Addiction – don’t let the bear catch you | Steve Gill | TEDxStanleyPark

[Music] [Applause] addiction affects millions and exists globally in many forms from Mali self-destructive to severely detrimental to oneself your loved ones and to society there is a recognizable pattern to the spiral of addiction and through simple yet powerful actions weaken and addiction I recovered from addiction and today I'm an addictions counselor and when I think of my own journey and where I ended up and where it all started I remember being six years old growing up in a small town outside of Vancouver I'm with my sister in ena and we're in our parents kitchen I smell fresh-baked cookies Nina go stand over there if you see mom coming sneeze achoo with Nina in place I'm climbing on top of the kitchen counter I'm opening the cupboard there it is the cookie jar I grabbed the cookies they smell so delicious I'm thinking yes success I got away with it that adrenaline rush is exactly what people feel as they're moving into addiction also a couple other things to remember you always have a choice Nina and I we stole those cookies together however she didn't spiral to self-destruction like I did I chose another path couple other things to know the early stages of addiction can start off feeling completely harmless taking a few cookies seems harmless right can be the same for you for you maybe can't stop checking your phone to seeing who's messaging you a new update on Facebook a new like on Instagram even has I'm actually saying that some of you are checking your phones I can see harmless till you can't help yourself even when you're driving for you maybe you're shopping it to your credit card is maxed out you can't focus at work because they're looking for the next great online deal harmless until you're drowning in debt that rush of stealing few cookies escalated for me when I turn to alcohol growing up I was often sick with asthma allergies and I spoke with this stutter I always felt that I didn't fit in or belong that I was on the outside and in grade 9 I started drinking alcohol and alcohol became the solution and finally I felt like I was a part of something that I belonged and I would drink during lunchtime one particular lunchtime sticks out for me I was buzzed walking into a French class but this time it was different because I was full of courage I felt like the man because I was going to speak to the prettiest girl in school so I took a seat behind her and as I sat down the room started to spin what happened next was not part of the plan projectile vomit all over her hair needless to say we never ended up dating and I can I can laugh at that now you know but looking back it was my guilty secret you know and my guilt turned to shame when the whole school found out I didn't realize to understand it then that that really was my downward spiral into addiction for you you may feel guilty for a harmless little secret and then it turns it to shame when you begin to hurt others you may feel guilty for looking at pornography and then shame when your partner finds out and you lose trust and connection in your relationship you may feel guilty for losing 100 bucks playing blackjack or poker and then shame when your family learns you gambled away the mortgage payment the point is if you don't stop self-destructive behaviors that shame leads to an identity shift you become an addict my secret was out I felt that shame I didn't stop I brought my family into my pain my shame led me to experiment with harder drugs to lie rob stealing cheap even from my own loved ones and over time my consequences turned to losses leading to low self-esteem and low self-worth I believed I was a loser a failure that I wasn't going to amount to anything I believe that was an addict and that was all I was ever going to be those were my limiting beliefs my addiction robbed me of having any purpose in life that is the power of addiction in a simple definition addiction is a lack of meaning in one's life a distraction from your life's purpose and just like you have a choice to spiral downward you can choose recovery at 21 I wasn't addict my parents gave me an ultimatum treatment remove out I chose treatment I was ashamed confused and really scared and that's when I met this older Italian fella and he had this well-groomed goatee they spoke with this heavy accent and one morning he came into the classroom and he shared his own story that in his own addiction he hired someone to kill his brother his words hit me they moved me he was my first counselor and he did two big things for me he taught me daily practices to maintain my recovery which I'll share with you in a moment anyhow he also helped me connect to my life's purpose years later I went to school and I earned my counseling diploma and I took a course on addictions and in that addictions course I finished with ninety nine and a half percent and well of course I did right I had some personal experience like hands-on experience I started working at a treatment center where I experienced many successes in failures as well you see it wasn't quite satisfied because the success rate for someone to achieve one year of recovery is less than two percent in two years into my counseling career I hid a dark period I was working with for clients that I just couldn't move forward one of them my best friend from high school Jay and he eventually died of alcoholism and I remember his his mom calling me one night crying sobbing I'll never forget her words my son is dead and why didn't Jay get it I felt her pain and that night I went to sleep just rocking my mind asking myself angry why didn't she get it and then how did I get it and the next morning I awoke and I was in that you know that dream state between sleep and awake and I had this vision of this bear biting my ankle and I was sliding full of fear panic running I was looking ahead in the distance and emerging from the fog was a building it was my counseling school and I woke bright-eyed with the vision a realization that changed my life I've been sharing that dream in vision ever since I'm here to share with all of you today I honor I honor my friend Jay he has guided me to help others to end their suffering the bear vision changed me it changed how I worked with others in less than one year with less than one year after this vision I was achieving a higher level of success with my clients picture this Here I am a recovering addict who's now helping others to end their addiction in the months all of this I reached one of my most proudest moments the city of abbotsford presented me me with a Hero Award for my work in addictions that vision had a bear at my ankle the bear represents addiction and if you slow down or stop the bear will kill you it killed my friend Jay in my dream envision conveyed the importance of purpose my counseling school represented a destination my motivation for recovery and I realized one thing that I would continue failing my clients unless I helped them connect to their motivation for recovery let me repeat that I realized that it would continue failing my clients unless I help them connect to their motivation for recovery take Lisa she's 16 years old she wants to get her driver's license that's her motivation to stay off drugs another client Jon he wants to stay sober to walk his daughter down the aisle I always teach my clients to look ahead because over time their motivation will change because whatever that thing that's inside of you that drives you that moves you your passion for recovery it might be different today than tomorrow another client cam he was an alcoholic divorced he hadn't seen his son in years his family gave up on him he couldn't stay sober more than two days I told cam you don't have to suffer anymore he wanted his family back he had purpose these are the three steps that cam and others have taken simple yet powerful and practice together first connect to a purpose recently I spoke at a treatment center and I asked how many of you came here for recovery and how many you achieved that recovery today they all put up their hands for both these questions I said okay great if you came for recovery and you already achieved that recovery today then why you still here because getting recovery is easy the question is why do you want to stay in recovery discover your purpose for recovery by asking the right questions what is your addiction costing you be very specific about the pain also what pleasure will you obtain in your recovery get very clear about your destination and your purpose for recovery so you can be pulled a daily motivation to something greater than your addiction second engage in daily practices gratitude upon awakening embody this feeling of gratitude for another day of recovery and move your body exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day which will increase your heart rate a brisk walk a short run even the yoga class will release endorphins and improve your well-being service find a way every day to give back in some capacity one of my mentors Tony Robbins he says that living is giving give back in third create a support system build your sense of community and connection attend recovery meetings and connect with mentors I've stayed in touch with cam over the years he's he's a loving husband he's got his family back full-time career he coaches his son's hockey team and he's here today when it gets better this September he'll be celebrating ten years of sobriety I won't stop you know if you're moving in it to a downward spiral stop because today you can take control of your life remember you always have a choice I ask each of you to apply a share these three simple steps to anyone who is suffering in your life because together across the globe we can stop addiction and we can end the suffering why because recovery starts right here right now [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 591,715

Rating: 4.8874631 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Canada, Life, Achievement, Big problems, Cause, Choice, Depression, Drugs, Future, Global issues, Goal-setting, Impact, Positive Thinking, Self improvement

Id: LW4Ca-3pHfo

Length: 17min 9sec (1029 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 05 2017