- If you ask me, "Julian,
develop one thing, like a pill, a pharmaceutical pill that would help humanity the most," what would it be? A pill that got you to stop caring so much what other people think. Like, that's literally
one of the top things that hold us back. Now, I'll share with you a story, and this is a friend of
mine, close friend, actually, who's into music, and he's
been trying to pierce through the music industry for
years, since I've known him. And he composes, he plays the guitar, he plays a lot of instruments, and he's actually quite creative. He sent me an Instagram link to a profile. He didn't tell me anything about this. He's like, "What do
you think of this guy?" And it was a profile that he just started. Now, I didn't know this. And it blew up. It's actually doing really well. And it's a random guy
wearing a mask, Kanye style, where you don't see the face, with a bunch of metal
spikes over around the face, playing the instruments,
singing a bit of a funk style, and it's doing really well. There's more comments
than he's ever gotten. He actually got signed. He's gonna tour in America in August. And I told him, like, "Is that you?" And he's like, "Yeah, dude. You're one of the first people I told." And this is after he got signed. I'm like, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He is like, "Ah, I just didn't know. I just, you know, here's me." And I told him, "You should have followed
my advice years ago. The number one thing holding
you back was always your face. Hide it, and look at that." (audience laughing) I'm joking, I'm joking. (audience laughing) No, what I actually said was, "Oh, that's actually awesome, 'cause there's an air of mystery around it where people can project onto you," right? Similar to Daft Punk, Marshmello. Do you really know who that person is? Deadmau5. Who is that? Now, sure, later on, once they're famous, you see their faces,
but there's this mystery where you can project that's
what that person looks like, that's what they sound like. And if you like the music, your mind will rationalize
something that you like. But on the other side, and this came about talking to a friend, he's
like, "Well, the other side is there's really no
social repercussions." And I was like, "That's interesting." And it's true if you think about it. He didn't tell anyone. He didn't tell his close friends. He didn't tell his family. Didn't tell his kid. Told me before his kid. (audience chuckling) So what does that mean? He can take a ton of risk and there's no repercussions. If he fails, what happens? No one knows. If people laugh at him, he goes out like metal
mask (imitating music) playing the guitar, and
everyone's like (laughing). Do his friend group, do they know? Does his family know? No. Do strangers know? No. So ultimately, he's invisible. And what did that allow him to do? And I saw this in the songs, I saw this in the videos that
he was posting, he was free. He was looser than I've seen him. He was dancing to his songs, singing in ways I've never seen him sing, acting in ways, I'm like, "Who is this?" Like, 5% of me was like,
is that really you? Really?
(audience laughing) I've never seen you like this. All because of the Kanye mask. Now, think about that with your life. Your goals, the things you hold back on, the things you're afraid
to take action on. How much of that is fueled by you being afraid of what
other people will think? What if I announce a
certain goal and I fail? What if I say I'm gonna
do this and you don't? What if I procrastinate? What if people laugh at me? What about this, this, this, this, this? Well, what if nothing
actually came back to you? How much freer would you act? How much more loud and
confident would you be? Why is that so scary,
what people think of you? Why are you so afraid of being disliked? Is it really that bad? For real. Think about it. I don't like you. How do you feel? Did you diminish, like, (imitating explosion) burst into flame? (imitating explosion) I don't like you. (audience members chuckling) It's just sounds. Why are you so scared of sounds? And it's not even that
different than I like you. I like you. We're like, oh. (blowing raspberry) Oh, shoot, aw. (audience laughing) I don't like you. (imitating explosion) What? I like you. (sighing) I don't like you. Why are you chasing sounds? Why does that matter so much? Now, you might say, "Well,
that's different, you're Julian. What about my family, and-" Why do you care so much what they think? You're the only one living your life. Anyone else living your life? What do you care? It literally has no impact, yet we're so conditioned to value this. Sing "Happy Birthday" as loud as you can. (audience laughing) - Uh, to who? - Everyone. ♪ Happy birthday ♪ Loud as you can. Loud as you can. ♪ To you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday, everyone ♪ (audience chuckling) ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ (audience applauding and cheering) Good job. But. (audience applauding) But, but, but, but, but, but, but. No, no, no, that was
great, but let's do better. Loud as you can. So notice- - I don't have a loud voice. - Doesn't matter. This is part of plan big, dreaming big. Also, taking up space. Think like, truly believing
I deserve to be heard. 'Cause that's thing, "I'm
taking up, oh, happy birthday. I'm sorry you have to listen to my voice. Happy birthday to you. No, no. ♪ Happy ♪ Like, loud. - Oh, I can't do that. - Well, let's do a
scream, loud as you can. (participant clearing throat) ♪ Happy Birthday to ♪ No, no, no, no, no, 20 times louder. 20 times.
