"HOW Means WHY In Glasgow!" Kevin Bridges On Glasgow Negotiation Tactics | Universal Comedy

i was on a bus up hill about six months ago and a guy got on he put his money in the bus driver said how much is that and the guy said it's one pound seventy how in glasgow how means why i don't know why that is you don't say one pound seventy why you say one pound seventy how you don't ponder why you demand how he said 1.78 how and the driver said well it's one pound 85 for a single and the guy said it was one pound 70 yesterday yeah [ __ ] dick classic negotiation tactics where the driver held his nail and he said well it's 1.85 today you're [ __ ] dead it's good on public transport you see a battle of the wets look at this and the guy just lost it he said one pound 85. i don't want to buy the [ __ ] boss it's doing that sort of appealing for witnesses and it goes on and the guy starts punching the perspect to get to the driver and over years i've taken the bus i have familiarized myself with the on-board safety instructions when a guy kicks off for a driver don't even [ __ ] look just tom look at the window stare at the chewing gum and go to a happy place have a bit of me time i wonder how many fish fingers i've got in the freezer i'm pretty sure i've seen number three what i need to stop eating odd numbers or fish fingers that was inevitable there was going to be three left now what the [ __ ] am i gonna do with three fish fangirls that's not a lunch or a tea that's just no man's land i'm gonna have to have one of their tuesday night tunnels when you put a garment steak and then just chuck the three fish fingers on as well something in combo wherever you go and your happy place you start to find that you get to know yourself i looked at the window and there was a stationary shop i never knew i liked stationery until that minute look now that's a [ __ ] great deal on rubbles when was the last time i robbed something i might go in they'll buy their rubbles i mean by a pencil sharpener a nice new pad nice sharp pen so write my name and then just [ __ ] rub it by the time i'd come back in for a landing this situation had been resolved a good samaritan had put the extra money in just to get the bus moving and the guy was on he'd made it everybody's bracing themselves what was he going to say it's quite a quiet bus the guy's on and it was then i i realized that i was i was sat in the seats that are designed for conversation other seats that face in opposite directions for people looking for stimulating debate with like-minded folk on the world's big issues speaker's corner that's what i was saying and the guy he came in and sat right opposite me he never recognized me oblivious to the fact he was sitting opposite kvn never [ __ ] and the bus the boss is pulling away he's not going to a happy place he's looking at that stationary shot i might go down by a pen so sharpen it and stab him in here a [ __ ] wank up the bus has gone on and he started talking to me he said where are you going mate and i said i'm just going to meet my mate at the cinema and he said i haven't been in the cinema i've nobody in the cinema in [ __ ] ages right and i said ah all right if you're struggling for small talk you need to keep it going you don't want to get hanging i've been ignorant i just said all right and he said do you ever see that movie social network that's what he asked me and i said oh the movie about facebook and he said correct as if you survived that [ __ ] round he said that mark zuckerberg he's worth billions mate and i said oh i can imagine and he said how and i said well he's the owner of facebook and he said how does that make money make it's [ __ ] free when you don't laugh the on-board safety instructions tell you in order to avoid the puncture long keep your face firmly keep your face firmly on screen saver mode just he said if i was in charge of facebook mate i'd be saying [ __ ] quid a goal [Music] and it gave me a small sense of hometown pride where i realized the guy was serious small sense of hometown pride that there must be very few places in the world where mark zuckerberg would be awful financial advice from a guy who was 15 pen shot for a single [ __ ] part you

Channel: Universal Comedy

Views: 1,371,445

Rating: 4.9333563 out of 5

Keywords: Comedy, Universal Comedy, Universal, Stand Up, Stand Up Comedy, Comedian, Stand Up Comedian, kevin bridges glasgow, glasgow kiss, glasgow accent, glasgow, kevin bridges how means why, kevin bridges bus stop, kevin bridges full show, kevin bridges donald trump, kevin bridges graham norton, kevin bridges would i lie to you, kevin bridges horse, kevin bridges jesus, kevin bridges greece, kevin bridges stand up, kevin bridges prophetic

Id: wr0bj4lI0qk

Length: 6min 3sec (363 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 10 2021