If your daughter and her friend became possessed
by a foul-mouthed demonic entity, what would you do? Just when you thought it was safe to go summoning
spirits from another plane of existence, it turns out not so much. Now two young lives hang in the balance as
their families and community members frantically seek to reverse their descent into depravity. And while our heroes might have the benefit
of experience on their side, the demon’s got a new trick up its sleeve none of them
will ever see coming. I’m going to break down the mistakes made,
what you should do, and how to beat the DOUBLE DEMON in THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER. Angela is a good egg, something for which
her single father, Victor, is eternally grateful. Ya see, unlike many youths her age, she’s
not one to blow off chores, ditch class, or break curfew, and the extent of her bad behaviors
seems to be limited to embracing the socially tolerated eating disorder known as ‘vegetarianism.’ Knowing all this, it’s no surprise that
Victor is quick to sound the alarm at the realization she never came home from studying
with her friend Katherine. Worse yet is the fact her phone is off, and
it turns out Katherine’s parents were apparently fed some BS about the girls studying with
yet another friend, which of course they were not. And just when you think things couldn’t
possibly get any worse, well, you should probably slap yourself because they can always get
worse. Case in point, this other friend claims she
last saw Katherine and Angela walking out into the woods next to a local tent city. I know! See, this is what happens when you fail to
sufficiently traumatize your offspring through a combination of folklore, after school specials,
and evening news broadcasts. Once again horrible parenting out there causing
all the world’s problems. “Oh, but my child needs to learn their own
lessons about making horrible life altering mistakes. They need to find out for themselves why you
don’t climb into the tiger cage at the zoo, or into the back of the stranger’s van,
or crawl into a half-flooded, old drainage tunnel out in the middle of a forest full
of tranq-addicted hobos.” That’s where they went, by the way, which
thankfully their parents are able to figure out after a brief stroll through the woods. Unfortunately, it was only because they found
the girls’ shoes floating in the slop, but I guess it beats finding a dead body. Obviously, the best thing to do right now
would be to get the cops involved as quickly as possible, if nothing else but to ensure
they establish a proper timeline. This is, of course, what the parents do because
they’re all smart enough to know that whole myth about having to wait 24 or 48 or 72 hours
before reporting a missing person is just that, a myth. Yes, once again, I’m forced to climb up
on my soapbox about this issue because idiots in media have been working overtime throughout
the decades making people believe this garbage. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you different. You should always file a missing persons report
the second you have reason to believe someone has vanished under suspicious circumstances,
which Katherine and Angela most definitely have. Sure, it’d be one thing if they were a pair
of rowdy teenagers who routinely ran off in pursuit of crap-show ragers, or whatever,
but in this case, we have two level-headed kids with no known problems at home who were
last seen entering a pretty sketchy area. The more time that goes by without finding
them, the greater the likelihood we’ll never find them at all, alive that is. Once word of the disappearance gets out, both
the police and the community spring into action. Search parties with cadaver dogs scour the
woods, candlelight vigils form, and the local news begins airing coverage of the situation
to drive up awareness. Meanwhile, the girls’ families plaster the
surrounding neighborhoods with missing posters, and Victor even makes a trip down to the local
soup kitchen to interview some of the vagrants. It goes about as well as you might expect. And it seems they aren’t the only ones in
the neighborhood who aren’t being helpful, as evidenced by Victor coming home to find
his front door hanging open. Here we have yet another example of why you
always stay strapped, especially in a constitutional carry state like Georgia. It’s not always about the dangers you might
face out in the wasteland; sometimes you gotta worry about what you’re coming home to. That being said, I’d never recommend someone
clear their own house unless they know their loved ones are in danger. Otherwise, leave that to a public servant,
or private security if you’ve got the cash. Naturally, there’s probably a part of Victor
