How to (Actually) Get Out the Door on Time

hello actually I'm gonna be a half an hour late hello rains getting out the door and where we need to be on time is a huge challenge for ADHD brains when I was a kid I made us late all the time because of stuff I forgot until right before we left or five minutes after we left as a teenager it was almost impossible for me to wake up in the morning and as an adult I've been late so many times I've lost friends and even jobs but now that I work for myself it's even worse I can lose an entire day trying to get ready if I'm not careful these episodes are pre-recorded you can't tell what I'm recording them at midnight yay total lack of accountability so first of all if you're struggling with this give yourself a break this is something that most of us struggle with here are a few of the ADHD related challenges that make something as simple as getting ready on time a serious battle it's the challenge second of all there are strategies that can help which I have also been implementing successfully I'm happy to save because honestly I got really tired of recording at midnight so since most of us are behind on something right now or a lot of something I'll get right to it here are the top five tips I've found for how to get out the door on time one do as much as you can in advance the more we do ahead of time the less we'll have to do in the morning when we're groggy probably haven't slept well and our meds and or coffee hasn't kicked in bonus when we do things ahead of time our brains actually use a less impaired executive function system the cool executive function system instead of the hot executive function system we use in the heat of the moment in other words it's easier to make better choices I've linked to some great articles about this in the description below but for now here are some ideas for things that you can do ahead of time lay out your clothes the night before lunch the night before put everything you'll need to take with you on a launchpad by the door right out and or check your schedule for the next day finally and this is legitimately what got me through high school if you take ADHD meds take them half an hour before you have to wake up so that you're medicated when you have to start your routine you don't have to do everything in advance but at least try and tackle the things that tend to trip you up the goal here is to remove as many barriers as possible so that you don't spend your morning running into them to put on your time glasses it HDR's tend to be time blind or as I like to put it experienced time nearsightedness basically we have a terrible sense of how long things take which is why we tend to overestimate how much we can get done and still leave on time or how long we can wait before we have to get started it's not that we're being irresponsible it's that time looks really fuzzy to us especially when something is far away and because we are time nearsighted we have a very different definition of what counts as far away it's not our fault but it is our responsibility set timers have clocks everywhere where a watch the time timer is really great because it's very visual ADHD coach Erik tippers also recommends working on your time vision by predicting how long something will take writing that down then doing it and seeing how long it actually took in the meantime recognize that being on time is actually really hard because it's a very small target to hit most day th years I've talked to you who don't run late do it by aiming for early there are issues that can make being early challenging for us like an incredible intolerance for boredom which is a whole other episode but at least logistically speaking it's way easier to hit a bigger target personally I try to be done with my morning routine half an hour before I actually need to leave for work that way I can relate without being late three build a routine one of the things ADHD brains have a lot of trouble with is called set switching or transitioning between tasks we get stuck on one or we have trouble figuring out what we're supposed to do next having a routine can help with that and make those transitions smoother saving us a lot of time and mental energy this is easier said than done I've been using an app called really to help me set and stick to my routines it was developed by the parent of an ADHD child and it's brilliant you set up your child's routine ahead of time or your inner child smooth teen because there is absolutely nothing wrong with parenting yourself and when you're ready click start routine and swipe left every time you finish a task if you beat the clock you've got time left to do fun stuff if you're running late it automatically adjusts to make sure that you still get out the door on time if you run into a task you can't do because maybe somebody's in the bathroom at the moment you can swipe right and that task will come back in your routine later so that you don't forget it which is very helpful for things like put on deodorant if you set a time for when the routine needs to be finished and what days of the week it's for it will even remind you that it's time to get started by the way totally not sponsored just totally obsessed to the point that I have convinced the fine folks at really to make a version specifically for adults but they don't have a lot of resources so if you can and want to support them I highly encourage it they also offered a free month and a discount for anybody from the channel who wants to sign up there's a link in the description for that as well you can also check out my episodes on how to build routines here for use cues to stay on track ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in everyone does but for those of us with ADHD it happens a lot what's happening here is we have a more limited working memory meaning the ability to fold information in our heads while we work with it an easy way to help our brains out is to give them clear cues as to what they're supposed to be doing in each room as we get ready good cues are non-judgmental and clear really does this for me really well but examples of other good cues are post-it notes sticker charts leaving stuff out where you can see it setting reminders on your phone even having a playlist of songs and knowing at what point in your routine you need to be by a certain song examples of bad cues phone alarm that just says alarm cues in the wrong place where you can't actually act on them I have no idea what this was supposed to remind me of five incentivize yourself none of these strategies are gonna work if we don't have the motivation we need to use them a lot of the time whatever we're getting ready for is not nearly as exciting as what we could be doing instead of getting ready ADHD brains need more motivation than neurotypical brains because our brains don't naturally reward us with piles of dopamine for doing something as mundane as putting on pants so if we do manage to put on pants and make it out the door on time we need that effort to matter and not like eventually the late consequence is positive or negative don't work for us because again we experience time differently since most natural consequences are delays it's important that we create ones that aren't it feels silly but according to dr. Berkeley one of the leading researchers on 8-hd adding immediate accountability and incentives for someone with ADHD is like building a wheelchair ramp for somebody who needs a wheelchair it's not a luxury it's necessary for kids that incentive might look like half an hour of video game time if they get done early enough for adults that might look like stopping for a fancy coffee on the way to work if you leave in time I put my meetings in the mornings so that I'm incentivized to get to work on time if I earn enough stars and really I get to go get a massage the key is to find incentives that are motivating and that you can actually give yourself if I never go get that massage it's gonna stop working and by the way it's still mine the key is to find incentives that are motivating and that you can actually give yourself one of the most challenging things about ADHD is that nothing is ever the last solution managing ADHD is a constant re-evaluation of strategies because once the newness wears off they're harder to stick to it's really hard to predict what's gonna work and for how long the goal here isn't to be perfect it's to figure out what kinds of things tend to work for us so that when we need to tweak things we can to develop our ADHD tool belt so that we can get better at working with our brains not against them I hope these tips help you do that add your own tips in the comments below share this video if you think that it might be helpful for someone you know and of course click all the things so that you don't miss the next video on how to get someone with ADHD to do what you want thank you so much to my brain advocates and all my patreon brains for giving me the incentive to keep making these videos and thank you to my team behind the scenes for providing the accountability I need to stay on track I will see you all next time bye brains [Music]

Channel: How to ADHD

Views: 308,588

Keywords: add, adhd, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, jessica mccabe, how to, actually, get, tout, the, door, on, time, how to get out the door, fail, failure, adhd treatment, depression, anxiety, adhd tips, how to adhd, adhd in adults, neurodiversity, stress, coping skills, attention deficit disorder, adult adhd, planner, late, back to school, parenting tips, kati morton, college, university, autism

Id: rC3tG3lbrNM

Length: 8min 29sec (509 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 23 2019