How To Let Go And Stop Worrying (10 Stoic Tips)

if you focus on the fact that something is unfair that something is not your fault that something sucks that something is impossible insurmountable these words have a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy to them we should never forget Fortune's habit of behaving exactly as she pleases Seneca says and I don't think he meant that she behaves in ways that we always like I think what he was talking about was the same thing Epictetus talked about which is that the vast majority of what happens in the world is outside of our control that the world is largely indifferent to what we want and need but understanding that doesn't exactly stop you from worrying about it in fact it may exacerbate those very worries because it's so much is outside of our control can feel like there's an endless amount of things to be scared about to be worried about to be uncertain about I'm Ryan Holliday I've written a number of books about Stoke philosophy I've spoken to the NBA the NFL sitting Senators Special Forces leaders also have two young children I have a small business I I have plenty of things that worry me and keep me up at night nothing compared of course to someone like Marcus Aurelius who's the emperor of Rome of Empire 50 million people he faces floods he faces Wars he faces a plague and we know that he struggled with anxiety and worry like we all do but thankfully there was doses in there there was a philosophy he could turn to to help him deal with the uncertainty the unpredictability of life that's what we're going to talk about in today's episode stoic strategies for how to worry less three stoic one-liners that will help you beat anxiety number one Epictetus says it's not things that upset us it's our opinion about things it's what we think about them that's upsetting not the things themselves number two Seneca says he who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary he says we suffer more in imagination than in reality what he means is we anticipate what could happen What might happen we torture ourselves about it in advance that's what anxiety is and then three this is Marcus Aurelius beating anxiety he writes in meditations today I escaped my anxiety that he says wait no no actually I discarded it because it was within me things don't make us anxious as Epictetus was saying we make ourselves anxious we have control over it which means we can solve for it [Music] stoicism is really really simple it's that while we don't control what happens to us we control how we respond to what happens to us the Stokes would say yes stuff goes wrong stuff goes sideways but we always have this opportunity to practice the four virtues courage Temperance Justice wisdom it's not that there's nothing bad in the world there's nothing frustrating in the world there's not stuff we wouldn't want to happen but when it does happen it is nevertheless an opportunity to step up with courage to be self-disciplined to do something for other people to practice to learn to to experience wisdom that's the idea of stoicism we don't control what happens we control how we respond to what happens Pema shadrone talks about the babysitters yeah these things that we do to distract us from the thinking mind that's why one of the reasons why I think meditation mindfulness is so important so that you can start to control the thinking mind so you're not just taken by it so you can have a process for anxiety or the inner critic or the racing mind start to calm that environment then you don't need these things that these places of Refuge that have a cost as much if you can manage what you focus on what you pay attention to if you have if you hone the skill to be able to bypass you know things that stress you out or whatever you know when you start to manage the mind then it all it's all possible yeah productivity you know ceasing procrastination anxiety insomnia all these things and I'm speaking from experience [Music] matters the way we see things the story We Tell ourselves about things that's the first and in some ways the most important step the idea is that the world is objective there really is no such thing as good or bad Shakespeare says neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so events are objective we tell ourselves what they mean we make up a story about them there's no such thing as a bear Market or a bull market good weather or bad weather there's just weather there's just the market our job as humans is to respond to that now of course we put names on these things so we have a helpful way of seeing them but we have to understand that the way we see them in the story We Tell ourselves about them determines what we're going to be able to do about them so if you focus on the fact that something is unfair that something is not your fault that something sucks that something is impossible insurmountable these words have a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy to them [Music] so when I was in London I took like an hour cab ride from Heathrow to Chartwell which is where Winston Churchill lived it was incredible to see this house where he kept that sort of routine of his where he'd you know he'd feed the Goldfish he'd recite poetry but you could see where having something out in the country having a routine having ritual having nature people go swimming and then most importantly you saw the studio where he did his painting did you just realize like the power of hobbies and he wrote this amazing book called painting as a Pastime where he said like the most important thing that a public person can do is have one or two good Hobbies you know Marcus Aurelius we know went boar hunting Seneca likes to