What do you think is the one thing that differentiates
successful people from the rest? Or what is the one thing that makes successful people
successful? It might seem there isn't like one thing,
but many, that might have some truth in it, however, they all come down to a single character
or habit. If you want to know why most people would
never leave the cycle of poverty? How to tell if a kid is going to be successful when he
is just four years old and what the rich parents teach their kids unconsciously that makes
them successful? Then Stick around because we are going to
answer these questions and many more. When we see a successful person, we tend to think that they might be smart, talented,
or just pure genius. Of course, that's true to a certain extent. Still, the research shows
that Delaying gratification is the main reason what separates successful people from the
rest of us. It is when you resist the temptation of
an immediate smaller reward in order to receive a more substantial reward later.
It's when you stop scrolling your Instagram feed and get back to work. Or stop watching
YouTube and start getting ready for tomorrow's test or hit the gym at night instead of going
to a party. The research shows that being able to delay
gratification is a great habit. It leads to academic success, physical health, psychological
health, and social competence. In the 1960s, Walter Mischel conducted an
experiment at Stanford University. In an empty room with nothing but two chairs and a table,
The researcher presented four-year-kids with a marshmallow and told the children that,
here is the deal - I am going to leave the room, and you have two options: (1) you can
ring the bell that's besides the marshmallow at any point and eat the marshmallow, or (2)
wait until I come back (about 15 minutes later), and I will get another marshmallow so you
will earn two marshmallows. Sounds like a good deal? Right?
The message was: "small reward now or bigger reward later."
So, what did the children chose? Some children broke down and ate the marshmallow.
In contrast, others were able to delay gratification and earn the promised two marshmallows.
Mischel found that children were able to wait longer if they used certain "cool" distraction
techniques, covering their eyes, hiding under the desk, singing songs, or imagining pretzels
instead of the marshmallow in front of them, or if they changed the way they thought about
the marshmallow, focusing on its similarity to a cotton ball, rather than on its delectable
taste). Here is where the exciting part starts. After many years, 1981, Mischel decided to check
out on these kids to find out how they are doing in their lives, and if the experiment
he conducted can tell us something about these kids. The children who waited longer, demonstrated
a striking array of advantages over their peers. As teenagers, they had higher SAT scores,
social competence, self-confidence, and self-worth, and were rated by their parents as more mature,
better able to cope with stress, more likely to plan ahead, and more likely to use reason.
They were less likely to have conduct disorders or high levels of impulsivity and aggressiveness.
As adults, the high delayers were less likely to have drug problems or other addictive behaviors
or get divorced. The experiment went as far as showing influence over their body mass.
Each minute that a preschooler was able to delay gratification translated to a .2% reduction
in Body Mass Index 30 years later. On the other side, kids who couldn't wait
long enough for the second marshmallow, as teenagers, struggled to make friends, had
a difficult time handling stress and struggled to stay focused. Does that mean that if, as a kid, you couldn't
wait for a second candy, you are not going to be successful later in your life? Well,
the answer isn't straight forward. It is a little bit more complicated.
Base on Walter Mischel's research, self-control or being able to delay gratification is a
muscle. You can train it like any other muscle on your body, you might not achieve a huge
success instantly, but over the long run, you will be fine. Remember, the reward must have some value
to you. Without a reward that is meaningful, providing delayed or immediate gratification
serves little purpose, as the reward is not a strong reinforcer of the desired behavior.
In other words, if you want to delay gratification, make sure you pick a significantly bigger
reward. Let's say you have decided to save money to
invest. But then Apple releases a new iPhone that you eagerly want to buy. To avoid the
temptation to buy the new iPhone you have to make it crystally clear to your brain why
saving that money is going to result in a bigger gratification later such as financial
freedom. But, in 2018, Tyler Watts, who was inspired by Mischel's experiment, decided to redo the
experiment and found out that delaying gratification has more to do with the income of your parents.
If your parents are rich, you are more likely to wait for the second marshmallow and end
up successful later in life, while if you are born to a poor family, you are more likely
to ring the bell and eat the marshmallow. There is a fantastic article on it by The
Atlantic ( https://bit.ly/3b0mh9o ), but I will summarise it in short. Watts used a much larger sample, 900 kids
compared to 90 kids that Mischel used. And also more representative of the general population
in terms of race, ethnicity, and parents' education.
They included factors such as the income of a child's household to explain children's
ability to delay gratification and their long-term success. He found little evidence for the idea that
being able to delay gratification leads to better outcomes. But rather, the ability to
wait for the second marshmallow has to do more with Childs social and economic background.
Therefore that background, not the ability to delay gratification, is what's behind kids'
long-term success. Here is the experiment. The kids whose mothers
had a college degree and waited for a second marshmallow did no better in the long run,
they didn't do better in school or in tests or even in their behavior. The same thing
was found among kids whose mothers did not have college degrees. But when these two groups
were compared together. Kids from wealthier households waited for the second marshmallow
did significantly better, compare to the kids from low-income households. So the researchers came to the conclusion
that for poor kids, daily life holds fewer guarantees: There might be food in the fridge
today, but there might not be tomorrow, so there is a risk that comes with waiting. And
even if their parents promise to buy more sweets tomorrow, often that promise gets broken
out of financial necessity. Meanwhile, for kids who come from families
with parents who are better educated and earn more money, it's typically easier to delay
gratification because Experience tends to tell them that adults have the resources and
financial stability to keep their promise. And even if they don't end up getting the
marshmallow, their parents will get them different sweets. There are plenty of other research that
proves this, one of them is this book Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much. How poverty
can push people to settle for short-term rather than long-term rewards. For poor kids, the second marshmallow seems
unreal when a child has reason to believe that the first one might vanish right under
his nose. Many Teenagers often growing up in poverty
chose to work long hours in poorly paid jobs to support themselves and their families somehow.
Despite barely covering the bills, the teenagers still splurge on payday, buying things like
McDonald's or new clothes. Other research shows that low-income parents
are more likely than wealthier parents to give in to their kids' requests for sweet
treats. These findings illustrate that that poor parents
try to indulge their kids when they can, while wealthier parents tend to make their kids
wait for bigger rewards. An ice-cream or a sneakers bar might seem
foolish. But things like these are often the only indulgences
poor families can afford. And for poor children, indulging in a small bit of joy today can
make life feel more happier, especially when there's no guarantee of more joy tomorrow. Its something like a cycle of poverty that
most people will never escape. I just want to remind you guys that I have
started a brand new channel called interesting enough. Where I talk about interesting stuff
like will the economy collapse because of this virus, how long will it take us to create
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Or even things such as is illuminati is real or not, some fascinating facts about world
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