How Does She Want You to Thrust During Sex? (Depth, Speed & Rhythm)

men the way that you thrust has a great deal of influence over not just how good sex is for your partner but also how quickly you will find yourself finishing hi i'm caitlin v i am a sex and relationship coach and i give advice to men who want to last longer in bed both here and on my instagram at caitlyn victorious x i'm here today to talk about six different thrusting techniques that you can utilize to help you last longer in bed and have your partner experience increased pleasure and i'm going to present each of these to you as a either or so we're going to put them all on a spectrum and then you can choose where you are going to fall upon that spectrum at any given moment depending on the outcome that you're trying to create during sex you want her to orgasm faster you want to delay your orgasm i'll let you know where on the spectrum you should fall and when okay let's dive on in number one thrusting technique that i want to talk about is the difference between back and forth and in and out a lot of the times when we think about sex we think about it in out pardon me i have to do it in out because that's what we've been taught that's how men typically think sex feels good and that's a lot of what you might be doing that increases the odds that you're ejaculating more quickly than you want to so instead of in out what about a back and forth motion this motion of back and forth or grinding while maintaining the same depth of penetration is often preferred by female partners and people that have vulvas and g-spots and clitorises because it actually can feel a lot better and more pleasant than a back and forth motion it causes less friction it allows us to squeeze using our pelvic floor muscles in order to increase stimulation and get us closer to orgasm and it tends not to move a person who has a penis closer to orgasm to have that kind of stimulation back and forth instead of that in and out which is very frictiony and uh generally causes a lot more skin sensation on the penis technique number two is shallow versus deep thrusting the majority of the nerve endings for the vagina are located actually within the first couple inches and the g-spot is usually no more than two and a half inches inside and to the front of the vagina this means that if you are really going to pleasure a woman and bring her to orgasm through penetration you actually do need to hang out in the first couple inches of the vagina at least until she's had a couple orgasms in which case deep thrusting will help to hit her anterior fornix and posterior fornix or the a and p spot the other p spot not the prostate p spot but if you have one of those go check out the video i made about that before you get to deep thrusting though shallow thrusts can be a really great way to help her to get to orgasm and because the full length of your penis isn't being stimulated it can feel good to you without causing you to go over the edge and erupt too soon i was a volcano it was like a volcano mixed with the sound of a t-rex next let's talk about the distinction between slow versus fast thrusting now chances are good if you are watching this you have also watched porn and porn tends to be about 80 to 90 of fast thrusting very fast actually like just it's almost mesmerizing that is unnecessary for average person sex uh completely unnecessary and if i was to be the person who was on the receiving end of that i would just straight tell you to stop because actually fast studying does not feel that good compared to slow grinding or thrusting in and out slow purposeful thoughtful sensual not saying that fast doesn't have a time and place it absolutely does when she's very close to orgasming when you are very close to orgasming that's when you get in there and start moving quickly but there is no need actually i would advise you entirely against moving very quickly until it's time to make old faces actually i do do that and then i one time saw it on camera and now i try not to what's next number four this one's gonna be a little bit tricky but this might be the most important of all of them clenched versus relaxed thrusting now gentlemen i am here to guarantee you based off of my many years of working with you that you are clenching a whole bunch of muscles that do not need to be clenched while you are thrusting chances are good that you are holding tension in your glutes maybe even in your abs and most definitely in your pelvic floor that you do not need to be holding in order to stay erect or to stay inserted or to make penetration feel good the next time that you are penetrating or even the next time that you're masturbating watch where you clench so perfect example is a guy who's on top in classic missionary position and he's clenching his glutes and his pelvic floor as he thrusts in and out of his partner now compare him to a guy that has a relatively relaxed stance he's not super clenching his glutes he's not super clenching his pelvic floor he's still achieving maximum penetration remember that you squeezing your glutes as hard as you can has no effect on whether or not you have an erection that guy the one that's relaxed the second one in our example he's gonna last longer a hundred percent of the time because the more relaxed that you are on your body the less tension you have in your body the less likely you are to climax too soon this might be a good time for me to remind you that i actually made a whole master class on this exact subject how to last longer in bed and in it i give you a specific series of exercises that will help you to figure out where you're clenching during sex and during masturbation even if you don't have a partner you can absolutely figure this out so that the next time that you have sex you can last as long as you want this is probably the most crucial piece almost all other coaches miss this and almost all people trying to end their premature ejaculation don't manage to fix this one thing and if you could fix this is one thing you can make a ton of headway into controlling your ejaculation the link is in the description