Anime has become a medium that has touched millions of people's hearts throughout the world From a shonen like Attack on Titan to a simple tale like Violet Evergarden to maybe even some shows about some girls in a band. Everyone has that one anime that has affected their life in some way Whether it teaches them some kind of important
lesson or helps them realize that they need to change we all in the anime community have that one
special show we treasure that has forever changed our world. I found that show that I treasure like
no other in June of 2020 Today, I'll be talking about how my life fell to pieces and how Steins;Gate saved my life. To understand the impact Steins;Gate had on me we're going to need to take a deep
dive into my life my backstory, if that's what you want to call it is going to be a little long and
it will be very personal but I promise it is all necessary for the analysis of Steins;Gate I'm going
to do later. I apologize in advance, though, if this video gets weird at all as this is my first time
talking about a lot of these things in length. High school was... not easy... For most people 9th grade is their worst year But for me, actually, it was my best. I started at a new school
without my best friends from middle school but I figured things would be OK and, you know, at first they they were alright. 9th grade was a lot of fun. I became good friends with a lot
of the teachers on campus, surprisingly, because the school was very small and I just fell in love with every aspect of going to that campus. I acted really goofy and this was when I started a new
YouTube channel called Blaze Walker "Did you die?" "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" *Evil laughter* So I donned that as my personality at school,
almost. I would refer to myself as a crazy blonde guy that screamed and joked all the
time and that sort of became my persona at campus although throughout 9th grade I did some
things that I definitely was not very proud of I still kept all of my friends and relations from
middle school and one of those was a girl I'm going to refer to as "Kaori." Her and I had been dating off and on for a while but we managed to finally solidify our relationship together It made me really happy and it was at this that I was probably the happiest I ever was in a relationship
with somebody. However, when high school came around I met a girl that I'll refer to as Emma. Emma was someone I enjoyed talking to a lot and me with my 9th grade brain mistook this for romantic feelings. I then made probably one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made and I broke up with Kaori with the
intention of dating Emma but I felt so much guilt about hurting Kaori that I never went through
with dating Emma and that ended up resulting in me hurting two girls This was something that, at the
time, really did destroy my mental and that persona of Blaze Walker became my everything because I
hated who I was for a very long time because of these initial actions This persona was a lot like
Okabe's Hououin Kyouma personality where I used to mask myself as someone that was always happy In reality, though, it was just a way to cope with the immense amount of guilt that I felt on the daily. After some time, school came to a close as summer crept in I met up with my three best buds Logan,
Mamadou, and Gage and we had a blast all summer But my regret never really completely left me. A few months later, school started up again. 10th grade started off nicely and me and Emma reconciled
our friendship with one another. Things seemed optimistic again and I hoped to one day make it up
to Kaori somehow. My friend, who was known as Gavin at this point in time started dating a girl. After
a week of them being together he would introduce me to that girl, that I'm going to refer to as
"Mirai." She seemed really nice and I was excited to get to know her, but I had no idea that I was
about to start the hardest chapter of my life... *Static noise* *Background music* *Static noise* Things between Gavin and Mirai obviously were
not working out, as it was very clear she did not want to be with him anymore. I have a really bad
tendency of doing whatever I can to help people or getting involved in situations I definitely should
not be in, and I saw how upset she was one day and I decided to reach out to her. She expressed to me
that she wanted to break up with him, but didn't know how to do it or if she could. I talked to her
for a few hours that night and she finally built up the courage to do it, though. Mirai broke up with
Gavin the next day after their breakup, Mirai and I started to become very close. People around campus
often mistook us for a couple and that thought made me extremely uncomfortable, so I would tell
them that I thought of Mirai as family. One night Mirai said that maybe we should buckle down and
become an actual couple and I told her I couldn't do that I told her about what happened with Kaori and I was waiting for her to forgive me so I could make her happy again one day. To my surprise, Mirai's response was a story of her entire life. I now know that she would often do this to
manipulate people to become very close with her or doing what she wanted them to do. But, naturally, at the time I had no clue that's what she was doing. She told me her parents had a messy divorce,
which led her to move down to Florida, and that led to her mother picking up drugs and getting a bad
