with you if your brother sins against you go and show him is fault go tell him about it tell him what happened tell him how you feel go and show him his fault just between the two of you don't go tell anybody else go talk to him and he says and if he listens to you you have won your brother over but if he will not listen then take one or two others along so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses and if he refuses to listen to them tell it to the church and if he refuses to listen even to the church then treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector now notice again he's talking about a brother a friend someone in relationship with you and as someone who he says if a brother offends you since again she was not sinning against God or sinning against the church they've offended you he says here the steps you take you just go talk to him tell him how you feel tell him you've been hurt and if they listen awesome relationship moves on if they won't listen you take somebody with you if they still won't listen tell the church about it then he says and if they still after all of those steps you take if they still won't see things your way he says then treat him like you would a tax collector or a sinner and for years I heard this passage used as an excuse to cut off relationship a way to justify getting somebody out of your life and oftentimes it was as though the person using this was just hoping that that brother would not come to their so they could just wash him out of their life get him out of their life I heard people use that that passage that way if they won't listen to you you treat them like a tax collector see the tax collectors in Jesus day were hated by the Jewish people because tax collectors were Jews who were collecting taxes for the Romans for their enemies so they were traitors and they were taking money off the top so a tax collector in those days according to religious law was unclean and a Jewish person would have no fellowship with tax collectors and yet Jesus says so if your brother won't come to see things your way treat him like that tax collector treat him like a traitor treat him like your enemy harden your heart toward them get them out of your life and that confused me because I thought wait a second that doesn't sound like Jesus what happened to forgiveness he's saying love your enemy but reject and hate your brother I don't get this it doesn't make sense so I thought well I'm gonna see what the rest of the Bible has to say about this teaching what are the other Gospels Mark Luke and John well what do they say about this particular teaching Jesus gave and I can tell you what they say in one word nothing they said absolutely nothing about it Matthew is the only guy who wrote those words down they're not in Mark Luke or John only Matthew wrote it down treat him like you would a tax collector and I thought oh wait a minute now isn't that interesting what did Matthew do before he became a disciple he was a tax collector and how did Jesus treat tax collectors with agape love with kindness with benevolence with goodwill with friendship he even had dinner with some of them and I thought well maybe that's what Jesus is saying that if after all of this effort if you still cannot restore storge love family love with that person and if they're still not willing to restore brotherly love the friendship cannot be mended then at the very least love them with agape love with the love of God with kindness with fashion with even-handedness with generosity with unconquerable benevolence and invincible goodwill take the high road Jesus ate dinner with tax collectors maybe some of us need to have that person over for dinner and start the relationship all over again because sometimes it's more important to be reconciled than it is to be right now you may say there is no way I could have that person for dinner at my house things would get really ugly really fast that's fine that's not for everybody remember you don't have to like them but if you can't bring yourself to to do those other things women find you have Jesus permission to treat him like an enemy but how are you supposed to treat your enemy with agape love not with hatred not with animosity you treat them with agape love forgiveness says look I'm going to pay the price for this you don't owe me anything I got it it's covered forgiveness is not saying oh it was nothing that's that's a lie that's denial it was something it was something big cuz it hurts you forgiveness is not saying oh it was nothing forgiveness is saying yeah it was something but I'm not going to hold on to it any longer I'm going to let go of that hurt forgiveness is not enabling the other person forgiveness is simply refusing to carry that hurt into the future if somebody hurts me in my past and they've harmed me they've done something to me I don't want to carry that into my future I don't want to allow it to continue to hurt me forgiveness is saying I'm just letting go of it I've put that behind me because I don't want anything to come between me and God I don't want to carry that hurt with me any longer now you'll people will say well look I'll forgive him as soon as they apologize but that's not the way of the Cross the way of the Cross says I forgive them before they apologize the Bible says while we were sinners Christ died for us he didn't wait for us to clean up our act and friend apologize