point out all the hobbies that people had and I mean for him it was clearly writing he liked to point out that Socrates like to play a flute and he also he used to like to play games with neighborhood children uh Cato like to drink wine and talk philosophy in the evening the power of Hobbies is immense you know and when Seneca talks about how it's easy to fracture an overworked Mind by having a hobby you work different parts of your mind and then cause like rest through that so for me this farm that we're on is a big one I'm just putzing around I had a nice work day and then this is extra it's good to have something to be responsible for to think about but that uh you know forces you to rest your mind what I'm not doing is sitting at the computer right I'm not responding to phone calls I don't get cell service out here you know yeah the emperor of Rome would have had beautiful palaces Marcus from a rich family would have had access to Country Estates and beautiful houses and you could afford the finest Resorts or Retreats and he reminds himself though that people who try to get away from it all are chasing something that doesn't exist he would have liked that Buddhist idea that wherever you go there you are he says you can Retreat into yourself anytime you want he says you can find replenishment and rest and relaxation inside your own soul and I think that's what he's doing in meditations that's what he's doing in books that's what he's doing when he would go on walks when he would look at the world poetically he realized that he didn't have to lead to some exotic location all the things he needed and wanted were right there they weren't external things at all they were inside of him just as they are inside all of us the secret to improving in life according to the Stokes is one thing it's being okay with being seen as silly or foolish epictetuses if you want to improve be content to be seen as stupid or foolish or ignorant about some things when I started making these videos when I started making videos in general it was so awkward it was so uncomfortable but to get better I had to have reps being bad same with writing if when I look at my first published writing it's so cringe-worthy but you have to be willing to be bad at something to get good at something you have to be willing to be seen as stupid when you're raising your hand and asking a question to learn the answer if you're not comfortable being vulnerable if you're not comfortable putting yourself out there if you're not comfortable ever being seen as foolish or ignorant or awkward you're never gonna get any better so the secret to improving is what it's being seen is not great in meditation Mark surrealist talks about being the rock that the waves crash over and eventually the Raging Sea Falls still around that idea of Stillness of being present of locking in to me it's everything that's happiness it's also great work but a flow State comes from it's where Joy comes from it's where connection comes from it's where gratitude comes from so just lock in calm down it doesn't matter what's happening in the outside world slow down lock in let the waves crash around you and eventually everything will quiet down and you will do what you need to do in this very moment you said it wasn't bad when the stoics were alive Seneca is there when Nero is Emperor Marcus Aurelius sees the decline in fall of the Roman Empire so the idea that it wasn't stressful that it wasn't depressing the idea that it wasn't alarming or worrying things that were happening in the world none of this is new this has always been the case epic treaty says that every situation has two handles you can despair or you can say this is an opportunity this is a moment in time when I can step up when I can make a difference when I can be the change that I want to see in the world I cannot be implicated in the ugliness of the times that I happen to be alive and I can try to make things better so that's the choice are you going to despair are you going to be excited are you going to give up are you going to keep going you're going to do what you need to do I don't know who needs to hear this but Marcus aurelius's reminder is a life-changing one he says you don't need to have an opinion about this he says you always have the power of having no opinion if it's pointless gossip if it's trivia if it's something that doesn't concern you if it's something you have zero control or influence over just let it be don't have an opinion you don't have to say it's positive or negative epictetuses you know it's not things that upset us it's our opinions about those things it's our judgment about those things so we have the power to not think about it to tune it out to focus on what really matters to try to put our energy and Our intention on where we can make a difference on where we do have control and if other people want to be concerned with them if other people want to be riled up or have opinions about them if it's their job to do it leave it to them meanwhile you let it float on by like the clouds and you stick with what's up to you [Music] I hope you subscribe but what I really want you to subscribe to is our daily stoic email one bit of stoic wisdom totally for free to the largest community of stoics ever in existence you can 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Channel: Daily Stoic

Views: 965,685

Keywords: Stoic, Stoicism, Ryan Holiday, Ryan Holiday Stoicism, Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday Interview, Ryan Holiday Stoic, Ryan Holiday Daily Stoic, Stoicism TED talk, marcus aurelius, marcus aurelius meditations, ryan holiday podcast

Id: Y3w2r5JD0u0

Length: 11min 33sec (693 seconds)

Published: Sat May 06 2023