below and number five ongoing versus with breaks so this is not so much a thrusting technique as maybe like a style or a method of thrusting but do you go constantly or do you take breaks do you thrust for a little bit and then switch positions do you thrust and then change up your technique and start grinding you thrust fast and then you grind slowly you switch and get into doggy style and then when you notice that you're kind of getting into a rhythm moving a little bit closer to your edge or almost ejaculating you stop you take a break a lot of guys don't do this because they're terrified of losing their erection but if you leave enough time for sex that you can lose your erection and then have enough time to get it back which could be you know 10 to 15 minutes it's like not the end of the world but i think a lot of guys are so fearful that if they lose their erection sex is going to be over their partner is going to be disappointed she's going to not want to have sex anymore or walk away or something like that kind of unlikely as long as you're a good lover you're communicating to her you're staying present with her during that time you're going down on her you're making out with her most women don't mind taking a break from sex unless they don't want to be having sex to begin with in which case they probably do want you to get over with as quickly as possible so why do you even care to change the thrusting thing we got to talk about why it is that she doesn't want you to last longer to begin with but i digress so taking breaks and changing up the pattern regularly will help you from getting mesmerized because you're like that tap tap tap tap that mesmerizing and it's mesmerizing for her and it may actually cause her to start zoning out and not feeling as much because of the percussive regular nature of the thrust if you're not changing it up so change it up take breaks don't be worried about losing your erection if for some reason it goes away it can always come back it's very unlikely that that's going to be your very last direction that you ever have and if so none of the rest of this matters anyway so still all good and here we go number six is hard versus gentle thrusting again porn causes a lot of men to have the misconception that women are looking for very hard thrusting and again sometimes that is what's wanted especially if she's like right on the edge of having a deep vaginal or cervical orgasm she might encourage you to go very hard and hit her as deep as possible and by the way when i say hard i mean like pushing into her it's not got anything to do with like how frequently you're doing it and it doesn't have as much to do with like just deep in general because you could be thrusting deep but staying deep so you're only moving out in and out in and out and out i'm talking about pull back and go in hard and far to the back there's another joke there but it's not present so if it comes up i'll share it yeah hard thrusts they can feel good they certainly feel good if i'm close to having a very deep orgasm that that could be a desirable thing but there's no reason to start there and there's no reason to visit there too often most women need like 20 to 30 minutes of being aroused and being stimulated before they even reach orgasm and even in that case she may not be so turned on that deep deep penetrative thrusting that's very hard actually feels good for her this is one of the most common pieces of bad advice that i see given by my male colleagues on the internet you know a lot of them aren't married they haven't been in a long-term relationship with a woman so if you're having sex with a woman for the first time and she's really into it this like hard thrusting may work if you've been dating someone for a year having a quickie in a bathroom somewhere this technique may work but if you've been with your partner or maybe she's had children maybe you've been married for 20 or 30 years at this point you only really need to use that hard thrusting to get her over the edge or to bring yourself over to having an orgasm otherwise gentle thrusting feels probably better for her and it will prevent you from being over stimulated too much too fast and going over the edge now all of these techniques require you to have intimate knowledge of where your edge is and if you're not familiar with where your point of no return your point of ejaculatory inevitability is then i 10 out of 10 recommend that you check out my course come when you want it is designed to help you step by step fix your premature ejaculation it's 98 percent effective at ending premature ejaculation and it comes with a money back guarantee so you really can't go wrong i highly recommend that you check it out take these six thrusting techniques that i just laid out for you was that sick did i do seven we did back and forth fast and slow shallow and deep clenched and relaxed consistent in taking breaks and oh hard versus gentle yeah that was six there we go there you have it six different thrusting techniques to help you delay your own orgasm and help your female partner to have an orgasm through penetration now if you are super invested in getting here to have an orgasm through penetration you also have to check out my free guide called three techniques to wow her in the bedroom i designed them so that you can use these three techniques to either give her an orgasm or just get her super close to having an orgasm before you penetrate so that she is more likely to scream and moan and call out your name and bring down the house once you are inside of her all right that's it from me thanks for tuning in i will see you here next week bye i forgot to say like and subscribe basically say like please say please do like and subscribe um also please leave me a comment if you like this video leave me a comment we could say nice things thank you

Channel: Caitlin V

Views: 2,079,607

Rating: 4.8858685 out of 5

Keywords: sex, relationship, premature ejaculation, orgasm, PE, caitlin v, better sex coach, caitlyn v

Id: vASm1v84VQE

Length: 12min 13sec (733 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 01 2020