to him he died for us while we were sinning against him forgiveness says unless it go whether they apologize or not that is the way of the cross and Jesus tells us if we want to be his followers we pick up the cross daily to follow him that means we have to be willing to forgive daily if we want to follow him that's what it means to pick up your cross it means to let it go pay the price get it covered you see because when you have the cross on your back you don't have any room for a chip on your shoulder now let's go on and see what happens next in this conversation is Jesus is bringing this teaching in Matthew 18 says then Peter came to Jesus and he asked Lord how many times do I have to forgive my brother okay yeah I get it I got to forgive my brother but how many times when he sins against me up to seven times and jesus answered I tell you not seven times but seventy-seven times and some translations say seventy times seven times so for all of you English majors that's 490 times okay I'll do the math for you 490 times you see tradition said that you only had to forgive somebody three times if they hurt you only three times if they hurt you again well then you didn't have to forgive them again because they weren't really sincere with their apology the first three times so tradition said three times so Peter is thinking hey I'm going to be generous here I'll double it I'll go to six and then throw in one more for good measure well hey hey how about seven and Jesus is saying wait a second now whether it's seven times or seventy-seven times or 490 times if you're keeping score you're missing the point if you're counting it doesn't count look at what the Bible says in first Corinthians 13 it says love keeps no record of wrongs that's the love of God that's a gap a love that's the word for love that's used in that passage in 1st Corinthians agape love keeps no record of wrongs you don't write it down you don't record it in your memory that's the kind of love God wants us to have so here's a question how many times have you asked God to forgive you what if he stopped at 7 that's a scary thought love keeps no record of wrongs the problem with keeping a record of wrongs is that every wrong seems to be worse than the one before so if I keep no record of wrongs does that mean I'm living in denial no does that mean I am in an Abe enabling that person to continue to sin against me and to keep doing what they've been doing no as Ric has taught us so many times there is a huge difference between forgiveness and trust forgiveness the Bible teaches us forgiveness is instant but Trust has to be earned over time forgiving somebody doesn't mean you just jump right back in and so nothing ever happened that's not what it means it just means I'm letting go of what happened because I don't want it to interfere with my future there are godly ways of dealing with someone who hurts you but unforgiveness is not one of them in fact there's another reason that we need to forgive look at what Jesus said in Matthew chapter 6 he said if you forgive men when they sin against you your heavenly Father will also forgive you but if you do not forgive men their sins and your father will not forgive your sins forgiveness means that I'm not going to allow anything to stand between me and God because here's here's the deal here's the truth here's my confession to you as a pastor I know absolutely 100% that I am going to sin again I know me I'm just a dopey bald-headed guy I know I'm going to sin again which means I'm going to need God's forgiveness again I'm going to need to come to him for the 490 first time and ask him for forgiveness I'm going to have to ask him again and Jesus says you want to be forgiven well then you need to forgive I don't want anything to come between me and God and as long as I am carrying that offense that somebody committed against me that person is now between me and the Lord forgiveness says I'm getting that out of the way forgiveness is the way when I forgive them I'm saying Lord this is yours you handle this I want you to be my defender God is the judge I'm not the judge I'm going to let God handle it I'm just not going to let anything get in the way so forgiveness is not just a one-time activity you do it once twice three times and you're done in fact I want you to write this down in your notes forgiveness is a lifestyle forgiveness is a lifestyle it begins with an act of the will it's a decision that you make it's a habit of letting go refusing to hold on to the hurts Jesus continued his teaching on this look at what he says next in Matthew 18 he says therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants and as it began the settlement a man who owed him ten thousand talents by the way ten thousand talents is millions and millions of dollars it's an enormous debt says a man who owed him $10,000 talents was brought to him and since he was not able to pay the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt the servant fell on his knees before him be patient with me he begged and I will pay back everything now we know that's impossible that that's too big just be patient and I'll pay back everything the servants master took pity on him cancelled the debt and let him go but when that servant went out he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii a hundred denarii was one day's wage a day's wages he owed him a hundred denarii he grabbed