How To Get The Real Taste Of Happiness Removing Depression | Mufti Menk

my beloved brothers and sisters it is indeed a pleasure and an honor to be speaking to you this evening once again and to be in this beautiful country the island here of Trinidad mashaallah and at the same time to be given this opportunity by allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to speak about something extremely important it is very very important for us to know that the religion we follow Islam is a way of life it does not have rules and regulations only connected to one aspect of living but in fact it includes every aspect of living and if we were to live according to Islam we would actually be very happy people many people today are depressed because they earn through the week and they spend that money in the weekend on clubbing perhaps at a nightclub sometimes they waste it on something that would result in the depletion of their money the same weekend or the end of the month depending on when they get paid and then they are depressed once again because they need to start from scratch they start earning again and they waste that money once again and this life becomes so depressing because they are getting nowhere they are getting absolutely nowhere we are so upset with this life it's all about a show I must show the rest of the world exactly what I don't have I must pretend that I am someone that I am NOT I need to show the world and that's what would make me temporarily happy whereas as muslimeen you are taught to be yourself those who love you based on what you look like exactly without having made yourself up in a way that you don't look like what you are supposed to be looking like then it's unfortunate it's actually something really sad when a person gets to that level but those who love you for who you are without changing yourself are the genuine people they are the ones who will bring a true smile to your face a person who can tell you that he or she loves you as you are when you wake up first thing in the morning they really love you subhanAllah but for those who look at you when you're perhaps at a shopping mall or on the streets and you're all made up and that's what they like it's the makeup they like I'm so sorry to be speaking about makeup the second time today like I said I'm not saying it's Haram but the obsession people become so obsessed with some of these things that they forget to focus upon the reality of life the day they don't have that they become depressed they wouldn't even like to answer the door so when it comes to Islam it teaches us to be who we are your identity you're supposed to be a person what you see is what you get subhanAllah when I pray I must pray with my heart that heart needs to be cleansed a lot of people pray but their heart is not cleansed it means there is something wrong with this prayer of yours there is definitely something wrong with the prayer the reason is if you prayed correctly to Allah it would clean your heart it would soften your heart you would learn to love the rest of the creatures of allah subhanahu wata'ala starting with mankind so if you are compassionate to other human beings it means your prayer is in order but if you are not there is something wrong with your prayer he or she who is linked to his maker definitely a better person he or she who is linked to his maker is definitely a better person to the rest of the creatures of the same maker remember that so when we become horrible to those whom we live with there is something wrong with our link with Allah with our link with our own maker when we are horrible to our parents to our children to our brothers and sisters to our uncles and aunts to our in-laws to our relatives when we are not patient with them when we are not tolerant of their different ways and habits sometimes it could mean we have a problem with ourselves and this is why my brothers and sisters life is a struggle to become a better person no matter who you are no matter what level of spirituality you think you are upon you will never be upon perfection so keep on working keep on trying harder keep on perfecting your relationship with the rest of mankind sometimes people come to me complaining complaining about their children you know my son he's disobedient but to be honest with you sometimes sometimes it's the parents who don't treat their children correctly sometimes it's you my beloved father who is the problem it's not your son sometimes it's you my beloved mother who is the problem it's not your son or your daughter so as much as we say be obedient or be kind to your parents we have to tell the parents to be merciful to their children to understand what their children want and what Allah wants and how to strike a balance between the two if we all had perfect children from the beginning what was the point of us being in their lives we have to help them we have to help them grow up understand things looking at things from a certain angle certain perspective being able to get along with other people understanding that not everything you want you're going to get but the problem the problem what the parents is there are times we don't understand that this is actually a child who belongs first to Allah and then Allah has given me the chance to say that the child temporarily belongs to me too ultimately our children belong to Allah he made them in the first place he gave them to us may Allah bless those without children with children may Allah bless those who don't have children with children say I mean mashallah but at the same time those who do have children those children are Allah's they belong to Allah you have them for a moment for a short period of time if he wants he can take them away before you or he can take them away in infancy childhood teenage or a little bit later that is Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala and it's his decision it goes to show that he is the owner he is the one who owns you and I he dis when I'm going to return to him it's his decision and at the same time whether or not I will have children is his decision so Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala has kept rules and regulations for us I want to speak about something very important today