How To Judge Less And Love More | Stephen Foster

thank you very much and we're looking today at Luke six and we're looking at from from verse 37 so Luke 6 from verse 37 and it's on page 1044 which is in the blue Bibles and the chairs just in front of you but it's also going to come up on the screen say Luke 6 from verse 37 Jesus says do not judge and you will not be judged do you not condemn and you will not be condemned forgive and you will be forgiven give and it will be given to you a good measure pressed down shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap for with the measure you use it will be measured to you he also told them this parable can the blind lead the blind will they not both fall into a pit students are not above their teacher all who are fully trained will be like their teacher why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye how can you say friend let me take the speck out of your eye when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye you hypocrite first take the plank out of your eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person's eye no good tree Bears bad fruit nor does a bad tree bear good fruit each tree is recognized by its own fruit people don't put figs from thornbushes or grapes from briars good people bring good things out of the good stored up in their hearts and evil people bring evil things out of the evil stored up in their hearts for out of the overflow of one's heart the mouth speaks I want to talk today about how to judge less and love more I don't know about you but I find one of the most frustrating things in life is when people judge me maybe it's because of the way I speak either speak to well or I don't speak well enough will my background or my upbringing all the way I carry myself and they assume because of something about you they look at you and they make assumptions about you well maybe it's because of a mistake you've made or something you did in your past maybe years ago or a failure which you've experienced and because of that people can judge you they can write you off and it feels so unjustly fully your spirit rising everything's like who are they to judge it's what I'm most frustrating things in life but speaking personally I also find one of the hardest things in life is not judging others I I know it's the wrong thing to do I know it's not a great idea but it's almost like I can't help myself I form judgments about people the whole time based on their appearances their matter what they say how they act and I see some of these are judgments that we form you know they're vital that they kind of help us survive and thrive it's really important that we have good perception and that we have insight but so often our judgments slip into judging people and we can write people off I remember doing a series of interviews when I was a barrister with a very senior barrister and and and I handed him the assessment form for the interview and he said what's this and I said oh it's what we used to assess people after the interview so we know how well they've done he said I don't need that I've decided if I like someone by the time they sit down so oh but we're doing it all the time we're always forming these perceptions and judgments about people but how can you do that how can you act with insight without judging people how do we judge less and love more and Jesus speaks about this in this passage and what he says is brilliant has the potential to transform every one of our lives and to transform the whole of our lives has the potential to transform our relationships and transform the people around us and the first thing he says in this passage is to know your limitations Jesus tarsus passage by giving us two ways to treat people two ways to approach people you can be judging and condemning of others or you can be generous to and forgiving of others ah it's almost like what lens do you see people through are you going to be positive or negative are you going to be harsh or Jesus says don't judge don't condemn and it's such an important issue for our generation in our culture because on the one hand we see what Jesus says here don't charge and we think yes we don't like judgement we don't like people judging us great that's really well said Jesus really well spoke but on the other hand a lot of the way we speak a lot of our public discourse what happens in the media and on social media basically involves judging others we make snap judgments about people's whole lives in seconds is this someone I like or dislike are they good or bad are they a great person or a terrible person should they be celebrated or condemned on social media our kind of distance from people and our relative anonymity makes it even more tempting and it feels like there's a bit of an inconsistency because we know what don't want to do it but we end up doing it we know we don't want to condemn people's judgmental but on another level we actually feel deeply that we need to have the freedom to be able to say the way that person has treated those people is wrong it's wrong the way that person has acted is wrong it shouldn't happen that behaviors shouldn't happen and what's fascinating in this passage is that Jesus says don't judge don't condemn but then straightaway Jesus calls them hypocrites so is he judging and is he condemning he says don't judge don't condemn but then he says it's really important that you can distinguish between good and evil is it inconsistency no it's brilliant because there's two ways you can use judging there's two ways you can understand that the first is to sit in judgment over people to think you're high and they're low to look down on them and judge them as a person and the second is just exercising a good discernment making a good decision about something that's going on and Jesus says don't do the former but you need to do the latter do discern the difference between right and wrong but don't be judgmental of another person so why is Jesus so keen that we stop judging other people well Jesus cares how you treat people because it reveals something about how you see yourself it reveals