that thinks this might be Angela having come home on her own, and that’s totally understandable
given the circumstances, but once he called out to the sound of movement and got no response,
I’d definitely rethink my decision to carry on without a weapon. Fortunately, for our hero, this isn’t THAT
kind of home invasion. Yes, so I can murder you. Seriously, dude, are you trying to get shot? Coming in uninvited is one thing, but why
in the heck would you leave the front door open like you just finished robbing the place. Not only that, but what’s with Stuart’s
ridiculous lack of communication here. Are you telling me he couldn’t have texted
Victor to let him know he was coming by with a bunch of voodoo people later, or was scaring
the crap out of him part of the ritual? Either way, it’s probably not going to work,
because the grieving father’s clearly not in the mood for company right now, regardless
of their helpful intentions. The good news is it won’t have to, as the
very next day, Angela and Katherine are found huddled together in a barn… THIRTY MILES FROM WHERE THEY FOUND THE SHOES. And it only gets weirder from there. Despite having been missing for three days
at this point, both girls seem to believe they’ve only been gone for a couple of hours,
with absolutely no recollection of how they got out to the farm. Sounds like some straight up Missing 411 crap
if you ask me. Ultimately, a series of rigorous medical examinations
reveals no sign of foul play, or serious injuries, that is unless you count the fact both girls’
feet are absolutely destroyed. Like, I get they supposedly walked barefoot
through the woods for three straight days, but it looks more like they got napalmed or
something, Jesus. Whatever the case, it’s apparently not enough
to keep them overnight, resulting in both girls being sent back home with their families. And while that might be the right call from
a physical health point of view, it’d still probably be a good idea to get them in front
of psychologists as quickly as possible. Like one of the doctors mentioned back in
the hospital, traumatic events can trigger bouts of retrograde amnesia, and even though
neither of them wound up getting hurt, that doesn’t mean they didn’t go through some
serious crap after falling off the face of the earth. I mean, what if someone abducted them at gunpoint
and tortured them in other ways? If so, that’s probably something both the
families and law enforcement would want to find out, and it would certainly explain how
they wound up out in the middle of nowhere. And even if they never manage to resurrect
the repressed memories of what really went down, some quality time with a head shrinker
might help them cope with all the lingering “what ifs” as they try to move on. Oh, yeah, there’s also the fact that both
of them begin acting extremely strange after coming back home, and, yes, I understand they’ve
been through a lot in the last couple days, but between the vacant expressions, bouts
of confusions, and unprovoked aggression, my first thought would be that whatever caused
them to wander off like that might still be screwing with their heads, especially after
seeing something like this. Spoiler alert, no she didn’t. Sure, it might be way too soon to conclude
she’s been possessed by a demon from heck, but hearing voices is never a good sign. Honestly, that’d probably be enough for
me to drag her back to the hospital in case they overlooked some kind of head injury during
the examination. It’s certainly not impossible, and given
how little we know at this point, you really can’t be too careful. As for Victor, he decides that all his daughter
needs is a goodnight’s sleep and dessert for breakfast to bring her back to normal,
but her condition only appears to worsen as time goes on. Not only has Angela wet the bed, she’s become
unable or at the very least unwilling to communicate, to which her father responds by shutting her
in the bathroom with the water running and hoping for the best. For real though, dude, laundry can wait. If she’s really as messed up as she looks,
leaving her alone in a tile room full of skull crushers is definitely not the move. Statistically speaking, it’s the most dangerous
room in your house, and that’s without being loopier than a bowl of Cheerios. Eventually, this realization sinks in, but
when he finally comes back to check on her, Angela is nowhere to be found. Yeah, if I had to guess, it’d say it probably
has something to do with all that gravy coming out the faucet. Fortunately, it seems she didn’t get far. I guess she doesn’t like pancakes. All I can say is that it’s a good thing
Angela hit the deck all on her own, cuz there’s no way in heck anyone would believe us if
