Plato is one of the most representative philosophers
of ancient Greece, belonging to its Classical Period and he is one of the most known philosophers
of all time. He was one of the first thinkers who addressed
the concept of soulmate. For Plato, a soulmate is someone with whom
we feel a very strong affinity, and the love we feel for that person goes beyond physical
attraction. A soulmate is someone with whom we can be
ourselves, in our complete nature. For Plato, romantic love is deemed to be of
a higher metaphysical and ethical status than sexual or physical attractiveness alone. The idea of romantic love initially emerged
from the Platonic concept of love as a deep affection, through which we can contemplate
the real beauty of our being - and of the world. This beauty is not limited to physical beauty,
but also involves a spiritual kind of beauty, Plato calling it “the Form of Beauty”. For Plato, the love of beauty culminates in
the love of philosophy, the subject that pursues the highest capacity of thinking. Plato was born into an aristocratic and influential
family and he founded the Academy, the first institution of higher learning in the entire
Western world. Along with Socrates, his mentor and Aristotle,
his student, Plato is one of the most influential individuals in the entire history of humankind. It can even be said that he is one of the
pylons of Western civilization. As far as we know, almost all of his work
has survived the last 2,400 years, remaining very popular the entire time. Some of his most famous books include “The
Republic”, “The Symposium”, “The Apology of Socrates”, “Allegory of the Cave”
and “The Dialogues of Plato”. So keeping his teachings in mind, in this
video we bring you 5 ways to help you find your soulmate, from the philosophy of Plato: 1. Believe that there is a soulmate for you Plato said: “Love is born into every human
being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out
of two and heal the wound of human nature.” According to Greek mythology, in the beginning,
we were androgynous beings. In “The Symposium”, through the words
of Aristophanes, Plato described that in the beginning we had four arms, four legs and
a head with two faces. Fearing our power, Zeus split us into two
separate parts, condemning us to spend our lives in search of our other halves. Because of this split, we are severely wounded,
which makes us desire to find our other half in order to become whole and to prevent any
further suffering. This desire is what we call love, a desire
to reunite with the other part of ourselves. This wound can also be seen in a metaphoric
way. In our culture of consumerism, we look for
satisfaction in things that cannot provide real or lasting fulfilment. These false lures include material goods,
power, and fame. Instead of denying this longing, this ‘wound’,
we would be better off accepting it. According to Aristophanes, if there is a soulmate
and we do not recognise its existence, we might neglect this wound, pretend it is not
there, chase unfulfilling goals, get involved in random relationships, or stop believing
in true love, resulting in an ultimately unhappy life. That being so, a life devoted to any of these
goals becomes quite miserable and empty. Thus, the first step in finding your other
half is to believe that you have a soulmate, that your longing has purpose. If we recognise its existence, we are that
much more likely to be more careful and deliberate when we choose our partner. If you know there is someone out there who
compliments you perfectly, then jumping into or staying in a relationship simply for the
sake of being in that relationship, becomes a markedly less attractive proposition. It is important to have an idea of the form
of love you want to experience, how it should make you feel, what kind of qualities the
other person should have that can resonate with your character. Throughout his work, Plato argues that focusing
on an ideal version of something is one of the most useful kinds of thought exercise
we could practice. If you knew what something was truly like
in its ideal form, you would then know what you need to do to or improve to reach there. You can start by making a list of traits and
values you think you would enjoy in your ideal partner. Perhaps you are attracted to a similar sense
of humor or someone who is athletic and into sports, or maybe someone who holds strong
political beliefs. No matter what the trait is, consider how
you might be able to embody that trait yourself. If you work on yourself in this way, qualities
that you find attractive, then you increase your chances of meeting somebody who shares
your outlook and values. You shouldn’t settle down until you find
your soulmate. For example, before settling down with somebody
you are attracted to but have no idea of their other, less overt character traits, give it
a few more months, spend time living together if at all possible, until you make sure they
really are ‘the one’ and then take things to the next stage. The longer you cement a relationship, the
harder it becomes to break up. Caution is thus a golden rule when it comes
to relationships, it can prevent you from making rash decisions in life which could
leave you even more wounded. Heal your wounds first, work on developing
yourself, retain and recall that list of qualities you look for in a potential partner and continue
to commit yourself to the same standard. Do this and you will be much better equipped
to spot and avoid a potentially bad relationship. 2. Cultivate friendship According to Plato: “He whom love touches
not, walks in darkness..” For Plato the best kind of philia - or friendship
- is that which lovers can have for each other. Therefore, for Plato, love is the best kind
of friendship and it is important for it to be the basis of any relationship. Plato considered that to live for truth and
authenticity is what really matters and through friendship and love we can get inspired to
follow such ideals. Where there is friendship and honesty in relationships,
there might be true love. Aristophanes, in Symposium, emphasizes that
