How To Deal With Bullying | Teacher Vlog

I want to talk about something today that's really important to me and actually is like very close to home for me as well so right from the jump I want to invite you to like leave comments and questions and further this conversation and parents educators kids we can talk about experiences maybe and see if there's anything else we can add to this conversation instead of this just being some sort of monologue it becomes a dialogue 1991 I answer high school I decide not to go to my neighborhood high school because I want to go to a vocational school upon arriving there I realized a couple of things one I am the minority in that school growing up I went to a school that was not very diverse everyone looked like me everyone's parents made about the same amount of money everyone came from about the same background when I got to high school it was much much different and I found myself in the minority for the first time in my life which wasn't bad in and of itself it's just that as a freshman in high school when you know absolutely no one in school the last thing you want to do is stand out and I did I stood out I was about as white-bread suburban as they come and to go into a school with where I didn't look like anyone and everyone was a lot tougher than I was was a challenge for me as a freshman turns out to the school that I went to was like a lot of kids like where they ended up getting kicked out of regular high school they would send these kids there to learn a trade I didn't know this I got there it was a little bit difficult my first day of school hearing that a kid got thrown through a window I remember going to the bathroom and there was a fight in there one two there were no mirrors on any of the walls in the bathroom known as the stalls head doors and I later found out his kids got in fights all the time before I went in to lunch I just show my ID because apparently the year before a kid came in with a pipe bomb and threw it in a trash can and blew up the trash can no the lunchroom and I remember getting my lunch tray on that first day waiting in line walking out to the lunchroom and I knew no one and I had no clue where to sit and it was terrifying and utterly embarrassing freshman year and sophomore year were really tough I got bullied every single day and when I say bullied I mean like I either got into a fight or I got my ass kicked every single day I was harassed constantly and I just could not find my mic blue I couldn't find my tribe in school to even feel a part of something sophomore year which is 1992 we have LA riots at breakout F after the Rodney King trial after the cops all got off and there's a lot of racial tension in my school one day I'm walking out in the back of my school to go to my bus and my friend is about 20 feet in front of me we noticed going through the doors there is a legit riot happening behind the school and walks out the door someone walks by with a pipe cracks I'm over the head and I immediately turn back around and go back into school and call my mom and tell her that just come pick me up cuz there's no way I'm getting on the bus the waves laughing that I left my friend yeah left my friend I was skinnier than a dead model man I wasn't gonna run around like trying to fight people I didn't come from that neighborhood I came from the neighborhood were like you had a problem with someone you called them out I met at the park at 3 o'clock we're gonna have a fight today after school three o'clock in the parking lot you try and run I'm gonna track you down you need getting some random fight in the hallway or beat somebody up in the bathroom out of nowhere so that was a tumultuous two years my sophomore year I finally found people that I connected with and I made friends and I ended up having a really great time that last two and a half years of that high school I never liked school but I really liked my friends and I had a good enough time all right fast forward about 200 years and I am in a different role but still back as a freshman in high school I am a ninth grade teacher of English in Camden New Jersey and on that first day I immediately thought of all the kids that were the little Me's that were coming to that school in that first day the kids that were worried because they didn't know anyone the kids that were afraid they were gonna get bullied the kids at that weren't super good or super bad they were somewhere in the middle and they flew right under the radar to the point where no one ever asked them about their day no one ever asked them who they were no one ever put a hand on their shoulder and asked how they were doing all of these kids were running through my mind on that first day of school and I knew that I was in a different position now to actually do something about them and so this is the perspective I want to talk about today real quick is what do teachers do about bullying we've all sat through those PD's we've all gotten the pamphlets we've had to look at the websites you've done the training about what to do about bullying but there's a couple of things that I do as a teacher now that I think might benefit you teachers and parents on the first day of school every single year I'm out front of the school greeting the kids as they walk in this does a couple of things one it makes me public I want to be as public a figure as I can be in school meaning I want everyone to know that I exist so that even the kids that I don't teach start knowing my face and see me around the school and becoming more comfortable with the sight of me in school it also lets me greet all of my homies that are coming back that year letting them know I'm excited I letting them know that even though I'm not your teacher again this year I'm still pumped I'm still excited to see and I still sight it for you when you start this school year other thing this is gonna allow me to do is as I'm shaking hands and hugging guys that I've talked before that are coming into the school the new students the incoming freshmen are seeing me with these older guys the ones that are respected the ones that they are they are going to ultimately look up to if they don't already and they're gonna see me shaking hands with those dudes and that just looks favorable upon me it's like a little boost for Who I am which is going to all come in handy in a moment the second thing I'm going to do in that first day is I'm going to greet every single person as they walk into my classroom I will shake every single hand of every kid that walks into that classroom and then as my introduction I'm not going to give them a bunch of rules and procedures on the first day or have them fill out questions about themselves or do get-to-know-you games which i think are all really great but I really like that first day to tell the kids how excited I am to tell them a little bit about Who I am why I'm there and how pumped I am to be their teacher and how I'm hoping to have the greatest year ever I then tell those students that they are constantly welcome in my room they can come in before school and have breakfast in my room they can come in during their study halls if they