many of us are searching for happiness many of us are searching for contentment contentment lies in adopting what the Almighty says we should be adopting never be selfish when you are selfish you cannot be content remember that when you are selfish you cannot be happy when you reach out to others you become happy when you see the smile on the face of your daughter-in-law that's when the mother-in-law will be content and vice versa sorry to give you that example when you see the smile on the face of the orphan that is when you will be happy but that often happens to be a child perhaps even of your own brother who may have passed away he often happens to be a child whom you are connected to many of us when a father passes away leaving behind little girls for example we tend to usurp their wealth we cheat the women we cheat the little girls regarding what the inheritance the estate the estate of the deceased whereas Allah has given them a share the brothers sometimes are unfair to their own sisters the uncles are unfair to their nieces sometimes so if a person wants to be happy himself fulfill the rights of these little orphans if Allah tells you through the Blessed lips of muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam of the importance of looking after these orphans and how you can earn paradise through fulfilling the rights of widows and orphans then obviously we need to take it seriously the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says anna wa kafa luleå team akane evil Jenna myself and the one who looks after the orphans will be like this in paradise and he showed the two fingers bringing them together so if you're going to look after the orphans you will definitely be a person who's happy if you're selfish you won't be happy so I want you every one of you and myself included to put a smile on the face of someone else every single day a person who may be connected to you your spouse to start with imagine think up ways of making your husband smile think up ways of making your wife smile mashallah think up away an idea even if it means to take the microphone away from the emcee if she smiled I've achieved by the will of allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala think up ways of making your children smile think of ways of making your parents smile subhanAllah many of us probably lost we're lost for ideas know sometimes if you don't know how to make them smile break into a smile yourself and see what happens subhanAllah just break into a smile and they will start smiling back at you mashallah Tabarrok Allah that's what it is so Allah has kept a smile contagious because you don't have to say things sometimes you can do something and you don't have to do something complex you can do something very very simple to make them smile but the problem is we've become selfish it's all about myself I'm searching for happiness happiness lies in making others happy that's where happiness lies we are sad because we make everyone depressed they are upset because of us we block their lives we stop the good things they want and then how do we expect good things to come to us right reach out to others do something for them your time your effort your energy your expertise use it to help people it should not only be about yourself the reason why so many people are depressed on earth today is because we are all living for ourselves we want to earn we don't want to reach out with our earnings our time is for ourselves we come home from a long day at work and we spend our time on the mobile phone when your wife and your children or your husband and so on have been waiting for you all day sometimes more than a day depending on how you work and you come back and you're on your phone doing what nothing that phone can be set aside set aside your phones for two hours every they set it aside a lot of you might say I can't do that well for one hour set it aside switch it off off put it on flight mode and you know what you'll enjoy a beautiful journey without even going out of your house you will be talking to those you are supposed to be talking with I promise you write it down or make a mental note of it switch your phones off for one hour inside the house when you are with your family members switch it off not because you want to hide something illicit no ho no it should be for the right reasons the reason is you would like to communicate with people you are supposed to be talking to if you died there and then they would be responsible to make sure you are given a decent burial so this is why we say people are depressed because they've become selfish that's what it is when I earn it's about me that's it this is my money that's I want to save up for my things take out a little bit give it to a charity take out a little bit reach out to those who don't have anything take out a little bit give it as a gift to someone give a little bit of pocket money to your child making sure that you've taught the child how to spend and I'm not saying a large amount I'm not saying give you a child a large amount so that he or she gets spoiled in a way that tomorrow when you don't have it they turned to Haram means to earn it but I'm definitely saying once in a while they deserve to be spoiled subhanAllah don't be selfish go out and greet people go out we heard of go we heard a few moments ago about how the RO you team goes out to give hampers to the pool well join them once at least once and guess what bring some hampers yourself contribute in Chile and then go out with them see how you feel when you see homeless people living under the bridges and the flyovers of your own City for example living in ghettos and slums who don't even have food and you've given them one meal once only once you've reached out to them with a meal trust me you will smile for a long time it will bring about a feeling within you that humanity will return to you that something a lot of us have lost to do good is not difficult but we need to think about it be in good company and you will notice how you feel good because that good company will remind you about reaching out to others today my brothers and sisters there are so many of us do you agree many mashallah you've come out in large numbers by the will of allah