Didn't we learn about Sapthavada Gnyaayam? For the benefit of those of you who haven't... A guy from another state. Earlier, I used to mention a state. Now it's become global. A guy from another state in India, came to one state in India. And he went to a roadside restaurant and said, "I'm hungry, and what do you have that will satiate my hunger?". And the restaurant fellow said, "I have masal vada, and it'll satiate your hunger.". And the guy asked, "What is the cost of the masal vada which will satiate my hunger?", and he said,"Five rupees.". The guy had the first vada,he was still hungry, he had the second vada, he was still hungry, third vada, fourth vada, fifth vada, sixth vada, he was still hungry. He had the seventh vada, and the hunger was satiated. The guy went towards the billing counter, the bearer from inside screamed thirty-five rupees, and this guy took a five-rupee coin and kept it on the table. The bearer said, "But you had seven vadas!", and the guy said, "My communication was very clear from the beginning. What is the cost of the vada which will satiate my hunger, and you said five rupees. Seventh vada alone satisfied my hunger, I'll pay only for the seventh, I'll not pay for the remaining six.". It's called Sapthavada Gnyaayam. Sapthavada Gnyaayam is, if six vadas alone have gone in, it wouldn't have made a difference. And you cannot have the seventh without happening the sixth. So only when six vadas is followed by the seventh vada, hunger can be satiated. Drawing parallel to what we're discussing here, ninety percent of all your communication is only preparing the mind of the other person, ten percent of your communication only is communication. If you go and ask a farmer, a farmer will tell you, "On an unprepared soil, even a healthy seed will die.". And so is with communication. Every time we communicate to an unprepared mind, it kills our communication, because the receiver of the communication is not yet ready to receive the communication! Sometimes when you think that you've made a great presentation, and still the sale did not happen, chances are, your great preparation prepared them to be interested in your product, but still, the communication to convert that into a deal never happened. You delivered six vadas, you did not deliver the seventh vada. Sometimes, when you ask for the order, and then he says that we are not interested in doing business with you, and you feel so frustrated, that's because without delivering the six vadas, you delivered the seventh vada, and it did not quench. It is only when you deliver the first six vadas, and follow it up with the seventh vada, then if you understand Bhagavad Gita, then all the initial chapters was to prepare the mind of Arjuna. And only when Krishna was convinced that the mind of Arjuna was completely prepared, then he delivers that actually transforms Arjuna into the Kshatriya who was ready to fight for righteousness. One of the common things that happens is, my children don't understand what I'm saying or children saying, "My parents don't understand what I'm saying.". In fact, one of the screaming that happens on all the relationship is, you don't understand what you're saying. They cannot understand what you're saying because, you're communicating to an unprepared mind. And it can never happen. Classic example. I don't know whether I should even discuss this, but I'll discuss, because it's a classic example. You have been in a relationship with that girl, and the girl has been in a relationship with you for five years. And suddenly one day you decide to break this news with the family. And you go and ask your... "Papa, I'm in love with a girl." He said, "Seruppu pinjidum!". Communication is over. And you come back feeling, my father did not... For those of you who don't understand Tamil, "Seruppu pinjidum" means "Chappal will tear!", It won't come properly or equivalently, because we'll beat till the chappal tears, you won't do that. Basically meaning, I'll hit you with chappals. OK? And you come back feeling, my father does not understand me, he's still not broad-minded. What is broad-mind for you? What you thought? You will go and tell your father, "Appa, I am in love with a girl.", and he'll say, "Elope!". "Do you want to get married and then elope, or will you elope and get married?" "Will you have kids and then marry, or will you marry and then have kids?" Is that what he will ask? Upcoming businessmen, they go to the bank and sit with the bank manager and ask the bank manager, "We are looking for a loan of twenty-five crores.". He says, "No budget.". You think bank manager will immediately open the drawer, take twenty-five crores and keep it and say "Take it and go!". Even if a thief comes, he will not give it like that. He will negotiate for a while. It doesn't happen! And then we get frustrated with the world. Suddenly four of your friends have bought a bike, and you feel you need a bike. So you go and ask your dad. "Dad, I think I need a bike." And he gives you a goal for you to have a bike, which in this lifetime, you'll not achieve. He says, "Get ninety percent, I'll give you a bike.". Lifetime, it's not going to happen. You'll have to ride a bike like you did when you were a child. A real bike won't come. And you feel, my dad has so much money, he does not understand. Even a good seed is not going to sprout in an unprepared soil, and ask a farmer, and the farmer will tell you, "On a well-prepared soil, you don't have to even plant the seed. Throw the seed! It will sprout.". In fact, the art of communication is about how you prepare the mind, not how you communicate. If there is communication gap, the gap is in preparing the other mind, not in communication. You will have to bring. So you're in that state of mind. Let's take the girl example again. You think you went and told that girl one day, "I'm interested in you.", and she said "Huh!". Didn't she put up a price? Didn't she say, "Look at your face!", didn't she tell you? Didn't she reject you? Didn't she treat you like one useless waste? And didn't you go back to your friends and say, "Dude, she told me something awkward."