- No, I can't. - You can. Don't say you can't. Why are you talking yourself down? - Because I can't. - You can. (audience member chuckling)
Yes. That is guaranteed. Like, okay, imagine you're in
the street screaming for help. You can scream louder than this. ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ Okay, now, great-
(audience member laughing) But it's a lot forcing it.
- Well, yeah. - Try to relax into that
while being as loud. - Because I-
- You can. Stop talking yourself down. Why?
(participant sighing) Why? Why are you keeping yourself in this cage, with your dreams, with
the expression, et cetera? Break it. This is the advice, no joke,
I would tell my daughter. I would say, "Why? Where did this come from?" - Because I want it to sound beautiful. - Why?
- I don't know what to talk about.
- It doesn't matter. Like, all you're gonna get is a sound. - Yeah. - You're gonna get this. (applauding) Yay.
(participant laughing) That's it.
(audience laughing) That's the outcome. - Oh, so- - And if you aren't even loud, all you'll get is, (clapping) yay. - Okay.
(audience members chuckling) - Those are the only two outcomes. There's nothing to gain, nothing to lose. And here's the key, claps
don't enhance your confidence, or self-esteem, or self-worth. You're invincible. Let that land for all of you. Me, okay, before this seminar, there's me. Here I'm talking. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, coach, coach, coach, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. Seminar ends, so you all clap. (clapping) Am I enhanced? Am I different? Yes, no? - [Audience Members] No.
- No, I'm still me. Now, what if I come in or,
clap, clap, clap, joke, everyone's offended and leaves. Am I still me? - [Participant] No. - Yeah, I'm still me. (audience laughing) Nothing enhances me or
diminishes me, I'm still me. I just get a different sound. Yay. (applauding) (gasping) Can you believe he said that? That's the only difference. Same here. Rewind back to what I was talking about with my friend with a mask. What if there was a mask
here, no one knew it's you, would you act this way? (Julian breathing heavily) - I don't feel like that. - I don't like that. Oh, I just can't. You have the spiked mask. You are free. You, younger you- - I wouldn't scream, I
would sing beautifully. - You could, but you would
also be able to scream. Guess what? If I asked my daughter to sing
beautifully, she'll do it. If I ask her scream, make a funny face, (blabbering) she would do it. - Yeah. - And that's the thing,
choice versus obligation. When you're truly free, you can choose, I'm gonna choose to sing
like this, I'm gonna be this. But if someone said, "Hey, okay,
scream as loud as you can," you'd be able to. Versus, (gasping) I can only act this way. My range is limited. There are boundaries to
the range of expression. Remove the boundaries
and be able to choose. That's the difference too
between someone who's quiet and charismatic and someone who isn't. Quiet and charismatic
is someone who's quiet, but if they had to be loud, they could. Someone who's quiet but not charismatic is someone who's quiet because that's the only option they have. They're afraid of being loud. Let's get a scream, ah. As loud as you can. - Scream ah, or scream "Happy Birthday?" (audience member chuckling)
- Scream ah. Let's go to scream. - Yeah, okay. Oh, that's, yeah, all right. That's not easy. - That's resistance talking. Just do it. (participant sighing) Ooh, we see resistance taking over. (growling) Stay small. (audience chuckling) Holds back. Don't let them hear you. (growling) (audience laughing) That's resistance, it happens. You see it visibly like (growling) hijack the body language and the voice. Who's gonna win, you or resistance? (audience chuckling) - No, of course me. Of course me. - Scream as loud as you can. - Ah! - Good. Give her a hand, everybody. (audience applauding and cheering) Really good. Challenge to you, though. Is that really as loud as you can go? (audience members chuckling) - Uh, that was 80%, 90 maybe. - Let's get 100. Three- And remember this, try to relax into it. There's force, ah, and there's power, ah. - Ah. - Relax into it.
