How to find your Ikigai | Divas Gupta | TEDxIIMKashipur

[Music] i remember it was 2006 when i first fell in love there were violence all around and my heart would go on and on i had a reason to jump out of bed every morning and go to school dun the bell rang and we all packed our bags i used to sit on the second last row while she sat on the first row as she was the first one to move out of the class i hurried to make my way to reach out to her taking quick long steps to cover the distance i finally reached the parking lot where she was waiting for a friend to join him i stepped forward swallowed the saliva and said hi can we speak for two minutes how many of you looked at me with surprise some of you might have laughed while some would have empathized yes i could not speak properly i used to stammer it was a nightmare for me to speak with anyone but i wanted to be heard i wanted to be accepted but the fact was i could not speak properly you can guess what she would have said i was heartbroken i was dejected yes i was rejected again ladies and gentlemen i dreamt of being one in a million little did i realize that there were 70 million people across the world who stammer that means one in every hundred and i was one of them yes i was one of them who had a social disability which led to social exclusion were you ever socially excluded for being fat or for being shot in height or because you wear glasses or because you have a dark complexion were you ever socially excluded for not having a social status or for not being able to speak in english or for any other personal reason yes the world excludes us because we are not one of them we are not able as per them have you ever wondered how we can be able as for them well if you do things as per them then you are able how many times have you tried to do something just to be socially acceptable wondering well let me remind you of some common instances some of us chose sciences in our school days because socially we would be perceived as a smarter beings than the ones from commerce or arts background some of us oops many of us almost 1.5 million every year in india chose to study engineering because socially they were the accepted beings some of us married asked for the recommendation of our uncle next door and then even had kids as for another recommendation this time from the art next door even i chose sciences even i chose engineering it took time but i realized that not all roads that show on your external gps navigation system lead you to your destination sometime it's your gut that knows the way yes we all have that inner voice some ignore it while some suppress it you have to gather courage to listen and follow your voice i started trusting my inner voice that acted as my compass i no more listen blindly to anyone living next door i dared to counter my conditioning and started listening to the person living indoor so how was i able to follow my voice i had moved out of college and was interning with a software company with every line of code that i used to write i asked myself why did i choose engineering what am i doing with my life meanwhile i got a chance to read about ikigai the japanese secret to a fulfilled life and i asked these questions to myself i didn't know that my internal microphone was unmute and god was listening it was a friday evening when i first received an email with the subject line public speaking championship applications invited this email came from toastmasters international club i dared to listen to my inner voice and decided to apply for the championship so to qualify the first round we had to send a write-up on any one of the five topics mentioned in the email topic number one no topic number two no topic number three okay topic number four hmm man is born free but everywhere he's in chains this was for me i felt chained writing codes i felt suffocated spending hours in the computer lab seize the moment i could hear my inner voice again i sat and started writing for the first time i enjoyed my time that i spent inside that lab i wented out whatever i was feeling i experienced the flow state the next morning i summoned my speech and after few days the results were announced i was shocked my name was there in the list of shortlisted candidates but i couldn't celebrate fear had took over my excitement as now i had to deliver a five-minute speech in front of the seasoned public speakers and an unknown audience for someone like me it was not just five minutes but 300 seconds of public speaking yet again i could hear all the voices from all those who had bullied me who had laughed at me i could visualize all those moments when i had goofed up while speaking i had goosebumps and right now i can feel that moment i shared this with my friends and they were excited they backed me up and reinstilled faith in myself i had three days to prepare and i was having sleepless nights i was coding and i was thinking what if i go blank what if anyone laughs at me what if i get stuck yet again what if i dared to flip my mind and ask what if i don't go blank what if i make everyone laugh what if i don't get stuck this time i gathered courage and showed up for the championship my friends had assured me that they would join in to support me at least i would have few claps i thought i sat in the last row so that no one notices me contestant number four divas gupta i walked up to the stage and for the next 300 seconds i was living my dream time stood still i was in my flow state none of the scary what-ifs popped up and that day i spoke my heart out i finished my speech and went back to my seat as we listened to the remaining contestants i somewhere new that i have lost still we all waited my friends wanted to enjoy the complimentary hearty it was time to hear the results second runner-up is i felt