something actually about the state of your heart when you judge others you don't define them you define yourself and Jesus is warning he warns us you're never closer to being a hypocrite but then when you judge others when you write someone off because of their behavior a flaw or a mistake why is that it's because we're inconsistent so we tend to judge others by their negative actions but we judge ourselves by our positive intentions we tend to attribute our behavior our negative behavior to our particular circumstances but we tend to attribute other people's behavior to flaws in their character we tend to be very good judges for the mistakes of others and very good defense lawyers for our own mistakes why is that well part of the reason is that our knowledge is limited when I worked as a barrister I defended people accused of crimes and actually over the years I worked I defended hundreds maybe over a thousand people accused of criminal offenses and it's great to see so many of you here today and actually I defended a number of people who were kind of famous or celebrities in some or another and one particular person I defended someone who's a famous singer she was a kind of a list high-profile person I'd love to tell you her name but I can't because I'd be sued and I don't have any money anymore so that wouldn't work very well but but she was quite young and her lifestyle had been represented a certain way in the media in certain aspects of the media you don't need much imagination to think about what that looks like and so she was arrested when she when she was charged everyone assumed she was guilty the police were convinced she was guilty the prosecution were convinced she was guilty yeah this is just how young celebrities act and she was adamant she hadn't committed this offense but she said I'm innocent but all we had was her word and there was a bit of evidence going the other way and we had been pushing the prosecution to give us some of their fouls so we could just check that there wasn't anything that might exonerate her my anything that might show her show was that she was innocent and they were resisting and resisting and resisting and then on the morning of the trial literally half an hour before the case started they came up to me and they said oh here's what you've been asking for so I was there half an hour before the case that I think so it's kind of leafing through these papers trying to find off you know 15 minutes ago I've got to get in court in a second is there anything here helpful anything here just going through it came through it came through and there's something I came across this document I kind of pulled it out and I had to read it three times I say she's innocent because this document had something on it that proved conclusively that she couldn't have committed the offense they had charged her with it was absolutely and undeniably clear she was innocent so I kind of thought oh I'm not gonna photocopy this don't want to lose it get it tangled up in a machine so I kind of what do I do so I kind of ran into the court there was just a minute to go before the judge came in I went over to the prosecutor I weighed in his face I said look she's innocent and he kind of took a step back and then I said the same to the judge and slightly more polite way and and and and actually she was acquitted there and there and we came out of court and she was just full of joy and she thanked me in the way that a young celebrity can only do yes my barrister give me a high five and so I was there with my wig and my gown kind of awkwardly went left her her it was great but what was it interesting what I found interesting was that they'd formed a judgement about her based on what they'd heard about they didn't know her they didn't know all the facts concerning her life and actually the one piece of information they needed to see was already in their possession they had it but because they've formed a judgement already they couldn't see the significance of that document they couldn't see it and often when it comes to people we form a judgment on them based on what we can see and then that blinds us to seeing the whole person and actually we the things we don't know the knowledge we don't know we just fill in the gaps based on our own prejudice so often that is the case but we don't know enough to judge we don't have enough knowledge about people to judge I wonder if ever in your whole life you've had this conversation with someone you've gone up to them and you've said I'll hi how you doing I just wanted you to know something I'm actually starting to to judge you and to form an opinion about you which is quite negative I think you're kind of a proud quite unpleasant full of it kind of person but before I form that final judgment I just like to give you an opportunity to speak for yourself you know there might be something you want to say that I need to bear in mind some mitigating factors I mean I'm assuming you had some kind of difficult childhood it's tough for you at home right now that your boss is unkind to you there's a lot of stress at work I mean there must be some reason why you behave the way you do it make me make me you've got some deep insecurity you're not aware of I don't know what it is but I just want to give you an opportunity to say before I judge you so all the facts have you ever had a conversation like that no we form a judgment and then we see everything that comes after it as backing that judgment up but we don't know enough to judge we rush to judgment without the full picture so know your limitations but then secondly find your blind spots now we all have blind spots blind spots which obscure how we see others and blind spots which obscure how we see ourselves and the problem with blind spots is we don't know they're that you can't see them and Jesus says the problem with judging is not only there's so much you don't know but there's so much you can't see and even what you can see is obscured by your blind spots you can't see well enough to judge he says why do you look at the speck of sawdust and your brother's your sisters eye and