- Okay. - Three, two, one. - Ah! - Good.
(audience chuckling) No, don't doubt, own it. - That was really powerful.
- Let's do more. 20 times louder. - Oh no. (clearing throat) - It's the scene in a movie. Ah. - Ah! - Good.
(audience applauding) Great. But- - No. - I'm not taking away
from it, that was great, but do you still feel the
resistance in the voice? - Let loose. - No. - Say no.
(audience laughing) - You wanna do something funny? Let's do this. Hold this in front of your
face, scream as loud as you can. So no one can see you, and
then scream as loud as you can. Ready? Three, two, one. - Ah! (audience cheering and applauding) - Interesting, ah? (audience applauding) - Ooh. - Notice how loud that got. (audience member chuckling) Just by hiding the face. - Was it louder? - [Audience Members] Yes, much louder. - It went through this. There's a hole in it somewhere now. It's like it's-
(audience laughing) But you notice? - [Audience Member] Uh-huh. - Now, this is just
purely expression wise. Rewind back to the friend
of mine with a mask. Rewind back to you and yourself. How small are you playing? Imagine there was that imaginary (whistling) mask or cape in front of you. How much harder would you go? Let's do one last one with you. - Oh my goodness. - Loud as you can, halfway
through, I'm gonna pull it away. Three, two, one. - Ah! - (groaning) I pulled
away a little too soon. You got this. I'll keep it the whole time. One, two, three. - Ah! - Give her a hand. Yes. (audience applauding and cheering) Amazing. (audience applauding) - Tomorrow my voice is gonna be just like after a music festival. - That's okay. You have a reference,
nothing bad happened. You were loud. - Ooh. - Yeah, you didn't have
to hold back, you're free, and no negative outcomes. It was all in the mind. Any final words? I know you wanna run
off, before you run off. - Yes. - Or any questions for me? - No, not really, but
that's a great experience. (audience laughing)
- Yeah, it is, yeah. - I actually enjoyed it. (audience laughing) - Give her a hand. (audience applauding and cheering) Do you wanna know one more? Here's one more I'll give all of you. I give this to my clients. Try one day, I call this
the toothpick challenge, one day, go out with a toothpick. You know what that is? (clicking tongue) Stuff outta your teeth. Take a toothpick in the plastic bag and put your timer for 30 minutes. So you have a 30 minute timer,
you go out in the street, and start walking up to
strangers and ask them, "What will you give me in
exchange for this toothpick?" Now they might say, "Nah, nothing." Then you go to the next person,
"What will you give me?" And maybe someone will be like, :I don't know, here's a piece of gum.: Then you give 'em the toothpick,
you take the piece of gum. You take the piece of
gum to the next person, "What'll you give me
for this piece of gum?" "Oh, here's a tissue." "Great. What'll you give me for this tissue?" And you keep trading up for 30 minutes. And at the end of the 30
minutes, see what you got. Now, this will teach you a lot. One, in terms of opportunities
and how we play small. Meaning when I have my clients do this, the results at the end are insane. I've done that at live events where people walked in with a full pizza, from a toothpick.
