Transcriber: Theresa Ranft
Reviewer: Rhonda Jacobs [Rebirth] Dax Justin: This isn't just
a normal picture of random clouds. To me, this is what I saw
when I woke up on my back, looking straight up. And when I sat up, I didn't have my shirt, I didn't have my cell phone, wallet, keys. When I looked down,
I didn't have my shoes. My toes were ripped through my socks. And in that moment,
I had lost the vitality of life, and I was dead to myself. Now, how did I get to the place I was at? The night before, I ended up at this place called a crack house. I didn't make any conscious
decisions to get there. It was a sequence of bad decisions. And I remember sitting
in the corner of this sofa, and I looked out
into this dark, empty room - not empty with people, empty in soul. Windows were boarded up. And I remember looking out,
and a guy beside me was tweaking out. I don't know if you've ever around
someone doing that, but it's freaky. At that moment, I realized that I was
in the darkest corner of the universe, and I felt that. I felt like I was never going
to escape that place. It was also because a guy was standing
by the door with a Rambo-sized knife, blocking the doorway so we couldn't leave because he thought there was
law enforcement around. If there was law enforcement, I would have been
on the losing end of a gun battle. So at one point, they took me
into this back room, and they lifted up the mattress, and for the first time in my life,
I saw machine guns. Not only that but we were surrounded by
the most dangerous chemicals known to man. So, I had to escape, and I waited until everyone
went into that back room, and I took my opportunity,
and I bolt out the front door. Now, when I did that,
I was obviously doing my escape, but the problem with everything is I ran until I collapsed. It wasn't just a physical collapse, it was like a collapse
of all of your life and soul. So, that day, I ended up at the hospital. The doctors said
I was on a cocktail of drugs. I don't remember doing them,
but I accept that I did do them. My mom, my close friends, even friends who I have from
the Calgary Police Service were there. And they were there
to nurse me back to life. And in that moment, I had a choice, and I chose life. I actually didn't know
where I was the night before. It took until about 5 p.m. the next day
for me to remember what happened. I didn't know if my friends
were dead or alive. I had a very good buddy with me
that ended up in that place. I didn't know where he was. I didn't know if he got
his chance to get out. And now, with perspective, it didn't matter if he was dead or alive because we were both dead and alive. That's how we were living
without knowing it. So I chose life, and I decided to understand
why and how I got to that place. I was a very different type of person. I was super creative. I liked to go
hard into things when I love stuff. So when I heard about
the concept of addiction, I was like, "I'm not that.
There's no way I'm an addict. An addict is those guys that night." Well, I got news for all of you: we're all addicts, we're all addicts to a certain
extent with something. Even people who rush to Starbucks
first thing in the morning - I love you guys,
but you're all addicts, right? (Laughter) Once I took months
to understand this idea of addiction, I understood very fast
that it's misunderstood. And to be honest, the common idea
out there right now is that the opposite
of addiction is sobriety. So I did that. I spent like 18
or 20 months or something. I stopped counting because it was like
I discovered something else. And I discovered that the true opposite
of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection. Not connection to our devices,
not just connection with human spirit, but connection to every spirit, everything that's alive. So, this one day, I woke up, and I was drawn and compelled to nature. I took my truck out
and got lost in the woods. The sun hit the snow differently that day. I found dream catchers and teepees,
and my shoes broke apart, and it was like a big cleansing
type of thing that happened. When that happened,
I called my buddies in Calgary, and I was like, "Hey, man! Do you guys know
about nature? Like, I feel it. I feel connected to something out here." (Laughter) I was just not even
like out to Bragg Creek yet. I had never explored these areas, right? (Laughter) Serious. And, I called three people that day,
the closest people in my life. I told them what I felt,
and they all called me one thing, they called me crazy. So after that, there's this big disconnect
between me and, like, city lifestyle. What actually happened that day is that I was drawn to pursue the wild, and I relentlessly pursued it,
without even thinking about it. I left my 9 to 5, went past
Bragg Creek every day, and I'm still going further every day. And so when I was compelled
to go into nature, I felt alive. It was the most purest thing
I had ever, ever felt. And not only that,
I kind of felt like a kid again. Like I was running around
in the woods acting crazy, like I wore war paint and stuff too; I got really into it. (Laughter) It was like I was a child again,
discovering childhood again, but this time it was different,
it wasn't childhood, it was wildhood. And that moment changed my life. So, I started doing things
that I had never done before, like getting on a canoe. One of the most meditative experiences
was being in a canoe or a kayak, and I never knew that about myself, which means that I didn't really
even know my true self at all. I was a product of what I thought
I was supposed to be doing. So I pushed further, and I was told not to go to the ice cave
because it wasn't accessible. And while I don't like
not listening to people, I pushed on anyways. I took a calculated risk, and I saw the first-ever ice cave
that I've ever seen. And now that ice cave
actually isn't there. It was the Athabasca Ice Cave
at the toe of the glacier, and it collapsed in October. So I pushed on, I overcame my fear, and I had an opportunity
to see something like this. So at this point, I'm still addicted, and I'm addicted to nature. And that whole experience
has shaped me, changed my life, and I no longer need
to escape or run away. I'm running towards a life of discovery. [Action, Courage,
Celebrate Relentlessness.] So over the last couple of years, there are a few things
that stand out in my mind as to how you can slay your addictions with nature. The first one is action. I've watched "The Secret."
Have you guys seen "The Secret"? Project positive; set intentions. That's all true. But without action, you're not going to wake up
being any different. It's just your thoughts
that are changing, not your behavior. So I took action to change my life. I don't know what compelled me
to go into nature that first day, but I followed it, and I went after it. The second thing is courage. Did you know that we're all
courageous in this room? If you don't think you are it's because you've been taught
that you haven't been. Just like we're all absolutely creative. Maybe if I asked if you're creative, you'd tell me you're type A or something or type whatever. You're not type whatever,
you're type yourself. I promise that you have
creative expression to give and to share. And the same with courage. Courage is a little bit different. You have to push past your boundaries and get out of that comfort zone
we've been taught to hang out in. Once you push past that,
you'll find your courage. The last thing is you need
to start celebrating relentlessness. Don't just go half-assed with it. Take it to the very, very limit, and only then can you start
discovering your true self. So, a couple of years later, here's where I am. This time I'm in the clouds. I'm looking down instead of looking up. So you know what the best part
of all this stuff is? It's knowing that you have the courage,
the grit, and the resiliency, whether you know it or not, to take charge. My real goal from this talk is to tell you that you don't have
to wait for your rock bottom. My rock bottom was looking up at clouds. Yours doesn't have to be that,
no matter what your addiction is. You have the power to change your life, other people's lives, and you have the power
to discover your true self, destroy what destroys you. Thank you. (Applause)