subhanahu wata'ala there is a sickness we won't greet anyone unless we know them that's a problem the brothers as well as the sisters we go to the masjid the house of allah we don't greet people unless we know them Oh unless they're someone someone big the who's who you know the wealth like I always say we greet the money not the person and the evidence of it is when they don't have money they no longer greeted her a tuna salmon ooh a lemon in the Hammad oh I saw people inclined towards those who have wealth Wow they inclined towards them hey how are you doing man that's because he has those twenty dollars you know the minute it's gone no more greeting you you walk right past me uncle even if he greets you no more response no reply forget about greeting when people greet us we don't bother replying who greeting me me and the sister says yes I greeted you know and you just carry on mistake I think you've mistaken identity it's a sign of the hour do you know that where people will only greet because they know we are taught to greet everyone greet them smile at them those who don't know you could make day you don't know how depressed someone might be by greeting them by smiling at them by acknowledging them you may help them and as a result the Almighty will help you but the problem is we don't think this way we're selfish I've got a problem I'm stressed myself why should I greet the people well you want to de-stress greet them greet the people smile at them they won't even dream that you have a problem they will think mashallah this person's life is so beautiful they've got time to smile well they will start smiling too they will forget about their problem for a little while and guess what through that and the blessings of the good deed that you have done we call it Baraka through the Baraka of that beautiful deed you will be able to achieve that happiness and tasty we might hear what I am saying today but trust me you're going to go back home ten o'clock tonight and with your own family members you're going to sulk once again for what why go back home make a difference change things in the house call everyone sit them down and tell them from now on we're going to greet each other when I was young and up to this day I would greet my parents before I go to bed if they're there Salam alaikum and I'm gone to bed when I get up first thing in the morning assalamu alaikum I greet my parents but the new generation no way they not bothered about greeting their parents they will duck and dive and hide and they probably sitting on their iPads until midnight only God knows what they're doing where is all this gone where are the etiquettes gone the problem is with us they don't see us doing it so they don't do it oh we haven't taught them since they were young but learn to greet even those in your own home the greeting in Islam as you heard a little bit earlier from shell mostly this greeting is absolutely important as Salam so start with it in your own home greet the people every time you enter whenever you come back home and every time you want to go to bed and whenever you get up greet say things it's a prayer it's a powerful prayer and smile and be good and learn not to be lazy laziness makes you depressed did you know that when you're lazy you don't want to do things you don't even want to turn off the light so now we're in the room and I'm telling my son to turn the light of anything but you turn the light off and we looking at each other and then we sleep with a light on mashallah electricity bill I'd rather pay but I wouldn't like to turn off that light why we're both lazy may Allah forgive us I hope you don't think I'm talking about myself but anyway it happens in our homes we become lazy no one wants to get up you know to make the coffee for example and I'm not saying it's just the job of a female no the males to sometimes need to get up and do something you can make the waffles can't you on a Sunday morning you can make the eggs in the breakfast on a Sunday morning can't you look at them look at them no Nadia no nothing no acknowledgement la vaca bar come on can't you make eggs can you not make eggs Oh Masha Allah now they saying yes hamdulillah don't worry you're on TV they're gonna see who said yes and who didn't you're in trouble you better know how to make eggs by the will of Allah I'm sure you do but we become lazy it's laziness when you are selfless you contribute to that home it becomes a home of happiness because we smile and we plant a smile on the faces of others in the way that that smile just doesn't want to go this is what I mean subhanAllah once in a while do things spoil the people those you live with to start with and that's when you'll be able to do it with others what is the point of someone who wants to put a smile on the rest of the world but there's no smile on the faces of the their own family members you're helping the world to solve the world's problems by trying to help everyone else but in your own home you need help start off at home the best of those who are best at home first and then everywhere else don't be from among those who are hypocritical don't be from among those who procrastinate that's another problem you leave things okay I want to do this but I'll do it it's okay it's very early it's actually only 9 o'clock now I can do that maybe we'll see guess what will happen before you know it you'll be off to bed you'll be sleeping and then leave it for tomorrow and tomorrow never comes do you know that so when you want to do things do it not be lazy don't be lazy do it now get up and do something make a change you make it now this is why we say when you want to change when you want to repent to the Almighty you never ever say I will do it on Friday I will do it when the Rama ban starts I will do it at the end of the year I will do it when I go for Hajj you may never see that Hajj you may never see that Ramadan I will do it now and here I want to repent to the Almighty I want to quit my bad ways and habits happiness is snatched away through sin when you transgress against the commands of the Almighty your this is gone when you transgress your happiness is gone you don't know why am I not happy it's because you're sinning every day a person who's on drugs