(audience chuckling) And if you think about
it, what's a toothpick? It's negative value. What are you asking the person? Can you throw this toothpick away for me and give me something? 'Cause who's gonna take a toothpick from a stranger and use it? (audience laughing) No one. Now, think about it, from a toothpick negative
value to a pizza in 30 minutes. What could you do
starting with who you are and where you are in life
and what you have in life? Opportunities are endless. The only thing holding
us back is blind spots, 'cause we're afraid in
our own limitations. And that's all stuff you can let go of. For real. Like, guess what? Being very modest, during this exercise, if I was transported your body, do you think I could do better
than you and louder than you? - Hmm. - Yes. - Probably a little bit. - Yes.
(audience laughing) Not 'cause I'm better than you. - No.
- But simply because I don't have the same experiences, blind spots, and stifleness. That's it. Think of anyone you look up to. What if they were transported
in your body right now? They're you. They live where you live, they
deal with what you deal with. Could they do better with you
than you with the external? Yeah. Once more, not 'cause they're smarter, not 'cause they have
anything you don't have. Like, there's nothing missing
in terms of your faculties. They simply don't have the
same conditioning than you. That's it. And that's stuff you can let go of. And that's a lot of success. It's not adding more. We're so quick to just
add, and add, and add. Remove. To be loud, you don't
have to learn anything. You were probably louder as a kid. All of us were. Do you need to learn how to be loud? No, you need to unlearn,
you need to let go. So think just here in
terms of this reference, well, what if apart from
just screaming and volume, I went for my dreams? And that starts with
allowing yourself to dream, and don't talk yourself down. And don't add limitations, oh, I need to make the money first, I need to be rich, I need this. No, you don't. Put the finish line behind you. Live life as if you've
passed the finish line and realize there's no finish line. What you think will happen when
you're rich is conditioning. And think about it, linking
it to Disney movies. Everyone knows happily ever
after, the happy endings? - [Audience Member] Yes. - Yeah. I've watched all the Disney movies, all the Disney princesses,
I know them all. (audience laughing) I have two daughters. I know them like the back of my hand. Every movie ends, again,
little different now with the more recent ones, but
with the happily ever after. But what happens the day after that? Think about it. Little mermaid sails off into
the sunset under the rainbow. Prince Eric. The dad's like, waving,
and the fish are there. And what happens the day after? Are they still waving
and in a blissful state? Even think of Ariel and the Prince. You're out there, looking at the sunset. "We're finally married." (sighing) "Look, they're waving." An hour later, are they still staring now? No, an hour later, it's like, (sighing) "What now?" And life continues. What happens after the
day, the happy ending day? Prince Eric fucks Ariel's sister. (audience laughing) Drama happens. (chuckling) They forgot to do this,
they get into an argument. Life keeps lifing, that's the point. So instead of thinking there's this glorious
ending, put it behind you. Okay, you're now sailing
off into the sunset. - Thank you. (chuckling) (audience applauding) - Well, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait. (audience laughing) Why are you- Last thing, 'cause I would let you go, but why are you so quick to jump off? What's so scary? Why are you so uncomfortable up here? We're chilling. I'm chilling, I could be here for hours. Why not you? So the last thing we'll
dive into, I promise. I said that before, but I promise. (audience laughing) Why is this so uncomfortable? Eyes on you. What's scary about being seen? - Mm. Nothing when you ask about it like that. - Yeah, but what does the
other part of you think? It's the right answer,
give me the real answer. - (sighing) I'm sweating. - Me too. (audience members chuckling) - So we're really not comfortable. - Why? - At, yeah, people. - They're sweating too,
everyone's sweating. (participant chuckling) - Do you trust people? - No. - Why? (gasping) Why? - Yeah. Child trauma.
- When did that start? - Okay. - Yeah. - So that'd be something to dive into and let go of.
- Yeah. - The fear of, again, people. Can you open yourself up to the world? Let go, let go. But let's do this, let's at least get a final standing ovation
right in the middle. Take it in. Everyone give her a hand. Come on. (audience applauding and cheering) Yes. (audience applauding and cheering) Amazing. (audience applauding and cheering)