boyfriend. One that abused the kids and inevitably got her and her brother taken away from her mom. Mirai now was in foster care and she told me that she had a history of attempted suicides. I was shocked that she had gone through so much and because of my helping nature, I now felt extremely
responsible for her after she told me all of this. Weirdly enough, though, she got a boyfriend the very
next day Anyways, I'll call him Matt. Over the weeks the guilt I felt from basically rejecting her grew
immensely and I didn't want to hurt another girl. Especially one that had been through so much
in her life. So after a few weeks, I hesitantly confessed what I assumed to be feelings to her
and she proceeded to break up with her current boyfriend immediately for me. This was the start of three years worth of events Naturally, I can't go completely into detail about all of it since it spanned over multiple years, but I'll do my best to hit key points that are gonna be important
for this video. Things sailed smoothly for the first month But that changed very quickly as the
second month came around Mirai grew increasingly more angsty and sporadic and she often got into
fights with her foster parents. One night because of the fights she got her phone taken away from her and I had an old iPhone 5 laying around so I gave it to her to use she then proceeded to look through all of my old text messages and accused me of not really loving her or
cheating on her. That same night. This was the first really big red flag But I ignored it because I didn't want to think I made the wrong decision It was after this that things became rocky for a
few months, but we trucked through our relationship anyways. I put a lot into making her happy, but
it really never seemed like enough. One January afternoon, I planned something big for her and
I came into school the next morning to surprise her with it all. When we were delivered the news
that our friend - that I'm going to refer to as "Druggie" - had taken his life the night before. This shook me to my core. It might sound silly but up until this point, suicide did not seem like
something that was actually real. I knew it existed but I didn't know exactly how much of an impact it
had on people until I saw a classroom full of my friends crying. Our friend's death seemed to have
a very negative impact on Mirai, as she claimed to become suicidal. Looking back on it now, it was so obviously a ploy for attention but, you know after just experiencing a death of a friend of yours,
you will definitely believe a claim like that. To keep her from getting increasingly more suicidal, I gave her more attention than ever after this and it was around this point I quit everything
in my free time. I didn't play games anymore, I stopped watching anime, I stopped hanging out with
my friends it all disappeared to focus on her. She wanted to log into my Instagram account, so I let
her and she gave me permission to log into hers. You'd think I'd have learned over the last time
she had something of mine, but I did not. She read through all my messages and she accused me of
cheating on her with some of my best friends. She began threatening her life if I didn't block
them, so naturally, I did I blocked some of my closest friends that were girls. The last thing I
wanted to do was upset Mirai further, so I did what I thought would make her happier It was my fault that I blocked these people. around a month had passed since Druggie's passing and my relationship, I knew was it was not healthy anymore. I started thinking of breaking up with her and then one night I was
approached by a friend of mine that was telling me that our friend Batman looked like he was going
to take his life that night. Batman recently had a breakup with his girlfriend of 6 months, and he did not handle it well. I did all I could to talk him through his breakup, but I guess no
matter how much we talked it never really got completely through to him. I panicked as soon as I heard this news and I immediately dialed 911 and I talked to 3 different police stations
in our town and towns around us to get someone to go save him. Later that night his ex-girlfriend
texted me and told me he was okay, so I went to sleep relieved that night. That next day I came
into school with the intention of breaking up with Mirai and giving Batman a big hug, when I was
greeted with friends crying again. Batman had hung himself, and his ex-girlfriend didn't tell me
the truth. I'm 19, so I haven't lived for super long, but this was the one point in my life that
I mentally and emotionally lost it after having blocked some of my friends and quitting gaming
and quitting a lot of things in my free time it was at this moment that everything that had
been happening the last few months finally hit me and I felt completely alone despite my original
intentions to leave Mirai I now felt as if she was the only one that I had because of my mental state
though after losing batman she didn't want to deal with me much and began to hang out with some other guys at school and started pushing me to the side she would hug them and be very affectionate with
them while not giving me any attention at all and naturally I complained that it wasn't fair of her
to make me block my friends that were girls, but she would get to cling to her friends that were
guys. She didn't care this is actually something she would proceed to do every month meeting new
guy friends and spending a lot of time with them I wasn't allowed to have friends that were girls.