trust me they lead a very very depressed life the only time they might feel a little bit high is exactly when they're high that's it and once that high is no more you can tell them goodbye it's depressing it is it's very sad and it's a false feeling of happiness but in actual fact it is a sadness it is a depressive condition so all these sins that you'd like to give up give them up now and don't say you know what it might be so difficult and it might this if you have faith and conviction nothing is difficult you do it and trust me in an in no time you will feel so happy you will feel content you will gain your family once again you will gain your happiness once again things will start becoming in order it'll take a little bit of time be patient but Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala will guide you if you want to do things for the right reasons you will find the right solutions coming in your direction that you know the result of your action will be positive rather than negative my brothers and sisters these are just a few life skills these are a few tips but they are taken from your faith from Islam did you know that muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has taught us all of this and much more than all of this he's taught us not to be lazy not to procrastinate he's taught us to reach out to people to greet people to smile to create a positive vibe around you not negative anything happens and you look at the worst scenario when you look at people see the good in them the weakness with us we see the bad in people you see a sister you've had two problems with her that's it you put a cross next to her name you don't want to see her you see a brother you've had two issues with him that's it it's the end of everything put a cross on him no yes there may be some people who are bad company bad influence you've had many bad experiences you will greet you will respond to a greeting you may not want to associate more with them because they have negative vibes or a negative vibe around them in that sense there are people who perhaps are very depressing you may want to stay away but the initial greeting is important and let olive branches of utmost importance what I mean here is if you have had an issue you should always be open-minded to be able to solve the matter if possible give them the opportunity and I'm not saying that you need to give up what is right in order to solve the problem no you don't give what's right but you try and discuss it to be able to solve the matter if possible most cases we will be able to solve the matter sometimes we won't sometimes you might want to distance yourself but remember my brothers and sisters many of us have problems for petty reasons petty we look at the negative of a situation and we become depressed look at the positives so many things that happen in our lives that seem to be negative actually have been the most positive things that have ever happened in our lives I know of people who've been diagnosed with sickness and illness may Allah grant us all cure I mean and they come up and say I'm so sad I'm so depressed and you know you have a chat with them you talk to them and you remind them and one of the questions is did you use to pray five times a day before you were sick no I didn't now diagnosed do you pray five times a day yes well then that's something positive how can it be well you pray you call out to the Almighty yes and sometimes if you haven't yet done that if you haven't yet turned your you know turned away from your bad if you haven't yet turned away from your bad habits perhaps the Almighty might keep you in that condition a little bit longer it softened your heart you become a family you saw people dedicate something happens you break a glass in a store for example how do you talk to the people I'm so sorry oh I'm so sorry I really I didn't you know I'm that's how you would say things right what did you do you made an expression you wanted to perhaps strike a chord in the heart of the person you're talking to and you apologized but in our own homes no express apologies we don't we're not interested in striking any chord it's like you know what come here come here I want to show you what you did come here relax now allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala grant us that relax masha'Allah may Allah help us in a way that we can smile we can also address the people in our own homes who've broken things the way we would like to be addressed when we break things elsewhere think about how you talk think about the expression on your face this is the problem sometimes we say I've got a clean heart but the way we say it is so ugly it's a dirty way of saying it I've got a clean heart if you think I've got a dirty heart you've got a look at the expression on your face so scary come on may Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala guide us what I've told you today is very simple but I promise you we will still go home and not practice upon it and that's why we're not getting anywhere we're not happy we still won't achieve that happiness we don't want to develop a link with Allah we don't want to develop a link with the rest of the creation of Allah we don't want to help out we don't want to smile we don't want to reach out to people we still won't greet people we don't know we will walk out of this stadium today and we still won't greet people only those we know and sisters to greet those sitting nearby to smile at them to make them feel happy we have a problem even in the Masjid can I tell you what happens you have the brothers who are regular goers for prayers they go regularly sometimes and even the sisters some of them who are you know fulfilling their prayers and so on when a person walks in sometimes who's not usually there or who doesn't look who doesn't look like what we would have expected a person who prays to look I don't even know what that's supposed to be but a person doesn't look like us and we give them a dirty look they're not welcome here if you are welcoming to someone who's coming to the Masjid for the first time in their lives well llahi that could just be your ticket to paradise a few days ago I was in Malaysia and someone actually told me that they hated