How the Eucharist Made Me Catholic - Conversion Story of Bernz O. Caasi | English

if you are going to die today where will you go heaven or hell i was in third year high school when i heard that chilling question from a friend and i didn't know what to say or what to do and then i tried explaining myself and told him well perhaps since i am trying to be a good son and a good student although i might need some purification i think i could go through purgatory his eyes glisten and ask me another question which i feared the most during that time where do you find that in the bible dear friends my name is burns okasi i am from the philippines i founded unboxing catholicism community which produces a podcast a weekly online show an online course on apologetics and evangelization and other online projects done by our volunteers to help catholics all over the world understand the catholic faith deeply so we can all explain it clearly without being preachy in this short talk i would like to share with you my conversion story and how i found jesus in the sacrament of the eucharist and how our lady brought me home to the catholic church [Music] like most filipinos i was born and baptized as a catholic i felt like my understanding of the catholic faith was just on the surface i could say that i was going to the motions of tradition without the benefit of a deep and regular christian formation and i started meeting non-catholic christian friends who challenged my faith and asked me a lot of questions that i didn't know how to answer i slowly drifted away from the catholic faith of my childhood and began to think that perhaps protestants were right that we worship mary that perhaps protestants were right that we invented the papacy that we added so many books to the bible and that all catholics will go to hell i was told that the church is the of babylon the synagogue of satan and the pope is the devil in flesh learning more and more about these misconceptions about the faith i went home one day after sunday service and i told my mom out of compassion out of zeal for for for salvation of souls i told her mom let's burn the statues of the saints because i thought that they were in violation with what god was saying in exodus 20 that we should not make any graven images of anything that has the likeness of anything that is above and anything that is beneath on weekends we would go house to house knocking on people's door asking them if they have five minutes at least five minutes for us to be able to share the gospel and share with them the message of salvation and because of this i even thought that god was calling me to become a pastor but i was enrolled to a university that even though it was not a catholic institution by definition it has a deep spirituality that is rooted in the teachings of the church the name of the university is university of asia and the pacific here in the philippines they are not a catholic school but their spiritual formation was entrusted to a pre-lecture within the church called opus dei and so i entered this university with that deep conviction that i had to save catholics and guess what i didn't know that i had to take theology classes philosophy classes ethics classes and classes on christian civilization or church history i could clearly remember i was taking theology one i was so passionate about my newfound protestant christianity and then after the first theology class my professor dr rocket carvalho asked everyone who here are not catholics and i proudly raised my hand and told him sir i am a true believer of christ i'm a christian i'm not a catholic he didn't argue he didn't say anything negative or derogatory he was not condescending he just smiled at me and asked me can we meet one of these days i'd love to chat with you so i went to his office we had a great chat and at the end of the chat he asked me burns how did you become a protestant and then i told him about my conversion story that when i was still a catholic i didn't know the bible when i was still a catholic i didn't know how to pray when i was still a catholic i didn't see jesus as my personal lord and savior but when i became a protestant i could quote scriptures on top of my head i feel like jesus is with me whenever i i sing praise and worship songs that i that i feel like i'm saved and nothing can ever take me away from the salvation given by god i can even remember the day and time when i was quote unquote saved because you have to remember my dear friends that protestants believe in osas o-s-a-s one save always saved and rocket listened carefully he didn't argue but he told me one simple thing that i would never ever forget he told me you're missing that one most important thing about the christian faith of course that should be the bible i have read the bible and i continue reading the gospels we do daily devotionals we do our reflections we had all the things that a christian should have what am i missing he told me you are missing the eucharist and i i was taken aback and i asked him what the hell was the eucharist i quietly left the office that afternoon and i was thinking about that but of course because of perhaps pride i dismissed it as far as i was concerned i was saved and i didn't know and i didn't know about that eucharist thing i didn't need it all i need was jesus and the fact that he has saved me and the fact that i am called to become a pastor to save people just like what saint paul has done fast forward some years i took theology 2 which was about the sacraments and then i took theology three which was about moral theology or ethics and that i i was so uncomfortable whenever my priest professors will be quoting scriptures on top of their head and they are able to explain my catholic my misconceptions about the catholic faith based from the bible why because i was told that catholics don't know anything about the bible catholics don't even read the bible and so i was deeply deeply shocked by that by what i was seeing because it was in complete contradiction to what i was being told in my protestant community and then fast forward third year college and then come the last quarter of third year the pope came here everyone was so intrigued about the pope i myself was so glued to the television