I knew this was toxic but I didn't care because after losing two friends and losing a bunch of my
free time and blocking people, I couldn't lose her too. February was a long month that year. I don't
even really know how I made it through it but now I felt guilt for breaking two girls hearts and i
felt the guilt of not being able to save somebody a good portion of that year passed and i had
become extremely depressed i still tried to do what I could to hold the blaze walker for kate
on the outside but it was draining my 11th grade year rolled around and I felt so empty being at a
school that I once loved a few days before our one year anniversary Mirai texts me about dreams she
had been having recently involving the boyfriend Matt that she left me for a long time ago she
said that she thought she still had feelings for him which naturally I thought was absurd she dated
him for less than a month and left him for me and we had now been dating for a year at this point I
didn't understand where she was coming from at all but I handled it as responsibly as I could however
this started a very big growing fear in me about her leaving me our one year anniversary rolled
around and I gave her a sapphire ring that I worked all summer to save up for she gave me nothing
I felt a little bad but it wasn't enough to get me overworked she began to plan a Halloween party
and matt was on the list for people to be invited Matt and Mirai had been growing very close
over the last few days actually which made me really uncomfortable I asked her not to invite
him and she proceeded to guilt trip me, saying that Matt was a friend of hers that she always wanted
to be close to and by denying her this right I was denying her happiness so matt was invited to the
party despite what i wanted she had been becoming extremely distant to me after our anniversary and
when the day her halloween party came around i got a gut feeling that i shouldn't go i remember very
distinctly me and my parents were at a restaurant about 20 minutes from her place and I told my
parents that I didn't think that I should go because I felt something bad was going to happen
I should have trusted my gut but I shook it off and I went to anyways she then blew me off
that entire night to hang out with matt and after I left the party that night she broke up
with me I found out the next day that she had been cheating on me with him for about a week
prior to the party I was distraught at first thinking I had lost the absolute most important
person to me ever but as that week progressed people on campus came to me and they told me how
bad she had been talking about me to everybody I mourned our breakup for a week and a half but
I decided to move past it now I was finally free I reconnected with old friends I met back up with
Kaori and finally began to make things up to her and I began to pursue filmmaking this was when my
first film hard knocks was made things looked up for me but Mirai kept contacting me and blaming
me for people treating her differently on campus I told her I didn't do anything at
all and that it was all her own doing but she continued to blame me for everything
she would curse me out she would insult me and she would belittle me because she thought
I was ruining her life there was an instance where she told me that she should have
said no when i confessed feelings to her and even though a lot of our relationship might
have been superficial that still really hurt a lot after about a month past our breakup she
left Matt and came back to me naturally, I turned her down a few times not wanting to get back
with her but she began begging me on the daily and calling me just for her to cry for a few hours
about how she missed me I didn't want to let go of the new life that I had. I didn't want to leave
Kaori again after finally fixing things with her. That was when she started to threaten her
life like she did nine months prior when we lost Batman and Druggie. I couldn't handle this
after losing two friends and feeling so guilty for not saving one of them, I was not prepared
to go through that again and another one of my biggest regrets of my life I left my new life
behind and I resumed a relationship with Mirai Mirai this time around despite her being
the one who cheated, was much stricter. She would read and go through my phone on the
daily she would control who I talked to on social media and she would get extremely upset
when I went out of the house to go do anything I had to stop actually nearly every activity
outside of my house and this time around she made me block out nearly all of my friends this
time no matter if they were a guy or a girl after finally making things up to Kaori after two years I had her blocked out of my life. Her and I would talk again occasionally in the near future, but
things were never the same. Not a day goes by where I don't think about Kaori and how she's doing. I had to keep this relationship a secret from my parents because they didn't want me to
go back with Mirai and this began one of the worst years of my entire life. I don't want to sound "edgy" but it was around this point that I think I forgot what happiness actually felt
like. Even to this day I still really don't have a grasp on when I'm truly happy anymore. I lost a
way of life that made me happy I lost my friends I couldn't turn to my parents anymore I was like a bird in a cage. The next few months were not easy Life began to feel more like a chore than
just something that happened naturally I had to force myself to do things there were
some actions that took place that are probably best left unsaid for the most part though I don't
really remember much from this time my head as these were times I tried to forget about i didn't
want to remember how I felt in those few months A few more months go by and we end up at a local
