How to be a Great Mentor | Kenneth Ortiz | TEDxBethanyGlobalUniversity

it was the great astronomer physicist and theologian Sir Isaac Newton who once said these great words if I have seen further than others it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants you see Isaac knew and understood something that I think we need to be reminded of and that is we are at our best when we rely upon the wisdom and knowledge of those that have come before us those of us living today we have inherited all sorts of incredible bits of information data knowledge and wisdom I'm all for progress and doing a new thing but we would be foolish if we ignored the wisdom and knowledge that has been passed down to us there's been an incredible baton handed to us and it's caused me to realize that it is imperative essential that we today intentionally hand a baton to the next generation we benefit we get to utilize all the things that have been given to us it is now important that we intentionally hand the baton to the next generation that we say yes to the next generation I believe this is absolutely important and I think many of you probably agree over the last few years there's been loads of research and reports that have come out that have been published about mentorship there have been dozens of prominent lectures and in fact several TED talks about the power of mentorship it's all over there's been lots of surveys lots of people say we believe in mentorship lots of stats over and over again show that there are many leaders that say mentorship is important mentorship is powerful you look at a picture of Tony Dungy he's the first african-american head coach to lead a team to a Super Bowl championship he's with Tony Dungy said the personal one on one aspect of mentoring is something our society desperately needs I agree wholeheartedly with Tony Dungy and again many others out there as well I believe Tony Dungy is a hundred percent right there's lots of talk about the power of mentorship but I think there's a missing component I think there's a puzzle piece that we haven't quite gotten right you see there's lots of talks and lectures about mentorship but there's not a lot of people teaching us how to be great mentors it's sort of the the missing piece so if you allow me I want to spend the next few minutes giving you some insights on how to be a great mentor mentorship is important and I believe that we must do it intentionally the first thing you got to do if you're gonna be a great mentor is this you have to be willing to spend lots of time with people lots and lots and lots of time and whenever amount of time you think it takes to be a great mentor it's always gonna be significantly more than that if you think you could teach someone a particular skill and let's say 30 minutes a week over the course of a month or two sadly you're wrong it'll probably take you two or three hours a week and it'll probably take you a year or two that's the nature of it but I promise it'll be worth it it always takes more time more energy and more effort but it's always worth it this is Zack kemple Zack Campo holds the world record for most baseball's caught at baseball games if you include if you include pregame batting practice over the course of his life he has caught more than 10,000 baseball's now I'm a pretty big baseball fan in fact I think I'm the biggest baseball fan I know over the course of my life I did a few I did kind of rough math a few nights ago I think I've been to about 170 or 180 baseball games in my life which is a lot the average American goes to about 2 to 4 games over the course of his or her lifetime it's tragic in my opinion I've been to a lot of baseball games let me tell you this I've never caught a baseball at a game not a foul ball not a home run once I was in a section and a guy ten people over from me caught a ball so pretty much the closest I've come that kemple has called over 10,000 baseballs including pregame batting practice and about 60 or 70 of those have been home runs in the outfield pretty remarkable Zack couple has been interviewed multiple times by different people daytime talk shows late-night talk shows and over and over again people ask him how have you done this and he gives different bits of wisdom but the number one thing he says over and over again is this if you're going to catch a lot of baseballs you got to go to a lot of baseball games any what I'm talking about 170 or hundred eighty games we're not even talking about a few hundred games we're talking about thousands upon thousands of games or the course of a lifetime if you're gonna catch a lot of baseballs you have to go to a lot of baseball games the same is true for mentorship if you're going to impact a lot of people if you're gonna hand the baton of wisdom off to the next generation if you're gonna help others stand on your shoulders so they can see further that you can see you're gonna have to spend a lot of time it's going to be hard you're not gonna want to do it in fact many people say they want to be great mentors when they realize how much time it takes they usually back off you must be willing to invest lots of time the ideal way to do this is face to face whether that's in person or on some video conferencing software whether that's Skype Google hangout zoom you could do that it's okay to do it by email or by phone occasionally but the ideal way to mentor someone is in-person life on life spending time with them carving out time whether that's a part of your job whether you do it on a personal way and a personal on your own personal time it is essentially you carve out time for people give them face to face time I'll give you an example of what other students here at Bethany global University asked me if I would mentor him and teach him how to be a better public speaker I said absolutely but this is gonna take time so every time he had a speaking engagement he was gonna give a talk or speech or preach a sermon somewhere I had to then go attend that particular event watch it and then take notes and then meet with him afterwards to give him feedback to give him my thoughts and my insights this was gonna take a chunk of time at minimum if I couldn't make it to the event he could record the event I could watch it or listen to it later and then he could you know come back we can meet but again it was gonna take my time another way you can give people your time is to invite them into your life I did this with this young man I actually had a speaking engagement locally yesterday wanted to go with me let's drive over together and then you can be there in attendance we could dialogue about it so he hop my car we drove over as we were driving we talked about what I was gonna talk about I told him how I prepared how I research how I studied he was there alive I told him how I want you to critique me alright we got in the car on the way back he gave me feedback he was giving me critique and things I could have done better and we dialogue about this I gave him my time and it helped him be a better public speaker but again I'm inviting him into my world which sometimes can be burdensome or intrusive but I promise it's worth it if you forget anything else I say today remember this if you're going to be a great mentor you absolutely must be willing to give people your time the second thing you have to do to be a great mentor is be someone who has a plan if you think you're mentoring someone and a manner