How to have more CONFIDENCE

all right let's rock and roll five steps to having more confidence in your life number one decide you need no reason whatsoever to be more confident just make the decision to be confident you don't need a reason you don't need 50 people to tell you you are amazing or you're beautiful or we love you you just have to say you know what today we lift my head up a little bit you know today I'm gonna give myself a little bit of credit today I'm just gonna be confident I'm gonna walk into this room I'm gonna stand tall as if I was an incredibly confident person for no other reason then that's my intention right now that's it that's the power of intention it's the power of the self-directed human being that we could just get to choose how we want to feel you could be happy right now for no reason right for no reason at all you can just say you know what I'm just I to be happy in my life you don't need 50 things to make you happy you just sense the moment feel grateful for life you're good to go right we over complicate these things we think we have to have you know some big long psychological story and build up to suddenly one day wake up and be more confident no we don't we have to wake up when we're they say today I'm be confident just like we decide when to wake up if he I read today or you just I mean you just crushed it you know you got so much done you were like wow at the end of the day you're like man I just crushed it today that happened because when you woke up and the more you said I'm gonna get some stuff done today you had the intention to be a productive human being that day so why not set the intention to be a confident you and being that day why not simply attention to be a loving person or a ambitious person or a funny person or a flirty person or a sexy person or whatever kind of person that you want to be just decide you don't need a bunch of stuff people really get this one wrong and what happens is if you don't have the intention in the moment safety I'm going to be confident I'm just gonna allow that to come up I'm gonna feel that sense and feeling what confidence is me and expressed that genuinely and real for myself within the vacuum of intention arises impulse and often from that impulse through our brain stem up becomes worried concerned fear the de paying attention to what is wrong so that we can fix it or flee or escape right so we have to have the intention of who yarn what we're going to be it begins with you simply decided to be a confident person change my life when I did that I I realized it and this was way back in college from me I just thought I want to be a confident person how's this gonna happen do I have to wait till I'm 50 after I've achieved everything I've made some money or maybes people like me somewhere come on get over it we should get over our stuff and one day just realize real confidence is simply having the ability to genuinely express who we truly are and to pursue things that we truly desire that's confidence confidence doesn't have to mean you're leaping over tall buildings confidence means you being who you are authentically for no other reason no one gave you permission you just decided to be who you are you decided to chase your dreams that's confidence right believing in yourself and believing where you're going that's confidence it doesn't take a whole lot of magic that's confidence from that decision to be confident just because just because we want to feel that sense of strength in our own bodies that sense of energy and joy of expressing who you are chasing what we want everything rolls from there you know the human develops in spin its psyche we develop a real sense of competence or confidence coming from a sense of integrity for ourselves you know integrity is I Know Who I am and I am being that consistently I know what I want and I am chasing that consistent integrity being aligned with who you are your values your beliefs and your dreams having integrity that gives us confidence in self right that our self can stand on its own and be itself and do what it desires that gives us a sense of confidence so have you been doing that Department have you been really demonstrating who you are to the world have you allowed yourself to do that because if you do that over a period of time this the self and I would argue the sole sense is a coherence you know there's a cohesive sense of identity that comes from being consistent to the best of who we are confidence comes from that and that too is will it is a decision it is a desire to want to be a person of integrity and confidence and that's where it stems from I think if you decide to be confident you have integrity and who you are being and what it is you're seeking in life and your values I think the third one from there it really comes down to competency I mentioned that word earlier competency which means you know psychologists often call the confidence competence loop as you become more competent in something you learn how to do it you're more confident in doing as you learn how to ride a bike and you rode the bike more and more and more you became more skilled at it you develop more confidence in your ability to ride the bike any area of your life you're gonna go into the for the first time be okay with being uncertain be okay with being uncomfortable be okay with not knowing how it's gonna turn out cuz it's your first time but stumble into it anyway because you stumble into it you develop a skill you develop comfort with it and then suddenly one day you wake up say I'm pretty confident doing this nothing changed in who you are what changes your level of competency knowledge skill and ability that's what competency is knowledge skill