? And didn't all your friends tell you, "That's how she will say!" OK? And didn't they all encourage you, motivate you? Didn't you that day practice vipassana for spiritual powers, and go back to her and again approached her, and told her, "Okay, I'm sorry, I should not have proposed, let's be friends."? And she didn't know what you mean by that? And yet she agreed, "Okay. We'll be only friends. Okay?". She's also fawning. Little sophisticated fawning, you are raw fawning, that's all the difference is. Okay? Didn't she say, "Slowly we'll develop!", and then after some time didn't that all happen? Didn't every time when SMS came, you checked whether it's her SMS or not? Did you not like a fool, stay awake till 2:30 in the night to send her one good night message? Everything you know? These used to be shared during counselling. Didn't you go through all that, and over a period of time, when one day, she showed some interest? What, you straightaway touched her? You simply told her, "There's a leaf on your head.". That's how it always starts. Any fellow is telling, "There is a leaf.", tell him, "Show me the leaf!". Ask him to show. There'll be nothing, he'll just touch. He'll see. It's called trial close. In selling, people are taught, straightaway don't ask for the order, you won't get the order. Give some clue. You don't say, "Can you sign the order?", you always ask, "So, you will be paying by cheque or cash?". Cheque only. OK, he's interested, because if he is not interested, he'll tell you, "No cheque, no cash.", Okay? I am not yet decided whether I want to buy from you or not. But when he says cheque, some interest, it's called trial close. So you slowly study the pulse of the prospect through a series of trial close, and then you find there has been reasonable amount of yes, then only you actually ask for the order. And that is how you got the girl. That's how you got the deal. That's how you got the principal company to agree. Communication to a prepared mind! When you are over a period of time, able to communicate. You, as husband and wife inside the bedroom, have been talking for quite some time about, how by being a joint family, we are not able to be happy with each other. So should we actually go nuclear? You have been thinking about it. Initially, when this idea came from whichever, the other rejected it. But over a period of eight months, you think for the happiness of everybody, maybe it will be better to be a nuclear family, or maybe it will be better to continue. And finally, you've understood the whole thing. You think today you'll go and open up to your parents and think, we have been thinking that. See, this is not bringing peace to anybody, for everything there's a fight. So I really think it will be better for us to be a nuclear family. And you feel they don't understand? Obviously, mother cries, obviously, father says, "After I die, if you want, you people can do this, when I am alive, you're not.", and you come back feeling they have not understood. That is not that they have not understood your communication. You did not communicate to a prepared mind. Over a period of time, you have understood, explained to them the thought process behind why you think so. The intention is larger interest, and not individual interest, over a period of time, why should mummy take these insults, or over a period of time, why should there be perpetual crying with which we have to... Over a period of time, when you've explained and explained, if there is ever a time to separate, it is when relationship is going right. In fact, remember this. During good times, if any form of physical separation comes in the relationship, still, there'll be no separation in the relationship. But when you lead a relationship to bad times, and during bad times when the separation happens, the relationship itself gets separated. So somewhere in its communicated over, and you communicate to a prepared mind, then your actual communication is just an absorption, nothing more than that. Ninety percent of communication is, preparation of mind. The first six vadas. Actual communication is only ten percent. The seventh vada that is delivered. So whether it is in training, whether it's in teaching, whether it's a negotiation, whether it's an empowering an organization, transforming a society, a Bhagavad Gita, a Bible sermon that has to be driven, a relationship, a proposal to diversify into a new business, you feel that I think the family business can carry on with just two hours of your involvement. And I think you have the time and the idea and the market potential to diversify into another business, and you feel your family is not agreeing at all, that is because you are not preparing the mind and communicating. All failures in communication is, the failure to prepare the mind of the other individual before you communicate. Why am I explaining this so much? To basically transfer this responsibility to you. If I communicate and the other has not understood, it's my failure. It's not others' failure. It's my failure. If communication does not achieve the desired result, the failure is of the communicator, and not of the receiver of the communication. I failed to prepare the mind of the other enough before I communicate it. Let the farmer not blame the soil in which the seed could not sprout. Let the farmer take the responsibility for his failure to prepare the soil. And if only he'd prepared the soil properly, that seed would have sprouted into the potential forest that it can actually become. So take the responsibility. Understand, I will communicate only to a prepared mind. Sometimes in today's discussion, you'll feel no, that mind is not ready to receive. Don't communicate. Never waste a good idea in an unprepared mind. Never waste a good product in an unprepared prospect's mind. Never go and sell an extraordinary idea to a market, when the market is not yet ready to receive that idea. Prepare the market, and then throw the idea into the market. Prepare the principal company, and then ask for the distributorship. Prepare the employees, and then launch the new diversification plans that is there. Prepare the elders in the family before you talk to them about how you think the future ought to be, and why you think the future has to be. First, prepare the mind, and only then communicate, to a prepared mind.