convention called Swamp Con in March of 2019. however the first day I got caught by my parents
with her so I wasn't allowed to come back the second day but the second day is when mira met a
guy that I'm going to refer to as deku instantly I recognized how she was treating him as the same
way she was with matt and I tried to shut it down but she instead forced me to become friends with
deku's friends and I'm going to refer to them as Ronald and Ronald's brother pat I did what
I could to try and keep Mirai away from them but this resulted in her cheating on me with
pat I broke up with her on the spot and after this she got a crush on Deku and then she ended
up dating Ronald so she cheated on me with pat she left pat to get a crush on Deku and then
she left Deku after giving his hopes up and ended up dating Ronald she single-handedly
ripped that friend group apart and she broke my heart for the second time I tried to win her
back at school a few times but this led to her beating me slapping me and the day that was my
last straw was when she repeatedly punched me in the nuts I began to get bruises all
over my body and the school wouldn't do [ __ ] anything about me being attacked because
they said she's just an innocent girl after being physically abused for two weeks I decided to [ __
] slap her i know this wasn't the right call but she wouldn't listen to me when I asked her not to
hit me and after this she never did hit me again I didn't dwell on this incident for very long as the
only feeling I felt was anger for being cheated on twice now I attempted once again to rebuild
my old life I reconnected with my old friends I went on a beach trip with my good friends mamadou
gaijin logan to re-solidify our relationships and patch things up and I tried to figure out what
happiness was again because I wanted to be happy it didn't take long before she broke up with
ronald and once again was begging for me back that is when she began once again for the third
time to threaten her own life I fell for it partially this time deciding to be her friend but
not to date her but for the most part I learned over the last two years to not trust her and I
planned to not let the past repeat itself again she would then harass me for the entire summer and
once school started up again she stalked me almost every day at school she would spread rumors
about me and she would send friends of hers to also harass and stalk me I had multiple meetings
with the school staff the dean the principal the vice principal teachers and they decided that
it was best to keep us apart from one another but of course this never stopped her because she
just got other people to do it for her I could never focus on classes anymore I mean how could
I and my grades started to fall off to cope with my school environment in February of 2020 i began
watching anime again for the first time in nearly two years this was when i discovered angel beats
and I fell in love with anime again i decided I finally had enough and I blocked the majority of
those people online I then started dating someone that I had been talking to for a while now and
I tried to ignore what was happening at school this however would make things hit an all-time
peak which I guess led to her lying to her family and then they proceeded to threaten me on Facebook
and the school decided it would be best to get me out of there since meera I directly wasn't the
one who sent these messages and it didn't happen on campus they told me there was nothing they
could do in February of 2020 the school gave me the hope scholarship to transfer to online
classes after leaving school they continued to harass me online through other accounts and
on various sites like instagram my old YouTube channel and an app called tell on me i ended up
having to abandon my old YouTube channel and I had to make my Instagram account private I had
a temporary restraining order on her because of her family's threats online but it only lasted
for about 15 days i was told that if i wanted to make the restraining order official I'd have to
pay money for it like a good amount of it and I have to go to a court case where mirai was present
i could not bear the thought of seeing her again so i told them no after this i started
to go outside and hang out with friends as much as I possibly could to get my mind off
of things but this would not last for very long the nation began closing down very rapidly and
something I'm sure you all are aware of now a shutdown that was initially meant to be two
weeks lasted a lot longer than anyone anticipated with this virus I lost my one way of coping which
was the ability to go outside and hang out with my friends sure we could play games and such
online but it didn't feel the same not at all i felt so immensely alone and the online harassment
started to affect me a lot more the relationship i had too at that time which ended up being very
beneficial to me became harder and harder to keep together since we could never see each other anime
became my only way of coping with things I've been shows all the time and I would find myself
gaming most of the time too quarantine made me realize that I had a severe lack of purpose
and my depression began to grow immensely again for the first time in a while that was when on
one fateful day in June of 2020 I would stumble into the intro of a show called steins gate on
YouTube the opening called hacking to the gate was extremely catchy and the visuals were really
pretty so i was intrigued later that day on june 8th i purchased a funimation subscription and i
began watching the first episode of steins gate the first episode of steins gate captured
me immediately okabe's speech about god's final warning with the trippy visuals and the
ticking of a clock in the background were both an excellent hook and a bit prophetic as well the