pay no attention to the plank of wood in your own eye so it's almost Jesus is saying yeah why what it's like it's like you're there and you're coming up to someone and you're saying oh just a minute I can see something and then it come come back later stop moving around I'm just gonna get it out of your eye there it's oh so sorry I'll try again okay I mean they're silly but that's so often what we do our vision we've got a blind spot our vision is obscured but actually we're trying to help other people with their problems and she says you've got no help trying to point out other people's faults when you're blind to your own now here's the thing the fact you have blind spots not only obscures your ability to see others clearly it also makes it more likely that you focus on other people's false because the quickest way to forget your own faults is to focus on others and actually you're more likely to be judging and condemning if you're blind to your own faults so the probability of you judging another person increases as your competence to judge another person decreases and it's so dangerous because not only can you not see their faults right you're more likely to make huge mistakes as you try and help them because your vision is obscured you means you don't have the gentleness the insight you need the fact that you're not aware of the plank in your own eye is more likely to make you harsh in the way you go about trying to help others you're more likely to leave the kind of relational carnage rao's all that kind of stuff as you try and help others and the solution Jesus says is that your fault your fault should leave much larger in your own mind than the force of others Jesus says take careful note of your own faults before trying to sort out the faults of others and sometimes we get it the other way around like we we kind of go around with our little magnifying glasses and we see so clearly what other problems people have we oh I see that person's issues so clearly I'm so wise and insightful I can tell you just what their problems are we kind of Garon looking at it and we actually spent quite a lot of time we think we're examining others so closely see their faults suit so clearly but next time you think about judging it's almost as if what Jesus is saying is put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror pick up the mirror because for every five looks at people with them you know you should be taking 50 yourself with a mirror because sometimes what you think you see so clearly in other people the only reason you can see it is because it's also present in your stuff but you're never going to see it unless you take a look at yourself and actually the easiest way to forget the faults of others is to remember your own well what does that look like well I used to work with a guy a great guy and enjoyed working with him got to know him really well but actually the closer I got to know him the more I thought this guy is actually quite proud I just formed that judgment about him and judged him for being proud if I'm honest and because I had formed that judgment I started to see underpinning all his behavior that used to irritate me or annoy him was the fact he was proud or he's just a proud person that's why he behaves like that he's just proud that's why this happens he's just proud that's why there's been this dispute he's proud that's why this has been a problem and I probably need to tell you but I was actually called a humble guy and so I thought there was a big difference between us and actually if I'm honest I was quite proud of the fact I was so much less proud than he was proud and I was thinking how we gonna what's so irritating is so annoying the way he is what am I going to about it and I prayed actually and as I was praying it was almost like the Spirit of God how to mirror up to me and I suddenly realized the only reason I can see his pride so clearly is because I am proud my self and I might express it in a slightly different way I might not be as brash as he is but I have just as much a problem with pride and so I said rather than judging him I said Holy spirt I need your help would you show me my pride would you help me with my pride would you make me more humble and I tell you the spirit did that and it transformed our relationship because I wasn't reacting against his pride the whole time I had a new compassion for him I was gentle with the way I spoke to him because I was more aware of my own flaws the clearer you see your own faults the more forgiving and generous you will be to other people's know your limitations find your blind spots but also take a lead now you might think at this point what Jesus is saying is you have no hope of seeing yourself clearly of seeing other people clearly so don't try any of this you know if you judge you're going to be judged if you condemn you're going to be condemned so the safest option don't try and discern what's right or wrong don't try make a difference in people's lives don't try and help anyone else if their issues the safest option just to back away from everyone in your life slowly and mind your own business you do you leave other people to do them just back away but when Jesus said this it's interesting mirrors weren't readily available and those that were available weren't that great and if you had something in your eye you needed someone to help you and Jesus didn't say you take take the plank out of your own eye so then you can stop being a hypocrite and then just sit still and don't do anything else wrong no he's not being a hypocrite that's a good place to start but you were made for much more than jesus said stop you know take the plank out of your own eyes so that you can see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eyes Jesus anticipates that we will help each other and he wants us to be precise in our perception and gentle in our engagement so that we can do that well and it makes sense I mean we don't want to judge other people for their decisions the way they ant but it's not loving to be entirely disinterested either not to help each other love isn't just unconditional