him grabbed him by the throat because it says he began to choke him pay back what you owe me he demanded and his fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him be patient with me and I will pay you back said the same thing that the servant said but he refused instead he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt when the other servants saw what had happened they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened then the master called the servant in you wicked servant he said I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you and an anger his master turned him over to the tormentors to be tortured until he should pay back all that he owed and this is how my Heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from his heart the servant was delivered to the tormentors because of his unforgiveness it wasn't his sin his debt to his master that got him put in prison it was because he refused to forgive the debt of his brother and the tormentors that he was turned over to the tormentors were those who tortured by use of the rack remember what the rack is it's a horrible instrument of torture where they put your hands up in one end and the entire feet down at the other end and they turn a crank until it literally tears your body apart he says he was delivered to the tormentors and it was because he would not forgive his brother and the size of the debt here this one guy owes his master an absolutely impossible amount to pay back and his master forgives him but his brother owes in one day's wages that's like what a couple hundred bucks it's nothing in the big scheme of things it's nothing but he allowed that little amount a couple hundred dollars one day's wage he refused to let go of that offense and he wound up imprisoned because of his unforgiveness how much has God forgiven you is it just a couple hundred bucks or has he forgiven you and immense enormous debt that you could never pay him back are you holding something against somebody something they might have done to you now I know that some sins against us are enormous abuses that are just unimaginable but in the eternal scheme of things even those are a day's wage an offence something somebody said or didn't say something they did or failed to do somehow they let you down or they stood you up whatever it might have been and you've hung on to that and every time you think about it it gets bigger and every time you tell somebody about it it gets worse and you've allowed it to twist you up you've allowed it to shrink your heart to stretch your imagination and it is literally tearing you apart just like that torturers rack is doing to you Jesus says you got to let go of those things because we are the prisoners of our own unforgiveness it's not the person who hurt us we become the prisoners of our own unforgiveness they've probably forgotten all about it or they really don't care but we're the ones who suffer when we refuse to forgive when we refuse to let go the only way to be healed is to let go of the heartache the only way to be free is to forgive now I want to make light of anything that's happened to anybody in this place I'm sure there are a lot of stories here that would rattle all of us and you might be thinking I cannot forgive that person not after what they did to me it's too big it was too much and to just let them off the hook it would not be fair and you're right it's not fair but forgiveness is not about fairness forgiveness is about grace we don't forgive because it's the fair thing to do we forgive because it's the right thing to do it's because that's what God is asking us to do to let go because he has let go so that we can be like our Father in Heaven to love with kindness and compassion so if you're saying well how can I do that how can I really let go of a heartache well I got three things for you to write down take three steps the first one is this it sounds simple sounds obvious but write it down give it to God give it to God everyday if you have to no matter how many times that memory comes back you just give it to God say Lord here it comes again I don't want it this is yours I'm giving it to you release it to him give it to him because you can't do this by yourself you probably tried you can't do it alone look at what Jesus said in John 15 he said apart from me you can do nothing so you can't do this by yourself you need God's help you've got to give it to him because the Bible also says this some of the favorite words of us and right here in Philippians 4 look on the screen he says I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and you need the strength that only Jesus gives us through the presence of the Holy Spirit in your life so every day you say Lord I need to be filled in a fresh way with your power today I need the strength the power to do what you've told me to do agape love is the power to love the unlovable and I need your power Lord so I'm given this person to you I'm giving this situation to you I just release it to you and I'm asking you Lord help me give me the strength so the first thing you do is you give it to God here's the second thing to do change your mind change your mind now here's what I mean by that don't allow yourself to harbor thoughts about revenge don't allow yourself to harbor thoughts of anger when you find those thoughts coming to you change the way you think you give it to God and then you change the way