ability and talent and so when we finally realized oh wow I just need to learn a little bit more hair I'll be more confident I just need to apply this a little bit more here I'll be more confident as you develop skills and abilities in your life in your unique areas you become more confident to do that it requires the fourth thing and then the fourth thing is momentum you know momentum is key to confidence when we stop having any momentum in our life we often feel lost or confused you're down you know we start losing that connection with our strength and our self and so we have to take more action to develop more confidence that means we have to say what is it I truly want to start moving towards it on a consistent basis before we know the whole plan often you know a lot of people think that you're you know your decision is your destiny and sometimes I'm like um I don't know about that a lot of people decide to lose weight a lot of people decide to be a loving spouse a lot of people decide to do something good but they don't it's discipline action that is your destiny right and often some of the best decisions in your life come after you have momentum at something and then you gain some more perspective right but a lot of us are waiting for the perfect plan the perfect time the perfect person the perfect thing to pursue our goals or our dreams and it's that waiting that often Campins our confidence because we're we're at the external we're sorta at the whim of the world a little bit maybe we get lucky maybe that person comes in maybe the funding comes through whatever it is we have to instead say what can I do to begin this what could I do now to begin because even if you begin and you're not sure you don't have to know whole the whole path right sometimes the whole stairway is not lumen until you take that first step as we learn from Martin Luther King right it's like what does that prefer it sometimes it's that first step and then the staircase emerges then we can see and so for yourself as soon as you take that first step that says in your mind hey you know what I took a step good for me and then you start making better and better decisions because you're able to see more often you don't know where you're going in life until you start jogging towards something it still is run in place run somewhere but as soon as you run you start things open up to you say oh look at this look at this look at this people haven't say I wish I had more vision for my life Brendan it's hard to have vision for your life you've never seen anything get outside of the house turn off the TV turn off the computer go see the world a little bit you'll gain a little bit more vision and with more vision and momentum towards the things you want you will have more confidence so he begins with deciding really you need nothing to be more confident but if you need something go with integrity be more of who you truly are chase what you truly desire be smart enough to know that you have to have to have to have to have to develop more competency and the things that you're interested in more competency more confidence you have to realize oh my gosh there is no reason in the world that you cannot yourself with very simple moves gain more momentum more momentum more progress more progress more confidence and finally the fifth thing of confidence community you know we all need people around us and who are supportive and positive and buoyant and who appreciate our sense of aliveness and joy and happiness in life and if we don't have that you can't sit there and be a victim oh I just have a bad set of parents and I got a bad set of friends and I guess I'm destined to be around a bunch of duds no go find a new peer group go to a seminar go to the church go to a you know volunteer meeting go get around people who are positive and who are amazing you know a lot of people tell you hey you know what just get rid of all those negative people but sometimes your negative people in your life or your you know your mom or your dad or your lover your spouse or one of your kids is just a little tyrant you can't just open the door to get out of here you little bastard it doesn't work like that it's not about cutting loose all the negative people right of chopping off people and getting rid of them though maybe there are some people you need to say I don't need to associate with this person as much in my life anymore or if I do I don't need to get so hooked up and trapped into their pools of pessimism what you have to do is say instead okay if I don't have the support of peer group let me go create that let me go find those people and get around them because as people are cheering you on you gain more confidence as people are saying hey you're doing a good job you say yeah I am doing a good job and you allow yourself to feel that that sense of success in that sense of integrity when other people recognize it in you sometimes our greatest confidence has come from having a community of supporters and so you don't have to wait for those supporters to show up go find them go mix go mingle get outside of the house live life again as you do that as you live life again what do you notice more integrity more momentum more competency more good people and suddenly that thing you were hoping one day you found that you found confidence no one day you wake up you found creatively you

Channel: Brendon.com

Views: 1,401,293

Rating: 4.9133358 out of 5

Keywords: motivational videos, motivation, the charged life brendon burchard the charge podcast motivational video inspiring video, motivational speaker, confidence, how to have more confidence, the charged life

Id: 0-vI3mBRkUk

Length: 11min 30sec (690 seconds)

Published: Sat May 31 2014