mention of john titor is also an interesting one as this anime has a lot of inspiration from real
life acclaimed time travelers john titor was an actual person that went on forums in the early
days on the internet and he warned people about a future world war he also mentioned he came back
for the IBM 5100 and talked about some secret uses of it like a various amount of languages it could
use which all turned out to be true there's also mention of CERN, which is a real corporation that
does in fact make some very interesting things in this thing called the lhc everything in the rest
of the episode sets up the rest of the plot and the loop perfectly with kirisu saying Okabe tried
to talk to her and the time machine landing on the roof we also get introduced to Okabe's shenanigans
as hyolin kyoma i will never forget the moment that Okabe sent the text to daru and he traveled
from the beta world line to the alpha world line that scene when I first saw it shocked me and then
upon him later finding out that kristi was alive again I was invested I needed to find out how
Kurisu died why did everyone disappear what was with all the imagery on the screen why Okabe's
message was sent into a few separate messages I had so many questions, so I began casually
watching it the questions just began to rack up and rank up for me we watched as
Okabe teleports a banana back in time making it a gel nana and discovering that he can
send emails to himself back in time weirdly enough he's the only one that seems to remember things
we find out about there being an actual threat and that Okabe's role-playing of there being an
organization might actually be right they fiddle with time a lot which leads to rukiko becoming
an actual girl the ibm disappearing and the entirety of the city changing and one of the most
goosebumps-inducing scenes that is episode 9's ending despite all of my questions though I became
very quickly engaged in the character interactions Okabe is a character that at first I actually
really did not like I didn't like how he seemed to avoid telling people how he really felt or the
thoughts actually going on in his head I found him a bit annoying I thought his poses were really
stupid I didn't appreciate how he seemed to mask everything in his life with his healing kyoma
personality but then it clicked with me I was looking at a character a lot like me someone
that was afraid to tell the people around him majority of what was actually going on in their
head who had very high ambitions for himself in the world around him and Okabe's kyoma persona
was like my blaze walker persona I even gave stupid nicknames to people in places all the time
so when I was starting steins gate I hated myself and I realized I didn't like Okabe because I
didn't like me holy and kyoma is almost like a defense mechanism of okabase he uses it to mask
situations he would normally be uncomfortable in like in the first episode when he meets kurisu
once he recognizes her he dives into the persona and he gets flustered when she finds out
he isn't talking to anybody on his phone he grows even more flustered and runs away clearly
very panicked kyoma is Okabe's way of dealing with the outside world and his way of trying to mask
the kind-hearted person he is it's also his way of dealing with social anxiety as he uses kyoma
to deal with situations he would not normally know how to you could say that this persona
is an extreme social mask which is something unfortunately very common in today's society as
a lot of people are afraid to be who they are the blaze walker persona i had in high school
was always trying to make jokes and he always was smiling he tried his best to be someone he was
not so he would be accepted by the people around him but this led to him being closed off with his
feelings and keeping himself from getting close with other people he always wanted to be seen as
a jokester and somebody that was always happy this down the line led me to go a lot easier on him a
character I originally disliked I came to relate to more and more i enjoyed his sarcasm his witty
and meta conversations with the character cast and how absolutely nobody took kyoma seriously
watching each of these characters interact with each other was actually extremely refreshing
mayuri's kind-heartedness but secret intelligence kirisu's sarcasm and tsundere attitude daru's
otaku tendencies and his weird love for ferris malika's texting spam and atmosphere of mystery
ferris going along with Okabe's role playing and ruka kobe but he's a dude every interaction
felt so enjoyable to watch one of the main complaints I see for steins gate is to start being
too slow but to me this was not a complaint at all the start of steins gate was everything I needed
at that point in time as silly as it might sound my feelings of immense loneliness begin to
vanish as in the first 12 episodes of steins gate I felt so included with them I felt as if I was
a lab member and I was just hanging with some friends cracking jokes and enjoying myself that's
when it occurred to me that steins gates beginning was everything I felt robbed of due to miron with
mirai I lost friends and I felt like I had no one I felt like I lost all of my freedoms I
felt very alone that only worsened with time and with quarantine even though I had
friends around me I still never felt like I had people in my life steins gate made me
finally feel like I was getting back the things I had given up for her and I really liked it
on top of this despite being in the middle of a pandemic and knowing I couldn't see any of my
friends I started to not feel as alone anymore I fell so in love with the cast that I became
so excited to watch next episode to see them interact with each other but my love for them
is what made episode 12 all the much harder episode 12 is very different most of the episodes
for steins gate to this point started off very light-hearted but this one has an immediate