that will just kind of happen if you think it'll happen organically or informally or by accident you're wrong it won't you have to have a plan give you another example there was a group of young men I was mentoring here on the campus of Bethany global University and I met with them on Thursday evenings group about five young men and I would give them a plan I would say hey we're gonna read this book read this chapter and next Thursday when you show up be ready to discuss it we're gonna dialogue about it we're gonna wrestle through this we're gonna argue about it I want you to come to that discussion ready I gave them a homework assignment I would frequently email them blog posts or videos or TED talks and say I want you to watch this and come ready to discuss it have a plan think about what a financial planner does financial planner sets forth a plan the financial planner doesn't just say let me give you your money we'll just kind of figure it out as we go if you have a financial planner that plans your money that way I would encourage you to find a different financial planner but the financial planner sets forth a plan with your goals in mind as you're creating a plan it should not be based on what you the mentor wants to teach but be based on what the mentee wants to learn that's the most important the mentees goals should inform and govern the plan figure out what they want to accomplish what they want to learn what they want to get out of it and then reverse engineer from there that's the goal that's what a financial planner does what are your goals when do you want to retire what do you what do you want your lifestyle to be like and go from there there are a variety of professions and other places where we see similar things if you're gonna be a great mentor you must be someone that plans thirdly if you're gonna be a great mentor you have to be someone that is extremely encouraging you have to be someone that encourages if you see someone that you're mentoring the first thing out of your mouth should be something positive some sort of compliment or some sort of words of praise or gratitude small or big I try to do this for any staff or interns that work for me I regularly try to correspond with them and every time they walk in my office or every time I see them I'd say hey that thing you did great job hey you saw you sent that email thank you so much for doing that and I regularly try to praise and encourage now quick tip when you're encouraging people I would encourage you to not praise natural talents but choices and behavior it's far more powerful I can go to someone and say hey you're really smart okay that feels good for the moment you know what causes someone to feel much more honored as I look at them and say you know you work really hard at studying and learning you cultivate the intelligence that your creator gave you you're really good at utilizing your intelligence great job man I'm so thankful for you and your willingness to utilize the talents you have that's far more encouraging and it will motivate them to continue to do the thing you just praised whatever behaviors or choices get praised and rewarded will always be the behaviors and choices that are repeated it's essential that we praise that we acknowledge and we encourage people we do this over and over and over again if you think you've done it too much chances are you probably haven't done it enough be and encourage you're constantly encouraging over and over and over and over again great mentors give their time they have a plan they are incredibly encouraging and lastly they know how to bring correction and instruction when needed this is really important I think most people struggle with this one but if you're gonna be a great men you've got to have the audacity the guts to look at someone in the eyes and say the way you're doing it is wrong that's not the way to do it I actually have a better way for you to do it we have to bring correction now we want to make sure that we are kind when we do it that make sure our voice tones and our body language are disarming right relaxed we want to make sure we don't come across as harsh or you know you're an idiot that's not what we want to be communicating but we want to be bold and clear we want to look at people and say the way you're doing it is not the right way to do it here's the right way to do it or hey this is a good way to do it because actually a better way to do it because good is often the enemy of best when I was coaching middle school basketball one of my favorite things I've ever done as an adult I had a young man by the name of Keith who was far and away the most more the most talented player I'd ever coached Keith had a really bad habit though when he would shoot the ball he would keep his elbow out like this and he would make a lot of shots but anyone who's ever played basketball knows that if you shoot from here eventually that ball is gonna get smack right back in your face you're gonna get a lot of balls blocked or you're gonna know with a broken nose I know from experience so as Keith the shooting I'm go to hey listen Keith you're our best player you're so talented and because I care about you and I love your long-term potential I have to point out something you're doing today that will get in the way of you being the best version of yourself would you mind if I pointed out sometimes I asked permission I say hey Keith I need you to bring your elbow in under the ball and shoot from a higher angle so that when you're playing at the high school and college level you'll be able to shoot over the guys that are taller than you were faster than you you'll soon be able to get your shot off but you gotta you have to you have to adjust your behavior something you're doing is wrong there's a better way well how do you know coach Kenny because I have more life experience than you Keith not because I'm more talented in you because I'm not not because I'm faster than you were smarter than you because I'm not Keith the only reason I know this and you don't because I've just been around a little while longer I've had my ball smacked back in my face Oh more than I'd like to admit I don't want that for you don't do it that way do it this way Keith and so frequently we're afraid to offend people we're afraid to tell people that they're doing something wrong but I would encourage you challenge you be willing to bring correction and instruction because without it you will not be a very effective mentor if you're going to be a great mentor you must absolutely be someone willing to give lots of time you must be someone that has a plan you must be someone who encourages a lot and you must be someone who brings correction and instruction not harshly look with clarity if you do those four things you will be a great mentor you would make a tremendous impact in lives of lots of people and they will accomplish all the potential they have in them because of your mentorship in them many people have handed the baton to you it's time for you to intentionally work hard to hand the baton to the next generation let's go be great mentors let's say yes to the next generation thank you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 49,798

Rating: 4.9406395 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Education, Culture, Education reform, Leadership, Learning

Id: G3q8kEn_nsg

Length: 14min 34sec (874 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 28 2019