even my mom because we didn't have classes during that day it was called off so that everyone can join the country in celebration unfortunately my protestant friends were not so happy about it and most especially the leaders of our church they were huddled together during that time praying to god that the pope may not deceive anyone during his visit meanwhile my mom and i were at home were watching the news and as soon as the pope as soon as the pope left the airplane and walked down the airport i didn't know what happened but i suddenly remembered what rocket told me burns you are missing a lot burns you are missing the eucharist and suddenly i also remembered that every time i will do my christian devotions or my daily devotions and every time i will read the bible and every time i will attend class there is this little voice at the back of my head asking me burns are you 100 sure about leaving the church burns did you really study the faith that you have left and slowly as the pope was walking i didn't notice the tears were already flowing down my eyes down my face and i started feeling a longing that i've never felt before and then i posted something on facebook that went like this finally lolokiko is here lolokiko means gran pakico that's how we call him here in the philippines i am not a catholic christian but may his message of mercy and compassion inspire all of us christians regardless of our traditions in our denominations i was called by one of our leaders after the church service and i was told burns we are afraid that you are being deceived by satan and i asked him why we saw your post about the pope and you know that being one of the leaders of our community you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be deceived by this by this lies of the devil and i stepped back and i asked that leader what if we are wrong what if all these years we just didn't understand what the catholic church was actually teaching i didn't expect myself to be asking that question i went to the university library for several months i have borrowed several books i was so shocked to discover the stories of steve ray of scott han the books of patrick madrid surprised by truth and a lot of catholic converts who have crossed the tiber and have joined or went back to the catholic church i didn't know it was possible i didn't know that once someone became a protestant or once someone becomes a protestant there is a way to go back to the church i was deeply shaken slowly my in my understanding of sola scriptura solafide were crumbling and i was so afraid i still didn't want to believe what i was reading so i called the friends and asked them hey you have to help me because i think i'm being called back to rome some of them is understood and actually told me well if you're gonna go to rome please bring us gifts and i told them no i'm not just gonna go there for vacation i was telling i was trying to tell you that i think god is calling me to become a catholic a catholic burns are you out of your mind why would you go back to that idolatrous religion why would you want to be a cannibal a cannibal why would you say a cannibal didn't you know that those crazy catholics would say that they eat the body of christ and they drink his blood isn't that cannibalism and once more my dear friends when i heard that when i was told about that i had that question again what is this eucharist that rocket told me that i am missing and one afternoon after having a long discussion about westminster confession about the catechism about sola grazia and solafide and other protestant teachings with some protestant leaders from another church i was already growing frustrated and i didn't know what to do and i found myself walking back to the university and i found myself going to stella oriente's oratory and there i was i knelt before the statue of our lady and told her you know what i was told you can't hear me you know what i was told that i am committing the sin of idolatry just by kneeling before you and talking to you i don't know what that what i'm doing here i don't know why i'm here but i'm giving you one last chance mary if you hear me if you can if you are real please give me peace and i spent the next minutes just crying and pouring out all my questions and confusions there but i left the oratory at peace and after that night i continued attending our protestant church i continued leading bible studies and preaching at times we continued doing some projects but deep inside me i knew that i was trying to run away from something for another time i quietly read john chapter 6 the bread of life discourse now with more openness with more honesty and with more humility i am saying the plain words of our savior truly i tell you until you eat unless you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood you have no life in you for truly my flesh is real food and my blood is real dream and and as emphasized by a lot of other apologies if you are going to look at the greek context the greek translation of these words that the lord used to report to chew to eating he was saying you chew on my body you chew you drink my blood and reading further down john chapter 6 i saw the reaction of the jews they didn't take it that jesus was talking about a symbol of his body and blood one by one the hearers the disciples of jesus who followed him after so many miles of travel started leaving him just because he said eat my body and drink my blood jesus my dear friends was willing to risk his entire ministry he was so willing to lose his followers just to make the point that what he said in john chapter 6 was not symbolical but literal and then he turned to the apostles are you also going to leave me and what is striking here peter didn't say lord i understood what you said that the bread and wine in the mass will become your body and blood and that's what we call in theology transubstantiation no peter didn't say that it's i could imagine peter and the apostles were looking at each other they didn't know what to say and that peter the first pope spoke and said lord to whom shall we go you alone have the words of eternal life in other words peter was saying lord we did not understand how we're going to eat your body how we're going to