change in atmosphere it's really similar to episode 15 of Re:Zero in that way that there is
an immediate noticeable tone shift we start off with Okabe talking to mayuri in a desert wasteland
supposedly 70 million years in the past miri tells him that he came in here from a time machine and
says that they are just one of the many versions of themselves but you can also say that they
were the originals she tells Okabe that they are likely going to die and she says that their wills
will carry on to the versions of themselves in akihabara 70 million years in the future this is
a nightmare of his but it's caused likely because of the canonical ending for stein's gate zero in
zero Okabe travels back 70 million years via time machine into his past and disappears beyond the
event horizon he's searching for mayuri because she finished her mission and was lost in time due
to the time machine's low fuel he manages to find her but he cannot travel forward in time due to
impossibly overlapping or erasing the steins gate world line version of himself that is what leads
to him dying and steins gate shows us many times that mayuri remembers things through nightmares
very often like her deaths and other loops this is likely why this was shown to Okabe in a
nightmare but of course this is just speculation due to okabe's dream he's extremely hesitant to
test out their now finished time lead machine which is a device that is meant to send back
memories in time he surprises everyone when he decides he wants to go public with their findings
instead and it's expressed later on how relieved everyone is by his decision this is the first
episode kurisu and Okabe have a long talk about things and the first time Okabe expresses genuine
wholesome appreciation for her they come back and party a little bit later and there is some eerie
foreshadowing with the hourglass stopping mary tells Okabe that with all these new lab members
maybe she doesn't need to be around anymore but before he can respond all of the trains in town
shut down due to a bomb threat suzuha basically confirms to the entire audience that she's from
the future as she panics upon finding out the lab is connected directly with CERN and she goes
to suggest that they all need to leave but since she's from the future she's aware of world line
convergence so she knows that the events that she play out next will always play out that way
she then books it in an ominous soundtrack with Okabe's heartbeat overlapping begins to play as
he finds the stopped hourglass and then mayuri's watch stops this line would become infamous in
the series and it's upon her saying this okabe realizes something horrible is about to happen the
place isn't raided by CERN's rounders mauika was a plug from CERN this entire time molika says the
cern will take daru okabe and kirisu but deems mayuri unnecessary and a scene that made my heart
completely stop as Okabe begs for mauikawa to stop she shoots mayuri and the head this moment this
one moment changed everything an anime that was originally a slice of life with sci-fi elements
going on and hints of mystery in the background exploded in one single scene because of
my extreme attachment to the characters there was no way I could stop watching right there
I proceeded to pull my first anime all nighter and I spent that night watching
every single episode left of the show there's a very famous quote that you've probably
heard a million times by now which is insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting
different results for the next few episodes we as an audience would watch Okabe begin to break
I watched Okabe tried over and over again to save mayuri but he couldn't save her whether it be due
to gunshots or being accidentally pushed in front of a train or anything she always always died
watching Okabe's mental crumble before my eyes as he attempted to save his childhood friend really
made me reflect on my feudal attempts to try and save some of my friends in the past and it was at
this moment I became a massive supporter of Okabe I couldn't succeed in doing what we both
tried to do so I wanted with all my heart to see him succeed I wanted Okabe to win
I wanted nothing more than to see him save mayuri he would try over and over again to save
her slowly melting into the definition of insanity he tried over and over and over but each time
it resulted in failure a man that hid inside a persona that was so strong and so ambitious
became who he really was as okabe rintero began to show his true colors he was desperate
to save her willing to do anything actually there were multiple occasions where after his attempts
he would just break down in tears Okabe began to severely break he was shown a glimmer of hope
through suzuha as she revealed she is john titor and they helped her fix her time machine this is
when daru who was someone usually seen as a dick and a pervert began to shine as a character
we got to see daru as a very caring friend willing to help those around him as much as he
could although there were many complaints even upon finding out that suzuha was his daughter he
kept us cool daru is a character that gets a lot of [ __ ] and people say he doesn't change at all
but we see how good of a guy daru is here and how much of a good guy daru will always become in any
timeline since he always ends up having suzuha but even after finishing souza has time machine world
line convergence kicks in and souza huff fails her mission after finally thinking there was a way out
the scene of her apologizing is heartbreaking you feel with Okabe in this moment that no matter how
many times he tries or what he does maybe he is always destined to fail Okabe falls more and is
near giving up when it comes to the realization that the only way he can save mayuri is by
