HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE | LIKE THE ALPHA

with over 7.5 billion people on the planet you're bound to come across some people who don't like you and how you handle these situations will determine what kind of person you become whether you realize it or not somebody is always watching your every action and thought they watch how you react to situations in life and based on your actions they make conclusions about who you are as a person but this person isn't who you might think in fact this person is you it's the 800-pound gorilla in the room or the subconscious part of your brain unlike your conscious brain your subconscious never sleeps and never misses a single moment whether you realize it or not your subconscious is actually what controls you most of the time but something really awesome about this part of your brain is that it can be manipulated to make incredible things happen for you every single time someone uses you as a doormat and you allow it your subconscious records what happens and alters your beliefs accordingly every time that you choose to be a pushover a nice guy and sacrifice your rights it's watching over time your subconscious uses this information to form beliefs about who you are in what you're capable of every time that you assert yourself and stand up for yourself your subconscious takes notice and begins to form new beliefs assertiveness is one of the most valuable traits that you can have because it's what makes you a better man and it's also something that girls find very attractive once you start asserting yourself you'll find that other men will respect you more and girls will find you more attractive being assertive won't help you make friends with everyone but it will allow you to screen people for the friends who were actually worth having I remember the first job that I had at a gas station in a bad part of town this was before I started my journey of self-improvement and before I knew how to stand up for myself I used to work the graveyard shift at my job and I would work from 10:00 at night until 6:00 in the morning one day my assistant manager showed up to work about 15 minutes late he said he slept in over the coming months this started happening more frequently and in many cases he would come in 30 minutes or more late I was having to work this time and not get paid for it just because he was coming in late as an employee I had a right to leap after I clocked out but this right was being stomped on by this guy every single time that he showed up late for no reason at the time I feared that if I confronted him about it he would try to get me fired since he had control over the books and could easily do something to make me look bad the definition of assertive is displaying a confident or forceful personality and this is what I needed to do back then so many guys whether it's at a relationship in school at work or even around strangers are afraid to be assertive this is one of the tell-tale signs of the pushover nice guy and why things don't really ever work out for him practicing assertiveness is talking to your neighbor about their dog who was barking and keeping you up on that it's standing up for yourself when somebody has done you wrong it is also about not being afraid to confidently take what's yours and had I just been more assertive back when I worked my first job maybe I wouldn't have had to eventually leave that job the pushover nice guy is someone who is passive in the complete opposite of passiveness is assertiveness most people these days just sit around and let life happen to them and they take a passive position on everything when things aren't working out in their life they don't assert themselves and take control of the situation when someone is treating them badly instead of displaying assertiveness and confronting that person directly they just sit around and say bad things about the person to other people don't be someone who is always trying to please other people especially when it causes you to disrespect yourself in the process with that said there are some simple things that you could start doing right away to become the assertive alpha that you need to be in today's world tip number one stand up for your rights as mentioned earlier with 7.5 billion people on the planet you will come across some people who will try to disrespect or take advantage of you to practice being assertive speak up for yourself and stand up for your rights if your car keeps breaking down because of manufacturer defects and the dealership you bought it from is trying to tell you otherwise when you know you're right speak up for yourself when you order a burrito from the Mexican restaurant down the street and it's made so poorly that it spills grease all over your brand-new jeans don't just sit there and take it go back to the restaurant and assert yourself because even if you think that nobody is watching when you defeat and just keep the poorly made burrito your subconscious is always watching every single time something like this happens and you don't assert yourself your subconscious records how you can of the situation and it becomes programmed to make you do the same thing the next time someone does you wrong if things like this happen to you in social situations around other people it's even more important to assert yourself because now even more people are watching so admitting defeat in this situation has an even greater impact on your subconscious and your beliefs about yourself the next time someone cuts in front of you in line at the movies or at a store practice being assertive and confidently let them know that they've cut in front of you and that you were in line before then don't be the pushover nice guy who just lets it happen but also understand that assertiveness is the fine line between passive and to aggressive you don't want to be the guy who punches somebody because they cut in front of them in a line but you also don't want to be the guy who just allows it to happen without ever saying a word allowing things like this to happen over a long period of time will just make you a bitter and resentful person remember that assertiveness is handling these issues in a confident controlled way tip number three know what you want if you're like most people you make hundreds of decisions every single day decision-making is one of the easiest ways to practice being assertive and this is especially great for those of you who have a girlfriend anytime that your girlfriend asks you to make a decision don't be afraid to make it when asked to make a decision about something many guys are passive and will say I don't know or tell the girl that it's up to her a huge part of being assertive is knowing what you want and not being afraid to make a decision the next time that a girl asks you to pick between two shirts that she wants to wear just pick the one that you like the most when she asks you why you guys are going to go for dinner you can ask her what sounds good to her but be the one in the end who makes the final decision on where to go girls are more attracted to guys who can assert their opinion and guys who know what they want at any given moment if you're thinking about buying a new Corvette from the dealership find out what a fair prices and know the highest amount that you're willing to pay before you go in when you're around your male friends don't be the guy that all the other guys disrespect in front of the being assertive in front of girls will make them more attracted to you and being assertive in front of men will make them respect you tip number four looked apart your body language and voice tone are extremely important because they are constantly used by others every second of the day to determine your personal confidence of when you're being assertive you should be standing upright and speaking in a controlled way if you have trouble with the volume of your voice pretend like you're trying to protect your voice to reach an audience who is on the other side of the room think about the normal volume you would normally use to speak and consciously raise your voice a little bit louder than what your normal volume would be when asserting yourself make sure to hold eye contact with the person about 70% of the time another neat trick to instantly boost your confidence when asserting yourself involves raising your chin about one inch from where it would normally be with looking directly at the other person the old saying keep your chin up it's told to people who are feeling down and unconfident about life so keeping your chin up and slightly raised shows that you are confident about what you are saying tip number five sweat the little things a lot of people underestimate the power the tiniest actions and how they can affect the overall outcome of your life once you start asserting yourself even if it seems trivial over time you'll notice incredible changes in your life and how other people treat you and unless you live under a rock you'll be presented with several opportunities every single day that you can use to practice being more assertive if a friend has crossed the line and went from joking to disrespecting you let him know that he needs to stop doing it if the person who covers your shift at work is always late and causing problems for you assert yourself and speak to them directly to let them know that it's wrong and disrespectful to you here's another great example for everyday life imagine you grab a bite to eat from a restaurant or a fast food joint and the food is so poorly made that most people would consider it unacceptable tell whoever is in charge about it and if they don't make it right talk to someone higher up but keep in mind that you will always get a good result when asserting yourself and in some cases the situation can get downright nasty but it's not really about getting good results the whole point is to stand up for your rights or beliefs in a in a controlled way even when you don't think anyone's watching your subconscious is the 800-pound gorilla who is always there always waiting to see how you handle these challenges and programming itself accordingly don't be the passive person who always admits defeat and suffers lost confidence and self esteem as a result of it instead become the assertive alpha that you were designed to beat and stand up for your rights and for your beliefs with that said I love you guys and until next time thanks for watching

Channel: FarFromAverage

Views: 599,898

Rating: 4.9139786 out of 5

Keywords: how to be assertive, assertiveness, confidence, communication, assertive, assertive communication, asserting yourself, self assertion, assertive techniques, becoming assertive, assertiveness skills, assertive skills, be more assertive, psychology, social skills, how to be assertive with people, success, stand up for yourself, alpha male, farfromaverage, how to stand up for yourself

Id: wEOiAzdx21M

Length: 9min 26sec (566 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 07 2017