you think as the Bible says in Philippians 4 it says you think about things that are lovely not the things that were ugly things that are true not the lies that we're told about you think about the things that are praiseworthy and admirable he says you change your focus change your mind and think about those things you've given it to the Lord you say now Lord I'm going to think about I'm going to think about other things I don't want that stuff in my mind anymore you change the way you think here's what the Bible says in Romans chapter 12 it says be transformed by the renewing of your mind so you change the way you think so you give it to God you change how you think and here's the third thing to do I mentioned it a while ago pray for them pray for them you cannot hate a man in God's presence so you pray for them ask God to forgive them ask God to bless him ask God to pour out his grace on their life this is not easy but I speak this out of my own personal experience when people have hated me and treated me unkindly I said I want to do what the word says I'm supposed to do Jesus said pray for those who persecute you pray for those who hate you so I prayed for him and I found that God will begin to change my outlook and my attitude toward that person pray for them Jesus says this Luke Luke 6 28 he says bless those who curse you and pray for those who hurt you so here's my suggestion as I've been talking about all of this there's probably several of us in this room as I've been talking about it and somebody's come to your mind some hurt some offense some wound it could be minor it could be major but someone's come to your mind an enemy or someone you love who's treated you like an enemy here's my challenge for you for the next 30 days let go of your grudge just 30 days that's all I'm asking make a decision that for just 30 days I'm going to step out of that cell that I put myself in because of unforgiveness for the next 30 days I'm going to let go of that hurt that that person inflicted on me for the next 30 days I'm going to give it to God whenever it comes to my mind for just 30 days I'm going to give it to God I'm going to change my mind and I'm going to pray for that person for 30 days I want to remember what it's like to live in freedom and then at the end of those 30 days you can step back into that cell if you want to or you can say I'm going to do this for another 30 days and another 30 days because remember forgiveness is a lifestyle it's a habit it's a way of living life as long as your hands are gripped around the throat of that person who sinned against you your hands are not available to receive the grace of God so for 30 days let go and see what happens in your life don't let unforgiveness rob you of the grace of God let me pray for you about this we all need to pray about it and as you bow your heads and we turn our hearts in prayer let me ask you again did somebody come to your mind as I've been talking about this somebody that you need to forgive a heartache that you need to let go of as I pray you let this be your prayer father you've told us in your word that judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful but you've also promised that when we forgive others when they sin against us that you'll forgive us when we sin against you and father I need that kind of forgiveness so right now Lord right now I release this into your hands I release this person into your hands and in the silence of your own prayer just whisper their name to God just tell them who it is just say Lord I release and tell them the name I release this person into your hands anybody who has done me wrong Lord I open the door of the debtors prison that I've held them in and I'm setting them free today they don't owe me anything and I'm asking in Jesus name that you will set me free from the torment of bitterness and unforgiveness that I've been living in lord help me to walk away from all of that into freedom and to never look back and lord I want to make a commitment to you today that just for 30 days I'm going to let go and for 30 days I want to live in freedom for 30 days whenever I think of them I'm going to tell you about it I'll give them to you I'll change my mind and I'll pray for them but lord I can't do it without you please help me help me to let go and live in freedom and if you have never given your life to Christ if you've never asked God to forgive you of your sins and made things right with him this is your chance right now so you can just pray this way in your own heart you just say god I I don't understand all of it I just know that I really need you I know that I have offended you and I I want to be forgiven so I'm asking you today would you forgive me for the things that I've done to hurt you for the things I've done to hurt other people and to hurt myself Lord forgive me and Jesus I believe that you died on the cross for me - you're a forgiving god I'm asking you to forgive me I hear you're a saving God so I'm asking you to save me I ask you Jesus come into my life make things right set me on a pathway of freedom I give my life to you today and I pray this in your name or Jesus amen

Channel: Saddleback Church

Views: 139,464

Rating: 4.8299775 out of 5

Keywords: Relationships, Forgiveness, Love, Saddleback Church, Buddy Owens, Rick Warren

Id: X5470N-6fqg

Length: 49min 6sec (2946 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 26 2015