undoing past emails that led him to this point and by making sacrifices in a way that is
so painfully human he begins to neglect those around him as he tries to run towards his goal of
saving mayuri he sacrifices a reality that ferris is happy in or her dad lives he sacrifices
the reality that molycog were closer to fb by bringing the ibm to him finally getting to
please the only important person to her and he sacrifices a reality where ruka finally became a
girl something to remove his insecurities and to finally feel he can accept who he is and one where
he also can pursue his feelings for Okabe. Okabe even begins to neglect mayuri ironically enough
since he is so focused on saving her he doesn't spend time with her anymore it's at this point
that he realizes to go back to the beta world line where mary will live he needs to undo his
female that brought him to the alpha world line this means in order for mayuri to live he's going
to have to go back to a world where kurisu dies Kurisu is a character Okabe ended up growing
extremely close to since he came to the alpha world line no matter how many times Okabe did
a time leap he would always be able to rely and confide in Kurisu she was the first person
Okabe was able to talk to about anything and it was with her he was clearly the most
comfortable they even shared a lot in common and she made his signature pose for him it's
very obvious that he was growing feelings for her and she probably felt the same way teresu is
a character that helped me realize that i don't think i had ever really felt comfortable in a
relationship before or at least as happy as i could be as i never felt i could openly talk with
someone about anything kaori was the closest i had gotten but i had not gotten all the way there
yet again at this moment i was currently in a relationship that I got into after blocking Mirai
everywhere but I realized that this relationship was not what I wanted I wanted someone that
would be able to help me through my mistakes and someone who would always be able to welcome
me with open arms a person that I could talk to about everything with and one that would share my
interest and make goofy poses with me I realized that I wanted someone like Makise Kurisu in my
life and I ended that relationship I had been and up in that point that person and I are still
very good friends to this day thankfully however i still have not found my Kurisu i know she's out
there somewhere though anyway as the date for mayuri's death grew closer Okabe realizes that now
he had to decide who would die Kirisu or mayuri kirisu helps them make the decision and they share
one of the most heartbreaking scenes i have ever seen as they express their love for each other
and say their goodbyes I spent the entirety of the scene just bawling my eyes out literally just
crying nonstop the voice acting here was on point the quotes that came out are extremely bittersweet
it is just a very depressing scene after this Okabe begins his travel back to the beta world
line as kurisu comes bursting in running to tell Okabe that she loves him but before she can say it
he goes back to the beta world line with a shaky voice he announces his victory and says goodbye
to the phone microwave and the ibm Okabe managed to win and to save mayuri but at the cost of
many people's happiness and his own happiness his mission had come to a close i was both very
happy for him but also really sad because who knew if he would ever truly be happy again I
paused as the credits started to roll I took a break from watching for a little bit because after
episode 22, I really was crying my eyes out I came back a little later though to watch through the
credits of episode 22 and to my surprise, Suzuha comes back and asks Okabe to stop World War III. this audibly made me go What the [ __ ] ?! seeing as we only had 2 episodes left. But regardless, I was on board, and I was ready to keep watching. *Static noise* *Static noise* *Static noise* Suzuha needs Okabe to save the future from
CERN and to avoid making World War III happen but to do this Okabe needs to use a time machine
again he says that out of respect for Kurisu and other sacrifices he will not use a time machine
but then Suzuka tells him that to stop World War III he needs to go back in time to save Kirisu once
they do this they will go to a world free of world line convergence known as steins gate Okabe
decides to go back in time but because he wants to save Kirisu. The incredible irony of this, though,
is that he is the one that stabs Kirisu. His first time around, he doesn't save her. Suzuha tries to
tell Okabe to keep going, but he tells her that she doesn't know just how many times he's failed Okabe
says he knew it would end this way and that he's tired these lines from him resonated with me to
my core over the last four years all I had felt like I had done was fail. I failed my friends and the people around me I failed Kaori and school and my parents I felt like all I had done was fail. That's why when Mayuri slaps him, it was a wake-up call to me too. He tells Okabe that he isn't the
type of person to give up halfway through and that he never gives up, period. He had helped her through a lot in her life so she didn't want to see him give up now. Mayuri telling this to Okabe
is when I came to the massive realization how important the friends I had were to me they were
always there for me and they always knew that I wouldn't give up one of my friends made a joke to
me in high school he told me I haven't subscribed to your channel but I have subscribed to your
inspiration just like Okabe I was also known for not giving up it was at this moment that any
remaining piece of loneliness I had felt inside of me washed away and I felt incredibly loved. Mayuri helped me realize just how much my friends truly cared about me and that they had always