a place of worship a Masjid to pray and they were not properly dressed they were you know not looking like a Muslim should be looking and their life changed because the people welcomed this person and said oh you're most welcome and smiled and made them feel at home Wow and I'm busy thinking wow I was listening to this those people this could be their ticket to paradise you change somebody's life but when they come even for a religious talk sometimes religious talk in the Masjid or and you have people sometimes who've come there just to listen to what's happening the way we treat them the way we look at them we make them feel like you're not welcome here what are you doing here if that's the case you've just snatched your own happiness away that's what you've done but smile at them make them feel happy the next time you will see them in a better condition the next time you might see them somewhere else maybe at the beach you might see them in a condition where you need help and they came to help you because they remembered you from somewhere but we stopped doing this this is why I challenge you today as you out please greet the people talk to them smile at them say one or two nice things oh how are you what's happening don't embarrass don't ask questions that's going to turn people away how much do you earn my sister you know he said ask a few questions I want to know how much do you earn how much do I earn where do you work you don't need to know where I work all these questions are known as excess that which is going to chase people away you don't need to know anything sister how much do you weigh come on way that's the last thing you ask a woman in fact nowadays the men are becoming conscious of it may Allah forgive us so when I say ask a few questions I mean how are you doing Mashal I'm so glad to see you here did you enjoy the talk mashallah what are the points you thought were good man oh you don't need to ask what are the points you thought were good but you can say I thought it was okay I thought it was you know this point was good and that point was good and I'm going to work on that by saying that you've already made someone feel a sense of identity I'm a human being they might think the same points you raised a valid for themselves at the end of the day were human beings but the difficulty is okay we heard it was a good talk we'll go home and we'll say it was a good talk it was a good talk we come back next year we'd say last year was a good talk but nothing happened your life didn't change nothing happened to you zero if that's the case we're getting nowhere absolutely nowhere but even if you don't tell people it was a good talk but your life has changed people will know it was a good talk because they've seen that it has impacted on my life times we want to see a speaker oh I want to see this person I really desperately want to see that shape and that shake for what what's the purpose why what's the big deal well if that's going to change your life because you're going to hear a good word and you're going to seize the opportunity to be shaken then indeed it was worth it but if not and it was just all to become famous you know taking a selfie with the Sheikh for example making me famous what's the point like they say some people are known in the heavens and not known on earth no one knows about them but the Angels know them very well because of the good they do and others are well known on earth but they're not known in the heavens because they've done nothing grand may allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala not make us from the latter so my brothers and sisters I'd like to continue tomorrow on a different note all together I want to speak tomorrow about gaining closeness to allah subhanahu wata'ala and achieving forgiveness of allah subhanahu wata'ala and having hope in the mercy of allah subhanahu wata'ala because that is a beautiful topic we all want hope we all want to feel that Allah loves us there is a way to do that there is a way to achieve that but for now I'd like you to reach out to the rest of the creatures of Allah starting with human beings and I end by saying do you know there is a narration not one but several narrations that make mention of people who were granted entry into paradise by being kind to a dog or a cat or some animals I'm sure you know of those nurse to a cat the woman who was quite sinful and paradise kindness to a dog the man who was quite a bad guy and paradise when I say a bad guy I mean he didn't really have many good deeds but he was kind to a dog and the sister was kind - or the lady was kind - a cat if kindness to a dog and the cat can get you paradise what do you think kindness to another human being who's not a Muslim will get you good question and if kindness to another human being was not a Muslim would get you to paradise what do you think kindness to a Muslim would get you and if kindness to a Muslim would get you paradise then what do you think kindness to a family member would get you and if kindness to a family member would get you paradise then what do you think kindness to your own spouse would get you we all want paradise but please let's try and work towards it may allah subhanahu wa ala bless you all subhanahu wa'ta'ala grant us all acceptance and may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us the love that we are supposed to be feeling for one another may allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala help us work according to that love within his pleasure and may allah subhanahu wata'ala gather us in Jannah or sallallaahu wa sallim wa barik ala nabina muhammad subhanAllah Hemnes from Chanukah l'homme of ham dick Allah Allah Lanta

Channel: The All-Loving

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Keywords: Islam, Deen, Mufti Menk reminders, Mufti Menk, Ismail ibn Musa Menk, mufti ismail menk, Mufti Menk lecture, fans of Mufti Menk, happiness, serenity for mind, roots of depression, how to get rid of depression, contement in life, the all-loving, the all loving, depression mufti menk, mufti menk depression, how to remove depression and anxiety mufti menk

Id: ZUp469GbK78

Length: 37min 39sec (2259 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 19 2017