drink your blood but we have faith in you because you are god and you will not tell us anything that will that we will not be able to understand comprehend nor do in the future i attended mass again with this question in my head how come i get more inspiration and more learnings when i attend a sermon of a protestant pastor as compared to when i attend a mass the priest went to the liturgy of the eucharist and started praying i suddenly felt a deep jolt in my soul and my eyes were glued to the priest and the host and suddenly i remember john chapter 6 again after one year of that incident in capernaum and on that night when he was betrayed and entered willingly into his passion he took bread and giving thanks gave it to his disciples and said take this all of you and eat of it for this is my body which will be given up for you and on a similar way when supper was ended he took the chalice and once more giving you thanks gave the chalice to his disciples and said take this all of you and drink from it this is the chalice of my blood of a new and everlasting covenant which will be shed out for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins do this in memory of me jesus didn't say this looks like my body this is a representation of my body no he said plainly and simply this is my body and this is my blood and going back on that mass during that night when the priest elevated the host i heard the lord telling me this is me until when are you going to run away from me and then i realized that after all i was not running away from something i was running away from someone and during that time i have realized something that i have never thought of before yes i was more inspired and more emotional in the protestant services that i have attended yes we spend a lot of time studying the written word of god but nothing compares in the experience that is being offered by god in the holy mass where we just don't hear the written word of god but we consume and receive the incarnate word of god jesus himself his body blood soul and divinity is being given to us if in the process in the protestant services in the protestant world we we speak of receiving jesus as our personal lord and savior here in the holy mass in each single mass of each day we receive jesus into our hearts into our bodies and just as we say we become what we eat we eat his presence and we become his presence to the world that was a powerful realization and i couldn't contain the joy after i was after that mass i was left there in that pew staring at the blessed sacrament longing for the lord hidden beneath it and then another person approached me and then he was my friend he saw me crying and he was so confused and he was asking me how come you are here and why are you crying and then i told him i finally met him i finally realized whom i was running away from i finally saw the lord i finally saw my salvation and then he started crying also and told me you know what i was praying for you a while ago in the mass and i was really really asking god to give you the grace of conversion that was a beautiful moment of grace and guess what pride still kicked in and i went back to my usual life of trying to become a catholic but then at the same time remaining as a protestant i still couldn't make that leap of faith and then a friend asked me how else do you want jesus to prove to you that he wants you to become a catholic that question hit me because at that point i already discovered that it was the catholic church that was historically founded by christ that the first century christianity was really catholic that they had the pope they had the sacraments and the catholic church most surprisingly for me was the one responsible for compiling the scriptures and so i told my friend fine next thursday i'll go to confession and so on that thursday it was an ordinary class day there were no parts of angels singing it was just me going to the confessional after so many years at the end the priest told me burns you know what you are very blessed because today is the feast of our lady of mount carmel i didn't know that and as i was doing my penance i was kneeling once more in front of our lady and i remember that night when i was praying desperately seeking peace she heard me our lady did not just give me peace she brought me home and after so many years i was able to attend mass again as a catholic but now with a different perspective but now with a deeper understanding of what happens in the mass it is the highest form of prayer for it is in the holy mass where jesus renews his sacrifice on the cross look at the cross my dear friends jesus gives himself to us to save us but in the holy mass the unbloody sacrifice of the lamb jesus god himself continues to give himself to us to nourish us with his body blood soul and divinity and therefore when i stood up and lined up for communion my hands were trembling and as i knelt and received the host on my tongue i could only ask him who am i that true are mindful of me who am i i am a sinner and yet the lord who created the heavens and the earth the lord who died on that cross is giving himself totally to me who am i and so my dear friends let me also ask you that question are you also missing the meaning of the eucharist we could take advantage of this message for us to really seek deeply in our hearts in our minds a deeper understanding of the catholic faith i invite you to read the catechism try during this advent season to have that deep sense of eucharistic piety and once you see the reality of the eucharist you will never ever see the mass the same way again so my dear friends thank you for giving me this opportunity to share with you my story and i'd like to invite you to become part of this growing community of unboxing catholicism sign up for free and you will receive daily contents on apologetics and evangelization just go to www.unboxingcatholicism.com community and i hope to see you there let's chat i hope to connect with you and together let's unbox the faith and explain it clearly without being preachy you

Channel: Bernz O. Caasi | Unboxing Catholicism

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Length: 23min 5sec (1385 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 13 2021