Welcome back to the Gentleman's Gazette! In today's video I discuss how not to reply
to a compliment, how to accept it like a gentleman, and how to give one in return. Once you start dressing up, you'll notice
that people will compliment you much more often, it's a good thing. Don't spoil it! Your colleagues at work, random strangers,
or even your mom, are much more likely to say something flattering about you because
you look nice. The problem is, people are uncomfortable when
they are complimented. It sometimes even makes them feel modest,
guilty, or embarassed. It can also make you feel like an impostor
or people start to interpret things into it like "What is he really saying here?" or "What does he want from me?". As a consequence, people often reply to a
compliment in a way that makes the whole situation awkward. Basically, it turns something positive to
something negative and it's just sad and the worst case, makes you look like an asshole. So, here's how you should not reply to a compliment. 1. First of all, don't correct people. Let's say somebody walks up to you and says
"Nice suit, man!" and you reply, "Well, it's actually a sport coat.". It makes you look like a big prick. Of course, a suit is different from a sport
coat but this person was just trying to be nice and it's not the time to educate or correct
them. 2. Resist the urge to escape Let's say someone walks up to you and says
"I love your....", you get uncomfortable and interrupt them and say "Oh, got to go. Sorry.", that's a bad thing. It's just awkward and it makes them feel like
they said something wrong and in fact, something so bad that you ran from them. 3. Don't deny stuff Let's assume someone walks up to you and says
"Hey, great haircut!" and you say "Oh no, I really hate that and I want to get rid of
it.". It makes them feel like they have bad taste. On top of that, it also shows that you don't
have tact. 4. One of the worst things you can do is to deflect
a compliment. Compliment: "Hey, I really like your tie a
lot!" Your response: "Oh no, yours is even better!" It seems clearly made up on the spot and just
seems very disingenuous because you just said exactly the same thing that they said to you. Nobody's going to believe you. 5. Don't explain or over explain. "Man, I love those shoes." " Well actually, I got them from my mom and
she always says women like nice shoes and I really hope I could pick up nice girls in
them." Once you say that, people feel like it's an
overshare. They'll think you're a geeky, needy, awkward
person and they will certainly not compliment you again and they probably don't even want
to talk to you again. 6. Don't brag "Nice tie, bro!" "Yeah, it's from Hermes, cost me $200. I have the entire collection at home." This is probably the biggest, asshole move
you can make because you just brag about yourself and how awesome you are. 7. Never cheapen a compliment
"Oh, this is an interesting pocket square!" "Oh no, it's nothing special! I just bought them for 50 cents at a thrift
store next door." Basically, what you're saying is the other
person has cheap taste and who wants to hear that? 8. Don't forfeit
Let's go back to the pocket square example. It's like "Oh no, it's nothing special. Here! It'll look much better on you, you want it?". Just because someone compliments you because
it works for you, doesn't mean it'd work for them. Also, you just told them that it was something
bad and you give it to them, you show them how much you appreciate them which is very
little. So now that we have all these bad examples,
how do you accept a compliment like a gentleman? 1. Relax Someone is just trying to be nice and says
something nice to you, that's it. Don't try to interpet things at all. Simply smile and say thank you. That's really all there is to it. It's particularly true if a stranger compliments
you and you'll probably never see them again and that's okay. Just go along and smile. On the other hand, if it's a compliment from
someone you see regularly, again, do not deflect and just say something nice about them. 2. Try to observe them Over the next week or two, if you find something
that's truly special and unique about them, you can compliment them. Don't say "You look great today!" because that's generic, they've heard it a
thousand times, and they don't believe you. It's also very uncreative. 3. Compliment their actions Maybe a job they did well or the food they
cooked or something they're really interested in because it shows them that you paid attention
to them and you said something meaningful. Should you compliment someone on their looks
even on details? Well, that depends. 1. Don't ever compliment their physical features It backfires and catcalling of course, is
not a compliment. On the other hand, let's say someone is really
into their clothes and you saw that they got a new pair of heels, you can of course remark
on them because they will likely be very flattered to hear they got a good pair of shoes that
you like. Bottomline is, in order to give a great compliment
back, you have to pay attention! So whenever you pay a compliment, it's essential
that it's genuine. Otherwise, your body language and the way
you say it will communicate that it's not true then it really backfires on you. If you enjoyed this video, please sign up
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