haven't period off they can eat lunch with me every single day and they can come in after school and hang for as long as they wish or at least until I have to leave this does a number of things too I want my room to be known as a safe space that kids can come in there even when they're not in class because that's what's gonna allow you those are the moments that are gonna allow you to connect with students and build relationships with that when you're not in the classroom when you're not needing to be on task we're sitting quietly for working so the more I can I can get that across to those kids the better so my room becomes a safe place and those incoming freshmen are going to see all those older guys that are constantly in my room talking with me about any number of things and the last thing that I'm trying to do before they leave my room is I let the kids know if you need help with anything you forget your locker combination you're lost in the school you don't understand your schedule you don't know what time you're supposed to have lunch anything at all just come in at any time even if you interrupt my class and just let me know that you have a question or that you're lost because that's gonna build trust with those kids and if I can talk to you about those little things that's gonna help me of a more serious problem later down the line you'll know how easy I am to talk to and that I'm approachable as well now the thing that can get kind of weird is it I realize that it's weird sometimes when you're in your room by yourself and there's a kid in there and you're the only two in the room and schools look down upon things like that so I try and build a culture where I'm not the only person in my room and ever so this many years in I always have kids that want to eat lunch but the more kids and I can actually let him as my room every Monday morning we have meetings we either have pending on the television series I'm watching it's either a game of Thrones meeting a Walking Dead meeting or you're The Walking Dead meeting which I'm a little bit embarrassed about because that shows not very good but regardless if kids like those shows then that also gives them something to show up with on Monday to be excited about and we already have something to talk about too so I'll just have to shoot from the hip to kind of come up with something to talk about rounds as much sports is you know what spend enough time in a right field you don't care about sports anymore now on the second day of school I'm in the hallway in the beginning of the day I'm at my door between every single period and after school and I'm also in the lunchroom and this is very strategic I want to know who's sitting by themselves and where could they sit right so like I look at a kid and if they're sitting by themselves one year I had a student that hid behind the wrestling mats I found him sitting by himself and he just wanted privacy and he didn't want to be bothered but hiding out behind the wrestling match there's no place for a human being so I didn't want to approach him and be like see the teacher going over to the kid that didn't have anywhere to sit so instead I found some guys that I really like that I think are just upstanding young men and I said could you please do me a favor and go ask that kid if he can sit at your table if he says no let me know but if he says yes just let him sit there you don't have to be his friend I don't even care if you necessarily talk to him cuz he might want to just be quiet he might just be introverted and that's fine but it gives him a place that belong it gives him a sense that he can sit somewhere and feel comfortable about it instead of hiding out somewhere and not feeling comfortable about it if that doesn't work and I then someone reports back to me that the kid didn't want to sit with them then I might go and say hey man do you know my classroom is open this period you don't have to talk to me you can listen to your music you can play a game on your phone you can work on homework you could go to sleep if you want to you could bring your lunch up to my room and just chill there and I think this works even if kids aren't eating in your room so I realized that some schools are not gonna like its eating your room if you can build a community in your room that of kids that are just being quiet just chilling out that is even better than having a room of madness sometimes too because you might not be into that either so create the expectations the students that eat in your room they know that it's quiet time if you need private time so you can get your work done then use that also but this is going to give you a perfect opportunity to get to know students to ask about movies and music and TV shows that they like that you can have a conversation with them about which is all again just building their comfortability with you and letting you become someone that they just talk to on the regular so if they need you for something bigger they can always come back to you again so ongoing stuff for the rest of the year I'm in the hallway between every class and this is what I'm doing I'm listening to what's being talked about number one weight kids will say everything in the hallway you're you don't even have to be eavesdropping because they're gonna tell you what party was lit on Friday night who got in trouble who maybe got arrested who got caught by their parents who cheated on who it's it's all public knowledge it's like a gossip column that's public knowledge and this allows you to know some of the stuff that's going on good stuff funny stuff and stuff that you should be on the lookout for because your radar is always up when you are a teacher maybe someone was getting teased maybe you heard somebody put gum in someone else's hair it doesn't matter what it is but your is up so that you could address the situation if necessary now when you build your reputation and become someone that's trustworthy and if the kids can talk to you about just about anything you have more of an opportunity to talk to kids about things that really really matter like stuff that's going on at home maybe or a break up that they had or that their best friend is mad at them here's one thing you can never do as a teacher remember this you can't discount what kids are going through everyone takes things a different way and when you're 1415 years old you have no scar tissue Henry Rollins once talked about if when you break up with your girlfriend when you're 14 you're like right and love-songs about it you're depressed for months you know if you're 40 and you break up with your girlfriend might not be that big of a deal but when you're 15 everything's fresh and it's bright under the surface so take those things seriously and just check in with kids I think adults often forget what it was like to be as teenager sometimes and it just seems annoying but it's really really important to that the other thing I'm doing while I'm in that hallway as well is I'm saying hi to every single kid that I can write and sometimes that's jokingly and sometimes it's I'm being funny and sometimes I'm being serious but I try and gauge the kid