we had to choke her out ourselves. Even still, I’m surprised Victor didn’t
end up chatting with the cops anyway, as by the time they make it to the hospital, Angela
looks about 10 times worse than she did the day before. Then again, the fact they had to sedate her
to stop her from flipping the freak out probably lent him some credibility. Either way, what’s far more alarming are
her newly acquired injuries, nails falling off, lacerations all over her stomach. None of this was present when they found her,
so what the heck happened, right? Barring some kind of intruder, the only logical
explanation is that she did this to herself, and given what just went down, I’d say that’s
likely the case. All the more reason to get her and her friend
in for psych eval ASAP. Huh, come to think of it. I wonder how Katherine’s doing right now? Hmmm, not good. Once again, the girls’ parents find themselves
sitting helplessly at the hospital wondering what on earth could have happened to their
kids. Although, if you ask Katherine’s mom, the
explanation lies outside this world entirely. The way she sees it, neither of the girls
having been baptized left them vulnerable to corruption by evil spirits, which Victor
immediately dismisses as utter nonsense. Yeah, ya know, yesterday I probably would
have agreed with you, man, but in light of recent circumstances, I’d say there’s
a chance she might be onto something. Not to mention that Angela told him she and
Katherine originally went to the forest to conduct a séance and communicate with her
late mother. Still, you can’t expect someone outside
that entire belief system to accept something as off the wall as demonic possession without
substantial evidence backing it up, and right now Victor’s far too concerned with the
prospects of locking his daughter up in a psych ward to consider the supernatural. However, just as he’s about to slam the
door on that possibility entirely, his next-door neighbor, Nurse Ann, brings him around with
a firsthand account of Angela’s recent behavior. Well, I’m sold. Seriously, she should have whipped out her
phone and started recording the second she heard that voice. That’d probably do the trick. However, even more distressing than the manner
in which Angela was speaking was what she was saying. According to Ann, she called her Sister Mary
Xavier, which would have been Ann’s novitiate name had she gone through with becoming a
nun many years ago. Angela would then go on to mention Ann’s
terminated pregnancy from around the same time, which, along with her nunnification
name, no one else in town could possibly have known about. Ultimately, the unsettling report isn’t
enough to convince Victor outright, but it is enough for him to accept a book on the
subject of possession, written by none other than Chris McNeil herself. Now, if you don’t know who that is, well,
maybe count yourself lucky, because this movie’s about to do her character dirty here in a
few minutes. In short, she’s the mother of Regan McNeil,
the demon-possessed girl from back in the original EXORCIST. Evidently, following her daughter’s Exorcism,
Chris traveled the world learning everything she possibly could about demonic possession
from a variety of different cultures and faiths. As a result, she’s become one of the world’s
foremost experts on the subject, although she herself admits she’s not actually an
exorcist. Regardless, Victor believes her experience
might very well be the key to curing Angela’s affliction, and after a brief research montage,
he and his friends manage to arrange a meeting with Chris out at her seaside estate. Given the situation, it makes sense that super
dad would want to explore all his options, and I think his decision to discuss the matter
with Chris is certainly a good one. That being said, if he really believes that
possession might really be the issue here, he should get the ball rolling with some actual
exorcists, as this isn’t exactly something you can have done on short notice. According to an interview with trained exorcist
Father Vincent Lampert, at least in the Catholic tradition, there is no such thing as an “emergency
exorcism.” He claims that the church will only sanction
an exorcism once the subject has undergone thorough medical and psychological evaluations
to ensure the source of their suffering has no known physical or mental cause. Furthermore, there’s no way of knowing how
long the process could take. It could be anywhere from minutes to months
based on various accounts, so we probably shouldn’t waste any time. Now, while there are many religious groups
that practice exorcism, for simplicity's sake, we should probably stick with Catholicism. After all, it was two Catholic priests who