like leaving that place first order up is why am i still sitting here i asked myself the winner is divas gupta i couldn't believe it i was surprised i got my first standing ovation after the award ceremony got over i came out from the hall and hurried to call up my dad dad your son is a champion he did not stammer today this is just the beginning my son you must be proud of yourself tears rolled down from my eyes as i listened to him i was beaming with confidence the support from my friends the belief of my parents and this unexpected win had made me more confident to listen more of my inner voice i looked back and said thank god she said no to me in school rejections are powerful yes they bring transformation provided you allow yourself to be transformed by that voice with time i gathered more courage and went against all social norms to go for an inter-religion marriage after trusting the voice for eight long years well this time it was easy for me as she chose to propose and i did not have to say can we speak for two minutes the winner toastmasters i had found my purpose to become a professional public speaker i wanted to help people speak effectively something which i had struggled with all my life i had experienced how it feels to speak out and express yourself and i wanted to do it for everyone following my inner voice today i have been able to train and inspire lacks of individuals from all over the world i had found my key guy my reason for being i knew why i do what i do i created a framework that could help many like me who were once lost and did not have the clarity so as to what they won't do in their life a framework that could help answer their questions like what's my guy what's my purpose why i do what i do how can i live a fulfilled life if you also want to get your answers you may follow my cruels framework that i have developed using my experience and research cruels or c rules is to challenge rules rules which are your status quo that limits your potential i know that this sounds rebellious but we all would agree that we all had to follow status quo because either we had no choice or we have no courage to stand up for what we feel is right so you may start with these two actionable steps number one start with developing courage you need not leave your job to find your voice explore yourself by mindfully trying different things that would help you find what you really enjoy doing for this you can join a hobby club online communities attend a webinar or even take professional help this may require you to move out of your comfort zone dare to move out in pursuit of finding your flow state now try out the easily available low hanging fruits for example if your inner voice says that you can be a public speaker then act as if you are a public speaker and host a party at home attend entertain and engage all the guests with your talk you never know that can be your first step towards a future ted talk small small wins would give you the courage step number two find your support system shuffle your inner circle and find your support system because you are aspiring to go against an outer circle that believes in status quo so you would need people who can actually understand and support you let this dependable inner circle make you accountable to take action and religiously do what you have set out for you see in spite of insecurity i dared to nominate myself for toastmasters because somewhere i had the backing of my friends my family and my girlfriend who is now my life partner for my mentees i'm always a part of their inner circle one of my mentees a senior leader with global experience of two and a half decades found her true calling and decided to follow her iga beyond our professional commitment i still hold her accountable and even she shares her progress as she feels one color at a time listening to her voice i have plot a graph for you to get more clarity about life on the y-axis we have listening to inner voice and on the x-axis we have time remember man is born free so that's where we all start our life where we listen to our inner voice as a child we cry when we want we laugh when we want and then comes the roller coaster life impacted by parents education society media which brings us down the slope by the time we try to listen to our inner voice we get no response remember man is born free but everywhere he's in chains you feel frustrated that in spite of matching with the given colors following the status quo you're not happy and then you make a conscious call and in pursuit of finding ikigai you try to find your higher self you try to find your voice now you may follow the cruels framework to go from this bumpy state to the next state as you change the state you inch closer to your voice i contested in toastmasters went for an intelligent marriage helped thousands of individuals speak better and live a fulfilled life thereby inching one step closer with every change of state this was my graph and now it's your turn to plot yours you have two options either change your reality or change your dreams either change your dreams and settle for less or change your reality and keep asking for more you are not just made up of red and blue there are infinite colors within you choice is yours you want to stick with the status quo and limit yourself to the primary colors or dare to listen to your inner voice and explore your color which is neither reddish nor bluish but uniquely you wish find your richie guy find your color until then stay awesome stay productive

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 21,931

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Life Development, Motivation, Positive Thinking, Purpose

Id: yPfRz3S3ulM

Length: 16min 16sec (976 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 17 2021