and know how to greet them and what that does is it lets every kid be seen I don't care if you have thousands of students at your school yo I dig that jacket yo got it's the fresh new haircut yo what music are you listening to right now or I'll tell them if you walk any slower you might actually start going backwards these are all just playful interaction to let the kids know that I see you and that you matter remember the kids that get the most attention are either the really good kids who try really hard or the kids that are always in trouble those kids in the middle need people to know that they are seen as well so just a quick hand on the shoulder or what's up or hey man how you doing that stuff goes a really long way someone saw you today here's the last thing I really want to talk about is what do you do when someone is getting bullied when they do come and tell you someone is get is bullying them or you witness some believing that the first thing I would tell you to do is tell someone in administration's and tell a counselor because if something happens god forbid something happens if you're not held liable for that or if you don't get in trouble for that it's gonna crush you right so if you find out that a kid gets beat up really bad after school and you didn't tell administration it's gonna it's gonna crush you but another thing that I do and I'm not telling everyone to do this right figure out if this is right for you I always address the situation with the bullies I love having those conversations with kids that are the actual bullies the ones that are being aggressive towards another student and that can look like a couple of different things what I need to do is gauge the student and see what kind of individual that I'm talking to sometimes I just come off as I'll be very patient and I'll say here's what I heard I'm not sure what to think of this but I would like to ask you about it and see if we can talk about this instead of just like punching them in the face with like with guilt right I don't want to do that I want to just be calm and listen to their side of the story as well other kids I might just act really disappointed it and say hey man I heard that this happened and I gotta tell you I'm really disappointed that someone like you with your character and your ability would do something like that it really it really hurts my feelings it makes me think like I thought I knew you and I guess I don't the other thing I might do is just come down hard on a kid if I know who that student is and I know who their parents are and I know and I think we already have a connection I might just snap on them and let them have it because kids don't often see that side of me they usually just see me being silly or funny or caring and so when I'm pissed off that really has an effect on students okay not sure where we were my memory card filled up and I couldn't shoot anymore plus the Sun was going down so here I am the next day back again I have one last quick thought to leave with either when you're having a conversation with a kid who is a bully when you're having a conversation if you if you care to engage with kids that are either getting bullied or bullying I think most folks would be more likely to naturally want to build up the kid that was getting bullied and not the bully but I'm gonna argue that both kids need I think that everyone that's getting bullied I think kids that are bullying need to be lifted up too and here's why someone once said that everyone's fighting a battle that you know nothing about if we take a step back and ask why are bullies bullying what is it that they're why are they acting the way that they're acting and you know someone's story you're gonna be way more apt to act differently towards them and to care for them to show them a little bit of compassion and patience it doesn't mean you have to be soft and it doesn't mean you have to back down from holding them accountable from the way that they've acted but at the same time I think you can have compassion for someone and show them a little bit of kindness because that in my experience has changed kids a lot when kids think you're gonna just come at them and lecture them or yell at them and then you speak calmly to them and tell them how great you think they actually are and how you think they're acting out of their anger or out of their fear instead you think that they have more than that to offer that goes a long way with students the hard part about that though is it has to be an ongoing thing because if someone is hearing if someone's hearing in one ear how bad they are how much they suck how they don't live up to someone's expectations how much of a piece of crap they are you have to constantly be in their other ear every single day saying I'm so glad to see you I'm so happy that you came to school I noticed the things that you're doing you brought a pen to class you brought your homework to class that was a really funny joke I saw the way you help that individual constantly in that other ear you have to be spewing positivity and love to that student and that will change someone that's a bully into someone who is a good healthy part of the school community so a quick recap of this is make sure that you're connecting with students wherever you can whether that's in the hallway you're out there before school during school after school you're inviting kids to eat lunch with you or you're trying to find a point in which you think there's a natural connection between you and the kids also just be mindful of what's going on around your school have your teacher radar on and you're listening to all things all the time and trying to get a sense of like who might be in trouble or a hand on the shoulder or a nice note on a post-it note right and written on their desk when they come in that day I realize this topic can spawn a lot of comments and a lot of questions please go ahead and leave those below I'd love to have a dialogue about this and work some of this stuff out I realized there's also things like cyberbullying I realized that there's you know bullying is not always straight bullying sometimes it's just like teasing I realized that there's hazing out there and there's all these others kind of like sub topics or things that go along with this let's start that conversation here and we can have that and work some things out so that we can be the teachers that we need to be for the kids when we go back to school thanks for checking us out guys [Music]

Channel: Real Rap With Reynolds

Views: 10,673

Rating: 4.9920635 out of 5

Keywords: classroom management, hip hop educator, hip hop teacher, inner city teacher, phiadelphia teacher, philly teacher, real rap with reynolds, real rap with the reynolds, should you give homework, teacher planning, teacher podcast, teacher q&a, teacher vlog, bullying in schools, how to handle bullying in schools, everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, Henry Rollins, LA Riots, Racial Tension in schools, creating a safe space, helping students to find their tribe

Id: utZ8_sSUb8A

Length: 18min 1sec (1081 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 09 2017