successfully carried out Regan’s exorcism, albeit with some collateral damage. Luckily, we have Nurse Ann to get things in
motion with a local priest while our hero’s on his road trip. Speaking of which, eventually Chris stops
monologuing long enough for Victor to explain the situation, and after seeing photos depicting
wounds similar to the ones her own daughter had, she agrees to help. Only problem is Chris never actually witnessed
any part of Regan’s exorcism, just the before and after effects, so I’m not exactly sure
what Victor’s expecting here, especially considering he outright stated he wants to
do for his daughter exactly what she did for hers. In that case, he’s looking for a standard
Catholic exorcism, which… Okay, ya no what. Let’s just not think about it. Anyway, team Angela reconvenes at the mental
hospital to give Chris a chance to examine her condition up close. As for Katherine, her parents decided to take
care of her at home. Mmm, yeah, gonna have to agree. Heck, Katherine’s folks were the first ones
to even bring up the possibility of possession and they’re treating this like she has the
flu? Then again, maybe Victor left out the part
about how his tweenage daughter heaved him across the room like a garbage bag. Even so, you’d think they’d want to minimize
the contact their non-possessed family members had with the demonic entity. Whatever the case, Victor and company aren’t
about to let their commiserates find out the hard way just how stupid that was, but by
the time they arrive at their house, it seems it’s already too late. The pair finds the girl’s father Tony, nearly
catatonic, and his wife, Miranda, isn’t doing all that much better. Although, at least she had the clarity to
round up their children and hunker down somewhere. My only question is how long have they been
hiding in the dark like this? You’re telling me at no point after Katherine
went full demonic, did they think to maybe call in backup or something? You gotta believe their church’s pastor
would be willing to investigate reports of an honest-to-god demon living amongst his
flock. Oh, well. None of that matters now because Chris is
here to bore the demon back to heck with her special “I know everything” powers, except,
wait, what was that she said in her interview from back in the day? Right. Yeah, on second thought this seems like a
terrible idea. I mean, Chris of all people should know from
experience just how dangerous it is to be alone with someone who’s possessed. Fact is, even experienced exorcists work in
teams of two or more, and even then it’s nowhere near a slam dunk. Besides, there’s still about another 35
minutes left of this crap show, so I can pretty much guarantee this isn’t going to end well. See, what’d I tell ya? The only good news is that it didn’t gouge
out her tongue too, so she can still spout more generic inspirational tripe about how
religion is all about people believing in each other, and since people perform exorcisms,
and they’re all people, they can perform exorcisms too. Yeah, only that didn’t go super well for
you, now did it? Well, whatever. The point is that it inspires Victor to round
up as many holy figures as the film’s budget can support and bring their combined religious
might down upon the demon like Hoss Cartright on a bed bug. It’s basically the Avengers of faith healing. To that end, he rounds up Nurse Ann and her
priest, Father Maddox, Pastor Revans of Tony and Miranda’s Church, Victor’s neighbor
Stuart who happens to be Pentecostal, and Dr. Beehibe, who Stuart brought in to bless
the house back towards the beginning. Now, you’re probably noticing there’s
a few of the world’s other religions missing from this screw party, namely, most of them,
but it’s what we got, so I guess we’ll have to make do. That being said, how can we even be sure mixing
and matching faiths like this will offer us any benefit? In fact, it could even hold us back as the
rites and rituals of one group might directly interfere with or contradict that of another. See, this may come as a shock to some of you
out there, but it turns out belief systems from different parts of the world have trouble
getting along sometimes. Heck, even ones from the same part of the
world. All this is to say, we might consider running
through each religion’s exorcism process one at a time. I mean, it’s not like the demon gave us
a deadline to work against, and even if it did, why would we trust it? At the very least, we could try hitting it
in shifts of some kind, or even splitting the girls up and trying a different approach
on either one. Which brings me to my next question. Why are we exorcizing both of them at the
same time? I guess the idea is they’re somehow possessed
by the same demon, but how could we possibly know if that’s really the case? In fact, that might be exactly what they want