if everybody found his or her soulmate, the world would be at its happiest. A soulmate should first be a friend, then
a lover, somebody with whom you can share your joy and troubles. The best situation is when the two partners
share the same values and principles in life or, if not, at least they should respect the
other’s opinion or way of living. It is highly important to cultivate friendship
and respect inside a romantic relationship from the start. When built on a solid foundation of friendship,
a relationship can last a lifetime. A real soulmate would never intentionally
cause you deep suffering and despair. A soulmate is supposed to make you happier
and more confident in yourself to overcome life’s challenges. When we engage in a relationship, it is important
to observe whether or not the partner is really your friend. Do they make you feel more powerful and able
to overcome life’s challenges? Or do they give you sleepless nights, worries,
anxiety, and make you feel unworthy of respect and love? Don’t settle for a relationship which brings
you down, which causes you harm. This is especially important for toxic relationships,
when one of the partners feels abused but still feels they can’t leave. In such cases, it is better to contact a professional
to help you navigate through such situations. Always go towards friendship and happiness. The successful relationships are not those
of mad passion and destructive tendencies, but those that are built steadily, that look
mundane on the outside, based on friendship and mutual respect. 3. Feel safe, like you belong To quote Plato: “the two are struck from
their senses by love, by a sense of belonging to one another, and by desire, and they don’t
want to be separated from one another, not even for a moment. ” Being two parts of a whole, the partners would
feel a strong feeling of belonging. After endless searching, they finally found
one another and they do not want to spend another moment apart. Plato, through Aristophanes, affirmed that
Eros, the Greek god of erotic love is the best friend of men, the helper and the healer
of ills, it is the power of love that makes us feel whole again. Having our being reunited, we feel more at
home, more secure and loved and this positive feeling can heal our wound caused by the split
made by Zeus. When we are separated, we feel kind of lost,
having only one side, like “a flat fish” in the words of Aristophanes. Only when we find our soulmate can we get
that sense of belonging, of feeling at home. Also, when we have such a connection with
our partner based on friendship, we will try to be gentle with them, we would not be capable
of betraying, lying or manipulating. Real love empowers us to see the good in each
other. Such a partnership is like re-finding yourself,
a soulmate can make you feel like you are authentically yourself, you’ld feel comfortable
and safe. It is not like a relationship from a Hollywood
movie, full of conflict and drama, it looks more mundane. A soulmate doesn’t judge you harshly, will
let you be yourself and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. They would never criticize you in a malicious
way and they would not prefer your absence over your presence…well Most of the time
anyway! As fulfilling as it can be being together,
it is vital to any successful relationship to give each other space and personal time
as well, to respect each other, to not interfere negatively with other areas of their lives. For example, when they have to work extra
hours at their job, you need to be understanding of their situation. Or if there is an event around one of their
hobbies that you don’t share, having the confidence to let them go on their own and
indulge their passions can be hugely beneficial to a happy relationship. If we don’t do things apart how will we
ever have new stories to tell each other? In order to avoid arguments, it is important
to understand your partner’s priorities in life. There will be moments when your partner has
to focus on something else and you need to respect your partner’s goals and lifestyle. The best support one can offer to their partner
is a peaceful home where the other can return again and again to replenish their power,
feel understood and loved. Therefore, try to talk to your partner, understand
their short and long term goals in their career, building a family, their personal interests
and so on. Respect your partner's wishes and interests,
but don’t forget to communicate yours as well. For example, suppose to get a promotion at
work your partner might need to work 10 hours a day plus weekends whilst also building their
reputation on the side. Rather than sit at home, stewing over being
left alone, only to explode into bitter argument, understand and respect their choice and find
a solution of your own. Indulge your hobbies, find local activities
to do alone or with friends. Fill your time in ways that bring you happiness
instead of arguing with your partner for not spending enough time with you. A home where your interests and goals are
interwoven and that you are mutually accepting of helps in creating a peaceful home where
both of you can feel that you belong, where both you feel loved and respected. 4. Climb the ladder of love
Plato teaches us that: “Evil is the vulgar lover who loves the body rather than the soul,
inasmuch as he is not even stable, because he loves a thing which is in itself unstable.” In the beginning, just after the split, humans
were living miserably, feeling very hurt from the wound and wandering to find their other
half. Zeus, feeling guilty for splitting us in two,
transformed our body after the split, leading us to find physical pleasure in bonding with
different people: Zeus turned our sexual organs to the front, so we might achieve some satisfaction
in embracing others, not only our other half. According to the mythology, because of the
way Zeus made us, it is sometimes difficult to differentiate real love from physical attraction. Unfortunately, many people appear to live
mostly on the physical level, as if corrupted by the body, when they love, they love mostly