approval of every single decision a person takes sometimes love ask difficult questions sometimes love gently challenges sometimes love helps people who are trying to deal with their flaws there issues it takes a lead it rather than just Jesus says if you're blind and you're leading someone who's blind you're both gonna end up in a pit but if you've got some measure of sight that doesn't mean you just take a step back and watch someone fall in a pit so you lead them you help them you guide them and here's the thing the more like the more you're more likely to judge harshly the less competent you are to judge but you're less likely to judge the more competence you have to do it the more aware you are of your own flaws your own blind spots your own issues the more reluctant your going to be to challenge or help another person because did anything yeah Who am I I'm dealing with my own stuff so the danger is you have people who should not be judging doing lots of it and people who have some kind of capacity and competence and wisdom to help people backing away from it because they're so aware of their own issues it's interesting like when I was at college I I was going to appear in my life where basically I would turn up at church on a Sunday but then the rest of my life Monday to Saturday if I'm honest I tried to live a life which was as indistinguishable as possible from everyone else's so I started to act in such a way that no one could ever mark me out as a follower of Jesus I just I didn't want to go there so I was quite happy with my faith being kind of partitioned over here and the rest of my life carrying on as if nothing had changed and there was a girl I knew called Becky and she very gently very kindly very compassionately came up to me one day and said Stephen you do realize that if you keep your faith in a box you're never going to be able to help anyone just said it so kindly so warmly that I walked away and I said how does she judge me who does she think she is coming with her judgement she doesn't know anything about my life don't know where I've been she know what I've lived with she didn't know my relationships she coming approaching with her judgmental attitude about you know how I live and I walked away angry and proud told five people how outrageous she behaved she is such a judgmental person and then after about a week I was sitting there and I suddenly thought she's right she is right I'm living a life of complete inconsistency I need to change something it's just one of the most helpful conversations I ever had with another person most helpful ways someone just gently reached into my eye and helped nudge the speck out of it and you know what to me it felt like judgment but it was all love sometimes judgment sometimes real love feels like judgment but it's still love and you know if we're gonna see this city transformed if we're gonna see our workplaces change our relationship is transformed we can't do it on our own we need each other we need to take a lead to help each other not to wash our hands of each other and say well you know you do you off you go make your mistakes but to come alongside each other to help each other grow so that people start to look at us look at our church and say there is something different about these people they don't judge but they love me in a way I've never experience before they don't condemn me but they are fully committed to me they're not self-righteous but they seem aware in some way of how much they've been forgiven they don't look like hypocrites there's an integrity about the way they live I want to be with them I want to learn from them I want to connect with them and show this is happening already I was in my alpha group on Wednesday night and a couple of people just saying how they came to come on alpha one person said well you know I I was invited that was the most important thing I guess someone actually invited me but I get invited to lots of things but I'd always noticed that there was something different about the life of the person who invited me there's something different about the quality of their personal relationships the way they treated people the compassion they showed the fact they weren't judgmental but we're encouraging came alongside people and I just I just want to see what makes this person different so I'm gonna come along and that's what happens as the Holy Spirit starts to stir us and shape us and help us and reveal aspects in our planks it frees us to lead with a humility and engage with grace and then the Spirit of God just enables us to be more like Jesus to represent Jesus to this city Jesus who then he was the only person who's ever lived who knew everything about everyone he met he saw everyone with 20/20 vision all of the good all of the bad all of the joys all of the disappointments all of the hopes all of the kind of despair who saw everything they had been through and yet had compassion on them and longed to draw them close to God knew Jesus who he wasn't judgmental who didn't condemn who challenged but who challenged the proud and unsettled the self-righteous but comforted the lowly and brought peace to the distressed who drew near to the outcasts who spoke for the voiceless who saw those who thought they were invisible and came alongside them who had compassion on the poor and the vulnerable who longs to bring good fruit out of our lives to help our hearts to grow to be shaped in such a way that comes out of our lips in our conversations in our workplaces in our families in our friendships so that we might see our relationships transformed we might share each other on as we seek to see the name of Jesus his name and his renown the name of Jesus lifted high again in our church in our city and right across this nation in Jesus name Amen I'm Bear Grylls my favorite way to start the day the Bible in one year that's how wild I am find out more at Bible in one year dot org or download the Bible in one year app

Channel: HTB Church

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Length: 27min 35sec (1655 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 28 2017