us to think. After all, it was hard enough for Father Merrin
and Father Karras when there was just the one. Two might very well be impossible, especially
if they manage to break free from their restraints. And just to crank up the difficulty even more,
right before showtime we come to find out that the church has forbidden Father Maddox
from participating in the exorcism, instead suggesting the girls undergo psychiatric treatment
first. In reality, the diocese are worried about
the potential for backlash should one or both of the girls perish during the ritual. As Father Maddox goes on to explain, exorcisms
can be extremely dangerous procedures that have been known to kill on both ends, and
he simply can’t be a part of this knowing the clergy won’t have his back should something
go horribly wrong. However, that doesn’t mean he’s entirely
unwilling to help. “Oh, yeah, it’s super dangerous and people
die from it, but here, knock yourself out.” Gee, thanks, Padre. Well, that’s just great. Not only was the dude not even a trained exorcist
to begin with, he somehow found a way to pass the buck to someone even less qualified than
him. Just because Ann almost became a nun decades
ago doesn’t mean she has any idea what she’s doing here. That’s like… like sending someone into
a hostage situation because they almost became a meter maid, or something. As a matter of fact, has even a single one
of the super best friends they’ve assembled ever even witnessed an exorcism before? Has anyone even asked that question yet? I mean, god damn it, I feel like I’m losing
my mind here. Once again, we have no reason to believe this
thing has to be done tonight. In that case, I think the best thing we can
do right now is keep the girls restrained and hooked up to IV fluids while we compile
enough video evidence of their possession to effectively force the Catholic Church to
hook us up with the SEAL Team Six of exorcists. This is the internet age, after all. Side note, thank God, neither of the girls
were given access to social media after being possessed. Tik Tok is bad enough without those two monstrosities
on there shilling mental illness. Then again, no one would probably notice. At any rate, it seems Victor’s really tired
of having all these people crowding up his living room, so I guess we’re doing this. However, before all the screaming starts,
I have just a couple more knit picks to get off my chest. First of all, I realize it’s all hands on
deck right now, but perhaps it’s not such a great idea to have the girl’s parents
involved. Exorcisms like the one performed on Regan
McNeil aren’t pretty, and it’s entirely possible one of them might interfere if it
looks like their child is being harmed in some way. Because of that, it’s entirely possible
the demon might try to play up the girls’ apparent anguish in an attempt to manipulate
them. Also, it probably couldn’t hurt to take
some extra precautions in case one of them really does get hurt, or ya know, worse. It’s a little late now, but we should have
arranged to have an ambulance waiting on committed standby just in case. Should also probably be thinking about our
own safety as well. A little PPE goes a long way, especially with
regards to eye protection, Chris. All right, thinking time is over. Let’s get down to business. We kick things off with a scripture reading
by Nurse Ann, and while I’m probably the last person that should be giving notes on
this kind of thing, from what I found online, readings like this are performed during Catholic
exorcisms to force the demon to reveal itself. Yeah, I’d say that’s already been taken
care of. Instead, we should be focusing on issuing
commands and demanding the demon’s name, the latter of which being an ultimate sign
of submission to God and a sign the process is nearly over. Eventually, this gives way to everyone shouting
over one another with little to on effect on target. Sure, there’s a lot of spitting and cursing
and gnashing of teeth, and whatever the heck this is… …but at no point do they seem any closer
towards their goal of removing the demon. In fact, it honestly seems like this thing’s
just screwing with them the whole time. And after exhausting several different rituals
from their various belief systems, the demon kicks things up a notch by issuing a command
of its own. Citing the way in which Victor was forced
to choose between his wife and the at-the-time-unborn Angela during the earthquake that ultimately
claimed the former’s life. The demon demands that the exorcists choose
between saving Katherine and saving Angela, with the implication that both of them will
die if they do nothing. So, yeah, I say we just ignore it. After all, demons are frequently portrayed