the physicality of their partner, not their personality. In Symposium, Diotima teaches Socrates what
love means. She explains that real love is achieved by
climbing through six steps of a ladder. There are many ways in which one can interpret
these steps. Some say these six steps are six types of
love. The first step of the ladder is a desire for
physical features. An individual tends to get attracted to what
is missing from their own body like being attracted to someone's smile or the color
of their partner’s eyes. Then the second step is Love for all bodies
which means realizing the physical beauty of others. An individual recognizes the physical features
that he is attracted to and understands that many others can have that beauty. Many others can have that kind of smile or
that color of eyes you are attracted to. Since bodies are so similar, it would be meaningless
to see physical beauty in just one individual. From this, the next step up the ladder is
to see the beauty that is beyond physical appearance. This step is called the love for souls. It can be achieved by appreciating the character
or the soul of your romantic partner. At this stage, one can fall in love with a
beautiful mind even if it's in a body that you wouldn’t typically find attractive. Then, the fourth step is known as Love for
Laws and Institutions which means together becoming interested in achieving kindness
and understanding of fellow human beings, in the betterment of our society in a compassionate
manner. The fifth step is called the Love for Knowledge. It is about realising that there is knowledge
to acquire everywhere and being interested in pursuing it, in science, in understanding
the laws of the universe. Then the sixth step, which is sometimes called
“love for love itself” means appreciating the beauty of this world, and this appreciation
and awe is what is called platonic love, which is to love the essence of what is really beautiful,
the true reality of this world. True love occurs at this last step, when you
just love for love itself, and don’t expect anything in return. The soulmate is one of the easiest human beings
to love without expecting anything in return. A soulmate can inspire you to climb this ladder
of love, which is why it is so important to share the same values with your soulmate. When we learn to appreciate that the beauty
of the soul is superior to the beauty of the body, we end up loving those who are beautiful
in their soul, regardless of their physical appearance. According to Diotima’s teachings; once you
reach the higher level, you could never go back to the lower rungs. Although it is normal to love beautiful bodies
at first, do not spend too many years there, try to start giving attention to people who
have a kind soul, whom you appreciate for who they are as a person. Do not just take a partner who is beautiful,
but really dig deep into each other’s personalities and work out if you fit well together, together. For example, ask important questions like
“what brings you the most happiness?”, “what makes you really angry?”, “what
is your biggest motivation in life?”, “what is your biggest regret?”, “what kind of
friends do you have?”, “what was the lowest point in your life?”, “what are your principles?
and so on”, and so on. By learning each other’s answers, and seeing
each other’s reactions, you can identify the real values you both hold and better understand
their character. Once you learn to appreciate the souls of
the people around you, it becomes that much easier for you to find your soulmate and to
continue climbing the ladder of love. 5. Reignite the poetry in your relationships In our final quote from Plato for this video,
he says: “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” Love often seems like madness. In Phaedrus, Socrates says that although madness
can be an illness, it can also be the source of man’s greatest blessings. The madness of love can make everyone a poet,
raising us to a higher level of existence from where we can admire the beauty of this
world and feel inspired. When we are in love, we transform, we start
to see more beauty around us, a sunset or the smell of a flower suddenly has a different
meaning. Love gives us wings to fly to another level
of existence, transforming the reality around us. Thus, we become poets when we are in love,
we start to see beauty in everything. Many of us remember what first love felt like,
many of us have written poems to our loved ones when we were teenagers! The “love from Aphrodite and Eros” is
such a kind of madness, which inspires us to glorify every moment of our relationship. However, as the years pass, we start to notice
we experience that rush of poetic inspiration less and less often, we become stuck in mundane
life; Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat. But the truth is it is within this normalising
of one’s relationship that the very best parts of it can flourish - Or languish into
nothing if not maintained. It becomes all-too-easy to stop appreciating
the special moments with our loved ones - a forgotten anniversary here, an ignored achievement
there. It can be hard to remember to appreciate the
presence of our soulmate when we also have to dedicate our time to work and family. Therefore, we need to pay attention to when
such inspiring poetic moments are missing from our life; Is the problem simply a lack
of time or bad planning, or are you actually - deliberately or subconsciously - avoiding
making time for each other? If it’s the latter you may need to decide
if your partner really is your soulmate, and if they are you need to put more energy and
focus into cultivating your relationship. Make plans just for the two of you regularly
- break the routine, re-connect and openly appreciate each other often, reminding both
of you just how much you matter and how special you are to each other. If you enjoyed this video, please make sure
to check out the full Philosophies for Life channel and for more videos to help you find
success and happiness using ancient philosophical wisdom, don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks so much for watching.