been there for me no matter how much I [ __ ] up then Okabe got a message from his future self he
told himself he could save Kirisu by deceiving the world and this motivated him to try again oddly
enough this gave me motivation in a weird sense I could look back at my past self so easily through
my old YouTube videos and I could feel how sad I was in a lot of those videos it's really easy to
notice where there were distinguishable changes in my attitude but me from back then wanted me
to succeed at YouTube and wanted me to be happy he wouldn't want me to still be thinking about
past events and to be sad in a way I used my past self to deceive my current self Okabe helped me
learn to be who the past me always wanted me to be Okabe then travels back in time and this time
everything that is set up and established throughout the entire show is used Okabe with full
confidence does everything he needs to such as getting the medal upa telling Kirisu he is there
to save her and setting up a way for the time travel files to be burnt up however he finds out
that the fake blood and the lightsaber is dry up so he realizes he'll need to use his blood he has
Kirisu's father stab him he then tases Kirisu and rips open his stomach to make more blood while
making the necessary scream that he heard in the first episode with this Okabe travels back
to the future into the steins gate world line Okabe won Okabe gives out loud member badges to
everyone and he has an unexpected reunion with Kirisu even though the world line is different
she still remembers Okabe because of what they shared for one another Steins;Gate was an anime
that came into my life randomly and in the most unexpected way possible the cast instantly
made me feel at home giving me everything that I thought I had lost because of Mirai
the show then proceeded to redefine my life and make me realize so many things in even more
unexpected ways Okabe has made me learn a lot about myself I'm not some person that needs to
hold a persona and run from things in life I'm a human being i shouldn't hold things in all the
time and appear as someone that is just ambitious just like Okabe I came to appreciate myself and
how human I am and I've started to open up more about things with other people I'm not very good
at it yet but I'm way better than I was before seeing steins gate Okabe also has become what I
want to be and that is someone who always will push forward with sheer determination I want to be
able to push through anything like he can Kirisu is a character that left a big impact on me that
was really needed after what happened with Kaori Emma and Mirai she helped me realize exactly what
I need in a partner someone that is compassionate and who will always support me no matter how much
I mess up they will always be there for me with open arms I need someone who will genuinely care
about me and love me unconditionally no matter what events transpire in time Mayuri and the
other lab members made me realize how many amazing people I have in my life when things are going
rough in life and you feel like you're living the same thing over and over again and you feel
like you've failed a dozen times it's so easy to lose sight of things and to only focus on one wish
of yours all it takes is one metaphorical slap to the face to bring you back to reality and realize
you have people in your life that will never give up on you no one is ever truly alone they only
think that they are no matter what world life you are on there will always be someone there for
you just like how Okabe spoke to his past self to save karisu my past self spoke to the present me
in ways I can't exactly do justice explaining I used to dwell on the past sometimes even living
in it I thought about things I did mistakes I made and failures caught sailing it was definitely
not healthy. Okabe helped me realize that the past should not be messed with, which means I should
take what I learned from it and I should move on I should not live in the past the old me went
through a lot especially all the things with mirai but just like Kurisu I would not change any
of what happened because those are my memories they made me what I am today I have forgiven
myself for many of those actions in the past some things I still think about often like Kaori
but I do my best to not make it my entire world I've taken what has happened and I've learned
what i need for the betterment of my life for my old self I will move forward and become the best
me I can become because for a while I felt very lost and like I didn't know what I was doing now
I think I know what I'm doing I could go on and on gushing about the direction the cinematography
the score anything and everything I truly love everything about Steins;Gate with all of my heart. It
was thanks to the show that I decided to reignite my passions and to chase my dreams again shortly
after watching it I began writing scripts for videos and watching lots of anime to talk about
it would be a few months but I would gain the confidence to post my first new video and one that
I was truly happy about making in years since then a community has appeared before me of currently 5000 people that I could not be more thankful for I have no idea what I did to deserve the success
but I could not be more grateful that it's here I don't know what exactly the future holds for me
at all in all honesty but for the first time in a very long time I'm excited for tomorrow as each
day passes I think I've made it to the right world line and although I don't think I know exactly
what happiness is yet I think I'm on the right path to my achievement point my steinscape thank
you for watching and thank you guys so much for 5000 subscribers El Psy Congroo I'd like to give a
special thank you to my patrons Matt and Fygar for helping me review this script and for supporting
me you guys mean a lot to me thank you so much Thank you.