as deceivers no matter who you’re asking, so why would we take this thing’s word for
anything. Furthermore, we already know it’s a trick
from the get go, as it turns out Victor chose to save his wife, but fate intervened and
spared his daughter instead. The way I see it, the fact they brought this
up means whoever we choose to save will be the one that dies. Or maybe it just said that to mess with our
heads. Who knows? The good news is we won’t have to find out,
as just when it seems like they have no other choice but to play the demon’s game, the
gang is blessed by a surprise visit from none other than the runaway priest himself. That’s right, Father Maddox is back, and
he’s called in back up in the form of a loose cannon clergyman who doesn’t play
by the rules, the legendary Father John. There hasn’t been an evil spirit yet this
guy couldn’t send back to heck… on a bullet. Oh, and about that whole vow of chastity thing. Well, let’s say God’s willing to make
exceptions for bad mother effers That’s right, demons. You’d better pray to all that is unholy
Father John doesn’t find you, cuz when he does, you’ll be puking pea soup out a new
hole in your head. Rated E for extreme violence. Oh, hang on, sorry. I got my scripts mixed up. Damn it, Martin! The preceding segment was actually about the
latest video on my Triple Tap channel: THE EXORCIST: PARABELLUM. That’s right, if you’re tired of boring-arse
exorcism movies without head explosions and guns, then what the freak are you waiting
for, links in the description. Ahem. Where was I. Oh, yeah, the lame regular priest
who also has never performed an exorcism is back to shout at the girls and touch them
on the forehead. Let’s see how that works out. Damn. Yeah, probably should have taken his own advice
about not getting too close. Seemingly out of options. Victor breaks down and tosses his late wife’s
scarf around Angela’s neck, imploring her to resist the demon, not on behalf of God,
but on behalf of his love for her, and wouldn’t you know it this actually seems to have some
kind of effect. The girls’ vital signs, once perfectly synchronized,
now appear to be different, and a piece of Angela’s personality begins to emerge. Hey, ya know what. Awesome. What I want to know is why in the heck aren’t
Tony and Miranda taking the exact same approach with their daughter right now? Like, I get you have the other two kids, but
still you might need a babysitter at some point. I don’t know. Ultimately, this failure to act on their part
causes the still-possessed Katherine to call out for help, to which Tony responds with
the knee jerk reaction of proclaiming his choice to save her over Angela, with some
rather interesting results. Huh, guess I was wrong about that whole double
cross thing, except not really because it turns out that this was just one final fake
out meant to subvert our expectations, and boy were my expectations subverted. Ya see, while it might look like Angela’s
dead as heck, she’s actually totally fine, whereas Katherine’s only seconds away from
ensuring her father never wins another argument for the rest of his life. Man, who could have seen that coming? Clearly, no one in this room, as only now
do they think to get an ambulance on the way. Meanwhile, Nurse Ann demonstrates a frightening
lack of medical knowledge by shocking a flatline with the defibrillator instead of committing
to CPR and administering shots of adrenaline. Seriously, with everyone here, you could have
easily kept up a rotation long enough for the paramedics to arrive and pronounce her
dead at the scene. In fact, delaying CPR to deliver shocks to
a flat-lined patient only worsens their already dismal chances of survival. Guess she probably should have been a nun
after all. And with that, Angela is finally free from
her possession and can go back to constantly reminding her father of his long-dead wife. In the end, our heroes could only save one
of the girls, and in doing so lost one of the aspiring exorcists and saw another rendered
permanently blind. However, had they taken a big step back once
the girls’ possession was confirmed and focused on getting help from actual exorcists
who have performed actual exorcisms, I think there’s a good chance they could have avoided
the collateral damage. That being said, once they became committed
to handling it themselves, separating the girls and conducting two different exorcisms
likely would have prevented Tony from blowing the whole thing, especially once they figured
out all that “love conquers all bullcrap For that reason, I think THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER
was Beaten. Moral of the story, leave demon hunting to
the professionals, like Father John.
